The Truth about The Count of Tuscany

[Mosh]

It is about SYSTEMATIC CHAOS

Several years ago In a foreign town
Far away from home I met the Count of Tuscany
A young eccentric man bred from royal blood
Took me for a ride across the open countryside Let's ignore the foreign town part. And the far away from home part.

Systematic Chaos was recorded several years before. Count Of Tuscany really means Systematic Chaos. It was a young eccentric album, it was all brand new material, and didn't follow a certain idea or concept like previous albums. It was the first of that type since Falling Into Infinity.

It was bred from royal blood as in it was written by Dream Theater.
It took the listener for a ride, the open countryside meaning the listener had no clue what each song would bring, every track a new surprise.

Get into my car, let's go for a drive
Along the way I'll be your guide, just step inside

Meaning that the narrator (In this case John Petrucci) wants the listener to hear this album

Maybe you'll recall a cannibal curator
A character inspired by my brother's life

...is talking about Repentance. It is a song inspired by Mike Portnoy's personal life.


Winding through the hills, city far behind
As the album goes on, it gets more and more odd, even for a DT album.

On and on we drove down narrow streets and dusty roads

Some of the songs aren't that good. (I.E. Prophets of War)

At last we came upon a picturesque estate
On sprawling emerald fields, an ancient world of times gone by

This is talking about Repentance again. It is more familiar because it is another part of the 12 Step Suite.

Let me introduce my brother
A bearded gentleman, historian
Sucking on his pipe, distinguished accent
Making me uptight, no accident

With the arrival of Repentance, it is time to introduce Mike Portnoy... he is a creepy guy.

I wanna stay alive
Everything about this place just doesn't feel right
I, I don't wanna die
Suddenly I'm frightened for my life
I wanna say goodbye
This could be the last time you see me alive
I, I may not survive
Knew it from the moment we arrived


This album is too much for the listener to handle. He wants to forget about its existence, or it might affect his being a fan of DT, or worse, it might kill him.

Would you like to see our secret holy place?
I come here late at night to pray to him by candlelight

This is referring to In The Presence of Enemies, it is the album's centerpiece, and should be worshiped as such.

Then peering through the glass I saw with disbelief
Still dressed in royal clothes the saint behind the altar

The listener finds that there is more to ITPOE than just the opening track, part two appears at the end of the album!

History recalls during times of war
Legend has been traced back inside these castle walls

This line is referring to Prophets of War.

The soldiers came to hide in barrels filled with wine
Never to escape, these tombs of oak are where they died

The song started out good, but as it developed it got worse and worse until it fell to the bottom of the list of DT's worst songs.

Down the cellar stairs I disappear
Like the angel's share the end is near

The listener gets to the end of the album, deeper into it.

Come and have a taste, a rare vintage
All the finest wines improve with age

JP is urging the listener to give it more chances, that it improves with age.

Could this be the end? Is this the way I die?
Sitting here alone, no one by my side
I don't understand, I don't feel that I deserve this
What did I do wrong? I just don't understand
I just don't understand

The listener doesn't understand why he was subjected to such a bad album.*



Give me one more chance, let me please explain
It's all been circumstance, I'll tell you once again
You took me for a ride promising a vast adventure
The next thing that I know I'm frightened for my life

He doesn't think that it is his fault for listening to it, he expected a great adventurous album.


Now wait a minute man, that's not how it is
You must be confused, that isn't who I am
Please don't be afraid, I would never try to hurt you
This is how we live strange although it seems please try to forgive

JP explains that he still stands by it as a great album, but if the listener doesn't like it, well that's his problem.

The chapel and the saint, the soldiers and the wine
The fables and the tales all handed down through time

He believes that SC is a great album of historical importance, and will stand the test of time.

Of course you're free to go, go and tell the world my story
Tell about my brother, tell them about me, the Count of Tuscany


He urges the listener to spread the album, and to tell others about Mike Portnoy, and himself, and how Systematic Chaos is actually him.



Next time I'll explain how Mike Portnoy is Black Clouds and Silver Linings.

[alirocker08]

Pffft, that's nothing, wait until you hear the truth about Wither! ;P

[FlyingBIZKIT]

So...how long were you typing this?

[Mosh]

About 6 and a half minutes.

[FlyingBIZKIT]

NUGGETZ

[Ultimetalhead]

I really hope this is a joke.

[VincentMDO]

Drugs. And the strong one: Desomorphine.

[theseoafs]

I didn't know JP disliked Prophets of War so much.

[rumborak]

The song is about JP getting laid in Italy in some BDSM den. All they did was to add an "o", and now everybody thinks it's about a fricking Count. "Sucking on his pipe", could it be more obvious?!

rumborak

[Pols Voice]

Mosh, what was in that honeydew you dined on?

[theseoafs]

Mosh, what was in that honeydew you dined on?

I hear they're calling it "milk of paradise" these days.

[Mosh]

It was just like Paradise.

[voncorn]

-

[Jaq]

Mosh, what was in that honeydew you dined on?

I hear they're calling it "milk of paradise" these days.

Well played.

[jingle.boy]

tl;dr

[BlobVanDam]

I really hope this is a joke.

[Jirpo]

Bring on the next one!

[Ben_Jamin]

I like what you say. But, PoW is a great song

[tjanuranus]

[Gadough]

The song is about JP getting laid in Italy in some BDSM den. All they did was to add an "o", and now everybody thinks it's about a fricking Count. "Sucking on his pipe", could it be more obvious?!

rumborak

Rumborak...you know Rena browses the forum. We should probably be more subtle when discussing matters such as this.

[tjanuranus]

The song is about JP getting laid in Italy in some BDSM den. All they did was to add an "o", and now everybody thinks it's about a fricking Count. "Sucking on his pipe", could it be more obvious?!

rumborak

[angelillo]

 

[Mladen]

That was hilarious. 

Except that Systematic chaos is a great album. 

[wolfking]

I read the first two lines and then lost interest.

[Elite]

So there we have it. Couldn't have been more obvious.

[Millais]

The song is about JP getting laid in Italy in some BDSM den. All they did was to add an "o", and now everybody thinks it's about a fricking Count. "Sucking on his pipe", could it be more obvious?!

rumborak

absolutely brilliant 

[Heretic]

welp

[kirksnosehair]

tl;dr

[matt1722]

[kirksnosehair]

Matt!!!!!!!!

[matt1722]

Matt!!!!!!!!

Barry !!!!! 

I think you should go with this idea with The Anabasis II write a song about "The Count Of Tuscany" being about Systematic Chaos

It would be extremely well received. 

[kirksnosehair]

 

[theGonz]

Wait... what? 

[kijuer]

Mosh, what was in that honeydew you dined on?

I hear they're calling it "milk of paradise" these days.

Did you take that clue from an ancient book?

[hefdaddy42]

OP does not deliver quite like the Awake/Spider-man thread did.