Does your spouse/family share your taste and enthusiasm for music?

[BeardedGentlemanHistorian]

The thread Phoenix87x started about marriage experiences made me start to wonder about this. I know it isn't a very serious topic but I'm still curious. It's a pretty safe bet that most people here are passionate about music, Dream Theater or otherwise.

If you're married or in a relationship does your significant other share your general taste in music? If they don't, do you wish they did?

If you're single, is sharing similar tastes and/or enthusiasm a factor you think about in a potential partner?

[ChuckSteak]

No. Nobody in my family nor my girlfriend share my musical taste. My brother likes DT and some metal bands though.

Hmmmm.. if my girlfriend liked the same kind of music as I do, it would certainly be better and it would bring us closer. Music is also a language, an experience, a state of mind, etc, and when you and share it with your significant other it is like you speak the same language, in a way.. I mean, you know that feeling when you like something really special and unknown and you finally find someone who loves it as much as you do? It feels like you found a companion to share your love for music.

I don't think musical taste is an essential factor when looking for a partner, but it is certainly something that I take into consideration. The kind of music you like also says something about your personality, about who you are. Of course other factors are extremely more relevant than musical taste and I think it would be silly to not want to be with somebody or get involved simply because they don't share your musical taste. It's not essential, it is a bonus.

[King Postwhore]

Yes. The wife loves the music I listen to, (many forum members have met her) and she loves fine beer and she loves the NFL and NHL.

[Phoenix87x]

My ex fiance had an almost identical taste in music. Even stuff she never heard of that I liked, she would get into, with the exception of rap/hip hop. (which now makes sense in hindsight, since she was a racist). Just her knee jerk revulsion when she heard the Hip/hop radiostation that I happened to have on before she got in the car. "what is this garbage" I will never forget. I never said that about any of the music she liked.

During the first year of our relationship, I would email her one new song every single night. And then she would tell me what she thought the next day.

Music is my life. I wouldn't start a relationship with someone who didn't share that love and I've always flirted by making mixtapes and gauging reactions. If they liked it, I found that attractive and make the next step.

[pg1067]

There is some crossover between my taste in music and my wife's taste, but not a lot.  She's not nearly as passionate about music as I am, and she actively dislikes most of my favorite bands/artists.

My son was initially into some of the music I like.  I took him to see Rush when he turned 10, and his walk-up song when he played baseball one season was Iron Maiden's Aces High.  However, he's recently gone over to the dark side of rap/hip-hop.

My daughter plays flute in her middle school band (both regular band and jazz band).  She likes classical and some jazz music.  I like lots of classical and some jazz, but I don't spend a lot of time listening to either.  I don't think her taste in popular or rock music is well-defined at this point, but I know she regularly listens to music.  I'll often ask her, "what are you listening to?" but she often responds with, "someone's playlist" and doesn't know the artists' names.  I did, however, catch her listening to and enjoying Led Zeppelin a couple weeks ago, so there's hope!   

[Cool Chris]

Not in the slightest. She could barely name 5 bands I listen to regularly.

My personal opinion is that some of the comments here are putting a little too much emphasis on musical tastes.

[dparrott]

My wife DID when we first got married, but she changed over the course of our marriage.  She rarely listens to our shared musical tastes now, and I don't like it.  Yea it was important to me that we shared musical tastes, but we share other things like TV shows, so it's not a big deal I guess.  Though I still wish I had a partner to rock out with.

[The Walrus]

Not one bit... some of them have openly mocked my taste for many years. Hell not even any of my local friends have my taste at all, except for one buddy who likes the stuff I've shown him over the years, he's pretty cool. Another guy pretends to like the stuff or pretends to have heard of the bands but I know he's full of it

[TioJorge]

That's a hard no.

It doesn't matter to me what kind of enthusiasm a potential girlfriend would have for any kind of band unless it's country. I'm kind of embarrassed but kind of not to say that if she blared country all the time, I couldn't stand it. Hearing that shit legitimately puts me in a bad mood. Other than that, I'm pretty sure I could stand most anything. Granted, I don't blare my shit when I know someone else doesn't like it so I'd kind of expect the same, but if we have a back and forth of "your music then my music", that'd be cool.

My family knows of my enthusiasm but that's about it; they're more or less indifferent to it. My dad did come with me to see a Steven Wilson show in Cali one time though (and I met Jackie there! Miss Jackiiiieeeee!  ) and he said he really liked most of the music. I'm pretty sure he lost his shit when No Twilight Within The Courts Of The Sun came on though and probably left to go to the bar around that time.  Also when I was very young, and my sisters even younger (I think I was 16, my sisters were a toddler and a kid), they did this cute little ballet-ish dance number to Pull Me Under. It was cute because it was so horribly out of sync and insane, as you can imagine. I mean it's Pull Me Under. 

I dunno how this turned into George's nostalgia time but uh... 

[Lonk]

 Been in a relationship for 7 years, and at first what brought us together was our shared interest specially in music. We didn’t listen to the same bands but we both learned to appreciate what the other person likes(I became a coheed and Cambria fan because of her). Now days we still share a lot of similar interests, even outside of music, but some of them have also gone separate ways. She still listens to rock/hard rock while I leaned more towards progressive and metal.

For our first date as a couple, 7 years ago, we went to a Disturbed/Korn concert.

[ganpondorodf]

Outside of Disney songs, not really

[lordxizor]

Nope, she hardly likes any of the same music as me. It would be awesome if she'd go to concerts and stuff with me, but it's really not a big deal.

[Train of Naught]

My brother is more into metalcore than I am, we grew up listening to the same stuff though. When I'm at my family's house I can blast my music without anyone getting annoyed (or maybe just too polite to mention it). Sometimes my bro even asks for track IDs if he likes the songs, and I've brought him to a couple concerts and festivals the past few years, so in a way we do share the same taste.

I haven't had longterm relationships but I cannot imagine it being super important to me, sometimes I listen to music and think "I have to share this with X" but then when we meet there's just more interesting shit to talk about than music, I reserve those convos for my music-nerd friends of which there are plenty at school.

I think all girls I dated we could at least figure out something we both enjoy, I like to think I'm very tolerant when it comes to different types of music. Of course I won't show them BTBAM or something, but I can proudly admit I turned one girl into a new Mars Volta fan last week.

[lonestar]

I don't look for a fellow metal/prog lover in dating. My musical passion is my own, I don't need to share it to define it, and it's something that makes me me. As to family, my bro shares pretty much my taste, and we have our own clique of friends, so we got that to bond over.

[Phoenix87x]

That's a hard no.

It doesn't matter to me what kind of enthusiasm a potential girlfriend would have for any kind of band unless it's country. I'm kind of embarrassed but kind of not to say that if she blared country all the time, I couldn't stand it. Hearing that shit legitimately puts me in a bad mood. Other than that, I'm pretty sure I could stand most anything. Granted, I don't blare my shit when I know someone else doesn't like it so I'd kind of expect the same, but if we have a back and forth of "your music then my music", that'd be cool.

Oh I totally forgot about the country music thing, lol. I can't do it either, as with me as well It puts me in a bad mood.

[jingle.boy]

That's a hard no.

This for me.  It's not that she doesn't like *my* music, she just doesn't have a passion for music in general.  jingle.daughter does, but it's Top 40 shit.  She does like the odd thing that I do, but it's few and far between.  jingle.son is like his mom - apathetic at best.

I don't look for a fellow metal/prog lover in dating. My musical passion is my own, I don't need to share it to define it, and it's something that makes me me.

I concur.  It's not necessary, but it would be a cool thing to share and discuss with mrs.jingle.  I'm totally fine with it being 'my' thing.

[T-ski]

the only band my wife and I hear ear to ear on is Anathema.

She did humor me a few years back and went to see Dream Theater with me. 

[jammindude]

The five stages of dating a progressive rock geek:

1. Oh wow!  I love music too!
2. Wow, your library is huge!
3. I really liked that ballad by that one band.
4. Boy...you sure are into music.
5. Your music gives me a headache.

[Adami]

The five stages of dating a progressive rock geek:

1. Oh wow!  I love music too!
2. Wow, your library is huge!
3. I really liked that ballad by that one band.
4. Boy...you sure are into music.
5. Your music gives me a headache.

Ohhh, I must be ahead of the game. All the girls I meet just skip right to number 5.

[Cool Chris]

3.5. "Does this song ever end?"

[jammindude]

3.5. "Does this song ever end?"

Permanently adding! 

[ChuckSteak]

Classics are:

This is just noise! How can you listen to that?
When does the song start?
Is there no vocals?

and of course the already mentioned Does this song never end?

[King Postwhore]

Man you guys suck at finding the right girl!😁

[SwedishGoose]

Neither my wife nor my kids share my taste in music. There are some common ground but not much.

I share my music and go to concerts with my friends.

My wife and I share other cultural interests. We go to the theater, the Opera and to se Musicals and dance performances. We also go to museums.

[TAC]

My wife loves music, but in an extremely casual sort of way. She enjoys pop, or whatever is on the radio.

She loves Queen, and Freddie Mercury, and Lady Gaga.

She has no interest in following music whatsoever.

[King Postwhore]

My wife loves music, but in an extremely casual sort of way. She enjoys pop, or whatever is on the radio.

She loves Queen, and Freddie Mercury, and Lady Gaga.

She has no interest in following music whatsoever.

But she does indulge you going to the bands you like once in a while.

[TAC]

My wife loves music, but in an extremely casual sort of way. She enjoys pop, or whatever is on the radio.

She loves Queen, and Freddie Mercury, and Lady Gaga.

She has no interest in following music whatsoever.

But she does indulge you going to the bands you like once in a while.

Yeah, and I'm glad when she does.

[King Postwhore]

No doubt.  I love thst Lisa loves music.  She's met many on this board and loved meeting them.

[Lethean]

I guess I'll be one of the few to say "yes."  Music is something we share, and I think it's awesome.  I do agree that it's not essential and from this thread alone there are plenty of great relationships that don't have this in common.  For mine?  Would we be together if we didn't share this, but everything else about our personalities was the same?  I don't know; we wouldn't have met in the first place (because we met at a show).  I guess one of us would have our eye glazing over all the time when the other talked about music, shows, etc...   It's a great thing to share; and we certainly spent countless hours talking about "what really happened" when MP left DT...

[Lax]

Mother - pianist and got amused by dream theater, played some with her, like part of dance of eternity
Sister - pianist, played a little with her recently
Brother - played some keyboards
Father - music enthusiast
We all share love for music and are very eclectic

Wife - drummer and bassist
I could write a book about how perfect she is a match for me, even without music.
She is more of a pop punk fan, but she enjoys metal and went to venues more metal than me
We played loads of songs together, have a family band with both sisters and even played at our wedding !

I hope our future daughter will be a music enthusiast too

[bl5150]

Wife - no.   Doesn't bother me day to day but I do have pangs of envy at a gig when I see partners dolled up in their metal gear and enjoying the same concert. 

Sister - very much so  because she was brought up right by her older brother       So the gigs are our "thing" which is nice.

[ReaperKK]

Not even close. I do like some of her music though, she just isn't very passionate about music to begin with. It's totally fine though, when in the car for example we listen to what we both like and that works.

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever even met, let alone date, a woman who liked 50% of the music I liked. That's fine with me .

[King Postwhore]

i forgot to mention that my dad was a huge music fan.  He loved Buddy Holly & the Crickets and The Ventures.  He played a 1962 fender Strat.

My mom loved Patsy Kline and Roy Orbison.

My brother is a bass player and while I influenced him, he set on his own course musically. He loves Motown, funk as well as rock and prog rock.

[Stadler]

Not in the slightest. She could barely name 5 bands I listen to regularly.

My personal opinion is that some of the comments here are putting a little too much emphasis on musical tastes.

I must've married Cool Chris's wife's sister. 

For me, though, it's really two different questions.  You can have  "enthusiasm" for music, and not like the same kind of music.  My wife does have an enthusiasm for music, just not Kiss and Night Ranger.  Hahaha.  I note that her  enthusiasm is expressed differently.  I'm the completist, I need every song that Genesis put out, even that green Flexi-disk of Firth of Fifth Live from 1982 that has never been officially released on CD... she's content with Keith Urban's catalogue on Spotify or Rhapsody or some such shit.    For us, it's the enthusiasm - and thus mutual respect - for the music that's important.  Franky, I kind of LIKE going to concerts myself.   I get to watch what I want, I get to move closer if I want (or, like at Schenker last week, move back and  mingle).    I get to hang after the show (and I got to meet Gary Barden, Billy Squier and Dr. Allen Sloan that way) and I get to experience it the way I want to experience it.   

It's not the place, so I'll tone it down, but this notion of "musical taste" as something tangible, or worse yet, quantifiable, is nauseating to me.  I have four kids now, and for me, all I care about is that they like SOMETHING.   Whether it's Lil' Wayne, or One Direction, or Iron Maiden, it's not the point.   That I like Dream Theater or Neal Morse doesn't make me any better than someone that likes Cardi B or Migos. 

[Grappler]

Nope.  Wife likes some of the more commercial oriented metal (Godsmack, Metallica, Rob Zombie) and Rammstein.  But that's all - she likes a lot of 80's pop and rock, hairbands and country music.  Parents prefer their classic rock (which I also love), though I have taken them to see a local metal band that I'm a fan of (the guitarist is a guy my dad knew from work).  I exposed my brother to some metal while growing up and he likes some, but certainly not to the extent that I do.  So we all share a love for music, but I'm the only serious metalhead.

My daughter is nearly 3 and would rather listen to nursery rhymes than "daddy's music," though I have gotten her to dance around to Nightwish and Amaranthe.  I have plenty of time to expose my kids to metal.

I don't mind it - it gives me something that is "mine" in the family, and I can get out of the house on occasion for concerts.