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Thanks, guys!
"But Orbert, what about the drama? We miss the drama which only your band can provide!"The gig at Austin's Fuel Room was our biggest gig yet, despite being less than an hour set. It was the largest, nicest room so far, and gave us great exposure. John got a call the next day; some guy saw us and wanted us to play this weekend, but we currently don't have a full lineup, because it was also the end of an era of sorts. It was our last gig with Pat, who joined the band in February on guitar and vocals, replacing Steve. It was our second gig with Jessica, added recently to help bolster our vocals. She's been a great addition to our sound overall, even if I was philosophically opposed to her joining in the first place.
But when Pat gave his notice, we began the search for another singer/guitarist, had a few leads, both of which fell through, and John made the decision to focus on guitar skills, with vocals a nice plus. Jessica would have to step up her role, and John and I would sing more, perhaps even some leads. We found a great guitarist named Larry, who told us up front that he'll sing backgrounds if we think it'll help, but he's not a great singer and if we already have three parts covered, we're better off without him.
Because John is a businessman and the band has always been run more like a project at work than a "regular" band (whatever that is), we kicked off the new era with a meeting at his house last Saturday. The agenda included future direction of the band in general, how the dynamics and roles have changed, which songs on the current set list to drop, which to keep, and new ones to vote on adding.
We all thought that Anne and Jessica got along fine. Anne and Jessica thought they got alone fine. This meeting showed that that's not necessarily the case. Anne has always sung around 70% of the songs. She can't sing lead on every song for three hours, and having another singer gives her a break as well as adding variety to the set list. This is by design. Steve sang 1/4 to 1/3 of the songs, and so did Pat. Since Larry doesn't sing lead vocals, we discussed how the aforementioned redistribution of vocal dutes would work.
Anne has a problem with this. Even though what she's actually doing in the band will not change (she'll still sing around 70% of the songs, more if she wants), the fact that Jessica is now also going to be a lead singer bothers her. Why? It wasn't a problem when Steve sang leads, and it wasn't a problem when Pat sang leads. What's different?
The difference is that Jessica is
only a singer. Anne will do lead and background vocals, Jessica will do lead and background vocals. Anne will still be our front person and lead singer. Her role is not changing. But she wants to be
the lead singer. The only one. Fucking seriously? Ego? Now? When we're on the fucking verge of really, really making it big? It was okay with her when Steve or Pat was singing because they were also playing guitar. Maybe she's so insecure that she imagines that eventually we'll just want Jessica and not her (not likely -- Jessica is good but not nearly as good as Anne). Maybe it's because Jessica is also female. Anne has always gotten along better with the guys than with other girls. Some girls are that way. Not a problem... until it becomes a problem.
So she's all upset, and we're trying to get her to articulate exactly why, and she's having trouble getting to it (what I just wrote above is my summary of what we managed to drag out of her over the course of 15 or 20 minutes). We assure her that she's still our "main" lead singer, she's still the face of the band, the front person, and then in an incredible display of stupidity, Jessica pipes up "Wait a minute, I'm a front person, too. I mean, I'm right up front, too, right next to her." Jane, you ignorant slut! You were hired as a background singer. You were told you could sing lead on one or two songs, so your friends could come see you and cheer for you. But you were never a front person, and you're not a front person just because you stand on the front line. The drummer, bassist and I are the back line, the guitarists and singers are front line, because this is Rock and Roll and this is how it works and this is what looks cool. But you're not the front person any more than the guitarists are. There can be only one.
I didn't say any of this, because there are seven people in the band and at least four of them were already talking. JT is amazed by this and gets up to grab something to drink or something. Then he comes back and we see how incredibly mad he really is. "I have played in dozens of bands the past 30 years, and almost none of them had the talent that this band has. But every one of those bands broke up because of one thing: Ego! There is no room for that. There is what's best for the band, and that is what you do, and if you don't like that, you can leave!" He's not speaking to anyone in particular, just venting, but his words are true, and we all know it. We all enjoy playing in the band, but we all have things we want to get out of it, therefore every single one of us must compromise, at least a little. I just wish he hadn't said the part about leaving if you can't deal with it, because it looked to me like Anne was about to quit. She's sitting there crying, and feels like everyone's ganging up on her. We're really just trying to talk sense, but when you have three or four people all doing that at once, let's face it, it's ganging up. Jessica has chosen the worst possible time for her little power play, and is sitting looking somewhere between defiant and confused by how much commotion it's caused.
JT leaves. He cannot calm down enough to stay in the room and deal with this level of stupidity. His position has always been "I'm merely the drummer" which sounds like a cop out, but in fact it has helped on more than one occassion. He really doesn't care what we play or where we play. Somebody make the call, and he'll learn the songs. After nearly three years with us, we've worked this out and it's fine. He'll be fine; he just needs to calm down.
Jessica has to be somewhere and has to leave at Noon. We knew this going in. It's almost Noon now, so she starts gathering her stuff. Jerry, who has always been the mellowist, most laid-back person in the band, says he hopes we can figure this out, because right now he's about 50-50 regarding whether this is worth it. He loves the band, thinks we're great, but all this bickering and behind-the-scenes shit really bothers him. This surprises me because he's
never let on that that was the case, not until now.
The meeting is apparently over. Jerry and Larry get up to leave, and John walks them to the door (and presumably takes the opportunity to say something to each of them). This leaves Anne and me in the room. Anne's still sitting there, no longer crying but still visibly upset. I go over and give her a hug. We've reached this point; at gigs and practices we greet each other with a hug and say goodbye with a hug. For me, it both reinforces bonds and serves a completely selfish purpose; I think Anne is hot and hell yes I'll take the opportunity to hug her. But standing up and hugging someone while they're sitting down is a little awkward, so she stands up and turns to face me and goes to continue the hug. Just as we're leaning into each other, I see her face.
Oh shit! It's that face.You see it in movies and bad TV shows. A mix of realization, resignation, vulnerability, and uncertainty all at once. Two people, just friends until this moment, and then the look crosses one or both of their faces, and they start making out. Depending on the circumstances, clothes might start coming off (which is always hilarious to watch, especially if they try to do this without releasing liplock). But this is not the face I wanted to see. In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have been surprised. She and her boyfriend broke up a few weeks ago, and the last couple of practices, when I asked her how she's doing, she's actually told me. Not great. Adjusting. Getting used to being alone again. And it can be tough at our age. I've tried to be a good friend to her, not just because I like her and genuinely care about her, but again for selfish reasons, this time going the other way. The better she is, the better the band is. Got to keep her happy, and let her know the rest of us are in it with her.
I made the split-second decision to completely ignore "that face" and just give her a hug. A supportive, friendly,
chaste hug. By time I release her, I look and her face has changed. We're just friends. Good. But I know what I saw, and goddammit, of all the things this band does not need right now, it's this. Well, this and our two singers not agreeing on the dynamics of front-line singers and their respective roles in the band. I asked her if she was okay, she said Yes, and thanked me. I started heading toward the door, and I guess I figured she'd be right behind me. I get outside, John is still talking a bit with Jerry and Larry (that sounds funny) and I ask "So, do we still have a band?" Larry says "I'm still in!" Ha ha, good answer, one who has not yet played with us. Jerry says something like "I think so." I hope so, Jerry. None of the behind-the-scenes bullshit has been resolved, apparently. I look, and Anne has not followed me outside. She's still inside, alone at this point, probably still getting her head together. John glances around, apparently reaches the same conclusion, and says Bye to us and starts heading back inside. The rest of us get in our cars and leave.
I have no idea what the fuck is even happening anymore.
Topic: The Saga of Orbert's Band (now with A New Development) (Read 83239 times)
