Sorry, have not read other replies yet. In reply to OP Phoenix, my soon to be Divorce has details very close to your breakup/divorce IMO. Me and my ex dated for two years, and after her openly know I g it was coming, I proposed in 2.5 years from the start. We Married two years later. We were married for at least a total of 6 (don't know when it will be final). About 6plus of the total 8 years were awesome.
My details are similar now in that we both completed university graduate programs after our wedding. We were both in the intro-middle of our programs before and after the wedding, with my ex doing awesome at school and planning. We also held down full time jobs. No kids.
And within the past two years or so, stuff came to a head I feel for us in the same way your relationship did. I have IMO a real perspective of romantic relationships. I did as much wrong as she did, and/or vice versa. I know I never made her consistently feel as awesome as she is. There are some things I believe that happened, but I have no concrete information. So therefore, I just accept the relationship failure as that, doesn't matter the reason. The relationship is just broken, and us as a consensus didn't do much to try to fix it.
I can relate I think in that the finality hit hard, was unexpected and thought this one would last forever. We got a home loan, my fertility was checked, and that was the next step as we grew in our careers together and as a potential new immediate family. My overall complacency and comfort from the always possible end was my biggest fault.
~edit, below added in~
Seriously, though, I don't think there's any one answer. I don't at all mean to suggest that Coz is wrong or misinformed, since my divorce seems to have some parallels to his, but I would venture to sya that if you asked both of our exes, they would have a similar story against us. At least I know mine would. She blames me for everything (including cheating first, even though that never happened; I have never actually met the girl in question and I can prove that, but she doesn't believe it.)
***Cut for length, don't want to have a huge post length. All your content is relevant***
Well stated Stadler, your entire post.
Captain Obvious here- I think the overall theme is things change, people change. Or at least their feelings towards each other change. Generally, it never starts that way. But distance grows for a various reasons. Job loss, job gain, kid gain, kid loss, sickness, death, extended family, reckless behavior and on and on. I do feel both sides long for what was, and lament over what is. I do not think anyone with a time machine would go through multiple break-ups. And no matter the percentage of blame if we break it into that, but sides share some, and both really dislike that it ended. I do not think most people in "healthy" relationships (non-abusive) are excited and want a break-up. My only thought is relief for it being over, but not excitement.