Author Topic: Today I sent a text insulting someone to the person I was insulting by accident  (Read 2233 times)

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Offline wolfking

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I don't visit much of GD in my years on DTF but this is a GD topic I gotta share with you guys.  Today, I insulted one of my employees via text by accident.  It was meant to go to my supervisor collegue, but I fucked up.  I won't try and make this too long if I can, but I'm sure it will be.

I'm a supervisor and have a pretty full on job at times.  Anyway, I'm in charge of a lot of people that are all casual so I'm constantly working with new people every year.  This one staff started around October but didn't have a particular qualification/ticket needed in the role.  For some reason, the people and culture section of my organisation which is a local government sector will still put an employee on the books even without the quals, they just have to be willing to obtain, then it's up to us and we then get in trouble if they then work without it.  Anyway this fellow was meant to obtain it in October but he isn't the full quid.  Nice guy and does a decent enough job with job work availability, he's filled out the form wrong and just balls it up three times now and it keeps getting sent back and he has no urgency to get it done even though it should be affecting his employment.  It got to a point where if a qual wasn't produced, we should have taken him off the roster.  Nevertheless he then let it slide again, things got busy and XMas happened and cause shit took too long his application got withdrawn cause of just that, taking too long.

We told him again he would be let go if this wasn't sorted.  Anyway, us being the nice guys keep giving him work, and then he was suppose to take the form to my collegue when he worked with him yesterday to sign, he didn't do it of course again, so I was on the way to the work venue he was at today to sign it off and make sure he sends it again.  I get a text as I was on the way, telling me he forgot to bring the form.  For fucks sake I was getting angry.  I got there and said I will try and print one.  He was standing outside and I was on the computer looking to print out the back. 

Myself and my other supervisor collegue are good mates and work well together, and we always send texts to each other laughing at what the staff do and what we have to deal with, slaging off staff and what they do or how they constantly scew us.  Anyone working with casual staff know it's hell at times.  I went to send him a text and it said 'XXX is almost as dumb as YYY.'  Now YYY is possibly the dumbest sack of shit I've ever had and I fired him a few weeks ago because he was such a dosile dickhead who was shit at his job and couldn't learn or take any accountability for his work performance.  For some reason, don't ask me why, I opened up the text from this staff member who was above my collegues name, typed it and sent it.

I immediately realised what I had done and the sheer panic and terror that came over me was something I've never experienced and never want to experience again.  I couldn't undo this, and I'm always so careful, how the fuck could I have done that.  What do I do.  He's standing right outside.  I had the worst morning before that today also so emotion, tiredness and carlessness got the better of me.  As a supervisor I'm not afraid to tell people what they need to hear, but that just wasn't me and made me instantly feel sick.  All of a sudden wondering how I could dispose of the body with blood on my hands, I hear, "I think you meant to send that to someone else mate."

I got up, walked up to him and apologized profusley.  Surprisingly he was okay.  He said "it's fine mate, I know you've been looking after me and helping me out, I should have done this at the start, I've let you down and I understand it's my responsibility." I replied with comments like "I appreciate that, but there was no need for that and I feel sick to my stomach, and I'm sorry.  Any action you want to take against me regarding it, I'll cop it mate, but it's just silly banter between the two of us to get us through the day that doesn't mean anything and to be honest with you, the lack of urgency with this qual has really frustrated us and you know that, hence the text but I still have no excuse for that, you don't deserve that."  I also said, "Mate there is no way you could be as dumb as YYY, no one on this planet could and if you were, you still wouldn't be here."  He said it was all good, shit happens and he wasn't going to get me in trouble.  I told him that wasn't the issue, it's just poor tact and felt dirty for that to happen and how unprofessional I was.

I felt like I let myself down and I always pride myself on having a good working relationship with everyone and a top reputation.  This was a sour moment that if North Korea tested a missile launch right in my workplace, I'd be more than happy.  Anyway, we had a bit of a laugh and general chat and this guy was so gracious with the way he took it.  I could have said a lot lot worse to be honest and he could have taken it a lot worse.  I still feel sick to my stomach and have really let myself down.  Nevertheless, the guy shouldn't have been making money for these last few months but I have been lenient and helpful and really put my back out for him and covered his ass so maybe that's why he took it on the chin.  He also said he found it funny himself, shit, maybe he is as dumb as the other bloke I referred him too haha.  My collegue will see him in the morning so I'm praying everything is still okay, the last thing I'd want to do is hurt someones feelings by just being dumb and saying something that's uncalled for and not contructive at all.

Sorry for the long post, but the point of the story is take care when texting and who you are texting, this was the worse feeling ever and would never want anyone to feel it.  So tell me DTF, am I a bad person anyway and anyone done something like this?

tl:dr - Sent a text to an employee by accident meant for my supervisor collegue saying he was an idiot.  Took responsibilty and he was okay about it, it seems.
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Offline BlobVanDam

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Very lucky for you he's such a laid back dude and realizes how good you've been to him, because that could have gone badly. Even with how it went, I'd still feel bad about it too.
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Very lucky for you he's such a laid back dude and realizes how good you've been to him, because that could have gone badly. Even with how it went, I'd still feel bad about it too.
Yeah, this is my reaction too.

To be honest, if you have that kind of gossip/ranting/bitching/whatever with friends (and I'm not judging, most people do it I think) then it's inevitable that something like this will happen eventually. It sounds like you handled it really well afterwards (owning up to the mistake, and making it clear that you didn't think it was ok, even if he did) but you definitely got lucky with how cool he was about it.

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Very lucky for you he's such a laid back dude and realizes how good you've been to him, because that could have gone badly. Even with how it went, I'd still feel bad about it too.

My thoughts exactly. I try and stay away from the employee drama at work, it's only bitten me in the ass in the past (as in also sending a text to the wrong person)

Offline MirrorMask

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Take the good reaction from the guy as a divine sign to be more careful with these details from now on.

I still remember when at my previous work we were badmouthing a coworker, how I was double-triple-quadruple checking the recipient to make sure that I wasn't sending the mail to the person I was dissing.
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Offline The Walrus

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Even the best of us make mistakes, nobody's perfect, and it's really lucky for you that he took it so well. Now most people would say, "What have we learned?" in hopes that you won't trash talk coworkers, but I'll tell you to just double and triple check the participants of the conversation before you hit send next time  :biggrin:

Quote
He also said he found it funny himself, shit, maybe he is as dumb as the other bloke I referred him too haha.

That's probably how I would have handled it honestly. Laugh at it, brush it off, move on. :)

I've accidentally sent texts to the person who shouldn't be receiving them before and although it hasn't been at work, I totally understand that wave of dread that comes over you as soon as you realize what's been done. Glad it worked out for both of you in the end. And maybe he'll get his stuff taken care of now!
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Offline MirrorMask

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I once lived the reverse - a customer forwarded my reply to a friend... no, actually, he forwarded it back to me, writing "Hey, look what this idiot is suggesting me to do, do you think he's right?"  ;D I don't remember if we ignored the mail or replied in a polite and professional matter (as every customer service is bound to do) as nothing had happened, but either way, I was more than amused at the idea of him realizing what he's done  :lol
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Offline gmillerdrake

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Feel for ya man. I've yet to do something like that and I say 'yet' because I know the law of averages say I will at some point. In the instances where I'm sending a text 'about' someone I have a mental alarm of sorts to really pay attention to who I've entered in as the recipient. But....as I said....it's just a matter of time.

As others have mentioned....glad the guy was cool about it.


this reminds me of the Curb your Enthusiasm episode from this past season where Larry intentionally sends a text meant for someone else to the wrong person.....the wrong person being the person he's complimenting to the 'intended' recipient.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kzO06_ot4o
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I had something similar happen to me at work but it was with IM. I was complaining about this lady being annoying a quite frankly a bitch but accidentally sent it to her. I as able to play it off that I was complaining to her about my sister. I was definitely sweating a bit.

Offline El Barto

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I've learned to be careful not just with the messages I send, but even with what will happen to them on the recipient's end. Like most companies it's not uncommon for us to mock and ridicule our customers. I double and triple check the recipient of every email I send, but I'll go even further and start a new email to be rude if the reply was via a forward. I won't take the chance that somebody re-forwards the email and it gets out of our control. Same thing if there's an attachment involved. Attachment email stays professional and a new one is created to call the customer a dumb sack of shit.

I wonder if XXX is trying to juggle the ideas that A: he needs to get his act together, and B: he's now bulletproof.
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Sorry to be sort of a dick, and not join in the kumbaya session, but there are some lessons to be learned here.

Maybe, even though you have a "great" relationship with your supervisor colleague, it's not the best idea to be texting Human Resource/employee related comments amongst yourselves.    "TEXTS" are written documents, for better or worse, and now there's a written log that So-and-so is "dumb".

I know for me, I would have said the exact same thing to your face - "No problem, mate!  All good, mate!  My bad, mate!" - but you'd be a target now.  You can't be trusted.  You can't be relied on to not fuck up my CAREER.   I don't quite know what you mean by "casual staff", and I don't know where you are (geographically), but I would be more careful.

I don't know; maybe it's being an attorney for a big company, and one that deals with HR issues fairly regularly, but I don't fuck around at ALL with people's jobs. 

Offline Phoenix87x

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I did this once and felt pretty dumb. Someone had texted me something dumb and then I went to text a friend about how dumb it was and ended up just texting back the first person. so ultimately I was the dumb one.

Because of that situation, I've started just keeping stuff to myself instead of texting criticisms or I just try and save it to express verbally.

Offline wolfking

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Thanks for all the responses, even the ones giving me a rev up, I know I fucked up, but shit happens.  Yes, we shouldn't be talking between each other about employees, but sometimes you need to vent to someone, next time it will be a direct phone call.  I still feel bad about it this morning although I'm just hoping time heals this one.

Because of that situation, I've started just keeping stuff to myself instead of texting criticisms or I just try and save it to express verbally.

Yeah, pretty much what I'll do.

Sorry to be sort of a dick, and not join in the kumbaya session, but there are some lessons to be learned here.

Maybe, even though you have a "great" relationship with your supervisor colleague, it's not the best idea to be texting Human Resource/employee related comments amongst yourselves.    "TEXTS" are written documents, for better or worse, and now there's a written log that So-and-so is "dumb".

I know for me, I would have said the exact same thing to your face - "No problem, mate!  All good, mate!  My bad, mate!" - but you'd be a target now.  You can't be trusted.  You can't be relied on to not fuck up my CAREER.   I don't quite know what you mean by "casual staff", and I don't know where you are (geographically), but I would be more careful.

I don't know; maybe it's being an attorney for a big company, and one that deals with HR issues fairly regularly, but I don't fuck around at ALL with people's jobs. 

I'm not ignorant, I know there is lessons here, I'm the first to admit all my mistakes in this situation.  I'm in Australia and casual staff for us means no benefits and can be rostered anytime with no set amount of hours.  I'm not worried about him fucking up my career.

I wonder if XXX is trying to juggle the ideas that A: he needs to get his act together, and B: he's now bulletproof.

He's not bulletproof.  Even though I fucked up, no way I'd let someone have something over me, even though I am 100% in the wrong, I'm not that sort of person.
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First Orbert, and now Kade. We need a Confession Thread. :lol


Kade, honestly, you just called the guy dumb. Even if he went to HR, you'd get off pretty lightly. The good thing is that you didn't refer to anything related to race, ethnicity, of a sexual nature, etc...
You've been more than fair with him, even extending him work when he wasn't keeping up his end.


But generally, especially with emails, don't send anything would wouldn't want reprinted on the newspaper front page. And texts, especially work related, should likely be treated the same.
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
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Offline cramx3

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Yea I think you learned your lesson here and got somewhat of a pass, but I'm not sure how much trouble you'd really get in either since you were doing a solid for this guy.  He probably gets that and knows he is fucking this up.  Although I am almost wondering if he is fucking up on purpose.  Like not doing the paperwork to keep a job is really important, not doing it isn't just lazy, it's looking to be unemployed.  You did the right thing at the end of the day by confronting it head on.

Offline wolfking

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First Orbert, and now Kade. We need a Confession Thread. :lol


Kade, honestly, you just called the guy dumb. Even if he went to HR, you'd get off pretty lightly. The good thing is that you didn't refer to anything related to race, ethnicity, of a sexual nature, etc...
You've been more than fair with him, even extending him work when he wasn't keeping up his end.



But generally, especially with emails, don't send anything would wouldn't want reprinted on the newspaper front page. And texts, especially work related, should likely be treated the same.

Thanks Tim, this was my thoughts too.  I'm pretty certain I wouldn't get fired, probably a warning if it went that far.  I also think even though not justified but the text was brought on by the frustration of him not meeting his prerequisite for work for over 3 months, yet still reaping the benefits so he's not perfect.  He's also missed shifts and not read rosters properly too more than once and called in sick a few times where I have been skeptical. The other thing is too I didn't swear and as you said nothing related to race sex etc.  The way I talk sometimes, I'm lucky I didn't send something much much worse.

Yeah mate, everything happens for a reason and I'm really going to learn from this.  I class myself as a good boss, but something like this makes me want to improve again, so if I can learn from my mistake, it's all good. 

The frustrating thing is also, is that it happens everywhere, so many staff talk shit about each other, post in group chats with each other, I know all about it, and anything that happens gets around like wildfire.  Social media and ease of communication these days IMO is turning into a bad thing.
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Offline wolfking

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Yea I think you learned your lesson here and got somewhat of a pass, but I'm not sure how much trouble you'd really get in either since you were doing a solid for this guy.  He probably gets that and knows he is fucking this up.  Although I am almost wondering if he is fucking up on purpose.  Like not doing the paperwork to keep a job is really important, not doing it isn't just lazy, it's looking to be unemployed.  You did the right thing at the end of the day by confronting it head on.

Thanks mate, I think admitting and talking it out then and there was the best way, I'd be stressed to the max if it went unresolved or we hadn't spoken and there was no communication back, that would be hell.  To be honest also, with things that has been going on in my workplace, I'd get in more trouble for letting him work without this ticket, that's actually the biggest concern here and that he is working without it, if something happened we'd both be as dumb as YYY.

I have also thought why completing this paperwork has been such an issue.  I've had many staff over the years apply and go through the simple process without concern but the way this guy is fucking us around is strange.
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Offline cramx3

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Not sure what this paperwork entails, but is there something he may be trying to hide? 

Offline wolfking

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Not sure what this paperwork entails, but is there something he may be trying to hide?

That's what I've been wondering.  Don't want to spell it out but it's a card you get when you've had a check from the authorities allowing you to work with certain people.  It's important.  Basically if something happened and he didn't have this card, I'd be fucked.  So I think it's all just the pressure of kind of needing him to work and deliver my business for my local government body as well as the frustration of still giving him work when he's not meeting his end of the bargain.  I just wished HR when hiring these people officially don't officially put them on until everything is met.  It's annoying that as I said, they put them on, but if something happened without that person having a certain ticket, I'd be the one that's fucked over it.
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Online jingle.boy

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First... you on an iPhone?  I've sent many a text to the wrong person because the Messages app won't always go to the same person that you just got a message from in the iPhone text 'popup' window.  Fortunately, nothing serious ... yet.

I can totally understand the feeling of dread, and think you handled it perfectly.  I on the other hand was on the receiving end of a text that was about me, but not meant for me.  The sender hadn't referenced my name directly, but the language and use of 'he' and 'him' was quite clearly meant *about* me, and not *for* me.  The guy - whom I respected immensely - didn't own up to it, and tried to brush it off that the message wasn't about me.  We got over it eventually, and are still on good terms - though both with different companies now.  I thought him trying to brush it off like it wasn't about me was pretty lame ... the way you addressed it was masterful.
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First... you on an iPhone?  I've sent many a text to the wrong person because the Messages app won't always go to the same person that you just got a message from in the iPhone text 'popup' window.  Fortunately, nothing serious ... yet.

I can totally understand the feeling of dread, and think you handled it perfectly.  I on the other hand was on the receiving end of a text that was about me, but not meant for me.  The sender hadn't referenced my name directly, but the language and use of 'he' and 'him' was quite clearly meant *about* me, and not *for* me.  The guy - whom I respected immensely - didn't own up to it, and tried to brush it off that the message wasn't about me.  We got over it eventually, and are still on good terms - though both with different companies now.  I thought him trying to brush it off like it wasn't about me was pretty lame ... the way you addressed it was masterful.

Haha, "yet". :)

Offline cramx3

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I actually sent axeman a text meant for someone else (my gf) as a first text before we met up at a DT concert.  It had nothing to do with him and glad I ddin't say something more personal, but felt like a total idiot for doing it.  :lol

Also, on a slightly different spin to the accidental text...

The Accidental Text on Purpose

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Serious as a heart attack here... I had a fellow DTF'r send me a FB message (.gif) that was CLEARLY meant for his significant other insinuating some :heybaby:
That's a word salad - and take it from me, I know word salad
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Offline gmillerdrake

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Also, on a slightly different spin to the accidental text...

The Accidental Text on Purpose

What.....yours is cooler because of that fancy renaming the hyperlink deal?


this reminds me of the Curb your Enthusiasm episode from this past season where Larry intentionally sends a text meant for someone else to the wrong person.....the wrong person being the person he's complimenting to the 'intended' recipient.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kzO06_ot4o
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Offline wolfking

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First... you on an iPhone?  I've sent many a text to the wrong person because the Messages app won't always go to the same person that you just got a message from in the iPhone text 'popup' window.  Fortunately, nothing serious ... yet.

I can totally understand the feeling of dread, and think you handled it perfectly.  I on the other hand was on the receiving end of a text that was about me, but not meant for me.  The sender hadn't referenced my name directly, but the language and use of 'he' and 'him' was quite clearly meant *about* me, and not *for* me.  The guy - whom I respected immensely - didn't own up to it, and tried to brush it off that the message wasn't about me.  We got over it eventually, and are still on good terms - though both with different companies now.  I thought him trying to brush it off like it wasn't about me was pretty lame ... the way you addressed it was masterful.

Thanks for that comment Chad, I do think I handled it in the best way possible also.  And nah, my phone is an android so there was really nothing I can blame it on.  Yeah, I admit you're mate there showed a lack of respect not owning up, but then again if your name wasn't there he can just deny, deny, deny.  Makes him look more of a dick though for sure.

My colleague spoke to him this morning and asked if he was all good and he was fine the same he was with me, also completed his paperwork.  So looks like I might have dodged a bullet here, but phew it was a close one for sure.  Never again.  Lesson learned.
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Offline MirrorMask

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I think this is the best occasion as any to share more wrong recipients horror stories  :lol

Two memorable ones from where I was working before... the first, which should teach us to not open two replies windows at once if you mix up the recipients - the team manager sends out the daily results, and someone, most evidently wanting to reply to another, personal mail, answers to everyone in the team (supervisors included) "Well, I look at pussy in a pr0n, or I go with whores which is even better"  :facepalm:

Another one even more memorable was sent to *everybody* - you see, for a time we had a spam problem, so we received on the entire mailing list (there was a group, [CompanyName-ALL] which included every - single - person - in the company) the usual spam stuff, like suggestions for product to improve your manhood.

A guy, evidently wanting to make an in-joke with his team mates, replied putting in CC selected team mates, virtually insulting the spammers: "Ok, Warren, Chester and James  [the fake persons who were sending the mail], I've had enough. I don't have a small one, ok, you [homophobic slur]?? die all, DIE YOU AAAAALLLLL", including the iconic picture of Al Pacino in Scarface with his "little friend" in hand.

Small detail: In trying to forward the mail to selected team mates, he failed to remove the original recipient... what I said was that recipient? yeah. The "Every single person in the building" mailing list. Everyone got that mail where this dude claimed to the world his manhood was fine, wishing for some people to die gunned down. That was horribly awesome.
« Last Edit: January 18, 2018, 04:36:38 AM by MirrorMask »
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I just wanna say, stuff like this is why I never gossip about people at work with people at work. If I really need to vent about my stupid colleague, I either do it in person or, even better - with a friend who has nothing to do with the work place. Just seems wiser for a number of reasons.
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Offline MetalJunkie

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Glad it turned out how it did.

I almost did the same sort of thing with one of my co-workers, and I would have made myself look dumb at the same time.

To preface this, I work in an AT&T store. My mom came in to talk to me, but she was also having problems with her phone. I was busy with a customer so she got help from another one of my co-workers. I could see him from my table: he was dicking around the phone cluelessly and had no idea what he was doing. I was about to send my mom a text that said, "The guy helping you is as dumb as a box of rocks." I instantly remembered he was holding her phone, :facepalm: and I thankfully realized that was the case before I sent it.
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Offline wolfking

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I think this is the best occasion as any to share more wrong recipients horror stories  :lol

Two memorable ones from where I was working before... the first, which should teach us to not open two replies windows at once if you mix up the recipients - the team manager sends out the daily results, and someone, most evidently wanting to reply to another, personal mail, answers to everyone in the team (supervisors included) "Well, I look at pussy in a pr0n, or I go with whores which is even better"  :facepalm:

Another one even more memorable was sent to *everybody* - you see, for a time we had a spam problem, so we received on the entire mailing list (there was a group, [CompanyName-ALL] which included every - single - person - in the company) the usual spam stuff, like suggestions for product to improve your manhood.

A guy, evidently wanting to make an in-joke with his team mates, replied putting in CC selected team mates, virtually insulting the spammers: "Ok, Warren, Chester and James  [the fake persons who were sending the mail], I've had enough. I don't have a small one, ok, you [homophobic slur]?? die all, DIE YOU AAAAALLLLL", including the iconic picture of Al Pacino in Scarface with his "little friend" in hand.

Small detail: In trying to forward the mail to selected team mates, he failed to remove the original recipient... what I said was that recipient? yeah. The "Every single person in the building" mailing list. Everyone got that mail where this dude claimed to his world his manhood was fine, wishing for some people to die gunned down. That was horribly awesome.

Both of these are awesome and I'd have no problem with doing either one of these instead of what I did.  :lol

Glad it turned out how it did.

I almost did the same sort of thing with one of my co-workers, and I would have made myself look dumb at the same time.

To preface this, I work in an AT&T store. My mom came in to talk to me, but she was also having problems with her phone. I was busy with a customer so she got help from another one of my co-workers. I could see him from my table: he was dicking around the phone cluelessly and had no idea what he was doing. I was about to send my mom a text that said, "The guy helping you is as dumb as a box of rocks." I instantly remembered he was holding her phone, :facepalm: and I thankfully realized that was the case before I sent it.

haha.  That's the thing, it's this split second mind lapse or whatever that makes you do these things without thinking.  I still believe I did what I did.  I clicked on his name wrote the text and sent, WTF?!  It's been over 24 hours and I'm starting to come to terms with it.  :lol
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Offline bosk1

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Since others already said basically what I was going to say when I first checked the thread, I didn't bother to say anything.  But I'll go ahead and weight in and basically echo what Chad said:  You not only handled it appropriately, IMO, but you handled it about as perfectly as someone could once you are in that position after the fact.  If I were advising a client or doing a training on how a manager should respond, I would say that your response nailed it.  Well done.

As far as you getting into trouble, or the guy now being "bullet proof" or insulated from repercussions because of your initial mistake, I disagree with that premise.  Let's just concede for the sake of argument that you were a complete jerk for sending the text initially.  Even assuming that, you didn't do anything that, at least by our legal standards here, would be deemed legally inappropriate.  Not sure what the law says where you are, but I don't see anything legally problematic whatsoever that should get EEO or management on your back if they saw it.  The only caveat to that is whether there is a policy or an established (written or unwritten) corporate culture that basically says, "we never, ever treat our employees that way."  If that is the case, yeah, they can say that the way you acted wasn't in line with company policy.  But under the circumstances you described, I think even that is likely a stretch, and you have a good defense in terms of being frustrated about the guy not doing what he was supposed to do REPEATEDLY, and the difficult position that puts you in in terms of his REQUIRED paperwork not being turned in.  I guess basically what I am saying is, unless the laws are vastly different where you are, or there is something I am completely missing, I wouldn't act like this guy has something over you if you ever need to handle a situation with him.
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Offline cramx3

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Also, on a slightly different spin to the accidental text...

The Accidental Text on Purpose

What.....yours is cooler because of that fancy renaming the hyperlink deal?


this reminds me of the Curb your Enthusiasm episode from this past season where Larry intentionally sends a text meant for someone else to the wrong person.....the wrong person being the person he's complimenting to the 'intended' recipient.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kzO06_ot4o

LOL totally didnt see that

Offline wolfking

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Since others already said basically what I was going to say when I first checked the thread, I didn't bother to say anything.  But I'll go ahead and weight in and basically echo what Chad said:  You not only handled it appropriately, IMO, but you handled it about as perfectly as someone could once you are in that position after the fact.  If I were advising a client or doing a training on how a manager should respond, I would say that your response nailed it.  Well done.

As far as you getting into trouble, or the guy now being "bullet proof" or insulated from repercussions because of your initial mistake, I disagree with that premise.  Let's just concede for the sake of argument that you were a complete jerk for sending the text initially.  Even assuming that, you didn't do anything that, at least by our legal standards here, would be deemed legally inappropriate.  Not sure what the law says where you are, but I don't see anything legally problematic whatsoever that should get EEO or management on your back if they saw it.  The only caveat to that is whether there is a policy or an established (written or unwritten) corporate culture that basically says, "we never, ever treat our employees that way."  If that is the case, yeah, they can say that the way you acted wasn't in line with company policy.  But under the circumstances you described, I think even that is likely a stretch, and you have a good defense in terms of being frustrated about the guy not doing what he was supposed to do REPEATEDLY, and the difficult position that puts you in in terms of his REQUIRED paperwork not being turned in.  I guess basically what I am saying is, unless the laws are vastly different where you are, or there is something I am completely missing, I wouldn't act like this guy has something over you if you ever need to handle a situation with him.

Thanks bosk for this detailed reply.  First off, yeah, I'm really quite happy with how I handled it.  I was a man about it straight up and really there is no other way I would have done it, especially being a manager who works with a lot of different people and where words gets around.

As for getting in trouble, it seems today everything is fine and this staff member is now away for a week which is perfect.  I don't feel he has anything over me and am quite confident in my job and my level of superiority and respect amongst my fellow works and managers that it would be fine nevertheless, I told my manager right away about my actions and she was sweet and even we had a bit of a laugh cause she also knows the frustrations this guy has caused.

There is certainly no legal ramifications about my text by where I am they would hammer the code of conduct which is as you say the corporate culture.  One of the points in there is People and something along the lines of "We treat all our employee with fairness, respect and integrity" or something like that, so they could say it's a break in the conduct, but it's not a repeated offense, and I've never shown any negativity or malice towards him before, other than giving him a bit of a rev up about these quals, which is totally appropriate IMO.

Thanks again for the praise in my response boss, that means a lot.  I've been in my job for almost 9 years now and it's been a long road and I'm actually at a crossroads in my career life and what to do, because where I am there's really no where to go and I think honestly I could do better, but something like this has been a positive and shown that I can handle the type of role that I'm in (which I know cause I've been doing it for so long, but reinforcement is great) and that I'm growing as a leader which I think will help my confidence and perhaps strive for more or even perform my role better again.
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