Geez, I've been messaging a few different women on OKCupid and so far I'm not impressed with the response. I always hated this part of dating.
Their responses or lack of response? I say I get ignored something like 9 out of 10 times. The worst is they look at your profile after you message them and get no response, that's some rejection
It's discouraging sometimes. If they're looking for a real relationship then I'm not sure what scares them from my profile.
I'm not sold that all or most women are looking for relationships on that site, even when they explicitly say they are. I've never used any other site besides Tinder and OKcupid, but I really get the feeling that there is only a small subset of people actually looking for real relationships on those sites/apps. I wonder if some of the other paid sites like match.com are better for that since if you pay then you are a bit more committed to finding someone?
As someone who used Match successfully (going on a year and a half now), I can unequivocally say "there are some weird people out there". I think the problem is that the expectations are different and the means of communication is as well.
I will talk to anyone at any time. So if I'm in a bar (and I often go to my local by myself, just to have a bite to eat or chat with the bartenders, who are all cute and about half my age) I have no issue with striking up a random conversation with someone, because for me, it isn't about "meeting the one". It's about having a brief random conversation with someone. And usually you can tell within about ten minutes or so if there is any desire for the conversation to turn more meaningful. You don't have that option on an OKCupid or a Match. People don't write like they talk (and when they do - brb, LOL, OMG I am so hppy 4 2! - they sound like total a-holes) and so it is hard to be discriminating.
I did meet someone on Match that I have remained friends with, even though there is no romantic spark, and at one point we were talking about this, and she pointed something out to me: I had the same lofty opinion of my profile, and she had me search for men, my age, and see what I came up with. I was stunned to get... about 25 profiles almost exactly like mine. EVERY guy is smart, fun, loves music, yadda yadda yadda. So your "9 out of 10 rejection" isn't likely a direct rejection of YOU, it's that for whatever reason, there was ten of you, identical like Stormtroopers, and she picked one - perhaps even at random - that wasn't you.
I think the one thing I learned from internet dating that I had not been terribly successful at doing before that (and CERTAINLY not when I was younger) is embracing the Gene Simmons method of dating: ONLY THE "YES"'s COUNT. Whether you ask one girl or ten or a hundred, if only one says "YES", it doesn't matter, because, ONE SAID YES.