<it has to be done>
Dr.: Drop your shorts and bend over.
Me: No...we don't have to, I mean, maybe I just haven't been doing enough calisthenics...you know, my kidneys feel a lot better now, maybe if I just bent over like this every morning...... Moon Riiiver. Whew...ever serve time, Doc?
Dr.: Breathe easy.
Me: Yeah...breathe easy... Ahh!! Using the whole fist, Doc?!
<sorry, you were just asking for it! Ok, on to the original material now>
Cancer risk? No I'm not... but my pal Hef told me you give him the most delicious colonoscopy last week. So, that's why I'm here. Ready to hit pay dirt?
You're never gonna believe this doc... million to one shot. Million to one. Ever do fusilli art?
Any changes since my last checkup? I've been having these weird hallucinations every so often. Why, just last week a rooster told me that Dwight Gooden walked 88 batters in '96. And you know what? HE WAS RIGHT!
Is it weird that I find myself sobbing uncontrollably at the acting masterpiece that Kurt Russell delivers in Big Trouble in Little China?