Like most things, there are multiple sides to things. HOA’s can have positive aspects and negative aspects. Sometimes the very same aspect of an HOA can impact different people in very different ways. The issues with the HOA are similar to government in general. All an HOA is in reality is a document. The issues arise with the people who are involved.
A simplified observation, but pretty accurate in my experience.
I am on the board of my HOA. It can get dicey for sure. But if the board and the PM can work in good faith with the community, with good intentions and flexibility, it can work. Just like with residents, if they honestly try, it can work.
Also, you signed those papers when you bought the house, so you knew when you moved in those rules were in place, so patience only goes so far.
I find that an HOAs benefits usually outweigh the negatives if it is a reasonable document with reasonable residents.
Likewith pg’s painting example. There should be an architectural committee ( we have one) that can make decisions and exceptions on a case by case basis. Make the request, examine the property, grant the exception, problem solved.