DreamTheaterForums.org Dream Theater Fan Site
General => General Discussion => Topic started by: gmillerdrake on March 28, 2017, 12:40:33 PM
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At one time the 'Scenes' thread was a popular thread to participate in....curious to see if it can regain it's former glory.
The gist of it is an idea or situation will be presented and then responses to that idea or situation are posted as to how it plays out. I'll pick the first winner then from there the winner posts the next scene, and so on.......
Your Scene:
Your Mother catches you full on wanking it....
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"Quick. Blow on it, Mom. It stings"
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"Well what did you expect when you set me up with that Mormon chick?"
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Thanks, Obama
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I stare her right in the eyes and finish like a fucking man.
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Now put on your garment and cut your hair in a bowl shape.
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Hmm. Will follow with interest, possibly contributing depending on the scene and if I can think of something. I tried searching for the old SFAH thread and it said "Each word must be at least two characters long". So you can't search for anything including "a" in that sense. Bonkers!
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Here's the old thread (https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=36397.msg1541526#msg1541526)
...and the one before that. (https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=24514.msg943633#msg943633)
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I would ask her if she wants me to put my Oedipus in her Rex
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"Good. You were almost too late."
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I need a spanking.
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Gregg (Podaar) combined the standing from the previous threads to give us these aggregate standings.
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 36
gmillerdrake 33
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
MetalJunkie 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
Jarlaxle 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
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I'm lost. How do I get points?
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I'm lost. How do I get points?
I'll pick a winner for this 'scene'......they get the point then come up with the next scene....and so on.
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Can I reply more than once to a scene? This is like a caption with no picture.
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"I'll be finished with this Glamour magazine in a sec!"
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Can I reply more than once to a scene? This is like a caption with no picture.
If I remember correctly, TV once said there was a maximum of five responses...or was that the caption thread? :lol
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Can I reply more than once to a scene? This is like a caption with no picture.
If I remember correctly, TV once said there was a maximum of five responses...or was that the caption thread? :lol
Yeah, (5) replies is the Caption game so we could keep that rule. but I don't think anyone's going to keep a close tally on replies and get ticked if you shoot out a few more than that.
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Can I reply more than once to a scene? This is like a caption with no picture.
If I remember correctly, TV once said there was a maximum of five responses...or was that the caption thread? :lol
Yeah, (5) replies is the Caption game so we could keep that rule. but I don't think anyone's going to keep a close tally on replies and get ticked if you shoot out a few more than that.
Wasn't there a 'scene' once where jingle asked for porn titles that sound like actual movie titles. Coz rattled of like thirteen in one post within minutes of the OP. :lol
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Can I reply more than once to a scene? This is like a caption with no picture.
If I remember correctly, TV once said there was a maximum of five responses...or was that the caption thread? :lol
Yeah, (5) replies is the Caption game so we could keep that rule. but I don't think anyone's going to keep a close tally on replies and get ticked if you shoot out a few more than that.
Wasn't there a 'scene' once where jingle asked for porn titles that sound like actual movie titles. Coz rattled of like thirteen in one post within minutes of the OP. :lol
Yes
To answer the scene...
Well this is awkward. When did you get out of jail, ma?
Looking for the Jergens? Sorry, it's empty.
Jesus ma, the seatbelt light is on. Go back to your seat!
Hands on the wheel, eyes on the road, eh?!
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...and I hurriedly try to close out of her Facebook profile picture...
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It's not going to suck itself.
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No really Mom, it's my biology experiment.
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From now on, you will be called Jingle Boy.
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"I thought I heard you say you needed some wrinkle cream..."
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While there were a few gems to get this thread fired up and going in the right direction
this one:
It's not going to suck itself.
Was a page right out of Chads playbook and the most disturbing.
You're up TAC !
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STANDINGS
jingle.boy 36
gmillerdrake 33
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
MetalJunkie 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
Jarlaxle 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
TAC 1
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Who the hell is Super Star Wars?
So these 4 Mexicans are crossing the border and they are stopped by US Customs. And the US Customs agent is.........Donald Trump.
Go!
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And they grab him by the pussy.
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"How stupid are the people of Iowa?"
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Here's $5 and some Lego ... go build your own fucking wall.
So, what does Sean Hannity's dick actually taste like?
Yo quiero Taco Bell
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No mames guey....
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Where's all the white women?
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Yes, it's a Corolla. What fucking difference does it make!?
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But our tan is natural sir!
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Yes, it's a Corolla. What fucking difference does it make!?
Hey, Jefa, can you point us to Interstate 70. We've got an appointment with Melania.
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We're actually here to keep you from passing south...after the shit you've done up here.
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Yes, it's a Corolla. What fucking difference does it make!?
Hey, Jefa, can you point us to Interstate 70. We've got an appointment with Melania.
And we won't even leave a dent mang!
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You must be little Marcos cousins
Glad you're here, my lawn is looking a bit rough so get to it.
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In the back there... oh, that's just a 31 foot ladder.
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Where's all the white women?
Gregg, you're up!!
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Sweet!
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 36
gmillerdrake 33
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 10
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
MetalJunkie 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
Jarlaxle 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
TAC 1
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
New scene: Unusual vacation plans by a significant other.
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What? We're going to see Dream Theater in Australia?
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Mrs TAC: FFS Tim, let's do something other than Disney.
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Honey look....here's an interesting vacation. You leave for a month to get away an 'unwind' at this resort and they send a young, 24 year old 6'-8"' black man to 'help' around he house while your gone. I've signed you up and even paid for the three week extension.
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Mrs TAC: FFS Tim, let's do something other than Disney.
It's not my wife, it's my kids. This is a timely comment, as we are planning the The TAC Summer Vacation. It kills us that the kids don't want to go to Disney.
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Hey look... Brazzers is opening a theme park. Let's visit Shockville and DP-Land.
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"Pack your bags, Melania. We're going to Mexico."
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Chino - I don't care... anywhere but Avatar-land. And make sure you pack the cone.
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Check this out! Discount round trip flights to Aleppo! "You and your family will have a blast!" Can we go?
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"Pack your bags, Melania. We're going to Mexico."
You're up brownie boy!
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STANDINGS
jingle.boy 36
gmillerdrake 33
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 10
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
Jarlaxle 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
TAC 1
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
You've dressed as Santa Claus to put presents under the tree late at night. Kids just caught you kissing your wife/their mom. What do you say to them?
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Stick around and you'll see your mommy lick a candy cane...
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You should see what the Easter Bunny does with her.
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(https://media.giphy.com/media/IeV5o8uPPq8yA/giphy.gif)
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Milk and cookies are so last year kids.
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Kids, go back to bed while I fill your mom's stocking...
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Let me show you the meaning of 'here cums Santa Claus'....
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Let me show you the meaning of 'here cums Santa Claus'....
Let me show you where "Santa Claus Lane" is...
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No, I ain't hanging the stockings with care. Fuck traditions.
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Let me show you the meaning of 'here cums Santa Claus'....
Sorry I took so long, it's been a busy week. This one's dark and twisted with a decent pun. Winrar.
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coolio. thanks MJ.
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 36
gmillerdrake 34
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 10
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
Jarlaxle 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
TAC 1
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next Scene:
You walk past a construction site where all the workers are wearing nothing but their tool belts and hard hats....your comment(s) or thoughts are?
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Hm. The Village People must be auditioning.
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Brazzers on location?
Man I love female construction crews!
Man I hate female construction crews!
Why is that one wearing a cardigan sweater?
Huh! I thought DisneyLand would've had some kind of policy against this.
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Nice hammer you got there.
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Which one of you guys is Black Floyd?
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(https://media.tenor.co/images/c1d32d363f154ef8433ceb30081fcdb1/tenor.gif)
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That building isn't the only thing they're erecting.
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"Where's Jackie Treehorn? The "Dude" sent me."
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To the black guy: "Now that's a screwdriver!"
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"Anyone not circumcised, Mike Pence would like to have a word."
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To the Asian guy "Now that's an Allen Key!"
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"Screwing around nicely, aren't you?"
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Which one of you guys is Black Floyd?
This one got me :lol You're up :tup
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STANDINGS
jingle.boy 36
gmillerdrake 34
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 10
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
Jarlaxle 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next Scene:
So Tommy Lee brings two chicks back to his room after a Crue show, only to discover that he can't get it up.
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Girls, Girls, Girls, Don't Go Away Mad, You're All I Need. Kickstart My [Cock's] Heart.
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How about a little jump rope instead?
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Clearly this is not the same ol' situation
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Looks like Dr. Feelgood took a day off...
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I can still steer my boat.
Callin Dr Allis! Doctor Ci Allis!
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"Yeah, yeah, I know I told you my name is Tommy Lee. So what if I forgot to mention my last name is Jones?"
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But I took the little blue pill. Wait, why is Keanu Reeves here? Hands off, man.
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And he still fucks them like a boss
"Well ladies, looks like it's gonna be muff diving instead"
Still bigger - and thicker - than "Foreman" Black Floyd.
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Girls, Girls, Girls, Don't Go Away Mad, You're All I Need. Kickstart My [Cock's] Heart.
Bam, right out of the gate. Love the Don't Go Away Mad reference. Great tune BTW.
You're up!
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STANDINGS
jingle.boy 36
gmillerdrake 34
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 10
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Nice! Next Scene:
Dwight Schrute and Donald Trump bump into each other at a bar...
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"Don't touch me you horrid little piece of shit! Don't you know who I am?"
"I'm very sorry, Mr. Schrute"
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Who is Dwight Schrute? No, seriously.
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Who is Dwight Schrute? No, seriously.
Inorite? I had to google it. He's a character from the US version of The Office. Never watched, so I'm out this round.
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Yeah, I didn't know who he was either so I just made shit up. :lol
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:lol okay sorry, I thought he would be more well known. I'll change the scene.
NEW SCENE:
Things your pet says about you when you're out of the house.
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Finally, they are out of my bed
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Cat to the dog: You know, one day he's gonna die and I'm going to eat him.
Dog to the cat: Gross! If you want to take a dump on the carpet, I'll eat it.
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Cat: God, did you hear them having sex again this morning?
Dog: Yeah. Let's go see if they left tissues in the garbage can!
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Dog: You get the blow and I'll call the hookers.
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What shall I wipe my butt on today?
Just once is like him to let me show him how doggy style is REALLY done.
Not a scene... Gregg, it sounds like you're speaking from experience??
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Not a scene... Gregg, it sounds like you're speaking from experience??
His dog eats his cat's shit?
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(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ce/b1/62/ceb1625809661903127df0aaa6daec5c.jpg)
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Not a scene... Gregg, it sounds like you're speaking from experience??
His dog eats his cat's shit?
Chad, all the best comedy is just relating real life.
Tim, of course! All dog's love to eat cat shit.
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Not a scene... Gregg, it sounds like you're speaking from experience??
His dog eats his cat's shit?
Chad, all the best comedy is just relating real life.
Tim, of course! All dog's love to eat cat shit.
My dogs would go into the cats' litter boxes and "clean them".
Back to the "scene"...
I'll never get why he shakes it instead of just licking it.
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Cat: God I thought he'd never leave. Time for a nap.
Dog: I miss him so much. A nap sounds good.
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And when you come back, you better be bringing back my nuts!
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Will I ever find out who's a good boy?
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Finally, I can lick my balls in peace
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Cat: You know I can't get pregnant so fuck away!
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Cat to the dog: You know, one day he's gonna die and I'm going to eat him.
Dog to the cat: Gross! If you want to take a dump on the carpet, I'll eat it.
:lol Winner! This made me laugh quite heartily.
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Thanks, man. I just have to give a little shout out though.
Will I ever find out who's a good boy?
:clap: I kept thinking about this all day yesterday and every time I did I'd giggle helplessly for a few minutes.
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 36
gmillerdrake 34
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next scene: Complaints at the reception desk of Discount Plastic Surgery.
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Cat: God I thought he'd never leave. Time for a nap.
Dog: I miss him so much. A nap sounds good.
This is the one I liked.
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I don't know why my optometrist sent me here. I just said I wanted my specs changed and he referred me to you guys.
Well, ma'am, we had to do *something* with Michael Jackson's nose...
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Customer. When I asked about the "Nose job down below", I didn't expect a consult from Ephraim, your mohel-in-training.
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You: you know those Mr. Potato heads?
Surgeon: say no more.
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Receptionist to Blonde: "Miss...Please go wash your hands...when we told you to 'pick your nose', that's not what we meant."
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Your buy one get one free offer doesn't state I can't put a second pair of breasts somewhere!
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Customer. When I asked about the "Nose job down below", I didn't expect a consult from Ephraim, your mohel-in-training.
Bonus points for the call back! :lol
You vin, sonny boi.
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:takesbow:
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 37
gmillerdrake 34
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next Scene: You're the one that programs the flashing road signs on the highway. You're about to quit in a blaze of glory. What is your final message to the daily commuters?
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Caution in the left lane ahead! Woman corn-holed by three Mexicans in a Toyota micro bus without leaving a mark.
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Go fuck yourself San Diego
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Armed men have hijacked the highway next 5 miles.
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This week only: Free one month all access pass to Brazzers when you call [bosses phone number]!
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One foot on the break, and one on the gas....this fuc%ing job can kiss my a$$!
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Call (give # to BMV) for free blow job
Eat my ass and balls!
Slow the fuck down asshole!
The reason you drive a pickup is because you have a little dick.
On 3, kill the Prius drivers...1-2-
Honk if you shave your pussy.
Extreme Danger: Child serial killer in the white car.
-
Caution: Douchebag Crossing Ahead
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One foot on the break, and one on the gas....this fuc%ing job can kiss my a$$!
This got the biggest laugh. You're up gmil
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Thank you kind Sir :tup
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 37
gmillerdrake 35
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next Scene: The office 'hottie' catches you staring lustfully at her as she bends over to get something out of the break room refrigerator....you quickly utter.....what?
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Are those your melons or mine?
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Can I have some?
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I have some mayo if you need it.
-
Since this on Whose Line is as much a visual game as it is a statement, I offer the following:
(https://img.pandawhale.com/post-42397-vince-vaughn-motorboat-gif-Img-3hD0.gif)
(https://replygif.net/i/1452.gif)
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(https://replygif.net/i/1452.gif)
I didn't know Prog Snob liked bowling.
-
The only reason I'd ever kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of super children.
You don't by any chance have a roommate that like served in Viet Nam, do you? :biggrin:
Well...since I'm obviously now headed to HR, wanna fuck?
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Sorry, but it stared at me first
-
Sure is cold in here.
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The only reason I'd ever kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of super children.
You don't by any chance have a roommate that like served in Viet Nam, do you? :biggrin:
Well...since I'm obviously now headed to HR, wanna fuck?
:spitcoffee: Winner.....all of them :lol you're up TV!
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Thanks Gary!
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 37
gmillerdrake 35
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next Scene: Things on Donald Trumps search engine.
-
What's more huge than huge?
-
"Donald Trump's net worth."
"Who is benghazi?"
"13 drills to groove your putting stroke this weekend."
-
Is hand size really correlated with penis length?
Is bigly a word?
Donald Trump approval rating
Images.google.com - naked Putin pics
-
"Ivanka Trump nude images" followed by "countries where incest is legal" followed by "Eric Trump nude images"
-
Father of all bombs
Kim Jong Un address
sean hannity pics
sean hannity pecs
-
Is hand size really correlated with penis length?
Is bigly a word?
Donald Trump approval rating
Images.google.com - naked Putin pics
There were several that made me laugh...But all of these take it. Nicely done Snow Dog. Welcome to the winners circle. You're up!
-
Excellent. Thank you!
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 37
gmillerdrake 35
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Snow Dog 1
Next scene: Things you can say about your vehicle that you can't about your woman.
-
I pay professionals to perform routine service.
-
Yeah we we're late because she blew a tranny in Charlotte
-
She looks great on the surface but when you get under the hood it's nothing but random leaks and rough rides
-
<awaits re-use of the corn-holed Corolla, though Coz has license on it>
She sure can haul ass.
I really wanted the compact, but ended up settling on the full-sized.
Sure the monthly payments are thru the roof - it's a good thing that my dad, brother and both sisters can make good use of her.
At her age, when the top is down, it's actually quite embarrassing.
I put her away in storage for the winter, and never take her out in bad weather.
It's a little tight in the back, but most of my buddies aren't that big anyway.
-
Well, it worked for me before, so:
Last winter, three Mexicans in a Toyota cornholed her on the interstate and barely left a mark.
-
I just bought her.
She's only five years old.
She may be old but she's made a lot of money for me. I almost hate to trade her in for a newer one.
I've had to eat a lot of Top Ramen to be able to afford her.
I hate that I chose black. I just can't keep her clean!
Don't laugh, Buddy. That sucker's turbocharged.
It's not the years that wore her down. It's the mileage.
-
Once she gets to top speed....she gets real shaky and makes all sorts of crazy noises....then BOOM.....fluid everywhere....
-
Sure, she has a stick which can be a surprise but once you play with it for a little bit it actually is quite fun.
-
Well, it worked for me before, so:
Last winter, three Mexicans in a Toyota cornholed her on the interstate and barely left a mark.
Son-of-a... I coulda swore it was Coz that dropped that one - I got mixed up because it was his topic. :blush
BTW, best 'scene' ever. Ever.
Oh that? Don't worry, it makes those noises every once and a while. It's not the sound that catches you off guard ... it's the smell.
-
Well, it worked for me before, so:
Last winter, three Mexicans in a Toyota cornholed her on the interstate and barely left a mark.
Son-of-a... I coulda swore it was Coz that dropped that one - I got mixed up because it was his topic. :blush
That's kinda what I figured. No worries.
-
When she starts making any kind of noise, I just turn the radio up so I don't have to hear it.
-
To be honest I prefer riding my bike thesedays.
I call her Carlett Johansson.
My Dad got me her for my 18th birthday.
Ah shit, locked my keys inside her again.
Think its time for a wax.
-
At her age, when the top is down, it's actually quite embarrassing.
Some really good ones this round, but one got me good. You're up, jingle!
-
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 38
gmillerdrake 35
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Snow Dog 1
Today's Scene:
You're an HR Manager. Finish the one sentence return letter "Thank you for submitting your application, however .... "
-
"...we must reject hiring you because you give us the creeps, you gender confused, racially ambiguous, fucking retard."
-
"Says here you're Canadian.....and we just 'do' Canadian"
-
"...we must reject hiring you because you give us the creeps, you gender confused, racially ambiguous, fucking retard."
Signed,
The White House
-
"we will not be able, or willing, to publish your editorial poetry at this time. The staffing members that reviewed your tripe are seriously considering legal action against you and your word processor for wasting our time. "Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at THESE" is not considered poetry, nor is "My heart fills with sorrow, like the height of Kilimanjaro."
Sincerely considering legal action or suicide,
The Wall Street Journal
-
"...we will not be considering you now, or in the future, for any position with our firm. Considering the extraordinary number of applications we receive each day, we typically do not respond with rejection letters of this kind. However, in your case we decided to make an exception. A couple of points that we feel may help you in the future when trying to seek gainful employment are noted as follows:
1. We do not consider Amazon feedback to be a reliable example of "critical thinking".
2. We do not now, or in the future expect to hire someone who can "make strawberry Quick for the entire office".
3. eBay feedback is not a relevant reference.
4. Likewise, "the people at DTF can vouch for me" shouldn't be considered either.
5. During the gaps of employment on your resume, it doesn't fool anyone when you say, "I was a secret spy, and am prevented by law of discussing this period in my life."
6. Your "DTF post count" is not considered an acceptable measureable accomplishment.
7. On our application when we ask "What are you most proud of?" we are actually referencing career accomplishments. "My dick girth", is not an acceptable answer on so many levels.
We wish you the best in all of your future endeavors and suggest that perhaps a job at Subway, or maybe even an enlistment in the French Foreign Legion might prove to be a better fit for you.
Regards, HR"
-
"...even we here at Brazzers have a reputation to uphold, and thus, will not be hiring you, as nobody fantasizes about a Donald Trump/Rosie O'Donnell scene as you suggest."
-
Thank you for submitting your application, however ....Zack, we here at DC Comics would like to try and make a good movie this time.
--
Thank you for submitting your application, however ....we feel that to be a Ms World Judge "My Dick" is not a suitable answer to "What do you look for in the models".
--
Thank you for submitting your application, however ....after very briefly glancing at a one of the pictures you included, I feel you aren't playmate material.
PS Apologies for the vomit stain, I accidentally glanced again.
--
Thank you for submitting your application, however ....being pig ugly is not a proper mutation and more likely caused by bad genes, so sadly we will have to reject your application for becoming an X-Men.
Your Sincerely,
Professor Charles Xavier
--
-
4. Likewise, "the people at DTF can vouch for me" shouldn't be considered either.
6. Your "DTF post count" is not considered an acceptable measureable accomplishment.
I beg to differ. However, your 7-for-1 submission takes it.
-
"...we will not be considering you now, or in the future, for any position with our firm. Considering the extraordinary number of applications we receive each day, we typically do not respond with rejection letters of this kind. However, in your case we decided to make an exception. A couple of points that we feel may help you in the future when trying to seek gainful employment are noted as follows:
1. We do not consider Amazon feedback to be a reliable example of "critical thinking".
2. We do not now, or in the future expect to hire someone who can "make strawberry Quick for the entire office".
3. eBay feedback is not a relevant reference.
4. Likewise, "the people at DTF can vouch for me" shouldn't be considered either.
5. During the gaps of employment on your resume, it doesn't fool anyone when you say, "I was a secret spy, and am prevented by law of discussing this period in my life."
6. Your "DTF post count" is not considered an acceptable measureable accomplishment.
7. On our application when we ask "What are you most proud of?" we are actually referencing career accomplishments. "My dick girth", is not an acceptable answer on so many levels.
We wish you the best in all of your future endeavors and suggest that perhaps a job at Subway, or maybe even an enlistment in the French Foreign Legion might prove to be a better fit for you.
Regards, HR"
:clap: Yep. This wins. This wins everything.
-
Wow! Muchos gracias...and sorry for the delay...
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 38
gmillerdrake 35
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 6
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Snow Dog 1
Today's Scene:
Bad first drafts of famous movie lines
-
"Frankly, you wretched, soulless cunt, I give precisely zero fucks..."
"We'll always have Sheboygan."
-
Luke... who's your daddy?
Mama always said life is like a box of liquorice - no one likes black
Jesus Christ, what's that smell? Napalm?? We gotta wake up to fucking napalm?
And Ryan, careful what you shoot at - there are nuclear fucking warheads in there!
-
I think we will require a larger ocean going vessel.
You've Got To Ask Yourself One Question: 'Do I Feel lucky?' Well, Do Ya, Ruffian?
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a Jean-Claude.
I'm KING of the Wooooooooooorlddddddd *SPLASH
-
"GOOOOOOD MORNING LLANFAIRPWLLGWYNGYLLGOGERYCHWYRNDROBWLLLLANTISILIOGOGOGOOOOOOOCH!!!"
-
I'm going to make him an offer he probably will refuse
-
You want the truth? You could probably handle the truth with a detailed five minute conversation.
-
Toto, where the fuck are we?
That's not a fake orgasm; This is a fake orgasm....
-
"ENGLISH, DOO-DOO HEAD, DO YOU SPEAK IT!"
-
You... complete me. Now how 'bout completing a blowie for once?
It's not a tumor you little shit.
-
Bitch, put the fuckin lotion on before I hose you down again like Rosa Parks gettin off a bus.
-
You want the truth? You could probably handle the truth with a detailed five minute conversation.
Did you order the Code Pink?
-
Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty Hominoidea!
-
Come out to the Coast......we'll get together.......get liquored up and find three Mexicans to cornhole.
-
Who ya gonna call? Ball Busters.
-
I am sick of all these mother fucking passengers on this mother fucking plane.
-
"Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. Today is that day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of Men comes crashing down! TODAY, is that day. I mean seriously, look at all those mother fucking orcs and Nazgul!"
-
They may take away our lives, but they'll never take our whiskey!
-
I'm going to make him an offer he probably will refuse
Nicely done. Tough round, but you're up!
-
Oh gee, sorry guys.
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 38
gmillerdrake 35
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Mister Gold 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Snow Dog 1
Today's scene:
Rejected first titles of well known books
-
The Red Kilometer
-
Soon You Will All Be My Willing Thralls!
Chapter 1
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
ed: I like where you're going with this, but don't you think the title could be a bit more subtle?
-
The autobiography:
Ace Frehley: I Was Too Fucked Up, I Actually Don't Remember Anything.
-
Moby Cock
-
Left Fielder in the Grain
-
A Tale of Two Titties
-
Fifty Shades Of Yellow
-
The Lord of the Rim, a trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien
Book 1: Friendship is Magic
Book 2: Evil Twins
Book 3: Aragorn cried out, "Don't Call it a Comeback- I've been here for years! (https://youtu.be/d3UfpG5zB9M?t=9)"
-
War and Getting Ready for War
-
The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe Malfunction
William Shakespeare's Beeflet
-
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Artist Formerly Known as Prince.
-
The Lord of the Rim, a trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien
Book 1: Friendship is Magic
Book 2: Evil Twins
Book 3: Aragorn cried out, "Don't Call it a Comeback- I've been here for years! (https://youtu.be/d3UfpG5zB9M?t=9)"
Winner
-
The Lord of the Rim, a trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien
Book 1: Friendship is Magic
Book 2: Evil Twins
Book 3: Aragorn cried out, "Don't Call it a Comeback- I've been here for years! (https://youtu.be/d3UfpG5zB9M?t=9)"
Winner
Oh boy... :omg: Not gonna lie, feels great to be back at this!! :metal
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 38
gmillerdrake 35
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
TheSilentHam 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Snow Dog 1
Today's scene: "If classic movies had nude scenes..."
-
Given that this is a 10 inch steel cock with a 6 inch barrel that'll cumshot your head clean off, you have to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?
-
Frankly my dear, I don't care for your finger in my sphincter.
Luke... Who's your daddy?
-
Here's looking at you, kid...... all of you.
-
Well, let's not start suckin each others' dick's just yet. Seriously, not just yet... in 10 minutes or so.
-
Well, let's not start suckin each others' dick's just yet. Seriously, not just yet... in 10 minutes or so.
Jungle Boy, this is the Scenes thread, NOT the Chat thread. ;D
-
What do you mean I'm a funny guy? Like, my penis? It looks funny to you? Funny how? What's funny about it?
(https://i.imgflip.com/1ostn9.jpg)
-
How long should I keep this round going?
I was planning on calling it in another twelve hours or so, if that works for everyone?
-
Here's looking at you, kid...... all of you.
Due to some off-line circumstances, I had to cut it off a few hours early, but this is the winner. :lol
-
Thank you Mr. Mister
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 38
gmillerdrake 35
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TheSilentHam 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Snow Dog 1
Today's scene: Rejected Sith Lord names (yay Star Wars)
-
Lord Smallsack
-
Darth Dilldow
Darth Tuamirikah
-
Darth Schwartz
Lord Nefaryus
Stewie
TAC
-
Darth Cunnilingist
-
Lord Diz-kni
Darth Foreplay
Sheev Palpatine
-
Lord HaavMercie
-
Darth Syde Uv-theMoon
-
Darth Chocula
Lord Dookie
Darth Mandfrinjinsinmonson
-
Lord Leeroy Jenkins
-
Darth Schnukims
-
Doug
-
Darth Binks
Little Orphan Anni
-
That round really fun. Many worthy entries, but this one got to me the most!
Lord Leeroy Jenkins
-
TAC
:lol
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/bb/4c/f0/bb4cf061039bfdce593ee62f2e0ceb42.jpg)
-
Cool! Thanks.....
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 38
gmillerdrake 36
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TheSilentHam 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Snow Dog 1
Today's scene:
By sheer luck you come face to face with the Queen of England....what do you say/do?
-
Please never die. I don't think I could bear seeing the throne handed to Chuck and Seabiscuit.
Is Phillip really hung like a Shetland Pony?
-
"You'll take my life but I'll take yours too
You'll fire your musket but I'll run you through
So when you're waiting for the next attack
You'd better stand there's no turning back
The bugle sounds as the charge begins
But on this battlefield no one wins
The smell of acrid smoke and horses breath
As you plunge into a certain death
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh"
-
So... do you trim the hedges?
Kill any Krauts in your time?
-
Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?
-
MP or MM?
-
"So did Bond try to seduce you too when he acted as your bodyguard at the 2012 Olympics?"
-
Send nudes... *wink*
-
So Brian what was Freddy really like in person?
-
Need a couple more....I'll give it another afternoon.....
-
Monty Python sucks.
-
Kill any Krauts in your time?
I'm curious as to what she'd honestly answer.....you're up!!!
-
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 39
gmillerdrake 36
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TheSilentHam 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Snow Dog 1
Today's scene:
Inappropriate crayon names/colors
-
Pussy Pink
-
Purple Prick
-
Shit Stain Brown
-
Menstrual Maroon
-
Yeast Infection Yellow
-
France Flag White
-
Ovarian Orange
Semen Silver
Prude Date Blue
-
Penis Peach
-
Cleveland Brown
Gan Green
Who You Blue
-
gmillerdrake is hogging the crayons.
-
gmillerdrake is hogging the crayons.
:yarr
Silver Tears of TAC
-
St. Louis Blue
Can't get past the second page of the coloring book.
;D
-
St. Louis Blue
Can't get past the second page of the coloring book.
;D
:rollin
I think you might have just won that round
-
:metal
-
:metal
I mean....it's still up to Chad and all....but that was a dang fine crayon color
-
Klu Klux Krayons - 24 shades of perfect white.
Statutory Grape.
Monthly Red.
-
Man-Thong Black
-
Nice round guys. Lots of lolz. But before I announce the winner, I have to offer a few of my own submissions:
Alt-right White
Black Lives Matter
POTUS Orange
Let's get Soupy on the board with
Klu Klux Krayons - 24 shades of perfect white.
Although, Who You Blue was a damn fine entry as well.
-
Cheers buddy.
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 39
gmillerdrake 36
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TheSilentHam 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Snow Dog 1
Soupytwist 1
Today's scene should you chose to accept it :
You get a phone call from this guy who thinks you are best mates (you can't stand him). He's needs a favour, it's his Mum's birthday today and he's forgotten to buy a present, he's stuck at work till after the shops shut. So he wants you to buy the present for him and drop it round her house - with no more that $50 to be spent. So what totally inappropriate gift do you get her (from her son)?
-
Anal beads
-
A dildo that glows in the dark.
-
A Mason Jar full of goat Semen and a a Sleeve of wheat thins
-
Lingerie three sizes too small, a sympathy card, Oil of Olay anti aging product, a six pack of vanilla Slim Fast, and a Walmart gift card with the remaining $5.
-
One year membership to the jelly of the month club.
-
President Donald J. Trump in a gimp suit, with a single rose resting on the bed.
-
Zydar's phone number
-
Lots of good sick answers, but this one got me most....
A Mason Jar full of goat Semen and a a Sleeve of wheat thins
-
well thanks! That was a shot in the dark....
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 39
gmillerdrake 37
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TheSilentHam 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Snow Dog 1
Soupytwist 1
Next Scene:
You walk in on your son/daughters "first time" and say.....?
-
"Cameron! Get off your sister!"
Oh, you meant son *or* daughter... My bad...
-
"OK, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker going here! Two down, nobody on, no score, bottom of the ninth- There's the windup, and there it is! A line shot up the middle, look at him go. This boy can really fly! He's rounding first and really turning it on now, he's not letting up at all... He's gonna try for second, the ball is bobbled out in center. And here comes the throw, and what a throw! He's gonna slide in head first- here he comes, he's out! No, wait, safe-safe at second base, this kid really makes things happen out there. Batter steps up to the plate, here's the pitch-he's going and what a jump he's got... he's trying for third. Here's the throw, it's in the dirt-safe at third! Holy cow, stolen base! He's taking a pretty big lead out there, almost daring him to try and pick him off. The pitcher glances over, winds up... and it's bunted, bunted down the third base line, the suicide squeeze is on! Here he comes, squeeze play, it's gonna be close- Holy cow, I think he's gonna make it!!!"
:biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
-
STOP RIGHT THERE!
-
Just an FYI....this scene was inspired by real life events. My mother walked in on me and my GF during my first time. :omg: It's something that you just never forget.....
-
Just an FYI....this scene was inspired by real life events. My mother walked in on me and my GF during my first time. :omg: It's something that you just never forget.....
Surely embarrassing for any 25 y/o. ;D
-
Rubber check!
-
"Is there anything I can get for you kids? Some snacks? Condoms, maybe?"
-
Does somebody need a hug??
<in a Fire Marshall Bill voice> LET ME SHOW YA SOMETHIN!!
-
"HEY KIDS, WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY?!" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51DjxGrnZzE)
-
"No no no, son, you're doing it all wrong. Let me show you how it's done..."
-
"Oh, hey, what a coincidence! That's the same bed your mother and I conceived you in!"
-
start singing the "Circle of Life"
-
I think you two need an illustrated manual.
-
"Young lady, he has Hep C!!!.....Hi C...I meant Hi C. Would you like me to pour you a glass?"
-
"Fucking great....now I'M the "Viet Nam Vet Guy"'
-
OMG the Vietnam Vet story!!!!
"Honey, what are you and our son doing?"
-
And above all else, if you use multiple points of entry, remember that the order of operations is very important.
SHOCKER!!!!
Huh... you don't see a rooster used like that every day.
I guess I'll add tupperware to the shopping list.
-
"Well then... Um, uh.... Welcome to the family, Veronica. I'll just go ahead and leave n- ohgodsonyoudidn'tevenuseacondomareyouinsane- {cough} ... Excuse me, I'll just go ahead and buy you guys the pregnancy test things for you, just in case!"
-
"Cameron! Get off your sister!"
This one got me out of the gate.....you're up!
-
Awesome. Thank you!
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 39
gmillerdrake 37
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Podaar 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TheSilentHam 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Soupytwist 1
Next: How to ruin a date in five words.
-
"Uhhhh... aren't you my sister?"
"So what's that ring for?"
-
Hi, my name is Zydar.
-
What time-frame is considered 'premature'?
-
I once met Chris Hansen
I think I smell massengill
Look! Anal beads on sale.
Ever discuss politics with Stadler?
This one time... at bandcamp
-
Do you like butt stuff?
You look like my mom!
Be right back, gotta poop.
-
Please trim your window hedges
-
I really love Dream Theater.
Gas Station nachos sound good?
-
This look infected to you?
-
But your sister enjoyed swallowing?
-
Does this smell like chloroform?
-
Can I smell your pussy?
...or is that your feet?
-
It's not "technically" considered Herpes
-
My therapist made me come.
-
Can I smell your pussy?
...or is that your feet?
Biggest laugh out of many good entries. You're up!
-
That's a surprise. Lots of great contributions.
Thanks SD,
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 39
gmillerdrake 37
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Podaar 12
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TheSilentHam 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Soupytwist 1
I had a root canal yesterday and the Endodontist kept asking the assistant for different weird sounding things. Thus, your scene is:
Wrong, terrible, or scary products your doctor or dentist asks for.
-
Debra, can you pass me the beano?
Where's the wahibridopickingant?
-
Hand me the 8" forcep....we're gonna have to probe anally....
-
prep the urethral drill
-
Go ahead and tide the HIV positive blood for transfusion
-
Son, I don't know what this is, but I'm gonna use it somewhere on you. Now breathe deep and start counting backwards.
And here's your string of anal beads.
Eeere!!!
-
"Take a deep, looong breath, little Billy, I'm gonna have to shove this big black plastic thing up and down your throat for a few minutes to clear ou- hey Anny, do you have any lubricants we can put on this before we go to town with this thing?"
-
Another case of "Know your audience"? As a prostate patient (well, I don't have one anymore) who's had to see a Urologist way too much in recent years, this one horrified me and made me guffaw nervously.
prep the urethral drill
You're up, bacon-boy!
-
Thanks buddy! That was a painful round!
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 39
gmillerdrake 37
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Podaar 12
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
TheSilentHam 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Soupytwist 1
New Scene:
Rejected Disney princesses and their sidekick... (I'm watching Moana at the moment)
-
Eva Braun and little Miss brown skirt.
-
Gay Uncle Tom and his Peanut Butter loving Labrador, Luey
-
Elizabeth Warren and her 1/2 Hobbit / 1/2 Elf, Jeffrey Sessions
-
Sarah Palin and her adorable moose, Cara Boo
-
Princess Zydar and his talking sunglasses named Shades.
-
Princess Shmegland and Blob
Princess Kotow and Boy
-
Princess Kellyanne and her lazy beaver, Chaffetz
Little Princess Lizzy and her wise-cracking hatchet.
Princess Caitlyn and her confused driver's license.
-
Princess Flatu, and her skunk Lents.
Little Princess Lizzy and her wise-cracking hatchet.
Shouldn't that be Princess Molly?
-
Little Princess Lizzy and her wise-cracking hatchet.
Shouldn't that be Princess Molly?
That completely depends on which side of the Mason Dixon line one lives. Since I don't live on the south side of it, I try to ignore the existence of Molly Hatchet. *shudders*
-
Good one, y'all go there..
This one got me right away
Eva Braun and little Miss brown skirt.
-
I don't know if I should be concerned or pleased that we both thought that was funny! :biggrin:
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 39
gmillerdrake 37
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Podaar 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
TheSilentHam 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Soupytwist 1
New Scene:
Scenes from Archie Comics gritty reboot... Probably too obscure, let's try a different one.
Strange sentences to follow, "I'm not a scientist..."
-
...but if you put my penis in your mouth, you can cause an eruption.
-
.....but I'm pretty sure Anal Warts and Herpes will follow soon after.
-
... but I'm glad that Podaar changed this fucking topic.
... but you aren't going to get laid with that bitch-of-an-attitude.
... but it looks like diarrhea is striking you right now.
... but I know that three rights make a left.
... but Betsy DeVos is 10 pounds of stupid in a 5 pound bag.
-
... but damnit Jim, he's dead.
-
.....but I'm fairly certain what those three men of Mexican descent are doing to your wife is considered a 'cornhole'
-
... I'm a political scientist. My name is Stadler.
... I'm Scott Pruitt.
... that's why I'm employed.
-
but I'm pretty sure the theory of relativity has nothing to do with marrying your sister.
-
...but I'm pretty sure Menstrual blood isn't a element on the periodic table.
...so i'll just explain this away as a Timey Wimey stuff.
...but at least I can talk and walk properly, Mr Hawkings.
...Really Denise? I'm shocked, your portrayal of Christmas Jones was so realistic!
...but Yeah Bitch! Magnets!
-
... However I'm pretty sure that "covfefe" isn't a real word, Mr. President.
-
I'm not a scientist... and Jingle's not a comedian. Here's to keeping our day jobs! :)
I'm not a scientist... but I know whahibro pickingant when I see it!
-
...but it ain't going to suck itself.
-
Great answers. Going Jesse was absolutely brilliant. :rollin
...but Yeah Bitch! Magnets!
You're up, Chuck!
-
I'm not a scientist... and Jingle's not a comedian. Here's to keeping our day jobs! :)
:clap:
-
Cheers Podaar.
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 39
gmillerdrake 37
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Podaar 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
TheSilentHam 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Soupytwist 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Simple one this...
Inappropriate Superhero/heroine name and their equally inappropriate super power.
Go..
-
Backdoor-Man and his Spit-gob of Lubrication.
Mighty Sanchez and his Shocker of Paralyzation.
The Amazing Racist with her Hijab of Other Detection.
Flesh Gordon and his Power Pasties.
-
Super Tea Bloke - his special power is the "Sonic Tea Bag" whereby one dip of his empowered Cobblers Awls will render his target speechless, unable to eat, and rather embarrassed. His "Kryptonite" is that he can not help but stop crime fighting completely twice a day for elevenses and afternoon tea.
-
Splat Man -- Can crap all over you in a single bound!
-
Covfefe, and his ability to stun, disorient, and confuse the fuck out of everyone.
Tiny Hands, and his ability to fist you by the balls - from the inside.
Hilary, and her emails.
Flatulence Boy... can clear a room in a matter of seconds.
-
Dingleberry Man! His skidmarks are legendary!
-
Bus-station Pest with his uncomfortable leer and revealing trench-coat.
-
Kotowboy! A sidekick that will annoy you in a single post!
-
Tube Chatter! Renders his opponents petrified with horror by means of a welcoming smile.
-
Loudness Man! Will stun you into submission with a constant barrage of brickwalled, overcompressed noise! And has the waveforms to prove it!
-
Journalism Boy ... he's fake.
-
Menstruatia, drowning her adversaries that trigger her angry, violent PMS in a bloody deluge.
Cunnilingirl and her magic vibrating tongue.
-
Bosk, and his Ban "hammer".
-
Sir Urkel and his powers of ineptitude!
-
Sir Cena of York and his SUUUUUUPPPEEERRRR SLAAAAMMMM
-
Homeless Man! Fighting crime with his Magic Shopping Cart, every day on 7th and Vine from 4-6PM (and behind Starbucks on Saturday mornings).
-
Lots of great answers, but this...
Bus-station Pest with his uncomfortable leer and revealing trench-coat.
...got me some strange looks at works as I tried to 'not' laugh and nearly choked. So winner.
-
Sorry for the delay. I was drunk in Vegas and running away from an angry hooker during this announcement.
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 39
gmillerdrake 37
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Podaar 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
TheSilentHam 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Soupytwist 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
New scene: Unexpected things that James Comey will reveal to congress.
Go...
-
Milenia has an incredibly hairy bush.
Sally Yates is a beast in bed.
There actually is a rich prince in Tanzania that needs to get his money out.
Mitch McConnell actually *is* a 600 year old turtle.
We hacked Brexit.
-
He'll tell the truth
-
Obama was born in Quebec
-
Everything Alex Jones says is true.
My online handle is Tempus Vox.
-
Trump is a 1/4 Pumpkin.
-
Trumps orange color is due to the effects of countless irretrievable carrots that he's jammed up his a$$ over the years
-
You know this is one long episode of Punk'd, right, and Ashton will do the big reveal just before Trump launches the nukes
-
Eric Trump isn't even human.
Every single member of the Cabinet stays at a Holiday Inn Express when they travel - hell, Betsy DeVos and Scott Pruitt live there!
-
"And here is the true origin of Vlasto Day..."
-
He's called 857-5309 and talked to Jenny.
-
Trump's "mixtape" is just the sound of him getting excited over two Russian hookers taking a piss on a bed that the Obamas slept on a few years back.
-
The Truth is Out There.
Trump thinks the Islamic State is somewhere between New Hampshire and Vermont.
Says the FBI have a video of Trump and Palin cosplaying as The Joker and Harley Quinn, in which Trump is Harley.
-
He's called 857-5309 and talked to Jenny.
Not Jenny's number.
-
He's called 857-5309 and talked to Jenny.
Not Jenny's number.
:lol Only King would get Jenny's number wrong! :lol
-
He's called 857-5309 and talked to Jenny.
Not Jenny's number.
:lol Only King would get Jenny's number wrong! :lol
Only King could mis-spell a number!
P.S. Blob... you gotta sig that one too!
-
...the "humor" on DTF is all written by 400 monkeys in a room with 400 typewriters.
...David Lee Roth IS in fact the better singer for Van Halen.
-
My online handle is Tempus Vox.
This one got me. You're up, JB.
-
Thanks... Will post a new scene later.
-
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 40
gmillerdrake 37
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Podaar 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
TheSilentHam 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Soupytwist 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Today's scene.
Things you'd love to say out-loud at work
-
I've never wanted to be a skirt so badly in my life
TIc Tacs....buy some and take two every hour
-
As a physical therapist:
"I haven't seen you in a month since your evaluation, you haven't done your exercises I gave you, you're still overdoing the activities that cause your symptoms, but it's my fault you're still in pain. Got it."
"I asked how your shoulder was doing, not your knees, neck, back, hips, spleen, and especially not your acute diarrhea."
-
I want to DDT all of you employees.
-
YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT.
-
CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!
Only the Fogeys will remember that.
-
If vasectomies were required for certain people, you'd be my first nominee.
-
You are so useless, the worker gene ran down your mother's leg.
-
"Excuse me, what aisle is the milk in?"
"Ma'am, it's in Aisle number I Don't Give A Fuck."
-
I'm not being dismissive. Your opinion just really, really doesn't matter.
-
YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT.
I'm gonna go with this piece of blunt force honesty.
-
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 40
gmillerdrake 37
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Podaar 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
TheSilentHam 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Soupytwist 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
I think my favorite band just jumped the shark. Their new album is called...
-
Jumping the Shark
You Just Wasted $15 - Featuring guest singer Meghan Trainor
The Astonishing
-
The Astonishing
:clap:
-
Dynasty
-
Wahibrido Pickingant
-
Greatest Shits.
-
New Album
-
NOW That's what I call Death Metal
-
Free Tits and Bacon
-
In The Heart of the Young
Sharkocalypse
-
Yup, I'm only Seventeen.
Meow meow meow meow, Meow meow meow meow, Meow meow meow meow, Meow meow meow meow.
You're so stupid, you'll still enjoy this tripe
-
My online handle is Tempus Vox.
This one got me. You're up, JB.
Damnit! Now everyone knows....
-
Bruce Springsteen...More Working Class Songs To Blow Your Brains Out To...
KISS...The SPANX Tour : Live
Queen featuring Lil Wayne
-
Dynasty
This one cuts close to the bone, but I still had to laugh... you're up.
-
This one cuts close to the bone, but I still had to laugh... you're up.
Thank you! I knew that would hurt a little :laugh: and confession: I was in grade school when it was released, and just loved it at the time. I must have been in the target demo.
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 40
gmillerdrake 37
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Podaar 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
TheSilentHam 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Soupytwist 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
Scene:
An unusual message to receive from your dry cleaner
-
Surprisingly, hot water and soap removed the Horse Semen from your lapel pretty well
-
Judging from the receipt you left in your pocket, you were at the Farmer's Market on Elm & Main when diarrhea did indeed strike
-
"Your wife's v-neck t-shirts are ready, Mr. Crowell."
-
"Sir, your wife's dress was ruined because we found these XL condoms in the pocket"
-
"Sir, your wife's dress was ruined because we found these XL condoms in the pocket"
Yeah, about that .... I hope we can still be friends, Tim.
-
To save you money, we didn't bother cleaning this suit, Mr. Ham. No one would actually wear polyester with four buttons.
-
You're tax return has been submitted.
That's the first time we've seen that color stain in that area of a pair pants. But, we got it out.
Oh yeah... right there... that's the spot... baaabyyy!!!! Ohmagod, OHMAGOD.... OHMA FUCKING GOD!!!! <sigh> You're clothes are going to take a little longer than expected.
Asparagus for dinner last night?
-
Sorry Mr Trump, no matter what we did everything still came out orange.
I hate to ask this....but did you own a pet Hamster, and if so has it erm recently gone missing?
Your tent is ready....oh wait it's NOT a tent? It's your dinner jacket!? Wow......
Dear Mr P. Parker your costume is now ready. However can I ask you take the web shooters off next time please, the inside of our machine now reminds me of my wife when she came back from that bukake party.
Your clothes are shit, but at least they are now clean.
-
Come on, Bill. Not again.
-
This is the 80s calling. Ma'am, we graciously took back your four pastel blazers with the shoulder pads in them. No charge. Joan Rivers loves them! Have a blessed day.
-
Not need pick up crothes. Rint caught fire. Buirding gone.
-
You have a collect call for Mrs Floyd from Mr Floyd. Will you accept the charges from the United States?
-
This was so wong, it was right. Winner!
Not need pick up crothes. Rint caught fire. Buirding gone.
-
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 40
gmillerdrake 37
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
TheSilentHam 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Soupytwist 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
Scene:
Things you DON'T want to be heard saying when the loud music stops at a party.
-
I just had an enema.
-
I wish they'd play some Winger!
-
....and so I prefer it in the Butt.....
-
That girl over there is such a bitch, but I'd fuck her anyway.
-
I'd bang his wife 7 days a week, and twice on Sundays.
What am I, flypaper for assholes?
LEEROOOYYYY JENKINS!!!!
<And just for Tim>
17? She's old enough for me.
<and this statement is getting incredibly more disturbing with each passing day, as jingle.daughter turns 17 in August>
-
...yeah, so hoping to make Imperial Wizard next year...
-
The KKK is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Trump for 2020!!
Hilary for 2020!!!
-
Prog Metal is really the only genre of music worth listening too!
-
"I'm actually a cop."
"I own all of Nickelback's albums."
-
Michael Bay is a film-making genius!
Tempus Vox is a hack of an author.
-
I laughed hard at both of these because they're both something that you could say in the middle of a normal conversation but be taken the wrong way when the music stops.
....and so I prefer it in the Butt.....
...yeah, so hoping to make Imperial Wizard next year...
I'm going to give the victory to Gary, though. I could see myself talking about Flu Vaccines and not liking how my arm is sore for a week after...and so [music stops]
You're up, dude.
-
Thanks Gregg :tup
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 40
gmillerdrake 38
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
TheSilentHam 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Soupytwist 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
Scene:
"Unfortunate" nicknames for elementary school aged children....
-
Pant Stain Stan
Big Boobs Betty
Hungry Hungry Hannah
BJ (for Betty Jean)
-
2 real stories, at least I heard them from people I trust.
1) A kid named Andrew Peacock. Shorten his first name and he becomes Drew. Drew Peacock.
2) A kid named Jesse Long (whom I knew, but cannot 100% vouch for this story). His middle name was a family name: Harden. Jesse Harden Long. Went to a judge to have it changed. Judge saw no problem with his request.
-
Doctor Wankinstein.
Death Breath.
The Incredible Sulk.
Erection Slayer.
-
The Big Oooops
Fudge Stripe
Ultimate Belieber
Brony Supreme
-
Snot hanger
Lumpy
Sir Smells-a-lot
Vice Rear Admiral Underpants
-
Skidmark Sam.
Boogers Face Barry.
Last Picked Larry.
-
My son went to elementary school with a kid named Brock Lee.
-
Stroker (a real nickname from my high school; dude played air guitar all the time).
-
Hungry Hungry Hannah
This had me right out of the gate. :lol You're up Chad.
-
Funny, I had a good feeling about that one. Though, if you keep awarding me victories, you'll never catch me!
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 38
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 16
Tempusvox 15
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
TheSilentHam 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Soupytwist 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
Today's scene (stolen from JayO's FB feed):
Things you can say both at a funeral or during sex.
-
She laid there like a stiff board.
-
Funny, I had a good feeling about that one. Though, if you keep awarding me victories, you'll never catch me!
I had a moral dilemma with that one for that very reason :lol
-
They look so real.
-
The last stroke is what did it.
-
"I like to bang them when they're just laying there like that"....er...wait! Nevermind. :lol :biggrin:
"I'm glad you came"
"She touched everyone in this room"
"This is just so hard right now"
"Here...have a tissue"
'Wow! That's a really nice box"
"They did a really nice job on her face"
-
Holy! Look at the size of that organ!
-
He went really quick.
-
He went really quick.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.. ;D
-
I always wanted to do it in a coffin.
-
Cold Ethyl, cold cold Ethyl.
-
Ugh, it smells like a french whore-house in here.
-
"Here...have a tissue"
Tempus had a bunch of beauts, but this one got the most giggles. Yur up!
-
Thank you!
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 38
lonestar 25
TempusVox 16
kingshmegland 16
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
TheSilentHam 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Soupytwist 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
TODAY'S SCENE:
The wrong thing to say when your lover says, "I love you".
-
Well, it's not gonna suck itself.
-
Awesome. Let's fuck.
Prove it.
Uh, yeah... about that... there's something you need to know...
I love you too, bitch.
You're not getting my Bud Light.
-
Thanks
-
Okay, what is it that you want now?
-
..and you are?
Will you BE QUIET I'm trying to watch the footy.
What is the Love you speak of?
...but we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!
-
I know
-
Who doesn't?
Yeah-ha baby.... YEAH!!!
Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow.
Yeah, but the chicken said Dwight Gooden struck out 268 in 1985.
Surprize butsex?
Wait, wut?
-
CAN'T TOUCH THIS
(https://rs636.pbsrc.com/albums/uu90/vanessa68_2009/Macros%20and%20gifs/McHammer.gif~c200)
(https://i770.photobucket.com/albums/xx342/ryancorven/Reactions/HomerBlink.gif)
-
I figured as much when you jammed your tongue in my pooper
-
I can't beat two of them already posted, so I'm sitting this one out.
-
How much do you want?
-
How much do you want?
spoken like a true father and husband.... :lol
-
...would now be a bad time to say I've slept with your sister, your mother, and then your sister AND your mother.
...Oh for the love of God I told you to never say that in front of my wife.
...I know you do Scarlett.
...HOLY SHIT A TALKING SHEEP!!
-
<Tom Brady> Sure you do, Roger.
-
Let me hit the record button first... Okay, will you repeat that?
-
...Oh for the love of God I told you to never say that in front of my wife.
Winner...yer up!
-
Surprising, thought there were some real great ones. But thanks.
Standings
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 38
lonestar 25
TempusVox 16
kingshmegland 16
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
TheSilentHam 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Soupytwist 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
Today scene. We recently lost Roger Moore So..
Most unlikely lines to be uttered by James Bond....
-
Sucked..not stroked.
-
I'm Batman
-
Suprize butsex?
M... blow me.
Q... M just blew me.
I'll let you go if you can tell me the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.
My Chevy Volt is just such a sexy vehicle.
-
I like my balls shaken, not cupped.
-
Why yes my dear, I am from Nantucket.
-
I'll have a Yoo-Hoo.
-
I'll have a Yoo-Hoo.
I'll have a Zima
-
Bond.... Jane Bond.
-
Long live the queen, of course. But here's my resignation, and I'm off to help make America great again.
Edit:fixed typo
-
I'll have a Yoo-Hoo.
I'll have a Zima
(https://c.sceneclip.com/data/clip/e33kMTQ/clip.preview.jpg)
-
Screw Goldeneye.....anyone down for a Golden Shower?
-
Q, a laser watch? Cool beans!
Can you give me 20 minutes, Darling? I need to take a Viagra.
-
Sorry, LGBTQ, I have to start calling you that to be PC and all-inclusive.
-
It's Elementary my dear Watson....
-
"Hold on while I unwrap this condom."
"Miss Moneypenny, please tell M I will talk to him when I get back from the taping of the Maury Povich show."
-
I think I've ran out of bullets....
-
I'll have a Zima
Not a caption, but dear lord my first alcoholic beverage was a Zima.
-
I like my balls shaken, not cupped.
Winner.
-
Thank you! Thank you!
Standings
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 38
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 17
TempusVox 16
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
TheSilentHam 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Soupytwist 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
Next Scene.
Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus. You want to sit on your ass for the day but your girl has other plans and she says to you.........
-
Wanna talk?
Her: Let's do something.
Me: Ok, what do you have in mind?
Her: I don't know.
-
.....don't get comfy, I told my Mom we'd come over and help her and Dad clean out their garage.
-
"Fancy a fuck?"
"Has it been four months already?"
-
"Whose bra is this?"
-
You best clean that skid mark on the toilet before my family gets here.
Ooohhh, let's watch the Teen Mom marathon!
Let's do something fun together... Scrap-booking!
I got two tickets to the football game, let's get there early to tailgate. I bought sausages already.
<this is what Queenshmegland would say for sure!>
-
She's a veteran of tailgating at Pats games.
-
If you ever want to see March 14th, you'd better march outside and get that yard shaped up.
-
Oh, no you don't! Today is Oprahpalooza, and you promised.
-
If you're going to sit there all day with your robe thrown recklessly open, will you at least put on some underpants?
-
It's not going to suck itself...
Actually, it'd be more like:
The dishes aren't going to do themselves...
-
But you promised to shave my back today!
-
.....don't get comfy, I told my Mom we'd come over and help her and Dad clean out their garage.
This hurt me to the core. Winner!
-
Thank you Sir! We've all heard some rendition of that phrase..... :lol
Standings
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 39
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 17
TempusVox 16
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
TheSilentHam 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Soupytwist 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
Next Scene.
You walk in to your after school detention only to find your teacher and best friend engaged in full on sex....your first words are?
-
I don't think that's appropriate Mr. Lancaster.
First rule of detention....
-
How do I get Detention?
-
How many milimeters are you giving her?
Extra Credit?
How long does it to to get from that desk to the other desk if Billy is boning Mrs. Hanley and he's pumping every 2 seconds?
-
<takes out notebook> Dear Penthouse ...
Ms Freeman, you have an INCREDIBLY hairy bush.
That must be jelly, cuz jam don't shake like that.
-
I'll have a Zima
Not a caption, but dear lord my first alcoholic beverage was a Zima.
That shit is awful. It's like slightly alcoholic Fresca.
-
That's what you use to take corrosion of of the car battery.
-
Oh Sorry I thought the Biology class was over.
Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce him, aren't you?
So my detention punishment is sloppy seconds?
How to get a A certificate from the teacher, and a STD certificate from the Doctor.
-
I'll have a Zima
Not a caption, but dear lord my first alcoholic beverage was a Zima.
That shit is awful. It's like slightly alcoholic Fresca.
The teacher or your best friend?
(Actually, I like Fresca and vodka).
-
Oh Sorry I thought the Biology class was over.
you're up!! :tup
-
Thanking You.
Thanking You.
Standings
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 38
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 17
TempusVox 16
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
TheSilentHam 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
Cool Chris 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
Scene this...
You order a Pizza. 30 Minutes later there is a knock on the door, opening the door your greeted by the Pizza delivery person - who turns out to be an Ex Partner, who dumped you in a horrible way for someone else.........what do you say?
-
Milenia?
-
"I see your face cleared up. Too bad about the weight, though."
-
I'd give you a tip but you've already gotten it......many times.
-
This pleases me. Here's a $20 since its obvious tou need it and I enjoy a good laugh.
-
Tip? TIP!?!? Here's a tip... turn up the thermostat a tad to warm your cold and dying soul.
Boy, you sure aged like shit. I dodged a bullet there.
-
No, really, no hard feelings. I totally understand. Oh, by the way, have you met my amazing, beautiful wife?
Wow, you got fat... Ever considered working at a salad bar instead?
-
This is the first time you ever offered me a chance to eat something of yours.
-
I'm sorry I ordered a medium Pepperoni......not a large fat a$$, semen soaked heartless bitch!
-
This is the first time you ever offered me a chance to eat something of yours.
Winner!
This one takes it. ;D
-
Standings
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 38
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 17
TempusVox 16
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
TheSilentHam 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
For the upcoming Brock Lesnar/Samoa Joe match, WWE just announced a never before used stipulation. It will be a _____________ match!
-
Cornhole Match. First to squeal loses....
-
Who the fuck cares
-
We need a pay cheque
-
Texas hold 'em poker. If it's good enough for ESPN, it's good enough for wrestling.
-
Lip Sync match....
-
First to splooge
Most drawn out ring entrance
-
Tickle fight match
Best Jazz Hands
-
Rock, Paper, Scissors
Buck Buck
Crop duster
-
I'll show you mine if you show me yours....
Who can hide the most cucumbers....
-
Who can hide the most cucumbers....
Bah gawd! Bah gawd!
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
The winner. Honorable mention for "Who the fuck cares." While not a great stipulation, genuinely made me laugh.
-
Why thank you!
Standings
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 39
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 17
TempusVox 16
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
TheSilentHam 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
next scene:
Your tasked with 'naming' Bill Belichick's 2017 Season's training camp. It's called?
-
Remember Jamie Collins? Yeah, neither do we.
We're on to 2018. Just give us the Lombardi already.
What are our odds of making the Super Bowl again? Ahhh, maybe 28:3?
-
Come On Roger, 2018 needs you.
Bill will need a 3rd hand 2018.
-
What shit-assed no-name receivers will make the squad this year
Running game, schmumming game.
Eat my ass and balls
Operation: Gamecrime
-
Champgate.
-
Champgate.
More like Chumpgate
that would be the Jets training camp
-
Huffs, clears throat, sniffles
-
I have no idea who Bill Belichick is. I went to his wiki page, but way to much to read, so my answer will be....
Jeffrey.
-
Hoodies and goodies
-
<Dead silence>
(Anyone who has seen a Belichick press conference, where he just stares at the questioner and doesn't say a thing will understand this).
-
#lolfalcons
-
Who shall we lull into a false sense of security this year?
-
The cougar is off limits.
-
#lolfalcons
I'm going with this one because well.....LOL at the Falcons for choking and blowing that game :lol
You're up!
-
Thank you G!
Standings
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 39
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 17
TempusVox 16
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
DebraKadabra 3
JayOctavarium 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
next scene:
On July 3, 1776, Thomas Jefferson is procrastinating while trying to finish the Declaration of Independence. What does find to do with his time?
-
Shags one of his hot slaves....
-
www.dreamtheaterforums.org
-
Netflix and chill. :millahhhh
-
Steal George Washington's wooden dentures and whittle Vampire Teeth into them..
-
How can we shorten this to 140 characters?
Ben. Ben! Pull my finger. QUICK!
Hey Jimmie ... why can't you masturbate with these two fingers??
Because they're mine!
Who's up for a circle-jerk?
-
He got into a twitter beef with Ben Franklin.
-
Pretends to be like Howard Stern and interviews hot lesbian slaves.
-
Designing the blueprints for the first presidential Aircraft, which would much later come to reality as Air Force One. The only difference from his original design was the name - Thomas Jefferson Airplane.
-
Now... how do we word this damned thing that would still allow us our bruthuhs and sistahs around the homestead?
-
Good ones as usual.. gotta give Jay his due for this one. winner!
www.dreamtheaterforums.org
Though this one is probably the most historically accurate
Shags one of his hot slaves....
-
Starting next scene for Jay (upon request)
Standings
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 39
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 17
TempusVox 16
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
next scene:
Excuses when a supervisor comes in and finds a security guard asleep at the job
-
I was scanning our cyber threads.
-
www.dreamtheaterforums.org
-
Sorry Boss, but I told you this would happen if you piped in Genesis through the office.
-
Can't I get a few hours of sleep boss? Your wife is keeping me up all night.
-
This scene :clap:
-
"Sorry boss, I was at the Shattered Fortress show last night and the drum solo went way longer than it should have."
Too soon? ;D
-
Honestly, do you think anyone is going to break in and steal this crap you sell?
There were just to many of them, I fought bravely and injured a few but a cheap shot rendered me unconscious, however looks like I must have scared them off as nothing appears to be missing.
My snoring sounds like several angry guard dogs.
-
Fucking Costanza and this goddamned rocking chair!
-
You ever heard of resting your eyes jackass....that's what i was doing?
-
Sorry....I was mentally undressing your daughter. Man, she's got boobs like her mom.
-
Any more?
-
Sorry sir....I wasn't sleeping though...I was in deep contemplation pondering how do you know that your experience of consciousness is the same as other people’s experience of consciousness?
-
Sorry sir, has Jay picked a winner yet?
-
Sorry sir....I wasn't sleeping though...I was in deep contemplation pondering how do you know that your experience of consciousness is the same as other people’s experience of consciousness?
Damnit.
I was going to go with the Undressing Daughter comment (if you worked here you would know that kind of comment would fit right in...)
but this last one takes it.
Winner!
-
Cool! Thank you kind Sir....
Standings
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 40
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 17
TempusVox 16
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
next scene:
Your overweight neighbor walks out of his house wearing only his tighty whighties,his wife's bra and purse, holding a half drank bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a bottle of Extra Virgin cooking oil in the other. He's sees you and shouts across the street, "Any chance you could give me a hand with _______?"
-
"...running the country?"
-
".... these anal beads?"
-
"... figuring out how to pardon my son for possibly being caught trying to collude with the Russians without ruining my own presidency? (https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/09/us/politics/trump-russia-kushner-manafort.html?action=Click&contentCollection=BreakingNews&contentID=65549760&pgtype=Homepage&_r=0)"
-
"... finding the three little shithead kids ruined my box-hedges?"
"... the gimp costume I've got up in the garage loft?"
"... waxing my back?"
"... mopping up some blood? You don't have a spare shower curtain, do ya?"
-
"....being asked to play drums for DT again?"
-
"... chafing due to anal leakage?"
"... rehearse my lines for 10 Cloverfield Lane 2."
-
...come up with my top 25 video games for a DTF countdown?
-
"... picking a winner at some dumbass game I'm playing with my online friends?"
-
"....being asked to play drums for DT again?"
TV gets it!
-
Thanks Gary! And btw things are great. Taking an unplanned 2 year break from writing to live a little. This is my summer of concerts. So I've been traveling like crazy. Most have been last minute decisions, I've finally enlisted a couple friends who can afford to and have an inclination to go with me. Mrs. Vox is "rocked out" and not up for all the hotels, but she hung through the first 12. So, I'm trying to hit a magic number of 50 this year before we're through. Up to 22 so far; caught Maiden now 6 times (3 in UK) and headed to NYC for the shows on the 21st and 22nd. Enough catching up...back to the show; but I hope you're doing fantastic as well! \m/
Standings
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 40
lonestar 25
TempusVox 17
kingshmegland 17
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
next scene:
Pick up lines of the blind...
-
"wanna see my penis? Oh.. wait.."
-
I'm still learning Braille but by the feel of things I'd say it's a tad nipply out....
-
I can honestly say that I've never seen anyone more beautiful than you
-
I may not look like much, but I'm hung like a shetland pony.
Your pussy has the scent of surströmming.
<you didn't say they had to be good pickup lines>
-
HOLY SHIT I'M BLIND!!!....you have literally blinded me with your beauty.....a blowjob and we'll call it even?
Hi there, I'm blind but my mate says you've been looking in my direction all night, may I ask for your name?.......Oh well nice to meet you Derek....
-
I can honestly say that I've never seen anyone more beautiful than you
:lol
-
I want to dotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdot you so bad!
-
Huuu ahh??
-
You know.....this just isn't a walking cane......it's handle is curved for pleasure, battery operated as well and has several varying speeds and motions.
-
Your name wouldn't happen to be Iris....would it?
-
My guidedog always knows what I want, that is why he's currently sniffing your crotch.
-
If I had to guess I'd say you're either twerking or slapping two honey ham shanks together.
-
hhmmm... you got the 'smells like fish' part down. Shall we move on to 'tastes like chicken'?
-
Does this smell like chloroform to you?
-
:rollin
Cross thread pollination
-
I can honestly say that I've never seen anyone more beautiful than you
Made me chuckle. You're up!
-
Thanks TV!
Standings
gmillerdrake 41
jingle.boy 41
lonestar 25
TempusVox 17
kingshmegland 17
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Stadler 1
next scene:
You're innocent, yet accused of murder and are being interrogated. But your Alibi is embarrassing/odd/unbelievable etc. what is it?
-
"I was driving the Adrenaline Mob RV."
Too soon?
-
Me and my pals Paul and Jared were meeting with some foreign lawyer.
I was having an impromptu sit down with Chris Hansen.
I was arguing the number of strikeouts Dwight Gooden had in 1984 with some chick.
Have you heard of DTF?
-
I was murdering someone else.
-
I was having an impromptu sit down with Chris Hansen.
I think the premise is UNBELIEVEABLE. ;)
-
... I was at home. I have witnesses. I walked out of my house wearing only my tighty whighties, my wife's bra and purse, holding a half drank bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a bottle of Extra Virgin cooking oil in the other. My neighbor, Tempus Vox, saw me and helped me with my drumming. You can ask him!
-
Well, I was out on the Interstate getting corn-holed by three Mexicans in ancient Toyota microbus. :blush
-
I was at the Beiber concert.
-
I was back stage at a Beiber concert. TAC can confirm this.. he saw my VIP pass and became quite jealous.
-
Got the pics to prove it!
-
Do you have the pics from the hand job I gave him?
-
I would've but my lens got smudged.
-
My name is Tim, and I lied when I said I was at the Beiber concert. I was actually seeing Winger; Kee of Hearts was opening.
-
(https://imoviequotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/6-My-Cousin-Vinny-quotes.gif)
-
I was making out with my girlfriend, yeah she's only seventeen, daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me!
-
(https://imoviequotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/6-My-Cousin-Vinny-quotes.gif)
-
It couldn't have been me, I was too busy warning Stadler to chill in the P/R forum.
Too soon? :biggrin:
-
... I was at home. I have witnesses. I walked out of my house wearing only my tighty whighties, my wife's bra and purse, holding a half drank bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a bottle of Extra Virgin cooking oil in the other. My neighbor, Tempus Vox, saw me and helped me with my drumming. You can ask him!
Sounds like a great Alibi. You win!
-
Standings
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 40
lonestar 25
TempusVox 17
kingshmegland 17
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Stadler 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
At this pace, I'll be in the lead by... 2112.
So... this past weekend I went to a tag sale. There was a neat little box called a "Mystery Box" for $5. I figured, what the hell! In it was a signed copy of Images and Words and a small painting of dogs playing poker (behind which I found an original copy of the Declaration of Independence). But the most amazing thing was an unpublished manuscript from Tempus Vox called ___________
(All in fun, of course; let's remember to show the requisite amount of respect for another forumer...)
-
Yelp Reviews: You suck at it.
-
Using the most current standings to post.....you suck st it. Chad and I are tied
-
"From Gimp in a Box to Jingle.Boy. One Canadians Life Adventure"
-
The Official Dan Brown Autobiography
-
History of the St. Louis Blues: Why They've Never Won a Cup
-
Using the most current standings to post.....you suck st it. Chad and I are tied
Well, not really we aren't. ;)
-
How to Win Every Argument. ;)
Mystery Novels for Dummies
How to Name Drop Like a Boss
-
Using the most current standings to post.....you suck st it. Chad and I are tied
Well, not really we aren't. ;)
GMD, Status Seeker.
Yes, that's an entry into the contest.
-
"My life as the 5/8 Forum Geisha"
-
Using the most current standings to post.....you suck st it. Chad and I are tied
Well, not really we aren't. ;)
GMD, Status Seeker
Just want the record to be shown correctly. That's all.
-
The name is Tempus, Tempus Vox.
-
Mein Covfefe, The Biography of Pino Chitler.
-
My life as a Bay City Roller Groupie.
-
Geedy Lee and his Merry Band of Cornholing Mexicans
-
"Only Weymolith Really Knows"
-
"Horton Huffs a Ho"
-
Fucktards will wait for anything
-
The curious case of Gmillerdrake's vanishing point
-
Gotta tell ya, and I'll take the blame for this, but there's not a lot to work with here.
For being a sport, I'm going to give it to Tempus and beg his forgiveness moving forward.
-
Standings
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 40
lonestar 25
TempusVox 18
kingshmegland 17
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Stadler 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Thanks! No begging for forgiveness unless it's from me. Sorry I haven't posted until now. Been traveling.
Scene:
Acceptance speeches you'll never hear...
-
I am honored to be your first female President -- Chelsea Clinton
Told you I'd beat that fuckin shark -- Michael Phelps
-
It's an honor to Win the Stanley Cup for the St. Louis Blues - Alex Petriangelo
-
HAHA, this is a good one. One of the better ones, actually!
"I humbly accept this second term as President." - Donald Trump
"I humbly accept [insert anything you goddamn well please, because the key word here is "humbly"]." - Donald Trump
"This Oscar means so much to me; thank you to the Academy..." - Steven Seagal
And unfortunately:
"It is truly an honor to now be among heroes, friends, and colleagues in the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame." - Robert Fripp, Ronnie James Dio, Keith Emerson, Greg Lake, Lemmy, Duran Duran, and Iron Maiden (though I think the last two will ultimately get there)
-
"It's truly an honor to receive (insert any Grammy award here)..." --Dream Theater
<Anything with a TelePrompTer> --Floyd Mayweather
-
I never thought I'd win DTF Member of the Year --- Kotowboy
I can't wait to bring Vince Lombardi Trophy trophy to the city of Cleveland --- Jimmy Haslam
The Rock couldn't be hear tonight because of his campaign preparations, but I'll gladly accept this award for his performance in Baywatch 2: Bearded Clam --- Zac Efron
I'd like to thank Michael Bay for seeing the artistry in this book, and agreeing to use it for his latest movie. Hard to believe 17 years after first finishing <some pompous title>, here I am holding the Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar --- Tempus Vox
-
.
-
:lol
Some clever entries...Jingle you were *thisclose* but Stadler takes it with the Steven Segal entry!
Stadler you're up!
-
Standings
jingle.boy 41
gmillerdrake 40
lonestar 25
TempusVox 18
kingshmegland 17
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
Stadler 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Scene:
High school/college classes you WISH you could have taken.
-
Hummers 101
-
Embezzlement: How To NOT Get Caught
How to Spot the "Naughty" Teachers and The Steps to Take After you Identify Them
-
Hummers 101
didn't you teach that....with demonstrations and all?
-
Woodworking Masters Course: Creative Avenues to Cure Your Morning Wood
-
Experiential Sex Ed 101
-
Successfully Bribing Superiors and Authority Figures
Understanding Women - there are no classes or tests, because it's pointless. And every man fails the course anyway.
History of the Q-Tip
-
Intro to Jedi Mind Tricks
Intermediate Jedi Mind Tricks: Bank Account Balance
Advanced Jedi Mind Tricks: Penis Size
-
Crusty Sock, T-Shirt and Kleenex Art
-
Zydar 101
-
How about a class without the bunch of fucking weirdos in this thread..
-
Typing like a King(shmegland)
-
The Lyrical Genius of Winger
and just for TAC...
Planning Disney Vacations (that is a 2 semester course!)
-
and just for TAC...
Planning Disney Vacations (that is a 2 semester course!)
Hah! That was actually my wife's major.
-
Extreme Wealth through Procrastination
How to Bang Your "Writing for Prospective Lawyers" Professor Without Her Husband Finding Out
Rolling Perfect Joints 101
-
The Lyrical Genius of Winger
Planning Disney Vacations (that is a 2 semester course!)
Jingle has this one. There were three that struck me (these two and the "Understanding women..." courses.).
Though TAC has it wired, let me tell you. :)
-
Updated Standings (and giving Gary his "missing" point so he stops bellyachin :biggrin:)
jingle.boy 42
gmillerdrake 41
lonestar 25
TempusVox 18
kingshmegland 17
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
Stadler 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Today's Scene:
Awkward 'share' at an AA meeting
-
Updated Standings (and giving Gary his "missing" point so he stops bellyachin :biggrin:)
Just made my day. :lol
-
....and I knew I had hit rock bottom the day I spiked my baby Nephew's formula with Vodka and waitied.....then took his urine loaded Diaper and squeezed the pee into eight shot glasses and slammed them all back to back......
-
....and after that and despite the occasional discomfort, that's where i decided to store my cucumbers.
-
....which led me to my motto of "A $20 Bill is a $20 Bill..."
-
I'd like to get my rocks off with you. Speaking of rocks, wanna drink?
-
I was once so wasted on Moonshine I mistook a frozen tampon for a cherry popcycle......which explains why every now and then I get a hankerin' for a bit of A positive blood.
-
"...So, I've always been a big fan of AA. I used to like D for the longest time, but you can't carry as many in your pocket. AAA are fairly useful, but they never last very long. I've never like 9- volts, something about those polarized snap connectors seems so primitive and boorish; and I have this idea about developing batteries that will one day replace gas powered engines in cars...why is everyone staring at me?"
~ the moment young Elon Musk discovered AA wasn't a battery club.
-
I don't even whahíbrido pickingant
-
Did you know AA stands for I have a 12" penis?
-
Did you know AA stands for I have a 12" penis?
Let me show you...
-
Did you know AA stands for I have a 12" penis?
Let me show you...
No.
I won't pull off my pants for you to show King.
-
".. and that's when I realized that I'm Batman."
-
Guess that was a shitty scene.
TV takes it though - I'd send him a PM, but his inbox is full. Hopefully he's scanning the thread.
-
Wow! Thanks...sorry for the delay and the reminder to trim my box..er....I mean purge my in-box.
Updated Standings
jingle.boy 42
gmillerdrake 41
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 17
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
Stadler 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Snow Dog 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Today's Scene:
Bad Infomercials we've never seen.
-
The Apple peeler/ groin scratcher.
When your jock itch meets your obsession with apples.
-
"Fran Drescher here..."
"Hi, I'm OJ Simpson, here to tell about the wonderful world of Ginsu..."
-
You won't get enough of my rectum flavored hot-sauce!
Mooch here to show you how to suck your own cock.
I'm Donald Trump, and my new program "How to get 100 million people to simultaneously scream 'What the actual fuck!?!?'"
Stadler here with my new book "Agreeing... why it is over-rated"
I'm TAC, and you'll want two copies of "Winger's Classics" ... one to play, and one to slap yourself with - you don't want to accidentally seal the CD case shut.
-
"Fran Drescher here..."
No joke, no sarcasm, no "just being different": I LOVE Fran Drescher, and I think she's HOT. The voice is annoying, I'll give you, but I'd rather watch her than Billy Mays or that Sham-WOW! clown, all day long.
-
"Fran Drescher here..."
No joke, no sarcasm, no "just being different": I LOVE Fran Drescher, and I think she's HOT. The voice is annoying, I'll give you, but I'd rather watch her than Billy Mays or that Sham-WOW! clown, all day long.
And I'll give you that she could definitely be found attractive. But that voice. And her laugh. Listening to that for 30-60 minutes would be difficult to sit through for me.
But you're right. Still better than Billy Mays and Vince. Just turn the volume down...
Anyway, back to the funnies...
-
OJ Simpson here to tell you about the new line of 'Ginzu' Steak Knives.......
-
OJ Simpson here to tell you about the new line of 'Ginzu' Steak Knives.......
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/0d/4f/72/0d4f72c579c2ab56d58d6f67b138aac1.jpg)
"Hi, I'm OJ Simpson, here to tell about the wonderful world of Ginsu..."
Paying Attention: You suck at it.
-
Hi, Lars Ulrich here....and I want to introduce you to the worlds most accurate watch that keeps perfect time.....
-
OJ Simpson here to tell you about the new line of 'Ginzu' Steak Knives.......
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/0d/4f/72/0d4f72c579c2ab56d58d6f67b138aac1.jpg)
"Hi, I'm OJ Simpson, here to tell about the wonderful world of Ginsu..."
Paying Attention: You suck at it.
:facepalm: Guess I should have jumped back a page huh? :lol sorry Snow Dog...I'm a :loser:
-
"Do you struggle with your golf game? Looking to cut a few strokes from your score? Trying to get rid of that nasty slice or hook? Then you need SwingRite, the complete golf tool guaranteed to fix that turribull swing. Here with your host, Charles Barkley!"
"Floyd Mayweather here to... to tal- talk to you ab... ab... abowt how Hookt on Fonnix wor... werked for me..."
-
I'm Connor McGregor. Do you struggle with humility? If so, I have just the thing for you.
It's new and improved Rogaine Hour, with Telly Savalas.
-
Hi, I'm John Holmes and let me introduce you to the the diaphragm.
-
Kotowboy shows you how to be happy in just 3 minutes a day.
Join Kingshmegland's Dollar Shave Club for $5 a day.
Learn to type like Kingshmegland
Motivation by BlobVanDam
-
I can teach you how to trust auto correct and never proof read for 4 installments of $49.95!
-
I'm TAC, and you'll want two copies of "Winger's Classics" ... one to play, and one to slap yourself with - you don't want to accidentally seal the CD case shut.
:lol
-
I'm TAC, and you'll want two copies of "Winger's Classics" ... one to play, and one to slap yourself with - you don't want to accidentally seal the CD case shut.
:lol
Order in the next 10 minutes, and you'll also get a 5 foot poster of his classic "Hunk of the Month" promo shot. It's laminated, so you can hang it in the shower where it will get the most use.
(https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WBjwk7NJbDA/UR7bgLPiapI/AAAAAAAAABw/ADWEIflBssE/s1600/kip1.jpg)
But wait... there's more! Free shipping to Australia, UK and Canada. We gotta get these things out of the U.S.
-
I'm TAC, and you'll want two copies of "Winger's Classics" ... one to play, and one to slap yourself with - you don't want to accidentally seal the CD case shut.
:lol
Order in the next 10 minutes, and you'll also get a 5 foot poster of his classic "Hunk of the Month" promo shot. It's laminated, so you can hang it in the shower where it will get the most use.
(https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WBjwk7NJbDA/UR7bgLPiapI/AAAAAAAAABw/ADWEIflBssE/s1600/kip1.jpg)
But wait... there's more! Free shipping to Australia, UK and Canada. We gotta get these things out of the U.S.
The um..package seems to be very popular in the Brisbaine area.
-
Have you ever wanted to invest in the Market but didn't know where to start? Hi, I'm Martha Stewart and my new book 'Investing 1-2-3" will teach you all the tricks of the trade....
-
Welcome to the Animal Shelter Rescue Hour. And now here's your host, Michael Vick.
Hooked on Phonics IV, by Mike Tyson.
-
Have you ever wanted to invest in the Market but didn't know where to start? Hi, I'm Martha Stewart and my new book 'Investing 1-2-3" will teach you all the tricks of the trade....
With contributions from Martin Shkreli and Bernie Madhoff.
-
Hi, I'm Taylor Swift. Have you ever wanted to grab someone's ass?
-
"Hi, I'm Donald Trump. Have you ever wanted to grab someone's pussy?"
-
"Do you struggle with your golf game? Looking to cut a few strokes from your score? Trying to get rid of that nasty slice or hook? Then you need SwingRite, the complete golf tool guaranteed to fix that turribull swing. Here with your host, Charles Barkley!"
Winner!! You're up Dog.
-
Thank you, sir!
Standings
jingle.boy 42
gmillerdrake 41
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 17
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
Stadler 3
Snow Dog 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next scene:
Things not to say as someone is giving birth
-
Oh God! It looks like Joe!
-
What's that smell?
-
For the record I actually said this:
****Leans in close to her ear and while tenderly holding her hand says****
" You just pooped"
-
Mrs Cool Chris will be giving birth sometime next month. Will follow this round closely.
-
Oh God! It looks like Joe!
So he's handsome!
I took out life insurance on you last week.
-
Pipe down woman, it can't hurt THAT much.
-
Can you put on the football game?
-
When you're finished here, howsabout you fix us up some sammiches?
-
"hey hun, you in the mood?"
-
Gee, I didn't even know you were pregnant.
-
Are you sure it's mine?
-
Hey Doc, if I give you a 50 can you put in a couple extra stitches for me?
-
<From a payphone at the local bar> "Hello? Who? From where?"
-
I think I saw a stalagmite.....or stalagtite....anyway.....
-
Can you hurry a little? I got a tee-time to make.
-
Looks like I'll be needing a snorkel in the future....
-
Have you ever seen what an M-80 fire cracker does to a slab of Roast Beef? I have.....
-
Lots of good ones, and TV nearly had the boomerang win with the stitches comment, but imagining the real world implications of this one had me rolling!
For the record I actually said this:
****Leans in close to her ear and while tenderly holding her hand says****
" You just pooped"
You're up, G.
-
Cool...thank you. She won't let me live that one down either. :lol
Standings
jingle.boy 42
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 17
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
Stadler 3
Snow Dog 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next scene:
What are some secondary uses for common items we use daily?
-
Well, when my wife has a "fever", I don't use a thermometer to take her temperature.
-
Well, when my wife has a "fever", I don't use a thermometer to take her temperature.
I hear rectal is more accurate.....
-
Well, when my wife has a "fever", I don't use a thermometer to take her temperature.
Pretty sure she prefers the thickness of the regular thermometer.
-
Well, when my wife has a "fever", I don't use a thermometer to take her temperature.
Pretty sure she prefers the thickness of the regular thermometer.
:tup :hat
-
Sure, the pool would be a fine place to defrost the Thanksgiving turkey!
*based on actual in-law related events
-
"The wife stopped doin' it years ago, and well, a guy has his needs, y'know? This thing ain't just for milkin' cows..."
-
sorry for the bummer scene but I'll need a couple more....
-
Using a stapler to hem pants.
(C'mon, I know every one of you has done that once)
-
"So take a peek at my.. " *embellished flourish* "... WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTIO... yes, I realize it's a banana."
-
My shoehorn is an excellent butt scratcher.
-
My shoehorn is an excellent butt scratcher.
More like your butt scratcher is an excellent shoehorn.
-
My shoehorn is an excellent butt scratcher.
More like your butt scratcher is an excellent shoehorn.
She is excellent.
-
My shoehorn is an excellent butt scratcher.
Take it Joe! you da winna'
-
Can someone post the scores for me? Here is the next scene.
You lose 100 lbs and you see you Jr. For the first time in 20 years and you say?
-
Updated Standings posted for King....
Standings
jingle.boy 42
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 18
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
Stadler 3
Snow Dog 3
TAC 2
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next scene:
You lose 100 lbs and you see you Jr. For the first time in 20 years and you say?
-
When did you get circumcised??
-
We've been playing together for so long, it's great to finally meet you.
-
I see why my wife left me.
-
So what was The Path Of Totality really like?
-
No. I... am your father.
-
I thought you'd be bigger?
-
I see why I got that vasectomy...
I'm only here because of Maury. That asshole...
-
Oh, so I wasn't actually peeing out of my belly button after all.
-
I see who found the 100 pounds.
-
How 'bout a trim, Buddy. You look like a button on a fir coat.
-
Hey Podaar, where you been?
Haven't seen you on the board lately?
-
We've been playing together for so long, it's great to finally meet you.
Winna!!
-
Standings
jingle.boy 42
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 18
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
TAC 3
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris 3
Stadler 3
Snow Dog 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next scene:
In a play on the last round, let's reverse the roles. What does your penis say to YOU after you lost those 100 lbs.
-
How you do.... ew, don't touch me!
Look pal, this ain't like rolling craps. Take your time every now and then.
Wash your hands, use some lotion... A little foreplay wouldn't hurt once and a while. An organ has its needs.
Use the Jergens on yourself once and a while... you have palms like a long-shorman.
-
"Hey, who took my hat?"
-
Enough with the balloons already.
-
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Crap, that's who we are... was hoping we were Alec Baldwin
-
You had the best hide n seek spot ever!
-
I preferred your fat sausage fingers.....they were soft and cushy. Your 'new' fingers are bony and cold.....
-
"Hey, who took my hat?"
You're up, Chris.
-
Standings
jingle.boy 42
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 18
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
TAC 3
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Stadler 3
Snow Dog 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Scene: in an alternate reality, Twitter is launched on January 01, 1960, and this is the most memorable tweet from the decade of the 1960s.
-
Tweet from Neil Armstrong:
First! One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind! #NASA #moon https://m.imgur.com/gallery/kIdJv (https://m.imgur.com/gallery/kIdJv)
-
Lee Oswald @lhoohra 21m ago
@SecretService... there's someone with a rifle on a hill near Dealey Plaza. #grassyknoll
-
@BillRussell
"We're gonnna win, not one, not two, not three......."
-
@ElvisPresley retweeted this:
-Food&DrugAdministration @FDA ... 16h
-#Enovid birth control pill approved.
@allthesingleladies... I'm coming home from the military. No 'domes necessary! #nothingtoworryabout
-
TherealJohnLennon retweeted:
Drake Times-Delphic: "Is Beatle Paul McCartney Dead?"
#IveGotNewsForYouAll! #TheWalrusIsPaul! #FakeNews! SAD!
-
Sorry guys, started my roulette and forgot all about this.
@ElvisPresley retweeted this:
-Food&DrugAdministration @FDA ... 16h
-#Enovid birth control pill approved.
@allthesingleladies... I'm coming home from the military. No 'domes necessary! #nothingtoworryabout
Winner.
-
Standings
jingle.boy 43
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 18
Podaar 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
TAC 3
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Stadler 3
Snow Dog 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Things to say that will not advance your attempt to 'hook up'.
-
You look just like my mom.
You look just like Joe
-
Hi, I'm jingle.boy.
-
"Do you like Winger?"
-
Let me ask my mom if it's okay if you stay the night.
-
Hi, I'm jingle.boy.
Worked just fine with your wife.
-
Good news is my Herpes are dormant right now.
-
You look just like your dad.
-
I won't ask you to go down on me later, because of the boil.
-
You sure don't sweat much for a fat woman!
-
I'm testing Gag reflexes for a project...your sister and mom did great, just need to verify you have the gift as well.
-
Hi, I'm jingle.boy.
I came in here to post that.
-
Hi, I'm jingle.boy.
I came in here to post that.
(https://replygif.net/i/471.gif)
You sure don't sweat much for a fat woman!
Winner.... this is absolutely my most favorite and most used back-handed compliment.
You be up Gregg.
-
Wow, drive-by victory. Thanks, Chad.
Standings
jingle.boy 43
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 18
Podaar 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
TAC 3
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Stadler 3
Snow Dog 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
The wrong thing to say when your significant other kisses you good bye prior to leaving for work.
-
Try not to suck any di%k when you walk across the parking lot....
-
<rips one>
Your mouth tastes like shit.
Honey, where did you put the condoms?
-
Can you hurry up? I'm watching porn in the other room.
I think you forgot to shave. Your lip is hairier than mine.
-
You and your sister have the same technique...
-
Not much participation on that one. Oh, well, Chad would have probably taken it with this one regardless.
<rips one>
Gee, that's warm.
-
Hopefully we're not running out of good ideas for scene's??
Standings
jingle.boy 44
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 18
Podaar 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
TAC 3
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Jarlaxle 3
Stadler 3
Snow Dog 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Things you can say about your dog, but not your boss.
-
He's always got his nose buried in someones ass.....
-
Watch yourself, he'll hump anything with legs if you're not careful.
-
My dog would love to lick his balls as much as my boss.
-
Little a$$hole has been a real SOB ever since he got his nuts cut.....
-
Some nights, he'll just hop in bed with me.
Yeah, his girlfriend is a real bitch...
-
I wonder if he'd lick peanut butter off my balls....
-
I wonder if he'd lick peanut butter off my balls....
Winner... reminds me of something someone had sig'd here a long time ago
In defense of peanut butter...
try getting the neighbor's dog to lick your balls with a spoonful of chummus.
-
Sorry guys just saw that I won this, but I'm heading out for a few days and not sure if I'll be able to judge the next round. Would someone like to post and judge the next scene for me?
-
Standings
jingle.boy 44
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 18
Podaar 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
Jarlaxle 4
TAC 3
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Stadler 3
Snow Dog 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Things not to say when you choose the empty urinal between two other guys.
-
Looks like I'm the only Gentile here....
-
Wow, you guys have big dicks.
-
A little help...
(For the record, after the Marillion show at Toad's Place back in 1990, I went to the can and there were three urinals, two occupied and the center one open. I went in to do my business, and realized that Ian Mosley was to my left and Mark Kelly was to my right.
I didn't say a fucking word.)
-
"Let me get that for ya..."
"Oh, it's so CUTE!"
-
(https://i.imgur.com/NWedrsx.gif)
-
Is your porcelain cold too?
Nice hood.
Anyone else need a hug?
-
Interesting technique. I've only seen that grip in my Mai Tai classes.
-
Tim/Gary... control yourselves. Hands off the merchandise. This ain't THAT kind of establishment.
-
Chad/Tim.....if you squint really hard and focus you can see the odd shaped bend.....
-
I've got $20 and a prostate that needs scratchin'....
-
Chad/Gary...It starts out as a Tim, but if you want, I'll make it a Timothy.
-
Who's up for a game of Beat the Flush?
-
I noticed you guys tighten your asses when you piss.
-
I noticed you loosen yours when we piss.
-
Let me hold up your pants guys.
-
You guys want to take a peek at untreated Chlamydia?
-
Have you ever taken a piss with a finger in your ass?
-
Wow, you guys have big dicks.
Lots of great submissions but this one made me laugh out loud just because of its simplicity.
You're up TAC!
-
Standings
jingle.boy 44
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 18
Podaar 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
TAC 4
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Stadler 3
Snow Dog 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next scene...What do you say to the doctor, when you arrive for your prostate exam and he grabs the XXXXXL Latex gloves.
-
This is about to get real messy....
-
Mooooon River. Geez doc, didya ever do time?
-
Can we get a fluffer in here or at least a little warm up first?
-
Heh, I just saw two guys in the john that could use those as condoms.
Please tell me those are sized for length and not girth...
-
Two fingers please.
I should have brought my pillow.
Is it in yet?
It's deeper in there.
-
Careful not to pop the balloon full of Meth
-
Doc, the tattoo on both cheeks say "Exit Only".
-
I'm feeling a record breaker today Doc.....I think I can take 7 fingers....
-
Doc, the tattoo on both cheeks say "Exit Only".
WIN!!
I forgot I was the judge for this round!
-
Standings
jingle.boy 44
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 19
Podaar 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
TAC 4
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Stadler 3
Snow Dog 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next scene: You're memory is failing you as you forgot....
-
..to let the scenes winner know 2 days after he won, which was 7 days since the round started.
-
... that Coors Light tastes like piss.
... your age (and you have to subtract the year you were born from year it is ... and you still get it wrong).
... the last time you choked your chicken.
... at 2pm if you pinched your morning loaf or not.
-
...the last time someone else choked your chicken.
-
... who's the old, ugly hag in the kitchen making breakfast?
-
...how Memento ended, or was it how it began?
-
...that Tom Brady is also failing the Patriots.
-
....that IPA's are a passion and hobby and not a Tax Form.
-
Let's see.. is it one for the pink.... go number two in the sink?
-
...what was the scene again?
-
...what was the scene again?
More importantly... who's judging this round again?
-
...what was the scene again?
More importantly... who's judging this round again?
I forget.
-
...to wake up.
-
...the last time someone else choked your chicken.
How ironic I forgot to pick a winner. :lol
Leave it to Chad to remind me. Lol. Tim, you're up!
-
Leave it to Chad to remind me.
What a pain in the ass.
-
Standings
jingle.boy 44
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 19
Podaar 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TAC 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Stadler 3
Snow Dog 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next scene: Mickey Mouse takes the stand in his own defense at trial for his sexual harassment of Minnie Mouse. When asked what happened he said,"....
-
"All I said was that I wanted a new job"
-
Just because I said I smelled cheese didn't mean it was her dirty pu$$y......
-
I'd like to draw all over you Minnie.
-
...I honestly meant how many nuts she could fit in her mouth......
-
Pluto said she likes it doggie style.
-
When you're a star you can do anything you want. Just grab 'em by the pussy.
So, we were playing catch, and I made this horrible - absolutely horrible - throw, but she still caught it ... and I said "Nice snatch". Who knew?
-
"How do I know? I'm a fucking cartoon."
-
"So Harvey walked out in a bathrobe..."
(Too soon?)
-
So she watches one feminist TED talk, and you ought to hear the list of banned words. Missionary, doggie, ride, hum, cowgirl, blowie, camel-toe, moose-knuckle, anal beads, cockworship, ball-gag, muff-diver... I mean c'mon... Muff diver!?!?!. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT SAY MUFF DIVER?
-
Inflict gvtockose this out later today. I know there's more out there.
-
She completely misunderstood me......I really meant that I wanted a little cleanly shaved tail....I mean, look at my tail...it's HUGE, HAIRY and REEKS!
-
Inflict gvtockose this out later today. I know there's more out there.
(https://replygif.net/i/119.gif)
-
Holy Kingshmegland! :facepalm:
-
I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
Sure, the duck runs around with no pants.... and I'm the one who gets accused?
Did I slip her a Mickey? You bet I did!
-
And that was the last time I sang along to Danger Danger with my headphones on.
Walt said she was too young, but she was old enough for me!
-
"All I did was offer to show her Steamboat Willie."
-
Holy Kingshmegland! :facepalm:
In your face Flanders! :lol
-
Walt drew me with no genitalia. Case Closed!
-
"Nobody on DTF would explain what a 'Nick Fist' was. I just thought it was like a high five or something."
-
It was the first time I cooked her dinner. She asked about the plates, and I said "two are pink, one's in the sink". Imagine how shocked I was with her reaction!
-
"All I did was offer to show her Steamboat Willie."
Gonna end this. Gregg, you're up!!!
-
Ibin gvtockose, monsewer!
Standings
jingle.boy 44
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 19
Podaar 17
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TAC 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Stadler 3
Snow Dog 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next scene: Movie quotes you shouldn't use during a toast to the bride and groom.
-
"Get away from her you BITCH!!!" (Ellen Ripley to large mother Alien in ALIENS)
-
That is one big pile of shit...
Does she suck dicks? Is she a peter puffer? Bullshit! I bet she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!
-
Well, let's not start suckin each others' dicks just yet.
Wrecked 'em?!? Damn near killed 'em!
Smells like fish; tastes like chicken.
-
This wedding is horse shit!
-
[To the bride]: "The Royal penis is clean, your Highness!" (From Coming to America)
-
Houston, we have a problem.
-
Yeah, I fucked them both!
-
And Ryan... be careful what you shoot at. Mosht things in there don't take too kindly to bulletsh.
I see your schwartz is as bit as mine.
Your father was a hamster, and your mother smelled of elderberries.
Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed, in your neighbourhood.
Run away, run away, run away!
-
There she blows!!!
-
What do you think I'm ordering a f****** Pizza?
-
"Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah… So tweasuwe youw wove."
-
"I'd buy that for a dollar!"
-
I see dead people.
-
So, do you feel lucky?
-
"Way to go Hamilton!" "Awesome! Totally Awesome!"
-
"Do you know what this is for? It's for jacking off."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONhA915mkSI
Charles Bronson :metal
-
" I'll have what she's having."
-
I CAN SMELL YOUR PUSSY!!!!
-
So, do you feel lucky?
Well, do ya, punk?
-
:metal
-
"Why so serious?"
"You can't handle the truth! "
-
It puts the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again.
-
I want my two dollars!!!!! (Better Off Dead)
-
[To the Groom]: What's the matter with you? Is this what you've become, a Hollywood finocchio who cries like a woman? "Oh, what do I do? What do I do?" What is that nonsense? Ridiculous! (The Godfather)
"Now you come and say "Don Stadler, give me justice." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me "Godfather." You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me to do murder - for money." (The Godfather)
[To the Groom]: "You touch my sister again, I'll kill you."
[Skip the toast entirely and bang one of the bridesmaids in the hallway, like Sonny Corleone]
-
May The Force Be With You.
-
She’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got (bringing both hands in front of chest) yuuuuuge... tracts of land...
-
I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
-
I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
Accompanied with a subscription from the jelly-of-the-month club. The gift that keeps on giving the whole year.
-
Let me be the first to say congratulations to you then. You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart. Way to work it through.
-
Many, many great entries this round and made it difficult to choose. But in the end, I didn't want all that...
(https://www.loripalminteri.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/prince-herbert-singing.jpg)
She’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got (bringing both hands in front of chest) yuuuuuge... tracts of land...
You're up Snow Dog. Your last entry was a winner too!
-
¡Muchas gracias!
Standings
jingle.boy 44
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 19
Podaar 17
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TAC 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Stadler 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next scene: What the upstairs neighbor is really doing to cause all the noise.
-
"Excuse Mr. Weinstein, I am sorry to bother you, you might not know me, I am Jeffries, I live in 205, right below you..."
-
(https://i.imgflip.com/12o1i3.jpg)
-
Saying to himself "Fuck those assholes downstairs".
-
USA vs Japan robot battle
I think it's a french saying spelled m-e-n-a-g-e
Celtic dancing club for the physically handi-capped
Not my "scene", but it totally reminded me of this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IRB0sxw-YU
-
Violently typing #noCheeseWiz #noiPad #nogadgetsallowed
-
Chino is building his hydroponic weed machine.
-
Cher tweeting at Donald
-
Rehearsing for his STOMP audition
-
A one-legged man practicing for his upcoming ass-kicking contest.
Stadler reacting to the latest joke (or is it "joke"?) in the Political Humor thread.
-
Had a couples party and they were all PlayIng 'JENGA:The Masonry Edition'
-
Busy punishing his 'guest' for not putting the lotion in the basket....
-
Had a swinging couples party and they were all PlayIng 'JENGA:The Masonry Missionary Edition'
Fix'd
Your neighbour is Buffalo Bill.
-
220...221 ... whatever it takes.
-
A one-legged man practicing for his upcoming ass-kicking contest.
The Harvey Weinstein one was great right off the bat, but the mental imagery of this got me laughing. Well done, Stads. You’re up!
-
Standings
jingle.boy 44
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland 19
Podaar 17
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TAC 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
Stadler 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next scene: You're at a fashion show with your wife; during the parade of 20-something models she points to one and says "do you think she's pretty?". And you say...
-
...don't know, my eyes haven't made it past her a$$ and Boobs.....
-
"yeah....she's definitely on the 'she puts the lotion in the basket' list....
-
Well, I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.
Depends if she asks entrapment-like questions.
Oh, sorry... was my boner showing?
Why, you up for a 3-way?
What do you mean by "pretty"?
-
What do you mean by "pretty"?
...."because if you mean does she have a round a$$ that you could bounce a quarter off of....plump breasts that I'd like to suffocate myself with....supple cherry lips that need to be tasted....and eyes that melt my will.......she 'could' be considered pretty"
-
No...I think she's obviously cold, has to be hungry....probably has back problems also and clearly can't afford underwear.
-
What do you mean by "pretty"?
...."because if you mean does she have a round a$$ that you could bounce a quarter off of....plump breasts that I'd like to suffocate myself with....supple cherry lips that need to be tasted....and eyes that melt my will.......she 'could' be considered pretty"
Or if you mean "pretty" like she looks like a homeless crack addict that hasn't had a glass of water in 2.5 days, and was dressed by a community college dropout who's hair and makeup was done by someone who idolized "Frenchy"... she 'could' be considered pretty.
-
"Compared to who?"
-
This is a trap. You normally say "Would you fuck that girl?"
-
What do you mean by "pretty"?
...."because if you mean does she have a round a$$ that you could bounce a quarter off of....plump breasts that I'd like to suffocate myself with....supple cherry lips that need to be tasted....and eyes that melt my will.......she 'could' be considered pretty"
Hey, easy there, bro.
-
Only if you like hugging a branch hunny........
-
I've lost my will to live.
-
This is a trap. You normally say "Would you fuck that girl?"
At least half right; it WAS (and IS) a trap.
You're up. Sorry if the premise was a little lame, but it was a real-life experience from the weekend for me, so I went with it.
(For the record, my answer was "I'm sorry, what?" and pointed to my ear as if I couldn't hear over the music.)
-
An excellent way to handle that, Stadler.
-
When this has happened in the past I typically respond thusly:
It has to be done immeditately:
"Oh my God! Did you see that guys shoes?'
Or,
"That waiter is pissed about something?"
Or,
"That dude over there is hilarious!"
Then followed up with:
"...Sorry, what did you say?"
The entire line of questioning is because in her mind she is comparing herself to the other woman, and somewhere along the way she realizes that she's staring at her, and judging her, and then also thinks to herself, that surely I MUST also be staring at her and judging her, and COMPARING the two of them, and I probably think she's hotter and if given the chance I'd CHOOSE the other woman over her (like the other woman wouldn't even have a say in this ridiculous day dream). All of this happens in the female mind very quickly; so you must be ready for the query at all times.
After I've redirected, that's usually enough to convince her that I wasn't checking out the other woman.
The game my wife likes to play is either.."She's pretty.'' and I say, "Who?" So that she doesn't think I was checking the chick out.
Or, "Please tell me my ass (or whatever) isn't as big (or whatever) as hers."
Which always says to me that I must immediately reply first with, "Who?" and then a sharp, "Are you crazy or something?! Hell no! You're gorgeous! Don't be ridiculous!"
-
I've often followed it up with, "Why? Are you interested?"
-
Next time I might try "Threesome?"
I'll let you know how hard I get hit.
-
???
Uuuuum, what am I missing here. I thought Stadler was "judging" this round, not contributing. Does that mean he can pick his own entry?
:justjen
edit- Never mind, I just read the thread a bit more carefully and realized that King was awarded the victory three days ago. :lol
-
???
Uuuuum, what am I missing here. I thought Stadler was "judging" this round, not contributing. Does that mean he can pick his own entry?
:justjen
edit- Never mind, I just read the thread a bit more carefully and realized that King was awarded the victory three days ago. :lol
But I would've if I could've. :) :) :) :)
-
edit- Never mind, I just read the thread a bit more carefully and realized that King was awarded the victory three days ago. :lol
Quick.....someone say something critical about Belicheck or Tom Brady.......that'll guarantee he pops back in this thread.....
-
I'll send out the call....
Power Windows blows!
-
IM's folks, IM's. :lol
Standings
jingle.boy 44
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 20
TempusVox 1
Podaar 17
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TAC 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
Stadler 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
You are thrown back in time. How would you tell the girls in the 70's that clean beavers are all the rage in 2017?
-
I'll tell you another thing that's all the rage. Small dicks.
-
No one likes to floss with pubes.
My wife gets suspicious when I come home with curly red hairs in my teeth.
Who the hell has ever seen a BEARDED clam in the ocean?
-
In forty years, Gillette will have their name on an NFL stadium for a good reason. *nudge* *nudge*
-
Why would you want to do that??!?!??! Haha.
-
"...but then again, by then you won't care."
-
Once we loved the flowers, now we ask the price of the land. Once we would take water, but now it must be wine. Now we've been, and now we've seen, what price peace of mind. Take a piece of my mind.
-
They found out that by the girl shaving, there was no need for a condom.
-
You can sell that hair to kids with leukemia, you know?
-
This simple procedure will increase the odds of your box being cleaned by a tongue by 135%
-
Because it's just so damned convenient...and they come to you!
(https://i3.cpcache.com/product/1012937206/beaver_cleaners_blue_greeting_card.jpg?width=225&height=225&Filters=%5B%7B%22name%22%3A%22background%22%2C%22value%22%3A%22F2F2F2%22%2C%22sequence%22%3A2%7D%5D)
-
I'll tell you another thing that's all the rage. Small dicks.
I giggled for a day thinking of this. Tim you win!
-
Apparently, you giggled for a week. :lol
-
Standings
jingle.boy 44
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 20
TempusVox 1
Podaar 17
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
Stadler 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
So I got one of those new fangled leaf blowers. Not only does it blow leaves, but it......
-
It'll blow Winger right off your iPod.
-
It will define what a M.I.L.F. is.
-
Will condense Stadler's P/R posts.
-
...also comes with the ambition to use it.
-
....you can VAPE with it!
-
... comes with 17 Flowbee attachments
-
... blows YOU!
-
... comes with 17 Flowbee attachments
I bet that'll come in handy..
-
...and automatically returns your shopping cart for you.
-
...and automatically returns your shopping cart for you.
Yeah, I can simply blow it into the corral. It's the perfect gift for the heathen on your Christmas list.
-
... plays keyboards.
-
will cornhole any number of Mexicans you desire.
will release Donald Trump's tax returns.
Get the Bruins into the playoffs.
-
Comes with a TAC Flame Shield. Holy shit guys! :lol
-
Comes with a free Dig Dug costume.
Drowns our your wife’s nagging to blow the leaves, paint the fence, clean the garage, mow the lawn, wash the dishes, take out the garbage, scrub the shower, wash the cars, rub her feet, etc. etc. etc.
Finally reveals the secret behind Trump’s hair.
-
It'll take down bitch-ass GOP Senators.
-
#nogadgets #noblowers #realrakesonly
-
Get the Bruins into the playoffs.
Okay, NOW you've gone too far. Tone it the f*** down.
:) :) :)
-
...also comes with the ambition to use it.
Oh man, if only..
You're up Gregg!!
-
Standings
jingle.boy 44
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 20
TempusVox 19
Podaar 18
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium 4
Cool Chris 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
Stadler 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
New scene: Things Pennywise could say to lure millenials into the sewer.
-
You wanna see a MILF?
-
Nothing need be said; all it would take is a Tinder account, no?
-
There's a 'safe space' down here
-
I have a three man futon....X-Box, seven bags of Funions and case of Red Bull....just like Mom's basement
The sewage slime will really make your hipster beard glisten....
-
Come in to the sewer and I will give everyone free gas!
We all float down here... the sewers are a socialist system!
-
You can either smoke your weed up there or come down and taste some of the dopest sewer sh%t peyote you'll ever taste.....
-
Think of my feelings if you weren't to come down and allow me to murder you?
-
I seem to have captured Gary's imagination. Does someone spend a lot of hours every day in the office with Millennials? Hmmm?
-
Who wants a participation ribbon?
-
Do you want to know where to get an iPhone XV?
-
I'm offended by these entries
-
4pm-6pm is Selfie-hour
I've got a job down here that pays $95,000/year, and you'll be promoted to EVP within 6 months. Stock options and a fooseball table too!
-
I’ve got a Bernie Sanders election win down here...
-
Free bong hit and pizza!
-
Everybody takes and posts pictures of their food first!
-
Netflix and kill?
-
Many great entries that had me laughing quite a lot. As I usually do when I can't decide, I brought in my studio audience...Mrs. P. This one got the biggest laugh from her.
I'm offended by these entries
You're up, Jay! :lol
-
Thanks Podaar.
Fun fact- That wasn't even an entry :lol
Okay... Standings:
Standings
jingle.boy 44
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 20
TempusVox 19
Podaar 18
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Cool Chris 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
Stadler 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
New scene: Things Pennywise could say to lure OLD FOGEYS into the sewer.
(I'm so bad at coming up with these :lol )
-
No anuses leak down here.
-
I've got a 70" 4K TV down here, beer and no cellphone reception.
-
There’s no millenials down here...
Want a pill that puts Viagra to shame?
Come check out this hot blonde chick with huge fake tits and a great ass!
-
Down here, nobody's joints ache, and you don't have to squint to read the fine print.
Everybody rides scooters!
-
Tim, there are Anal Beads down here.
-
24/7 Winger and unlimited supply of New Balance!
-
The girl down here says she doesn't like to cuddle after....
-
Hey Harvey, I've got a potted plant down here for you.
-
401K matching and no one bloats down here.
-
Flatulence is encouraged - especially dutch ovens!
-
Your wife and kids will never find you down here.
-
You can listen to pre Wuss Era Rush all day long.
-
Your wife and kids will never fondness you down here.
I had your wife over last night to fondness me.
This was funnier in my head.
-
Flatulence is encouraged - especially dutch ovens!
Winner.
I've been rather gassy today. (okay I am always gassy) So this sticks with me.
-
Standings
jingle.boy 45
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 20
TempusVox 19
Podaar 18
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Cool Chris 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
Stadler 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Today's scene ... What not to put on a resume
-
“Education - Brigham Young University; [insert any degree here]”
-
Hobbies: Drugs and pussy.
I believe I am the best candidate and I need this job so my parole officer won't put me back in jail.
As you can see by the glitter designs I've placed around the border of my resume I am artistic and creative.
Objective: To seek employment with a firm that won't be hung up on my punctuality issues.
I left my last job so I could spend more time on dreamtheaterforums.org
-
“Voted ‘Most likely to succeed’; Valley Junior High School, 1995 (go Ligers!)”
-
“Name three weaknesses that you could improve upon.
1- I hate people
2- I hate authority
3- I hate work”
-
Draft Consultant for the Cleveland Browns.
PR Director for Sons of Apollo.
-
James Labrie's touring voice coach
-
Name: Kevin Spacey
Sensitivity Training: None
-
Home Country: Canada
:biggrin:
-
Special skills: Grabbing Pussy.
-
Q.) How Flexible Are You?
A.) Not quite as limber as your wife but I can make do.
-
Draft Consultant for the Cleveland Browns.
PR Director for Sons of Apollo.
You had me at Draft Consultant... but the 2nd one was also exceptional. Yur up!
-
Standings
jingle.boy 45
gmillerdrake 42
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 20
TempusVox 19
Podaar 18
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Cool Chris 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
Stadler 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
What to put on a resume to guarantee you will get hired.
-
Comments From Colleagues: "We always have his back." ... Jules Winfield and Vincent Vega.
Name: Thor
Previous Experience: Being Worthy
-
Whatever is on Chad's Resume
-
I have no gag reflex
I own 850 Acres of back country, heavily wooded property that in near inaccessible. One could say you could hide anything out there....never to be found.
Surveillance photos of the Company CEO's after hour goings on Available upon request
-
Whatever is on Chad's Resume
:blush :hearts:
-
The last name "Gambino".
-
Name: Chuck Norris
-
Will give till tomorrow morning in case any more come in.
-
I’ve never seen a TPS Report i didn’t love
-
I’ve never seen a TPS Report i didn’t love
TPS Report references go to the front of the line!
-
I’ve never seen a TPS Report i didn’t love
TPS Report references go to the front of the line!
Is this considered a 'W' then?
-
Present employment: Chotchkies, waiter.
Achievements: Monthly Employee Flair Award, 2 years running.
-
I’ve never seen a TPS Report i didn’t love
TPS Report references go to the front of the line!
Is this considered a 'W' then?
Yes, you win, No gravy-training Podaar!
-
Sweet....thank you Sir!
Standings
jingle.boy 45
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 20
TempusVox 19
Podaar 18
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Cool Chris 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
Stadler 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next Scene:
You've just had your first sexual experience and your partner decides to give you a nickname based off of that experience, what is it?
-
DeWalt
You know, like the best rated jackhammer in the buidness
-
Rodeo
Yackity Sack
Vice Rear Admiral
-
The Astonishing
-
The Astonishing
That bad, eh?
-
Yackity Sack
:lol
-
Uvula
-
Sanchez
-
[Whatever those little paper horns are that they blow on New Year's Eve]
-
Probie
-
Chuck Norris
-
Shorty :blush
-
Timex
-
Thimble
-
Hat Trick
-
You Not Me
-
Lumbergh
-
Hat Trick
The Gordie Howe kind?
-
Speedy Gonzalez
-
Jack Daniels
Cause I was a hard liquor. 😀
-
Jack Daniels
Cause I was a hard liquor. 😀
:lol That’ll take it TV! You’re up
-
Yeah, that's actually a good one. Very clever.
-
Thank you!!
Standings
jingle.boy 45
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 18
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Cool Chris 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
Stadler 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next Scene:
You've just won 100 million dollars in the lottery. Tomorrow you tell your boss...
-
"Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh heh - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour. Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work."
"The jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"
-
Me too.
-
[in best Cartman voice] Screw you guy, I'm going home
-
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left and took all the reasons
I was working for
You better not try to stand in my way
'Cause I'm walkin' out the door
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
I been workin' in this factory
For nigh on fifteen years
All this time I watched my woman
Drownin' in a pool of tears
And I've seen a lot of good folks die
That had a lot of bills to pay
I'd give the shirt right offa' my back
If I had the guts to say
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left and took all the reasons
I was workin' for
You better not try to stand in my way
'Cause I'm walkin' out the door
Take this job and shove it
I ain't workin' here no more
Well that foreman, he's a regular dog
The line boss, he's a fool
Got a brand new flattop haircut
Lord, he thinks he's cool
One of these days I'm gonna' blow my top
And that sucker, he's gonna' pay
Lord I can't wait to see their faces
When I get the nerve to say
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left and took all the reasons
I was workin for
You better not try to stand in my way
'Cause I'm walkin' out the door
Take this job and shove it
I ain't workin' here no more
-
I'm not coming in today because I'll be at your house banging your wife.
-
I’m gonna be balls deep in hookers and blow for the foreseeable future and won’t be in for a while so you may want to hire a replacement
-
Your father was a hamster, and your mother smells of elderberries.
You have stinky farts.
I've always wanted to tell you this ... nice tits. Oh, and I quit.
-
I ..... Q to the U to the I to the T .....jiggity jiggity
-
I'm going on tour with Iron Maiden.
-
Seeya tomorrow as usual boss. I'm spending my fortune to finally learn the identity of TempusVox
-
I own you. No, really, I bought the fuckin' business, and I OWN you. Cream, two sugars, STAT.
-
Nothing negative as I have a decent working relationship with my boss.
-
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you.
-
I own you. No, really, I bought the fuckin' business, and I OWN you. Cream, two sugars, STAT.
Winner. Yer up!
-
Thank you!!
Standings
jingle.boy 45
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 18
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Cool Chris 5
Stadler 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next Scene:
I flew to Florida yesterday; the pilot made his announcement, and left the intercom on. He said....
-
It's not going to suck itself!
Which one of you assholes farted, dammit.
-
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
-
I always forget if this lever makes us go ‘up’ or ‘down’?
I snorted entirely too much coke at lunch
-
Keep the pitchers coming every 5 minutes until one of us pukes ... then every 7.
Fuck the fucking fuck of a mouse.
-
"Allah Akbar!"
"Did I tell you I was trained by the same guy who trained Roy Halladay?" (too soon?)
-
I am sick of all these mother fucking people on this mother fucking plane.
You see the size of those tits in 2A? Those must be jam, cuz jelly don’t shake like that.
-
Flight attendant, please come to the cockpit for your in-flight snack and drink.
Yeah, Ned, I never could just quite cut it in the Air Force...
We may be flying to Memphis, but fuck it, I wanna see the Grand Canyon.
-
Where are we going again?
-
LEROY JENKINS!!!!!
-
I can't remember if I locked the doors.
-
"Hey pull up DTF....
Did you see the new poll?
.....I think John Myung looks the best."
-
I say we depressurize the fuselage once we reach altitude for shits and grins....
-
I told 'em we are going to have a little turbulence, but I'd still recommend the onion.
-
Let's see how far this bad boy goes on 'E'......
-
We just got a text message from corporate...looks like we both just got laid off!
-
"Hey John, your son works at Safeway, right? How does he feel about people bringing their carts to the corrals in the parking lot?"
-
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
Well, looks like there aren't going to be any more. Any Airplane reference scores with me, so Chris you're up (and for the record, the Roy Halliday was up there too; unfortunately, that's my kind of humor).
-
Just saw I won this. This thread seems to be petering out a bit. Shall we continue or let it rest in peace?
-
Let's fucking go! Quit stalling and start paying attention!
;D
-
I think it was just the Holiday slowing it down.
I saw we keep this shit going.
-
Stop talking and start posting!!! :) :) :)
-
Ok, ok settle down guys.
Standings
jingle.boy 45
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 18
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
Cool Chris 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Stadler 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
With the release of the next Star Wars movie coming, Disney considers launching a new Star Wars spin-off film, so you suggest....
-
Rogue Two.
Big Top Jar Jar.
Picnic at Hanging Ewok.
The Villainess Space Exploits of Darth Lundgren.
Watch this Yoda spin off, you must.
-
Training Day: Stormtroopers
Padme: The Tween Years
Planet Endor. Narrated by David Attenborough
Planet Alderran. Not narrated by David Attenborough.
-
Hand Solo and Princess Lay-a
(adult film spinoff)
-
Wookiee Yule -- A Very Special Chewbacca Christmas
-
I, Jar Jar
Yoda: the Dagobah Years
-
The Second To Last Jedi.
-
Sand.... Everywhere.
A View from Inside the Carbonite.
Oooh-ti-di Matawa.
-
Ink Masters: Tatooine
Vader! The Musical (by Lin-Manuel Miranda)
-
Rebel Scum: An in depth documentary on the hectic, harsh living conditions of the Rebel aalliance as they are forced to live a nomadic lifestyle on the run from the Empire.
-
(I just want an Adult XXX Padme film)
-
(I just want an Adult XXX Padme film)
But instead, we'll get the Cinemax original "Owen and Beru: A Love Story", wherein a young moisture farmer and his sexually repressed young wife travel the dusky lands of Tatooine testing their personal boundaries and searching for sexual liberation. I understand the scenes in Mos Eisley were almost too hot to release.
-
The Special Edition of the Special Editions
-
I was a Teenage Wampa
-
The Force: A Matt Lauer Story
-
(I just want an Adult XXX Padme film)
But instead, we'll get the Cinemax original "Owen and Beru: A Love Story", wherein a young moisture farmer and his sexually repressed young wife travel the dusky lands of Tatooine testing their personal boundaries and searching for sexual liberation. I understand the scenes in Mos Eisley were almost too hot to release.
Brilliant. Winner. I'd farm Beru's moisture any day. Does Tatooine have "days" anyway with those two suns?
-
I don't even recognize any references.
-
It's from a film called Star Wars TAC, it was fairly popular and successful when it was released, you should check it out sometime.
-
:lol
I'm familiar with the first one. Just not all of the other ones.
-
:lol
I'm familiar with the first one. Just not all of the other ones.
One can never be too sure with you
-
So I'm up?
-
Looks like.
-
Standings
jingle.boy 45
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 18
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
I saw a great sale and treated myself (and the family) to an early Christmas present, a Vizio 70" SmartTV. Except when I hooked it up, I kept getting an error message. It said...
-
No Twitter account detected. Please enter valid Twitter account, password and restart system.
-
Self Destruct Activated. 3lb C4 Explosive will detonate in T Minus Three Minutes.......two fifty nine.....two fifty eight.....two fifty seven..........
-
It wasn't an error message, but picture of King from Easter.
You all know which one I am talking about...
-
Stop arguing
Da fuq?
(https://replygif.net/i/656.gif)
-
(https://replygif.net/i/656.gif)
Fu duq!
-
Improper installation. Please relocate unit to a dwelling adjacent to the Jones Family.
-
Fuck you you fucking fuck
Who's the "smart" one now?
Time to hand in your man-card
-
"After you bought this and loaded it up in your car, I noticed you neglected to return your cart to the corral."
-
Error: Fluid and Flesh detected in Coax Connection you sick pervert
-
You're not man enough to handle this much winning
-
You should have sprung for the Samsung, you cheap bastard.
-
You know what they say about a man: the bigger his TV the smaller his...
-
This TV only plays the Oprah Channel.
-
Error: Fake news detected, channel incompatible with Smart TV
-
No Twitter account detected. Please enter valid Twitter account, password and restart system.
I know, this is probably too much "insider baseball", but given my recent posts over at P/R, this got a laugh out loud and therefore the win. (Jingle, you were close on this one, and Podaar actually had another that could have won as well).
-
As Jingle would say, "Know thy audience." :biggrin:
Standings:
jingle.boy 45
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
New scene: Bad times to say, "Just like Mom used to make!"
-
While getting a blow job.
-
Commenting on your wife's orgasm scream....
-
While pinching the morning loaf
Dutch Oven
Posting bail
-
Sucking on your wife's tits
-
Sucking on your wife's tits
I clicked on the thread and this is all I saw, and, oddly, I felt like I was home. :)
-
After trimming the hedges
-
While listening to your cat's forlorn yowling
-
Following your wife in the bathroom.
-
After trying out your new flesh light
-
Okay, I don't usually like to do this, but I've got to close this competition early. No one is going to beat this for at least three reasons that I can think of. :rollin
While listening to your cat's forlorn yowling
You're up, Marc!
-
Thanks Gregg! :lol I enjoyed that round, though the mental images of my mother were disturbing.
Standings:
jingle.boy 45
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
masterthes 7
TheSilentHam 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Can't contain my excitement for "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" this week, so...
New scene: Unexpected first lines delivered by Luke to Rey
-
I have a good feeling about this.
Nice ass!
DTF?
-
This climate is dry and cold so Im going to have to use the Force on you quite a bit
-
I've heard you have a little Jedi inside you. Would you like my little Jedi inside you?
-
Han didn’t happen to give you that $50 he owes me did he?
-
More fucking Star Wars? WTF??
-
You didn't bring razor blade with you by any chance did you?
-
Please pass the jelly.
-
Did you bring some soap as well? Haven’t had a good bath in a while......my taint has its own Degobah System going on if you know what i mean.
-
"This isn't about that sexual harassment complaint from 1980 is it? I swear I didn't know she was my sister! She even initiated it! I'm the victim here! #metoo"
-
Got any quarters for the Donkey Kong machine?
-
Lightsabers and chill?
-
Do you like what I've done with the place? The stairs are a bit of a bitch, but otherwise, I'm quite pleased with how it turned out.
-
And your name is?
-
Is Trump still president?
-
Tell me you brought the Wookie? I miss his musk.....
-
"Is Reagan still present?"
-
Can you take me to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters?
-
Tell me you brought the Wilkie? I miss his musk.....
Luke... isolation has really fucked with your mind, and your mouth.
-
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?
-
Stop! Hammer Time.
-
"Do you know what they call, uh, a Quarter Pounder with cheese on Coruscant?"
-
You had me at "Banta".
-
So, how's my brother in law Han these days? It's been ages since I've last seen him. Great guy, that Han
-
Have you seen the new Harry Potter film yet?
-
"None shall pass."
-
I didn't expect this to take so long
<scene or not? You decide>
-
Is the new topic "Things overheard while eavesdropping on the Jingles' bedroom?"
-
Is the new topic "Things overheard while eavesdropping on the Jingles' bedroom?"
Naaahhh... you'd have to replace "take" with "last" :zydarscouch:
-
"This is not the droid you're looking for."
-
So, how's my brother in law Han these days? It's been ages since I've last seen him. Great guy, that Han
Ok, many good ones. I went with this one. Nice job masterthes, you are up!
-
Sweet!
Standings:
jingle.boy 45
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
BlobVanDam 8
masterthes 8
El Barto 7
TheSilentHam 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
It's Christmas morning, and what do you discover underneath the Christmas tree?
-
In my house? Probably a big pile of dog shit.
-
The honor of Mary Jane.
-
A tree stand.
-
Gary Busey
Car battery and nipple clamps (Don't judge me)
-
jingle.boy with a car battery and nipple clamps.
-
jingle.boy with a car battery and nipple clamps.
:heybaby:
-
A tree stand.
Fair enough. I guess this scene wasn't that great. You're up TAC
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 45
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 8
BlobVanDam 8
TAC 7
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
New scene: Your daughter just came home and told you that she has an internship on Matt Lauer's new podcast. What is your response?
-
Well that blows.
-
<Walks to closet to check, clean and load shotgun.>
-
Take your lickle-me-Elmo to distract him.
-
You better get rid of that gag reflex if you expect to have any career advancement
-
You better get rid of that gag reflex if you expect to have any career advancement
Spoken by the man with no daughters!
-
You better get rid of that gag reflex if you expect to have any career advancement
Spoken by the man with no daughters!
***edit***
-
<Walks to closet to check, clean and load shotgun.>
Winnah!!
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 45
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 8
BlobVanDam 8
TAC 7
El Barto 7
Stadler 7
Zydar 6
TheSilentHam 6
Cool Chris 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Sorry for the delay; I'm in Orlando this week on vacation. By the way, we got a sneak peak at a new ride at Disney's Magic Kingdom, though I don't know that it's ready for the public yet. It's called...
-
Deadpool: it is huge.
-
Minnie's Muff Divers
-
It's A Small World: Animatronic president with small hands grabs your genitals.
-
Hall of Presidents - yes, it is Hilary.
-
Gators: Evade and Escape Only children under 6 can participate unaccompanied by an adult.
-
Gators: Evade and Escape Only children under 6 can participate unaccompanied by an adult.
I felt kind of bad after I stopped laughing at this.
-
Gators: Evade and Escape Only children under 6 can participate unaccompanied by an adult.
I felt kind of bad after I stopped laughing at this.
Sometimes you gotta toe the line and see where it takes ya.....might have stepped a little over on that one :\
-
Line: The Ride. No actual ride, you just wait in line
-
I don't know what it's called, but I'll bet you saw Roy Moore there.
-
Line: The Ride. No actual ride, you just wait in line
I went with this; perhaps not the funniest (that would be the Gator Pool), but it hit close to home. Two quick line stories from my last trip to Toronto and the trip to FLA:
One, guy going through the TSA Pre-check line asks the TSA agent if he "needs to take his belt off". He's wearing elastic banded sweat pants, I shit you not.
Two, we're in line for I forget what at Epcot - either the Mission to Space shuttle thing or the Spaceship Earth thing, and we're in line for about 10, 15 minutes, and the woman in front of me goes to me "is this the line for the ride?" I almost told her no but I didn't have the heart. She wasn't cute enough to get away with being that dumb.
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 45
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
TheSilentHam 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Celeb New Years resolutions for 2018
-
Taylor Swift - gonna try muff-diving
Mike Portnoy/Derek Sherinian - do a cover version of "Let it Go"
-
Bosk1 - Something Something ... Dark.. Side
-
Kingshmegland - fewer typos
Harvey Weinstein - to find real love
-
dtf.org: Fewer threads about Toto's Africa and discussions about what is a catch in the NFL.
-
dtf.org: Fewer threads about Toto's Africa and MORE discussions about what is a catch in the NFL.
Fix'd
-
Mike Portnoy/Derek Sherinian - do a cover version of "Let it Go"
That'd be awesome. You're up jingle
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 46
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
TheSilentHam 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Unexpected New Year's Eve toasts
-
"I would like to toast Billy, Ron, Jeff, and of course Mike, for helping Sons of Apollo claim their rightful place on the throne as Kings of Prog!" -Derek Sherinian
-
"I'd like to toast John Petrucci for my awesome drum sound"-Mike Mangini
-
"I'd like to toast my owner for finally washing me and letting me breathe"- Kingshmegland's Liver shirt
-
I'd like toast... no wait... I don't like toast. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
-
I'd like toast... no wait... I don't like toast. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
Despite the lack of quantity, this was quality. You're up ham.
-
Thanks Chad! :metal
Standings:
jingle.boy 46
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next Scene:
Fake news headlines about Dream Theater Forums
-
DT-side once again shows its class and wisdom about former band members.
Finally 'over' Portnoy leaving the band.
TAC was right!
Stadler concedes that someone else was right.
-
TAC and Cool Chris become founding members of the Genesis Appreciation Fan Club.
-
Jingle Boy wins a Roulette!
-
A disputed catch in an NFL game results in unanimous agreement among forum members on what the correct call should have been.
-
President Trump is repeatedly praised throughout multiple threads in the P/R Forum
-
TempusVox reveals identity to be Julian Assange.
-
Kingshmegland reportedly not a King; TheSilentHam is actually a loud crustacean; Cool Chris ... not that cool.
lonestar has a 1.3 average on Yelp.
-
Single males post on music forum about how often they get laid.
-
DTF Membership increases ten fold with primarily Hot, single Russian woman Gymnasts who are lonely due to strict training schedules and want to share countless picks and videos with the outside world.
-
"Raw Dog" Clinches First DT Survivor Championship
-
DTF Leads the crusade for a new White Stripes album.
-
Come join DTF-we agree on everything!
-
DTF Driven Petition Convinces Dream Theater to fire Mike Mangini and Re-Hire Mike Portnoy.....It's rumored James LaBrie is ecstatic about the turn of events.
-
lonestar has a 1.3 average on Yelp.
For some reason that got an actual laugh out loud. :)
-
Y'all really brought the funny ... good round and touch to judge.
This one really did get me! Back at ya JB, you are up.
lonestar has a 1.3 average on Yelp.
-
:fistpump:
Standings:
jingle.boy 47
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Next Scene:
Famous movie/TV quotes adapted for porn.
-
I’m the King of the Glory Hole!
-
Tighten up Francis.
-
"Rules? PISS ON YOUR FUCKING RULES!" - Juan Spewed Over the Cuckold's Chest
"Watchu takin' 'bout Willis" - Different Strokes
-
"Winter is cumming." - Game of Moans
-
"He Slimed Me" - ThroatBusters
-
In before Gary can get to it.
"Wax on, wax off." - The Bukkake Kid
-
"Keep friends close, but your enemas closer." - The Godwater, Part II
-
"You can't handle the girth!" - A Few Good Men
Okay, I'm done. Sorry!
-
Just when I thought I was out, they pull me right back in - The Gangbanger
-
Some of these are hilarious. This is the best one in quite a while, no offense to anyone in particular.
-
Some of these are hilarious. This is the best one in quite a while, no offense to anyone in particular.
Pr0n brings out the best in us.
Gregg... you're not done. You've got me in ya.
-
"When I was a little girl, my daddy used to spank my bare bottom. Now he's gone. Will you take his place?" - Frisky Business
-
Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I'm perfect! - Queer Science
-
"Just when I thought I was out... she pulled me back in!" - Michael in the Wadfather III
-
"Just when I thought I was out... she pulled me back in!" - Michael in the Wadfather III
5 Posts up :\
Just when I thought I was out, they pull me right back in - The Gangbanger
-
Tighten up Francis.
This takes it. Considering the actual line is my go-to whenever someone is getting antsy, it gave me the most giggles. And I'm sure I'll giggle even more whenever I tell someone "Lighten up, Francis".
Thought there'd be more entries - here was so much gold to work with here guys...
Frankly my dear, I prefer anal.
Here's splooging on you, kid
I love the smell of smile in the morning.
I'm cummin here... I'M CUMMIN HERE!!
You're gonna need a bigger cock
Nobody puts Baby in a gang-bang
I'll fuck you my pretty... and you're little dog too.
-
Yikes! Didn't expect that, thanks JB!
Standings:
jingle.boy 47
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack participation trophy 1
Next Scene:
Things the Secret Service heard outside Donald and Melania's bedroom door late at night.....
-
*Crickets*
-
That is not exactly bigly.
-
Why can't you look more like Sean Hannity?
Pass the ketchup.
-
Wow, even that's orange!
-
"Just when I thought I was out... she pulled me back in!" - Michael in the Wadfather III
5 Posts up :\
Just when I thought I was out, they pull me right back in - The Gangbanger
Yeah, I know. I just made myself laugh with "The Wadfather" and needed to post it. For myself. :)
-
Ahhhh.....my two favorite things at bed time......a snack from the Golden Arches and a spritz from the golden shower......
-
OK, I'm a newb, not the best scene but......buy an expensive piece of "meat" and then......
Pass the ketchup.
Awesome on many levels!!
Back to you JB.
-
Yikes! Didn't expect that, thanks Angel!
Standings:
jingle.boy 48
gmillerdrake 43
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack participation trophy 1
Next Scene:
How Google finishes your search "why does my ...."
-
version of Pull Me Under cut off at the end?
-
weewee smell like cheese..
-
...life suck?
-
....mother open mouth kiss me?
-
cat like sniffing asses?
-
friend who lives in Canada pronounce "About" as "Aboot?"
-
....wife open her vagina to other men’s penis’s?
-
....mother open mouth kiss me?
disturbing enough to be the winner.
-
Well thank you sir. :tup
Standings:
jingle.boy 48
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 6
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack participation trophy 1
Next Scene:
You’re very protective of your younger sibling. Their date comes over to pick them up.....you answer the door first and tell them something to discourage them from going on the date. What do you say?
-
Have a seat, she's rinsing the lice treatment and will be here in a minute.
-
Are you susceptible to skin rashes?
Don't stare at the ankle monitor. She's very self-conscious of it.
I have a very specific set of skills.
-
Perfect timing. I think her bout of herpes has calmed down by now.
*Opens door while cleaning shotgun barrel*
Hold on, I think she’s plucking her mustache...
-
Just so you know, my sister just recently started practising cannibalism
-
"Hi. You can just call me Darth."
"You're not from one of those shithole countries, are you?"
< Cocks shotgun and just stands in the door looking serenely at the kid on the front step.>
-
Hey, you don't happen to know how long it takes before animals start smelling a decomposed body, do you?
Oprah, 2020!! WOOT!
-
Don't bother, I just banged her.
-
Sure, come on in, make yourself at home. She’ll be down in a bit. I’d guess she’s just about finished with fucking the guy she went out with this morning.
EDIT: Goddamn it. Beaten to it.
-
Dude... you never noticed the Adam's apple?!!
-
Hi. I'm Joe. May I call you Punching Bag?
-
Don't bother, I just banged her.
This is so wrong. And I love me some wrong.
You’re up!
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 48
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack participation trophy 1
Next Scene:
Dream Theater decides to do a follow up to the Astonishing. The title is.....
-
Derek and Mike Can Suck It.
-
Scenes From An Ex's Memory
-
Derek and Mike Can Suck It.
:rollin :rollin :rollin
BAM!! Instant Winner!
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 49
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
Stadler 6
JayOctavarium 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack participation trophy 1
Since we're still early enough in January....
Unexpected New Year's resolutions from a significant other.
-
I resolve to find someone with a bigger c*** this year.
I resolve to gain back all that weight I lost after the second baby.
I resolve hit triple digits in sexual partners this year.
-
I resolve to actually take those birth control pills you thought I have been taking.
-
Do these topics really suck that bad? Guess I can play the game like a boss, but can't host it worth shit. :lol
-
Mrs. Jingle to Jingleboy: "This year I resolve to help you come up with better topics for Scenes From A Hat."
*shrug*
-
Mrs. Jingle to Jingleboy: "This year I resolve to help you come up with better topics for Scenes From A Hat."
I genuinely got a solid lol out of this. You're up Jay.
-
:corn
-
Goddamnit.
Someone wanna take this for me?
I've been balls deep in work and completely forgot.
I should stop contributing lmao
-
I would, but I suck at setting up a scene. :D
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 49
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Stadler 7
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack participation trophy 1
I'll step up: The inscription on the best Valentine's Day card you ever sent (or wished you sent):
(EDIT: Damn you, TAC! :) )
-
The best Valentine's Day CAR??
Drive me!
-
(https://dailysnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/FalconsNew.jpg)
Roses are red
Violets are blue
And that's what your balls will be
Cuz I ain't goin down on you
-
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Put on some Winger
And go fuck yourself
-
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll take jingle.boy
Anytime over you
Signed, Mrs TAC
-
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll take jingle.boy
Anytime over you
Signed, Mrs TAC
You got some real penis envy...................MINE! ;D
-
Surprise buttsex??
It ain't gonna suck itself.
I wanna five-knuckle-shuffle your moose knuckle
-
Look, I'm not going to drag this out longer than it needs to go.
The Falcons reference was a clear winner from the moment I read it. If nothing else, Jingle knows his audience! You're up, bud!
-
Yay... now I have the dubious task of coming up with another scene - which I suck at!
Will contemplate, and try to remember before the end of the weekend.
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 50
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Stadler 7
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Snow Dog 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Things you can say about you iPhone/Android, but you can't about your significant other.
-
I can’t figure out how to turn it off....
-
Yeah, I think I’m due for an upgrade soon.
-
The face is pretty large, but it doesn’t seem that bright...
-
Out of memory again?
-
It’s bulky, it’s slow, and if you don’t push the right buttons, it won’t even get turned on.
I’m so tired of it correcting everything I’m trying to say.
-
The autocorrect has been on for 13 years and literally corrects everything I attempt to communicate
-
How do I get out of this plan?
-
No resistance, feels re-energized, and needs getting prodded often in the rear.
-
This thing has had multiple users and I think it has a virus
-
Lots of good ones here, but
I’m so tired of it correcting everything I’m trying to say.
Winna!!
-
Sweet. Thanks!
Standings:
jingle.boy 50
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Stadler 7
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Next scene:
Movies most unlikely to be turned into theme park rides.
-
Pulp Fiction - don't say "What?"
Flight
-
Saw
-
Fight Club
Running Man
-
Running Man
***thread hijack*** Love that movie!!! It'd be neat to see a re-make with modern tech....anyway, carry on.....
-
Romancing the Bone
Yank My Doodle, It's a Dandy
Weapons of Ass Destruction VII
-
Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe.
Final Destination 3.
Kramer vs Kramer.
12 Years a Slave.
-
Pulp Fiction - don't say "What?"
Probably my favorite scene in any movie ever. This got the biggest laugh. Back at you, JB.
-
Pulp Fiction - don't say "What?"
Probably my favorite scene in any movie ever. This got the biggest laugh. Back at you, JB.
Damn... I thought Saw was gonna take it. I'll see what I can come up with.
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 51
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Stadler 7
Zydar 6
Cool Chris 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Next scene:
Unexpected/inappropriate ice cream flavours.
-
Just for you Chad... Poutine.
-
Nookie and Cream
Chalky Chode
Booty Frutti
Butterscotch Nipple
Snickerdoodie
-
Cumquad
-
Fingerbang Fudge
Creamy Colon
Breast Milk
Pistachio 'N Pussy
Peanut Plop
-
Just for you Chad... Poutine.
This would certainly be unexpected. We do have poutine flavoured potato chips, but I can't imagine curds 'n gravy ice cream. :lol
You're up Chris
-
jingle.boy 51
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
TempusVox 20
kingshmegland 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Stadler 7
Cool Chris 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
The 2022 Winter Olympics will be the first Winter Olympics to feature the new sport of...
-
Spelling Bee: Yellow snow edition
Polar Bear triathalon
-
Snowball fighting
Snowball baseball
Avalanche surfing
-
Icycle Deepthroating
-
Sunbathing
Car washing - my 70 year old Portuguese neighbour will be a gold-medal candidate for sure.
Ice fishing
-
I'm going cynical:
- Neo-Biathalon: Cross country ski for 5km, then snap five selfies and get them posted to social media in the lowest time.
- Medical Mass Start: You need to get a medical marijuana card for air quotes "anxiety", then pack five bowls (short program) and roll ten doobies (the long program). Competitors are judged on both artistic and technical merit.
-
Polar Plunge 100m
-
Shriveled Testicle Challenge
-
Ice Pole Vaulting.
-
Highbeam flashing
-
Best Global Warming Denial Statement
-
Manscaping Luge.
-
Naked Curling
-
Naked Curling
Every Saturday night bro.
-
Bobsleigh Douche -Womens Team
Bobsleigh Enema- Mens Team
Each sled has a hole cut out into the bottom. Teams are judged not by time, but by how much slush gets stuck in their orifice.
Biathlon Bingo- Highly skilled and expertly trained biathletes shoot at AR 15 owners who'vs publicly declared AR weapons aren't assault rifles, using the owners own rifles.
Frozen Tweet - Individual outdoor game where people are forced to post the most error free tweets in 5 minutes after dipping their hands in water. The Kardashian sisters are odds on favorites already.
-
Discrete Kidney Harvesting
-
Manscaping Luge.
I can't even imagine what this would be like. Still didn't keep me from laughing. Go!
-
Manscaping Luge.
I can't even imagine what this would be like. Still didn't keep me from laughing. Go!
Good call. I feel like there's blood involved in there, and at least one cringe-worthy moment or two. Like watching someone get punched in the nuts. :)
-
jingle.boy 51
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Stadler 7
Cool Chris 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
New scene: You find out that Trump & Obama are drinking buddies. You walk up to them and say.....
-
How does it feel to be the two guys other than Bill to fuck Hillary?
-
Bueller, Bueller, Bueller...
-
I thought Baron looked a little dark.
-
Nice work asshats.
Thanks Obama
I kept my Doctor alright ... Dr. Gupta - but now he's been detained by ICE.
-
I feel like if that scenario was to actually happen, it might be because I'd be delivering flowers with a card that said "Thank you SO much! Love, George W. Bush's Legacy".
-
Tee-time, gentlemen.
-
So.....which one of you is Hitler again?
-
Hey Donnie! Let's all three take a little ride, okay? We're gonna take a drive out to the Pine Barrens, and see a guy about a thing. It'll be fine. Get in the front seat there. Barry's gonna drive. You can take the bottle with you. We'll be back in bit, and we can go play golf, okay?
Barry, did you put the shovels in the trunk like I asked you to?
-
I feel like if that scenario was to actually happen, it might be because I'd be delivering flowers with a card that said "Thank you SO much! Love, George W. Bush's Legacy".
I giggled at this. Winna!
-
Thank you, sir; give me a moment to brainstorm a scenario...
-
jingle.boy 51
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
Stadler 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Cool Chris 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Gene $immons has taken the art of commerce to a new level. NOW he's selling the Kiss logo on ...
-
Albums that are actually good, so as to make it appear KISS released quality music.
-
...Daraprim bottles.
-
Sons of Apollo CDs
MAGA hats (now MKGA)
Stadler's business cards
Red Bull... so you really can Rock 'n' Roll All Nite
DTF P/R threads
-
Stadler style oxford shirts
-
Air
-
Sons of Apollo CDs
MAGA hats (now MKGA)
Stadler's business cards
Red Bull... so you really can Rock 'n' Roll All Nite
DTF P/R threads
You kill me :hefdaddy
-
For the record, I would buy both of them (the shirts and the business cards).
-
Donkey Saddles
-
On Vinnie Vincent. Wait, that's a bad idea.
-
AR-15's (too soon?)
Iron Maiden tee-shirts.
Tempus Vox books.
-
Embroidered KISS logo on rear Jean pockets
-
Penitentiary Jump Suits
-
Church collection plates
-
AR-15's (too soon?)
Iron Maiden tee-shirts.
Tempus Vox books.
if you followed the recent interview where Paul Stanley supposedly "made" his interviewer take off his Maiden shirt and put on a Kiss one...
Nice job. You're up.
-
AR-15's (too soon?)
Iron Maiden tee-shirts.
Tempus Vox books.
if you followed the recent interview where Paul Stanley supposedly "made" his interviewer take off his Maiden shirt and put on a Kiss one...
Nice job. You're up.
Indeed I did. ;) Will post a new scene later.
-
jingle.boy 52
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 19
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
Stadler 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Cool Chris 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Boy Scout badges most people haven't heard of
-
Kielbasa in One Gulp
Troop Leader Tickle Fight - Private
Troop Leader Tickle Fight - Group
Brown Star Orienteering
-
Mastering the Canadian Spirit
101 Uses for a Maple Leaf
Sub Zero Masturbation Techniques
-
Highest number of "Your favorites of these <Insert band/era here> songs created in the General Music subforum of dtf.org.
-
The 'No Hands' Boy Scout Salute
-
Most commas - and dashes, parentheses (and other, miscellaneous punctuation) - in a forum post.
-
Inspiring scenes from a hat theme badge.
-
Best Meth from Scratch
-
Inspiring scenes from a hat theme badge.
Given my suckage at this lately, this seems the most appropriate.
Give us a good one Gregg.
-
I never got the merit badge either, but I'll take the victory! :)
Brainstorming...
-
jingle.boy 52
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 20
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
TheSilentHam 8
Stadler 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Cool Chris 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Graffiti in the DTF bathroom.
-
EPICVIEW was here
-
Member poll: WildRanger or KevShmev
For a good time, call AndyDT
-
But Her E-Mails!!!
-
[Insert my longest post in the P/R Forum]
- Stadler, 2018
-
Happy Vlasto Day!
Caption this!
-
Pirates Unite!
-
Poll: Why are you here? A. #1 B. #2 C. Kevin Moore
-
Rank the best part of this stall:
1. The smell
2. The seat
3. The toilet paper
4. The power of the flush
You can pick any two.
[Then there will be a scrawl underneath: "You forgot to mention the height of the bowl."]
-
TV is Stephenie Meyer!
Poll: Why are you here? A. #1 B. #2 C. Kevin Moore
This one got a good laugh out of me. You're up, Hammy.
-
Thank you Podaarius!
jingle.boy 52
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 20
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
TheSilentHam 9
BlobVanDam 8
Stadler 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Cool Chris 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Next: Bosk1 wants to boost dtf membership among the Millennial target demographic. The new dtf advertising slogan is...
-
dtf.org: Now endorsing Bernie Sanders, a $15 minimum wage, rent control, 90% tax brackets on the wealthy, and a sub-forum dedicated to the Kardashians.
-
DTF.org, a safe space. Except when it's a space of BEING ON FIRE!
-
Sign up now and we’ll include a free SPY CAM so you can make sure your mom is staying on top of your laundry and making you that sammich.....all so you don’t have to pause your Fortnite session
-
Comes with the DTF app.
-
Get your own emot code!
-
We may all have penises, but we respect everyone's gender identity.
-
New Selfie Forum
(Access by permission only)
-
Comes with free Y&T instruction manual.
-
Participation ribbons for all!
-
DTF.org where every day is Vlasto Day, and Kevin Moore is king.
-
Take your time, and look around. This is utopia you've found!
-
DTF now in 4G LTE UHD3D & THC
-
dtf.org: Now endorsing Bernie Sanders, a $15 minimum wage, rent control, 90% tax brackets on the wealthy, and a sub-forum dedicated to the Kardashians.
Nice job all - this one had girth. Nice job cool chris
-
jingle.boy 52
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 20
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
TheSilentHam 9
BlobVanDam 8
Stadler 8
Cool Chris 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Shigeru Miyamoto developed Mario, who became the face of Nintendo for decades to come. He wasn't always a plumber though, their original plan was for Mario to be a:
-
A barrel maker?
-
Hit Man
-
The ‘stache says it all.
-
Kingshmegland
-
A retired CIA Agent...
"I don't-a know who you- a are. I don't-a know what'sa you want. If you are looking-a for-a ransom, I can tell you I don't-a have-a no money. But what I do have-a are a very particular set of-a skills, skills I have-a acquired over a very long-a career. Skills that make-a me a nightmare for people like-a you. If you let-a the princess a-go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not-a look-a for you, I will not-a pursue you. But if you don't-a, I will-a look-a for you, I will-a find you, and I will-a kill you...Ciao"
-
Deuce Bigalo
-
Sixth member of the Village People.
The replacement for Chris Collins as singer of Dream Theater.
-
Mild mannered shoe salesman in Midland City.
-
The Princesses personal 'gimp'......red gag ball and crate included.
-
Livestock proctologist.
-
Sixth member of the Village People.
This was funny. Go!
Why is jingle-boy now Rainbow Dash? (yes I have a 6 year old daughter I know who Rainbow Dash is).
-
Lost a bet.
-
jingle.boy 52
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 20
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
TheSilentHam 9
Stadler 9
BlobVanDam 8
Cool Chris 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
"Lost a bet". Right. Sure. We've all used that excuse. The REAL reason Jingle has a "Rainbow Dash" avatar is:
-
jingle.wife bought him a Squatty Potty for his upcoming Colonoscopy.
-
He's Canadian....what do you expect?
-
Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie were already taken.
-
He’s um....transitioning.
-
Because Fluttershy was already taken. :omg:
-
He wanted to match the 'tramp stamp' tat he got during Spring Break 92'. It's special to him....one of two matching tats that only he and a man he knows as Roberto have to memorialize that 'special' night they shared.
-
"You mean it's NOT a Pokémon??"
-
To commemorate the first time he 'tasted' the Rainbow
-
He wanted a more bitchin avatar than Stadler.
Just like in P/R, he wanted his avatar to be the ying to Stadler's yang.
-
That avatar tickles his anus.
-
Pretty sure he tickled his anus before changing avatars.
-
Pretty sure he tickled his anus before changing avatars.
Pretty sure Mrs. TAC did the tickling.
-
Pretty sure one asshole is enough.
-
He wanted something of his to be hung like a shetland pony.
-
Not a caption, but there's nothing like the real thing, bitches.
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/p6S651lt90RjBdAASrRRSHcwXQI6dB4m38ITZTebxRt3h7-BEpKlKmDViL4GrNO9jAJQvTIZ6J1E5PaLtXgtH-SnMuHN7valCrNCn02pgraOcmAYQOd2ttcE3znAVsh3q1ZgLf7Oq8xxo65b3AqwSJhf4M4yc83sMO-3ZFiT7oOXvZbRMw-KRy4TQo0bND4NpEfRE1Iz3a-uRBwnuw4JWs1CnXl1II6e8s4Xwdqw09HwaHQYwvdZretJ6nf--AIopWWHbViK2o5IoANCmoC4UZmpBq9cZAIxE4Fbhd6uS364mdI5fQTreLr9woHy-lRYkKmCkVhNSYqwAiV4Wa09j4906aZn_0p6XU1fWVK01QrMCGAtX-1m4LGVbvZo2IKWBBMPKowvYmhxF5uNkW0hm-PWU79r5CGGyL9zJxoErjgubHaRpYM4oKaOTJevkwuKKdrZ2EqWuHR0dy3MALeGsFVfdNe5eBv2QC-yg1LpolVS7YvRhYvjW50tI8L0cs7NhcNcff5iUvgLhSOwye7ltJN2H8sLVo2M1nsA8FP0_a8o8edHFz5rePmBztNc6ri2fQ2zxAzQV1bxsLx9Gz8uNR2piTnjISywVouogD5_LqxNLQ8EM-zsY3h-dvRKAHRVN29LXM1fjfUSSLgOcsRR_bAsvkEhd1vF=w398-h284-no)
-
Not a caption, but Chris, when did you turn into a psycho?
-
Not a caption, but man you must have a tiny dick to be able to hump that thing.
-
Not a caption, but Chris, when did you turn into a psycho?
Around the time my second daughter was born.
-
Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie were already taken.
I don't know who those people are, but now that I'm scared of you, you win. :)
-
jingle.boy 52
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 20
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
masterthes 9
TheSilentHam 9
Stadler 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
I don't know who those people are, but now that I'm scared of you, you win. :)
Don't you have at least one daughter? They are My Little Ponies.
Next scene: Rejected Mortal Kombat characters and their associated fatality maneuvers.
-
Rainbow Dash - Taste the rainbow.
-
Don't you have at least one daughter? They are My Little Ponies.
Polly Pockets was big in my house.
-
Polly Pockets?? Touching your self in Junior High?? :lol
I don't even know WTF Mortal Combat is so I'm sitting this one out.
-
Sir Sexual Magic.
"Finish Him!!!"
Uses his Dayman Solar Friendship Karate Blast!
-
Mike Portnoy - finisher is to make them have a conversation with Sherinian.
Stadler, whose finisher is "common sense"
-
Stadler, whose finisher is "common sense"
With posts like that, my finisher is grinding my teeth. My finisher is also inhaling copious amounts of humor. Roomfuls of humor. :)
-
Italian Grandma, Nona; finisher is serving dinner.
Flatulance Phil; I think you know the finisher
-
Not many submissions so I will extend this and open to include forum members and their fatalities as well.
-
Does everyone have a finisher?
-
Does everyone have a finisher?
Yup... yours is quicker than most though.
-
Does everyone have a finisher?
Yup... yours is quicker than most though.
Hey, at least I have a starter.
-
My finisher is also inhaling copious amounts of humor. Roomfuls of humor. :)
Winner, by virtue of self-deprecating humor.
-
jingle.boy 52
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 20
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Stadler 10
masterthes 9
TheSilentHam 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
TAC 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Double digits! At this point, I should catch Jingle around my 65th birthday!
They recently leaked several teams rulebooks for cheerleaders. https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/no-sweatpants-in-public-inside-the-rule-books-for-nfl-cheerleaders/ar-AAvo5oR?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=ientp I haven't read any, but I understand that some teams don't let them wear sweatpants in public. Have any of you read this? Do any of you know some of the OTHER rules for NFL cheerleaders?
-
Pretty sure you can't be on your period while wearing the Home Whites.
-
Must be able to handle (5) Pom Poms at once
-
They are not permitted to stay at a Holiday Inn Express during away games.
-
The rules to crack down on ..um...head injuries apparently have no teeth.
-
Section 7.208.D. Each girl shall report to the designated vomit stall in the cheer locker room no later than 30 minutes prior to take time in order for weigh in, and to make weight if necessary.
-
Rule #3. All cheerleaders with Borderline Personality Disorder must cover their butterfly tattoos at all times.
-
In order for maximum cheer amperage......must not have a gag reflex to interfere with vocalizing.
-
If Michael Bennett wants to get by you, GET THE HELL OUT OF HIS WAY.
-
The rules to crack down on ..um...head injuries apparently have no teeth.
I thought this would have more legs, but I guess I really don't know funny, so... I'll award the best pun. You're up.
-
Shoot. Guess I'm not paying attention!
jingle.boy 52
gmillerdrake 44
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 20
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Stadler 10
masterthes 9
TheSilentHam 9
Cool Chris 9
TAC 8
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
60 minutes just aired an expose on Allegient Air. Among the faulty maintainance records, the most startling revelation was.....
-
They never bothered to fix the drink cart after Yngwie unleashed the fyoory.
-
What they found when using a black light.
Itineraries from Holiday Inn Express in lieu of Engineering Degrees.
Seeing grown men naked.
Al Capone's tomb.
-
Failure to treat wings with gremlin repellent
-
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41QJ5mT9i1L._SY355_.jpg)
-
...every mechanic is required to carry a can of WD-40, a Phillips screwdriver, a roll of duct tape, and all maintenance records are to be written in pencil.
-
The Lead Supervisor’s name was MacGuyver
-
Animal is one of their pilots.
-
The CEO graduated from Trump University.
-
Sorry people, I completely forgot!
Gonna give this one to Gary because we were thinking on the same wavelength.
The Lead Supervisors name was MacGuyver
I would've said this guy, though:
(https://d2z1w4aiblvrwu.cloudfront.net/ad/AZ0b/flex-seal-liquid-brush-it-roll-it-dip-it-pour-it-large-3.jpg)
-
Thank you Sir!
jingle.boy 52
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 20
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Stadler 10
masterthes 9
TheSilentHam 9
Cool Chris 9
TAC 8
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Next Scene:
Your Roommate abruptly moves out....as he/she leaves they turn to you and say **this** is the reason they're leaving.
-
I turned a blacklight on in the kitchen last night. Jesus, man! What the hell is wrong with you?
My sense of smell finally returned.
I just can't live with someone who leaves their shopping cart in the parking lot.
-
"You won't stop playing Genesis!"
-
"You won't stop playing Genesis!"
SEGA. Genesis.
-
"I moved all of my drums out last night. We're taking "Psychotic Symphony" on tour. "
-
I can't keep arguing with you about this.... For the last time, we are all supposed to return our carts to the corral.
-
Two words: "Kiss fan".
-
I am sick ... of all these MOTHER FUCKING SNAKES, in this MOTHER FUCKING APARTMENT!
-
bump....need a couple more for this scene:
"Your Roommate abruptly moves out....as he/she leaves they turn to you and say **this** is the reason they're leaving."
-
I refuse to live with someone that calls themselves Jingle Boy.
-
https://i.imgur.com/P0k0SCh.jpg
This Scene made me think of this.
-
"I'm leaving because you don't even know how to spell "fuckin'".
-
Seems like a good enough reason.....you win. :tup
"I'm leaving because you don't even know how to spell "fuckin'".
-
Thank you Sir!
jingle.boy 52
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 20
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Stadler 11
masterthes 9
TheSilentHam 9
Cool Chris 9
TAC 8
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Next Scene:
So this "Laurel/Yanny" thing seems to be legit. I just clicked on "Sons Of Apollo" and heard __________
-
A Flop on Solos
Menopause
Eat my ass and balls
-
Rock music my dad would like.
-
Suck it LaBrie!
-
What is Laurel/Yanny?
-
Crappy keyboard patches that sounded dated 20 years ago.
-
A poor mans Symphony X
-
“Jordan Rudess sucks.”
-
Pomp and Circumstance
The audio equivalent of one massive pretentious ego
Sonic masturbation
-
Careers ending?
-
Ladies and Gentlemen.. Mr. Conway Twitty
-
Derek taking one for the team.
-
One is standing out. I can either call it now, or let it go a day or two more. What say you guys?
-
What say you guys?
Laurel
-
One is standing out. I can either call it now, or let it go a day or two more. What say you guys?
Call it out because I don't even know WTF we're talking about.
-
Suck it LaBrie!
I heard that in Daryl Hammond's Sean Connery voice and that was that.
-
Suck it LaBrie!
I heard that in Daryl Hammond's Sean Connery voice and that was that.
Schuck it LaBrie! :lol
Will get a new scene up tomorrow.
-
jingle.boy 53
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 20
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Stadler 11
masterthes 9
TheSilentHam 9
Cool Chris 9
TAC 8
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Next Scene:
Unexpected response from a priest with your admission of sin during confession
-
So does this mean you won’t suck my dick?
-
Pshhhh.....lightweight. I once skinned a live kitten and spanked a hookers a$$ with it while getting felatio from a one eyed donkey with no teeth.
-
That boy you confessed to molesting? Don't feel too bad about it. It's not the first time he's been molested *wink wink
-
That’s nothing. Ask your wife about last Tuesday night.....trust me.
-
Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
-
Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
:lol
-
But did you use the Lord's name in vain because your bitch wouldn't stop talking?
-
Pshhhh.....lightweight. I once skinned a live kitten and spanked a hookers a$$ with it while getting felatio from a one eyed donkey with no teeth.
But really, who hasn't??
Sorry Gare... Airplane references will almost always win:
Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
Although, 'ever seen a grown man naked' would've been even better. Still, quiet piggy is up.
-
Sorry Gare... Airplane references will almost always win:
Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
Although, 'ever seen a grown man naked' would've been even better. Still, quiet piggy is up.
Well, it's what came to mind as I was hanging around a gymnasium.
jingle.boy 53
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 20
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Stadler 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
TAC 8
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Realizing that orchestrating another car crash is out of the question, Queen Elizabeth the II comes up with a new plan to dispose of Meghan, Duchess of Sussex...
-
(https://www.trbimg.com/img-5b02f40f/turbine/sd-oakland-bbq-controversy-20180521/650/650x366)
-
She plans to trap her in a room with Marillion playing non-stop, hoping she will kill herself.
-
Two points, two flats and a packet of gravel.
-
"Hello... Vlad? Vlad.... VLAD, oh Christ, enough about how you planted the US President already. Nobody in Europe gives a shit. Look, I've got important matters I need your help with. Got any more of that Novichok handy in London?"
-
"Here Meghan. I hear Spinal Tap is looking for a drummer...."
-
I know it’s weird......he received college scholarship money based off of being a foreign born student yet that pretty Hawaii certificate says he was born there?
-
By having her hang out with Russell Brand. He'll drive anybody out of Great Britain.
-
I know it’s weird......he received college scholarship money based off of being a foreign born student yet that pretty Hawaii certificate says he was born there?
Got my threads mixed up. Thought Chads pic was a Caption pic :loser: :facepalm:
-
"Y'know Meghan, I've heard that Kendrick Lamar is inviting people on stage to rap some of his songs. You should go to one of his concerts and do that. But don't leave any words out, even the n-word! I hear he hates when people censor his songs."
-
One game of ‘Deal or No Deal’......winner take all.....all of nothing.
-
Place a call to Winston Wolf.
-
Next birthday gift:
(https://www.fanrek.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/29b82db22504fb0479cf1248d4fc542c/s/t/star_trek_tos_engineering_red_shirt_uniform_costume_1_.jpg)
-
"Meghan, this is the Queen; I'd love for you to come to the palace and meet some friends of mine. An associate of mine, Silvio Dante, will be by to drive you to the castle."
"Meghan, Harry would like you to join him in London for a speech he's giving; I've left a plane ticket for you. Check in early if you want a good seat; Southwest seating is first come first served." (Too soon?)
-
"Meghan, I'm glad you're still healthy. Harry didn't catch AIDS until he fucked his 500th girl."
-
"Meghan, this is the Queen; I'd love for you to come to the palace and meet some friends of mine. An associate of mine, Silvio Dante, will be by to drive you to the castle."
"Meghan, Harry would like you to join him in London for a speech he's giving; I've left a plane ticket for you. Check in early if you want a good seat; Southwest seating is first come first served." (Too soon?)
Sorry for the delay... out of commission a few days. Sopranos ref. got me! you are up Stadler
-
Well, it's what came to mind as I was hanging around a gymnasium.
jingle.boy 53
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 20
Stadler 12
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
TAC 8
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Ugh. I'm struggling for ideas, here.
Okay, so Kim Kardashian was photographed in the Oval Office with Donald Trump. I have it on good authority that immediately after the photo was taken she texted Kanye and said...
-
Donald is signing an executive order requiring us to go the fuck away. We don't have to leave the country, just get the hell out of the pop culture consciousness.
-
His hands really are tiny!
-
Melania is actually an enhanced, upgraded ‘Real Doll’
-
"....he called my ass Fake News."
-
"...he asked me if I had ever heard of Monica Lewinski."
-
He asked me if "feckless" was a complimentary tern.
-
"...he asked if I would join his Cabinet as the Secretary Of Ass."
-
"...he asked if I would join his Cabinet as the Secretary Of Ass."
But I told him I'm more of an Ambassador
-
"...he asked if I would join his Cabinet as the Secretary Of Ass."
But I told him I'm more of an Ambassador
:neverusethis:
-
He asked me if "feckless" was a complimentary tern.
If you followed with "what's "feckless" mean", you might have sealed the deal right there. ;)
-
I bounced a couple ideas around my head with the "feckless" theme, had a hard time deciding which one to go with.
-
Me so howny!
-
I asked if the White House chefs ever prepared some dim sum, and he asked why the kitchen staff would adjust the brightness of the lights.
-
SMH. He asked me why I was so interested in getting an old lady prison reefer! ::)
-
He asked me if HPV and HIV were the same thing?
-
He kept going on about how he once met the real slim shady.
-
"...he asked if I would join his Cabinet as the Secretary Of Ass."
But I told him I'm more of an Ambassador
So, it was a tie because of these.... but I'm giving it to Jingle because of this:
He kept going on about how he once met the real slim shady.
-
Wahoo! Finally I get a W from jumping on top of someone else's submission. :fistpump:
jingle.boy 54
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
kingshmegland 21
TempusVox 20
Podaar 20
Stadler 12
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
TAC 8
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Unusual or disastrous responses to the Border Agent when asked "Purpose of your visit?"
-
Where's all the white women at?
-
“‘Rocket Man’ is one of my favorite songs and I wanted to meet him.”
-
I came to see if Lars Ulrich was an ass or not.
-
To unload the 7 pounds of cocaine I have crammed up my a$$
-
The idiots in my country put cheese curds and gravy on their french fries.
-
“As an American citizen, I don’t have to answer why I’m re-entering my own country. Am I being detained?”
-
The idiots in my country put cheese curds and gravy on their french fries.
(https://replygif.net/i/533.gif)
-
"Passport please?"
"Certainly, Comrade. I hiv all uv my papers rrright in my hans." (It's hard to write in a Russian accent.)
-
"Purpose of your visit?"
"Goddamnit Joe, its me Miguel! We work together! This shit isn't funny anymore!"
-
"Goddamnit Joe, its me Miguel! We work together! This shit isn't funny anymore!"
Winner... better give it to him quick while he's still poking around the forum.
-
Wow! Started to feel like Joseph McCarthy was picking winners. (look him up kids) :biggrin:
jingle.boy 54
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 21
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 12
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
TAC 8
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Your next scene...
Inappropriate topics of conversation with the Queen at the recent Royal wedding reception.
-
You Majesty, how about that new book by Tempus Vox?
-
Your Majesty; how about that "Suits", eh? Quite the show. Did you see the scene in the file room? Hubba, hubba!"
-
What's with all the chicks and the fuckin hats?
You know, once you go black, you never go back.
-
I would so like to bang Meghan Markle.
Which Queen am I talking to here? :lol
-
When does this thing wrap up? I forgot to program the DVR for Coronation Street
-
*crop dust*
-
You know that gal Helen Mirren who played you in the movie? She's done some nude scenes before, ya know. Sometimes I watch those scenes and imagine it's you.
-
Harry is sure a lucky guy. You know she’s better than Kate, right?
-
Pardon me......do you have any Grey Poupon?
-
Will you be grabbing the garter tonight?
-
Let’s be honest......how many of the Crown Jewels have you fit into your keister?
-
Is Phillip REALLY hung like a Shetland Pony?
-
"How about those Patriots, eh?"
-
So an online pal of mine, Wildranger, is running a poll: tampon or maxi pad?
-
What's with all the chicks and the fuckin hats?
Winner! You're up.
-
jingle.boy 55
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 21
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 12
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
TAC 8
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
AngelBack 1
Your next scene...
Wikileaks got a hold of the entire Secret Service texting history (ie, for Trump, Obama and Bush). Some interesting tidbits were...
-
Agent 1 to Agent 2: " We will be guarding Melania and Ivanka at the beach today, Operation code-Deploy Warheads".
-
" These pretzels are making me thirsty! "
-
Hey guys Clinton just handed me a fine Maduro but I think his humidor is on the fritz.
-
“Operation Famous Kims is going well. We’ve gotten Ms. Kardashian and Mr. Jong-Il without a problem, but who’s going to break the news about Kimbo Slice to the president?”
-
“Operation Famous Kims is going well. We’ve gotten Ms. Kardashian and Mr. Jong-Il without a problem, but who’s going to break the news about Kimbo Slice to the president?”
I'd say you've been gone so long - 4 fuckin years!
-
“Operation Famous Kims is going well. We’ve gotten Ms. Kardashian and Mr. Jong-Il without a problem, but who’s going to break the news about Kimbo Slice to the president?”
I'd say you've been gone so long - 4 fuckin years!
I actually didn’t have that much sex during them, so there are more accurate ways to summarize that time frame
-
Normally, a Seinfeld reference would be a shoe-in, until...
Hey guys Clinton just handed me a fine Maduro but I think his humidor is on the fritz.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
AngelBlack, yer up
-
Holy crap, AngelBlack; if that's who I think it is, that's a both awesome and nauseating all at the same time.
-
Holy crap, AngelBlack; if that's who I think it is, that's a both awesome and nauseating all at the same time.
I remember seeing that 'shop back in during the campaign. You're assessment is spot on, Bill.
-
Thanks JB!
jingle.boy 55
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 21
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 12
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
TAC 8
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Your next scene...
We all know DT just entered the studio for DT14. In the initial planning meeting JP was heard to say, "OK guys, for this album we have to really shake things up. For THIS album......."
-
.... I called Chad Kroeger to see if he wants to write some songs.
.... Jordan, I want you to send out a tweet: "There will be NO CHEESE, No apps, no screechy vocals... we are going to reclaim our throne as Prog Rock Gods!"
-
....all instruments will be played with our genitals.......James, your singing in farts......
-
I got this wicked guitar sound that is like a tiramisu!
James, we want your input.
-
We need more cowbell...
-
We need more cowbell...
I got a fever!
-
...the only percussion will be maracas and tambourines.
-
... we're going to do a duets album with Tony Bennett.
-
... how does everyone feel about Prog-Country?
-
WWBD.... What Would Bieber Do?
-
Holy crap, AngelBlack; if that's who I think it is, that's a both awesome and nauseating all at the same time.
Sooo......stipulating that the photo is accurate......would you?
-
Holy crap, AngelBlack; if that's who I think it is, that's a both awesome and nauseating all at the same time.
Sooo......stipulating that the photo is accurate......would you?
Of course.
-
"I have to play faster, and Jordan will be playing a kazoo."
-
"...I'm adding this album by this band called Sons Of Apollo to the Inspiration Corner. Anyone ever heard of them?"
-
I've got this idea for a track tentatively named "I just threw up in my mouth a little", and we're gonna use Clinton photoshopped into a skimpy MAGA bikini for the liner notes.
-
Honorable mention to GMiller because I like to revert to my 13 year old self as often as possible. But TV takes it because of the concept of JP thinking he needs to play faster!
"I have to play faster, and Jordan will be playing a kazoo."
-
Wow! Thanks! Didn't see this until just now...
jingle.boy 55
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 22
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 12
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
TAC 8
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Your next scene...
Public Service Announcements you’ll never hear...
-
Gangbang tonight at 7:00. Be sure to get in early.
-
All roads lead to Kevin.... the Moore you know.
-
Please stay clear of Harvey Fierstein, especially if you're a potted plant.
-
Lessons on "How to budget wisely, and spend economically," presented by your local Democrat.
-
Adults to the left; children to the right.
(Too soon?)
Blue Haired specials... 4pm in the bingo hall.
I'm Robert DeNiro, here to offer advice on how to make acceptance speeches.
Attention shoppers.... get the fuck out of Wal-Mart already. What the hell is wrong with you people??
-
(from the too old and overused but I still like file)
This is your captain speaking. We are making our final approach. Please return your stewardess to upright position.
-
"The Attorney General of the United States, Jeff Sessions, welcomes you to the United States!"
-
Welcome to Barnes and Noble. Hurry and snap up one of the remaining copies of TempusVox's latest best seller.
-
"Welcome to SAMS....we promise not to harass you to try our food samples"
-
"Hi, I'm Charlie Sheen...."
"Hi, I'm Peter Fonda...."
-
"Mike Portnoy here.....Just want to let you know that this year I'm only going to play with one band"
-
I'm Robert DeNiro, here to offer advice on how to make acceptance speeches.
Winner...you're up!
-
jingle.boy 56
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 22
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 12
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
TAC 8
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 4
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Your next scene...
Keeping on the celebrity theme .... Celebrity endorsements doomed to fail.
-
Bill Cosby here! I get all my pills from Liberty Medical!
-
"Ambien: Bring our your inner racist" <Roseanne Barr voiceover>
-
Hi, I'm Jameis Winston from the NFL and when I need a ride I call Uber!
-
"Hi...Jerry Sandusky here for the Boy Scouts of America..."
"Remember me? I'm O.J. Simpson. In the kitchen, nothing beats a Wustof Classic chef's knife".
"I'm Jared Fogle. Looking for the finest camera money can buy? Look no further than the Nikon D850 FX!"
"I'm Donald Trump. Let me tell you about the good work being done by the beautiful people at the United Nations Foundation. It's yuuuuge!"
-
I thought this would be a layup of a scene. Nothing else?
-
Hi, I'm Tonya Harding to talk to you about the wonder of the tire iron. It gets a gold medal from me, even though it won't get you one
-
Bill Cosby here! I get all my pills from Liberty Medical!
Cos reference takes it.
-
Boy, when did y’all think you’d ever see my leaderboard score increase? I would do it, but I’m on mobile. Alright, new scene, here we go:
Songs from Dream Theater Forums: The Musical
-
Jackalope on the Menu Tonight - starring lonestar and bout to crash
-
Scarred II ... sung by BlobVanDam
Ain't Nobody Got No Common Sense, with Stadler on lead vocals
We're Back Too, a duet by AndyDT and TheTexasPirate
The Best Them Times
You're a Stupid Fucking Bitch
-
Pride in Ignorance (or WTF?) - featuring TAC
Vlasto Day! - ensemble
Incontinence and Auto-correct
-
Forsaken: An Abandoned Shopping Cart's Lament
-
Caught in a Mouse Trap
-
The Stadler Suite
I. (Parenthetically speaking)
II. Comma, Comma, Commeleon
III. Punctuation!...Station!?@.!.
-
Zydar's Little Photoshop of Horrors
-
Parking Cones on a Hydroponic Balcony
Ugly Pornstars
-
Ode' to the IPA's - Vocalist: Kingshmegland
-
Whahíbrido Pickingant - instrumental, either the overture or an interlude in Act II.
Mouse! - big ensemble number
Systems of Chaos - Prog rap number where random words, and thus the overall meter of the music, are shouted.
-
Jingle Boy - "Canadian Love Songs", featuring "In The Mood", "When You Dance, I Can Really Love", and the showstopper, a mini-medley of "Turn Me Loose" and "Notorious" ("I gotta do it my way, Senorita, solitaire, you got a certain kind of savoir-faire"!)
The Three Tenors Fogeys (King, Stadler, TAC) - "When I'm Sixty-Four", interpolating "Young Man's Blues" and "My Generation"
-
Jingle Boy - "Canadian Love Songs", featuring "In The Mood", "When You Dance, I Can Really Love", and the showstopper, a mini-medley of "Turn Me Loose" and "Notorious" ("I gotta do it my way, Senorita, solitaire, you got a certain kind of savoir-faire"!)
The Three Tenors Fogeys (King, Stadler, TAC) - "When I'm Sixty-Four", interpolating "Young Man's Blues" and "My Generation"
I'M GONNA FLYYYYYYYY!!!!
-
The Three Tenors Fogeys (King, Stadler, TAC)
Pfah, green horns.
-
Cover of ‘F%uck the Police’ - Vocalist El Barto
-
The Three Tenors Fogeys (King, Stadler, TAC)
Pfah, green horns.
I can't speak for the other two (not that they can hear me anyway) but you're welcome to sit in with the band. :)
-
Jingle Boy - "Canadian Love Songs", featuring "In The Mood", "When You Dance, I Can Really Love", and the showstopper, a mini-medley of "Turn Me Loose" and "Notorious" ("I gotta do it my way, Senorita, solitaire, you got a certain kind of savoir-faire"!)
The Three Tenors Fogeys (King, Stadler, TAC) - "When I'm Sixty-Four", interpolating "Young Man's Blues" and "My Generation"
I love the thought put into this one. A winner is you!
-
The Three Tenors Fogeys (King, Stadler, TAC)
Pfah, green horns.
I can't speak for the other two (not that they can hear me anyway) but you're welcome to sit in with the band. :)
Oh, I didn't realize it was a band you were putting together. In that case, you'll need Orbert
-
jingle.boy 56
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 22
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
TAC 8
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Your next scene...
Supposedly, Roseanne has a new show coming. I hear the premise is....
-
Odd Couple '18 - Roseanne and Harvey.
-
Meet the Planet of the Apes
-
Roseanne stars in the new game show, "Pills Say the Damnedest Things"! Where contestants pop pills and say what comes to mind for money!
-
Fifty Shades: The Series
-
White trash intervention: Celebrity edition
-
Singing lessons.
-
So You Think You Can Tweet
-
Barr Rescue
-
Barr Rescue
Win. Especially if Jon Taffer blows his stack, per usual.
-
Who's Jon Taffer?
Standings
jingle.boy 56
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 22
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
TAC 9
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
So, when Trump met Kim Jon Un, KJU speaks to his translator, who then relays the message, "Hello Mr. Trump. Very nice to meet you."
So....what did KJU really say to his translator upon meeting Trump for the first time??
-
한국어처리기입니다. 현재텍스트정규화와 형태소 분석, 스테밍을 지원하고 있습니다.
-
Cheetos are in the next room.
I got ya covered bro. Zydar will be here soon with the hookers and blow.
-
"Hello Mr. Trump. Very nice to meet you."
"How about a little hug for the Kimmy? I just got off the bus." (It's a line from the infamous Billy Bush tape; Bush said it, and called himself "Bushy".)
"Hello Mr. Trump. Have you heard of Sons of Apollo? They're playing a 100-seater near my palace."
P.S.: Jon Taffer is the host of the real "Bar Rescue". (He also invented NFL Sunday Ticket, oddly.)
-
My....what big hands you have.
-
I got your rocket man, RIGHT HERE!
-
Now that is a hair-don't!
-
Cheetos are in the next room.
You got it, Chad!
-
Thank you sir...
Standings
jingle.boy 57
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 22
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
TAC 9
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Unexpected results when you Google yourself.
-
"No results found" (but not completely unexpected)
-
"1961-Woman incarcerated today for illegal abortion"
-
"Harrowing Tale of Addiction To Drugs Told By Youth"
"Hot XXX Videos! $2.99 a month!"
-
Banging Bro
-
pronoun UK strong /jɔːˈself/ weak /jəˈself/ US /jʊrˈself/ /jɚˈself/
-
"Harrowing Tale of Addiction To Drugs Told By Youth"
That explains a lot actually. :lol
You're up Stads.
-
"Harrowing Tale of Addiction To Drugs Told By Youth"
That explains a lot actually. :lol
You're up Stads.
Funny enough, that's a true story. It's not me (it's a first cousin once removed) but the "youth" in question shares my name (I was named for his father).
Standings
jingle.boy 57
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 22
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
TAC 9
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
A local restaurant has a new item on the menu, the "Trump Burger". It's a...
-
It's Korean beef with Russian dressing.
-
Kobe beef with ketchup. Add tots and a diet coke to make it a combo (comes with Huckabee Sanders action figure).
-
Three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce.
-
The hot mess that results from the culmination of decades of Big Macs, Whoppers, Double-double animal style, and Big Kahuna.
-
Bigly Mac
-
The chef takes a dump on a piece of Texas toast, then puts cheese whiz on it. The waiter who serves it to you lovingly strokes your nut sack while you're eating it; while simultaneously telling you over and over again that it's really the finest cut of wagyu beef...Oh wait!!! That's the "Sean Hannity Burger". I get so confused.
-
The chef takes a dump on a piece of Texas toast, then puts cheese whiz on it. The waiter who serves it to you lovingly strokes your nut sack while you're eating it; while simultaneously telling you over and over again that it's really the finest cut of wagyu beef...Oh wait!!! That's the "Sean Hannity Burger". I get so confused.
Comes with a side of Colmes, strips of whiney IknowyouarebutwhatamI vanilla fries.
-
A slice of baloney and a slice of orange cheese on white bread.
-
The chef takes a dump on a piece of Texas toast, then puts cheese whiz on it. The waiter who serves it to you lovingly strokes your nut sack while you're eating it; while simultaneously telling you over and over again that it's really the finest cut of wagyu beef...Oh wait!!! That's the "Sean Hannity Burger". I get so confused.
Calling it early. This wins. I try to keep it professional over at P/R, but I don't have to here. I DESPISE Sean Hannity. I don't think I've ever wanted to punch someone in the face as badly as I do every time I hear him speak.
-
Wow! Thanks! And yes, there is a special place in Hell for Hannity.
Standings
jingle.boy 57
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
TAC 9
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Bad things to say at a eulogy...
-
I'm so glad he willed me his prescription for Viagra.
-
He loved now wearing pants.....even in his death.
-
When he got to the hospital it was discovered that he did NOT have clean underwear on.
-
TA-DA! Got you all!
Now please help me out the focking casket, would you son?
-
"...so, that's when I says, 'Harry, what do you us to do when you're gone?' and he says, 'Well, I'd really like you to spread my remains on the Ex's front lawn.'
'No problem, buddy. Anything else?'
'Ya. I don't want to be cremated, neither!'"
-
"...but, he sure had good taste in women. Stand up, Karen. Let 'em get a load of ya! Yowsa, amirite?"
-
"Well at least he's in a better place now....eh....who am I kidding, burn you SOB"!
-
C'est la vie.
I guess his wife is fair game now, eh boys?
Protip... know when to walk away, and know when to run. Also, don't count your money at the table.
-
"I first met Bob when he walked in on me and his wife in the shower..."
"For a guy with a short penis, he was remarkably secure in himself..."
"
-
She was a slut and proud of it, hence the Y-shaped coffin.
-
Mr. Carradine would be touched by the number of guests here, in fact you could say David would be all choked up.
-
They could have at least removed the dildo from his Kiester
Did you ever see the trick she did with the cucumber, guinea pig and ping pong ball?
-
This guy..this guy...
was an ASSHOLE!
-
This guy..this guy...
was an ASSHOLE!
Love it! You're up!
-
Yay!
Standings
jingle.boy 57
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
After Pop told Kawhi that he was going to Toronto, Kawhi's response was....
-
(https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/906/648/aa4.jpg)
-
"Night gathers and my watch begins ..."
-
Do they have a team up there?
-
See ya later, white spread.
Who's the coach up there?? Drake?
-
Peace out ya’ whiny a$$ liberal bit%h
-
Hey, do you have Alec Baldwin/Lena Dunham/Chloe Sevigny/Keegan-Michael Key/Barbra Streisand's phone number?
https://townhall.com/tipsheet/christinerousselle/2017/01/16/where-are-they-now-these-23-celebrities-said-theyll-leave-the-country-if-trump-wins-n2272070
-
So.....can you smoke a Maple Leaf?
-
What's a Tavares?
Well, at least Boston will be easier to beat than LA.
-
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
~T.S. Eliot
Should we play Taps for this thread then?
-
Damn, looks like I dropped the ball!
Who's the coach up there?? Drake?
The winnah!!
-
Thanks. I've been holding my breath for 3 months.
I'll get to this next week.
-
Yeah, no rush. :lol
-
Standings
jingle.boy 58
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
This weeks (hopefully not months) scene.
Things not to bring to the bathtub.
-
220, 221...
-
Your wife's sister.
-
^
classic Robert Schimmel:
So I'm in bed with my wife one night, and she goes, 'Bob, what's your biggest sexual fantasy?' And I say, "to have a threesome with your sister."
Little did I know that her fantasy was for me to have to sleep alone in the car that night.
-
Soap.
-Submitted by France.
-
Your wife's sister.
Slim competition, but this was a good chuckle.
-
Standings
jingle.boy 58
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
I think this is fair game, if not a little U.S. centric. So, Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande (pronounced Gran-DEE, by the way) broke up this weekend. Word is, it's because...
-
Pete finally listened to her music.
Ariana finally watched a SNL skit with Pete.
-
He wasn't grande enough
-
Ariana found out the carpet didn't match the drapes.
-
Ariana found out the carpet didn't match the drapes.
Hers.
-
Ariana found out the carpet didn't match the drapes.
Hers.
You've seen "his" die job right?
-
I have no idea who Pete Davidson is, and only know who Ariana Grande is because that (hilarious) crack that dude made about her name at that funeral somehow made national headlines.
So... I got nothing on this one.
-
Standings
jingle.boy 58
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
So, I clearly screwed the pooch on that last scene, but since it's a good thread, generally, and I notice we resurrected the caption thread, so...
I'm shopping for my wife for Christmas, and I suggested a Peloton; she suggested...
-
...that you go fuck yourself.
...that you're deplorable.
...that sand is the perfect ingredient for your next colonic.
-
*not a caption - what's with the fucking grief over this add.... the world is so hyper-sensitive, ESPECIALLY when it comes to food/fitness/weight. Good lord*
Ok, so back to the funny....
... I'd rather you take that $2200 and get a jelly of the month subscription for the next 146 months.
-
What the hell is a Peloton? Not a caption. I genuinely don't know.
-
Goddamnit do I suck at this game.
A Peloton is a stationary bike. (https://screenrant.com/peloton-commerical-viewers-angry-controversy-explained/)
-
......that I go Fu%k myself
-
......that I go Fu%k myself
Where have I heard that before?
...that you go fuck yourself.
Channeling my inner Chad.
-
......that I go Fu%k myself
Where have I heard that before?
...that you go fuck yourself.
Channeling my inner Chad.
:lol Sorry Gregg.......must be a common request from wives.....
-
So.... it's a tie between Podaar and Jingle for apparently knowing my wife better that I do.
I'm going to give the nod to Jingle for the non-comment comment. :)
You're up (and thank god for that).
-
Standings
jingle.boy 59
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 20
Stadler 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Ok, let's see if I can come up with a good scene....
Things that sound dirty at the holidays, but aren't.
Go!
-
I'm so excited see mom's expression when I give her a pearl necklace!
-
I said dirty, not creepy! :lol
-
I need to wrap it before I put in the box.
Better, Chad?
-
"I'm really hoping she gives me her famous pound cake again this year"
-
"Hurry, lick the eggnog off the rim before it drips on the carpet!"
-
♪♫...Jingle all the way♫♪
Okay, that's my five, I suppose.
-
Kids, Santa really emptied his sack last night.
-
Mom.....Uncle Joe is drunk again and keeps playing with my package when you aren't looking.
-
Mom.....Uncle Joe is drunk again and keeps playing with my package when you aren't looking.
Kids, Santa really emptied his sack last night.
:lol
-
If you keep flapping that roast beef around with your fingers no one's gonna want to eat it.....
-
I'm trying to figure out how incorporate my 2 cats. Lol
-
Have my package as well but likewise won't get to opening/filming till the weekend.
-
Read that and was all ??? then read it again and was all :biggrin:
-
I love the Yule Log.
-
I'm in the mood for Dickens. Turn on the BBC.
-
Sweetie, you only need one cinnamon stick in cider.
-
Who wants some stuffing?
-
"Sit on my lap and tell me what you want."
-
I can't believe he slides down that little hole.
-
"Hurry, lick the eggnog off the rim before it drips on the carpet!"
All good entries, but Gregg takes it with quality AND quantity.
-
Thanks, buddy!
Standings
jingle.boy 59
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 21
Stadler 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Snow Dog 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
New scene: Presents you'd rather not get for the holidays.
-
Chlamydia
-
Chocolate covered anal plug
-
A shopping cart
-
The $1350 HVAC bill I just got because the ignition control unit AND damper control units both decided to shit the bed at the same time yesterday afternoon.
Oh, wait, is this supposed to be fun? :) :) :)
How about an email from "23 And Me" with news that 23 people claim Me as "dad"? (Stole that from Eddie "Mr. Robinson" Murphy from SNL this past week).
-
Summons for Jury Duty
Mike Pence for President
-
:bump: for more responses before we close this round.
-
Flavored Tampons
Heated Hemorrhoid Cream
Belly Lint Knitting Set
-
The Kardashian sex tape compilation (with bonus footage of Caitlyn Jenner)
Limp Bizkit’s Greatest Hits
BYU football gear signed by Jonny Harline
-
Johnny Walker Red Label
-
Puppies almost had another recent win, until Snow Dog swept in with,
BYU football gear signed by Jonny Harline
For bringing up that memory, I shall now call you a name. FUCKER! :lol
You're up, mang.
-
Heated Hemorrhoid Cream
If by "heated" you mean "not ice cold", I'd take that. If by "heated" you mean "like Ben-Gay", then I'm with you.
-
For bringing up that memory, I shall now call you a name. FUCKER! :lol
Know thy audience. ;) Just as painful for me, sir. But I know what’ll make it better...
https://youtu.be/XUK1wEHx4EY
Standings
jingle.boy 59
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 21
Stadler 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
Snow Dog 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
New scene: Things that shouldn’t have “free trial” versions.
-
Receiving anal sex
-
Crack cocaine
-
Heart Transplants
-
Membership to DTF P/R forums.
-
Chlamydia
-
Dissolving Anal Plugs
-
Life insurance!
-
Jury duty :neverusethis:
-
A Parachute
Hand grenade
Book of Mormon
A suicide vest
-
Sex Robot
-
Colonoscopy
-
The Stephanie Meyer Book Club
-
Colonoscopy
“There are [54] problems with your rectum. Upgrade to Colonoscopy Pro to fix them for $29.99.”
Sorry, dropped the ball here. Winner!
-
Standings
jingle.boy 60
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 21
Stadler 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
Cool Chris 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
Snow Dog 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
New Years Resolutions - failed, or (regrettably) successful
-
- Eliminate Gag Reflex
- Control Where I'm at when diarrhea strikes
- Use Hand Basket in lieu of Shopping Cart
-
Watch less CNN
-Stadler
-
Watch less CNN
-Stadler
:lol
Yeah, that didn't last long.
-
Burn all cart corrals to the ground
-TAC
:biggrin:
-
Watch less CNN
-Stadler
Regrettably failed. :)
-
Watch less CNN
-Stadler
Winner ... you up Chris. Give us a good one.
-
Damn when was the last time I won this?
jingle.boy 60
gmillerdrake 45
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 21
Stadler 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
Cool Chris 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
Snow Dog 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
With the success of The Mandalorian, Disney is looking for the next big Star Wars spin-off. Their writers submitted the following list of possible ideas...
-
Windows Of Power
Luke uses his emotion detector to gauge the mystic rhythms of the grand design so he can earn some big money. He had to travel to the Middletown territories to run the Manhattan marathon.
-
Leia Gets Her Period - A limited mini series that explores the summer it all changed for Leia.
-
Han is taking Chewie home to see his family. Chewie's dad watches VR porn and Jefferson Starship gets a guest spot.......... Oh wait....
-
Short and Shorter: Maz Kanata and Babu Frik as buddy-cops.
Bachelor's in Paradise:Mustafar
Little People:Big Moon
-
I don't know whether this says something about the Star Wars films, reality TV, or both, but the crossovers are a gold mine:
The Real Stormtroopers Of Tatooine
Behind The Music: Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes (from early success to a tale of rock and roll excess, with the band rising triumphantly from the ashes!)
A Very Skywalker Renovation (those lovable characters from HGTV take over the Skywalker house on Tatooine and renovate it to look just like the movie! Watch Mark Hamill gaze in awe at the set come to life!)
Pawn Stars Crossover (watch those irascible rogues Rick Harrison, his son Corey ("Big Hoss"), and the lovable Chumly match wits with the ultimate pawn stars, the Jawas!)
-
Damn it's a good thing TAC isn't the judge this round. He wouldn't get any of those. :lol
Growing up Greedo.
So You Think You Can Hunt: Tuskan Raiders edition. Hosted by David Attenborough. Judges are Steven Segal, Dick Cheney, and Ted Nugent.
-
Here's one that he will get:
Mutual Of Omaha's Wild Kingdom with Marlin Perkins ("Here we see Luke engaging the Tuskan Raider in the wild...")
Watching "Jim" get his ass kicked why Marlin sat comfortably in the warm studio was a staple of Sunday nights when I was a kid.
-
My 600 Pound Life: Jabba's Battle
Weekends at the Dune Sea: Follows Biggs Darklighter and Luke Skywalker in their younger years when they'd take frequent camping trips to the Dune Sea, to explore the terrain and the 'new' feelings brought on by pulsating hormones.
-
Alderaan Extreme Makeover: Do breakfast pastries belong in royal hair styles?
-
Behind the Romance: Anakin's courtship of Padme.
-
The Real Housewives of Cloud City
-
Behind The Music: Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes
Dammit, I was just going to post this!
-
Weird, I got all the pop culture references, and none of the Star Wars ones. I had to Google Figrin D'an and Maz Kanata.
These were all great but the simplicity of this one takes the cake (pun intended).
My 600 Pound Life: Jabba's Battle
-
Why thank you, some funny ones in there.
jingle.boy 60
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 21
Stadler 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
Cool Chris 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
Snow Dog 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Add “for legal purposes” to the end of everyday common quotes or cliché’s.
-
You can’t please everyone...for legal purposes.
-
Her: "Do these jeans make my ass look big?"
Him: "I really can't say, dear, for legal purposes."
-
That's what she said ... for legal purposes.
-
I love you, Honey...for legal purposes.
-
Curiosity killed the cat..... for legal purposes
You can't judge a book by it's cover..... for legal purposes
-
Turn your head and cough please, for legal purposes
-
This is going to feel just like a dick, but it's not...for legal purposes.
Pull my finger...for legal purposes.
-
Life is short...for legal purposes.
-
Come to the dark side..... for legal purposes
-
I promise I'll just put in the tip... for legal purposes.
-
Would you like cheese on that...for legal purposes?
-
Please return your cart to the corral... for legal purposes.
-
When the cows come home..for legal purposes.
-
Please return your cart to the corral... for legal purposes.
:neverusethis:
-
Up your nose with a rubber hose...for legal purposes.
-
I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse..... for legal purposes
You're gonna need a bigger boat..... for legal purposes
-
And they lived happily ever after... for legal purposes.
-
Would you like fries with that... for legal purposes.
-
I owe you an apology, for legal purposes.
-
Please return your cart to the corral... for legal purposes.
Plenty of good ones thrown out there but this one wins it for the ‘call back’ to another thread.
You’re up :tup
-
jingle.boy 60
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 21
Stadler 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
Snow Dog 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Tom Brady says he is entertaining all offers from any team. With money not being an issue for him, this is what you write in to the contract to get him to sign with your team:
-
Avacado Ice Cream for everyone!!!
-
Here's your chance to play as Jimmy G's backup!
-
We will deflate our balls if you wants us to!
-
CLEVELAND ROCKS!!
J-E-T-S, JETS JETS JETS!!!
-
24 Hour ring cleaning service
-
One year VIP subscription to Mae Pang's Loving Lotus Healing Arts Massage.
-
"Additional 53-foot trailer to stash your hopes and dreams that you'll make us a contender."
-
Being fanned by large Palm Leaves by scantily dressed women and fed exotic grapes by hand around the clock.
-
CFL: We have a longer field, smaller balls, and get 'er done in 3-downs.
Montreal Allouettes: No matter what, you're an upgrade over Johnny Football.
-
We will deflate our balls if you wants us to!
Sorry guys I forgot I was running this round. Will give it Vmadera00.
-
Well thank you!
jingle.boy 60
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 21
Stadler 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
Snow Dog 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
vmadera 1
Similar to what gmillerdrake did - phrases with completely different meaning when you add "if you know what I mean" at the end of the sentence.
-
I'll have the sausage ... if you know what I mean.
-
This weekend was one pain in the a$$ after another.....if you know what I mean.
-
I'd put my shopping cart in her corral. If you know what I mean.
-
Filthy/Crass:
I'd bang her - if you know what I mean.
Clever/funny:
That is one fine traffic cone - if you know what I mean.
Woefully obscure:
When we gave it away for the sake of a dream, in a penny arcade - if you know what I mean.
-
That was some fine tasting snapper you whipped up last night, honey ... if you know what I mean.
-
Tu Gris bela Hanna Knaufa nonna grundete pino.....if you know what I mean.
-
I am Groot ... if you know what I mean.
-
I liked this one the most.
That is one fine traffic cone - if you know what I mean.
Your turn!
-
Well thank you!
jingle.boy 60
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 21
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
Snow Dog 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
vmadera 1
Apparently, in a ceremony that didn't make the main broadcast, Derek Sherinian won a Grammy for...
-
...longest stretch of emotionless performance
-
Making history.
-
Making history.
:lmao:
Apparently, in a ceremony that didn't make the main broadcast, Derek Sherinian won a Grammy for...
....best reuse of an instrumental part in a song. AKA, the best self-plagiarism award.
-
Most keyboards owned.
-
Liza Minelli Lookalike Award.
-
Longest career using the same keyboard sounds.
-
Lifetime Achievement Award for being a douche-waffle.
-
Best use of eye liner by an over the hill 'rock' star
-
These are better than I thought. I think I know who is the winner, but i'll let it go until the morning, if that's cool.
-
Best use of Roadies during a Japanese Earthquake.
-
Best use of Roadies during a Japanese Earthquake.
Banging the drum and guitar techs?
-
Most desperate Kiss audition.
-
Most desperate for any audition.
-
The sympathy award
-
Most desperate Kiss audition.
Come from behind win. LIza Minelli is pissed. ;)
You're up, Vinnie Vincent!
-
jingle.boy 61
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Podaar 21
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 6
JayOctavarium 6
Snow Dog 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
vmadera 1
Trump finally takes the stand. The first question he is asked ...
-
Be honest....you ran for the publicity fully expecting to lose....just admit it....we all know it's true.
-
Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?
-
What's with the hair?
-
Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?
:rollin
-
What's with the hair?
Ninja'd.
"Is it not true that the last book you read cover to cover was "The Cricket In Times Square? Let me remind, you, you are under oath."
-
Stormy Daniels.....does the carpet match the drapes?
-
What's the best 'grab em' by the pu$$y technique......straight in or more of an upper cut motion?
-
So...how do you maintain the orange skin color? Spray tan, tanning bed or L'Oreal?
-
Is it true, your greatest achievement was appearing in the film Home Alone?
-
Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?
Winner.
Give us a new scene, Zy
-
:corn
-
Oh shit! I forgot I contributed to this. Sorry guys :P
Bad things to do during an earthquake.
-
Yoga.
Tight rope walking.
Surprise buttsex
-
Lasik
Mascara
Manscaping
-
Bris
-
Dance Dance revolution
-
Paint by Numbers
-
Bake a cake
-
Perform a C-Section
-
Not put your cart back in the corral.
-
Build a mouse trap
Lean against a balcony railing
Correct Bosk - oh wait .... that’s anytime.
-
Play jenga
-
Bris
We have a winner here!
-
jingle.boy 61
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
Podaar 22
kingshmegland 21
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
JayOctavarium 6
Snow Dog 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
vmadera 1
-
Oh wow, thanks, buddy. You even updated both of our scores. What a gentleman!
New scene: Cruise shore excursions your spouse schedules that you're dreading.
-
Coronavirus Epicenter day trip
-
Coronavirus Epicenter day trip
Beat me to it.
-
Coronavirus Epicenter day trip
Beat me to it.
It's contagious. ;D
-
New scene: Cruise shore excursions your spouse schedules that you're dreading.
Crochet like the Mayans
Wal-mart aisle 7
Coffee bean picking with Hector and his 17 kids.
Swimming with drug lords.
-
Jamaica: NOT the tourist side.
-
Mexico: Drug cartel grounds hike.
-
Mystery Sex Slave Kidnapping
-
Whatever it is, she tells you when the excursion starts, not when you need to leave to get there.
-
Whatever it is, she tells you when the excursion starts, not when you need to leave to get there.
:tup
-
Jamaica: NOT the tourist side.
Irie, mang. Fya post. :hat
-
Jamaica: NOT the tourist side.
Irie, mang. Fya post. :hat
Well, fuck me.
jingle.boy 61
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
Podaar 22
kingshmegland 21
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
JayOctavarium 6
Snow Dog 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
vmadera 1
hefdaddy42 1
Movie sequels NO ONE wants to see
-
Burt's Jolly Holiday: A Mary Poppins Story
The Next Room
Rambo: Assisted Living
-
Star Wars: Chewbacca's Tapeworm
-
Indiana Jones: Not Dead Yet
Dirty Dancing: The Geriatric Shuffle
Transformers: Transform This
Debbie: Still Doing Dallas
-
Slow Times At Ridgemont Nursing Home
-
Avengers: Infinity Fist
-
The Hunger Games: The Famine
-
The Good, The Bad and Your Momma
When Harry Divorced Sally
Mission’s Totally Possible
-
National Lampoons Wuhan Vacation
-
Revive Bill - Vol. A
-
Just OKfellas
-
Grown ups: grandpa years.
-
Wild Orchids Of Asia
-
The Uncoordinated and Petulant.
-
The Overpasses of Orange County
-
Star Trek: Captain Wesley
-
Hulk and the big dong.
-
Monty Python and the Holy Shit
Meesa Horny: JarJar’s Venture Into the Porn Industry
-
Star Trek: Captain Wesley
I'd watch that :)
-
Meesa Horny: JarJar’s Venture Into the Porn Industry
WINNER
-
Well, that was unexpected. Thanks!
jingle.boy 61
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
Podaar 22
kingshmegland 21
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
vmadera 1
hefdaddy42 1
Next scene:
Easy ways to ruin karaoke night
-
Two words: GG ALLIN
-
Do an acoustic version of "Bleed" by Meshuggah.
-
You know him as Joe the policeman on the "What's goin' down" episode of That's My Mama. Put your hands together for Jackson Heights own! Mr Randy Watson!
-
Plug in the karaoke machine.
-
Tuesday Opeth.
-
"Hi everyone. My name is Gregg, and I'm an alcoholic."
[group response] "Hi, Gregg!"
"For my first number, I'd like to perform the Ono classic, Bad Dancer."
-
"Do you have Helen Keller's greatest hits?"
-
♪♫"Rise all loyal cougars and hurl your challenge to the foe.
You will fight, day or night, rain or snow.
Loyal, strong, and true
Wear the white and blue...♪♫
-
Perform one of Yoko Ono's screaming improvisations.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJl06nxPub8
-
"Good evening. I would like to perform everything the Beatles ever recorded.
I won't do all of Hey Jude."
-
"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway"."
-
Yes....could you please pull up "The Serenade of the Blue Whale" please?
-
Ooohhh... I see you have Adam Sandler "At A Medium Pace". :lhk:
-
Are y'all ready for some Mojo Nixon?
-
Plug in the karaoke machine.
So simple, yet so true. You’re up!
-
I felt pretty confident about my entries, but I admit, I thought the Cougar fight song would get you. :lol
jingle.boy 61
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
Podaar 23
kingshmegland 21
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
vmadera 1
hefdaddy42 1
Next scene: Odd things for a talking toy to say.
-
Ever seen a grown man naked?
When you donate your body to science, it can get used as a crash test dummy, for medical training, forensic research or to save a life through organ transplants.
Duckjob (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cewQufCx2Is)
-
I felt pretty confident about my entries, but I admit, I thought the Cougar fight song would get you. :lol
Oh, wow. I *absolutely* did not pick up on that! I’m only familiar with the “Rise and shout, the Cougars are out,” part, but it still should have been obvious. Well, results being the same...:lol
As for the scene:
“Let me introduce you to my little friend...”
-
So, are we done here?
-
How about I shove four D batteries up your a$$ and then you tell me if you’re in the mood to play?
-
“Come and play with my rocket”
“I like mushrooms”
-
Nice shoes. Let’s fuck.
-
“You should get a job”
-
Do you want some candy little kid. Come get in the van.
-
It's Billy Barty!
-
“I like mushrooms”
I don't know why, but this one keeps cracking me up. It's just so odd.
Take it away, sir!
-
:coolio :coolio
jingle.boy 61
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
Podaar 23
kingshmegland 21
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
vmadera 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 1
Next scene: You work for a beer distribution company and have been put in charge of coming up with the new slogan for the company.
-
Just two, and your teeth will be floating you'll have to take a leak so bad.
So good, you'll want to drink your own piss afterwards.
The Stadler of Beers.
Imodium not included.
-
Corona, just spread it!
-
Corona, just spread it!
:clap:
-
^Yeah, were all competing for second place at this point
Tickle a Schlitz. Now in the easy opening can.
Had a hard day? Pound down a Busch.
-
Bearded Clam micro-brewery ... smells like fish; tastes like chicken.
-
If you are in the mood for some bread, but without all that pesky solid matter, boy, do we have something for you!
-
You have to drink a few before you can pronounce Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier.
Catch a cold Corona today. I know, but I couldn't help it
PBR, still better than taking a paper-hole punch to your eyelid.
-
Schlitz. Not just for breakfast anymore!
-
Brown Star Lager - Get Bent
-
Some really good entries but this one wins. Your turn :police:
Corona, just spread it!
-
Eh, morbid taste goes a long way.
jingle.boy 61
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
Podaar 23
kingshmegland 21
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
vmadera 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 1
Indiscipline 1
Next scene: crowded elevator, a cup of scorching hot coffee in each hand, you gotta sneeze.
-
I don't see the problem.
-
Excuse me maam'........can I rub my nose in your cleavage? I'm about to sneeze but as you can see I'm two fisting coffee and am unable to rub it myself.......
-
Corona outbreak in 3 ... 2... 1...
-
Not sure if any of you are Sanders supporters but we are all about to Feel the Burn
-
Still better than a rancid Taco Bell fart.
-
Sorry, that was coffee that I spilled on your neck. Seriously.
-
"It's a good thing this coffee is kosher, because I'm AHCHOOO!"
-
Could you hit Floor 12 please......thanks a latte
-
OK... I can't believe I'm going to do this....
Anyone java Kleenex?
-
OK... I can't believe I'm going to do this....
Anyone java Kleenex?
Nope. What floor can I espresso for you?
-
Do you smell something burning because the mocha detectors just went off.
-
The instrumental Narita was a precursor to Iron Maiden
-
:metal
-
The instrumental Narita was a precursor to Iron Maiden
Gotta resend, see the banned list at page 1.
Your turn for the Top 50.
-
The instrumental Narita was a precursor to Iron Maiden
Gotta resend, see the banned list at page 1.
Your turn for the Top 50.
Wait a minute. Eight months later and now you want me because I'm a yoga instructor and have lost 2-1/2 stones? I don't think, bub.
???
What thread is this again?
-
I have no idea what's going on in these last few posts........ ??? :loser:
-
I have no idea what's going on in these last few posts........ ??? :loser:
Tim left his manpurse in another thread, Gregg went meta, I dropped a ponce-bomb, Gregg found Tim's manpurse and went smartypants meta.
Gregg wins, Gregg's turn.
-
:rollin Okay, that was the strangest victory on record...ponce-bomb indeed.
jingle.boy 61
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
vmadera 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 1
Indiscipline 1
Next scene: Outtakes from the CDC/White House joint press conference
-
Trump: "Since the virus travels through the air I'm shutting down all Air Ports"
CDC Official: "That's not how it works Mr. President"
-
"There is absolutely no truth to the rumors that this virus - most dangerous for people over the age of 75 - is in fact a targeted attack on all candidates for President of the United States in 2020."
-
CDC: "And we are taking all necessary steps to stop..."
Trump: "We have spent beellions and beellions of dollars. This is the best reaction any president in the history of the United States has ever have over any health situation. We are doing a tremendous job."
-
This thing is going to crush my 63M vote count from 2016
It's a tremendous virus, really. Really huge. The best we've seen in years. It has the most beauty.. tremendous really - the best Mike Pence ever had. It's something every American should have. It's making America great again. Some say .. some say it's - look, I'm not worried.
Now, you can all lock yourself up like little Teddie, but there's nothing to be worried about. I'm over 75, and I lick doorknobs for breakfast. Milenia licks a different kind of knob, but she's got a really most tough immunity. Hell, she's immune to my advances.
<reporter question>
Eponential? What does math have to do with anything? Look, I'm a walking calculator, I know my times tables up to ... well, it's way up there. Baron does too. And no, no squares or cubes or anything have any impact. But everyone should fill their freezer with ice cubes, to be safe.
<reporter question>
Sanitary? Just wipe on your sleeve like I do. A good motorboat will work too.
<reporter question>
No. No concerns. We're going to do our part to help the cruise lines by moving all sessions of congress to a Carnival ship as of Tuesday.
-
Alex Azar, unknowingly whispering into a hot mic: "Goddammit Trump"
-
I'm appointing our new Chief of CDC, Randall Flagg.
-
I'm appointing our new Chief of CDC, Randall Flagg.
Hey, I get that reference! ;D
-
<reporter question>
No. No concerns. We're going to do our part to help the cruise lines by moving all sessions of congress to a Carnival ship as of Tuesday.
Winner, winner, Mepps Spinner.
-
jingle.boy 62
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
vmadera 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 1
Indiscipline 1
Tonight's scene:
Things you don’t expect to hear from a seashell when you put it to your ear.
-
The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
-
Stay calm and keep smiling, but listen closely.........You’re Living in a Computer Simulation
For a small fee I’ll tell you which famous writer Tempusvox in the DTF Forum is
-
For a small fee I’ll tell you which famous writer Tempusvox in the DTF Forum is
Oh, that one is easy, he is Dr. Seuss.
-
..and that's what she said.
-
Do you like movies about gladiators?
-
" I... WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NITE... AND PARTY EVA-REE DAY!!"
-
Do you like movies about gladiators?
:lol
-
Blow me.
-
A car engine struggling to start
-
My ocean sound is yuge, it's really tremendous, so I hear
-
<whisper> Excuse me. Your balls are showing
-
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Cthulhu?
-
"Your call is important to us, please stay on hold"
-
Please hold for an important message from the IRS.
-
...not that there's anything wrong with it.
-
Leave Mrs. TAC alone, Perv.
-
"Eww, it looks horrible in there. Get some Otex."*
* Other brands of ear drops are available.
-
Lots of good ones here as well, but this certainly would be unexpected
Please hold for an important message from the IRS.
Yer up Heffer.
-
jingle.boy 62
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 21
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
vmadera 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 2
Indiscipline 1
Tonight's scene:
Stage names of unsuccessful strippers
-
Bob.
-
Please welcome to the stage.....Doris!
-
Jungle Dancer
-
Coro Navirus.
-
Syphilis Sue
-
TAC The Clap.
Jay and Silent Bob.
-
M’Aggie and her whispering Clam
-
Covid Kathy
-
Patient Zero
-
Large Marge.
-
Bosk
-
The Hungry Heffer.
-
Queen Yeast of the East
-
Sloppy Seconds!
-
Doug!
-
Thunder thighs
-
Stormy Daniels.
-
Dingleberry Sherry
-
Stormy Daniels.
lol
-
:corn
-
Patience
-
Whoops! Sorry, my bad.
Please welcome to the stage.....Doris!
Take it away, King!
-
Hef, did you say “take it away King” or “Joe, never open this thread again?”
-
Hef, did you say “take it away King” or “Joe, never open this thread again?”
I'm getting Deja vu...
-
I thought Stadler won the round, but I guess neither him or King have open this thread since March, oh well :corn
-
I thought Stadler won the round, but I guess neither him or King have open this thread since March, oh well :corn
I didn't know if "LOL" meant "you win", or just an interim "clever". I assumed King won. I'd open one if we need to.
-
I'll throw one out there Bill....
Updated Standings with King's win included.
jingle.boy 62
gmillerdrake 46
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 22
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
vmadera 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 2
Indiscipline 1
Tonight's scene:
King's Best Excuse for not coming into this thread
-
Stormy Daniels.
-
He keeps mis-spelling DTF.
-
PTSD from Tom Brady's departure
-
Gronk body-slammed him.
-
Buckle indigestion
-
Craft breweries
-
Defeating Tim and absorbing his powers of amnesia.
-
Social distancing gone too far.
-
Self isolating inside a Tauntaun
-
New scene:
Rejected gift ideas by the wise men for the christ child.
-
Out of the Blue from Gregg!!! :metal Let's see if it works this time....I think we've tried this a few times, maybe it'll stick
Rejected gift ideas by the wise men for the christ child.
Hebrew Alphabet Ouija Board
Gold Plated Crucifixion Nails
-
Charcuterie board
-
Gift Certificate to Whores-R-Us
-
Thorn Handled Baby Rattle
Circumcision 'Punch Card'
"How to Fish for Dummies" Book
-
Parental DNA test kit.
The Passion of the Christ on Blueray
-
All 6 volumes of The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon
-
Water Wings
-
A blue check mark.
-
A blue check mark.
lol
-
Candle oil
Pronouns
Front row tix to Trans Siberian Orchestra
-
Ginger Bread Nativity Scene
-
Pumpkin spice, well, anything.
-
Cholera
-
Some excellent responses. This one made me laugh the most and for the longest
Water Wings
Take it away, Gary!
----------------------------------------------------
Standings:
jingle.boy 62
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 22
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
vmadera 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 2
Indiscipline 1
-
Oh cool, thanks Gregg :tup
Let's try:
Celebrity Endorsements that are Doomed to Fail
-
Public service announcement for Planned Parenthood by Herschel Walker.
-
“Hi, I’m Nick Cannon. Did you know that vasectomies are quick and painless?”
-
"Why Go To The Synagogue? Stay at home with Kanye West's Home High Holidays Set!"
-
Vegan recipes from Ted Nugent.
Shopping cart etiquette by TAC.
Ancestry.com - Temous Vox.
-
how To Make Friends and Influence People …. Jordan Bennington.
-
Steve Harvey's Head and Shoulder shampoo/Conditioner set.
-
Steve Harvey's Head and Shoulder shampoo/Conditioner set.
HAHA
-
How to pack while traveling internationally, with Britney Griner.
-
The Guide To Common Sence by Stadler
-
The guide to keeping a head at your workplace by Jeffery Dahmer
-
Brazilian Bikini Salon by Roseanne Barr
-
How to pack while traveling internationally, with Britney Griner.
:lol
This one takes it for me! You're up Sir!
Standings:
jingle.boy 62
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 22
Stadler 16
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
Cool Chris 12
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
vmadera 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 2
Indiscipline 1
-
Great, will post new topic when I get home from work.
-
Don't kill this thread for 2 years the way King did!
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 62
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 22
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
vmadera 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 2
Indiscipline 1
Rejected items families used to decorate with ornaments and lights inside their house to celebrate Christmas before everyone finally settled on a tree.
-
Grandma
-
Chino’s cone. :chino2:
Trebuchets
-
Ceiling hung sex swing
Stripper pole
Prosthetic leg
-
Shrubbery.
-
Crucifixes
Dried cow chips
Chia pets
Joe Flacco
-
Cat Tower
-
Crucifixes
Dried cow chips
Chia pets
Joe Flacco
HAHA
-
A pile of skulls from my vanquished enemies, skirted with the tears of their women's lamentations.
-
Taxidermy
-
The Phallus of Destiny
-
The rotting corpse of this fucking thread.
-
Grandma
This was the Instant Winner.
-
Grandma
This was the Instant Winner.
If only you were the judge. Cmon Chis …. Let’s have your verdict.
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 62
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 22
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
vmadera 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 2
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
Crucifixes
I don't know how I feel about this making me chuckle. DragonAttack, you are on the board!
-
Crucifixes
I don't know how I feel about this making me chuckle. DragonAttack, you are on the board!
On my first or second try (how I miss the caption contest). Well, I'll hope this hasn't been done :
"The Top Fifty countdown that Kev secretly wishes he could run on DTF."
-
Top 50 DTF Members
-
Top 50 Taylor Swift Lipstick Colors
Top 50 Ways the St. Louis Blues Have Ripped the Hearts Out of their Fans Chest
Top 50 Ways Porcupine Tree sucks Compared to Spocks Beard
-
Top 50 excuses to not go to the damn barbershop
(https://i.imgur.com/o4KC7Ko.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/jorgwpL.jpg)
-
Top 50 Wild Ranger threads.
-
Thanks for reminding me of my own bad hair day, TAC :lol
Top 50 Reasons Radiant Records is the Best
Top 50 Transatlantic Songs that Roine definitely played guitar on and not Neal
-
Top 50 Reasons Blaze Bayley Is Better Than Bruce Dickinson
-
Top 50 Bubba Gump Shrimp
Top 50 joints that ache
-
Top 50 Reaso......ah shit, my back
Top 50 joints that ache
Ninja'd while I was posting
-
Top 50 Reasons Blaze Bayley Is Better Than Bruce Dickinson
:lol
-
Top 50 TAC photos
-
Top 50 TAC photos
:metal :metal :metal
-
Top 50 Shmegland spelling mistakes
Top 50 guesses who TempusVox is
-
Top 50 500 Shmegland spelling mistakes
-
I forgot what an enjoyable pain it is to judge these things! :rollin
Runner up: Taylor Swift lipstick
Top 50 Wild Ranger threads.
Top 50 500 Shmegland spelling mistakes
(TAC, you get an assist)
Chad, you're up! That's the way, eh? :tup
-
Top 100 Tac WTF's.
-
:lol :lol :lol
(then again, he wouldn't know of all of mine offline recently ;) )
-
Top 100 Tac WTF's.
WTF??
-
101.
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 63
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 22
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
vmadera 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 2
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
Today's Scene: Unexpected Out-of-Office messages.
-
I see you.
-
Out to mingle with the jingle.
-
“If you need the totals for the ‘Scenes Fom A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes’ thread correctly updated, please contact jingle.boy.”
(oops….damn rookie!)
-
“If you need the totals for the ‘Scenes Fom A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes’ thread correctly updated, please contact jingle.boy.”
(oops….damn rookie!)
Ooops. Fat fingers. Though, I guess that shows who's paying attention. BTW, fix'd.
-
I will not have access to phone or email as I’ll be busy putting the lotion in the basket
-
I'll be out of the office from December 20th the through the 12th of Never. Please contact someone else. Thank you.
The person you're trying to contact has died. Please remove this contact from your program/app.
-
I am currently out of the office. If you need me call your moms phone
-
I am currently out of the office. If you need me call me please contact Jenny at 1-800-867-5309.
-
I am currently out of the office and will be returning when you pull your Fu%king head out of your a$$ and start doing your Fu%king Job!!!
-
If you know what the fuck "PC Load Letter" means, please respond to this email. Otherwise, I'll be unavailable until someone does.
-
I am currently out of the office. If you need me call me please contact Jenny at 1-800-867-5309.
:lol
-
I am currently out of the office. If you need me call me please contact Jenny at 1-800-867-5309.
:lol
Agreed. You're up King. Don't kill the thread again!
-
I am currently out of the office. If you need me call me please contact Jenny at 1-800-867-5309.
:lol
Agreed. You're up King. Don't kill the thread again!
Oh Lord.....it was fun while it lasted....... :biggrin:
-
Top 50 guesses who TempusVox is
I thought we already knew the answer to this...
-
Top 50 guesses who TempusVox is
I thought we already knew the answer to this...
Do tell...
-
You're up King. Don't kill the thread again!
He's taking dead aim at it and pulling the trigger
-
You're up King. Don't kill the thread again!
He's taking dead aim at it and pulling the trigger
I'm willing to give him slack considering the situation with his Pop. That being said, has anyone PM'd him?
-
Thanks to Gregg for contacting. You turds all suck. Greg rules.
Today's Scene: Finish this sentence, "I was so tired today, that I..."
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 63
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
vmadera 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 2
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
-
Waited for someone to PM me to post in a contest I'm playing in.
Fell asleep while fapping.
-
"... didn't need to listen to Power Windows to fall asleep."
-
"... forgot to wake up."
-
... didn't even bust Tim's balls.
... didn't return my cart to the coral.
-
"...forgot I wasn't alone in the truck, and farted all up in front of the Queen. Man, the look I got while she rolled down the window!"
"...I put the cereal box in the fridge, and the milk in the cupboard."
-
...That I fried my egg with toothpaste, and tried to make coffee with oil.
-
… I thought Black Adam was a good movie.
-
...I had to finish my beer in the morning.
-
"...I didn't even bother getting up so I just peed in in my underwear."
-
... didn't even bust Tim's balls.
I don't want to live in a world like this. You win.
-
... didn't even bust Tim's balls.
I don't want to live in a world like this.
Neither do I. ;D
-
:hug:
-
(https://media.tenor.com/22qvZ-14h4oAAAAC/rpdr-kiss.gif)
-
…..confused a zip lock bag for a condom
……volunteered to get a vasectomy
-
…didn’t realize jingle had already won.
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 64
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
vmadera 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 2
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
Things you shouldn’t put on a resume.
-
That you contributed to the writing of Scenes From a Memory when the rest of the band says you didn't.
-
World record holder for longest time without showering.
-
Certified Shopping Cart Retriever and Returner.
-
I collect spores, molds, and fungus.
-
P.S. Avatar - good; Balack Adam - shyte. SUck it King.
-
Lead Technician, Pubic Utilities
Dream Theater Forum Queen Discography editor
Kingshmegland DTF Proofreader
DragonAttack DTF Proofreader
January 6th US Capitol Bldg Tour Guide
-
Archive security specialist at Mar-a-lago Resort
-
Your coke dealer as a personal reference.
-
Power Windows Lover
-
Excellent procrastination skills.
-
Excel in Office Trists, Affairs and Romances
Hard of Hearing
-
Quarterback - New York Jets
-
Quarterback - New York Jets
Dammit.
-
All my previous colleagues (especially the women) are dirty, stinking, liars. Don't believe them.
-
NYJ QB almost got it. If someone had said Patriots Offensive Coordinator, that would've taken the cake.
But, here's today's winner
Excellent procrastination skills.
You're up, Victor.
-
You're up, Victor.
Excellent procrastination skills.
Don't take too long :neverusethis2:
-
You're up, Victor.
Excellent procrastination skills.
Don't take too long :neverusethis2:
:clap:
-
You're up, Victor.
Excellent procrastination skills.
Don't take too long :neverusethis2:
:lol
Standings:
jingle.boy 64
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 13
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Vmadera 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 2
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
In the spirit of the holidays: Ways to tell a 6 year old Santa is not real.
-
Santa went out to get a gallon of milk and the bastard never came back.
-
Stop being a gullible dipshit, it’s not like you’re five anymore for chrissake. ::) or maybe that’s just me
-
Have the kid poison the milk, then when he wakes up to a dead father, he'll know the whole "Santa" thing is a crock of shit.
-
Remember that time you walked in and saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus? After you left I showed her my North Pole.
-
... and there ain'r no reindeer either. Grandma just flat out got run over.
The mill's closed, and not only do I have to sell you for scientific experiments, but Santa (like meteorology) is a hoax.
Kid, remember that broken leg I had last year? It's cuz I fell off the roof planting fake footprints up there.
Santa got Type-2 diabetes sometime back in the '40s. Us parents have been doing all the gift giving since then.
-
Picking a winner since I won't be around next few days.
Some good ones but this one made me laugh :) You're up!
Remember that time you walked in and saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus? After you left I showed her my North Pole.
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 64
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Vmadera 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 2
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
I'll give this one 48 hours as tomorrow is Christmas.
If you drew the person you hated at your workplace the most in the company Secret Santa, and could give them anything without fear of being fired, what would it be?
-
(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/91nS17wcG0L._SX355_.jpg)
-
Ex Lax laced coffee
Severe Urinary Tract infection
-
A job application to Arby’s and a Pep Boys coupon for blinker fluid.
A one-way plane ticket to Kiev.
-
Pirated copies of Gigli and Little Nicky labeled on DVD-Rs as Saving Private Ryan and The Shawshank Redemption
A box of suppositories with a card saying, “A little help to pull your head out of your ass.”
-
Chlamydia
-
A tiny record player, and a box of tissues.
-
Heartburn and Insomnia
-
Cameo by Kanye
Dim Sum lunch with "your choice of Kardashian"
Any Haken CD
-
Any Haken CD
Dang…….shots fired!
-
Any Haken CD
Dang…….shots fired!
This is definitely leader heading in to the back 9.
-
Gift card for a funeral home.
-
http://www.poopsenders.com/
-
Any Haken CD
Dang…….shots fired!
This is definitely leader heading in to the back 9.
Second time in a row forgetting I was running a round!
Nothing beats Haken... for a horrible gift to send someone!
-
:fistpump:
Standings:
jingle.boy 65
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Vmadera 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
hefdaddy42 2
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
Things the pilot wishes they wouldn’t have said while the intercom is on
-
Is Jamaica the one that looks like a turtle swimming west, or a whale swimming east?
-
Next time you take a piss, send in the new stewardess. I want to show her my thruster.
-
Did you like Top Gun: Maverick? Wait til today's flight.
-
Next time you take a piss, send in the new stewardess. I want to show her my thruster.
:lol Stewardess?! Jesus Christ. I thought I was old.
-
Next time you take a piss, send in the new stewardess. I want to show her my thruster.
:lol Stewardess?! Jesus Christ. I thought I was old.
That works both as a response to Tim, and an entry!
-
Well, what are they called?
-
Surely we can glide the last four miles after the gas runs out?
-
Next time you take a piss, send in the new stewardess. I want to show her my thruster.
:lol Stewardess?! Jesus Christ. I thought I was old.
That works both as a response to Tim, and an entry!
:lol
-
Hey Sam....after we land and we get to the Hotel....what do you say we fire back some shots and I'll then increase your 'cabin pressure'? It's been a long couple weeks away from home.....
-
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
-
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
That's the guys in the tower, but still :lol.
-
Anyone want to see a 747 do a 'flat spin'?
-
Don't trip, a few shots will get rid of these shakes right quick...
-
Don't trip, a few shots will get rid of these shakes right quick...
Reminds me of the movie Flight.
-
We have arrived in Texas.
-
What section of the plane did you seat the passengers with Covid?
-
I've fallen and I can't get up.
-
Doug, take the controls. I need to respond in the Scenes from a Hat thread!
-
I tell you what Mike....if that new stewardess keeps bending over like that at the supply closet I'm going to have a hard time controlling my fuselage
-
Practicing his Arabic on a North American flight.
"I don't care, I think Patrick Mahomes is the GOAT"
-
Gregg's double entendre nearly had it, until someone pulled out the Airplane! reference.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
You're up, Heffarino.
-
Holy shit!
Standings:
jingle.boy 65
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Vmadera 3
hefdaddy42 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
Government jobs you do NOT want
-
Lead Inspector - Department of Colostomy Bag Inspection
-
Secretary Of Orange for the Trump Administration.
-
IT Director for the Secret Service.
Press Secretary for Marjory Taylor Green
-
Bravo Leader of Ensure Unit - Tasked to assure that President Biden never runs out of Ensure
-
Texas power grid laborer
Defense attorney for PG&E
Bernie Sanders’ hairstylist
-
The one I left twenty years ago :tdwn
-
NYC Rat Overlong
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/02/nyregion/nyc-rat-control-job.html
-
United States House of Representatives Timekeeper
-
Sorry, guys. Things have been crazy.
United States House of Representatives Timekeeper
Winner!
-
Thanks, Hef.
Standings:
jingle.boy 65
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
Vmadera 3
hefdaddy42 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
New scene: The White House Chief of Staff walks into the oval office and says, "Mr. President, I've got some good news and some bad news..."
-
The good news is the shitter is free; the bad news is that Kamala just dropped a bomb in there.
The good news is McCarthy hasn't won the vote yet; the bad news is that Pelosi is trying to find enough Dems to vote for him so she can make her Friday evening Pilates class.
-
"The good news is we now have larger que cards with an easier font for you to regurgitate words off of, the bad news is you have no cognitive ability to actually read them....."
"The good news is you only have 669 more days of failing miserably as a president, The bad news is that orange a$$hole is trying to get back in here..."
"The good news is you're old and senile and won't remember this conversation, the bad news is Elon now has access to Hunter's laptop as well......."
-
"The good news is that your super bowl party invites went out to everyone in congress, the bad news is everyone said yes. We'll need porta-patties".
-
"The good news is that your super bowl party invites went out to everyone in congress, the bad news is everyone said yes. We'll need porta-patties".
Winner.
-
:metal
Standings:
jingle.boy 65
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
hefdaddy42 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
New scene: You are invited as a guest speaker for a high school graduation. You get nervous and the first sentence you say is...
-
"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."
-
"San Dimas High School Football Rules!"
"Would ya get a look at all the poontang here!"
-
"Wow....strange to be back here.....to think I got a BJ from the Home Economics teacher just right over there.........."
-
I was in jail and missed my graduation.
-
"I have to make this quick because 'technically' I'm not supposed to be within 1000 foot of any school"
-
"Principal Peterson ... nice pants. That was weird. I take back what I said about those pants, okay? Not that they're not nice pants. I mean, of course they are. They're great pants, you know. I just don't want you to think that all I'm doing is looking at your pants. I'm also looking at your face, and-and your shirt, your tie, all of which are lovely. Like a manly kind of lovely. You know what I mean? Good Lord, I'm not making much sense, am I? I'm gonna laugh about that one tonight. And I'm sure you will, too, when you take those pants off tonight. Not that I'm thinking about you taking your pants off! Nothing could be further from the truth! I mean, well, now, don't get me wrong. You know, it's not like I would be grossed out if you took your pants off. Go ahead, run around naked for all I care! After all, you'll do whatever you want to do. You're Principal Peterson, for crying out loud! ♪ With a knick knack paddy whack, give a dog a bone ♪ ♪ This old man came rolling home! ♪"
-
"I have to make this quick because 'technically' I'm not supposed to be within 1000 foot of any school"
:lol
-
Is jingle's quote a Big Bang Theory thing?
-
Is jingle's quote a Big Bang Theory thing?
No
-
I googled Principal Peterson nice pants and got a couple results showing Sheldon. Another reference or did you type all that up?
-
"Principal Peterson ... nice pants. That was weird. I take back what I said about those pants, okay? Not that they're not nice pants. I mean, of course they are. They're great pants, you know. I just don't want you to think that all I'm doing is looking at your pants. I'm also looking at your face, and-and your shirt, your tie, all of which are lovely. Like a manly kind of lovely. You know what I mean? Good Lord, I'm not making much sense, am I? I'm gonna laugh about that one tonight. And I'm sure you will, too, when you take those pants off tonight. Not that I'm thinking about you taking your pants off! Nothing could be further from the truth! I mean, well, now, don't get me wrong. You know, it's not like I would be grossed out if you took your pants off. Go ahead, run around naked for all I care! After all, you'll do whatever you want to do. You're Principal Peterson, for crying out loud! ♪ With a knick knack paddy whack, give a dog a bone ♪ ♪ This old man came rolling home! ♪"
Sorry for the delay, but this is the kind of stuff I was thinking :lol
You're up
-
"Principal Peterson ... nice pants. That was weird. I take back what I said about those pants, okay? Not that they're not nice pants. I mean, of course they are. They're great pants, you know. I just don't want you to think that all I'm doing is looking at your pants. I'm also looking at your face, and-and your shirt, your tie, all of which are lovely. Like a manly kind of lovely. You know what I mean? Good Lord, I'm not making much sense, am I? I'm gonna laugh about that one tonight. And I'm sure you will, too, when you take those pants off tonight. Not that I'm thinking about you taking your pants off! Nothing could be further from the truth! I mean, well, now, don't get me wrong. You know, it's not like I would be grossed out if you took your pants off. Go ahead, run around naked for all I care! After all, you'll do whatever you want to do. You're Principal Peterson, for crying out loud! ♪ With a knick knack paddy whack, give a dog a bone ♪ ♪ This old man came rolling home! ♪"
Sorry for the delay, but this is the kind of stuff I was thinking :lol
You're up
For those that didn't recognize it... it was Norm Peterson when he was hired on as a beer tester, and his final interview was with the President of the brewery. Rebecca had convinced him he should be nervous and blow it - and he did. Seemed to be the right fit for the scene.
-
I didn't recognize it. Who in the hell is Norm Peterson?
-
I didn't recognize it. Who in the hell is Norm Peterson?
This is easily the biggest wtf moment I've ever had with you. You might as well have asked who Andy Moog is.
How is there any possible way you don't know who Norm Peterson is. You're from Boston, ffs.
-
Andy Moog played for the Oilers right? :neverusethis:
-
Tim, Really? :lol
-
(https://www.themoviedb.org/t/p/w500/6qD0I3RPe2ivV5GdXgW3tJHSu1e.jpg)
-
Standings:
jingle.boy 66
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
hefdaddy42 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
Things not to say on a first date.
-
You're good looking! Our babies will be beautiful!
-
You're so much more beautiful in person than when looking at you through the shrubbery and dirty glass of your bedroom window
-
So glad we could get together after my fever blister cleared up
-
Your boobies are much nicer than the girl I went out with this afternoon.
-
So....after this, can you help me inspect this well I've been digging in my basement?
-
I’m DragonAttack on DTF
-
Thank you for making time to go out with me tonight. I called your daughter first but she said she was unavailable.
-
So if you come back home with me I just want to warn you that my dick is three inches long.
Wait, we’re still talking about the caption contest, right?
-
Well I'm going to have the Happy Meal, what about you?
Hi Mum.
These plates are novelty.........normally I just eat off the floor.
Mind if I call you Babe? Because you eat like a pig.
So do you like Winger?
-
"Seriously, a whole rack of ribs? no wonder you look the way you do"
-
So do you like Winger?
Winger winger, chicken dinger!
-
Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #2176 on: January 19, 2023, 04:45:18 AM »
Quote
Standings:
jingle.boy 66
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 14
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
hefdaddy42 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
Spectre manage to infiltrate Q branch with a spy and the first thing they do is lace all the canteen food with Magic Mushrooms. So while he is trippin what is the gadget Q makes for Bond?
-
Decoder ring for Scenes from a Hat suggestions
-
Red shirt, and brown pants.
-
Portable instant STD testing kit.
-
Martini seeking tie pin
Women-with-innuendo-names repelling aftershave
-
Portable instant STD testing kit.
Yeah that's the winner!
-
jingle.boy 66
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 16
Cool Chris 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
hefdaddy42 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
While searching Joe Biden's home and offices for classified materials, they were stunned beyond belief when they found...
-
The REAL Joe Biden sitting in a rocking chair reading fairy tales to one of Hunters bastard kids
-
Dwight Gooden’s rookie card.
14 skids of eggs
Betty White and Barbara Walters playing parcheesi.
-
Gallery display of Obama's life
-
Dave Manchester
-
Mike Pence reading what Mike had brought
-
Dave Manchester
:lol
-
His memory.
A swear jar.
A stack of magazines named "Milf Hunters." Hunter's collection obviously.
-
Reapsta's manifesto.
-
Jimmy Hoffa.
-
Belly lint.
-
Reapsta's manifesto.
:clap:
-
Joe Gatto eating fresh guac with hand rolled tortillas. Nom Nom.
-
Joe Gatto eating fresh guac with hand rolled tortillas. Nom Nom.
:lol
Side note: I saw his show in December, and while I had a great time, I left the show feeling bad for him. He is clearly trying really hard to move on from everything that happened to him and it shows.
-
Tim's shopping carts
-
Never heard of Joe Gatto.
I don't normally think of submissions when I submit a topic, but after I typed it in, I thought "Those 30,000 missing Hillary Clinton emails" and then I thought "Jimmy Hoffa."
So you are up Stadler.
-
Joe Gatto eating fresh guac with hand rolled tortillas. Nom Nom.
:lol
Side note: I saw his show in December, and while I had a great time, I left the show feeling bad for him. He is clearly trying really hard to move on from everything that happened to him and it shows.
What was that? The divorce? Is he permanently out with the other guys?
-
Jezuz H Christ on a popsicle-stick, Stadler. Pull your head out of the contrary trough for a few fuckin' seconds, and give us a new scene. SMH
So you are up Stadler.
-
Can do. Give me my morning coffee to come up with a scene...
-
I vote Gregg gets a +1 credit in the standings for his post to Bill to get off his a$$ :lol
-
jingle.boy 66
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 17
Cool Chris 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
hefdaddy42 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
I found this list of failed ideas for this years Super Bowl commercials...
-
Halftime performance with live vocals.
-
Joe Biden on ‘Jeopardy’ trying to answer a True or False question
-
A kids party with non-alcoholic beer from Budweiser.
-
A barber-shop quartet of Chris Murphy, Adam Schiff, Richard Blumenthal, and AOC ... with Bill Clinton on sax.
-
Ron Jeremy's new commercial for HIMS
-
Roseanne Barr
-
Batmen : The Movie - Featuring ALL the Batmens.
A collection of mammoth turds (AKA Billy Joels 25 least shite song collection as voted for by the Dream Theater community.)
-
Roseanne Barr
I think that was an ACTUAL commercial, though. :). :) :) :) :) : )
-
Tom Brady giving Patrick Mahomes a hug and whispering in his ear "You're the goat now, you were always better than me and will be in the future"
...then Stadler wakes up from his nightmare shaking uncontrollably.
-
Pronoun free dialogue
Gary Busey as the spokesperson
-
Tom Brady giving Patrick Mahomes a hug and whispering in his ear "You're the goat now, you were always better than me and will be in the future"
...then Stadler wakes up from his nightmare shaking uncontrollably.
Did you hack into my Alexa?!?!
Since that could actually be a real commercial, I'm giving this one the win.
-
Tom Brady giving Patrick Mahomes a hug and whispering in his ear "You're the goat now, you were always better than me and will be in the future"
...then Stadler wakes up from his nightmare shaking uncontrollably.
Did you hack into my Alexa?!?!
Since that could actually be a real commercial, I'm giving this one the win.
;D
jingle.boy 66
gmillerdrake 47
lonestar 25
Podaar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 17
Cool Chris 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
hefdaddy42 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
faizoff 1
Family friendly signs on the lawn
-
Honk if you don't hate your family
-
I've stuck this sign in Lorne Greene.
-
Get Off My Lawn.
-
As soon as you see me crap on your lawn, you're invited to have your dog do it on mine.
-
Come inside with us :heart
-
My Grass may be greener but my wife is much meaner
-
We keep our hedges trimmed.
Dandelion sanctuary.
-
Free Pollenation Demonstrations behind the Garage
-
Tim! Rake up your leaves before the wind blows them over here!
-
Tim! Rake up your leaves before the wind blows them over here!
That's an actual sign that my three neighbors across the street put up every fall. :lol
-
Tim! Rake up your leaves before the wind blows them over here!
What's hilarious about this is that I have a neighbor right across me who's name is Tim and we joke about the leaves. You're up!
-
Thanks!
jingle.boy 66
gmillerdrake 47
Podaar 26
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 17
Cool Chris 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
hefdaddy42 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
faizoff 1
Best-Man toasts that took a wrong turn.
-
... then there was this one time, at band camp....
... and then there's the story of how he got the nickname "Sonic".
-
The scenario reminded me of this:
https://youtu.be/5hmdmUm99ZQ?t=71
-
As you all know, Jeff and I have been best friends since grade school.
But what many of you may NOT know, including Jeff if I'm being honest, is that I also go way back with Becky, if you know what I mean.
-
- So I'll bet you didn't know the bride was a magician.... yep, the last three men she took an engagement ring from disappeared!
- So it's nice to see the groom's roommates here. His parents!
-
I'll leave this open until tomorrow morning...see if we get more responses.
-
……and I always thought their son looked more like Jeff’s brother Tom than him, but none of us really recall much from that weekend at Tahoe so Bless his soul for raising him as his own.
-
Straight after the speech I'm starting a sweepstake outside for how long will it be before we see them on Jeremy Kyle...
Shall I tell you how much I love this guy? He banged my Sister, He banged my Mother, and he tried to bang my Grandmother at her funeral - and yet we remain true friends. What a guy!
-
As you all know, Jeff and I have been best friends since grade school.
But what many of you may NOT know, including Jeff if I'm being honest, is that I also go way back with Becky, if you know what I mean.
Winner!
-
As you all know, Jeff and I have been best friends since grade school.
But what many of you may NOT know, including Jeff if I'm being honest, is that I also go way back with Becky, if you know what I mean.
Winner!
:djhef:
jingle.boy 66
gmillerdrake 47
Podaar 26
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 17
Cool Chris 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
hefdaddy42 4
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
faizoff 1
Rejected ideas for the next new Star Wars show on Disney +
-
What If? That Luke and Leia kiss on the platform WASN'T platonic!
-
Hunting Endor - Follow groups of contracted hunters as they work tirelessly to hunt down evasive Ewok's in order to meet the demanding quotas set by the burgeoning galactic taste for the furry critters meat which is considered a delicacy. The younger Ewok's fetch a particularly high price.
-
VH1 Behind The Music: Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes
-
Kinky Kyber Crystal's - Kyber crystals aren't just for the force users of the Galaxy. Explore the sordid underworld of the galactic sex industry and the sex toys that are designed for and powered by the rare mineral.
-
The Emperor's New Clothes - Behind the scenes look at the man who has crafted the Emperor's Black Hooded outfit for multiple decades and manages to keep his trusted position despite never altering the design.
-
Gary’s on a roll. Combine his two addictions, and there’s no competing with him.
-
The Real Housewives of Coruscant
-
Chewbacca wants to be referred to as They/Them/Theirs.
-
So You Think You Can Hunt … hosted by Ted Nugent.
-
Dancing With The Twi'lek Slaves!
-
A new faction forms aligning with neither the Dark or Light side. Creating a more of a Binary neutral side wielding rainbow coloured Lightsabres.
Jedi Academy the musical.
Snow White and the 7 Ewoks.
-
Squid Game: Dagobah
-
Big Brother - Kamino
-
Some good entries here so far.
OK if I pick the winner before end of day? Or is that going too soon?
-
Lifestyles of the Moist and Tanned. Follow former Rancor keeper, Malakili as he tours the sandscapes of Tattooine, profiling the 7 farming families as they strive to fill this year's moisture quotas.
-
Deadliest Snatch: Porg fishing
-
Deadliest Snatch Season 2: The Twi'lek Slaves
-
Deadliest Snatch: Porg fishing
This one made me audibly snort, something I am loath to do.
Winner!
-
jingle.boy 67
gmillerdrake 47
Podaar 26
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 17
Cool Chris 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
hefdaddy42 4
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
faizoff 1
Seems appropriate for today ....
Weird things to give up for Lent
-
Eating freshly clipped toe nails
Using dried skin as a Parmesan Cheese supplement
-
Posting in P/R
-
Using your home bathroom
-
Using any bathrooms.
-
Posting in P/R
I didn't ask for the BEST things to give up for LENT. :lol
-
ITT jingle wants hef to stop posting in P/R
-
Heavy Mouth Breathing
Peeping Tom Date Night
Mayonnaise Baths
-
Tantric Masturbation
-
Dignity and self-respect
-
Talking to your spouse
-
Religion
-
Tantric Masturbation
Not a damn chance.
-
Religion
The irony is rich with this one.
You win.
-
Thanks, Brotatochip!
jingle.boy 67
gmillerdrake 47
Podaar 27
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 17
Cool Chris 15
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
hefdaddy42 4
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
faizoff 1
New Scene:
Pet names for a significant other gone wrong.
-
Balls deep
-
Feetus.
-
The ex wife’s first name
Slutbunny
Titzbedraggin’
-
Queef Breath
Insanity Plea
Rage Inducer
-
Sweet Butt
-
My BBQ (Bitch Be Queen)
-
Lorena.
-
Lorena.
Deep cut
-
Lorena.
Deep cut
Don't get snippy.
-
Ho Bag
-
Y'all are cracking me up! Thanks for that.
This one though, considering the spelling, fuels my imagination and I've been chuckling at it since yesterday.
Feetus.
I can just imagine Tim climbing under cold winter covers and having the lovely Mrs. TAC playing footsie with him to help warm up the bed, only to have Tim whisper lamely, "Thanks my lovely little feet... us?" :lol
You're up, Tim.
-
jingle.boy 67
gmillerdrake 47
Podaar 27
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 17
Cool Chris 15
TAC 11
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
hefdaddy42 4
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
faizoff 1
New Scene:
You walk into your boss's office to quit, and you open the door and there's a goat in the office as well. What do you say to your boss?
-
I refuse to work another minute for this udderly ridiculous company!
-
Holy shit! You know Aaron Rodgers?!?!
-
I'm quitting, but to show I'm a nice guy I'm going to give you some advice. Sheep don't fight back as much as goats.
-
Is that your new escape goat?
-
Hey, I didn't know you had any kids. Nice to meet you Junior.
-
Mr. Brady, it's a pleasure to meet you.
-
Is that an antler in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
-
So long Goatfucker!
-
Is that an antler in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
Nice! You're up Gary!
-
:tup Thanks Tim!
STANDINGS
jingle.boy 67
gmillerdrake 48
Podaar 27
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 17
Cool Chris 15
TAC 11
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
hefdaddy42 4
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
faizoff 1
New Scene:
Your wife puts you in charge of the ‘theme’ for the monthly dinner party with the neighbors…..you come up with….?
-
Dream Theater drummer auditions.
-
Converse like Craig Berube
Wrong answers only
Deodorant free dining
-
Debating the proper use of personal pronouns.
Grocery store cart returning etiquette.
-
Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.
-
Opposite Politics Night!
-
Rusty Wind Instrument Orchestra
-
Rusty Wind Instrument Orchestra
Trombone?
-
I'll let this go for a few more hours......
-
Spouse swap bingo
-
Grocery store cart returning etiquette.
Going with the deep cut here, you're up! :tup
-
jingle.boy 67
gmillerdrake 48
Podaar 27
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 17
Cool Chris 16
TAC 11
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
hefdaddy42 4
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
faizoff 1
Forget Quiet Quitting, that is so 2022. The new trend in the workplace is....
-
Sexy Starting - Show up first day of work dressed to seduce and entice
-
Actually doing your job without being a whiny assed bitch.
-
Drunken Delivery - Deliver at least one of your weekly metrics while chugging a six pack.
-
Cubicle shitting. Why get up? Don't stop working!
-
Costanza'g - naps under your desk.
-
My Ass Was Harassed - File as many harassment charges as possible against as many high level executives as possible until one sticks and you win a major lawsuit
HR Roulette - Flip to a random page in your HR policy, whatever policy it is....immediately violate it and see what happens
-
Sexual Harassment Fridays!
-
False Accusation Fridays.
-
Spin the Bottle Happy Hour
-
Glory Hole breakout room.
-
Odious Opining
-
Cubicle shitting. Why get up? Don't stop working!
The bluntness of this one makes it a winner for me.
-
Cubicle shitting. Why get up? Don't stop working!
The bluntness of this one makes it a winner for me.
:lol
jingle.boy 67
gmillerdrake 48
Podaar 27
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 17
Cool Chris 16
TAC 11
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
hefdaddy42 5
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
faizoff 1
Lesser well-known sequels to classic films
-
Peacefully Pass - Follow John McClane in his last few weeks of life at Hospice
-
Gone With The Way of the Water
The Maltese Pigeon
Schindler's To Do List
The Grapes of Gluttony
Okfellas
Greatfellas
DTFellas
-
Hold the Pulp Fiction
Low Orbit Wars
Slow Dances with Prarie Dogs
-
Children of the Soybean Patch
Mission Very Accomplishable
-
Andromeda Vaccination
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, The Fat, and the Tall
The Bourne Impotency
Juan Spewed Over the Cuckold's Chest
-
Suggest we keep this clean so that someone might be able to use the "Pron movie title adaptations" as a future scene ;) :D
-
Suggest we keep this clean so that someone might be able to use the "Pron movie title adaptations" as a future scene ;) :D
Ha! I was thinking that Gregg just used his search history to populate a reply.
-
Suggest we keep this clean so that someone might be able to use the "Pron movie title adaptations" as a future scene ;) :D
:lol
-
Suggest we keep this clean so that someone might be able to use the "Pron movie title adaptations" as a future scene ;) :D
Ha! I was thinking that Gregg just used his search history to populate a reply.
Nah. I've just never forgiven Chad for giving the victory to someone else in spite of my superior submission. I've been waiting for an excuse to use it again. :lol
-
Suggest we keep this clean so that someone might be able to use the "Pron movie title adaptations" as a future scene ;) :D
Ha! I was thinking that Gregg just used his search history to populate a reply.
Nah. I've just never forgiven Chad for giving the victory to someone else in spite of my superior submission. I've been waiting for an excuse to use it again. :lol
He does that a lot :biggrin:
-
The Big Lebowski and the world of pain
-
Suggest we keep this clean so that someone might be able to use the "Pron movie title adaptations" as a future scene ;) :D
Ha! I was thinking that Gregg just used his search history to populate a reply.
Nah. I've just never forgiven Chad for giving the victory to someone else in spite of my superior submission. I've been waiting for an excuse to use it again. :lol
Man you got a long memory. I did a search, and that goes back to page 14 on the ORIGINAL Scenes thread. Wow. Guess we can't do that topic again!
-
Schindler's To Do List
Winner!
-
jingle.boy 68
gmillerdrake 48
Podaar 27
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 17
Cool Chris 16
TAC 11
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
hefdaddy42 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
faizoff 1
Commandments that didn't make the Top 10
-
Thou shalt not use 'thou shalt not' in proclaiming commandments. It's weird......
Don't be dicks to each other.
-
Thou shalt not ruin the "Political Humor" thread with "serious topics".
-
Simon Says boil drinking water
-
Thou shall always return your shopping cart...
Sorry, I had to :P
-
Do not thank me after your team wins. I had nothing to do with it.
-
Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
-
Thou shalt not covet thine ex-roommate's netflix password.
-
Don't be dicks to each other.
This should've been #1. Yer up Gare
-
Do not thank me after your team wins. I had nothing to do with it.
One of my favorite quotes: "I never heard a ballplayer thanking god after going 0-fer-4 with three strikeouts." Sparky Anderson
-
Thanks Chad......sorry for the delay fellas.
jingle.boy 68
gmillerdrake 49
Podaar 27
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 17
Cool Chris 16
TAC 11
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
hefdaddy42 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
faizoff 1
Next Scene:
First sentence or two in your closing argument 'defending' an un-defendable client who is 1000% guilty of the crime they've been accused of.
-
"Picture yourself on a boat in a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies."
"The Defendant, Mr. Orenthal James Simpson, is now afforded an opportunity to argue the case, if you will, but I'm not going to argue with you, ladies and gentlemen. What I'm going to do is to try and discuss the reasonable inferences which I feel can be drawn from this evidence. "
-
I'm only doing this for the paycheque.
-
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, as a reminder, in all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an IMPARTIAL jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defense.
-
"Look, he did it, ok?..."
-
Can we just wrap this up? The Leafs are on tonight.
-
Can we just wrap this up? The Leafs are on tonight.
:metal
-
Gimme a couple more….I’ll pick today
-
Can we just all agree that the victim had it coming to him? He was an asshole.
-
Fuck this noise…bring out the white women!!!
-
Sorry for the delay fellas…….started a new job and have been scrambling.
This one was my style……
Can we just all agree that the victim had it coming to him? He was an asshole.
You’re up!
-
Thank you, your honor. I am off to work, will post later today.
-
With the collapse of the Silicon Valley Bank, Congress is imposing a new law on banks that states...
-
"Stop hiring people that have zero background in finance or business management to run multi-billion dollar institutions"
Monopoly money to be used on all insider trading and other illegal transactions
-
Ok well that's one submission.... Winner by default?
-
Ok well that's one submission.... Winner by default?
Ehh….let it go the weekend and se if there are a few more.
-
Money is obsolete.
-
Every customer gets a lollipop.
-
In the event of a bank collapse, the government shall bail out the affected institutions, as long as the CEOs pinky swear they did their best to avoid the collapse.
In the event of a bank collapse, all affected institutions must issue a statements that begins with " so what had happened was..."
-
It's fixed.
-
Every customer gets a lollipop.
This made me chuckle. Reminded me of this bit from Seinfeld, where every client was supposed to get a "hello."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IN6cJ_wGmsk
-
Bankers must first perform at least 50 hours of on site training with monopoly money before they are allowed access to the securities market.
-
Can you count?
You're hired!
-
Sorry guys I wasn't clear TAC wins this round.
-
I DIDNT HEAR NO BELL.
-
I DIDNT HEAR NO BELL.
-
(https://y.yarn.co/d927b367-862e-415b-adb6-ee933a32796b_text.gif)
-
Sorry guys I wasn't clear TAC wins this round.
That's okay, I wasn't clear who was even running the scene...
-
jingle.boy 68
gmillerdrake 49
Podaar 27
lonestar 25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland 23
Stadler 17
Cool Chris 17
TAC 12
Sir GuitarCozmo 11
TheSilentHam 10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam 8
El Barto 7
Zydar 7
Snow Dog 7
JayOctavarium 6
hefdaddy42 5
TheLordOfTheStrings 5
MetalJunkie 5
Mister Gold 4
Jonnybaxy 4
LeeHarveyKennedy 5
Soupytwist 5
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra 3
Master Cup-Zula 3
millahh 3
Prog Snob 3
Scorpion 3
984759827 2
bout to crash 2
contest_sanity 2
FlyingBIZKIT 2
Jaffa 2
robwebster 2
Ruba 2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC 1
chknptpie 1
der Ruhige Schinken 1
Fiery Winds 1
FlyingBIZKIT 1
Ħ 1
Jamesman 1
Lolzeez 1
Lucien 1
Pols Voice 1
Ravenheart 1
soundgarden 1
Super Star Wars 1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1
faizoff 1
Next Scene:
You have announced your candidacy for President of DTF. What is your election slogan?
-
Vute kingshtmglsnd 2025?
-
Make Dream Theater Portnoy-ish again
-
As my first act as president, I will issue an order stating anyone in the 'Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes' thread who only has 1 point shall not be included by name in the point totals at the start of each new round.
-
In the interest of diversity, equity, and inclusion, I declare each page of the Official Iron Maiden Discussion Thread must feature dialogue on Blaze Bayley and his contributions to the band.
-
She's only seventeen, Daddy says she's too young but she's old enough for me.
-
Dream Theater deserves Moore.
-
Dream Theater deserves Moore.
:clap:
-
Pointing out the unfunny since 2014!
-
DTF: We give you more J-Metal per metric ton.
-
If elected, I will accept the demotion.
-
Win if you can, lose if you must, but always update a thread in a timely manner.
-
Win if you can, lose if you must, but always update a thread in a timely manner.
lol
-
In the interest of diversity, equity, and inclusion, I declare each page of the Official Iron Maiden Discussion Thread must feature dialogue on Blaze Bayley and his contributions to the band.
We were off to a great start, but this one made me laugh.
You're up Chris!
-
In the interest of diversity, equity, and inclusion, I declare each page of the Official Iron Maiden Discussion Thread must feature dialogue on Blaze Bayley and his contributions to the band.
We were off to a great start, but this one made me laugh.
You're up Chris!
So yeah. bad timing on that one with the news about his health...
Anyhoo...
MLB's opening day is Thursday, and this season they are instituting some new rules to help spark fan interest. The best idea for making the sport more exciting that won't be implemented this season would be...
-
Dress in drag
-
An obstacle course will be implemented between 3rd and 4th base.
-
Ball boys in speedos and ball girls in bikinis.
-
Underhand pitching.
-
Everytime someone gets a homerun, the defense team must meet by second base and perform the chicken dance. If the homerun is a grand slam, then they dance to Thriller instead.
-
Mandatory 6" stiletto footwear
-
Did some clean up and Added Cool Chris's last two wins.......
STANDINGS
jingle.boy - 68
gmillerdrake - 49
Podaar - 27
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
kingshmegland - 23
Stadler -17
Cool Chris - 18
TAC - 11
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
JayOctavarium - 6
Soupytwist, LeeHarveyKennedy, MetalJunkie, TheLordOfTheStrings, hefdaddy42 - 5
Vmadera, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Faizoff, Dragon Attack, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
-
Five players from each team and one catcher from each team on the field at once, the field is shortened to 200' long and 85' wide, boards surround the field, the field is flooded with water and then frozen......the players then put ice skates on and instead of bats they use long sticks with blades to hit not the baseball....but a small galvanized piece of rubber into nets at opposite sides of the filed that are protected by the catchers.
-
Did some clean up and Added Cool Chris's last two wins.......
STANDINGS
jingle.boy - 68
gmillerdrake - 49
Podaar - 27
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
kingshmegland - 23
Stadler -17
Cool Chris - 18
TAC - 11
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
JayOctavarium - 6
Soupytwist, LeeHarveyKennedy, MetalJunkie, TheLordOfTheStrings, hefdaddy42 - 5
Vmadera, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Faizoff, Dragon Attack, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
I be added a win to Chris when I posted mine.
-
corrected.....
STANDINGS
jingle.boy - 68
gmillerdrake - 49
Podaar - 27
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
kingshmegland - 23
Stadler -17
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 11
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
JayOctavarium - 6
Soupytwist, LeeHarveyKennedy, MetalJunkie, TheLordOfTheStrings, hefdaddy42 - 5
Vmadera, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Faizoff, Dragon Attack, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
-
For even numbered inning, a football shaped ball will be used instead.
-
If we have to go to extra innings, we will switch directions. Run to third base first, then second, then first, then home.
-
You pick up a giant Teddy Bear rounding third when you hit a home run.
-
During the 7th inning stretch, all players do a line of coke to make things interesting to close out the game.
-
Instead of umpires saying “You’re out” they now say “ Get the fuck outta here!”
-
Foul balls are now redeemable for $20 at all concession stands.
(our little league fields did this back in the day....it wasn't $20 though they were worth a quarter)
-
Chewing tobacco is replaced with Ayahuasca leaves
-
During the 7th inning stretch, all players do a line of coke to make things interesting to close out the game.
Didn't half the teams in the early 80s try this already?
-
Silly walks to first base.
Michael Jackson slide to second base.
The Hustle to third base.
Runway walks to home.
-
Pitcher can move forward seven paces and pitch to one batter per inning with a whiffle ball.
-
If we have to go to extra innings, we will switch directions. Run to third base first, then second, then first, then home.
Better yet, batter's choice as to which direction he wants to take. Each and every at-bat.
-
Suicide squeeze is now allowed on umps.
-
Boobs.
-
Boobs.
When the temperature reaches 90 degrees, players are allowed to play shirtless.
-
Boobs.
That's a double. Also 2nd base.
-
Boobs.
When the temperature reaches 90 degrees, players are allowed to play shirtless.
Hummidititties!!
-
Boobs.
That's a double. Also 2nd base.
This guy knows what's up.
-
And with that gmillerdrake is half way to the century mark!
During the 7th inning stretch, all players do a line of coke to make things interesting to close out the game.
ingle.boy - 68
gmillerdrake - 50
Podaar - 27
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
kingshmegland - 23
Stadler -17
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 11
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
JayOctavarium - 6
Soupytwist, LeeHarveyKennedy, MetalJunkie, TheLordOfTheStrings, hefdaddy42 - 5
Vmadera, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Faizoff, Dragon Attack, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
-
Well…..thank you, lots of good ones in that batch.
Next Scene:
Replace or Add a word in a TV Show, Movie or popular song title to create a more mischievous or provocative title.
-
Field of Wet Dreams
(the first of a hundred titles this round should get)
-
Field of Wet Dreams
If you build it, they will come.
-
Breakfast at Tiffany's Sister's.
-
Sex Toy Story
-
Pile Driving Miss Daisy
-
Star Trek: Deep Space Sixty-Nine
Shadow and His Bone
Bachelor: The Mandalorian
The Black Book of Boba Fett
He/She-Hulk
-
Star Whores
Close Encounters Of The Third Hole
-
Long Weapon
Plow Hard
Big Trouble in Little 'Gina.
-
Mr. Robot's doctor
Game of shitty thrones
True/False Detective
-
Monday Night Raw Dog
-
Eat The Parents
-
Prematurely Fast and Furious
-
Game of Porcelin Thrones
Big Gang Bang Theory
(Gotta say, though, best one in awhile. There’s like five or six that are stone cold winners here.)
-
Barney Driller
-
The Golden Shower Girls
-
Tax Return of the Jedi.
There Will be Menstrual Blood.
Watchmen Masturbate.
-
Herpie The Love Bug
-
Tax Return of the Jedi.
That humored me a heck of a lot.more than I would have anticipated.
-
Tax Return of the Jedi.
There Will be Menstrual Blood.
Watchmen Masturbate.
These are pure gold.
-
The Empire Strikes Bareback
The Shawshank Skank Redemption
The Good, The Bad, and the Butt Ugly
Snow White Bangs the Seven Dwarfs
-
2 Girls 1 Tin Cup
-
Just realised I did it wrong, whoops.
-
Men in Black Women
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Highway
-
Parking Nightmare on Elm Street.
Shang Chi and the Legend of the Cock Rings.
Batman Begins Dogging.
101 Squashed Dalmatians
-
Schindler's Shopping List
The Third Man In
Dances Dirty with Wolves
Batman Returns Purchases (with apologies to soupytwist)
-
Four weddings at a funeral
Pillow Fight Club
The Da Vinci Bro-Code
The Devil Wears Jordans
Some Kind of Wonderful Butt
-
Freddy Got Fingered Again
-
I gotta be honest.....I have no idea how to pick a winner this round. Nearly every one of these are GOLD.......
-
Schindler's Lust
Lawrence of the Labia
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Together Again
-
Cherry Poppins
-
Chino Chino Bang Bang
-
Cats Independence Day
-
Alright....I'm making an executive decision here and awarding a point for everyone. There are WAY too many good ones here for one victor.
However, Soupytwist gets to pick the next Scene for his 'Tax Return of the Jedi'
Updated Standings
ingle.boy - 69
gmillerdrake - 50
Podaar - 28
lonestar - 25
kingshmegland - 24
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
JayOctavarium - 6
Hefdaddy42- 6
Soupytwist - 6
MetalJunkie - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Vmadera - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, Dragon Attack, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, wolfking, Vmadera00, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
-
Dammit, I just came here to post, "Ferris Bueller's Getting Off"
-
Dammit, I just came here to post, "Ferris Bueller's Getting Off"
:lol
-
By-Tor and the Snow Cone
The Waddams Family
-
Cool!
Next Scene :
James Bond films are full of innuendo laced female character names such as - Pussy Galore, Plenty O'Toole, Holly Goodhead, and Xenia Onatopp. Come up with a new Bond girl name.
-
Boskalicious
-
Kartrea Turner.
-
Wilbeth Wheelbarrow.
-
Ana Lee
-
Nita Fuselage
-
Ivana Humpalot
-
Doggy Kathleen
-
Dina Mo Hummer
Ilene Dover
Infruma Behind
-
Eysucya DicNow
-
Tits McGhee
-
Dumi Nao
-
Ben Dover (she/her)
-
Aurora Peepshow
-
Yes Period
-
Muffy Mulva
-
Poppy Cerise
-
Kingshmegland
-
Imas Quirter
-
Assy McAss Face
-
Sally Sweetcooter
-
Grumpy McTac.
-
Grumpy McTac.
No real names!
-
Ka-Ress Yornutz
-
Sally Sweetcooter
Now that actually may be a real Bond girl name...
-
Storm Fontaine
-
Honey Potter
Filma Buttle
Flower DeFyle
-
Lots of funny ones the winner is
Imas Quirter
Took me a few seconds to work it out, then caused me a fit of giggles.
Updated Standings
ingle.boy - 69
gmillerdrake - 51
Podaar - 28
lonestar - 25
kingshmegland - 24
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
JayOctavarium - 6
Hefdaddy42- 6
Soupytwist - 6
MetalJunkie - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Vmadera - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, Dragon Attack, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, wolfking, Vmadera00, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
-
the winner is
Imas Quirter
Took me a few seconds to work it out, then caused me a fit of giggles.
Really? It seems like a bit of a stretch to me. I like the entries that sounded like they could be real names... like... Anita Dickensyde
-
:D :D :tup
(well, my offering that used a DT song title didn't work, but Ima did make me laugh as well....)
-
Well OK then, thanks :tup
Next Scene:
Wrong/Inappropriate things to say at a eulogy
-
"Wow, this crowd is as dead as my mom is." *rimshot*
-
I'm sorry for your loss. What's your phone number again?
-
You look hot in black.
-
** Walks up to the person giving the eulogy and slaps them side the head. **
-
"I can feel him looking down on us, like the condescending bastard he always was".
-
Mom didn’t really sweat much for a fat woman.
-
It took us long, but we are finally here.
-
Not a "scene" but one of Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck..." quips was "if you ever cracked a beer during a eulogy..."
Also not a scene, but reminds me of a joke I heard about a young lady who got tired of her old Grandmother saying to her "You're next" anytime they went to a wedding. So one time when they were at a funeral, the young lady said to her Grandma "You're next."
-
Al was a lucky man. It took me 7 times to kill him.
-
The guy gave a great blowjob.
-
Bill told me how he grew up in Arkansas, where the men are men and the sheep are scared.
-
Mom didn’t really sweat much for a fat woman.
Winna! You're up Gregg :tup
Updated Standings
ingle.boy - 69
gmillerdrake - 51
Podaar - 29
lonestar - 25
kingshmegland - 24
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
JayOctavarium - 6
Hefdaddy42- 6
Soupytwist - 6
MetalJunkie - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Vmadera - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, Dragon Attack, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, wolfking, Vmadera00, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
-
Thanks, my man!
New Scene:
Two-thousand and twenty-three years ago, an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it, and said...
-
Man alive do I have to pinch the mother of all loaves!
-
You're never going to believe this but........
-
Nail me to a cross if I have to move that rock again. Jesus.
Thankfully I had my Jesusaide to boost my God muscles.
Jerusalem really gives you the swamp ass, rolling rocks.
-
...the main reason I could move that stone was because I'm a vegan and I do cross fit.
-
I actually moved that my dick.
-
"Heeeeeere's Johnny!"
"Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?"
-
Thanks, my man!
New Scene:
Two-thousand and twenty-three years ago, an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it, and said...
I'm too old for this shit.
-
Hail Satan!
-
Anyone got a Bud Light?
The last thing I remember was telling her to “calm down”
-
Two-thousand and twenty-three years ago, an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it, and said...
'OK, who snuck in the chocolate eggs?'
'Before you depart, let's pray one rosary. It's the newest version, fresh off the presses. Look at what we've attached to the end. You like?'
-
Man, am I glad there are no bunnies around today. I hate bunnies.
-
The disciples said to meet them at the stone so we could smoke up the rest of that Myrrh
-
Who wants to earn their wings today?
-
Man, am I glad there are no bunnies around today. I hate bunnies.
I was thinking of adding something along those lines. :tup
A couple more:
'I know I was supposed to get you Thursday night, but there's no GPS towers around here. What did I miss?'
'I just flew down from Heaven.....and man, are my wings tired!' <rim shot>
-
Thanks guys, I really enjoyed everyone's responses. Still, I do need to choose just one.
'OK, who snuck in the chocolate eggs?'
I choose you.
Updated Standings
Jingle.boy - 69
gmillerdrake - 51
Podaar - 29
lonestar - 25
kingshmegland - 24
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
JayOctavarium - 6
Hefdaddy42- 6
Soupytwist - 6
MetalJunkie - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Vmadera - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, wolfking, Vmadera00, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
-
Praise cheeses! ;)
You are the commissioner of the newly formed WTFL. Your objective is to come up with (in)appropriate badly named sports teams. The more alliterative or semi alliterative, the better (ie Baltimore Murders, Towson Titmice)
-
Washington Foreskins
-
New England Rasists.
N.Y. Towers
Arizona AR-15's
-
Utah Godbotherers
-
Jacksonville Jack Offs.
New England Brexiteers.
Buffalo Bisons.
Iowa Incest.
-
Tampa Pussy Pirates
Washington Cum-in-ur-undies
-
Tennessee Clansmen
-
Cincinnati Climax
Orlando Orgasms
Cleveland Steamers
-
San José Snowflakes.
-
Tallahassee Tallywhackers
San Antonio Gringo's
-
Baltimore Whoreioles
-
Debbie Does Dallas Cowboys
San Francisco 69ers
Pittsburgh Strippers
-
Buffalo Bisons.
Are you a Norfolk Tides fan that hates the Bisons? :D
There actually was a WFL team called the Shreveport Steamer. :facepalm:
Updated Standings
Jingle.boy - 69
gmillerdrake - 51
Podaar - 29
lonestar - 25
kingshmegland - 25 (or whoosie whatever)
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
JayOctavarium - 6
Hefdaddy42- 6
Soupytwist - 7
MetalJunkie - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Vmadera - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, wolfking - 2
XJDenton, Vmadera00, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
'Foreskins' gave me the biggest laugh, 'Jack offs' was alliterative, and 'AR-15s' and 'Towers' were sadly on point (1 point to the participants), but I'll go with
San Francisco 69ers
Kade, you're next!
-
DA, you should have seen the ideas that Kade and I discussed in PM that we deemed inappropriate for general consumption. :omg:
-
Da fuq!?!? Nothing is inappropriate for this group!
-
Chad, I was waiting for a couple from you.
Post them, Podaar. Use an a**terisk or two if needed
-
Chad, I was waiting for a couple from you.
Sorry man. I've been wearing milk-bone underwear lately (if you get the Peterson-ism)
-
Oh wow! Ok, this is the second time I've actually answered a question! I'll have to look at the OP for the rules here.
-
Alright, keeping in crude territory;
Your partner comes home from shopping and walks in on you butt naked jerking off while sniffing her underwear while watching porn. And you say.....
-
Did you remember the milk?
-
‘Not my fault that you didn’t do the laundry before you left.’
‘Heeeeere’s Johnny!’
‘Sorry, I forgot my DTF password, so….’
-
I was thinking of you, really
-
Your partner comes home from shopping and walks in on you butt naked jerking off while sniffing her underwear while watching porn. ..
Did you mean to post this in the Exasperating Thread? ;D
-
Your partner comes home from shopping and walks in on you butt naked jerking off while sniffing her underwear while watching porn. ..
Did you mean to post this in the Exasperating Thread? ;D
Nah... 'what made you happy today'.
-
Wanna go for a ride?
-
Hey Hon, could you post the standings in Scenes From A Hat thread? I'm a little busy.
-
Can you pass the Grey Poupon?
-
Your partner comes home from shopping and walks in on you butt naked jerking off while sniffing her underwear while watching porn. ..
Did you mean to post this in the Exasperating Thread? ;D
Nah... 'what made you happy today'.
I was going to post this a couple of weeks ago in the 'things that p*ssed you off today' thread, but my hand was busy.
-
Wanna smell my finger?
-
Hold on, I'm almost done.
-
I saw on tiktok that semen helps to get the brown spots out.
-
So do you still want to go snorkeling on vacation?
-
Sorry I don't normally do this by myself but I called your sister and she said she wasn't available today.
-
This underwear is vintage yesterday.
-
With the lights out, it's less dangerous, here we are now, entertain us, I feel stupid, and contagious
-
Hey……can you change the channel to ‘Dr. Pimple Popper’……I’m ready to climax.
-
Rookie question. How long do we let run before picking a winner? One day, two days?
-
Rookie question. How long do we let run before picking a winner? One day, two days?
Until you're um..finished. ;D
-
Rookie question. How long do we let run before picking a winner? One day, two days?
As long as the smell lingers.
-
Rookie question. How long do we let run before picking a winner? One day, two days?
Until you feel satisfied...
-
They both could be answers to my question, or a response to the scene! :lol
-
Hey babe come back in a minute or two, I got something to show you
-
Rookie question. How long do we let run before picking a winner? One day, two days?
Till you run out of underwear.
-
Your partner comes home from shopping and walks in on you butt naked jerking off while sniffing her underwear while watching porn. And you say.....
Hey
-
Hey……can you change the channel to ‘Dr. Pimple Popper’……I’m ready to climax.
This one made me lol. I love the sheer disgustingness of it that it wins it for me. Well done Gary.
Updated Standings
Jingle.boy - 69
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 29
lonestar - 25
kingshmegland - 25 (or whoosie whatever)
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
JayOctavarium - 6
Hefdaddy42- 6
Soupytwist - 7
MetalJunkie - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Vmadera - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, wolfking - 2
XJDenton, Vmadera00, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
You're up Gary.
-
Damn to slow!
-
Damn to slow!
Post anyway for a laugh. I wasn't sure how long to leave it open, as I said, I've hardly ventured in here until recently.
-
Well thank you :tup
With the influx of conspiracy’s and what not these days…..next scene is:
Worlds Worst/Most Odd/Improbable Secret Societies
-
Dr. Pimple Popper Erotica Society
-
Dr. Pimple Popper Erotica Society
:lol Trying to double down hey.
-
The Fluid Gender Foaming Enema Commando Force and Hawaiian Pizza Parlor Agenda
-
The DTF Little Black Book Club.
-
The shopping cart corral return refusal cartel
-
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (she of the tri-pronged prehensile clitoris) Memorial Prostate Stimulus Enforcement Battalion
Anqueefa
-
The Millard Fillmore Society
-
Dr. Pimple Popper Erotica Society
:lol Trying to double down hey.
Not sure. It's just that I've watched maybe 5x my normal amount of porn over the last couple of days, and I can't get the thought of Gary's prior post out of my head. <insert smiley or frown? > ;)
-
Reasonable Conservatives. Membership Roster: Gary.
-
Snickersnee Society. "Thrusting since 1823!"
-
Flat Birth Society.
-
Spy Dogs Society
-
The How Great Has James Labrie Been Lately For the Deaf Society.
-
Anqueefa
This made me laugh :lol You're up Gregg :tup (Sorry for the lame category...sometimes they're better in your head)
Updated Standings
Jingle.boy - 69
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 30
lonestar - 25
kingshmegland - 25 (or whoosie whatever)
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
JayOctavarium - 6
Hefdaddy42- 6
Soupytwist - 7
MetalJunkie - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Vmadera - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, wolfking - 2
XJDenton, Vmadera00, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
-
And me so confident with the prehensile clitoris bit. Sometimes you never know what's going to work. Puns for the win. :biggrin:
New Scene:
First date mishaps
-
You accidentally airdrop a video of your prehensile clitoris ‘being used’ to your date and entire restaurant
-
Had to look up 'prehensile'. Never seen that word used in any context, clitoral or otherwise.
-
First date mishaps
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DGGQiU-W0AAi5sd?format=jpg&name=900x900)
-
I'm sorry, all my pants are in the wash.
-
In my defense....you need to enunciate a bit better when asking for utensils. Fork and Fu%k can be easily confused.
-
'Yeah, my handle on DTF is <insert name>'
'So good to finally meet you. Oh, and by the way, this is my wife.'
'How 'bout we pull into Taco Bell?'
'Sorry, I'm out of the ribbed. I used three of them last night.'
-
Honestly, I have no idea how the spoon wound up there.
-
This is a kitten and the kitten would like me to touch your butt.
-
Two for flinching!
-
This is a kitten and the kitten would like me to touch your butt.
:rollin :rollin :rollin
-
This literally made me laugh out loud. :clap:
Two for flinching!
Your up Hef.
Updated Standings
Jingle.boy - 69
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 30
lonestar - 25
kingshmegland - 25 (or whoosie whatever)
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Hefdaddy42, Soupytwist, Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Vmadera - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, wolfking - 2
XJDenton, Vmadera00, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
-
Sweet!
OK, here we go.
Dumbest ways to get caught violating the NFL's gambling policy.
-
Wow, look at all these choices. So hard to decide.
-
Posting on social media how much money you made by throwing a game.
Calling your mom in the middle of a team meeting, and telling her how much to bet on the opposite team.
-
Be Antonio Brown.
-
Roger Goodell comes to your BBQ and finds all your betting sheets and books laying around in your garage.
-
Cite Pete Rose as an investing “savant”
-
Zach Wilson walks into the Jets front office, struts over and slaps a stack of bills on the GM's desk, "I'll betcha $500 we lose the next game."
-
When The quarterback gets to the line and his cadence is " Parlay Parlay 12 against the spread over 46 on two hut hut"
-
Tom Brady cheated.
-
"Taylor Heinicke was today fired for violating the NFL betting policy, when he accidentally shouted out betting odds instead of the intended cadence in a 3rd quarter play in their game against Jacksonville Jaguars this Sunday."
Yes, I did need to google all of those names and terms.
-
Cite Pete Rose as an investing “savant”
Winner!
-
Updated Standings
Jingle.boy - 70
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 30
lonestar - 25
kingshmegland - 25 (or whoosie whatever)
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Hefdaddy42, Soupytwist, Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Vmadera - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, wolfking - 2
XJDenton, Vmadera00, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Little known fact, in the early 80s, Microsoft had initially hired Sam Kinison to write error messages. Some of his initial drafts were ....
-
Image not found--you dirty, contemptible, miserable, LYING BIIIIIIIIIITCH!
-
Error : Unknown Variable 'Sam Kinison'
-
Error: Ooohh, OOOhhh, OOOOHHHH!!!
-
Error: You broke it bruh
-
After searching for porn..
Error: If you could fuck really well, she'd neVER
LEAVE YOU OHHHHH OHHHHH OHHHHHHH
-
Error 404: Not Found
What are you really looking for? SAY IT!!!!!! SAY IT!!!!!
SAY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
"Crash detected - External driver failure has cause a non-recoverable internal error."
-
Unauthorized hard drive activity detected. For your protection, run a virus scan...you know, maybe from that strange laptop you brought home last week you ungrateful, cheating, witch!
Oooh Oooooooh
-
Error: It seems you found a way a to break the system. Congratulations. Please restart everything and don't do that again.
-
Boot error: FAT32 not detected. More like FAT256, round boy. Take a step away from the cheeseburger, for chrissake.
-
Boot error: FAT32 not detected. More like FAT256, round boy. Take a step away from the cheeseburger, for chrissake.
Well, that one hit close to home! :) :) :)
-
"Crash detected - External driver failure has cause a non-recoverable internal error."
I was going to submit something along these lines, but would never have crafted something so brilliant as this.
-
"Crash detected - External driver failure has cause a non-recoverable internal error."
I was going to submit something along these lines, but would never have crafted something so brilliant as this.
That took me a minute; that IS brilliant.
-
I don't get it. Is that a Sam Kinison reference?
-
I don't get it. Is that a Sam Kinison reference?
Tim, how did Sam die?
-
I don't get it. Is that a Sam Kinison reference?
Tim, how did Sam die?
I don't remember.
Quick search says it was a car accident....aah I get it now.
-
Error 404. Not found. Little sailor in a boat, my ass.
-
Thanks to Gregg for reminding me I was the judge! Work's been a bear the past 2 weeks.
As good as the 'crash detected' response was, this one gave me the best lol
Boot error: FAT32 not detected. More like FAT256, round boy. Take a step away from the cheeseburger, for chrissake.
Next scene over to you ...
-
:police: :hat
Updated Standings
Jingle.boy - 70
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 31
lonestar - 25
kingshmegland - 25 (or whoosie whatever)
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Hefdaddy42, Soupytwist, Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Vmadera - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, wolfking - 2
XJDenton, Vmadera00, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
In honor of my stupid fucking neighbors
New Scene:
Worlds worst neighbors
-
As good as the 'crash detected' response was, this one gave me the best lol
Boot error: FAT32 not detected. More like FAT256, round boy. Take a step away from the cheeseburger, for chrissake.
Darn it, so close!
-
Outhouse installed. Retractable roof, of course.
-
Both a three seat mauve loveseat with a layer of well established mold on the cushions and a 1973 rusted out Ford truck with no wheels firmly embedded in the front yard.
-
Combination hammock/sex swing between the two maple trees next to the porch.
-
An collector who has taken on the hobby of collecting used toilets to display on his front yard.
-
Combination hammock/sex swing between the two maple trees next to the porch.
We're looking for the worst neighbors Stadler. The world's worst neighbors.
-
Combination hammock/sex swing between the two maple trees next to the porch.
We're looking for the worst neighbors Stadler. The world's worst neighbors.
Joe and I are sharing an apartment next door. Better?
-
Combination hammock/sex swing between the two maple trees next to the porch.
We're looking for the worst neighbors Stadler. The world's worst neighbors.
Joe and I are sharing an apartment next door. Better?
WINNER!!!
-
Every single one of Tim's un-returned shopping carts.
-
They hired Winger to play their BBQ party.
-
They hired Winger to play their BBQ party.
:lol :metal
-
Allow three pit bulls to run freely about the neighborhood.....but don't worry....."They're the sweetest dogs you'll ever meet"
-
Known pedophiles dumping their dog shit over the fence into your yard.
-
"Hey Bill, what's up?"
"Just been out to collect my new telescope! Double the zoom and pixel resolution of my old model!"
"Impressive! You must really like astronomy, huh?"
"Astrono-what?"
"..."
-
They hired Winger to play their BBQ party.
Sounds like a great neighbor to me. :D
-
Decided to let ChatGPT have a go.
(https://i.imgur.com/KOnQrAA.png)
Have to say, the Llama and minigolf ones ain't bad!
-
So far, ChatGPT is winning.
-
So far, ChatGPT is winning.
Sure, here is a fun category for "Scenes from a Hat":
"Bad Ways to Start a Romance Novel"
-
So far, ChatGPT is winning.
Not while I'm judging.
I really liked XJDenton's previous response, but now it seems I can't trust it. Guess I'll need to choose someone else...and I'm truly sad to see this thread go this way.
An collector who has taken on the hobby of collecting used toilets to display on his front yard.
Take it away Vmadera00!
-
Cool, Thanks!
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 70
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 31
lonestar - 25
kingshmegland - 25 (or whoosie whatever)
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Hefdaddy42, Soupytwist, Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, wolfking - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New Scene: Continuing with the neighbors theme.
Excuses to get out of attending your neighbor's BBQ party.
-
I'll be attending a different type of sausage fest.....if you know what I mean :zydar:
-
I really liked XJDenton's previous response, but now it seems I can't trust it. Guess I'll need to choose someone else...and I'm truly sad to see this thread go this way.
You have my word that my original response was unique, but I understand your concern/skepticism regarding the use of chatGPT in any context (part of the reason I post screenshots rather than copying: there's no doubt as to the source).
Sorry, just thought it would be fun to see how well the system did at comedy. Will not use it again.
-
"Hey, Bob. Sorry, I won't be able to come over Saturday. You see, I hate your wife."
-
Sorry Dan.....just can't do it this time. Everyone....I mean everyone.....knows that what you do when you Barbeque is "you gotta Maul it....and pour that sauce on. You Gotta Maul it and sizzle that flavor in". But you....you used some crap ass Sweet Baby Ray's last time and I felt poisoned. So piss off you communist.
-
Excuses to get out of attending your neighbour's BBQ party.
"I bought some exceedingly fresh meat for your BBQ!"
"Oh, fantastic!"
"And a nice Chianti."
"Wait."
"Hey, Bob. Sorry, I won't be able to come over Saturday. You see, I hate your wife."
"Oh I see, you prefer roasts to a BBQ."
-
Sorry....can't come to your BBQ. I have to drop my wife off at something she's calling the BBC meetup? Supposed to wait in the parking lot for a couple hours there to bring her home when it's over. She won't let me go in....it's just her and her friends, they hired a videographer and everything.
-
Can't come to your BBQ, just hold on a minute ChatGPT is just generating my excuse.
-
Sorry....can't come to your BBQ. I have to drop my wife off at something she's calling the BBC meetup? Supposed to wait in the parking lot for a couple hours there to bring her home when it's over. She won't let me go in....it's just her and her friends, they hired a videographer and everything.
The joy of bring British: BBC is ingrained into you to mean British Broadcasting Corporation.
-
Sorry....can't come to your BBQ. I have to drop my wife off at something she's calling the BBC meetup? Supposed to wait in the parking lot for a couple hours there to bring her home when it's over. She won't let me go in....it's just her and her friends, they hired a videographer and everything.
The joy of bring British: BBC is ingrained into you to mean British Broadcasting Corporation.
I'm not a psychic, but I don't think that Gary is referring to the British Broadcasting Corporation. :)
-
I really liked XJDenton's previous response, but now it seems I can't trust it. Guess I'll need to choose someone else...and I'm truly sad to see this thread go this way.
You have my word that my original response was unique, but I understand your concern/skepticism regarding the use of chatGPT in any context (part of the reason I post screenshots rather than copying: there's no doubt as to the source).
Sorry, just thought it would be fun to see how well the system did at comedy. Will not use it again.
No worries, it was pretty cool actually. The minigolf response was both funny and a surprising misdirection. I fear if it had been presented as an original idea, I would have awarded the victory...which caused me to reflect. Which lead me to my response this morning.
I shouldn't post prior to finishing my first mug of coffee. My apologies.
-
Excuses to get out of attending your neighbor's BBQ party.
"I'd really like to Larry, but I just decided to have an unnecessary root-canal that day."
-
"I'd really like to Larry, but I'm helping Vern move the toilet collection to his backyard."
-
Sorry I can't make it. I'm meeting my friend's wife at a BBC meetup.
-
Sorry Ray, but I eat more mayflies than BBQ'd meat.
-
You had Winger playing in the background at last years. Sorry… just can’t handle that again.
It’s Hockey Night in Canada
-
You grill like shit
No plant based options?
Sorry, I have to fast for my colonoscopy.
-
I thought it was weird the last time you named your batch of burgers, but...now my dog is missing..
-
You had Winger playing in the background at last years. Sorry… just can’t handle that again.
It’s Hockey Night in Canada
Or on the other end of the spectrum;
'Nah, I can't come, I have tickets to Winger the same night.'
-
Sorry but our other neighbours invited us to their BBQ and they aren't dicks, so.....
-
Sorry Ray, but I eat more mayflies than BBQ'd meat.
Some good ones but as far as excuses go, this one wins it for me :tup
you're up sir
-
Thank you!
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 70
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 31
kingshmegland - 26 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Hefdaddy42, Soupytwist, Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, wolfking - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
Your girlfriend/wife walk in on you watching porn. And you say...
-
Pull up my face, and have a seat.
-
Again??
-
Look at this Canadian video Chad sent me!
-
Oh good....you're here to study
-
Look at this Canadian video Chad sent me!
As I recall, it was you that sent it to me!! :lol :lol
-
Look at this Canadian video Chad sent me!
As I recall, it was you that sent it to me!! :lol :lol
Oh yeah
-
How can I love you if I don't love myself first.
-
Oh good! You’re just in time for this week’s episode of Mandingo’s Massacre.
-
I'm just looking at some of our old home videos honey.
-
It’s good for you to see where the bar has been set.
-
I will pick a winner later tonight. I have a group of management here at work today.
-
"I'm watching it for the articles."
-
I clicked an ad, and now I've 37 open tabs and counting. They ... won't .... stop ....
Don't judge me!!!
-
I clicked an ad, and now I've 37 open tabs and counting. They ... won't .... stop ....
Don't judge me!!!
Wife: Aren't ads tailored to your past browser behaviour darling?
Husband:
(https://i.gifer.com/Fpw5.gif)
-
I will pick a winner later tonight. I have a group of management here at work today.
That must be one hell of a management group...
-
This is the tantric round.
-
Do you think you could do that?
-
Sure. Who hasn't had a yoga session gone wild?
-
Look at this Canadian video Chad sent me!
This had me laughing so hard. Winner!
-
Look at this Canadian video Chad sent me!
This had me laughing so hard. Winner!
:lol
OK, then.
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 70
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 31
kingshmegland - 26 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, hefdaddy42 - 8
Soupytwist, Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, wolfking - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken , chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next great sports craze to sweep the nation and be featured on ESPN 8 (The Ocho!)
-
Musical Chairs
Next level Musical Chairs: Chinese Fire Drills
Whac-A-Mole
Shoe-tying
-
Squint game
-
Kegal marathon
Marriage arguments
-
Nagging Wars - NNA: National Nagging Association
-
The Canceling Olympics!
The Pokemon Man!
Six Degrees Of Donald Trump
-
Impractical Gymnasts
Wabbit hunting
-
National Ejaculate Distance League
-
Masturbate with puppets
-
So You Think You Can Hunt? (hosted by Ted Nugent)
-
I've got a feeling this won't take days and days lol
-
Shopping Cart Curling. The Corral is 10 bonus points.
-
Shopping Cart Curling. The Corral is 10 bonus points.
TAC will be glued to the screen for this!!
Pylon parking spot Tic Tac Toe.
:chino2:
-
Build a better mouse trap
-
Battlebots: Lego Technic
-
The Vape Games!
-
Toddler Wrangling
-
Blue Darts
Mini Golf with the Network Stars
-
"Not correcting somebody in the comments of your racist aunt's Facebook Timeline endurance challenge."
-
Cheese rolling (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K40o7eiFEOQ)
-
Escape the Guillotine
-
You're all in trouble now. This is my realm.
Couch Potato Bobsled.
Speed Cable Surfing.
-
Power Receptacle Roulette
-
Tampon Tasting - Guess the Nationality
-
Mining for nuggets
Seth MacFarlane’s Personality Impressions of the Monarchy
Baseball card collections of famous chickens
-
Cheese rolling (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K40o7eiFEOQ)
Whenever I need a stupid laugh, Youtubing cheese rolling videos does the trick. I couldn't believe what the fuck I was seeing when I first stumbled across it.
-
That better be a $100k wheel of cheese, ffs.
-
I've never even heard of cheese rolling.
-
That better be a $100k wheel of cheese, ffs.
No. It's just a standard fucking block of cheese......that's it!
-
That better be a $100k wheel of cheese, ffs.
No. It's just a standard fucking block of cheese......that's it!
Totally worth a broken femur, or ongoing concussion symptoms!
-
I've done that Chad, without chasing the wheel of cheese. lol
-
Impractical Gymnasts
I'm not even sure what this be, but I love the phrase. Winner!
-
It was a take on Impractical Jokers.
New scene tomorrow morning.
-
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 71
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 31
kingshmegland - 26 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, hefdaddy42 - 8
Soupytwist, Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, wolfking - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
With the upcoming long weekend...
Unexpected attendees/crashers to your Memorial Day BBQ.
-
The clowns from DTF! :) :) :) :). (I kid, I kid; you'd all be very welcome. Except Adami, who wouldn't show because he'd assume I gave him the wrong directions.)
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and her staff.
Radiohead.
The engineering and production team from "Grace Under Pressure".
-
Jimmy Hoffa.
-
David Zaslav
-
Darth MAUL
-
My mother in law.
-
Zaphod Beeblebrox & Ford Prefect
-
Rumborak
-
Rumborak
Hey! I just talked to him.
-
Rumborak and Kingly Gizz then.
-
Life of the fucking party bruh. Lol
-
Rumborak and Kingly Gizz then.
Curious, is "Gizz" supposed to be a hard or soft "G"? Like .gif?? A soft G changes the whole complexion, and I'm not sure if that member name complies with forum rules.
-
Rumborak and Kingly Gizz then.
Curious, is "Gizz" supposed to be a hard or soft "G"? Like .gif?? A soft G changes the whole complexion, and I'm not sure if that member name complies with forum rules.
So which is it? A hard "G"? Guh-if? Or a soft "G"? J-if?
-
Has to be the peanut butter one.
-
King hard G or soft G’s mother in law
Anyone from PETA
Those expecting tofu
Anyone that doesn’t like hearing Queen playing in the background, because they know it’s gonna happen.
-
Ain't Nothin' But a G Thang.
I'd choose a hard Maple for my mother in law. One swing is all I need.
-
The Spanish Inquisition
-
Issa.
-
Lonestar with all his chef gadgets.
-
Tim in his 1983 Stationwagon. Complete with the added FM Receiver and fuzzy dice.
-
Some very nice random possibilities. But ....
Issa.
Winner. I'm seeing the Kade opening the door, and giving her a kick in the cunt before slamming it on her.
-
Has to be the peanut butter one.
Nah. GIF should be pronounced Gif, not Jif. The G stands for Graphic, which is not, as I understand it, pronounced Jraphic.
But pronounce it however you want, because at the end of the day, there are lot more important topics to be right about lol.
-
Some very nice random possibilities. But ....
Issa.
Winner. I'm seeing the Kade opening the door, and giving her a kick in the cunt before slamming it on her.
Sadly, I can picture that too! :) :) :)
-
Has to be the peanut butter one.
Nah. GIF should be pronounced Gif, not Jif. The G stands for Graphic, which is not, as I understand it, pronounced Jraphic.
But pronounce it however you want, because at the end of the day, there are lot more important topics to be right about lol.
I think as of right now, I'm going to pronounce it "jraphic" just to be different. :) :) :)
-
Has to be the peanut butter one.
Nah. GIF should be pronounced Gif, not Jif. The G stands for Graphic, which is not, as I understand it, pronounced Jraphic.
But pronounce it however you want, because at the end of the day, there are lot more important topics to be right about lol.
I think as of right now, I'm going to pronounce it "jraphic" just to be different. :) :) :)
Didn't they make a movie about an island with dinosaurs called Jraphic Park?
-
Has to be the peanut butter one.
Nah. GIF should be pronounced Gif, not Jif. The G stands for Graphic, which is not, as I understand it, pronounced Jraphic.
But pronounce it however you want, because at the end of the day, there are lot more important topics to be right about lol.
I think as of right now, I'm going to pronounce it "jraphic" just to be different. :) :) :)
Didn't they make a movie about an island with dinosaurs called Jraphic Park?
Go home, dad. :)
-
I have charged my kids with saying 5 minutes of Dad jokes at my funeral.
-
I had no idea dad jokes could provide electrical power, let alone to children.
-
Oh they get a charge alright. :lol
-
I rarely tell dad jokes. But he usually laughs when I do.
-
So we laid my parents to rest on Tuesday; my brother and I, and our kids, were standing with my cousin waiting for the priest to come and my cousin (who lives in town) made a comment about how where our family plot is used to be empty and now there is limited space. And I dropped an oldie but goodie: "this is a popular cemetery; people are just dying to get in here."
As this was something my dad said all the time, I felt a bit of serendipity. :)
-
So we laid my parents to rest on Tuesday; my brother and I, and our kids, were standing with my cousin waiting for the priest to come and my cousin (who lives in town) made a comment about how where our family plot is used to be empty and now there is limited space. And I dropped an oldie but goodie: "this is a popular cemetery; people are just dying to get in here."
As this was something my dad said all the time, I felt a bit of serendipity. :)
Amen, brother. Amen.
-
So we laid my parents to rest on Tuesday; my brother and I, and our kids, were standing with my cousin waiting for the priest to come and my cousin (who lives in town) made a comment about how where our family plot is used to be empty and now there is limited space. And I dropped an oldie but goodie: "this is a popular cemetery; people are just dying to get in here."
As this was something my dad said all the time, I felt a bit of serendipity. :)
Stads, I hope all is well. I still get my dad to smile even though he can't talk. While it hurts that I can't talk to him, I still am glad he still can smile a little in his twilight. I know he influenced my sense of humor.
-
Some very nice random possibilities. But ....
Issa.
Winner. I'm seeing the Kade opening the door, and giving her a kick in the cunt before slamming it on her.
:metal
Will post a new scene soon.
-
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 71
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 31
kingshmegland - 26 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, hefdaddy42 - 8
Soupytwist, Snow Dog, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, wolfking - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene;
Your boss who you hate is away for the week. You decide to have some fun and put his photo on your dart board in your office. He comes back unexpectedly early on Friday and walks in on you with your feet on the desk throwing some darts. What do you say?
-
I can't decide if I'm going for a bullseye or a jackass.
-
You should see the toilet next door.
-
So we laid my parents to rest on Tuesday; my brother and I, and our kids, were standing with my cousin waiting for the priest to come and my cousin (who lives in town) made a comment about how where our family plot is used to be empty and now there is limited space. And I dropped an oldie but goodie: "this is a popular cemetery; people are just dying to get in here."
As this was something my dad said all the time, I felt a bit of serendipity. :)
Amen, brother. Amen.
Precisely. Hugs to the Stadler's
-
I'll see myself out.
-
Fancy a game?
-
Pretty easy to bullseye with a honker like that one.
-
ONE HUNDRED AND EEEEIIIIGHTY!!!!
-
"I had to be here in person, can't throw darts over Zoom."
-
Well, since you’re here, guess I may as well tell you what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey shit you are!
-
Well, since you’re here, guess I may as well tell you what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey shit you are!
Dog-kissing?! What’s wrong with dog-kissing? That’s a complement.
-
We never see raises early.
-
Well, since you’re here, guess I may as well tell you what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey shit you are!
Where's the egg-nog?
-
Gonna be hard to pick, some real nice ones here. I'll pick tomorrow.
-
Well, since you’re here, guess I may as well tell you what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey shit you are!
Quality reference! Did you say that entire thing with Beverly D'Angelo's hand on your unit? :) :) :)
-
Well, since you’re here, guess I may as well tell you what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey shit you are!
You've tugged on my nostalgia strings with this one with my love for this movie. WINNER!!!
-
What fucking movie are we talking about?
-
What fucking movie are we talking about?
LOL, don't worry.
-
It's your mate Chevy Chase from Christmas Vacation.
I can't decide if I'm going for a bullseye or a jackass.
This was the runner up, easily. You just got pipped, it was close.
-
Thanks!
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 71
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 31
kingshmegland - 26 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, hefdaddy42, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, wolfking - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
Bad alternate careers for celebrities
-
Donald Trump - Provider of ChatGPT training data.
-
Taylor Swift; taking over DTF top 50 lists for Kevshmev
-
Cart collector - TAC
Editor - Kingshmegland
LGBTQ+ advocate - Ron DeSantis
Kareem Abdul-Jabaar - Airline co-pilot
Sam Kinison - Kindergarten teacher
Jimmy Butler - Butler
-
Mike Tyson - Financial Advisor
-
Kareem Abdul-Jabaar - Airline co-pilot
OMG Winner! "Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes!"
-
Bill Cosby - Bartender
-
Kim Kardashian - nun
-
Stevie Wonder - Photographer
-
Bill Cosby - Bartender
:tup
-
Mother Teresa - Pornstar.
Richard Gere - Vet.
-
Jason Tatum- Heart Specialist
-
Pete Rose - Ethics Ombudsmen
OJ Simpson - Knife Sharpener
-
OJ Simpson - Knife Sharpener
Glove Model
-
Issa - Hooker
Rick Allen - Sign language interpreter
My boss - A boss (oh wait)
Ozzy Osboune - Drug rehab councillor or AA meeting host
-
Thom Yorke - Singer. :D ;) :P
-
Some really good ones here, but this made me laugh the hardest:
Rick Allen - Sign language interpreter
Boomerang win! You’re up again, Wolf!
-
:metal
-
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 71
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 31
kingshmegland - 26 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, hefdaddy42, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, wolfking - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene;
You go to your parents house and walk in on your mother banging your best friend while your Dad is work, and you say?
-
I guess I know the answer to if Mark can spend the night
-
"Motherf-"
-
"You're such a nympho, Mom, I was just here this morning. Now get off him, we're late for darts down at the pub. Let's go Kade..."
-
Can I call you Dad now?
-
Get your ass a little higher, John. She likes it hard.
-
(https://media.tenor.com/nUWoATyPM44AAAAC/the-simpsons-enter.gif)
-
My Dad is currently deceased, so this situation is already an upgrade from real life.
Too dark?
-
My Dad is currently deceased, so this situation is already an upgrade from real life.
Too dark?
Probably, but kind of funny, nonetheless. :)
-
Well I'll be a.......I really am a son of a bitch.......
-
(https://media.tenor.com/tBAYMifDl4sAAAAC/puke-throwup.gif)
-
So THATS how she got that flute through customs last summer......
-
My Dad is currently deceased, so this situation is already an upgrade from real life.
Too dark?
Probably, but kind of funny, nonetheless. :)
:biggrin:
-
"You're such a nympho, Mom, I was just here this morning. Now get off him, we're late for darts down at the pub. Let's go Kade..."
How could this not be the winner!! Brilliant! :lol :hefdaddy
I never post pics of myself but this deserves a thumbs up from me Gregg!
(https://i.ibb.co/18H9MYC/me-3.jpg)
-
Know. Thy. Audience.
If any of the rest of you are confused as to why my entry won, all I can say is spend a month in Australia. You'll get it. :lol
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 71
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 32
kingshmegland - 26 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, hefdaddy42, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, wolfking - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
Things you can say about your favorite restaurant, that you can't say about your partner.
-
Good thing everything tastes great, because there's zero charm.
It's got over a thousand 5* reviews on Yelp.
-
“Has Tiger Woods eaten here?”
“I can’t believe you’re so cheap!”
-
Everytime I eat it's a little salty, but I don't mind.
-
Eating out here is a pleasure! No need to worry about any hair in your clams.
-
They never complain about my tip being small
-
"You'd be amazed at what they can do with otherwise boring vegetables."
-
i love it despite the pie tastes like it’s a week old.
-
Really love and am beyond impressed in the ability to handle large groups. Didn’t matter which entrance they came in either, was able to accept with ease and please all.
-
Know. Thy. Audience.
(https://media1.tenor.com/images/a7031e8ce4a66c2aaafd87aca298290a/tenor.gif?itemid=7851132)
-
'Jeez, it's lovely and quiet in here.'
-
The restaurant doesn't bitch, when I'm finished.
-
Check please.
-
It’s amazing how much meat they pack into that burrito, and they’re still so damned tight.
-
At least they honor my yeast allergy.
-
No reservation needed here!
-
They're open all night.
-
- Do you have a low fat version?
- I'm not eating that till you remove the hairs.
- What a delicious rump.
- This clam is great, but I could do without the crabs on the side.
-
"You're such a nympho, Mom, I was just here this morning. Now get off him, we're late for darts down at the pub. Let's go Kade..."
How could this not be the winner!! Brilliant! :lol :hefdaddy
I never post pics of myself but this deserves a thumbs up from me Gregg!
(https://i.ibb.co/18H9MYC/me-3.jpg)
And here I've been thinking all these years that your avatar was Kip Winger!!! :) :) :) :) :) :)
-
Australian for Kip.
-
Some great, naughty, entries my friends. Right out of the gate, jingle got me though.
It's got over a thousand 5* reviews on Yelp.
The Great White North takes the victory. You're up Chad!
-
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 72
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 32
kingshmegland - 26 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, hefdaddy42, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, wolfking - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
if company slogans were honest
-
"You're such a nympho, Mom, I was just here this morning. Now get off him, we're late for darts down at the pub. Let's go Kade..."
How could this not be the winner!! Brilliant! :lol :hefdaddy
I never post pics of myself but this deserves a thumbs up from me Gregg!
And here I've been thinking all these years that your avatar was Kip Winger!!! :) :) :) :) :) :)
:lol :metal
-
McDonalds : Probably contains spit.
Pesci : For when you can't find a coke.
BMW or Audi : Driven by Tossers.
Adobe Acrobat : Updating....
-
I'm needing it.
Our Whopper is bigger than yours.
What's the beef?
Diarrea, gracias taco bell.
-
AT&T: Your only option.
-
Little Caesar's: Hey, technically, it's pizza.
-
Toyota - It's Going to Break in Some Places.
-
Little Caesar's: Hey, technically, it's pizza.
It's almost pizza! (https://youtu.be/KLHRjaUBb3o)
-
The King of Beers?
-
Pfizer - Y’all some gullible mother fuc%ers
-
Geico - Did we say 15 minutes? we meant 50 minutes.
-
Reach Out & Goose someone.
It takes a licking and goes limp.
Our most important package is your, package.
-
The King of Beers?
:lol
:clap:
-
Target: an apt name for the right
-
It takes a licking and goes limp.
It sure does. King Gizz (with a soft "g") definitely takes this round.
-
Thank you!
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 72
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 32
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, hefdaddy42, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, wolfking - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene: You want to see TAC cringe at a concert he would never go to.
Make up a band name of a band, you'd love TAC to see live.
-
Rush!
Power Windows tour
-
Rush!
Power Windows tour
Disqualified.
-
Menudo - The Reunion
-
Thongs And Cobras
-
Target: an apt name for the right looters
:)
The 21st Century Pop Culture References Quartet
-
Kips in Carts.
-
Some Modern Things.
-
Disco Leopard - The dance with your socks on tour
-
Power Winger
-
Spock's Wang.
-
Sucks … headlining for Blows
-
Kips in Carts.
Winna!!
-
Kips in Carts.
Winna!!
Yeah, that was a pretty clear winner lol
-
Booyah!!
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 72
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 32
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -18
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, hefdaddy42, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, wolfking- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene;
Things you should never do or say on a first date.
-
I have a three inch dick.
Oh wait, we talking about captions…
-
Hold on, my mom is calling…
-
Hold on, I have to break up with my (BF/GF) before we go.
-
You can choose any restaurant, so long as it's at least 1000 yards away from a public school.
Does this smell like chloroform to you?
Do you know how many strikeouts Dwight Gooden had in his 1984 rookie season?
-
You remind me of my mom
-
My wife and I love this restaurant.
-
My wife and I love this restaurant.
It's got over a thousand 5* reviews on Yelp!
-
I'm a Dream Theater fan. How about you?
-
Welcome to McDonalds!
-
Do you know how many strikeouts Dwight Gooden had in his 1984 rookie season?
Nice call back you SOB. I’ve been patiently waiting for you specifically to bring up a scene where I could drop that gem.
-
I swear that was an alka seltzer
-
KY hot or cold?
-
Do you know how many strikeouts Dwight Gooden had in his 1984 rookie season?
Nice call back you SOB. I’ve been patiently waiting for you specifically to bring up a scene where I could drop that gem.
(https://www.macrobusiness.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Nelsonfinal.gif)
Waiter: And for you sir?
Me: Ribs... for MY pleasure :eyebrows:
-
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?
-
I may need your help wiping…..will let you know.
-
You ever heard of Dreamsonic?
-
Hey, asking for a friend, but Prog Rock is LIGHT music, right?
How's your gag reflex?
-
How's your gag reflex?
If I hear a bad joke I'm liable to slap ya.
-
Your hair smells different when you’re awake
-
Some amazing responses here, going to be tough to pick a winner. I'll try and pick a winner tonight. Apologies not online as much as I should be.
-
You know my ex girlfriend can eat a whole 15” Kielbasa without chewing or taking a bite.
We have to talk about the hedges in front of your bedroom window…….quite the obstruction of view.
-
You know my ex girlfriend can eat a whole 15” Kielbasa without chewing or taking a bite.
Did I mention that my name is Smithfield and I live on Hillshire Farms?
-
I'm a Dream Theater fan. How about you?
Simple, but so effective, and we all can relate I think lol. Winner!
You can choose any restaurant, so long as it's at least 1000 yards away from a public school.
This was a very close second.
Hey, asking for a friend, but Prog Rock is LIGHT music, right?
(https://media1.tenor.com/images/56f7c2e76f020261301f827c9b7fd70b/tenor.gif?itemid=3566851)
-
Deleted my dumbass post thinking I was the winner. :facepalm:
-
Wait, Stadler won. You were second!?
-
Wait, Stadler won. You were second!?
I'm a Dream Theater fan. How about you?
Simple, but so effective, and we all can relate I think lol. Winner!
You can choose any restaurant, so long as it's at least 1000 yards away from a public school.
This was a very close second.
Hey, asking for a friend, but Prog Rock is LIGHT music, right?
(https://media1.tenor.com/images/56f7c2e76f020261301f827c9b7fd70b/tenor.gif?itemid=3566851)
-
Chad trying to hijack the thread. :lol
-
Chad trying to hijack the thread. :lol
I said he was runner up. Where I come from, that's first loser.
-
Chad trying to hijack the thread. :lol
I said he was runner up. Where I come from, that's first loser.
You shouldn't have to write your posts in Canadian AND English.
That's what he gets for trying to bust my chops!
-
Canadian exchange rate helping Chad.
-
:lol
-
TACs secret hobbies.
Onion inspector.
-
Goddamn … I missed one simple word … and assumed you were building up to the winner! My bad. I’ll remove my post and let Bill take over from here.
:lolpalm:
-
Deleted my dumbass post thinking I was the winner. :facepalm:
Haha. Well, you are winning this whole thing by some margin!
-
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 72
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 32
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -19
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, hefdaddy42, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, wolfking- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene;
Unfortunate family picnic/reunion activities ...
-
Resuscitate Grandma
Pin the tail on Uncle Ned
Spot the burger that Dad spit on
-
Name That Funeral Hymn!
-
Combat lawn darts
Political Volleyball - Fascists vs. Libz
-
Jarts to the death.
-
Pick the Pedophile Uncle
Spin the Bottle - Cousin Edition
-
Every side dish contains Spam.
-
No Holds Barred Inheritance Battle
Sibling Wife Swap
-
Spin the Bottle
Which sleeping and elderly relative is actually dead?
-
Spin the Bottle
You didn't like mine :lol
Spin the Bottle - Cousin Edition
-
Organ Donor Match Game - Who's Compatible
-
Bedpan cornhole
-
Spin the Bottle
You didn't like mine :lol
I thought I checked the other replies :lol
-
Who's the best kisser?
Sandwich Roulette - cockroach edition
-
Guess the smell on your cousins finger
LARP: Storm the Capital
Grab my footlong
-
Battle of the Meth Recipe's
Denture Swap
Food Stamp Poker
-
Is You Is Or Is You Aints Old Enough To Drink That
-
Divorce Court Picnics.
-
Pin the tail on who's going to jail next!
-
Gather round, it's time to look down on your Mom's side of the family
-
Gather round, it's time to look down your Aunt Terri's blouse.
Hey kids, come gather around the fryer, and let's see what the water content of this 38lb hog is.
-
Fruitcake bake-off
Blindfolded Name that Laxative
-
Best Mullet and Moonshine - combined score wins the grand prize…..$500 towards your next set bail.
-
Sheep Riding!
-
Waiting for uncle Stads to stop pontificating about the state of the world long enough to judge the brown nosing contest.
-
Waiting for uncle Stads to stop pontificating about the state of the world long enough to judge the brown nosing contest.
:rollin :rollin
-
Waiting for uncle Stads to stop pontificating about the state of the world long enough to judge the brown nosing contest.
I always struggle with how long to let it go... I'll finish my coffee and deem a winner. Got to say, I laughed out loud at several; this isn't going to be easy.
EDIT: Ok, strong round. Gary had about four that could have one (Spin The Bottle - Cousin Edition got a laugh out loud), Chad had a strong one, but this is the winner:
Bedpan cornhole
-
Ok, strong round. Gary had about four that could have one (Spin The Bottle - Cousin Edition got a laugh out loud), Chad had a strong one, but this is the winner:
Bedpan cornhole
:lol
OK, cool.
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 72
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 32
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -19
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes, hefdaddy42 - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, wolfking- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next up: Rejected Star Trek episode titles
-
"Riker? I Hardly Know Her".
-
"Dad, I'm Borg"
"Hi Borg, I'm dad!"
-
The Force Awakens
-
Charlie XXX (there's an episode "Charlie X")
Sidebar: Not for nothing, but I went to a list of Star Trek episodes, thinking I could make a pun or two - see above - but my God. Some of those don't need our help: "Space Seed", "A Taste Of Armageddon", "The Naked Time", "What Are Little Girls Made Of?". Hahaha.
-
"Riker? I Hardly Know Her".
:rollin :rollin :rollin
I'm dead. See you next round. I'm going to be giggling about this for days.
-
Worf, Son of a Bitch.
Q Meets Worlds.
The Combs Effect.
Quarkumania.
-
The Trouble With Threesomes.
-
Holosuit sweet lovin'
-
Shatner Face
-
Uhura Does Dallas
-
Stealing a theme, but...
- Crusher? I can barely lift her.
- Deforest Station.
-
Shut up Wesley.
Make it so-fucking-what?
-
Shatner Face
:rollin
-
Spock's Beard II: Uhura's Bush
-
Data corrupted.
-
You guys are really cooking on this one. Keep 'em coming!
-
The long lost Friends crossover episode, "The trouble with the Tribbianis".
-
Klingons Vs Teflons.
-
Key Party at 10 Forward
Bones Bones a Sub Commander
-
Gowron Vandelay.
-
Spock's Beard II: Uhura's Bush
:tup
-
The Trouble With Threesomes.
my favorite so far :tup
‘Star Trek II: The Rash Of Khan’
-
Borg a Trois: Seven, Eight, Nine.
-
The Search for Spork: A Culinary Adventure
Warp Speed Dating.
-
Pink Skin & The Brain.
-
Dammit Jim, And Fuck You Too Spock.
-
The Dilithium Dilemma - Warp Bubble Stabilizer and Dangerously Addictive Designer Drug
-
The Fifth Light
-
Captain's Log
-
Sauced in the Saucer Section
-
Worf and Mindy
Star Date 362436
-
Data dumps
-
The Hotty and the Scotty.
Wesley A Pain in the Asteroid.
-
Shut up Wesley.
-
Who is Wesley? That's a question, not a caption.
-
Son of Dr. Crusher. Becomes a cadet but finds out he is a traveler who can travel between planes of existence.
-
That leads me to my next question..
Who is Dr. Crusher? Sounds like a new soda.
-
I'm not doing 6 degrees of Captain Picard.
-
I'm not doing 6 degrees of Captain Picard.
Who's Capt.......nah just kidding! ;D
-
Borg a Trois: Seven, Eight, Nine.
This one made me laugh out loud in my morning meeting. That was fun. Could have sworn I had muted myself, but in fact, no.
Winner!
-
Borg a Trois: Seven, Eight, Nine.
This one made me laugh out loud in my morning meeting. That was fun. Could have sworn I had muted myself, but in fact, no.
Winner!
Yay!
I debated putting “Seven, Eight, T’Pol”.
Great round there boys! I had a lot of truly lol reactions. I’m still giggling over Zydar’s opener.
I’m on my iPad now, so I’ll get a new scene up in the morning.
-
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 32
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -19
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes, hefdaddy42 - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, wolfking- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Jamesman, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
The headline of TAC's Tinder profile
-
What the fuck is this place?
You're safe with me, I'll forget our meeting within 5 minutes.
Look! Horses!
(https://i.postimg.cc/jSZJbMP5/20230606221724.jpg)
-
What's a Tinder?
-
Ready for lots of recipes!
-
"I will fill you your heart with love as much as a corral won't fill with shopping carts."
-
(https://i.imgur.com/Wo9xApB.jpg)
"Begin the day with a friendly voice..."
-
Tinder? Hell, it killed her!
-
Swipe Left to See the Hang to the Left
Equal Opportunity Cavity Searches
-
If you’re not in to eating warm soggy fruity pebbles while lathered up in tapioca pudding while sitting in the middle of a twister board watching reruns of This Old House…..then…..don’t bother.
-
I own three primates……Spider and Howler Monkeys and a midget Low land Gorilla……all trained to assist in Tantric massage therapy with the added bonus of strategic feces introduction. Will change your life
-
I pinky promise not to murder you.
-
Also please check out my profile on Grindr
-
Wipe Left
-
Wipe Left
:tup
-
I'm into long walks, beaches, average 70's rock & a cart paid professional to return carts to a corral.
-
Middle aged man in search of iron maiden
-
Middle aged man in search of iron maiden
:rollin
-
What are these buttons for
-
My likes are "Sucks" & "Blows."
-
Missionary or GTFO
-
Some of these are gold lol. I'm not even going to bother trying.
-
:lol :lol :lol
-
Lots of beauties there. Zydar was in pole position, until James dropped this beauty:
Wipe Left
WINNA!!!!
P.S. Honorable mention to Snow Dog.
-
Some of these are gold lol. I'm not even going to bother trying.
Same. Good round.
-
Woooooo
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 32
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -19
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes, hefdaddy42 - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, wolfking- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Jamesman - 2
XJDenton, Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
Bad celebrity endorsements
-
O.J. Simpson for The Ginsu!
-
Jim Fixx for The Benefits Of Running.
-
Joe Biden's Business Strategies
-
Kingshmegland for The National Spelling Bee.
-
John Petrucci: Gilette
Alec Baldwin: Smith and Wesson
Hulk Hogan: Rogaine
Matt Roloff: Big & Tall Menswear
TAC: Tindr
-
Nick Canon: Trojan
-
TAC for TicTok.
-
Matt Roloff: Big & Tall Menswear
Holy shit. :lol
-
Hershal Walker for Planned Parenthood
Betsy DeVos for public education
-
Nina Hartley for Lay's.
Betcha can't have just one!
-
Metallica - Len Wright Travel
-
Stephen King: Sleep Therapy
Connor McGregor: Lessons in Humbleness
-
Bon Jovi: Singing lessons
Miss Piggy and Foghorn Leghorn: Maple Lodge Farms
John Lennon: ChatGPT
-
Donald Trump: Trump University
-
Floyd Mayweather - Hooked on Phonics
Michael Strahan - Your local orthodontist
Michael Vick - PETA
Kanye West - MENSA
-
Larry David - Etiquette and Manners
Dwayne Johnson - Diverse Acting Techniques
-
Donald Trump: Trump University
Donald Trump for Folder Lock.
-
Elite for a Timeclock.
-
Elon Musk for Twitter :neverusethis:
-
Great job everyone, was hard to pick but this one made me go "oh damn".
Metallica - Len Wright Travel
Winrar!
-
Oh damn, my first one!
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 32
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -19
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes, hefdaddy42 - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, wolfking- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Jamesman - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
The good news, and the bad news.
-
The good news is that I went to my first Rush concert. The bad news is that it was the Power Windows tour.
-
The good news, I dug a large hole in my yard to plant a tree only to find a treasure chest in my yard. But when I opened it, I found Tim.
-
He good news is I got a hummer this morning. The bad news is she’s a cannibal.
The good news is XJ got his first Scenes win. The bad news is he gave himself two.
-
The good news is XJ got his first Scenes win. The bad news is he gave himself two.
First solo win. ;)
-
The good news is I found a forgotten Christmas present from last year. The bad news is that it was a puppy.
-
The good news is you won scenes from a hat. The bad news is you have to come up with a new scene to entice participants.
-
The good news is I no longer have to take that massive dump that was building up and wrecking my insides…….the bad news is I was still sitting in the car racing home when it uncontrollably burst out.
-
The good news is XJ won the last round, the bad news is the thread is dying.
-
The good news is my wife is really good at oral……..the bad news is all my friends agree.
-
The good news is I can now see with my eyes closed. The bad news I had to use a paper hole punch on my eyelids to make it happen.
-
The good news is I didn't waste $250k on a submarine ride. The bad news is 5 people did.
<too soon?>
-
The good news is I didn't waste $250k on a submarine ride. The bad news is 5 people did.
<too soon?>
Yikes :omg: At least let them confirm they’ve been crushed by pressure or died of suffocation first. Man……one harsh Canadian
-
The bad news is we're almost out of gas.
The good news is we're ALMOST out of gas.
-
Good news is I read this thread.
Bad news is I have nothing.
-
The good news is I’m fired. The bad news is I got just one week to to regain my job starting with tonight’s sit.
-
The good news is I can now see with my eyes closed. The bad news I had to use a paper hole punch on my eyelids to make it happen.
Don't know why, but the pure absurdity of this one tickled me.
Podaar is next!
-
Thanks XJD, absurdity is my middle... eye?
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 33
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -19
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam - 10
masterthes, hefdaddy42 - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, wolfking- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Jamesman - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene: Things you can say at a football game, but not at family dinner.
-
I scored tonight!
-
Hit the hole!
-
Look how that tight-end blew up the A gap!
-
Wide open and he's not going for it.
-
He's got great hands.
-
That was 90 minutes of my life that I won't get back.
-
Did that result leave a terrible taste in your mouth too?
Do we really need extra time?
-
These balls have been tossed around quite a bit tonight.
-
That's not holding. THIS is holding, motherfucker!
-
I love a good tight end
-
Even though it's only three inches....it's a LONG three inches needed to get to the promise land....
-
That's why he got caught right there, gave him a couple of good tugs and that's all he needed to do.
-
That's an illegal formation!
-
That was nasty!
-
That was quite the hit!
-
Fuck the zebras!
-
Well done!
-
Matriculate
-
My undershorts will not be the same color as my shorts after this meal.
-
YOU SUCK!!
-
Well, I enjoyed everyone's responses, but like XJD, I'm tickled by the absurd. I laughed way to much at this one.
Matriculate
Once again, Hef's apt brevity takes the win.
-
I've never even heard that word, much less related to a football game.
-
That's because you don't attend college football games.
-
That's because you don't attend college football games.
I don't even watch college football games. :lol
-
I used to with BC in the 80's and 90's but not in 2 decades for me.
-
I used to with BC
I knew you were a caveman.
-
No disputing that.
-
Well, I enjoyed everyone's responses, but like XJD, I'm tickled by the absurd. I laughed way to much at this one.
Matriculate
Once again, Hef's apt brevity takes the win.
:lol
I must give thanks to the dearly departed Hank Stram.
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 33
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -19
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, wolfking- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Jamesman - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene: Shakespeare's rejected titles for Romeo & Juliet
-
A Pimp And His Ho.
-
Teenagers, amirite?
-
Barely legal teens swallow.
-
A lil' ditty, 'bout Jack and Diane
-
I can already see this could be a good round. :lol
-
How not to be a helicopter parent
Pranks gone wrong
Til death doth us part. Wait, wuth?
-
Emo and Emo-er
-
J-rom & Ju-ju-be.
-
Unfortunate Consequences of Having a Frigid Cousin
How to Fuck Up a Perfectly Good Feud
Friars are Assholes
Check Out the Cans on That Capulet Chick
-
1 Romeo Night in Paris.
-
♪If my baby don't love me no more, I know her cousin will♫
-
14 will get you 20
-
Too Young, or Not Too Young.
-
Bitches be trippin'
-
I Should’ve Fucked Hamlet.
-
We surveyed 100 Italians, top 5 answers are on the board.... "Tell me the best way to fake your death"
Monta-whodunnit?
Dolla-pothacary
-
Street Fighter VII: Montague vs. Capulet
R&J: Electric Booggaloo III.
-
Italians are so horny!
-
Italians are so horny!
Mingya, I know. *Waves hand*
-
Virile Youths Simply Desireth to Fornicate
-
Jomeo and Ruliet - The tragic 12 hour engagement.
-
Se c'è erba sul campo, gioca a palla.
-
He/Him/His and She/Her/Her's
-
He/Him/His and She/Her/Her's
Can't assume that. Their pronounced are dead and gone.
-
You got chocolate in my peanut butter!
-
These pretzels are making me thirsty!
-
The Cinema Show
-
I Should’ve Fucked Hamlet.
This one did it for me.
Winner!
-
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 33
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler -19
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 14
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, wolfking- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Jamesman - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next theme: Hockey style penalties you could call in the bedroom.
-
Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Illegal back door entry
-
Icing - Denied Sexual Advances
-
Offsides - Entering the wrong hole.
-
*googles hockey penalties*
So I heard butt-ending is a thing...
-
Too many men in the bed
-
Fisting
-
Delay of Game - Loss of erection
-
Penalty Stroke
-
Forearm Shiver
Fisting
Wristwatch Crisco
-
2 minutes for slew dink.
-
Foot in the crease (oops, scratch that, it’s permitted now😉)
Delay of game for throwing octopi on the field of play
-
5 minutes for coiffed spearing.
-
Checking from behind
It’s only two minutes in the box
-
2 minutes for groping.
-
Illegal stick: too much curve.
-
Illegal stick: too much curve.
:clap:
-
No matter the penalty, every goal is scored in under 30 seconds.
-
Ejection for for not having the garter belts snapped in correctly.
-
Illegal stick: too much curve.
You win Stads!
My own entry would've been:
Too Many Teeth. ;D
-
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 33
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 20
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 14
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, wolfking- 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Jamesman - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Unfortunate Guilty Pleasures.....
-
Rubbing hot sauce on your eyes
-
Reasoning with Lawyers
-
Reasoning with Lawyers
:lol
-
Reasoning with Lawyers
Oh snap!
Grandma's back and ass scratch.
-
Ear hair tweezing
Anus bleaching
Ball waxing
-
Masturbating with pizza dough
-
Cuddle puddle sniffing
-
KISS
-
Believing in common sense.
-
Leaving carts in the middle of the parking lot.
-
Issa.
-
Driving 35 in the left lane...all day long.
-
Issa.
(https://gifdb.com/images/high/i-knew-it-498-x-266-gif-tz2linnap4b12kx7.gif)
-
Gonna give it till noon my time (I never know when to end these things!!!) to see what comes up, but I'm eyeing a winner...
-
Cat urine showers
Testicle Kneading
Eyelid Acupuncture
-
Eating pizza at TAC's house
-
Eating pizza at TAC's house
Eww.. :lol They come extra cheesy.
-
Eating pizza at TAC's house
Eww.. :lol They come extra cheesy.
With onions!
-
Leaving carts in the middle of the parking lot.
Bitch stole my post.
-
TAC's secret stash of Winger Memorabilia
-
Being Hef's Bitch
-
Being Hef's Bitch
Not a bad gig, all things considered lol
-
Try being his son :millahhhh
-
Try being his son :millahhhh
:metal
-
Issa.
(https://gifdb.com/images/high/i-knew-it-498-x-266-gif-tz2linnap4b12kx7.gif)
Yeah, Issa is the winner. I knew it too. Wolfie has posters on his wall.
-
I don't get it
-
I don't get it
I don't get the last dozen or so of 'winning' selections either but it's all about playing to the person who's picking.
-
Issa (https://www.metal-archives.com/artists/Issa/372490) is a Norwegian "metal" singer that Kade slags constantly. She is to him as Winger is to Tim.
-
I don't get it
I don't get the last dozen or so of 'winning' selections either but it's all about playing to the person who's picking.
I get it, and I'm (sort of, but not really) sorry for that. I thought that was a funny in-joke. I rarely see Wolfking get worked up, but it seems that this artist "Issa" (never heard her, myself) has a knack for triggering that response. He sometimes gets apoplectic in the thread when she's mentioned. So to see that as actually his guilty pleasure, I got a chuckle out of that.
-
Do I still win if I lied? :biggrin: I knew I'd get you guys. Yeah Bill bit of an inside joke from a while back that never really gets old it seems.
I will admit for the sake of the win, there is one sing of hers I did like written by Robert Sall. And a nice solo from him too.
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 33
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 20
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 14
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera, wolfking - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Jamesman - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene;
Things not to do at a heavy metal concert.
-
Arrive
-
Wear white capri pants with thong sandals.
Pass out deodorant to everyone around you
Arrive in hockey pads and a full shield for the mosh pit.
-
Show up with TAC.
-
Wear a Taylor Swift t shirt.
-
Smoke a Joint you found in a Johnny on the Spot (I did this at the 2000 Ozzfest :()
Try to navigate a pit circle the opposite direction
Make out with a chic that has more piercings than white blood cells
Arrive Sober
-
Go with Lithojazzosphere and have him explain and describe every fucking nuance as it happens.
-
Ask the person standing next to you when the headliner takes the stage "Are you ready to Rock?"
-
Sit down
Wear Nickelback merch
Say you wished Issa was opening instead
-
Watching other guys pee
-
Clap your hands and cry when your favorite song comes on.
Ask them to turn it down, it's too loud.
-
Wear an oxford shirt. ;D
-
Request 'Freebird.'
-
Dance to blast beats.
-
Wear an oxford shirt. ;D
I have literally done that.
-
The Macarena
Your taxes
Burpees
-
Join the forum for the band you're going to see
-
Bring your guitar/amp to play along to the songs
-
Some nice ones here. I'll bump this and give it another 24 hours.
-
Wear a non-black shirt
-
Get a prison tat from a guy named Rooster
-
Go with Lithojazzosphere and have him explain and describe every fucking nuance as it happens.
This one made me chuckle the most. You are the winner Tim my friend! :metal
-
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 33
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 20
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 15
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera, wolfking - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Jamesman - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene;
Something a mechanic would say to you that's wrong with your car, but you're insanely jealous and you think he's talking about your wife.
-
You can hop right on and ride it……no warm up needed.
-
She’s got a lot of junk in the trunk
The high beams nearly blinded me.
The backfire is loud and rancid.
-
Because of age, lubricant is needed more frequently
-
Well I got my hands up in there and I just got covered in goo.
-
I changed the station from all the talkin and rambling and gabbing and non-stop gibberish. Fuckin loud too!
-
She sure is a beauty. How much does it cost to fill her up?
She sure does need a little lovin’. I got inside and turned ‘er on, and she sounded like she was gonna blow!
-
She looks like you let a few mexicans in a toyota microbus cornhole her out on the interstate.
I'll trade ya.
You know, it's okay to wash her more than just when it rains.
-
"Honestly, with the amount of structural damage, I don't see her moving under her own power again."
-
How long have you been driving her like this? Your ball bearings are shot.
-
You'll never get to top speed with the curtains flapping like that
-
I don’t understand anything about these new models. You gotta plug a computer in to them to make any kind of sense nowadays. The warning errors are incompressible without the proper connections.
-
There's a fair amount of body rot, but what's important is what's under the hood.
-
you have to choke it quite a bit to really get it going
-
Well I got my hands up in there and I just got covered in goo.
This made me laugh. It's so whacked. :lol
Winnah!!
-
Woo!
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 33
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 20
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 15
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera, wolfking - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, Jamesman - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
Bad things to hear in a restaurant
-
Hey look, Gordon Ramsey is eating here!
Did you see who the Chef is here, Poppy from Seinfeld!
-
I'll check the steak in a minute, I have to update my roulette's hangman!
-
The chef just threw up in the kitchen.
-
“Isn’t that DragonAttack at the bar?”
“So this is the Mrs.. Who was that woman you were here with last night?”
Recommended by Joey Chestnut.
-
Just send it out anyways!
Oh shit, a surprise health and safety inspection!
How the hell am I supposed to know what it should smell like? You’re the chef.
It’s RJ’s shift tonight.
-
My brother served time with the Chef…..says he makes a mean Carbonara.
-
Chef, which dish from the menu is this even supposed to be?
Can I order the chicken? 'Absolutely, would you like that rare, medium or well done?.......oh wait'.
-
We ran out of chicken? let's just use the secret meat.
-
No, there's not meat on the menu... we've gone vegan now.
-
"It's only a finger; surely you can find a lost finger!!!"
-
"Hello, welcome to Olive Garden".
-
Hey, Jon Taffer just walked in.
-
"Listen to me, Hatcher. You've gotta tell them! Soylent Green is people! We've gotta stop them somehow!"
-
"One one thousand... two one thousand... three one thousand..."
-
Sir, if that were the Chef's hair in your food it's not from his head, because he's bald.
-
It's our grand re-opening after those botulism cases shut us down last week.
-
Me: I'll have what my wife has.
Waiter: I've already had that.
-
Catch a Rat - Win a free Appetizer
-
Sir, if that were the Chef's hair in your food it's not from his head, because he's bald.
Winner!
-
:metal
Will post soon.
-
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 33
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 20
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 15
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Vmadera - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, Jamesman - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
Things you don't want to hear your boss saying as you walk in on him/her on a phone call.
-
Mark is going to be disappointed when he finds out he's fu.....hey Mark!
-
Have you heard that new Pyramaze album?
Don’t ever tell anyone I knew those power lines were too low.
-
Don’t ever tell anyone I knew those power lines were too low.
Yeah.....umm....wow....okay...
-
That’s right….you heard me correctly……all of it……all the money the company has left…….put it on Black!
-
"We lost HOW much on the bored apes investment?"
-
"No. I'll keep him here doing some nonescence until 10. That should give us plenty of time, Punkin'."
-
Don’t ever tell anyone I knew those power lines were too low.
Damn :lol
-
"He's here. Bring out the Gimp."
-
.....yes, AMWAY.....you heard me correctly.
-
"...so I'll let him know the Bud Lights are on him.."
-
Don’t ever tell anyone I knew those power lines were too low.
Damn :lol
I think it's safe to say that this response won't be the winner....
I'll let this ride another day to see if we can get a few more responses.
-
"...he told me his name was Chad and he likes cheesy music..."
-
"I can't believe they all drank that coffee after we found the roaches in it"
-
……I don’t know……all I know the real estate agent for Spirit Halloween was walking around the office taking measurements so it can’t be good……
-
Yeah I purposely asked Mike to work that dah so he can't make it to my birthday party...oh key Mike.
-
...not sure boss....maybe wolfking was taken hostage and he's just physically unable to pick a winner for this round?
-
Yeah I purposely asked Mike to work that dah so he can't make it to my birthday party...oh key Mike.
Okay, let's move this one on. I liked this one, winner!
-
:metal
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 33
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 20
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 15
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, Jamesman - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
Your best friend asked you to play his favorite DT song at his wedding. You misunderstood the request and instead...
-
Gave him a hand job under the table. ("Pull me under")
-
Fuc%ed his Fiancée
-
Played "Misunderstood", a track from Dream Theater's 6th album Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence
-
Played it at his funeral.
-
Played his favorite Donald Trump song.
-
Went on a tirade on the groom’s stepfather.
-
recovered from a drinking problem over the course of 5 albums
-
consumed a large amount of DMT and proceeded to feverishly masturbate to completion at every guests table
-
Told the wedding singer that he was way out of tune.
-
Instituted revolving guest lists.
Banned all video taping by the guests during the ceremony.
-
Started a debate between the Missus Previously and the Missus Momentarily by repeating its not the same since MP left.
-
The father/daughter dance was in 7/4.
-
Played The Mighty Masturbator by Devin Townsend.
-
Played a Dark Tranquility song instead.
-
Played SDV as getting married he will never be open again.
-
you ask his brother Larry if 5 days from now when they marry if he could be the best man. He says 'sure'.....then you say Neat-o and check your libido and roll to the church in your new tuxedo. When the bride walks down to start the wedding you realize there's one more girl you won't be gettin'
-
Played Strapping Young Lad for the first dance.
-
Your friend gets access to a secret new DT album from the internet and surprises him by playing it at the wedding while beaming as JLB's soaring vocals sing "CRUCIFY RESIST DENY!"
-
Since he's not really your best friend, you have no idea... and start a Wild Ranger-esque poll "Which DT song is best for weddings".
-
Some good ones, others that went in a direction I was not expecting :)
But this one wins it for me :lol
Played The Mighty Masturbator by Devin Townsend.
-
Schweet!
Updated Standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 20
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 15
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Snow Dog - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, Jamesman - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
Famous movie quotes, closed captioned horribly wrong.
-
Nose...bud
-
….”I’m your fu%k buddy…..”……..Doc Holiday - Tombstone
-
“If you bang it……she will cum”. Whisper Voice - Field of Dreams
-
You can’t hand Al the tooth!
Frankly my dear, I could give a f*ck
-
"May the floss be with you"
That's my dentist's favorite line.
-
1.21 gigolos!
-
ANDY: Think you'll ever get out of here?
RED: Sure. When I got a long white beard and about three marbles left rolling around upstairs.
ANDY: Tell you where I'd go. See what an a-hole.
RED: See what an a-hole?
-
You can’t handle the girth!
-
Life is like a box of Chiclets…
Loo tenant Dan!
-
There's no crapping in baseball!
I am your farter
What we have here is a failure to copulate.
Butt. James Butt.
Nobody puts that brat in a corner.
To infinity and balls deep.
-
Badgers? We don’t need no stinking badgers!
Their hear!
-
Pasta la Vista, baby
-
To Xfinity and beyond!
-
Inception: "We have to go deeper!" (I can't feel you in there)
-
I love the smell of a$$hole in the morning
Are You tickling me? Are you tickling me?
-
I'm wankin' here, I'm wankin' here.
Say hello to my little pony.
-
You've got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well...do ya, hunk?
-
I am personally placing a hundred-dollar bounty on the head of TAC McCracken.
-
I am personally placing a hundred-dollar bounty on the head of TAC McCracken.
:tup
-
-"you're without a doubt the worst painter I ever heard of"
"But you have heard of me"
-this is the day you will always remember as the day you almost poked Captain Jack Sparrow
-
Heeeeeere's John!
-
I coulda been a bartender
-
Staaadlerrrrr! Staaadlerrrrrrr!
-
Great timing! :tup
-
ANDY: Think you'll ever get out of here?
RED: Sure. When I got a long white beard and about three marbles left rolling around upstairs.
ANDY: Tell you where I'd go. See what an a-hole.
RED: See what an a-hole?
That is great!
-
Great stuff so far, lads. I’ll let this go another day to give the weekday posters a shot.
-
You're going to need a bigger bong
-
I’ll be bukkake.
-
You know, when I posted this scene I was anticipating laughing at the scandalous innuendo and scatalogical brilliance from you degenerates, but in the end, what tickled me the most was the spelling impaired captioners of TAC, DragonAttack, and especially the hard of hearing, poor spelling captioner of Snow Dog!
1.21 gigolos!
ANDY: Think you'll ever get out of here?
RED: Sure. When I got a long white beard and about three marbles left rolling around upstairs.
ANDY: Tell you where I'd go. See what an a-hole.
RED: See what an a-hole?
Life is like a box of Chiclets…
Loo tenant Dan!
All great entries, and a worthy victory. [pat pat]Who's the good boy. You're the good boy[scratch scratch]
-
Awesome! Thanks!
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 20
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 15
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes, Snow Dog - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, Jamesman - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
DTF members’ 2024 Presidential campaign slogans
-
Make Dream Theater Portnoy-ish again
-
Kinger: Acntios Trolkemo Csabnom
-
TAC: LETS MAKE TIN CAN PHONES GREAT AGAIN!
-
hefdaddy42: No.
-
jingle.boy: Make Kim Jong-Il alive again.
-
hefdaddy42: No.
hefdaddy: Make that bitch shut the fuck up again.
-
Stadler: Let Common Sence Prevail
-
Lonestar: "On my first day in office I will.......visit Japan."
-
KevShmev: Here are the Top 40 things I will do as president....
-
Hefdaddy: You're still a stupid fucking bitch
Chino: No balcony speeches
Chino: Here's your cone
Anyone: The best them
TAC: Make Corals Empty Again
DragonAttack: Rejoin the Monarchy
WildRanger: Objectively better
-
Jingle.boy : Make Middle Fingers Great Again
-
Frankly, my dear, I could donate a yam!
oops....plagiarizing and too late ;)
btw...what would have happened had that big oak tree been cleared, or if Red couldn't remember 'what an a-hole'? :lol Moving on...
*************
Get back in the sack with DragonAttack!
TAC: Unity FOrever
jingle.boy Will Bring Home The Cup, eh!
Snow Dog: Victorious Over By-Tor Since 1975!
Choose Harmony!
VOTE FOR CHANGE: Kingshmegland, King Gizz & Liz Wiz Bizzie, uhm, Kinger in '24!
-
Jingle.Boy:"I will give Boston back to England."
-
lonestar: Free Healthcare with ever purchase of a Gacharic Spin album.
-
Jamesman: We ARE a match.
-
TAC: EVER GROCERY PARKING LOT WILL BE STAFFED WITH EMPLOYEES COLLECTING CARTS!
-
TAC: I would build a great cart wall. And nobody builds a cart wall better than me, believe me. And I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great great cart wall on our parking lot borders and I’ll have grocery stores pay for that cart wall.”
-
TAC: We will put a wall around the Power Windows albums. The wall will be known as the "Sucks & Blows Wall." Believe me it will bw made on the backs of great American metal guitarist!
-
TACecanoe and Tyler Too!
I, Stadler (the real Stadler, and not the Muppet) propose, inter alia (and among other things) to, a) reduce the divisiveness, b) ban the Political Humor thread, c) outlaw common sense (which is neither common, nor sense (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-power-prime/201107/common-sense-is-neither-common-nor-sense)), and d) nominate Kiss' "Rockin' In The U.S.A." as the new National Anthem.*
* In lieu of that, I am pledging to make Diamond David Lee Roth our official ambassador to the Europe, Africa, and that portion of Asia that was included on their first two albums.
-
Kinger: Acntios Trolkemo Csabnom
Lots of good ones, but the mental picture of a bunch of signs in a crowd with Kingly misspelled gibberish on them is a crack up!
TAC, you're up!
-
Yeah, I was pretty sure that one was winning right out of the gate.
-
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 27 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 20
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 16
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes, Snow Dog - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, Jamesman - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
Funny signs you would see in a Grocery store
-
Please return your cart to the corral, asshole.
-
Kinger: Acntios Trolkemo Csabnom
Lots of good ones, but the mental picture of a bunch of signs in a crowd with Kingly misspelled gibberish on them is a crack up!
TAC, you're up!
Imagine me holding that sign up tonight at AEW in Boston tonight where I am! Lolol
-
Playing live next Wednesday, Queensryche.
-
Kinger: Acntios Trolkemo Csabnom
Lots of good ones, but the mental picture of a bunch of signs in a crowd with Kingly misspelled gibberish on them is a crack up!
TAC, you're up!
Imagine me holding that sign up tonight at AEW in Boston tonight where I am! Lolol
Is this the one you held up?
(https://i.imgur.com/8pIA5hW.png)
-
Free Winger CD with the purchase of $50 or more. Winger + Rush's Power Windows with $100 purchase.
-
No Tim. No signs here just suplexes.
-
Marjorie Taylor Green rap poetry, 7pm tomorrow
Brussel sprouts sold out.
Black light special in the family planning aisle.
-
10% off of all expired canned food. 15% off moldy bread.
-
Spotted Dick
We beat everybody’s meat!
Single price: $1.98. Buy two: $3.98.
-
Attention: If the scanner fails to ring your item up, no, it’s not fucking free…
Melons on sale at Big (.Y.)
Oral condoms 69¢ ea
-
Deli does not sell fish. The fresh Salmon smell is our Manager Susan's musk.
Lost children will be given a gallon of their favorite ice cream and a bag of Skittles until claimed.
-
Blue Chees Roulette - buy six blocks ... one of them is one-month old mozzarella.
-
If you bought "Glazed" Donuts on the morning of 7/13/2023, contact Tom Billing's at Murphy and Sons Lawyer's office. You will be included as a plaintiff in the class action lawsuit
-
If you touch or smell any fruit, you must purchase it.
-
Please leave unwanted frozen food you thoufht you wanted but changed your mind on any open shelf in the store.
-
Please don't fondle the melons.
-
Please don't fondle the melons.
Or at least ask for permission first.
-
2 for 1 sale on Massengill products in the salad dressing isle.
-
Free 6-pack of beer with the purchase of 3 boxes of diapers.
-
We now carry the Magnum Condoms. No, not for you buddy. For him!
-
Free 6-pack of beer with the purchase of 3 boxes of diapers.
"Daddy drinks because you cry!"
-
Free 6-pack of beer with the purchase of 3 boxes of diapers.
"In Russia, Daddy drinks because you cry!"
FTFTYS
-
Free 6-pack of beer with the purchase of 3 boxes of diapers.
"In Russia, Daddy drinks because you cry!"
FTFTYS
Fixed That For The Young Shits?!
-
Fixed that for you Yakov Smirnoff.
-
Fixed that for you Yakov Smirnoff.
Rolls right off the tongue
-
Chad, like in Russia!
-
Please leave unwanted frozen food you thoufht you wanted but changed your mind on any open shelf in the store.
I laughed the most at this one because it's so true. Of course, a Kinger's Market sign would have a spelling issue.
You're up Joe!!!
-
:lol
-
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 28 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 20
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 16
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes, Snow Dog - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, Jamesman - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene: Make your own TV slogans but for terrible products.
-
Coors Light: You know you want it
-
Butt Scratcher: For the times your spouse is not around.
-
ACME Booger Picker - Go for the GOLD!
-
The New Fargo 100 model woodchipper by Ronco. No one will ever find out!
-
Budweiser: the original flavoured water.
-
At a concert. Will pick a winner tomorrow.
-
Printer Ink Cartridges: you'll never financially recover from buying this.
-
Pubic Pillow - Package those manscaped pubes in this silk pouch and enjoy a comforting night of sleep.
-
John Petrucci's Tone Mission: Don't fucking bother
-
Tone Mission - You still won't be as good as me, n00b.
-
The Thirty Second Pitch Clock: It works in the bedroom too!
-
Printer Ink Cartridges: you'll never financially recover from buying this.
And when you use then, it's dried up! Lol. Winner!
-
For real!
Also 1 win away from being tied with LHK, I miss that guy.
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 28 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 20
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 16
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes, Snow Dog - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, Jamesman - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene: A celebrity wishes upon a star. Who is it and what did they wish for?
-
Fiji Water driven Hover car.
-
I want a who as well, let me edit that in :biggrin:
-
Clint Eastwood wishes some punk would make his day.
-
Ben Stiller wished to not to be such a fucking annoying asshole.
-
Dwayne Johnson wished for being able to act.
-
Kingshmegland wished for a spell checker.
-
Kingshmegland wished for a spell checker.
Doesn't help me now.
Thanks for the celebrity status though.
-
Elon Musk wished he hadn't bought twitter for the memes.
-
James Labrie wishes he could sing.
-
James Labrie wishes he could sing.
:lol You live dangerously mate.
-
The members of Dream Theater wish James could sing.
-
Jason Aldean wishes he didn't try that in a small town.
-
The members of Dream Theater wish James could sing.
John Myung wishes James didn’t hit him over the head with a chair when they discussed his vocals.
-
Nick wishes he didn’t fail so much.
John Petrucci wants more chickens to rub.
-
Kevin Moore wishes he would be open again.
-
The members of Dream Theater wish James could sing.
John Myung wishes James didn’t hit him over the head with a chair when they discussed his vocals.
John Myung then wished he could sing to replace James.
-
John Petrucci then listened to James' solo albums and then wished they chose Peter Wildoer instead of Mangini so he could also replace James and have every song sung entirely of growls.
-
Mike Portnoy wished he could growl like Peter Wildoer.
-
What is this, the Dream Theater Wish Foundation? :lol
Michael Angelo Batio wished for 2 extra arms
-
Lars wished for rhythm
-
Stephen Wilson wished for joy.
-
Roger Waters wishes you were here.
-
Roger Waters wishes you were here.
:clap:
-
John Cena wishes for no more wishes
-
Peter Dinklage wishes to go on rollercoaster rides.
-
Easy E wishes he’d have worn a condom
-
Bill Clinton wishes the Oval Office had a laundromat
-
Bill Clinton wishes the Oval Office had a laundromat Monica swallowed
Fix'd
-
Ryan Gosling wishes you would just tell him what you want.
-
Roger Waters wishes you were here.
So many good ones, this was hard but stepdad wins!
-
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 28 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 21
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 16
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42 - 10
masterthes, Snow Dog - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, Jamesman - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene: (If we've done this already, let me know; I didn't see it): Elon Musk's failed names for his Twitter rebranding.
-
Twatter obvious, I know
Face-X
-
Musker
-
Tesler.
-
I have no idea what I’m fucking doing.
Severance-X
-
Kinger
Queener
-
I'm calling Lisa that tonight.
-
XYYZ
X AE A-12
-
Mine
-
HTLFAAP
How To Lose Friends And Alienate People
-
DTFX
-
➗
-
Dimwitter
-
NottheTitanguy
-
That Hashtag Place
-
➗
I don't know why, but this one made me laugh. Win.
-
Thanks!
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 28 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 21
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 16
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, Jamesman - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene: Rejected Jeopardy categories.
-
Famous Sean Connery Imitations
An Alchemist (think back to that SNL skit...)
King Misspellings
I'll Blow You (Because it would be funny to hear contestants say "I'll Blow You for $200, Alex" over and over...)
-
WTF is that?
Sucks & Blows.
-
Famous Turds
-
Clinton Associates who’ve Died of “suicide”
Name that MCU Phase
-
Taylor Swift Boyfriend Names
Spike Lee Movie Flops
Top Covid Vaccine Side Effects
-
University of Utah Heisman Trophy Winners
BBC weather girls
-
Conspiracy Theories Gary Buys Into
-
I'll Blow You (Because it would be funny to hear contestants say "I'll Blow You for $200, Alex" over and over...)
:lol
I mean, why evn post anything else after this? :lol
-
Mothers you’ve banged
The women of DTF (the first category in Jeopardy history with 4 answers)
Bra sizes
Bosk’s most irrational bans.
-
Tim's Top 10 Winger songs
Jay's legitimate work related gripes
Best DTF Donation Contest prizes
-
Douchiest News Anchors
Celebrity Cumsluts
Actresses Too Old For Leonardo DiCaprio To Consider Dating
-
I'll Blow You (Because it would be funny to hear contestants say "I'll Blow You for $200, Alex" over and over...)
:lol
I mean, why evn post anything else after this? :lol
Yeah, this one had me laughing out loud at my kid’s swim lesson yesterday. Boomerang win for the Stads!
-
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 52
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 28 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 16
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, Jamesman - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene: Awful "to-do" jobs around the house...
-
Absolutely anything.
-
The misses.
-
Apologizing for doing nothing wrong.
-
Apologizing for doing something differently than you were expected to do it.
-
The trash because how in the HELL is it full again already?!?!
-
Just because my my fire hose is uncontrollable, doesn't mean I clean the toilet lady.
-
Scrubbing the shower
Raking leaves
Plunging a shit-plugged toilet
-
Buying tampons
-
Just because my my fire hose is uncontrollable, doesn't mean I clean the toilet lady.
Fucking the maid is on the to do list?
-
Buying tampons
Your time of the month comes around quick mate. :biggrin:
-
Recalibrating the motion detectors and cameras with armorment switch after a landmine is tripped.
-
Just because my my fire hose is uncontrollable, doesn't mean I clean the toilet lady.
Fucking the maid is on the to do list?
I think he meant toilet comma lady. I mean who has an actual Toilet Lady? :lol
-
Just because my my fire hose is uncontrollable, doesn't mean I clean the toilet lady.
Fucking the maid is on the to do list?
I think he meant toilet comma lady. I mean who has an actual Toilet Lady? :lol
Who doesn't?
-
Hand Sift the Kitty Litter Box
Hand Wash Tampons for reuse
-
Just because my my fire hose is uncontrollable, doesn't mean I clean the toilet lady.
Fucking the maid is on the to do list?
I think he meant toilet comma lady. I mean who has an actual Toilet Lady? :lol
That might be one of King's better keyboard mishaps!! :)
-
Tongue-polish the toilet.
-
Begging for your life back.
-
Just because my my fire hose is uncontrollable, doesn't mean I clean the toilet lady.
Fucking the maid is on the to do list?
I think he meant toilet comma lady. I mean who has an actual Toilet Lady? :lol
Tim, be a man, dammit.
-
Cleaning the toilet lady does not make me less of a man.
-
Cleaning the toilet lady does not make me less of a man.
She'd tell you to get the fuck away. I know that from almost 29 years of marriage. Lol
-
Rid the yard of dog poo using chop sticks
-
Refresh the Scenes From a Hat Thread on the Family Computer to see if Bill picks a winner this year
-
Refresh the Scenes From a Hat Thread on the Family Computer to see if Bill picks a winner this year
HAHAHA, I'll give that one the nod, just because it strikes close to home!!!
:)
-
Ha! Since it's been a hot minute since I've won one I'll take it.....
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 53
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 28 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
Cool Chris - 17
TAC - 16
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, Jamesman - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene: Things you can say about your job/work but not about your significant other.
-
It sucks, hard.
-
I'm just glad I don't have Tim as a team-mate.
-
Well, I only do it half days Tuesday through Thursday, all day Friday, with the weekend and Monday off.
I'm soliciting a buyer of my interest so I can retire.
After 45 plus years, I've had enough.
-
At least I know when I'm getting off.
-
I'm getting paid for getting f-----d.
-
Can't this be done over Zoom?
The benefits are shit.
-
My boss likes me to come early.
-
Oral skills are not practiced or utilized enough.
-
There sure is a lot of fat in the organization.
-
Can't wait for lunchtime at the cafeteria so I can finally get a decent meal.
-
I have to do everything manually around here.
-
I dread entering every time, and can’t wait to pull out
-
It's a mom and pop type.
-
It’s not very demanding.
-
It's a matrix environment.
-
It's always chaotic, and I find it best just to keep my mouth shut most of the time.
-
Right out of the gate you all were playing catch up......and while there were some good ones.....Tim takes it home with this one.
At least I know when I'm getting off.
You're up Tim! Update the Standings and post a new scene.....
-
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 53
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 28 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 17
Cool Chris - 17
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, Jamesman - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene: A farmer is in his barn talking to the animals. His jealous wife hides behind the silo, and is convinced he has a mistress in there with him because she hears him say...
-
I want to shave your bush, Gertrude.
-
‘When I stick this up your *ss, we’ll find out how hot you really are.’
‘You’re the best ass I’ve ever had.’
‘Be a good girl and suck on it. Oh, yeah, that’s it.’
-
"I am sorry we need to meet in here, but I don't want my wife to think I have a mistress."
-
Atta girl, slurp every last drop out of it.
Quit yer squealing
Get down and stop squirming.
-
Let me feed you.
-
♪♫ She's only seventeen. Daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me. ♫♪
-
Hmmm... these nipples look awful chafed. Let me put some vaseline on there.
-
...I can't ride her....she's disgusting and a pig. You are built for riding, you're graceful and your body is perfect...even when you buck every now and then it's fun and exciting.
-
I love my cock a dude will do.
-
That's it, lean over the trough...it'll make cleaning up the blood easier.
-
I do have a fave so far, but I'll pick a winner tonight. Let's step it up!!!!!!
-
"Do you think this would better in a bed or up against a fence?"
-
You've been a BAAAAD girl
-
Man that’s a deep well…..stays pretty wet too
-
Just calm down and let me squeeze those nice big round udders. Daddy needs some milk.
-
I want to shave your bush, Gertrude.
You're up Joe!
Any scene with a Gertrude wins!
-
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 53
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 29 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 17
Cool Chris - 17
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, hefdaddy42, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, Jamesman - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New scene: How you explain you just crapped your pants without saying you crapped your pants?
-
I sat in brown paint.
-
The brown note got me
-
I brought brownies fresh out the oven.
I just Dreamed in my Theater.
-
The god of defecation have visited my back door.
-
Wudn’t me.
-
I was returning some pants, I took a shortcut in a subway and fell in some mud, ruining my pants. The very pants I was returning.
-
Did you know if you combine cake mix, molasses, and corn, it looks a lot like what I have here in my pants?
-
Just picked up these cool new urban cammo pants
-
I just saw a man about a horse...
-
“What can brown do for you?”
-
I accidentally my pants
-
I accidentally my pants
The whole thing?
-
I accidentally my pants
The whole thing?
You know it
-
Sorry…..Sat on a bench in San Franscisco
-
I just dropped a pair of deuces on the Fruit of the Loom gang
-
Kids at the pool... amirite?
-
Forgive me, I just saw Tim return a cart.
-
My coworker said “you gotta be shitting me” when I told him I quit…..so……….
-
I just pinched off a fresh loaf in the back.
-
I knew I should've worn a diaper.
-
I accidentally my pants
I giggled. Winner!
-
I accidentally my pants
I giggled. Winner!
lol OK
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 53
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 29 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 17
Cool Chris - 17
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, Jamesman - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New scene: Upbeat Oppenheimer sequel titles
-
Japan Rocks!
-
Dahmer
-
Oppenheimest!!!
Oppenheimer II: The Fallout!
-
Oppen heimer style! Gangnam boogaloo.
-
No title, but it'll probably open the same weekend as Cabbage Patch Dolls
-
Oppenheimer 2: Electric Ooogaloo
-
Oppenheist
Oppendadoor
Oppenupandsayahhhh
-
Barbenheimer :neverusethis:
-
Feynman: The Roast
-
Oppenheimer 2: Brighter Days Ahead
-
(https://i.postimg.cc/Y2Qzgb9k/FB-IMG-1691623448971.jpg) (https://postimages.org/)
-
Glass Factory - The Aftermath
-
2 Oppen 2 Heimer
-
Kitty does Oppy
-
Oppenheimer 2: Brighter Days Ahead
That's pretty good. Winner!
-
Damnit I was also going to post : ;D
Closenheimer
-
:coolio
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 53
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 29 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 17
Cool Chris - 17
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Jamesman - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New scene: Dark Barbie sequel titles
-
Woke Barbie
Barbie Daughter - Debbie
Barbie the 13th
-
BarBeQued
Barbiedwire
Burned Barbie Heads
-
Barbie Does Boston
-
^
I was going to post 'Barbie Does Baltimore', but ya beat me to the punch by about five minutes. :tup :sad:
Barbie II: Ken Grows A Pair (and a penis, too!)
-
Barbie Witch Project
-
Barbie Wick: Chapter 2 — Cerebellum
-
Shaq on the Barbie
-
Barbie 2: I Spit On Ken's Grave!
-
Barbie Bukkake - starring Ken, Len, Ben, and ten other men
-
Barbie TRANSformers - Don't assume anything
-
Barbie. No Shrimp.
-
Barbie TRANSformers - Don't assume anything
More than meets the eye.
-
Barbie - Life is plastic
-
Barbie goes to Washington
Behind the Barbie Door
Barbie: Multiplicity
-
It’s Barbie Bitch
Barb - No more fun and games
-
Shaq on the Barbie
Winner! This has layers
-
Thanks!
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 29 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 17
Cool Chris - 17
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Jamesman - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New scene: creative names for a ‘menu board’ at a brothel
-
STD Sally
Sarah's Sloppy Seconds
Top Shelf Titties
Beefy Brenda
Chlamydia Carol
-
Hot and Brotheled
-
Dick Inside Skank
BLT - Be Laid Tonight
Lube ‘n’ Tube - for those do-it-yourselfers
Blow on the Go
Quickie with Nikki
-
Betty Bowl
Surf and Squirt
-
Clam Chowder
-
Clam Chowder
Had to send it back... had hair in it.
-
Krispy Kreme on Karen.
Donna kebab
Claudia's Home made Cherry Pie with Cream
-
The Shmegland Treatment
-
The Shmegland Treatment
5 minutes and you're in heaven.
-
A 12 inch sub.
-
Fetishccuine Alfredo
-
Elongated Dick.
-
Chili Con Caren
-
Whatever it is, hopefully it's not as stale as the decision on this round's winner!
-
Whatever it is, hopefully it's not as stale as the decision on this round's winner!
Sorry!!! Was away from the CPU all day yesterday....plus....you all made this extremely difficult to decide.....so many good ones. But alas.....I have to give the nod to the King for this one....
Surf and Squirt
-
Thanks!
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 30 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 17
Cool Chris - 17
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Jamesman - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra - 3
XJDenton, Faizoff, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New scene: Billboard adds if I typed them out.
-
Jesus Shaves
-
Rest Slob Next Exit
-
Waffle Hose Next Ewit
-
Poop and Waiter - Exit 247
-
Make Emergency sexit here.
Don't be a suckup fign here.
-
You Are Now Entering: Jamestown
Copulation: 5,253
-
Jesus Shaves
We could do a whole thread on that:
Jesus Raves
Jesus Stares
Jesus Caves
-
Live, In Concept: Tush - Pooper Windows Toor
-
Upload text here.
-
Mac Donald next excite
-
Welcome to Gaymond, New Hampshire!
-
Eat More Chicken
(See what I did there?)
-
Coors Light: Mildly better than your own piss.
-
Arby's - E hav a meatsd
-
Pubic Education: So much fun they don't know there learning
-
Make Emergency sexit here.
Don't be a suckup fign here.
This was hilarious. Winna!
-
Make Emergency sexit here.
This was hilarious. Winna!
Cool!
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 30 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 17
Cool Chris - 17
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Jamesman - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, faizoff - 3
XJDenton, AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next Scene: The imaginary #1 hit song by your favorite imaginary band
-
Living to Learn - Nightmare Cinema
Shaddup a You Face - The Italians
Puttin the Cart Away - TAC (The Ass Clowns)
We Agree - Statler and Waltorf
There's Waldo - The Stripes
-
The Pen to Paper by The Ungrammaticals.
-
Fat Sunny - by white rapper Reese’s Pieces
-
Trimmin the Hedges - Kate's Bush
-
Living to Learn - Nightmare Cinema
Shaddup a You Face - The Italians
Puttin the Cart Away - TAC (The Ass Clowns)
We Agree - Statler and Waltorf
There's Waldo - The Stripes
Joe Dolce will sue you for this one mate!
-
Hacken - We Suck
-
Living to Learn - Nightmare Cinema
Shaddup a You Face - The Italians
Puttin the Cart Away - TAC (The Ass Clowns)
We Agree - Statler and Waltorf
There's Waldo - The Stripes
Joe Dolce will sue you for this one mate!
Man alive, you were the LAST person I figured know this!
-
Living to Learn - Nightmare Cinema
Shaddup a You Face - The Italians
Puttin the Cart Away - TAC (The Ass Clowns)
We Agree - Statler and Waltorf
There's Waldo - The Stripes
Joe Dolce will sue you for this one mate!
Man alive, you were the LAST person I figured know this!
It may be before my time but it was fucking huge over here. I remember it all the time when I was a kid.
-
Sportin Wood - 6-2-12
How'd the Cow Shit Get on the Roof - The Conversationalists
Where the Votes? - Maganation
-
Will wait for maybe tonight before picking.
-
Dialling for Pizza (they ran out of cheese) - The Munchies
Africa Pt II: Nothing They Could Ever Do - 100 More Men
Cold Winter Days - Van Wailin
-
DTF House Band - Where the bitches at?
-
"I'm Sorry For Being an Asshole All These Years" by The Roger Waters Experience.
-
Winger Allen-Not Quite Seventeen
-
Hedgehog Shrub - Steven Wilson
-
No - Six way traffic light intersection
-
No - Six way traffic light intersection
lol Winner, you're up!
The Italian shaddup was a close 2nd.
-
Noice.
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 73
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 30 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 17
Cool Chris - 17
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Jamesman - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, faizoff, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New scene: Rejected US state mottos.
-
At Least It’s Not England
-
Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your country can do for you.
-
West Virginia - Defending Champion and Undefeated Black Lung Leader
Nebraska - Hope You Like Corn And Nothing Else To Stop The Wind
Kansas - At Least We Have A Good Band Named After Us
Alabama - We Put The "Hospital" In "Hospitality"
-
Alaska - Colder than a witches cunt, and darker too!
California - Fires, fuck yeah!
Hawaii - Fires, fuck yeah! (too soon?)
Florida - Making 1898 great again
-
Utah: You’re welcome, Illinois!
New Mexico: Hey, Oppenheimer liked it.
-
California: I have lost it
-
Rhode Island-Massachusetts' Ass
-
Maine-Yeah Pretty Much Canada
-
Colorado - High, how are you?
-
New Mexico- Mexico, But Newer
-
Massachusets - Betchya can't spell it
Arizona - Welcome to the surface of the sun
Texas - So humid you could fuck a witch
-
Delaware - Hey, remember me?!
Minnesota - Our sports teams are just for show
Florida - America’s penis
-
Alabama : Let's Keep it in the Family.
-
Oklahoma - Home of the toothbrush (cuz otherwise it'd be called the teethbrush)
-
Georgia - Where Miracles happen at 3:00am
-
New Hampshire - We'll rock your face off.
-
Louisiana - Slugger... You don't even know her!
-
Idaho - You da hoe, we all da hoe's!
Wyoming - Wy not Oming?
-
Come to West Virginia, where the men are men, and the sheep are scared.
-
New York- Even jomokes from New Jersey sing about us.
-
Michigan - Talk to the Hand (No, Really)
-
Massachusets - Betchya can't spell it
Going with this one simply because, deliberately or no, you didn't spell it correctly, so extra points.
-
Totally intentional - largely cuz I didn't know how to spell it!
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 74
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 30 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 17
Cool Chris - 17
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Jamesman - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, faizoff, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next Scene: Famous characters as portrayed by Scooby Doo.
-
Delaware - Hey, remember me?!
Minnesota - Our sports teams are just for show
Florida - America’s penis
HAHA
-
"Ringrish, mrothrer fruckrer. Droo ryoo spreek rit!"
-
Romy DeVero.
-
Well... that one went over like a fart in an elevator.
Gregg... take the easy win, and maybe you can give us a better one.
-
I actually thought it was funny. It's like singing metal lyrics in Elmer Fudd's voice. :lol
-
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 74
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 35
kingshmegland - 30 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 17
Cool Chris - 17
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam - 8
Soupytwist, Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Jamesman - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, faizoff, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Unexpected responses from a Mattel Magic 8 Ball (or similar fortune telling toy).
-
You're fucked!
-
You're fucked!
I should have specified, a non-Aussie Magic 8 Ball. :lol
-
Can you please put the cart back in the carousel.
Whip it out.
-
You're fucked!
I should have specified, a non-Aussie Magic 8 Ball. :lol
I got nothing then. :lol
-
You're cancelled!
-
You should stay home today.
-
- Ask me another question and someone you love dies.
- Boobies!
- Everyone hates you.
- It's genital herpes.
-
"This prediction is only available to those with the '8-baller Club" subscription package. Scan the QR code to subscribe!"
-
It's a tumor
The Baby Isn't Yours
She Went Black
-
(https://i.ibb.co/zPrsdCw/saving-PNG.jpg) (https://ibb.co/3S71KVH)
-
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
-
Undertaker is the powerhouse of Hell in a Cell.
-
Undertaker is the powerhouse of Hell in a Cell.
Facts are facts.
-
Your extended warranty is about to run out.
-
Your parents never loved you.
-
My other 8 ball is a piece of shit.
-
Smash the like button!!!
-
If you got another 8 Ball to go along with me, you would have one massive pair of balls.
-
HTTP 404 Error - Not Found
Congrats! You've won the DTF Donations Contest! (Too soon?)
-
Congrats! You've won the DTF Donations Contest! (Too soon?)
Oh snap
-
'All signs point........to.....hmmm....your hands are soft and you have a nice touch, yeah, that feels good, seems like you've handled balls many times before, am I right?
-
Help me, I'm trapped inside this Octavarium.
-
Help me, I'm trapped inside this Octavarium.
Nice! :lol
-
Kevin Moore is the only true Dream Theater keyboardist
-
Scratch.
-
What did you expect?
-
Would you like fries with that?
-
Hey, watch who you're jostling like that!
-
- Everyone hates you.
Winner!
-
Cool!
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 74
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 30 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 17
Cool Chris - 17
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist - 8
Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, Jamesman - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, faizoff, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next topic..
Insert an one extra word into a famous movie quote.
-
We're going to need, a bigger banana boat.
-
You can't handle the truth fart!
No! I am your fucking father!
-
"The name's Bond. James Stephanie Bond."
-
Keep combing!
We ain't found bubkis!
-
I'll be right back
-
Toto, we're not in Kansas City anymore.
-
I'm gonna make him a credit card offer he can't refuse.
-
Aim for the George Bushes!
-
I'll be back tomorrow.
Get your chapped ass to Mars
It's not a potato tumor!
-
"Every time a bell rings an angel gets his buffalo wings."
-
I’m your Huckleberry Finn
-
“I have been — and always shall be — your girlfriend.”
“Hulk smash like!”
“Nobody puts Baby powder in a corner”
-
Evil will always triumph, because good Tim is dumb.
-
I’ll be back sometime
-
It's an 88 Magnum. This goes through armor. And through the victim, through the wall, through a tree outside, and through a Ginsu.
-
One does not simply moonwalk into Mordor.
It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your back door.
-
One does not simply moonwalk into Mordor.
Lmao this would have been my pick easily lol.
-
That is amazing! :lol
-
I didn't get it.
-
I didn't get it.
You suck.
-
I didn't get it.
You suck.
Oh, now that I get! :lol
-
:lol
-
I didn't get it.
(https://i.redd.it/nhim8ly085251.jpg)
-
Perfection.
-
Here's looking at you, stupid kid.
-
“Keep your friends close, but your enemies girlfriends closer.” (The Godfather II)
"If you build it, he will come hard." (Field of Dreams)
"Carpe diem. Seize the day drinking, boys." (Dead Poet's Society)
"Whitney Houston, we have a problem." (Apollo 13)
"Is this your kingschmegland?" (Black Panther)
"You make me want to be a better mailman." (As Good As It Gets)
-
Stads Whitney Houston nearly snuck it at the end, but it has to be Moonwalk to Mordor.
Your up Jamesman42
-
Updated standings:
Jingle.boy - 74
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 30 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 17
Cool Chris - 17
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist - 8
Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, faizoff, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next topic: You get to ask God or Satan one question and they have to answer truthfully. What do you ask them?
-
"God, did you really create Mondays, or was that Satan's idea?"
-
"When you guys to tempt someone, do you do rock, paper, scissors to see who gets the right shoulder and who gets the left?"
-
Who's better at ping pong?
-
God, what does the H stand for in Jesus' middle name?
-
God, what does the H stand for in Jesus' middle name?
Everyone knows it's Horatio
-
But dad! I thought I was Jesus Christ?
-
How specific do I need to be about damning ‘it’?
-
- Hey God, does it annoy you Satan has all the best tunes?
- What you called 'The Immaculate Conception' was Rohypnol really wasn't it?
- Why does God need a starship?
-
I assume you two assholes have met?
-
So, why are the fun factory and the garbage factory so close to each other?
-
So, what's the deal with the platypus?
-
Where's Jimmy Hoffa?
-
Who wants to come with me to my Fantasy Football draft?
-
"Do you guys ever carpool to work, or is that against your celestial policies?"
-
God, what does the H stand for in Jesus' middle name?
Winner, good job
-
Jingle.boy - 74
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 30 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
Cool Chris - 18
TAC - 17
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist - 8
Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, faizoff, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Despite the NFL's popularity, the league is trying to entice more women to become fans. As such, for the upcoming season the NFL has instituted this new rule change:
-
When it’s 4th and Inches the offense can pick up the first down by dropping their pants
Random women are selected from the crowd to be part of the ‘training staff’
-
For overtime.
2 Wicked pornstars blow the captains. First to cum, looses in overtime.
-
For overtime.
2 Wicked pornstars blow the captains. First to cum, looses in overtime.
"oooooHhhhHHHHH gO cHiEfS!!!"
-
Every month is breast cancer month.
-
Hot male cheerleaders.
-
Hot male cheerleaders.
But Kingshmegland already watches.
-
Hot male cheerleaders.
But Kingshmegland already watches.
No. I'm the pimp, my bitch.
-
Buy one Thursday Night Football game, get the next two free!!
-
I thought this would be a fun game to play along with but don't you guys feel like some responses to this one are a bit misogynistic?
-
I gave that a thought when I posted but I felt I knew the usual suspects here well enough to not go over the line. If I misjudged I apologize.
-
I thought this would be a fun game to play along with but don't you guys feel like some responses to this one are a bit misogynistic?
Crude yes, misogynistic yes. The very nature of this scene is going to invite such responses. We used to attract a bigger group of people in this thread, but I think most were chased off because they couldn't compete and/or were disgusted with the vulgar, scattalogical leanings in here.
My suggestion is to respond only to scenes you like, and only with responses that you feel good about.
-
Helmet cam.
-
I thought this would be a fun game to play along with but don't you guys feel like some responses to this one are a bit misogynistic?
Crude yes, misogynistic yes. The very nature of this scene is going to invite such responses. We used to attract a bigger group of people in this thread, but I think most were chased off because they couldn't compete and/or were disgusted with the vulgar, scattalogical leanings in here.
My suggestion is to respond only to scenes you like, and only with responses that you feel good about.
Using a game as pretense to be mysoginistic, got it - I'm guessing racism is also cool if the prompt gives you room for it?
@Cool Chris, there's nothing wrong with the prompt itself - some of the replies though are sad.
-
just read a few of these posts and gotta say, it's really disappointing to see such clear misogyny displayed here. it's important to treat everyone with respect and dignity, regardless of gender. let's create an environment where everyone feels welcome and valued.
-
I thought this would be a fun game to play along with but don't you guys feel like some responses to this one are a bit misogynistic?
just read a few of these posts and gotta say, it's really disappointing to see such clear misogyny displayed here. it's important to treat everyone with respect and dignity, regardless of gender. let's create an environment where everyone feels welcome and valued.
Probably best you ignore this thread then because 90% of the responses to any of the scenes are those of a 16 year old boy living in 1985.
None of us here are bigots or hate women or racists.....it's literally just locker room banter. If you can't handle that or don't like it or whatever then it's up to you to avoid it. Not those of us who regularly have participated in this thread for a decade.
-
For overtime.
2 Wicked pornstars blow the captains. First to cum, looses in overtime.
"oooooHhhhHHHHH gO cHiEfS!!!"
Patrick Mahomes will no doubt be fastest of all the players in the NFL. ;) :) :) :) :)
-
I thought this would be a fun game to play along with but don't you guys feel like some responses to this one are a bit misogynistic?
just read a few of these posts and gotta say, it's really disappointing to see such clear misogyny displayed here. it's important to treat everyone with respect and dignity, regardless of gender. let's create an environment where everyone feels welcome and valued.
Probably best you ignore this thread then because 90% of the responses to any of the scenes are those of a 16 year old boy living in 1985.
None of us here are bigots or hate women or racists.....it's literally just locker room banter. If you can't handle that or don't like it or whatever then it's up to you to avoid it. Not those of us who regularly have participated in this thread for a decade.
that's fine.. i'll see myself out. just one question: what would jesus do?
-
I thought this would be a fun game to play along with but don't you guys feel like some responses to this one are a bit misogynistic?
just read a few of these posts and gotta say, it's really disappointing to see such clear misogyny displayed here. it's important to treat everyone with respect and dignity, regardless of gender. let's create an environment where everyone feels welcome and valued.
Probably best you ignore this thread then because 90% of the responses to any of the scenes are those of a 16 year old boy living in 1985.
None of us here are bigots or hate women or racists.....it's literally just locker room banter. If you can't handle that or don't like it or whatever then it's up to you to avoid it. Not those of us who regularly have participated in this thread for a decade.
that's fine.. i'll see myself out. just one question: what would jesus do?
Send me right to hell for inappropriate banter in an online chat room.
I'm not going to get into a philosophical or religious debate with you in a thread of an online forum.
-
I thought this would be a fun game to play along with but don't you guys feel like some responses to this one are a bit misogynistic?
Crude yes, misogynistic yes. The very nature of this scene is going to invite such responses. We used to attract a bigger group of people in this thread, but I think most were chased off because they couldn't compete and/or were disgusted with the vulgar, scattalogical leanings in here.
My suggestion is to respond only to scenes you like, and only with responses that you feel good about.
Using a game as pretense to be mysoginistic, got it - I'm guessing racism is also cool if the prompt gives you room for it?
@Cool Chris, there's nothing wrong with the prompt itself - some of the replies though are sad.
Respectfully, since you're talking about people's intents (which you can never really know) I think assuming it's a "pretense" to be misogynist is a leap, and a big one at that. One, as it's such a small aspect of the overall forum, if anyone here was really a misogynist, they wouldn't need the pretense of this particular thread.
I am primarily speaking only for myself, but I know others have tended to agree with me on this, intent DOES matter. I do not buy into the notion that "anything" that one person deems "bad" or "offensive" by definition MAKES it bad or offensive. I come from a family of matriarchs. My mom was a horse, in the best sense of the word; she was as strong as steel. Both of my wives were strong, capable women, and I'm proud of that fact (it's what attracted me to them to begin with). I have raised one and a half daughters (the "half" is my step daughter, who I've only known for about a third or so of her life) that I have encouraged at every step to grab the world by the balls and own it.
I haven't replied yet to this particular scene, but assuming I do, making a joke about a female stereotype doesn't all of a sudden make me a misogynist, and I'm CERTAINLY not seeking out opportunities to flex what you make sound like a hidden muscle.
-
I thought this would be a fun game to play along with but don't you guys feel like some responses to this one are a bit misogynistic?
just read a few of these posts and gotta say, it's really disappointing to see such clear misogyny displayed here. it's important to treat everyone with respect and dignity, regardless of gender. let's create an environment where everyone feels welcome and valued.
Probably best you ignore this thread then because 90% of the responses to any of the scenes are those of a 16 year old boy living in 1985.
None of us here are bigots or hate women or racists.....it's literally just locker room banter. If you can't handle that or don't like it or whatever then it's up to you to avoid it. Not those of us who regularly have participated in this thread for a decade.
that's fine.. i'll see myself out. just one question: what would jesus do?
The very question implies you think he would "agree with you", but there's as much scripture that says he was a tolerant, patient man that accepted us all at face value, in the totality of our being, so I'd like to think that he'd judge the rest of us by the totality of our "work" and not jump to conclusions based on 10 posts out of 100,000's on a music discussion board.
-
Ok gang. Not what I wanted to wake up to this morning.
Someone just start a new theme and let's move on.
-
I thought this would be a fun game to play along with but don't you guys feel like some responses to this one are a bit misogynistic?
just read a few of these posts and gotta say, it's really disappointing to see such clear misogyny displayed here. it's important to treat everyone with respect and dignity, regardless of gender. let's create an environment where everyone feels welcome and valued.
Probably best you ignore this thread then because 90% of the responses to any of the scenes are those of a 16 year old boy living in 1985.
None of us here are bigots or hate women or racists.....it's literally just locker room banter. If you can't handle that or don't like it or whatever then it's up to you to avoid it. Not those of us who regularly have participated in this thread for a decade.
that's fine.. i'll see myself out. just one question: what would jesus do?
Send me right to hell for inappropriate banter in an online chat room.
I'm not going to get into a philosophical or religious debate with you in a thread of an online forum.
This was a helluva lot funnier than any of the responses on this page.
-
Ok gang. Not what I wanted to wake up to this morning.
Someone just start a new theme and let's move on.
No need for a new theme…..but moving on is a great idea.
-
@stadler
I respectfully disagree that intent is enough to make this ok. Just because someone didn't mean to hurt anyone with an offensive joke doesn't automatically make it alright. Even if it's meant as a joke, it can still spread stereotypes and hurt people. I can't imagine many women feeling welcome if they open this thread and see that everyone's first association with a prompt about women is BJs and taking pants off. Being careful with our words matters, no matter what we meant. That's just my two cents and I'll bow out this thread and discussion from here on out because I have a sneaking suspicion everyone's mind is made up already anyway and we won't agree on this.
-
@stadler
I respectfully disagree that intent is enough to make this ok. Just because someone didn't mean to hurt anyone with an offensive joke doesn't automatically make it alright. Even if it's meant as a joke, it can still spread stereotypes and hurt people. I can't imagine many women feeling welcome if they open this thread and see that everyone's first association with a prompt about women is BJs and taking pants off. Being careful with our words matters, no matter what we meant. That's just my two cents and I'll bow out this thread and discussion from here on out because I have a sneaking suspicion everyone's mind is made up already anyway and we won't agree on this.
Being careful with your words is always wise. At the same time, forcing people to account for how every hypothetical person might interpret them, correctly or incorrectly, is highly destructive.
-
I thought this would be a fun game to play along with but don't you guys feel like some responses to this one are a bit misogynistic?
Mine was crude but anyone who has met me on the forum would tell you I am a kind, thoughtful person. This is a game, not real life. Like my scenario would ever happen.
-
@stadler
I respectfully disagree that intent is enough to make this ok. Just because someone didn't mean to hurt anyone with an offensive joke doesn't automatically make it alright. Even if it's meant as a joke, it can still spread stereotypes and hurt people. I can't imagine many women feeling welcome if they open this thread and see that everyone's first association with a prompt about women is BJs and taking pants off. Being careful with our words matters, no matter what we meant. That's just my two cents and I'll bow out this thread and discussion from here on out because I have a sneaking suspicion everyone's mind is made up already anyway and we won't agree on this.
I didn't say "intent makes it ok". I said "intent MATTERS". YOU ASSUMED right out the gate that this is all hate driven, and that's what I'm pushing back on. I'm asking you, please don't assume about me (and I would hope everyone else, but I can't speak for them).
I don't 100% know if this is offensive or not; one, it's not necessarily for me to decide, and two, I'm still learning about things that I never even knew were a "thing", and it's all a work in progress. Hopefully we're all a little bit better tomorrow than we were today. I would never want to make my female friends here uncomfortable, but I also have a level of faith that JUST because it has to do with "sex" or "BJs" that one, it may NOT make them uncomfortable, and two, that ultimately THEY can make the decision if it's something that makes them feel that way. I'm not here to tell them. From there, we can decide if the best course of action is for just one individual to stay away from the thread, or maybe the thread itself has to change for the benefit of all of us.
I do know, though, that the right answer is NOT an absolutely perfect, sterile environment catering to the lowest common denominator.
-
just read a few of these posts and gotta say, it's really disappointing to see such clear misogyny displayed here. it's important to treat everyone with respect and dignity, regardless of gender. let's create an environment where everyone feels welcome and valued.
Probably best you ignore this thread then because 90% of the responses to any of the scenes are those of a 16 year old boy living in 1985.
None of us here are bigots or hate women or racists.....it's literally just locker room banter. If you can't handle that or don't like it or whatever then it's up to you to avoid it. Not those of us who regularly have participated in this thread for a decade.
that's fine.. i'll see myself out. just one question: what would jesus do?
Did someone seriously just try to bible-shame ... Gary??
(https://media2.giphy.com/media/hvq8ONQhQ1XLq/giphy.gif)
I've seen plenty of situations of not knowing the audience, but this is next-level.
-
:lol
-
that's fine.. i'll see myself out. just one question: what would jesus do?
Hey you've gotta win a round before you get a turn!
-
that's fine.. i'll see myself out. just one question: what would jesus do?
Hey you've gotta win a round before you get a turn!
:lol
-
Yeah, the responses to the events of today have been a helluva lot funnier than this thread has been for years. :lol
-
For reals :lol
-
For overtime.
2 Wicked pornstars blow the captains. First to cum, looses in overtime.
The scene was to get more women interested in watching, not men! ;) :lol
****************
Instead of four replays after every first down, show locker room footage throughout of various players getting naked before the games.
For player info, always list name, number, school, height, weight, guesstimated penis size (when erect), marital status, and Zodiac sign.
Play better football.
-
Yeah, the responses to the events of today have been a helluva lot funnier than this thread has been for years. :lol
That's because we dearth of participation from you and Silent Ham.
that's fine.. i'll see myself out. just one question: what would jesus do?
Hey you've gotta win a round before you get a turn!
:lol
-
Every month is breast cancer month.
Alright fellas, let's end this. You're up TAC.
-
Jingle.boy - 74
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 30 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 18
Cool Chris - 18
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist - 8
Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, faizoff, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene..
Upon being told that Mike Portnoy was rejoining Dream Theater, Jesus said...
-
That's sexist. And funny.
Which is the point. It's a joke. Now what we believe. Congratulations Tim.
-
"For my dad's sake, don't let him sing."
-
“I’ve known that for almost two thousand years. I’m still waiting for someone to tell me what in ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ ‘whahibro pickingant’ means.”
-
Welp……time to go grab my sled and get down to hell……should be nice and froze by the time I get there.
-
- He wouldn't say anything, he'd just be cross.
- "Now that's a real miracle"
-
Do you think everyone will survive?
-
HOLY ASS AND BALLS!!!
-
Jesus : Father!
God : S'up son.
Jesus : Portnoy has rejoin Dream Theater. I must see them live, but I have no money - could I have an advance on my pocket money?
God : No son you've gotta earn your $. Why don't you do perform some of your 'miracles' for cash?
Jesus : Street magic has come on quite a way since I was last here, making fish ain't going to cut it anymore.
God : Sell your Frankincense?
Jesus : Can't sell scent unless it branded like Jimmy Choo or Coco Chanel.
God : Myrrh?
Jesus : It's 2023 and still no one knows what the hell Myrrh is.
God : Oh look here I've find a site online that'll buy all your unwanted Gold!
Jesus : Awesome! I'll do that, buy the tickets and round up a new bunch of disciples.
God : Any women disciples this time?
Jesus : Fuck no.
-
Michael, I expect our picture together on Facebook for my birthday.
-
"Who?"
-
"Shit, that means Neal Morse will have more time to bother me."
-
They need to replace James.
When are they coming to the Philippines?
-
“I feel like I’ve died and gone to Heaven!”
-
-They were better with Mangini...
-
I hope they play in Chile
-
"this will make for a great new bible book"
-
First this and now people keep asking me to get Styx and Dennis DeYoung back together... What do they think I am, a miracle worker?
-
Father forgive them for they know not what they do.....
-
what would jesus do?
Oh my
-
"That's not what I would do..." ;) :) :)
-
"don't make jokes about anything that might be slightly offensive"
-
“I feel like I’ve died and gone to Heaven!”
I’m going with this one!
Winnah!!
-
(Woot! Woot! I'll slip you a twenty under the table next weekend :D)
Jingle.boy - 74
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
Kinger- 31 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist - 8
Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, faizoff, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
(I might give this some extra time due to this being Labor Day weekend here)
Next scene.....
A song (or songs) you don't want to hear during your already uncomfortable one hour 'visit' with a dentist / dental hygienist.
-
AC/DC-Kicked In the Teeth
-
Windrose- Diggy Diggy Hole... bonus points if the dentist is under 5'5"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34CZjsEI1yU (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34CZjsEI1yU)
-
Alice Cooper-Unfinished Sweet
-
Van Halen - Poundcake
Pantera - Mouth For War
-
Judas Priest - Jawbreaker
-
Take Me - Kiss
The Seinfeld theme song.
-
You'll Be a Dentist - Steve Martin: Little Shop of Horrors
Suck My Kiss - Red Hot Chili Peppers
-
The Seinfeld theme song.
(https://y.yarn.co/7245619d-8ace-42cc-ba35-a664c5bc4a28_text.gif)
-
^
“Does that offend you as a Jew?”
“No, it offends me as a comedian.”
-
Exactly. Lol
-
I don't get it.
-
Those aren't buoys!
-
Double post.
Double Platinum! :metal
-
The Root (canal) of All Evil
-
The Root (canal) of All Evil
:lol
I like that!
-
A Nightmare to Remember
"It's a miracle he lived, it's a blessing no one died, by the grace of God above, everyone survived, UUHUUGUHHHHHH"
-
Strapping Young Lad - Relentless
-
The Jaws theme.
-
The Seinfeld theme song.
I think I was tucked.
-
Anarchy Club - Get Clean
Meshuggah - Bleed
-
Johnny Cash - Hurt
-
Orgasmatron - Motorhead
-
Goodbye Horses - Q Lazzarus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XV1AbomxueY
-
Orgasmatron - Motorhead
I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!! :lol
As much as I love Phil Taylor, Pete Gill is a steamroller on this.
-
1 pt for Jaws, Seinfeld, Poundcake, Jawbreaker and… ‘Unfinished Sweet’ is the ultimate. Crazy me actually listens to it frequently before dentist visits, and it’s my earworm while in the chair.
That said….I abhor cookie monster vocals, and the lyrics of this one fit the bill perfectly
Meshuggah - Bleed
That's gold, Vmadera00! Gold! ;)
-
(https://media.giphy.com/media/vvbGMpbhZMcHSsD50w/giphy.gif)
Jingle.boy - 74
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
Kinger- 31 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, faizoff, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next Scene:
Your neighbor is putting up his Halloween decoration on his front yard. To show him you don't like his decoration, you....
-
Buy a piece of plywood and put it in your front yard and paint....
THIS GUY'S DECORATIONS SUCK!
---------------------------------->>
-
Put his name, email, and address into every evangelical, Mormon, and Jehovas Witness website I can find so they can go to his house and show him the error of his ways.
Put up m Christmas lights... Thousands of them...
-
Take a crap in his front yard.
-
Get the flamethrower.
-
Put on a William Shatner mask and head to my knife drawer...
Take a dump in his pumpkin.
-
Can't participate. I like my neighbors and their Halloween decorations.
-
..Put a giant banner ..
Free decorations next door!
Take as many as you like, take them all, limited time offer!
-
Wear a Halloween mask….convince his wife you are him…..and sleep with her.
-
Oops, forgot to pick a winner
..Put a giant banner ..
Free decorations next door!
Take as many as you like, take them all, limited time offer!
Winner!
-
Sweet!
Jingle.boy - 74
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
Kinger- 31 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, faizoff - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
You perform a very mundane task that is now being turned into a movie or mini series.
What's it called?
You get bonus points for casting the right actor.
-
Fear the Shart... starring Amber Heard
-
What's on the Washing Line? - Starring Simon Pegg.
-
Marital Duties -- starring Chris Farley
-
Breakfast Feast and the Sausage Beast - Starring Guy Fieri.
-
Morning Nut Scratch...Starring Danny DeVito
-
Marital Duties -- starring Chris Farley
Mental image of him crashing through the coffee table in one of those Matt Foley sketches...
-
Where is my Bookmark? starring Abe Vigoda
-
The Landscaper Josie Wales - Clint Eastwood
The Gang That Couldn't Shit Straight (A Morning Dump) - Robert DeNiro
-
Contact - starring Sandy Duncan
-
Contact - starring Sandy Duncan
Oh, snap!!!! :)
-
Manscaping - My Tale of Accidental Circumcision
-
Hands in hot water - Bobcat Goldthwait.
-
Contact - starring Sandy Duncan
Oh, snap!!!! :)
You get me, you really get me! :biggrin:
-
My Solitary Night At The Theater-Paul Reubens
-
Stubbed my Toe - Jennifer Grey
Tripping Over Laundry - Michael J. Fox
Mad a Joke, No One Laughed - Drew Carey
Trimmin my Moustache - Geraldo Rivera
-
Put my Belt On, starring David Carridane
-
Oh my goodness gracious.
-
Being awesome - Charlie Sheen.
-
Takin my underwear off - with Kevin Spacey
-
Adventures in Babysitting - Starring Elizabeth Shue
-
Laundry (Nothing to Wear) - Scarlett Johansson
-
This has turned into a good round. Lot's of... shall we say "bold" suggestions! :) :) :)
-
Could you please pass the jelly? - starring TAC
-
Morning calisthenics - Ron Jeremy
-
Really solid entries, going to be very hard to pick. I'll pick in the evening.
-
Morning calisthenics - Ron Jeremy
He just does the helicopter. That's enough for him.
-
Bedtime Snacks and Stories - Michael Jackson
-
Could you please pass the jelly? - starring TAC
Morning calisthenics - Ron Jeremy
I think you guys have these confused..
-
All great entries, going to award points to some of my favorites and the winner takes 2 pts
DragonAttack - 1 pt
My Solitary Night At The Theater-Paul Reubens
jingle.boy - 1 pt
Trimmin my Moustache - Geraldo Rivera
Jamesman42 - 1 pt
Put my Belt On, starring David Carridane
gmillerdrake - 1 pt
Adventures in Babysitting - Starring Elizabeth Shue
Winner!
hefdaddy42 - 2 pts
Where is my Bookmark? starring Abe Vigoda
-
Ahem...
Winner announced. Its the hefster
-
Sorry!
Jingle.boy - 74
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
Kinger- 31 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
hefdaddy42 - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, faizoff - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
Rejected titles for the Rolling Stones' new album.
-
Hey, Those Are My Teeth
-
40 Cricks
You know. Because they are old.
-
Wheelchairs and Walkers
Ensure: The Sweet Taste of Life
Pressure: Variations in the Blood
Sand: The Stones have Been Rolled
-
Say no to drugs.
Sympathy for the Angels
-
Arthritic Fingers
-
Get off My Lawn Seats
-
Nukes, Cockroaches & The Rolling Stones.
-
Incontinence Rescue
-
Going Downhill
-
Split Pea Soup
-
Old Country Buffet Banquet.
Arthritic Fingers
Dang, came in to post that.
-
Arthritic Fingers
Dang, came in to post that.
:vomitard:
-
Hey Mccloud, get off of my ewe: A tribute album for Scotland.
-
Enema On Main Street
-
Good Time Charlie's Got The Blues
Rolling Stones No. 24882716
-
Bedazzled AED
-
This is going to be tough. Lots of submissions that made me come dangerously close to bursting out in laughter (in a work meeting right now).
-
Viagra Falls
Pill Caddie Conspiracy
-
Idle Rocks
Poon for Prunes
-
Exile from Assisted Living Facility.
-
:corn
-
Oh, crap.
-
Nukes, Cockroaches & The Rolling Stones.
Winner!
-
Bumpity Bump
-
Whoops, I didn't send King a message.
Hey, King!
-
(https://media.giphy.com/media/9SIXFu7bIUYHhFc19G/giphy.gif)
-
Whoops, I didn't send King a message.
Hey, King!
Whoops, I still didn't.
-
Sorry folks. This last 2 weeks have been a Whirlwind for the Callahan Family.
Jingle.boy - 74
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
Kinger- 32 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
hefdaddy42 - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, faizoff - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
You meet your favorite musician only to say the worst possible thing to him or her face to face and that is?
-
“I have a dear friend who thinks ‘Power Windows’ sucks and blows.”
-
James, you sound like shit.
-
Rick, I'd love to hear that left handed pattern..
-
James, you sound like shit.
Damn, and you can only read what I write.
-
So James, it took some time but I guess Mike Portnoy was right.
-
James, you sound like shit.
Brutal and fuck yeah. Winner.
-
Standings:
Jingle.boy - 75
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
Kinger- 32 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
hefdaddy42 - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, faizoff - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
Boy scout badges we've never heard of.
-
The Knowingeverysienfeldreference Badge
-
"I ranked 100 DT songs" badge
-
The Ibeatariichinaroulette Badge
-
Master Masturbater Badge (only earned after demonstration for Den Leaders)
Gaydar Certified
Human Field Dressing Badge - Apocalyptic Training Series
-
Best Molested Badge.
-
I shit my pants the most badge.
-
Embezzlement and Fraud Badge
My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad Patch
Spin The Bottle: Expert Edition Badge
Investing Stolen Lunch Money Badge
-
40,569 posts on DTF Badge
-
Never molested
-
Lycanthropy Badge
-
Brownie Eating
-
40,569 posts on DTF Badge
And 2 days later, you need a new badge.
Winner!
-
Standings:
Jingle.boy - 75
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
Kinger- 32 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 23
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
hefdaddy42 - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, faizoff - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 - 2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Next scene:
New Beatles song "Now And Then" on November 2nd; the working title was...
-
Portnoy And Mangini
-
This Song Can be a Pile of Shit but People Will Fawn Over It and Say It's the Fifth Gospel
-
Over / Rated
George and Ringo
The Devil Ono
-
Big Beatles fan are you, Gary? :) :) :) :) :) :)
-
Why and How?
Hey Hey We’re the Beatles
-
Keith and Mick Suck
-
Sucks And Blows
-
Somehow, Palpatine returned
-
Big Beatles fan are you, Gary? :) :) :) :) :) :)
:lol I appreciate the role they played in getting us to the music we have today.....I'll just leave it at that.
-
You and iPhone (That's how it feels, Steve!)
-
Yeah, John Really Was a Dick…
-
Ego's and Ho's
-
Milton Berle
-
Geritol & Laxatives
-
The Dim Twins.
-
Chapman's Got a Gun
.......too soon?
-
Sucks And Blows
:rollin
My offering:
What's The F*cking B-side?
(regardless....I'll buy it in a New York minute :tup)
-
She Came in Through the Hospice Window
-
When I’m Eighty One
Magical Titanic Tour in a Yellow Submarine
-
WAP (Cardi B cover)
-
Siegfried & Hemorrhoid.
-
Ass And Balls
-
Ringo and the stars
-
She Came in Through the Hospice Window
I'm calling it. That was a winner.
-
She Came in Through the Hospice Window
I'm calling it. That was a winner.
Now, that's how you kill a thread. Winner it may be (and I agree) but Indi isn't due to reappear on the forum until 2025. The clock restarted yesterday.
-
She Came in Through the Hospice Window
I'm calling it. That was a winner.
Now, that's how you kill a thread. Winner it may be (and I agree) but Indi isn't due to reappear on the forum until 2025. The clock restarted yesterday.
Yep....
-
She Came in Through the Hospice Window
I'm calling it. That was a winner.
Now, that's how you kill a thread. Winner it may be (and I agree) but Indi isn't due to reappear on the forum until 2025. The clock restarted yesterday. James is fired.
Fix’d. :biggrin:
I say give him the weekend, but then Stadler should award an alternate winner. (But Indi still earned the point).
-
Fair enough; I get that. If he doesn't pick one by, say Sunday, I'll let Podaar - for pointing that out - the option of selecting a new topic. I DID enjoy that title, though. It was a legit win.
-
It was a legit win.
Absolutely! Our blue-eyed crooner does have a marvelous wit.
-
You have a bad reputation
That's the word out on the town
It gives a certain fascination
But it can only bring you down
Evening gents, my pleasure
I liked "When I'm 81" very lot. Anyways, let's see if I can get a permaban at the tone ...
Mike Mangini's upcoming autobiography: title?
Turn yourself around, turn it upside down
-
A Dramatic Turn of Events :neverusethis:
-
A Man, A Genie, Mangini: What It's Like to Be a Sex Cymbal in the Progressive Metal World
-
I’m Not That Mike
-
My Body Is Not Ready
-
Dumped for the Ex Wife
-
Wasn't Fired
Astonishing!
Keeping seats warm since 2010.
-
When Your Time Has Come
-
That was fun. Now what?
-
I Didn’t Get a Press Release
Boobs and Crotch
-
I’m gone, but Indi is back.
-
Mike Mangini: Reach for the Toms.
-
The Mike who kept away from the mic.
-
Opulence…. I has it.
-
Converting any song on drums to 25/16
-
Somehow, Portnoy returned.
-
It’s true, Bug was always me.
-
Very good ones all around, but Bug cracked me up.
Go G.
-
Standings:
Jingle.boy - 75
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 35
Kinger- 32 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 23
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
hefdaddy42 - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, faizoff - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Indiscipline - 2
Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New scene: Rejected horror movie titles/idea/pitch.
Edit: Added the word titles in hopes of enticing additional responses, ie. Mister Roger's Neighborhood Chainsaw Massacre
-
"The Mohel Who Went Too Far." Self explanatory
-
A Dream Theater reunion with Kevin Moore.
-
TAC slasher film in the 2000's
-
TAC leaving carts strewn across the parking lot.
-
TAC leaving carts strewn across the parking lot.
Seriously, what a horror film.
-
TAC leaving carts strewn across the parking lot.
Seriously, what a horror film.
I've seen the trailer for that!
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/oJcZBYn5HKo
-
Chucky, Jason and Freddy Krueger get Halloween candy and watch Christmas movies.
-
Willie Nelson and Keith Richards and buddy cops. Working Title: Se7en-2
-
A Nightmare on Hill Street Blues
-
Night of the Living Ned
-
"Hello"ween - Michael Myers going at great length stalking people on Halloween night to simply tell them "Hello"
-
The Nightmare Before The Election - Dinner With Stadler
-
A Haunting of House of Pain of Salvation
-
The Nightmare Before The Election - Dinner With Stadler
(https://media.tenor.com/caB9EY_iaRcAAAAM/jim-carrey-scared.gif)
-
Interview with a Vampire Diary of a Wimpy Kid
-
An Evening with Radiohead
-
The Englishman who went up the hill But cam
The Adventures of Priscilla Presley, Queen of the Desert.
Too Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Newman.
-
I thought Chad grabbed this one right off the bat, but Stads made me shudder in horror while laughing with:
The Nightmare Before The Election - Dinner With Stadler
As much as I'm loath to concede anything to you, you're up Stadler.
-
Standings:
Jingle.boy - 75
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 35
Kinger- 32 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
Stadler - 24
TempusVox - 23
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
hefdaddy42 - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, faizoff - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Indiscipline - 2
Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New scene: I'm in Florida this week: things you definitely do not want to see old people doing.
-
Running our Country
-
And I believe we can already give gmillerdrake this bout
-
Anything that might result in "jiggling"
-
Rubbing baby oil on each other.
-
Hosting a lemon party
-
Driving
-
Mosh pit.
-
Walking their alligator in a park.
-
Taking a goatse picture.
*waits for TAC to azk*
-
Taking a goatse picture.
(https://previews.123rf.com/images/ramann/ramann1905/ramann190500733/123107035-a-very-old-man-in-messy-clothes-is-sitting-on-a-stool-in-the-yard-of-an-old-farm-and-holding-a-white.jpg)
-
Going streaking in the quad
-
Sharing teeth.
-
Dropping their pants to let the wind on the beach spray water into their anus and then hang crabs on their nipples. I hate it here.
-
Pole vaulting
-
Tending gardens
Making common sense.
<#couldntresist>
-
Using emojis.
-
Recording dance moves to post on Tik Tok
-
Using emojis.
"Oh really?! I thought it was soft-serve, chocolate ice cream..."
-
Tending gardens
Making common sense.
<#couldntresist>
:lol
-
Using emojis.
"Oh really?! I thought it was soft-serve, chocolate ice cream..."
:lol 👍
-
Hosting a lemon party
I don't really know what a lemon party is, but I'll take it.
-
Hosting a lemon party
I don't really know what a lemon party is, but I'll take it.
Well you probably shouldn't google it (https://knowyourmeme.com/editorials/guides/what-is-lemon-party-and-why-should-you-not-google-it) :biggrin:
-
Hosting a lemon party
I don't really know what a lemon party is, but I'll take it.
Well you probably shouldn't google it (https://knowyourmeme.com/editorials/guides/what-is-lemon-party-and-why-should-you-not-google-it) :biggrin:
Wait.. does this mean I won?
-
Hosting a lemon party
I don't really know what a lemon party is, but I'll take it.
Well you probably shouldn't google it (https://knowyourmeme.com/editorials/guides/what-is-lemon-party-and-why-should-you-not-google-it) :biggrin:
Wait.. does this mean I won?
Yes, please.
-
Standings:
Jingle.boy - 75
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 35
Kinger- 32 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
Stadler - 24
TempusVox - 23
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
hefdaddy42 - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, faizoff - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Indiscipline - 2
Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New scene: You meet a famous person and try to start a conversation, however everything you say comes out in toddler speak.
-
Hi Mr. President, you are stinky farthead. (Apply this to which president you want)
-
Pretty much any conversation I'd have with Margot Robbie. Where do you want me to start?
-
I'll sit this one out. I didn't even use toddler speak with my kids when they were toddlers.
-
Hi Mr. President, you are stinky farthead. (Apply this to which president you want)
The winner by default, no one wants to talk like a toddler. Next time I'll make it a pornstar.
-
Yo! The best presents is presence!
Standings:
Jingle.boy - 75
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 35
Kinger- 32 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
Stadler - 24
TempusVox - 23
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
hefdaddy42 - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking, Jamesman - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, faizoff - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Indiscipline - 2
Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New scene: Things you shouldn't say if a cannibal kidnaps you.
-
Bite me.
-
I’ve got a can of fava beans and a nice Chianti in my pack. Just take them!
-
Is that Chianti?
<damn… Gregg beat me to it!>
-
Is that Chianti?
<damn… Gregg beat me to it!>
Ha ha, you posted that while I was editing my text.
-
Is that Chianti?
<damn… Gregg beat me to it!>
Ha ha, you posted that while I was editing my text.
Damn you… the Chianti bit was NOT in your first post. :getoffmylawn:
-
I’m keeping it though since I thought of it myself :P
-
I feel great after soaking in that tub of warm almond milk all night last night.
-
Sorry, just feeling a little salty today.
-
So I've really been having a lot of luck with my new diet of corn, barley and oats.
-
Dinner's on me!
-
‘I really enjoy it when someone goes down on me.’
-
You know what pairs well with me? Freedom.
-
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.
-
Do you think you could drive a little more cautiously please? All this shaking and bumping is really making my muscles tender
-
Sure, I'd love to see your and your brother's secret holy place.
-
So I've really been having a lot of luck with my new diet of corn, barley and oats.
This one made me chuckle more than everything else and is the winner, Indiscipline was close in 2nd place.
-
So I've really been having a lot of luck with my new diet of corn, barley and oats.
This one made me chuckle more than everything else and is the winner, Indiscipline was close in 2nd place.
Did anyone get the hidden meaning?
(That's what they feed lambs. The Silence of the Lambs? Hannibal Lector?)
Yo! The best presents is presence!
Standings:
Jingle.boy - 75
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 35
Kinger- 32 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
Stadler - 25
TempusVox - 23
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
hefdaddy42 - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking, Jamesman - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, faizoff - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Indiscipline - 2
Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New scene: Things you shouldn't say to your child's teacher.
-
Listen, I know that you have a degree in your field, which some people take to mean that you have some expertise, but I am a member in good standing of Zion Progressive Primitive Baptist Apostolic Church.
-
Did you tell my son you'd show his father your ass?
-
He's allowed to text me during your class, I said so.
-
A for anal?
-
But did you stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night?
We don't teach "New Science", do we?
-
Is there anything Ican do for 'extra credit'?
Now that you've crossed my eyes....you mind if I dot those T's?
-
My son said you had an nice ass. You didn't disappoint.
-
Sure wouldn’t mind receiving some private, corporal punishment?
That outfit you’re wearing gave me an immediate detention
-
I'd like to double space your margins.
-
So........do you like Dream Theater?
After meeting you I can see why my son is always happy to stay back for detention. Room for one more?
-
*gasp* Junior said you were fat, but good lord woman, you're like a carnival attraction. And maybe shave a gap between your eyebrows. Still, you don't sweat much.
-
*gasp* Junior said you were fat, but good lord woman, you're like a carnival attraction. And maybe shave a gap between your eyebrows. Still, you don't sweat much.
Haha. Win.
-
Thanks, Stads!
Standings:
Jingle.boy - 75
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 36
Kinger- 32 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
Stadler - 25
TempusVox - 23
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
hefdaddy42 - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking, Jamesman - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, faizoff - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Indiscipline - 2
Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New scene: What Alfred does in the BatCave™ while Batman is away.
-
Makes porn.. Bat Porn...
-
He masterBATes
-
Cleans up guano.
-
Works on his Gangsta rap album
-
Plans his new move as the Joker.
-
Films his Only Fans with Robin
-
Posts on DTF as "TAC".
-
Crafts guano pottery to sell at local flea markets
-
Keeps working on his tell-all book, spending a lot of time on the chapters on his time training with Bruce Lee.
-
Posts on DTF as "TAC".
;D
-
He puts on the Bat Girl outfit.
-
Hosts lemon parties.
-
Binge drinks and ugly cries while regretting having become a codependent to a loony who dresses in a bat suit.
-
Sits and ponders if Mike Mangini was fired or not.
Trolls on DTF under multiple accounts.
-
Sends his application form for a suddenly available teaching job in China
-
Then realises the Bat Cave actually has incredible internet speed.
-
And devours a Fish Filet in jubilation
-
And devours a Fish Filet in jubilation
No wonder Alfred hides in the Bat Cave.
-
Writes bombastic Italian operas ... occasionally assisted by ChatGPT.
Practices his bunker game.
-
Repeatedly shouts "echo..."
-
Some really great entries, guys. Snow Dog and lonestar got me good with the simple, obvious responses. The Kade and Alex show got some laughs. Chad worked the "know thy audience" angle. Ultimately, Gary's weird, venue appropriate entry got the biggest most sustained laugh.
Crafts guano pottery to sell at local flea markets
Winner!
-
Hosts lemon parties.
STILL don't know what a lemon party is. ;)
-
I had not heard of it till I saw it here a couple rounds ago.
-
Thanks Gregg!
Standings:
Jingle.boy - 75
gmillerdrake - 55
Podaar - 36
Kinger- 32 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
Stadler - 25
TempusVox - 23
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
hefdaddy42 - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking, Jamesman - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, faizoff - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Indiscipline - 2
Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New scene: Compliments that aren’t so ‘complimentary’
-
Your body odor isn't so paralyzing today...
-
I had not heard of it till I saw it here a couple rounds ago.
I know! And I called it a winner!!! :)
-
"Your intelligence is at the top of the bell curve."
-
You don't sweat much for a fat guy.
-
You're not as dumb as you look
-
Your outfit is so nice! My grandfather wore the same thing 30 years ago.
-
That was the best two and a half minutes of sex I've ever had.
Wow, you are the most organized hoarder I've ever seen.
-
I was so glad to hear you aren't beating your wife anymore.
-
Wow, nice power metal collection.
-
Of course you're the first man I've slept with, all the others kept me up all night
-
Honey, you're such a good driver ... almost like a man.
-
Your pottery doesn't smell nearly as repulsive as last week.
-
I'm as excited for your return to the band as I was for your departure.
-
It's perfect honey... The big ones hurt....
-
Oh, bless your heart…
Nice, you didn’t load the dishwasher as horribly as last time…
-
Honey, your ass doesn't look as big in those jeans as I thought they would.
-
I like how you don't care how you look.
-
Good lord you guys are making this round impossible to judge…..there’s a legit four or five winners so far.
I’ll let this go until tomorrow, but man….. :rollin
-
Your butt does a great job maximizing the available space in that chair.
-
Hey, what a great lag! It all but went in.
-
We definitely can't imagine the band without Mike on drums.
-
Other than the speed and the line, that was a great putt.
Your contributions to this project have been plentiful, and as useful as a mint flavored suppository.
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It's perfect honey... The big ones hurt....
Haha.
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There were quite a few good ones in this batch....but alas.....I gotta hand it over to RJ as this phrase has probably stung plenty o' men.....
It's perfect honey... The big ones hurt....
You're up RJ :tup
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Wow...been a few years since I got a Win here...thanks Gary...
Standings:
Jingle.boy - 75
gmillerdrake - 55
Podaar - 36
Kinger- 32 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 26
Stadler - 25
TempusVox - 23
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
hefdaddy42 - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking, Jamesman - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, faizoff - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Indiscipline - 2
Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
New Scene- Rejected Campbell's Soup Flavors
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Wet Ass Pussy
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Roadkill Jum Bolia
Yeast Infection Slurry
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Finger Tips & Skin Graft Porridge
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Prawn Cocktail.
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McDonald's Bic Mac sauce soup.
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Duck Butter
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The Shocker
Maple Bacon Burbon
Wasabi
Camel toe
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Oprah Winfrey's Chicken Nude-le Soup
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Pearl Jam
Ass'n'balls
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Cream of Tush
Cream of Brussel Sprouts
Chicken Gizzards and Noodles…low sodium
Cow Tongue Broth
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Chucky Curdles
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Mucas Plug Broth
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Nice Greasy Pork Sandwich Served In A Dirty Ashtray
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Ass'n'balls
For the Chunky soup line
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Cold Dead Heart
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Tim's Cranky Home Style Sucks and Blows Turkey Limp Noodle Soup.
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Children Tears
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Children Tears
Enemy Tears
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Duck Butter
I thought that said "Dick Butter".
My answer: "Dick Butter". ;)
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Duck Butter
I thought that said "Dick Butter".
Not a typo…Duck Butter is even worse, for those in the know of its definition…
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Duck Butter
I thought that said "Dick Butter".
Not a typo…Duck Butter is even worse, for those in the know of its definition…
That's because Stadler only knows Dick Butter. ;D
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Larks tongues in aspic.
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Soy Lentil Green
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Wet Ass Pussy
Sounds like a flavour I'd totally try.
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Lube in the Face.
Our new Campbells Soup Lube in the Face flavour adds extra cream and a little salt for that softer, silker texture that goes down the hatch super smooth leaving you wanting more every time.
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First off, fuck off to whoever made me google duck butter.
Soy Lentil Green was so close for the brilliant play on words, but for some reason this one got the biggest chuckle, even though I think he meant Chunky, Chucky even made it funnier. You're up Chad.
Chucky Curdles
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First off, fuck off to whoever made me google duck butter.
Soy Lentil Green was so close for the brilliant play on words, but for some reason this one got the biggest chuckle, even though I think he meant Chunky, Chucky even made it funnier. You're up Chad.
Chucky Curdles
TYPO for the win! :fistpump:
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Standings:
Jingle.boy - 76
gmillerdrake - 55
Podaar - 36
Kinger- 32 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 26
Stadler - 25
TempusVox - 23
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
hefdaddy42 - 12
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, VMadera - 8
Zydar, El Barto, wolfking, Jamesman - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, faizoff - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, XJDenton - 3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Indiscipline - 2
Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1
Things you can say about a bad movie/TV show, but not about your partner.
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Well, that was some wasted time that I’ll never get back…
It’s so bad, it’s almost good!
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I can't believe I waited in line for this.
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You call that acting??
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That makeup looks so fake.
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I came halfway through and had to stay until the end.
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First off, fuck off to whoever made me google duck butter.
:blush :lol
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First off, fuck off to whoever made me google duck butter.
:blush :lol
It's even worse that I've actually made duck butter (fois gras butter) many times.
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I wish it would've lasted longer
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I prefer to watch a newer version with younger participants.
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Not bad for a sequel
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I came halfway through and had to stay until the end.
I usually just walk out! :lol
Winner! You’re up, Jimbo.