Interesting OP!
Kade, you're the last guy I would expect to read an OP like that. But it was very cool, and thanks for sharing. I consider you one of my closer "internet pals" and I found what you said quite moving.
Didn't realize you had a long term girl. Have you guys considered getting married? Is that a thing?
What I thought about while reading and rereading your post is that as you grow up, you really start to realize what is important. Your life becomes it's own filter. Yet, it's natural to feel like maybe you've lost something along the way. And by that, I mean, at 33, you're never going to see 23 again. Realizing that can be a bit jarring.
It's great you have your partner with you. I know having my wife has really helped me a lot.
Me, I'm not social in a sense like I get all personal with people at work. There was a time when I was younger where I might have, but you learn that isn't really a great idea. But I am easy to talk to if you want to talk about music, sports, that kind of thing. I've worked at my company for a long time and have a good reputation.
I'm also generally put off by the type of person that says, "I am who I am and if you don't like it too bad." Or "I'm just being honest." Being cool to people is not pandering. It's fine to guard against assholes in your life, but we are really all in this together, no?
Thanks for the kind words Tim. Yeah, I know it would have come as a shock, and really, by meeting me, you wouldn't know I would have any sort of issues like this. Not that's it's an issue, cause it ain't, as you say it's one of those natural things as you get older, and we all come to these times in life of self reflection. Sometimes sorrow, regret and feelings of lonliness happen to everyone.
I'm pretty private most of the time, but yeah, we've been together a long time, but we're happy how it is and aren't really looking at marriage or anything at this stage. My perception on life and the world changes too and I have the opinion that getting married isn't an essential thing that two people need to be happy together. I know it's an debate for another time but understand why people see that as a strange view.
The line you wrote that as I grew up I realize what is important, I guess that's true and a natural part of growing up. I've always been mature for my age when I was younger and I guess that shows now. I've had to with my job too, I'm supervising quite a few people 10-20 years older, so you learn and adapt to what's around you to.
Forming friendships at work you are correct, it has burnt me in the past and I've learnt to have a line that doesn't get crossed. Just difficult that work is my main focus and occupies most of my time. I'd love to try and join a band again and meet some people that share what we have on here cause I consider you and the other boys great close internet friends too.
I like that last line too. You can be who you are but there's no need to be a blatant asshole.