Author Topic: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes  (Read 14982 times)

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Offline TheSilentHam

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #140 on: April 18, 2017, 06:27:32 PM »
Yeah we we're late because she blew a tranny in Charlotte
« Last Edit: April 19, 2017, 05:05:31 AM by TheSilentHam »

Offline gmillerdrake

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #141 on: April 18, 2017, 07:22:57 PM »
She looks great on the surface but when you get under the hood it's nothing but random leaks and rough rides
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Offline jingle.boy

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #142 on: April 18, 2017, 07:28:41 PM »
<awaits re-use of the corn-holed Corolla, though Coz has license on it>

She sure can haul ass.

I really wanted the compact, but ended up settling on the full-sized.

Sure the monthly payments are thru the roof - it's a good thing that my dad, brother and both sisters can make good use of her.

At her age, when the top is down, it's actually quite embarrassing.

I put her away in storage for the winter, and never take her out in bad weather.

It's a little tight in the back, but most of my buddies aren't that big anyway.
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Offline Podaar

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #143 on: April 19, 2017, 08:52:34 AM »
Well, it worked for me before, so:

Last winter, three Mexicans in a Toyota cornholed her on the interstate and barely left a mark.

Offline Podaar

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #144 on: April 19, 2017, 08:56:56 AM »
I just bought her.

She's only five years old.

She may be old but she's made a lot of money for me. I almost hate to trade her in for a newer one.

I've had to eat a lot of Top Ramen to be able to afford her.

I hate that I chose black. I just can't keep her clean!

Don't laugh, Buddy. That sucker's turbocharged.

It's not the years that wore her down. It's the mileage.

Offline gmillerdrake

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #145 on: April 19, 2017, 09:06:58 AM »
Once she gets to top speed....she gets real shaky and makes all sorts of crazy noises....then BOOM.....fluid everywhere....

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Offline gmillerdrake

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #146 on: April 19, 2017, 10:28:17 AM »
Sure, she has a stick which can be a surprise but once you play with it for a little bit it actually is quite fun.
Without Faith.....Without Hope.....There can be No Peace of Mind

Offline jingle.boy

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #147 on: April 19, 2017, 11:05:37 AM »
Well, it worked for me before, so:

Last winter, three Mexicans in a Toyota cornholed her on the interstate and barely left a mark.

Son-of-a... I coulda swore it was Coz that dropped that one - I got mixed up because it was his topic.   :blush

BTW, best 'scene' ever.  Ever.


Oh that? Don't worry, it makes those noises every once and a while.  It's not the sound that catches you off guard ... it's the smell.

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Offline Podaar

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #148 on: April 19, 2017, 11:17:47 AM »
Well, it worked for me before, so:

Last winter, three Mexicans in a Toyota cornholed her on the interstate and barely left a mark.

Son-of-a... I coulda swore it was Coz that dropped that one - I got mixed up because it was his topic.   :blush


That's kinda what I figured. No worries.

Offline jingle.boy

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #149 on: April 19, 2017, 11:35:03 AM »
When she starts making any kind of noise, I just turn the radio up so I don't have to hear it.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2017, 02:22:17 PM by jingle.boy »
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Offline soupytwist

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #150 on: April 19, 2017, 02:19:34 PM »
To be honest I prefer riding my bike thesedays.

I call her Carlett Johansson.

My Dad got me her for my 18th birthday.

Ah shit, locked my keys inside her again.

Think its time for a wax.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2017, 02:37:04 PM by soupytwist »

Offline Snow Dog

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #151 on: April 20, 2017, 10:19:07 PM »

At her age, when the top is down, it's actually quite embarrassing.


Some really good ones this round, but one got me good. You're up, jingle!

Offline jingle.boy

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #152 on: April 21, 2017, 06:03:41 AM »
STANDINGS

jingle.boy   38
gmillerdrake   35
lonestar   25
kingshmegland   16
Tempusvox   14
Sir GuitarCozmo   11
Podaar   11
BlobVanDam   8
El Barto   7
masterthes   6
Zydar   6
TheLordOfTheStrings   5
MetalJunkie   5
Jonnybaxy   4
LeeHarveyKennedy   4
DebraKadabra   3
JayOctavarium   3
Master Cup-Zula   3
millahh   3
Mister Gold   3
Prog Snob   3
Scorpion   3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827   2
bout to crash   2
contest_sanity   2
Cool Chris   2
FlyingBIZKIT   2
Jaffa   2
robwebster   2
Ruba   2
TheSilentHam   2
Cedar-redaC   1
chknptpie   1
der Ruhige Schinken   1
Fiery Winds   1
FlyingBIZKIT   1
Ħ   1
Jamesman   1
Lolzeez   1
Lucien   1
Pols Voice   1
Ravenheart   1
soundgarden   1
Super Star Wars   1
Snow Dog 1

Today's Scene:

You're an HR Manager.  Finish the one sentence return letter "Thank you for submitting your application, however .... "
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Offline Podaar

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #153 on: April 21, 2017, 07:16:29 AM »
"...we must reject hiring you because you give us the creeps, you gender confused, racially ambiguous, fucking retard."

Offline gmillerdrake

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #154 on: April 21, 2017, 07:42:23 AM »
"Says here you're Canadian.....and we just 'do' Canadian"
Without Faith.....Without Hope.....There can be No Peace of Mind

Offline Snow Dog

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #155 on: April 21, 2017, 07:57:14 AM »
"...we must reject hiring you because you give us the creeps, you gender confused, racially ambiguous, fucking retard."

Signed,

The White House

Offline vtgrad

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #156 on: April 21, 2017, 08:27:56 AM »
"we will not be able, or willing, to publish your editorial poetry at this time.  The staffing members that reviewed your tripe are seriously considering legal action against you and your word processor for wasting our time.  "Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at THESE" is not considered poetry, nor is "My heart fills with sorrow, like the height of Kilimanjaro."

Sincerely considering legal action or suicide,

The Wall Street Journal
"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man."  Ecclesiastes 12:13

Now with Twitler taking a high end steak of this caliber and insulting the cow that died for it by having it well done just shows zero respect for the product, which falls right in line with the amount of respect he shows for pretty much everything else.- Lonestar

Offline TempusVox

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #157 on: April 22, 2017, 02:44:17 PM »
"...we will not be considering you now, or in the future, for any position with our firm. Considering the extraordinary number of applications we receive each day, we typically do not respond with rejection letters of this kind. However, in your case we decided to make an exception. A couple of points that we feel may help you in the future when trying to seek gainful employment are noted as follows:

1. We do not consider Amazon feedback to be a reliable example of "critical thinking".
2. We do not now, or in the future expect to hire someone who can "make strawberry Quick for the entire office".
3. eBay feedback is not a relevant reference.
4. Likewise, "the people at DTF can vouch for me" shouldn't be considered either.
5. During the gaps of employment on your resume, it doesn't fool anyone when you say, "I was a secret spy, and am prevented by law of discussing this period in my life."
6. Your "DTF post count" is not considered an acceptable measureable accomplishment.
7. On our application when we ask "What are you most proud of?" we are actually referencing career accomplishments. "My dick girth", is not an acceptable answer on so many levels.

We wish you the best in all of your future endeavors and suggest that perhaps a job at Subway, or maybe even an enlistment in the French Foreign Legion might prove to be a better fit for you.

Regards, HR"
« Last Edit: April 22, 2017, 11:18:48 PM by TempusVox »
You don't HAVE a soul.You ARE a soul.You HAVE a body.
"I came here to drink milk and kick ass; and I just finished my milk."

Offline Snow Dog

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #158 on: April 22, 2017, 06:14:22 PM »
"...even we here at Brazzers have a reputation to uphold, and thus, will not be hiring you, as nobody fantasizes about a Donald Trump/Rosie O'Donnell scene as you suggest."

Offline soupytwist

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #159 on: April 24, 2017, 05:47:29 AM »
Thank you for submitting your application, however ....Zack, we here at DC Comics would like to try and make a good movie this time.
--
Thank you for submitting your application, however ....we feel that to be a Ms World Judge "My Dick" is not a suitable answer to "What do you look for in the models".
--
Thank you for submitting your application, however ....after very briefly glancing at a one of the pictures you included, I feel you aren't playmate material.
PS Apologies for the vomit stain, I accidentally glanced again.
--
Thank you for submitting your application, however ....being pig ugly is not a proper mutation and more likely caused by bad genes, so sadly we will have to reject your application for becoming an X-Men.
Your Sincerely,
Professor Charles Xavier
--



Offline jingle.boy

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #160 on: April 24, 2017, 08:48:53 AM »
4. Likewise, "the people at DTF can vouch for me" shouldn't be considered either.
6. Your "DTF post count" is not considered an acceptable measureable accomplishment.

I beg to differ.  However, your 7-for-1 submission takes it.
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Offline RoeDent

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #161 on: April 24, 2017, 11:35:18 AM »
"...we will not be considering you now, or in the future, for any position with our firm. Considering the extraordinary number of applications we receive each day, we typically do not respond with rejection letters of this kind. However, in your case we decided to make an exception. A couple of points that we feel may help you in the future when trying to seek gainful employment are noted as follows:

1. We do not consider Amazon feedback to be a reliable example of "critical thinking".
2. We do not now, or in the future expect to hire someone who can "make strawberry Quick for the entire office".
3. eBay feedback is not a relevant reference.
4. Likewise, "the people at DTF can vouch for me" shouldn't be considered either.
5. During the gaps of employment on your resume, it doesn't fool anyone when you say, "I was a secret spy, and am prevented by law of discussing this period in my life."
6. Your "DTF post count" is not considered an acceptable measureable accomplishment.
7. On our application when we ask "What are you most proud of?" we are actually referencing career accomplishments. "My dick girth", is not an acceptable answer on so many levels.

We wish you the best in all of your future endeavors and suggest that perhaps a job at Subway, or maybe even an enlistment in the French Foreign Legion might prove to be a better fit for you.

Regards, HR"

:clap: Yep. This wins. This wins everything.
*smash cut to a bleached white skeleton*

Offline TempusVox

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #162 on: April 26, 2017, 09:41:54 PM »
Wow! Muchos gracias...and sorry for the delay...

STANDINGS

jingle.boy   38
gmillerdrake   35
lonestar   25
kingshmegland   16
Tempusvox   15
Sir GuitarCozmo   11
Podaar   11
BlobVanDam   8
El Barto   7
masterthes   6
Zydar   6
TheLordOfTheStrings   5
MetalJunkie   5
Jonnybaxy   4
LeeHarveyKennedy   4
DebraKadabra   3
JayOctavarium   3
Master Cup-Zula   3
millahh   3
Mister Gold   3
Prog Snob   3
Scorpion   3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827   2
bout to crash   2
contest_sanity   2
Cool Chris   2
FlyingBIZKIT   2
Jaffa   2
robwebster   2
Ruba   2
TheSilentHam   2
Cedar-redaC   1
chknptpie   1
der Ruhige Schinken   1
Fiery Winds   1
FlyingBIZKIT   1
Ħ   1
Jamesman   1
Lolzeez   1
Lucien   1
Pols Voice   1
Ravenheart   1
soundgarden   1
Super Star Wars   1
Snow Dog 1

Today's Scene:

Bad first drafts of famous movie lines
« Last Edit: April 26, 2017, 09:50:51 PM by TempusVox »
You don't HAVE a soul.You ARE a soul.You HAVE a body.
"I came here to drink milk and kick ass; and I just finished my milk."

Offline Snow Dog

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #163 on: April 26, 2017, 09:48:52 PM »
"Frankly, you wretched, soulless cunt, I give precisely zero fucks..."

"We'll always have Sheboygan."

Offline jingle.boy

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #164 on: April 26, 2017, 10:10:36 PM »
Luke... who's your daddy?

Mama always said life is like a box of liquorice - no one likes black

Jesus Christ, what's that smell?  Napalm??  We gotta wake up to fucking napalm?

And Ryan, careful what you shoot at - there are nuclear fucking warheads in there!
Dream Theater Forums: Expanding musical tastes and shrinking wallets since 2009.
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I'm actually disappointed he's not Kim Jong-Il

Offline soupytwist

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #165 on: April 27, 2017, 01:34:35 AM »
I think we will require a larger ocean going vessel.

You've Got To Ask Yourself One Question: 'Do I Feel lucky?' Well, Do Ya, Ruffian?

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a Jean-Claude.

I'm KING of the Wooooooooooorlddddddd   *SPLASH

Offline RoeDent

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #166 on: April 27, 2017, 04:07:08 AM »
"GOOOOOOD MORNING LLANFAIRPWLLGWYNGYLLGOGERYCHWYRNDROBWLLLLANTISILIOGOGOGOOOOOOOCH!!!"
*smash cut to a bleached white skeleton*

Offline masterthes

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #167 on: April 27, 2017, 04:26:19 AM »
I'm going to make him an offer he probably will refuse

Offline gmillerdrake

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #168 on: April 27, 2017, 07:02:56 AM »
You want the truth? You could probably handle the truth with a detailed five minute conversation.
Without Faith.....Without Hope.....There can be No Peace of Mind

Offline jingle.boy

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #169 on: April 27, 2017, 01:22:08 PM »
Toto, where the fuck are we?

That's not a fake orgasm; This is a fake orgasm....
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Offline Podaar

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #170 on: April 27, 2017, 04:03:15 PM »
"ENGLISH, DOO-DOO HEAD, DO YOU SPEAK IT!"

Offline jingle.boy

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #171 on: April 27, 2017, 05:36:34 PM »
You... complete me.  Now how 'bout completing a blowie for once?

It's not a tumor you little shit.
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Offline jingle.boy

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #172 on: April 27, 2017, 05:41:11 PM »
Bitch, put the fuckin lotion on before I hose you down again like Rosa Parks gettin off a bus.
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Offline TAC

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #173 on: April 27, 2017, 06:48:32 PM »
You want the truth? You could probably handle the truth with a detailed five minute conversation.

Did you order the Code Pink?
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
Winger Theater Forums................or WTF.  ;D

Offline gmillerdrake

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Re: Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes
« Reply #174 on: April 27, 2017, 07:07:41 PM »
Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty Hominoidea!
Without Faith.....Without Hope.....There can be No Peace of Mind