Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip

[Stadler]

Long story but again I'm a little annoyed with the one guy for the continual message that he feels I should come to his place all the time. A friend of mine asked about substance use and basically said he sounds like all of his pothead friends who want to get laid but don't have the drive to get off their asses and want girls to come to them. He does smoke a good amount but I never thought of him as the stereotypical stoner... but maybe that has something to do with it.

Not at all suggesting you have to be like me, but I know for me, in relationships, I will do basically anything, up and until I feel taken advantage of, and then it's like a light switch:  OFF, and I'm done.   That guy would have crossed that line a long time ago. 

Also, related but separate question: have you guys ever been in a relationship where when you're WITH the person you're totally infatuated but when you're apart you don't feel super strongly and they maybe even get on your nerves? That's kind of how this feels- when I'm with him all is right, but then when we're just texting and I'm thinking about stuff I'm not as crazy about him. Shold I blame pheromones, physical chemistry? I'm not sure...

This is a great question, and at first I felt like "no", but now that I think about it, there was a girl I worked with (we were in different offices, two states apart) that I started to see, and man, was she sexy.  When we were together, it was like she was a different person: warm, open, adventurous.  She was really pretty and it felt like (sexually) there was just a whole untapped - no pun intended - reservoir there.   This was before texting (hang on, let me get my walker) so we were limited to email and talking on the phone, and the emails were great: sexy, inviting, etc. but it seemed like the phone calls were really... I don't know... desperate?  I felt trapped from 3 hours away, even though when we were together it was excellent.  I finally ended it, because we were so far apart that the "apart time" (read: not fun) very much out-weighed the "together time" (read: fun).  It was a shame, because to this day I still once in a while think about her... but no regrats (really? None?  Not one letter?).

[bout to crash]

Hmm, interesting and I can relate.

In response to some of the things said in the last few posts:

John, I like your weather analogy. That makes sense and maybe is part of it but I also feel like it's this physical attraction that only happens when we're together.

Cram- I have never seen this guy so super stoned that he's too high to hear a phone ring. I do think he is a fairly responsible user, and again not your stereotypical stoner type in many ways (but you may have a different definiton of that, so I'm curious). He's very functional, works full time and also tends the plants with his roommates, etc. Just kind of a homebody, but not necessarily in the "I only want to stay here and get stoned" sort of way. Like, his mom was in town recently for a few days and they went out to see Star Wars and that was pretty much all they did, so I think it's just how it is in his family.
In regards to the plant thing: He was super busy for two days working on them, but it's not that he was too busy to text, we just couldn't hang out on those days. He responded to me, just a bit more slowly than usual because he was in the thick of it.
And no, I'm not partaking with him because it's not usually my thing
The sex is fine. Not great. Tbh it feels a bit formulaic and he is way more vanilla than I am. He's great at pulling hair, though. And cuddling.

Stadler, I know what you mean about being taken advantage of. I do feel that way at times, but not that he's doing anything egregious. I really do enjoy hanging with and talking to him and we have a lot in common and stuff, so it's hard to figure out if I feel it's balanced. I obviously don't have a ton invested in him and I don't feel super attached, so sometimes I feel like I am willing to overlook crap because of that.

[Prog Snob]

Hmm, interesting and I can relate.

In response to some of the things said in the last few posts:

John, I like your weather analogy. That makes sense and maybe is part of it but I also feel like it's this physical attraction that only happens when we're together.

Then I suppose the future of this relationship is pending on how serious you want it to be with this guy. If it's purely for releasing the poison then have fun with it, but if you want something more fruitful, I don't think this is the kind of guy for you.   Just my opinion based on his actions.

[cramx3]

Well that was me just making assumptions based on some of the stoners I know that fit the descriptions you were giving (pretty much the stereotype) for which I apologize.  I get what you mean by not being attached and therefore not caring about many things, like the little annoyances.  Do you have any plans with him this weekend or any of the others you are currently seeing? 

Here is my biggest problem with Brooklyn girl and it's surprisingly not the kissing.  It's that she does not make the effort, she does not show me any signs of any interest other than the fact that she agrees with me when I ask to hang out or something.  She doesn't make the move when we kiss, she didn't respond when I humped her leg either negatively or positively, ya know that was my sign of hey let's do something more than bad kissing.  And besides the "I miss ya" text last weekend, there has been no sign of any real interest.  I can't tell if she just would rather be friends and not even kiss.  When I asked her if she wanted to hang out this weekend, I offered Friday night and she says "well let me know" .... I just did.  I didn't respond for awhile after that text (back on Monday or Tuesday) and then she finally got back and said yea lets do Friday and I can come there.  So yesterday I just purposely did not text her, I want her to show some interest.  She finally texted me in the evening and we discussed plans for today and I ended it with "you decide what we are doing, when you come to me I have made the plans for what we do because it is in my area, I do not know Brooklyn so you decide what we do" to which I got an angry face in return  .  I'm very close to just canceling tonight now, I kind of want to go because chilling in Brooklyn is different, but if she doesn't have any plan to offer (and the plan can be as simple as let's get take out and chill on the couch...just SOMETHING) I think I am just going to go home after work and maybe something like last weekend will happen where I have way more fun doing my thing without the date.  I have no problem putting effort in, but I do have a problem feeling like I am the only one putting effort in (Jackie knows how this feels).  Funny fact, she is also a stoner.

[Prog Snob]

That could just be her personality. She seems very timid so pushing her might make her retract into her shell even further. Or maybe she likes a man to take the wheel. Where in Brooklyn does she live? I can probably recommend some places for you.

[cramx3]

That could just be her personality. She seems very timid so pushing her might make her retract into her shell even further. Or maybe she likes a man to take the wheel. Where in Brooklyn does she live? I can probably recommend some places for you.

Maybe that is totally true, but then she just isn't for me then.  I have no problem with the man taking control, but just like the kissing, she shows NOTHING in response.  I don't really want to take the 45 minute drive there and then hour and a half home if she can't even say "let's just stay in and chill" which I 100% believe that is what she wants to do and I would be OK with that, but she needs to say it, she needs to show something.  This would end up being like our 5th date, by this time I should know a lot more about what she is interested in, but instead I am left with an angry face because I asked her to make a decision.  I did respond to her angry face with a smiley face, but that is where our conversation was left last night.  I'll wait until ~4pm before I make a decision if she hasn't yet made one.

[Prog Snob]

If she's not for you, then so be it. Don't drag it out longer than it has to be. Maybe you can just remain friends.

[cramx3]

If she's not for you, then so be it. Don't drag it out longer than it has to be. Maybe you can just remain friends.

Well that is what I am trying to figure out, she has always been fun when we are together but I have organized and planned and put everything together.  I have made the moves, I have told her how I feel... I've gotten nothing back.  This week has been her opportunity to show me something.  She hasn't done it yet.  Hence why I am internally putting a deadline on this.  I feel like I am becoming a grumpy single man now, every girl I talk or see to just makes me mad now.  I guess that is just built up dating frustrations.

To add to my frustrations, this week I've been talking to a couple other girls on okcupid.  One of which we had some great conversations, very intellectual and not typical for what I have seen.  I think it's because she is older, 37.  Very mature and I like that a lot.  However, she said she wanted to have a phone conversation and she said Thursday night.  So last night I text her if she is available to talk (we had been texting back and worth just before I asked to call)... no response for an hour and half and then an excuse and "can we just talk tomorrow night?"  I'm just so frustrated. 

[Stadler]

I hope we're all friends here and can speak our mind.   I get that we shouldn't be with someone who WE don't like, and believe me, I know exactly what it's like to be with a woman who is the whole nine yards - pretty, smart, fun, GGG - but there's just... nothing.  I get it. (And I know the opposite:  average looking, etc. etc. but when you're around her you just POP).  Having said all that...

To be honest, Cram, something doesn't sound right.  She IS showing interest, just not the way you want her to.   Is she shy?  Does she have a long "history"?   Maybe she's just scared, and trying to see if she can trust you or not.  I don't know, I can't put my finger on it.   

I'm not suggesting date someone you don't like (in that way, Prog Snob is right on) but maybe it might take a little effort to get to the jewel in the oyster? 

EDIT:  That there is not a metaphor for anything. 

[Prog Snob]

If she's not for you, then so be it. Don't drag it out longer than it has to be. Maybe you can just remain friends.

Well that is what I am trying to figure out, she has always been fun when we are together but I have organized and planned and put everything together.  I have made the moves, I have told her how I feel... I've gotten nothing back.  This week has been her opportunity to show me something.  She hasn't done it yet.  Hence why I am internally putting a deadline on this.  I feel like I am becoming a grumpy single man now, every girl I talk or see to just makes me mad now.  I guess that is just built up dating frustrations.

To add to my frustrations, this week I've been talking to a couple other girls on okcupid.  One of which we had some great conversations, very intellectual and not typical for what I have seen.  I think it's because she is older, 37.  Very mature and I like that a lot.  However, she said she wanted to have a phone conversation and she said Thursday night.  So last night I text her if she is available to talk (we had been texting back and worth just before I asked to call)... no response for an hour and half and then an excuse and "can we just talk tomorrow night?"  I'm just so frustrated.

37? Then I've probably seen her profile.

Don't get frustrated over the trivial things, like someone taking too long to respond. You never know what she's dealing with on the other end. As a stranger to her, she certainly isn't going to tell you if she's dealing with personal issues. See what happens with that one. Maybe she was legitimately distracted by something important.

Stop being grumpy.   I sense it in the way you're writing. I get discouraged, too, because it seems like it's hopeless.  But don't make emotional choices.

[cramx3]

Please do speak your mind even if you say "cram, stop being an asshole"  I totally get it and actually do want to hear it.  I actually know for a fact I have been an asshole this week, I've been very grumpy and things seem to be getting to me that shouldn't and I'd rather someone tell me how they see it, than sugercoat it and make me feel like everything is fine when they think it isn't or I know it isn't.

I actually have put effort into this though, maybe it does not come out that way because you all know I've met and dated other girls and I've said this one girl has a kissing problem.  Having said that, I still put a lot more effort into this than I should have and it's a reason why I am kind of backing off and waiting to see if she puts ANY effort into it.  I know right now I am playing this like the asshole, I put it all on her and am waiting for her to put the effort in, which is definitely wrong in a way.  But for me, I need something from her, I need to know she cares.  A saturday midnight text of "i miss ya" just isn't cutting it for me.  That was literally the only sign (other than not rejecting my kisses or my attempts to hang out) that she actually put out there of her own effort.  At 5 dates and a month of chit chatting, if she has any chance of wanting me to be interested in her then I need to know it.  I've told her twice already that I don't feel like she is interested.  She knows where I stand. 

I've got other people asking to make plans tonight.  I've told them after 4pm I'll know.  That's a deadline I made up and did not tell her, it's a dick move, but I am not waiting around for her just to say "whatever you want" NO I want to know what you want.  I want feedback from her, positive/negative I don't care, show some emotion!  And I won't lie, the angry face she sent last night really pissed me off, but as I said, I'm easy to piss off this week.

Prog, I just got annoyed with that last night.  I'm still chatting with her, she seems very nice. But once again, it's just the mood I am in this week as to why it bothered me so much last night.

[Prog Snob]

Please do speak your mind even if you say "cram, stop being an asshole"  I totally get it and actually do want to hear it.  I actually know for a fact I have been an asshole this week, I've been very grumpy and things seem to be getting to me that shouldn't and I'd rather someone tell me how they see it, than sugercoat it and make me feel like everything is fine when they think it isn't or I know it isn't.

I actually have put effort into this though, maybe it does not come out that way because you all know I've met and dated other girls and I've said this one girl has a kissing problem.  Having said that, I still put a lot more effort into this than I should have and it's a reason why I am kind of backing off and waiting to see if she puts ANY effort into it.  I know right now I am playing this like the asshole, I put it all on her and am waiting for her to put the effort in, which is definitely wrong in a way.  But for me, I need something from her, I need to know she cares.  A saturday midnight text of "i miss ya" just isn't cutting it for me.  That was literally the only sign (other than not rejecting my kisses or my attempts to hang out) that she actually put out there of her own effort.  At 5 dates and a month of chit chatting, if she has any chance of wanting me to be interested in her then I need to know it.  I've told her twice already that I don't feel like she is interested.  She knows where I stand. 

I've got other people asking to make plans tonight.  I've told them after 4pm I'll know.  That's a deadline I made up and did not tell her, it's a dick move, but I am not waiting around for her just to say "whatever you want" NO I want to know what you want.  I want feedback from her, positive/negative I don't care, show some emotion!  And I won't lie, the angry face she sent last night really pissed me off, but as I said, I'm easy to piss off this week.

Prog, I just got annoyed with that last night.  I'm still chatting with her, she seems very nice. But once again, it's just the mood I am in this week as to why it bothered me so much last night.

Question for you...

If you removed the part about her where she seems indecisive about making plans, what else bothers you? You mentioned the kissing, right? Is  there anything else?

[cramx3]

Kissing, the indecisiveness and the whole "no feedback" at all, maybe that is part of the indecisiveness.  She also seems a bit bitchy.  She hasn't been bitchy to me, but the way she talks to me about her friends makes me think she may not have many.  And then she just lives too far away for anything serious to ever form.  I'd put the effort and try if I felt it was worth it, but I keep feeling it's not worth it because she hasn't done anything to make me feel like it's worth it. 

[Prog Snob]

Kissing, the indecisiveness and the whole "no feedback" at all, maybe that is part of the indecisiveness.  She also seems a bit bitchy.  She hasn't been bitchy to me, but the way she talks to me about her friends makes me think she may not have many.  And then she just lives too far away for anything serious to ever form.  I'd put the effort and try if I felt it was worth it, but I keep feeling it's not worth it because she hasn't done anything to make me feel like it's worth it.

If it were me, I would have broke it off already. Talking about her friends to you, someone she barely knows, like that. What is she saying about you to her friends? She seems cynical and pessimistic. The more you tell me about her, the more it seems like a no-brainer.

[vtgrad]

I've never met a poor oyster... I mean, look at how much you have to pay to get a decent serving.  And don't even start on the cost of the pearls.

@cram; if she's knows where you stand maybe the midnight text is her way of showing you she cares.  Perhaps, as Stadler alluded to, she's carrying the baggage of a few previous poor relationship choices and she's a little gun-shy.  Maybe she likes the way you take charge of the plans between you and is agreeable to anything you want to do... as long as you're doing it together.  Maybe she's having problems articulating that to you.

Or maybe she's using you for the free meals? 

I've always thought that direct, honest communication about what a person is feeling is the way to go; sounds like you've given her that communication and she's not really reciprocating... maybe you should make those other plans and let her get back to you this time.  But don't let the fact that you've had a bad week (it happens to all of us man) shade how you respond to her responses. 

The kissing thing would throw me off too... I don't think you're being an a$$hole about that (or anything else honestly).

[cramx3]

When she told me she doesn't like to kiss with tongue, I should have just known that was a deal breaker.  I feel like I am letting my guard down with these girls.  The cancelling girl, the AC girl, this girl.... all in one week and they are all making me so angry.  All I've been is nice to every one of them and did the things I do to make them know I am interested, but my niceness has been abused before (I think the AC girl was abusing my niceness, and honestly maybe Brooklyn girl is too and then canceling girl just played me for a fool).

VT, 100% right that I shouldn't let my other things bothering me affect this.  I think my feelings remain the same, but my reaction is what is being affected.

I just don't feel like driving out to Brooklyn, paying the ridiculous tolls, likely paying for our meal that I have to figure out, and then drive the hour and a half home for someone who won't even slip me the tongue after 5 dates

[Prog Snob]

Who's the girl you're going to Epica with? Wasn't it Brooklyn girl?

[cramx3]

Who's the girl your going to Epica with? Wasn't it Brooklyn girl?

Nope, that was the girl I was dating this past fall and ended it with a month ago, but we decided to stay friends.  Still talk to her, still think she is a great girl and we are still going to Epica next week, as friends.

[Prog Snob]

That's good that you're remaining friends with her.

[cramx3]

That's good that you're remaining friends with her.

Yea, I'm really happy about that because I always thought she was a really awesome person, just came to the realization she wasn't going to be my girlfriend due to many other issues so we decided to remain friends.  I had never been able to do that before, but we still chat every few days. 

Edit to add:

I ended it with Brooklyn girl.  She finally texted asking if we were hanging out.  Told her exactly how I felt and ended it.  Only now does she say the things I was waiting to hear.  It honestly sounds EXACTLY like my ex and making me feel like I made the correct decision.  She also said she was hoping I would sleep over LOL why didn't she ask me to then?  I was wondering why she didn't offer that knowing I was going to have to drive all the way home, I didn't bring anything with me to spend the night obviously, but her asking that say yesterday or on Tuesday when we first made the plans would have added a lot more reason for me to think she does have interest and does care.  Too little too late in my book.  I feel bad if that is how she truly feels, but her response to the ending made me feel like it was the correct thing to do as well as all of the other reasons already mentioned.

[bout to crash]

Oh man, I definitely think you made the right choice. Gawd you sound so much like me, especially with.. let's call him Plant Man? Lol.. not sure why he doesn't have a nickname yet. That would have driven me crazy, not getting any feedback. You made it clear to her that you wanted her to make the plans, which was totally reasonable, and she couldn't even make that work. Maybe it's the stoner thing, who knows. But that combined with the kissing and the lack of showing interest spells lots of trouble. I'm sorry you're feeling grumpy and disheartened- I don't blame you and I've been there (remember when I had those three OKC strikes that all started out promisingly in a short time? Oy vey).

So, here's my update. I finally decided to let plant guy know how I felt last night, because I realized I was still upset two days later and was tired of holding it in. We hadn't talked in 24hrs when I sent this:



And after that I said something about it being a rough week and that maybe I was feeling a bit more sensitive but that was where I was at. He said he was sorry it's been a rough week, and that was all of our communication yesterday, period.

So late morning today I figured I would try to break the ice and make him laugh. I sent him this because it popped up on my FB, and because I like to tease him about his sports love:



But instead of the lighthearted response I was expecting, I immediately felt him on the defensive. He basically just started defending sports to me. So I sort of lightly debated the points he was making and thought we were just having a harmless back and forth..  long story, but this basically ended in him calling me a sheep because I voted for Obama (wtf, I know). When I called him out on being defensive, he tried to play it off like it was because of my texts from this morning, and said I could "read into things all I wanted" but he felt like I was attacking him with the sports stuff. It was super weird and irrational IMO, and it was pretty clear to me that he was still upset by my text from last night. I finally got him to admit that, sort of, by saying "Well I didn't go to bed smiling."
It felt very much to me like he was looking for some sort of apology or take-back. But I'm fucking done apologizing to people for having feelings. I think I said what I had to say in a mature, adult way, and he ended up having a delayed reaction that was pretty childish. I told him I wasn't sure what to say at this point but hoped he was having a good day, and we exchanged a couple more bare bones texts but that was it. Honestly, if we're done because I fucking told him how I felt, he can kiss my ass. The fact that he got so defensive about it says to me that he knows it's true and he's feeling like an asshole, but what do I know?  I'm just peeved and tired of this shit.

I do have two pieces of good news!

1. I had a date with heavy metal yoga guy tonight and it was really nice! Sort of low energy as we both had shite weeks/days and have been feeling down, but we spent hours having really great conversation, ate a good meal, looked at some art, and cuddled.

2. At the art show, I ran into my ex (video store guy, the one who I broke things off with and then later tried to spark a friendship with but sorta got guilt-tripped so I backed off). I knew he'd probably be there because it was one of his best friends' shows so I almost chickened out, but I knew we would have to cross paths eventually so I braved it and it ended up going surprisingly well. We had a brief but good conversation- he basically vented to me about all his recent life drama and grief over David Bowie  (so typical him ), and the energy was good. It didn't feel forced, though eventually I needed to get out of there. We hugged and he said I should stop in the store sometime. So that's good news. I do want to be friends with him and maybe we're both finally ready. I'm over the drama and hopefully he is too.

[cramx3]

Time heals all wounds.  Seems like some time and distance from your ex has allowed you two to be able to have a nice exchange.

As for plantman, seems ridiculous to me.  I know what it is like to get a negative text (you calling him out on the sleep is a negative towards him) and then instead of accepting it, take it further than necessary.  I've done that a lot with my ex sadly to admit.  I didn't realize I was doing it at the time, only now I can look back and realize the divisive things I did in that relationship.  It's a refocus of the issue... as to how it turned around into your vote for Obama is proof of that.  He redirected and took a shot at you.  Seems like a lot of signs are there that this is not working for you.  That's great you had a good time with metalyogaman!

Since I came home after work I had some time and ended up having two separate phone conversations with new girls from okcupid.  I feel like no one ever wants to talk on the phone anymore, but it was really nice to have these conversations.  The older lady (37) kept complimenting me because I was able to write proficiently lol I feel bad for the human race if this is what we have come down to.  "You write in proper English, therefore you are now attractive" LOL  She seems very nice though, we shall see what happens.  I went out with my friend later in the evening and had our typical fun night out so I am officially over Brooklyn girl.  I do feel really bad though, I just can't help myself from feeling bad when I end things.

[Prog Snob]

From the last few posts, it's painstakingly obvious that the dating pool has turned into a sea of mediocrity.

So, some 25 year old responded and said she's looking to make something happen but she goes back home in March when her contract is up. I suppose I could just enjoy it while it lasts instead of passing up the chance to do something.

[cramx3]

From the last few posts, it's painstakingly obvious that the dating pool has turned into a sea of mediocrity.

So, some 25 year old responded and said she's looking to make something happen but she goes back home in March when her contract is up. I suppose I could just enjoy it while it lasts instead of passing up the chance to do something.

Might as well enjoy yourself, and I feel the same about the dating pool after what I was told last night.  I mean she was nice and complimenting me, but geeze have we as a human race gone to such a new low where that makes you stand out.

[Prog Snob]

I empathize with her. I've read some profiles that seem like they were written by nine year olds. It's nice to be able to talk to someone that can communicate well.

[cramx3]

I empathize with her. I've read some profiles that seem like they were written by nine year olds. It's nice to be able to talk to someone that can communicate well.

That's actually what sparked the conversation.  The other girl,our conversation sparked because she put in her profile she is not "netflix and chill"    My friend and I always make fun of this, like is your life that boring that you have to put "netflix" in your profile.  List 6 things you cant live without....netflix.  Seriously? It's practically in every girls profile somewhere.  I didn't expect this girl to respond since she is pretty (those are the types that ignore my messages  ) but I sent her a little rant about "netflix and chill" and we ended up having a great conversation and she lives very close to me and had a very similar experience (9 year relationship that failed).

[bout to crash]

, people actually put Netflix in their profiles?! I'm not sure I've ever seen that. And yeah, it is sad that typing proper English is such an unusual quality that people are looking for it, but whatever.
Sounds like you have some promising options, cram. And John, sounds like it's up to you to decide if you're willing to deal with something that short.. or something that could turn long distance.

But yeah, I'm just sort of gonna leave the plant man thing alone. If I reallllly feel I have to say something else to him I will, but at this point it's gonna be on him. I am tired of doing that dance where I piss somebody off by just being true to myself, and then bend over backwards to make sure they're not too upset, or whatever. He's a grown ass 30 year old man. He should be able to deal with this. Thanks for sharing your own experience with that, cram. We all do shit like that. I sure have, which is why I recognized it.

[Prog Snob]

I saw that profile, with the "not Netflix and chill." I can't remember if I messaged her though. I'd say more often than not, someone has Netflix listed in their profile.

[Prog Snob]

[bout to crash]

What does that mean?

Haven't heard from plant dude at all since yesterday. Invited the lady over but she's busy, so I'm about to make a liquor store run, then watch a movie while cuddling with the cats. Saturday night, bitches.

[Prog Snob]

What does that mean?

Haven't heard from plant dude at all since yesterday. Invited the lady over but she's busy, so I'm about to make a liquor store run, then watch a movie while cuddling with the cats. Saturday night, bitches.

It's a Game of Thrones reference.  Cram will get it when he shows up. 

Your Saturday night is no different from mine. I'm finally sitting down to watch Battle of the Five Armies Extended Edition and just finished some frozen pizzas.

[cramx3]

What does that mean?

Haven't heard from plant dude at all since yesterday. Invited the lady over but she's busy, so I'm about to make a liquor store run, then watch a movie while cuddling with the cats. Saturday night, bitches.

It's a Game of Thrones reference.  Cram will get it when he shows up. 

Your Saturday night is no different from mine. I'm finally sitting down to watch Battle of the Five Armies Extended Edition and just finished some frozen pizzas.

  I just got home.  Such a disappointing evening.  Not because of the girls, because of my guys.  My friend ditched us to be with a girl, another friend said he "ate too much"  and couldn't come out and then my other friend said "I'm too drunk to leave" so I ended up just chilling with my one married friend at a local bar which was a lot of fun,but I'm home and it's early.

[bout to crash]

Ate too much?! That's an absurd excuse.

I saw my ex/video store guy again tonight because I had to return my movies. We had a good conversation and a smoke and it was cool, so I texted him later saying it was good to talk to him and thanks, basically. I never heard back and it's been hours so now of course I'm overanalyzing and wondering if I upset him in some way, but whatever.

[Prog Snob]

Cram, it sounds like your friend who "ate too much" also ate his balls, because he obviously doesn't have any.   

Don't overanalyze it J. For all you know, he could be doing the very same thing. I doubt you did anything wrong. It's awkward having run-ins like  that with an ex. Don't put too much thought into it. It'll pass.

[cramx3]

Cram, it sounds like your friend who "ate too much" also ate his balls, because he obviously doesn't have any.   

Don't overanalyze it J. For all you know, he could be doing the very same thing. I doubt you did anything wrong. It's awkward having run-ins like  that with an ex. Don't put too much thought into it. It'll pass.

Agreed to both points.