You get results, that's what you get!
Round Two Results, 1 of 4: Kattelox - The Rainbow Warriors:Outworld – Raise Hell:Bus Impression: "Possibly torture"
Timestamp Snippet: 4:25 – 4:37: I'm pretty sure I've heard this the first time I beat Wonder Boy in Monsterland, circa 1988.
I can appreciate how such a mercyless detuned riffage (which I liked way better on its rare excursions in the middle range) onslaught carrying relentless screaming may be the perfect background music for exciting high adrenaline activities. Alas, for the way I'm wired, it becomes almost torture if I try to focus on it as a proper song. Can't argue with the sheer technical proficiency and I must admit Rusty Cooley – although never emotionally satisfying to my ears - is a virtuoso powerhouse in good company here.
Drumwork is impressive, but I find the constant meter tweaks hindered the song's pace, adding weight while subtracting energy. I admire the way the keyboardist found his distinct place inside the storm without resorting to a suicidal war of loudness, and the little bass solo is honestly a jewel. I have to respect the singer's pipes, but a kinda King Diamond crazy rapier would have suited the tune better than an unsustainably heavy broadsword. Call me a wuss, but this is a little too much bi-dimentional aggressive for me.
Vote: 6.0 – Maybe 25 years ago I had enough hormones for this. I had them for Tekken, after all.
Sacul - Hangmanen Addicts:Cosmo Sheldrake – Hocking:Bus Impression: "Carnival of horny elephants"
Timestamp Snippet: 2:42 – 3:04: Disney's Aristocats' tapes overdubbed with The Jungle Book's score.
1) When I first stumbled into this lovely forum in 2011, I was wearing a Captain Beefheart avatar. 2) For a brief period I planned to fly to Japan and propose to Yoko Kanno. 3) I may be the greatest Mike Patton mark alive, and I made sure to tell him while park-jogging in the city block we both lived in for several years (OK, park-stalking is more appropriate, but that's beside the point). All the hints say I should love this, then why I feel this tune has someway betrayed that anarchic irony's true spirit?
The first part is delicious, and it might have very well been the base for Cowboy Bebop – Episode 34: Rumble in the Jungle. Plus, the evil childish main theme is infectious enough to prepare you for anything. Then comes the big brass orgy, and the hopes for argute music deconstruction become a degeneration into orchestral self-indulgency. This kind of music is great (really one of my fiercest aural passions) until it begins taking itself seriously. In hindsight, after that (portentous) display of conduction, the first part loses its spark and sounds just like a silly jingle (sorry, Chad).
Vote: 6.2 A Day in the Life's big orchestral cluster works because the whole operation is always tongue-in-cheek despite the sublime musical outcome.
Shadow Ninja 2.0 - Wayward Vagabonds:Mumford & Sons – White Blank Page:Bus Impression: "Great pathos, unlistenable vocals"
Timestamp Snippet: 1:33 – 2:02: The emotional equivalent of an industrial paint stripper pointed to the face
It's powerful and moving, and sometimes it sounds timeless and primal. The traditional instrumentation's orchestration is glorious, and everytime the choir comes in it hits you with the strenght of a freefalling meteorite. What I just typed read like a solid base for a full 10, or at least like bonus points leading a song from good to great, and I stick to my story. Problem is, you unfortunately managed to pick the single kind of singing and enunciation I gladly would like to see outlawed for contempt of timbre and general song integrity.
The man has a nice timbre and communicative strenght, but he completely compromises it recurring to that hideous slurred clunky yet full of airy holes squished fake drunk phonation and articulation. It wouldn't be devastating per se, but it inevitably pulls me away from the tune's mood and story, like spotting a stagelight behind the valance during a perfectly faithful Shakespeare play. I feel bad because this tune's less-than-ideal rating is all about an idiosincracy of mine, but I'm afraid this is still my roulette.
Vote: 6.4 This is the epitome of a Round 5 smashing submission. Objectively lovely but carrying the virus that kills me.
Elite - Rich and The Poor Tastes:Agent Fresco – Yellow Nights:Bus Impression: "This must be great played on reverse tape"
Timestamp Snippet: 1:09 – 1:49: THOM YORKEITIS ALERT! THOM YORKEITIS ALERT!
This is a musical matryoshka. A reverse recording of a tune played reversing a tune written in reverse. Just listen to the ride cymbal accents on the fourth beat giving away the plot if you (i.e. everybody but Elite) don't believe me. From an intellectual (and rather masturbatory) standpoint, it's as fascinating as it gets and brimming with songwriting, rythmic, and melodic opportunities. Then why limiting exposition to three unsufficient minutes? It's like sitting on Westworld's plot and going for a five minutes infomercial.
Putting aside the Thom Yorke section (more annoying than disruptive) which mantains its inherent magic despite, well, Thom Yorkeitis anyway, there are pieces for a brilliant tune here. The groovy RHCP Hillel Slovak era riff deserved to flex its muscles on way more running time, maybe through variations and iterations exploiting the reverse tape effect in full. Alas, in its current form, this cut is more intellectual than arual pleasure and more gimmick piece than kick-arse quirky song. Fun fact (thank you Rich): the song, when played on reverse, still sounds like a reversed song.
Vote: 6.6 – Sometimes size does matter. Even on reverse.