Back when we were kids, my buddy and I would make up alternate lyrics to popular songs to amuse ourselves. Think quasi-Weird Al but with a slightly more twisted (inappropriate) bend to it. Stan (my buddy) was much better at it than I was and he called the practice “perverting a song.” And it wasn’t just songs we didn’t like or heard too much, nothing was sacred. I’ve long suspected that more people do this, so I’m soliciting DTF for your favorite alternative lyrics.
WARNING: Once you hear them, it may be all you hear in the future, so, if you have a favorite song you don’t want ruined for ever after, you may not want to read this thread.
Example: Phil and I were going to dinner one night and while he was driving Bachman Turner Overdrive’s - You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet came over the radio. Phil said, “I love this song” and turned up the radio and we both were singing along. When I sang, “…and then she looked at me with those big brown eyes and said; I ain’t felt nothing yet; b-b-baby is that as big as it’ll get; here’s something…there’s something…no, not quite yet; b-b-baby I just ain’t felt nothing yet; you ain’t very big around…” [cue: soaring guitar melody], Phil looked at me with horror in his eyes, groaned, laughed and then lamented, “I’ll never be able to not hear that!”. I asked him about it twenty years later and he said he still can’t listen to that song.
Now, U.