Poll

Which is you:

Want to have kids
15 (18.5%)
Don't want to have kids
34 (42%)
Already Have kids
32 (39.5%)

Total Members Voted: 81

Author Topic: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids  (Read 3205 times)

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Offline cramx3

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #35 on: July 11, 2017, 10:05:05 AM »
I definitely want kids. Two ideally.

I'll probably name one Stadler, and one Kotowboy.
Not, Tick? :'(

Yea seriously, no cramxchild?  Im offended  :biggrin:

Offline axeman90210

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #36 on: July 11, 2017, 10:08:14 AM »
If I ever get around to meeting someone and settling down I'd like to have one.
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Offline Stadler

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #37 on: July 11, 2017, 10:09:45 AM »
I think about that too, like "what kind of world would my child be growing up in?" but that question is always going to be there and I don't think I can let it affect my decision.  Who knows, maybe it is your child that makes the world better.  However, the part about people who just have kids to have kids and know little to nothing about the rest of the world and how their decisions impact it also bothers me too.

I think about this a lot, and I came down on this:
- The world may be a fucked up place, but it's an existential threat.   Geezer Butler was writing about nuclear holocausts back in 1970, and we're almost 50 years on and we're still kicking.   I think about my step-grandson, who is cared for 24 hours a day by two loving parents, and then I compare with what I've learned in putting my family tree together (three of my great-grandparents had seven or more kids, and all had at least two not survive past the age of three) so in many ways the world in which Cram, Jr. will be born is far better than it ever has been in the history of mankind.   

I also think of "changes"; whether it's kids or something else, it's naïve to think we are going to be able to live out the remaining years on this planet without some life-altering change.  Illness, loss of loved one, child birth, job loss, erectile dysfunction... and we adapt.  We accommodate our circumstances.   With kids, I was not able to play softball five nights a week, but I did play one or two, and it was acceptable.  I didn't get drunk as often (though the ex wife found a way; grrr.).   But in exchange, I now get to take my kid to concerts (she loved Kiss, and after I showed her a picture of the Powerslave tour stage set, she wants to see Iron Maiden).   It's all a trade off, like any other you have in life, and only you can make it.   

For those without kids, I salute you, and for those with kids, I salute you.   

Offline Stadler

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #38 on: July 11, 2017, 10:12:45 AM »
I definitely want kids. Two ideally.

I'll probably name one Stadler, and one Kotowboy.
Not, Tick? :'(

Yea seriously, no cramxchild?  Im offended  :biggrin:

Say it doesn't matter ain't nothin' gonna alter the course of my destination.
I know I've got to find some serious piece of mind, or I know I'll go crazy.

But now I spend my time looking all around,
For a man thats nowhere to be found.
Until I find him I'm never gonna stop searching,
I'm gonna find my man, gonna travel around.

'Cause I'm a Cramxchild, well I'm a Cramxchild!
 Yeah I'm a Cramxchild. I'm coming to get you, oh yeah!


I heard Bruce (who has been known to sing "Can I Make a Sandwich!" for "Can I Play With Madness!") is singing it this way on the current tour.  :)



Offline cramx3

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #39 on: July 11, 2017, 10:14:50 AM »
He better be singing it that way next week  :rollin

Offline TAC

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #40 on: July 11, 2017, 10:45:08 AM »
I'd rather that than have to sit through the "mum and dad sex" speech before Children Of The Damned. Bruce please.

  and after I showed her a picture of the Powerslave tour stage set, she wants to see Iron Maiden)

My son is coming with me to the show.
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
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Offline Samsara

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #41 on: July 11, 2017, 11:20:35 AM »
My wife and I have a little girl. Joy of our life, but no joke, it is a challenge, as many told us. She's a good one though.

I never thought I'd have kids. Glad I changed my mind. Best decision ever, although it does change your life completely if you're doing a good job (hope I am!)

She's old enough now to appreciate some concerts. Took her to see TSO, and she's going with us to both Dream Theater's I&W tour (she loves the album) and Foo Fighters. But we have to be very careful. Obviously, the heavier stuff is a no-no. As are club shows and the like. Has to be seated theater or arena, and fairly clean (I'm sure Dave Grohl will be cursing like mad though - lol).

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #42 on: July 11, 2017, 07:44:17 PM »
Right now I don't want kids and at this point don't even know if I want to get married. I'm a very solitary person and the thought of being responsible for someone else besides myself just doesn't appeal to me at the moment. It doesn't help that children annoy me. I'm still very young (I'm only 23) so that may change, but for now, I don't see children in my future.
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Offline lordxizor

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #43 on: July 11, 2017, 08:33:40 PM »
I have 3 boys age 2, 6 and 8. They are mostly awesome, but also very frustrating.  I wouldn't give them up for anything.

Offline Adami

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #44 on: July 11, 2017, 08:43:38 PM »
I definitely want kids. Two ideally.

I'll probably name one Stadler, and one Kotowboy.
Not, Tick? :'(

Yea seriously, no cramxchild?  Im offended  :biggrin:

Sorry dudes, only two kids. :( If I end up having more kids, you guys know they're named after you.
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Offline JayOctavarium

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #45 on: July 11, 2017, 11:05:52 PM »
I wanted them. Now I don't know.

The girl I was with from Highschool up till I was 20 and I wanted them. She wanted nothing more than to be a mother and start a family. I grew into the idea (helped that I spent a lot of time with her young cousins / her young stepsiblings). Marriage and kids were our plan. But both ideas kinda died when our relationship died.

Now... in my current relationship.. I don't see us (myself mainly) in anyplace mentally or financially for kids. My GF wants them. So.. I don't know.
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

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Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #46 on: July 12, 2017, 05:12:52 AM »
I definitely want kids. Two ideally.

I'll probably name one Stadler, and one Kotowboy.

Fuck you. I thought we had something.


Offline Podaar

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #47 on: July 12, 2017, 09:09:44 AM »
I had always felt that I would've been OK not having kids.  That I didn't need them to be fulfilled. I actually feel like that would've been the case.


I went through a few changes after having kids. I suddenly became a worrier. Pre kids TAC was definitely NOT a worrier. Also, I cannot and will not watch ANY story that has a kidnapping or a child's murder as a plot line. It literally makes me sick.

As much as I love both Stephen King and Liam Neeson, the scene in "Pet Sematary" with the little shoe bouncing across the road is unwatchable for me now (I'm getting choked just typing this, no lie) and "Taken" had me arming myself for combat in the living room while I watched it.

Yeah, my son was two years old when I read Pet Sematary. I was sick for a week after reading that scene and, like you, it makes me all teary eyed just thinking about it now.

Five kids here. Two biological and three adopted. All are grown to adults and providing for themselves. Raising kids was one of the great joys of my life, but spending time with them as adults is orders of magnitude better! They're great company, fun to talk with and a riot to party with.

I'm pretty fortunate, I think.

Offline Adami

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #48 on: July 12, 2017, 01:57:59 PM »
I definitely want kids. Two ideally.

I'll probably name one Stadler, and one Kotowboy.

Fuck you. I thought we had something.




Sorry, feels weird to name kids after their mother.
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Offline El Barto

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #49 on: July 12, 2017, 02:04:37 PM »
Five kids here. Two biological and three adopted. All are grown to adults and providing for themselves. Raising kids was one of the great joys of my life, but spending time with them as adults is orders of magnitude better! They're great company, fun to talk with and a riot to party with.

I'm pretty fortunate, I think.
Yeah, my old man and I hit it off far better now than when I was a young lad. I was never a big fan of the every other week visitation thing growing up, and it took a while for me to turn halfway respectable. Somewhere around 30 or so he decided I was an alright guy and we started getting along on a social level. Much better in my book, and I'm pretty sure he'd agree completely.
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Offline lonestar

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #50 on: July 12, 2017, 09:36:50 PM »
Got one, she's 23 and living the life she wants in the big apple. I can't imagine anything that makes me happier than knowing she is doing exactly what she worked so hard for.
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So should lonestar and I have babies or something now, is that how this works?
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Offline MrBoom_shack-a-lack

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #51 on: July 13, 2017, 04:12:05 AM »
I have 2 sisters and 3 halfsisters all older then me and i'm 35. Everyone has kids in various ages and even some of their "kids" have children. The funny thing is that my oldest halvsisters oldest kid is one year younger than me. It's a bit weird I know.  :lol So what i'm saying is i've been surrounded by kids all my life basically and I work as a teacher so yea. I'm the last of my siblings to not have kids yet but honestly I don't feel the urge to get one either, atleast that's basically how I felt up until a year ago.
My closest older sister got her first kid a year ago and because we live pretty close to eachother we have visited eachother alot and i've watched him grow more than any other kid I know. He's at that sweet time when he's just learned to walk and wants to talk but hasn't learned it yet. He's the most adorable and happy little kid i've ever encountered and when you see him his smile will melt any worry away pretty much.  :heart

Having him around makes me feel a bit sad that I don't have kids myself but yea I also know how tough it is to raise kids and everything that comes with it.

There were times when Rik and I were writing together when we almost died laughing. They were some of the most carefree stupid days I ever had, and I feel privileged to have shared them with him. And now he's died for real. Without me. Selfish bastard.

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Offline wolfking

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #52 on: July 13, 2017, 04:54:24 AM »
I have never wanted children.  33 and still feel that way.

Offline ReaperKK

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #53 on: July 13, 2017, 05:15:03 AM »
Turning 31 soon and I've never wanted kids. My last relationship I had we ended things simply because I don't want children. I like the freedom I have not having children.

Offline Stadler

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #54 on: July 13, 2017, 07:15:55 AM »
I watched my kid drive away today to go to work, her first time driving without an adult in the car with her.  I stood there like a jack ass with tears rolling down my face as the car drove down the street.   If that's not a metaphor for life with kids, I don't know what is.   

Couldn't be happier or prouder of her.   I know she's not perfect - no one is - but even with that caveat, I wouldn't change a thing about her. 

Offline Dublagent66

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #55 on: July 13, 2017, 02:39:16 PM »
Don't want kids, never did and too old now to change my mind.  Besides, the world is over populated enough as it is.
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Offline Tick

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #56 on: July 13, 2017, 02:52:07 PM »
My 16 year daughter is pure awesome! I can't imagine if my wife and I never had a child. She is an incredible kid on every level.
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Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #57 on: July 13, 2017, 06:13:20 PM »
I definitely want kids. Two ideally.

I'll probably name one Stadler, and one Kotowboy.

Fuck you. I thought we had something.




Sorry, feels weird to name kids after their mother.

I didn't think Adami was a feminine name, just a feminine representation.  :P

Offline Hyperplex

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #58 on: July 13, 2017, 08:26:55 PM »

I can't imagine being any luckier....

And as for the remarks about the world our kids will have, while the point is very valid, very real, and very concerning, I think Tolkien might have summed it up best in Return of the King:

“It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule.”
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Offline Adami

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #59 on: July 13, 2017, 08:28:56 PM »
I definitely want kids. Two ideally.

I'll probably name one Stadler, and one Kotowboy.

Fuck you. I thought we had something.




Sorry, feels weird to name kids after their mother.

I didn't think Adami was a feminine name, just a feminine representation.  :P

Oddly enough, the only other Adami I've heard of was from Star Trek DS9, where it was.....a woman. And a lot of times when people hear my name without seeing me, they assume I'm a girl.
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Offline TAC

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #60 on: July 13, 2017, 08:32:41 PM »
Awesome pic, Hype!
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
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Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #61 on: July 13, 2017, 09:02:54 PM »
I definitely want kids. Two ideally.

I'll probably name one Stadler, and one Kotowboy.

Fuck you. I thought we had something.




Sorry, feels weird to name kids after their mother.

I didn't think Adami was a feminine name, just a feminine representation.  :P

Oddly enough, the only other Adami I've heard of was from Star Trek DS9, where it was.....a woman. And a lot of times when people hear my name without seeing me, they assume I'm a girl.

It's not odd at all. It all makes perfect sense.  ;D

Online SwedishGoose

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #62 on: July 14, 2017, 04:33:22 AM »
Got a 17 years old son and a 10 years old daughter. Could not imagine my life without them.

Offline DebraKadabra

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #63 on: July 14, 2017, 04:21:15 PM »
I've known for a fairly long time that I wasn't going to bear children of my own. If anything, my plan would have been to adopt as opposed to giving birth simply because there's so many children in the system that, for whatever reason, are seemingly ignored in favor of newborns.

Part of this for me was to break an abusive cycle but as a child growing up I reasoned that I didn't want any potential children to go through what I did during my parents' divorce. I was 6 when the papers were signed, but my dad had already moved out and was seeing who would become my first stepmother a few weeks prior to the actual finalization. Long story short, I took an instant dislike to her and they eventually ended up splitting up too. Anyway, even in 1976 with divorce being prevalent it still affected me in elementary school for the various parent/child days - my mother couldn't be bothered unless we (my brother and I) were outright failing and Dad couldn't be there or else face the wrath of his ex-wife.

That's not to say that I never got a shot at parenting, though. When Wey and I got together I was fully aware of his daughters and son. I still haven't met his son, but his two daughters pretty much still say that I'm their second mother. I just gave them the respect and kindness that I was rarely shown while growing up with a narcissist parent. Hell, his younger daughter is back in Austin and living with me for right now.

I know that I would have been a great parent. I just always knew that bearing children of my own wasn't going to happen and at 47, it would be dangerous to me and the fetus if I tried. Plus, with PCOS it's difficult if not impossible to even get pregnant in the first place. I do love kids. I'm just too selfish to have them.

Offline black_biff_stadler

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #64 on: July 14, 2017, 06:59:44 PM »
If I ever knock someone up I'm aborting myself.
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Offline kingshmegland

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #65 on: July 14, 2017, 08:27:57 PM »
If I ever knock someone up I'm aborting myself.

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Offline black_biff_stadler

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #66 on: July 16, 2017, 12:01:33 AM »
I'll let 'em play my organic harmonica til I John Popper all over 'em.
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Offline TAC

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #67 on: July 16, 2017, 06:25:32 AM »
I didn't think you could get a dude pregnant, though.
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #68 on: July 16, 2017, 06:54:08 AM »
Besides, the world is over populated enough as it is.

Yeah, but you having one child or not is not going to change that. Western world isn't exactly overpopulating, with the average child birth between a couple is less than 2 (ie, a reduction, since two people bring forth less). That's not really an argument not to have kids.

---

I do want to have kids some day, but since I just graduated (like, literally, two weeks ago) after 7 years of studying, starting a job next september, now is absolutely not the time for that. I'll see in 5 years. My girlfriend thinks before she turns 30 would be a good time, that still gives 6 years for her (and me) to get our lives on track.

So yeah, I do want to, but can't have them at this point in my life.
Hey dude slow the fuck down so we can finish together at the same time.  :biggrin:
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Offline black_biff_stadler

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Re: Do you want kids, don't want to have kids or have kids
« Reply #69 on: July 16, 2017, 12:31:47 PM »
Besides, the world is over populated enough as it is.

Yeah, but you having one child or not is not going to change that. Western world isn't exactly overpopulating, with the average child birth between a couple is less than 2 (ie, a reduction, since two people bring forth less). That's not really an argument not to have kids.

That's splitting hairs. Just cuz one couple doesn't contribute to the problem it doesn't mean that the problem isn't continually occurring or worsening. Also, I've lived in three metropolitan areas in my life and all of them have daily traffic jams and parts of town where occupants are packed like sardines into apartment complexes.

That last problem is probably more of a result of the fact that lower income people generally get cast away to the least desirable living arrangements in most societies. But with all the ecological problems plaguing the Earth coupled with the fact that we'd be in some real shit if this country ever reached an Indian or Chinese level of population density since it's a nearly irreversible problem at that point, it's probably best to keep the population growth modest.
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