Author Topic: The pathetic facebook status thread. (Read 304186 times)

Jamesman42 · « **Reply #2520 on:** February 23, 2011, 07:28:30 AM »

Not pathetic, but this status made me laugh (this guy always has funny updates):

"True friends are like butt cheeks... Crap may come between them, but they always come back together."

Sigz · « **Reply #2521 on:** February 27, 2011, 02:53:47 PM »

SPNKr · « **Reply #2522 on:** February 27, 2011, 03:12:01 PM »

^She got told all right.

Fuzzboy · « **Reply #2523 on:** February 27, 2011, 03:28:00 PM »

Awesome

Phantasmatron · « **Reply #2524 on:** February 27, 2011, 03:43:36 PM »

I came here to post a status from a friend of mine who I used to have a pretty hard crush on. Her status was something about being sick of men OH WAIT I MEAN IMMATURE LITTLE BOYS. Nothing I could have posted would have been nearly so epic or so perfect as that last one, Sigz.

Thanks for stealing my thunder.

Orbert · « **Reply #2525 on:** February 27, 2011, 09:24:09 PM »

Quote from: Sigz on February 27, 2011, 02:53:47 PM

sniff. That was beautiful.

lonestar · « **Reply #2526 on:** February 27, 2011, 09:35:42 PM »

Justice=Served

lonestar · « **Reply #2527 on:** February 27, 2011, 09:54:06 PM »

Quote from: ScioPath on February 22, 2011, 07:09:43 PM

Well, after hours of in-depth literary analysis, this is what I've managed to decipher:

My life seems to be improving, seeing as I often suffer from chronic fits of identity loss. While, as I am only human, have moments of physical and emotional compromise, I have several redeeming qualities that label me as a respectable person. I subscribe to a certain ‘ethics code,’ if you will, that pledges a covenant of confidentiality amongst any two or more parties bound by friendship. Undesignated communication and/or distribution of/about information regarding a bound party may render the contract void. Breech of this covenant, (by means of pushing a button or otherwise,) will result in termination of said established pledge and acquaintance. Now, seeing that the basic model for those seeking a platonic relationship with myself has been established, I propose that I, in fact, do embrace tightly my deep affection for those abiding people who I consider close to me. People uninvolved in this assemblage are not subject to the ‘ethics code,’ however are subject to intrapersonal gradation. I maintain that “Existence is but a fair bargain, whilst personal deceit meets conviction.”

Quotes:

Akeyliah: I send my greetings fair lover.

Unspecified Character: How doth thee fare, my fairest Akeyliah?

Akeyliah: So do I continue to fare, yet I fear my strength to do so will soon be exhausted.

UC: Worry not, for thy arms are the wings of angels, thy breast that of a peaceful morning lark; you shall find solace in tranquility, my love.

Akeyliah: With such alacrity do thy woo me? Have you no restraint? Dearest little shwatie, you drive me to discomfort with your haste.

UC: Oh, but what is to be if being is contained?

Akeyliah: Existence is but a fair bargain, whilst deceit meets conviction.

UC: O’ Father, O’ Mother, what I’d do for you belittles who'd die for your heart. My baby girl, my hazel fleshed goddess; I inquire of thee, do bear my fateful plea. Do not fall swift into the dank charade of pretentiousness.

Scio, you sir, are a fucking god.

Occasional_Madman · « **Reply #2528 on:** February 27, 2011, 10:03:54 PM »

Quote from: Sigz on February 27, 2011, 02:53:47 PM

DarkLord_Lalinc · « **Reply #2529 on:** February 27, 2011, 10:09:16 PM »

Quote from: Orbert on February 27, 2011, 09:24:09 PM

Quote from: Sigz on February 27, 2011, 02:53:47 PM

sniff. That was beautiful.

That man stepped up and did what many of us can't.

Ace.

Jirpo · « **Reply #2530 on:** February 28, 2011, 03:20:14 AM »

Did she say anything back to that? haha

tri.ad · « **Reply #2531 on:** February 28, 2011, 04:28:45 AM »

Eh, this post is kind of a double-edged sword...

Orbert · « **Reply #2532 on:** February 28, 2011, 08:03:36 AM »

I applaud the guy for confessing all that and taking one for the team, showing how girls can be dicks just as much as guys. But it also sounds to me like he was infatuated and clueless, and possibly still is, and she's happy to take advantage of that. She's still a dick (or more anatomically correctly, a cunt) but he did make it pretty easy for her. Three years of this shit and he still feels wounded. Time to move on, dude.

Chino · « **Reply #2533 on:** February 28, 2011, 08:43:34 AM »

All that guy did was make himself look like a pussy.

Sigz · « **Reply #2534 on:** February 28, 2011, 08:44:09 AM »

Quote from: Orbert on February 28, 2011, 08:03:36 AM

I applaud the guy for confessing all that and taking one for the team, showing how girls can be dicks just as much as guys. But it also sounds to me like he was infatuated and clueless, and possibly still is, and she's happy to take advantage of that. She's still a dick (or more anatomically correctly, a cunt) but he did make it pretty easy for her. Three years of this shit and he still feels wounded. Time to move on, dude.

Definitely what I was thinking.

ClairvoyantCat · « **Reply #2535 on:** February 28, 2011, 08:47:55 AM »

"23 people like this"

...

Quote from: Orbert on February 28, 2011, 08:03:36 AM

I applaud the guy for confessing all that and taking one for the team, showing how girls can be dicks just as much as guys. But it also sounds to me like he was infatuated and clueless, and possibly still is, and she's happy to take advantage of that. She's still a dick (or more anatomically correctly, a cunt) but he did make it pretty easy for her. Three years of this shit and he still feels wounded. Time to move on, dude.

Toby is a fearless cunt slayer. Just because he posted this doesn't mean he feels wounded. More so, probably he just didn't give a shit about her anymore and decided to post this. It's not like he was looking for sympathy from her, I mean, he called her a dick.

tri.ad · « **Reply #2536 on:** February 28, 2011, 08:49:57 AM »

Quote from: Orbert on February 28, 2011, 08:03:36 AM

I applaud the guy for confessing all that and taking one for the team, showing how girls can be dicks just as much as guys. But it also sounds to me like he was infatuated and clueless, and possibly still is, and she's happy to take advantage of that. She's still a dick (or more anatomically correctly, a cunt) but he did make it pretty easy for her. Three years of this shit and he still feels wounded. Time to move on, dude.

Exactly this. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Orbert · « **Reply #2537 on:** February 28, 2011, 11:42:00 AM »

Quote from: dtismajesty on February 28, 2011, 08:47:55 AM

Toby is a fearless cunt slayer. Just because he posted this doesn't mean he feels wounded. More so, probably he just didn't give a shit about her anymore and decided to post this. It's not like he was looking for sympathy from her, I mean, he called her a dick.

Yeah, but it took him three years to figure it out. She totally dissed him on the Year 8 Valentine's Day shit, successfully ditched him at a dance in Year 9, and he still bought her the concert tickets in Year 10? He finally grew a pair and told her off, which is great. But upon reexamining the timeline of events, it did take quite a while for them to drop.

DarkLord_Lalinc · « **Reply #2538 on:** February 28, 2011, 11:54:32 AM »

Better late than never. Good for him.

Orbert · « **Reply #2539 on:** February 28, 2011, 11:59:37 AM »

Ha ha, yeah. Now he can go out and slay some.

Sir GuitarCozmo · « **Reply #2540 on:** February 28, 2011, 09:39:38 PM »

Regarding the recent "raise awareness of child abuse by changing your avatar" campaign:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yIlX5ZKHRU

SPNKr · « **Reply #2541 on:** February 28, 2011, 09:50:28 PM »

^Ah boy. And when I read your post I was like "I am aware of child abuse" and then I watched the vid. Good stuff by Maddox, again.

orcus116 · « **Reply #2542 on:** February 28, 2011, 10:31:50 PM »

Quote from: Orbert on February 28, 2011, 08:03:36 AM

I applaud the guy for confessing all that and taking one for the team, showing how girls can be dicks just as much as guys. But it also sounds to me like he was infatuated and clueless, and possibly still is, and she's happy to take advantage of that. She's still a dick (or more anatomically correctly, a cunt) but he did make it pretty easy for her. Three years of this shit and he still feels wounded. Time to move on, dude.

Bingo. This one guy I know, almost 30, was obsessed with a girl I know in that same fashion, though she didn't really use him or anything she just kept politely refusing to the point where she had to start getting mouthy because he wasn't getting the picture. We had a going away party for him and two other friends and he spent the first half ranting about her, calling her a cunt and whatnot then spent the last half crying about her when she showed up. He still tries to talk to her even after she clearly wants nothing to do with him and he feels offended.

So when I read that post I couldn't help but shake my head and hope that kid figures life the fuck out before he turns into that almost 30 year old I know.

Gorille85 · « **Reply #2543 on:** February 28, 2011, 10:36:26 PM »

He could've sound less desperate. Like stopping after the first "year" he's talking about. And if she's not intereted, that missed the point.

MetalJunkie · « **Reply #2544 on:** March 01, 2011, 01:53:49 AM »

Lynxo · « **Reply #2545 on:** March 01, 2011, 05:11:12 AM »

That's awesome.

tri.ad · « **Reply #2546 on:** March 01, 2011, 06:29:04 AM »

at the "censoring".

Chino · « **Reply #2547 on:** March 01, 2011, 07:07:04 AM »

@ Sid

Orbert · « **Reply #2548 on:** March 01, 2011, 11:58:27 AM »

Ha ha, that's right. The toys "revealed" themselves to Sid, but never to Andy.

Chino · « **Reply #2549 on:** March 02, 2011, 06:37:17 PM »

"Spending the night in the ER. Just the way I wanted to spend my Wednesday."

Way to make everyone ask you why, dumb bitch. "Just the way I wanted to spend my Wednesday nite"... I guess she enjoys spending other nights of the week in the ER.

DarkLord_Lalinc · « **Reply #2550 on:** March 02, 2011, 06:59:36 PM »

Quote from: Guitarded on March 01, 2011, 01:53:49 AM

Arch Benemy · « **Reply #2551 on:** March 08, 2011, 04:31:53 AM »

"if i told you the truth i swear i drive better High and tipsy"

Why would you put that on Facebook? Just why?

blackngold29 · « **Reply #2552 on:** March 08, 2011, 01:53:41 PM »

Maybe they were high and tipsy?

Chino · « **Reply #2553 on:** March 08, 2011, 01:54:48 PM »

and driving.

Ultimetalhead · « **Reply #2554 on:** March 08, 2011, 08:09:03 PM »

"It's been a little over 3 months, and the arrow still stuck. It hurt at first, but I've built a tolerance for pain. I love you, Sam. Know that."

Oh yeah, that's a guy. Sam's the girl.

News: Paralyzed official video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7m7l8iqGAk

Author Topic: The pathetic facebook status thread. (Read 304186 times)