Just got back from Empire strikes back, or was it return of the jedi? Hard to tell since it incorporated some many parts from both.
What the hell was that? seriously. Do something original. It didn't bother me all that much that TFA followed so many of ANH's story beats, but I really want nothing to do with it this time around.
Alright so here we go:
I loved snoke. Wasn't all that impressed with him in TFA, but here in person, I was captivated. He really came off a someone not to be screwed with, and I LOVED when he was on screen, which made me shocked beyond words when he died. I loved the character so I was sad to see him go, BUT I respect a bold move like that. My major complaint was that Snoke has NO development. Who the hell is he? Why is he all messed up looking.
seriously, how can someone with the power and influence of the emperor just show up. Like this guy just showed up out of nowhere? And I'm gonna tell you right now, there is NO WAY the emperor would have let someone that powerful just wander around. He would have killed him or had him under his command.
On to the next complaint. The hour long SLOW speed pursuit. This is really insane. At least in the original version of Empire strikes back, we had that kick ass pursuit of the falcon, out maneuvering the empire, weaving in and out of asteroids, then outsmarting the empire. Something like that is cool. But now in the new Return of the empire jedi film I just watched, we get that laughable slow speed pursuit. Out of range? What? So there's no tiny fighters or BOMBERS that could fly up to the capital ships and take out their engines? This whole scenario was really bad and lame writing.
Luke's "training" was super underwhelming. Those scenes could have been tightened up or at the very least, he could have actually trained her. His not training her made it all feel like a waste.
So Finn and Rose just happen to be into a prison cell with a guy that not only can break out at ANY moment, but has the EXACT skills needed that they came to the planet for. The whole casino planet sequence felt like I was watching the prequels honestly.
I thought the Luke projection thing was pretty cool, but I would have liked to see more of a fight between Kylo and luke. It didn't have to be overboard or anything, but just give me a little bit more. Luke just letting himself die at the end was a real let down to me. I waited two years to watch Luke in action, but he really did almost nothing the whole film. Honestly most of what luke did felt out of character.
So phasma shows up for a hot minute JUST to get beat again and fall away. She is basically Team Rocket at this point.
So rey comes from nothing, but yet is Super OP, is a master pilot with no training, rivals and bests an Heir of vader, with no training? I let all that go in TFA because I thought she was someone of importance.
Kylo with Knights of ren in the rain from TFA. So that no longer happened? I was under the impression that Kylo along with knights of ren destroyed the jedi temple mach 2. Now, he as a student brings the roof down on luke and then just goes and starts murdering? I just don't get it.
Ok, the stuff I like:
1. First space battle was tight and gave me goosebumps
2. Snoke was incredible
3. The snoke throne room scene, surprise death and Rey and kylo teaming up against the royal guards may have been one of the most badass moments in any star wars movie. Mother of god, it was awesome.
4. I find Hux very entertaining. Don't know why, I just really like that character.
5. Poe is cool as always
Overall, I would describe The Last Jedi as a hot steaming turd, that had some sparkling diamonds sticking out of it. I really wanted to say this is my least favorite SW film, but alas, Attack of the clones still exists, so oh well. I hated TLJ, but Loved TFA though.