The DT11 drummer will be revealed at the first show.
The record will be released, and the name of the drummer will be left off, leaving all of us in amazement. Nevertheless, we all realize that the mystery drummer is quite good, perhaps even better than MP. He will be technical, emotional, and articulate. We will be debating amongst ourselves whether or not this drummer is actually a step forward for the band. We'll have polls, arguments, people banned left and right. We will argue about MP's postion outside of Dream Theater, being sure to overanalyze each and every interview he participates in, being sure to interpret everything in a negative light. Will MP be the next Kevin Moore, or will he retain his respect among fans?
Amidst the calamity, tour dates suddenly appear on the DT website. It is announced that the new drummer will be joining them on stage at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame concert, an honor which they attain when Billboard places DT11 at the number 1 slot. Within days of the announcement, the seats are completely booked.
The big day arrives. Some fans are already there, camped outside the theater like a bunch of Halo 3 fanboys. By sundown, the area is completely packed. Cars litter the street like the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Even some poor DTFers who didn't get tickets fast enough are content with hearing the music's faint echo half a mile away. A bright day, but a sad day. The world watches on.
At long last, the lights of the grand stage dim. Shouts of ecstasy rumble the very earth itself. A faint but growing silver light beams down at a velvet curtain. The four crisp silhouettes we know oh so well can be seen, but the fifth is blurred beyond recognition.
Like a winding snake, the majestic curtain gently falls to the ground to the sound of the familiar hum to the intro of Metropolis. Screams fill the air in fervent desire as they behold their idols: John Petrucci, sporting his spiked hair and goatee of antiquity; Jordan Rudess, showing his brilliant white teeth in a wide grin; John Myung, as Asian as ever; Captain James Sparrow, mike stand in his left hand and shovel in his right....but alas! Our mystery drummer is still hidden behind a thick cloud of smoke! Fans sigh in beautiful agony, but the band marches on.
As the song winds to its conclusion, with one last exasperation of "eternity," the Captain turns to the crowd. As the sound of his comforting voice resounds the night, the world falls into silence.
"Ladies and gentlemen, how are we dooiiiin'?!!!! Excellent. Tonight is an especially special night. Yeah. We have had the honor and priviledge of working with the world's most technical, creative, and imaginitive drummer for our newest record, Rocktavarium. Ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you....
MIKE PORTNOY ON DRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMS! By the way, be sure to pick up a copy of my newest solo record, Static Impulse, as you leave the auditorium."
*Mike Portnoy, please come back...