Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my friend)

[Shadow2222]

Ok. First of all, I am an 18 year old (turning 19 in September) about to graduate from high school. I am seeing DT/Iron Maiden on July 15 in Cleveland (I live in Warren, OH).

Then they announced a headlining show in Columbus. My mom thinks it is stupid and a waste of money to go to both concerts. I do not, as I am absolutely obsessed with DT and really want to see them headline this year.

I just got a free 100 bucks from my new bank for a "Sign up and use your check card five times" deal.

I understand I am 18, but my mom specifically gave me a "no means no!" answer, and I never EVER disobey my mom, cause I really do care a lot about her. I know she would get over it, but is this situation a cause for disobeying my mom?
Please give me your opinions. The tickets go onsale in ten hours here, and I really don't know what to do.

[Nic35]

Just talk to her like an adult, tell her your point and say how siginificant it is for you to see DT twice. You should whatever you want with your money, especially if it's a gift from your bank, you should be allowed to use it as you want.

[kirbywelch92]

Explain the difference between the two concerts and how it's not the same concert. If all else fails, pull the "I'm 18 now" card.

[Dr. DTVT]

One is a DT concert, the other is an IM concert, so they are different.  By that point you will be a HS graduate.  As long as the money is yours, you can do what you want with it.  HOWEVER...if you don't have your own car, your parents can always play the "fine, but you're not getting the car" card - so be make plans to go with someone else who can provide wheels before you go and purchase a second ticket.  The best way though is to be a rational adult about it.  If you act like a kid, you'll be seen as a kid - but if you act responsible and like an adult you will get treated like one.  That goes for all you kids out there.

[OsMosis2259]

yeah dont act like a kid. be mature about it and say that DT is going to play more in the other show. Just do not try to argue in an annoying way. Just deliver your points in the most mature way as possible.  Tell her that you will pay and that she doesn't have to worry bout it.  I understand your concern because my parents always worry about me too and i am almost 22 years old.  However thats how some parents are like...

just try to be cool about it and tell her how you feel and if she still says no then you got 2 options:

dont go or...



get the ticket without her knowing and then just sneak out

but really try to talk to her and convince her in the most mature way as possible.

Good luck!

[ZeppelinDT]

How badly do you want to see Maiden?  You could always just sell the Maiden ticket and go see the DT headlining show instead...

[yeshaberto]

don't know your mom, but I would go to her humbly...ie.  I plan to do whatever you say because I respect you, but I am really wanting to see both shows because this is something that means a lot to me.


btw, I lived in warren/austintown for a while.

hope it works out that you get to go to both

[metalandi]

tell her that it's never stupid to go to more than one concert, no matter if it's the same band or not. a live concert is a live concert and each one is unique. also, if you always just do what mum says and are not able to voice your own opinion, you will have a pretty hard life later on. that's my opinion.

[hefdaddy42]

How badly do you want to see Maiden?  You could always just sell the Maiden ticket and go see the DT headlining show instead...

This was my thought.  Unless you're a diehard Maiden fan, just go to the DT show.

Otherwise, let her know that it definitely won't be the same show twice (that would be stupid).  But definitely don't disobey your Mom.

[Quadrochosis]

How badly do you want to see Maiden?  You could always just sell the Maiden ticket and go see the DT headlining show instead...

This was my thought.  Unless you're a diehard Maiden fan, just go to the DT show.

Otherwise, let her know that it definitely won't be the same show twice (that would be stupid).  But definitely don't disobey your Mom.

[Dark Master Of Sin]

If you can't see both shows, go to the DT only show.

[TAC]

btw, I lived in warren/austintown for a while.

Where the f##k haven't you lived??

Just talk to her like an adult, tell her your point and say how siginificant it is for you to see DT twice. 

Good advice here.


Ask her to go with you!

[Shadow2222]

Honestly I would sell the IM ticket, BUT as they are paperless I would have to drive an hour and a half to let the person who bought my "ticket" into the venue.

My mom just doesn't understand that this isn't just "some band" that I happen to like right now.

[yeshaberto]

sorry, shadow

[Setlist Scotty]

I'd suggest that you try to *reason* with her by using an example of something that she is passionate for - music, movies or whatever hobby she may have an interest in. Chances are there is something that she has done repeatedly or owns multiple versions of that seem repetitious to you and most others, but that she has done or owns because they are different. Be polite and show her respect, and explain how going to these two shows mean just as much to you as those things mean to her. Don't make accusations or point a finger at her, but if you calmly and maturely explain yourself and are diplomatic with her, she may listen. It might also help to point out that you are a good kid who hasn't disobeyed her and that you are asking this as a favor from her.

[reneranucci]

Play Scenes from a Memory to her. Say "this is the band we´re talking about". That should change her mind.

[pogoowner]

Play Scenes from a Memory to her. Say "this is the band we´re talking about". That should change her mind.

DO NOT FOLLOW THIS ADVICE.

[reneranucci]

Play Scenes from a Memory to her. Say "this is the band we´re talking about". That should change her mind.

DO NOT FOLLOW THIS ADVICE.

[Shadow2222]

Haha, honestly maybe she is sick of DT, all I ever play blast through my speakers on my TV is Dream Theater.

She brings up a legitimate point that I do have stuff to pay for down the road. I told her that I understand that this isn't the most important thing in the world, but its more important to me than she thinks. She believes its just another thing that I want, and that I'm just gonna turn around and be like "Ooh I want this, ooh I want that." Legitimately, I am like that. However, unlike when I was 13, I don't actually buy the things I want as I have learned the importance of saving money.

I could  see how 45 dollars here and there adds up, but not when you are only buying one 45 dollar item and saving the rest of your money and not giving into the temptations of video games, other electronics, other concerrts, etc.

Any other pieces of advice?

The tickets don't seem to be selling ridiculously fast, but I want to get them as soon as possible.

BTW, if you could all do me a favor (if you have a Facebook), hit the "Like" button on this page to be entered into a contest to win a pair of free tickets to any concert of your choice at a Promo West venue (including Newport Music Hall), and if they have 5500 fans by tomorrow they will let the winner pick a friend to also receive two free tickets.

If you win, and they give you the ability to choose another person for two more free tickets, please tell them Tyler Charles (that's me).
https://www.facebook.com/promowestlive

Maybe if they don't reach the 5500 fan mark but one of you guys wins, could I buy the tickets from you at a slightly reduced price?

[Dr. DTVT]

I'd suggest that you try to *reason* with her by using an example of something that she is passionate for - music, movies or whatever hobby she may have an interest in. Chances are there is something that she has done repeatedly or owns multiple versions of that seem repetitious to you and most others, but that she has done or owns because they are different. Be polite and show her respect, and explain how going to these two shows mean just as much to you as those things mean to her. Don't make accusations or point a finger at her, but if you calmly and maturely explain yourself and are diplomatic with her, she may listen. It might also help to point out that you are a good kid who hasn't disobeyed her and that you are asking this as a favor from her.

She's a womang, see how many pairs of shoes she has.  If it's more than 3, Setlist Scotty's idea is home run.

[Shadow2222]

Unfortunately, she doesn't buy a whole lot of... well... anything.

[hefdaddy42]

Show her this thread.

Well, maybe not.

[metalandi]

Okay maybe there's something i don't understand, but...a)you're 18 and b)you have the money to go..then just DO IT! nobody can tell you what to do, it's YOUR life..sometimes you have to act against someone's will, cause if you'll always do what mum or someone other wants, you won't have a happy life later.

[TAC]

Shad, it's a tough one. On one hand you sound like you DO NEED your mother's poermission to attend both shows. So the people saying just do it, and you're 18 maybe don't understand.
Like Scotty said, sit down and explain your passion for the music. I had to convince my father when I was younger that it was really all about the music, and not so much about hanging out, etc...
Let her know that although it doesn't make sense to her, that it IS important for you. Maybe you'll have to give something else up, like no Indians or Reds games this summer, or something like that.

Remind her that if both shows were announced at the same time, you would've only picked one, but the 50 minute set was announced first, even though the headline show is more important.

I think you have to decide..is she actually "forbbiding" you to go, or just not giving you her blessing. With all due respect, 18 does sound a little old to need permission, but it's a different world today, so I respect your mother's concerns. Maybe this is a crossroads for both of you.

[ddtonfire]

Hope you're at both shows, cause I will be. Two of my great regrets were not going to see certain bands (Genesis and DT) when they came around. Persistence, (not the annoying type) can pay off. Hopefully you'll have until July to convince her! Let her knows it's something you're really passionate about.

[YtseBitsySpider]

How badly do you want to see Maiden?  You could always just sell the Maiden ticket and go see the DT headlining show instead...

^^this IS the correct answer^^

[Shadow2222]

Man, about ten times now I've gone all the way through the ticket buying process just to hover over the final "Continue - Your credit card will be charged" button, but I just can't do it.

Knowing my mom, she would probably get a little mad if I bought the ticket, but she would eventually come around and understand. However, I'm worried that this might randomly be the time she snaps and won't talk to me/forces me to move out or something crazy like that.

To be frank, not to sound pretentious, but I'm a pretty good son, and I really love my parents. I always listen to them and rarely ever argue with them, which makes it that extra bit harder to disobey (even though I'm almost 19).

If I don't win that Facebook contest (which the odds are obviously against me), I might just buy them...
Oh man...

[Shadow2222]

Well, big surprise but I didn't win the Facebook contest ( ), so I just went and bought the tickets.

Um, so, how do I tell my mom?

[hefdaddy42]

Just tell her. 

[Shadow2222]

Hmm, but how should I put it? "Mom, I know you told me not to get the tickets, but this was way too important for me to pass up." How does that sound?

I think that's what I will say.

[Shadow2222]

First, may I request that the thread be moved into General Discussion (as the thread is purposely taking a different direction).

Second, I still haven't told my parents. All of a sudden, this morning, I wasn't feeling very good at all. I asked my mom if I could stay home, as I've only missed 2 days this semester and I have about 25 days of school left in my senior year. They've never said this before, but for some reason, my dad said, "You need to learn responsibility."

I understand that school is important, but I never take off unless I'm feeling pretty darn bad.

Now, here's the real problem. My mom's upset because I "kept bothering" her this morning, and my dad says that I "need to learn responsibility."

I don't think today is the best day to tell them about the tickets. I'm seriously afraid they might kick me out this time. And I have never ever thought that before.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but I'm afraid that they really will lose a lot of respect for me. I am living here the next 2-4 years as well since I am going to a relatively local college and wanted to save on cost.

I'm sorry for always doing this DTF. Strangely enough, you guys always manage to help.

BTW: I always mention my mom and renamed the thread Mom Dilemma simply because while my dad makes some decisions, for some reason, my mom always gets to make any major decision. All my dad usually says is "Go ask your mom."

[hefdaddy42]

I'm seriously afraid they might kick me out this time. And I have never ever thought that before.

What do you mean, "this time"?  I thought you never ever disobey your Mom.  I don't know about everyone else, but I've been proceeding under the assumption that you are a good kid who never does anything wrong.

[metalandi]

I don't wanna sound like an ass, but reading through all this i just keep shaking my head to that whole story. Do you NEVER do something stupid in your life, do you even do things that are fun? Or do you just go to school and do all the time what mommy says? Seriously, you need to change some things in your life. If you wanna go to that gig, then for hell's sake GO. yeah, maybe your parents will be mad, but that's life, sometimes you have to do things even though others don't like it. You weren't born to please everyone else, you were born to LIVE and try out stuff and have fun, and also sometimes to make decisions others don't like and therefore get into a fight/discussion/whatever with someone. That's LIFE. For me all this looks like you are living in a pink bubble that has been built by your mum and you never can get out of it, and you need to change that or you will have serious problems as an adult later on.

[Dark Master Of Sin]

I'm sorry man, but, er, the sooner you get out of that house, the better.

[Shadow2222]

I'm seriously afraid they might kick me out this time. And I have never ever thought that before.

What do you mean, "this time"?  I thought you never ever disobey your Mom.  I don't know about everyone else, but I've been proceeding under the assumption that you are a good kid who never does anything wrong.

That was just bad wording on my part. The only "bad" things I do are occasionally get into disagreements with her. However those arguments are becoming more frequent as time goes on.

Also, I understand that I may be making this sound worse than it is. My mom has been quite "angry" lately, at everything AND everyone.
But we still love each other.

I do have a lot of fun in this house. The problem is, that's the only place where I have fun. I never go anywhere. To be honest (and this is a little scary) driving to Columbus is going to be my first time driving anywhere more than 10 miles from my house. No exaggeration. I must admit I am bad with directions, but only cause I never drive anywhere. Plus I will have a GPS (with lane change directions) and a friend with me.

I mean, she got like this for 2-3 months last year, and she just becomes a (sorry Mom) total bitch. She gets ignorant about everything, she won't let me do anything. I just don't know what to do.