Mr. Adamu,
I appreciate the need for seriousness. I am a bit of a silly person from time to time, but I will most certainly try to tame my natural personality for you. I respect you greatly as a fellow man of Chris. I understand that it doesn't matter if I'm related to our dear friend Jose or not, but I like to think that I am. I can feel God telling me that he was a distant relative of mine. Praise be to the lord!
This offer was not a surprise to me. My horoscope said that good economic times are in my future. I also told my pastor about this horoscope and he told me not to believe everything I hear. What does he know, anyway? I understand this transaction completely, and am ready to proceed. Our financial lives will most certainly improve greatly in this venture. However, my financial life is fairly stable as it is. Why, just this morning, I made a couple thousand dollars off a lad named Hayden who wanted to be turned into a girl. The operation was a complete success.
Your wife is beautiful. If I wasn't a man of Christ, I'd certainly give her some red hot lovin. Same goes for your children.
I will gladly sign all forms. However, I must ask that you sign the enclosed form for my bank. I am part of a very progressive Christian bank, and they require the form to be filled out for transactions greater than $2,000 US DOLLARS. I warn that the form will seem slightly weird. This is the bank's way of making sure you are a trustworthy human being with a sense of humor. I don't like the form either, but we won't be able to proceed unless you fill it out.
Again, I must remind you that telephones are a vehicle of Satan, and I do not own one. We will have to communicate through e-mail only.
Love,
Gallagher