I am so nervous. My stomach is even a bit sick... this is ridiculous
So, maybe talking about this will help calm me down...
I know it's silly, I"m a grown woman. I've had haircuts before. I shouldn't be panicking right now. But see, that's the problem.... let me go back to age 12, sixth grade, the year we ruled the school before going off to Junior High to start all over again at the bottom of the food chain...
I had hair to my waist, long and straight and thick and blonde, just turning darker. My mother took me to her hair dresser and the woman sat me in the chair and as I looked around and noticed that every woman there had the same helmet of toilet paper roll sized curls on their head, whether age 25 or 85, I wish I had started to get scared. But I didn't... I had the blind optimism of a 12 year old girl who was sure she'd be starting junior high in a few months with long curly messy blonde hair that looked just like Sally Struthers once she spun off her show, "Gloria", from "All in the Family".
What I wanted:
Instead her hairdresser recreated that detestable helmet-curl look that every woman there had, for the first time on a 12 year old. As it turned out, two-inch-long fat curls not only looked disgusting on me, making me look like one more boy in the family instead of the princess I had envisioned, they also were all that was left of my long blonde hair that was turning dark - and they were nothing but dark. "Hair-colored hair" I've been calling it ever since.
What I got:
Since then I've been growing it back out, admittedly cutting it and coloring it and perming it at times over the past 24 years since that day, but mostly keeping true to my dream of having it to my waist again someday and then getting the haircut right.
Well, my hair is to my waist and I'm starting to get grey hairs here and there and it is a mess of shapeless fluff that needs to be dealt with now. So, I called this morning and made an appointment and a fancy salon here in the area that I've never been to before, and warned them that my hair is to my waist and I need it to be cut, styled, and tamed.
Wish me luck, and feel free to suggest any hairstyles you particularly like... I'm scared right now and leaving in 45 minutes and won't be back for several hours, and when I return I will probably be several pounds lighter.
I'm not giving my hair to Locks of Love though, and I know they'll try to get me to.. they always do. And I always feel guilty but I am not cutting a foot from my hair! Just a few inches of length and a ton of volume... I hope... *fingers crossed*