Thanks for answering.
Hope you don't mind me asking all these questions.
1. What’s your philosophy in life?
2. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?
3. If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?
4. What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?
5. Do you have a personal mission statement?
6. How do you express your gratitude for good things and people you have in your life?
7. How do you react when you encounter a homeless person?
8. What is your favorite quote?
9. Do you believe in forgiving others for wronging you every single time?
10. What inspires you?
Sorry for all these questions and thanks.
Not at all. Ask whatever you want. I have no secrets.
1. "If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” - Tolkien
2. I'm exceedingly introverted.
3. Left alone
4. That just because I'm quiet and usually keep to myself in large groups doesn't make me rude or arrogant. It's just my social anxiety.
5. I never sat down to think about one.
6. I actually feel really awkward when people help me or compliment me or give me things. I usually tense up and just say thank you a million times.
7. I encounter homeless people on a daily basis. As much as I hate to say I've become so used to it that sometimes it doesn't faze me, it's sometimes the cruel truth of it all. However, there are times when I'll throw them a dollar or a bottle of water if I happen to have one on me. However, one morning this happened:
I boarded the A train earlier today and surprisingly found three or four open seats. As I sat down, I suddenly realized why as I caught the odor of a sickly looking man a few seats over. Obviously people were avoiding sitting near him. Partly for the odor and probably because they thought he was some homeless crazy. I saw him making hand motions out of the corner of my eye and noticed him scratching his leg. When I took a closer look at his leg, there was obviously some kind of infection as there was a hole the size of a dime through his layers of skin.
I sat for a bit as people who were anywhere near him took their first chance to find a seat at the other end of the subway car. I had every opportunity to do the same but a part of me felt bad about doing so and I sat their reading. I was distracted though and reached into my bag and pulled out the sandwich I had made for myself and offered it to him. He responded, "You keep it. I only have a few days left anyway." I said, "Then you should enjoy whatever time you have left as best you can. Take the sandwich and enjoy it. You need it far more than I do." He took it from me and I saw a tear form in his eye. What I then saw in him was the innocence of the young child he once was, laughing and playing, and filled with dreams of the future, now sitting on a Manhattan subway car on a cold winters day counting down his last hours in this world.
8. I don't want to cheat and use the Tolkien quote again, so I'll come up with another. I actually love the last verse in Illumination Theory. It sums up life in so many ways. Don't take the words at face value. They go far deeper than they appear.
To really feel the joy in life
You must suffer through the pain
When you surrender to the light
You can face the darkest days
If you open up your eyes
And you put your trust in love
On those cold and endless nights
You will never be alone
Passion glows within your heart
Like a furnace burning bright
Until you struggle through the dark
You'll never know that you're alive
9. I have a hard time forgiving those who have wronged me in certain ways. I really really hate being lied to, like more than you could ever think. It's such a low form of human interaction, to deceive someone with such apathy that you can blatantly look them in the eyes and say something you know isn't true. I think it's because I don't trust so easily anymore, so if someone is going to remind me why, then I feel like I can't be bothered with them. I don't mean little white lies either. I mean like that girl who tore my fucking heart out. See, not only did she pick up and leave
me, my daughter kept asking for her as well. She kept asking, "Where's Natalie and Shannen?" Shannen is Natalie's daughter. Now, how do I explain to my special needs child that they aren't coming back anymore? All I could say was that they aren't coming over anymore. I don't know how well she processed it, but she looked almost confused and upset. You know what that does to a man, to see his daughter trying so hard to communicate and understand, but all you see is hurt and confusion in her eyes. Okay, I'm going to stop now. Anyways...sorry for the digression.
10. Knowing that I only feel comfortable when my daughter is around me. Not that her mother is a bad mother, but I can't function the same, wondering if she's getting the attention she deserves and needs. So, when that girl tore my heart out and I wanted to become a professional alcoholic to numb the pain, I couldn't, because I know there's a six year old girl who needs me at my best. That's all the inspiration a man needs.
By the way, here she is a few years ago in the A Dramatic Turn of Events shirt my best friend bought for her.