In Important Music NewsMonday, December 28, 2009
KrotchRaut Vocalist Changes Nameby Ffelok Hsoj
Today in the courtroom in their cave in Sweden, in Josh's room, upstairs, a member and co-founder of the world famous band, KrotchRaut, Aress Begee (R.S.B.G.) officially changed his name to Arby Emgee (R.B.M.G.), which some fans have said stands for "Random Black Metal Guy".
Arby Emgee stated in ear destroying, black metal vocals, "We just thought it would make more sense considering Ardy Emgee and I are brothers and I do black metal style vocals and that it adds to our story in the Band Bio section on KrotchRaut's myspace page."
Police have reported many suicides pertaining to this name change. A fan we interviewed said this before killing himself by stabbing himself in the face with a knife-wrench, "I just carved the KrotchRaut logo into my back with all the member's names under it! I can't change it now! AHHHHH! I'm just going to stab myself in the face with this knife-wrench!"
Arby's brother Ardy responded to the fans in a blood curdling growl, "These fans are behaving like lunatics, it's only a name change. It's not like he left the band and hasn't done an interview about the band in like 15 years... Kevin Moore."
The other band members had nothing to add except their bassist, King Bah Gah, who said, "I enjoy children."
Hsoj, Ffelok J. "KrotchRaut Vocalist Changes Name" Music News 28 Dec. 2009. 1A.
For more news updates on KrotchRaut click the links below:
KrotchRaut on MySpaceKrotchRaut's Official BlogKrotchRaut's Youtube Channel