The Saga of Orbert's Band (now with A New Development)

[Orbert]

Bob, I've seen your pics.

You'd probably be safe, pal. And black gospel groups are hella fun to play with.

As for my looks scaring off any potential danger, yeah probably.  My son's friends used to talk, "Have you seen his dad?  You'd remember.  He looks like he could kill you."  But martial arts are still pretty ineffective against firearms, except in close quarters, and they're not getting close to me because I took one judo class back in junior high and that's it.

I think I could learn to groove enough to play gospel, if I could pass the audition.  I may not have sucked as badly as I thought at my audition with my co-worker's group way back when, but I remember feeling woefully inadequate at the time.  I'd played garage rock back in junior high and school, then actual rock in bars for a few years in the 80's before going back to college and eventually getting my degree.  So I had zero experience playing gospel or any other non-secular music.  My co-worker said I was fine, but I was actually relieved when they went with someone else.

I got another contact, this time from an Allman Brothers/Southern Rock tribute band, another genre I don't have much experience playing.  We did Sweet Home Alabama (as all bars band do) and I took the piano solo at the end which was pretty good, but that's the extent of my experience playing Southern Rock.  I've always thought "Jessica" was a great tune, and of course "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" is closer to jazz-rock or Southern Prog or something.  But I'd probably have to play one or both of them if I auditioned, and I don't actually know either one.  I'd love to play them, of course, but learning them from the ground up well enough to pass an audition?  Wow.

I guess I need to up my game on multiple fronts.  It kinda sucks being the third-worst keyboard player in the tri-county area.

[Lax]

I understand what you mean groove-wise, it's like the average guitarist asked to funk, well, it often sucks
Or like mike mangini playing with corey wong, he sounded so prog and not funky at all (too much on the beat etc).

The neighborhood and zone is super important, for safety reasons.

The remaining questions and feelings sound very american to me (race etc), we don't have this kind of issues in france

[hefdaddy42]

It's all in the pelvis.

[Orbert]

I have attempted to incorporate pelvic motion into my stance and play style once or twice.  I have been told that I should not.

Also, I'd be seated for gospel gigs, and pelvic motion would not only be inappropriate, but it would look pretty bizarre.  I'm sure I'd be asked not to do it, so basically the same result.

The neighborhood and zone is super important, for safety reasons.

The remaining questions and feelings sound very american to me (race etc), we don't have this kind of issues in france

America likes to call itself "the great melting pot" -- well, at least some Americans like to call it that.  The idea is that we're all different, from different parts of the globe, but together we've blended into something unique.  Wonderful thought, but the reality varies quite widely.  There's still plenty of xenophobia.  We're a very large country, settled and populated over a relatively long time in proportion to how recent it was (compared to countries in Europe).  I've only been to France once, but I would assume that as homogeneous it appears to the typical American, there are older and newer parts, some areas embracing the modern while others prefer the traditional, that kind of thing.  In the U.S., it's all that and more because it's on a much larger scale and has a lot more influences.

My parents were both quite racist, thinking back to how they spoke and the ideas they planted in my head, and I've been working hard for a long time to overcome it.  I'm also a minority myself, and somehow have both benefitted and been victimized by it.  So it's weird.  I've got this idea ingrained in me that minorities in general are territorial and xenophobic, because of what my parents taught me and also my personal experience.  I don't want to be in that neighborhood because if my car broke down, I'm in an unfamiliar area where people will know immediately that I'm not from there, and how they act to "protect their turf" could take any of various forms.  They could also be really cool and helpful and there's no problem at all.  But to me it's completely unknown, so I play the odds and just avoid such situations.

[Lax]

As you say and as I wanted to picture, there are two different situations and a vastly different scale :

-USA is super vast, but once in towns it's the same as in any other town in the world, there are poor/dangerous/mafia/whatever isolated zones that you better not change your tire in
I remember some places while visiting san francisco etc...

-USA has a complicated history and seems to still make amend of many bad deeds, considering huge events from BLM to LGBT.
Sadly it brought up wokism and we live it badly here, because we are feeling like every US program is a parody "Soon the biopic on Napoleon, a black lesbian in a wheelchair".
We have our history and bad deeds, from colonialism to people still being racist but the melting pot is way more fine here !
I can tell honestly that the only ones having a hard time are muslims because they suffer from the amalgam with islamists extremists that are raiding us.

[Orbert]

We have the winery gig coming up this Sunday, and other than taking a week off the week of Christmas, we've been practicing pretty steadily.  Tonight will be our last rehearsal.  Our previous three rehearsals, we went through Sets 1, 2, and 3.  Brushed up a few spots, especially on the newer songs.  It feels good having four new songs, plus another half dozen or so that we didn't play there last time, so they're getting about 1/3 new stuff that they haven't heard us play before.  And that's if anyone even cares, since we were there last October.  Three months later, playing 1/3 new tunes, should be pretty cool.

Patty is still concerned that we have too many mellow songs and not enough uptempo ones.  She's right.  But she picks the songs, not me.  I've suggested a few songs along the way, and we've dropped most of them because she can't sing them or just plain doesn't like them, and those are two good reasons not to do them.  As a player, hell, I'll play anything if it's not downright horrible, but a singer has to be able to channel the song, and that's hard to do if you just don't like it.  Sure, a "real pro" could/would do it, but we're not pros.  Anyway, she texted me the other day, saying she was looking at the set lists and was gonna move some things around.  Yesterday I asked her if she was done tweaking things because I'd like to print out the set lists and, you know, have them ready for tonight.  She said she might not be sure until Wednesday or Thursday.  Today is Wednesday.  She sent me a text this morning which a screen shot of part of the list (?) and said "What do you think?"  I guess that means she's done tweaking the order, for now.  I told her it looks good, and that's the order I'll be ready with tonight.

Ran into my neighbor Jim again the other day.  Jim is the guy who gave me the small Kustom PA.  He saw me and said "I have something for you.  You got a minute?"  I said Sure, and he went into his house and came back a minute later with the manual.  I'd found it online when he first gave me the PA, but it's nice having a hard copy.  I thanked him again, told him we'd used the PA once already and have another gig this Sunday, gonna use it again.  He said "Hey, do you need a mike stand?"  I told him maybe, if it's a boom (which I need because I play keyboards) and he said Yes, it has a boom.  He then disappears into the house again and comes back with a mike stand with a boom.  Kinda lightweight, and missing the clip/holder thing at the top that actually holds the microphone, but what the heck.  Beggars can't be choosers.  I'll probably still go with the one I borrowed from the church last time, since it's larger and more heavy duty, but I thanked him anyway.  So now I have two cheapo mike stands, one with a boom, and a cheapo mike in case of emergencies.  And a small PA.  And a gig this Sunday.  Life could be worse.

[WilliamMunny]

Good luck with the gig–sounds like winery's are the way to go!

[Indiscipline]

Have a great show and I'm happy to see Patty engaged.

[Lax]

You got free gear it's cool
Mics often come with their clip anyway

[Orbert]

Yeah, I'm not gonna argue with someone giving me free gear.   And I know there are different kinds/sizes of mic clips since mic size can vary, but I believe the thread is the same where it connects to the stand itself.  Someone gave me an old Audio-Technica P610 years ago, with a stand (and clip!), and eventually I'll probably Frankenstein things together, since the stand is heavier duty.  All I really needed is the boom.  For Sunday, I borrowed a nice mic and stand from the church again.  But it's nice to know that I have a full rig, including mic and boom stand, if I need it for something.

[hefdaddy42]

Have a good gig!

[Orbert]

Thanks, that's the plan!

[Orbert]

Well, shit.  A major snowstorm hit the Chicago area this week, dropping 11 inches of snow, and today it's -5 degrees out.  That's Fahrenheit for you non-Americans.  -20 Celsius.  Places were closing down Friday and Saturday, and they called Patty to ask if we still wanted to do it.  They said if we want to reschedule, it's not a problem.  We postponed the gig, probably until the 28th.  We'll nail down a new date sometime.

To be honest, I wasn't looking forward to loading and unloading in this effin' weather.  The winery is in a shopping center, but it's at the top of a hill, and the parking is down behind it.  Last time we were there, it was quite a walk from the lot to the main entrance (no back door) and it was two trips, carrying gear.  Also, I wasn't sure about that hill in the first place if it's icy out, although I'm sure it would be salted.  I got a text from Patty at 1:30 this morning (which I didn't see until I got up at 7:30) saying she was having anxiety about the gig.  She'd just woken up from a "gig nightmare" where she was trying to find her lyrics, and it was taking her so long that she looked over at me and I'd fallen asleep.  She thought we should postpone (we hadn't decided yet at that point).  I thought it was funny, but didn't tell her that.  I told her that if it was spiking her anxiety, then we shouldn't do it.  Oh well.  That's show biz.

[Lax]

Anxiety, always annoying nice times...But it's human !

For the loading/unloading, I became so unwilling to suffer before and after the gig, and take the risk of hurting my back, I decided that next times I'll have some kind of trolley with my stuff on it !

Even when it was "just" rackbag+backpack+guitar case, I was just dying once arrived and back

[Orbert]

Grr.  The gig has been rescheduled for March 10.  Basically two months from the original date.  Since we'd kinda like to play there every two months, this is probably around when we'd have been there again anyway, but now it's a month and a half away.  Oh well.

[Orbert]

Rescheduling the gig for two months out was a blow, so we took a week off, but have rehearsed every week since then.  We've brought in five new songs and dropped some songs that weren't working as well, which is cool.  There was a sixth new one, but it didn't work out.

In the band, I had resigned myself to pretty much never playing songs that I actually like, because there's very little overlap between my taste in music and what actually goes over in bars.  With this format, there's a somewhat higher percentage of songs I like (no surprise), but it's still pretty low.  Most songs I eventually gain an appreciation for, just as I did with the band.  I mean, a song can be fun to play, a good challenge, sound good, all that, and I still don't really like the song, but at least it's fun to play.

The greatest challenge with our format is that I'm "the band".  If the song is basically voice and piano, it usually works well.  A lot of voice and guitar songs can be adapted as well, and I've even been complimented on what I've come up with.  Then there are songs that were done by a full band, which usually means guitars, bass, drums, the works.  Can I do something on piano that captures the essence of the song, so that by time Patty sings on top of it, it sounds good?  Usually I can come up with something, but sometimes the answer is just No.  There are songs we put a lot of work into but had to drop because they just weren't working.  Patty floated the idea of getting a drum machine, or adding a drummer, or a guitarist, to help fill out the sound.  I shut that shit down.  Sorry, but that's not the gig I signed up for, and after three years, I'm not looking to change it.  There are songs we can cover with our format, and there are some we cannot.

I'm also "the background vocals".  Similar issue.  If I can pick out a harmony that works and it sounds good, cool, we go with it.  The result is often a "folk" harmony (dancing thirds and sixths with occasional fourths and fifths) which works well with our format.  But sometimes there's glorious three-part or four-part harmony on the original, and we're just not gonna emulate that.  Last night we were working on a song where the lead and backgrounds are in a call-and-response, meaning I have to somehow emulate a three-part harmony.  I didn't want to do the song in the first place, but she loves it, so we're doing it, which means I had to try something, but nothing was working.  I finally said I just shouldn't sing on this one.  I only sing on maybe a third of the songs anyway, which is fine by me, but this is the first one with obvious background vocals and I'm just not gonna do them.  I didn't actively sabotage the backgrounds, but I didn't really try that hard because to me it was pretty obvious that nothing was going to work.  I tried a few things, but there was no way I was going to sound like three-part harmony all by myself while she sings the lead.  It sounds pretty empty, and honestly kinda dumb, without the backgrounds, but I'm going to let her reach that conclusion herself.  I've done what I can.

Oh well.  The gig is this Sunday, and we'll be ready.

[Lax]

I'm sorry you don't play songs you wish you played...That's the reason I'm not in a band right now !
I hope to build one with people that wish to play the same stuff than I.

Can't wait to read your aftermatch !

[Orbert]

The gig went very, very well!  Easily the funnest gig since playing with the band, and possibly ever.

The winery is in a strip mall and isn't huge.  Maybe seats 120-150 people total.  When you come in the front door, there's a big room off to the left which can be reserved for private events (it looked like a bridal shower this time; lots of pretty young women in nice dresses, many bearing gifts), the bar/counter is in the middle, and off to the right is where the live music sets up.  There's also more space straight back, and even an upstairs with more tables and something like a big sitting room.  Wineries are different from what I'm used to.  Somewhere between a bar and the living room of your friends who have some money and a good designer.  So not just tables and chairs, but also small couches and armchairs and coffee tables and stuff.  They've clearly prioritized comfort over cramming as many people as possible into the space.  Everything felt "cozy and comfortable".  And unlike a bar, where the music is so loud that you have to shout just to have a conversation with the person next to you, it's much more low-key.  And we went over really well.  Lots of chatter and drinking, but they were really engaged.

Patty is a member of a wine group (which is a thing, of course) and she said most of them were there, plus her usual group of friends and her sister and her sister's friends, and I even had a contingent from my church (seven Bob fans -- a new record)!  So that side of the place was packed, and between our devoted following, the event on the other side, and whoever normally stops in on a Sunday afternoon, it was standing room only for a while.  The bathrooms are upstairs, and I saw that both areas upstairs were also full of people.

We played well, as we usually do.  I'm still getting used to the difference in venues.  The music was loud enough to hear and enjoy, but not loud enough to stifle conversation.  We got pretty good applause after nearly every song, so that was cool.  It was also interesting hearing the ambient murmur suddenly get quieter during the quiet parts of songs.  They were listening.  By halfway through the first set, Lenny and Linda were up dancing to the uptempo songs, which encouraged others to dance, although there wasn't a lot of space.  So instead, people were singing along.  There were some guys from the wine group who were hilarious and leading the singalongs (drunk gay guys are a riot).  They were loving the Lady Gaga, Sara Bareilles, Adele, etc.

Anyway, people were drinking and dropping money in the tip jar all night afternoon, and we ended up splitting $150.  We were already being paid $150 for the gig itself, so my total take exceeded anything I'd ever been paid before, for any performance.  Patty usually gets paid by check for the gig and sends me my take via Zelle, so I was expecting another $75, but it was $95.  She texted me and said that her wine group had pulled together another $30 and gave it to her after I'd left, and the owner was so happy with us that she paid us an extra $10.  She also wants us back for Strawberry Festival in June, which I guess is a big thing, and hopefully it'll be nice enough that we can play outside.  Yeah, baby!  I love outdoor gigs.  We have the date and are just waiting for confirmation.

So I'm still kinda psyched from it all (in case you couldn't tell) but right now I'm drinking coffee and trying to prepare mentally for a day of work from home.  Mondays and Fridays from home, Tuesday through Thursday in the office.  Life could be worse.

[hefdaddy42]

[Orbert]

Patty was on fire.  She has exactly one gin and tonic before each gig, and sips it throughout the first set.  By the second set, with people singing and dancing, she was just wailing and it was incredible.  I've worked with some pretty good singers in the various bands I've been in, but Patty is an actual trained singer with years of training and experience, and an excellent sense of pitch.  There are songs that start almost in unison -- a single note or chord from me before the vocals come in -- and we make eye contact, maybe a slight nod, and boom! start the song.  It's great working with a really great singer.  There were a couple of times I just couldn't help myself; after the song when everyone was applauding, I just had to applaud as well while looking right at her and gesturing.  I've seen other guys do that, band members applauding the singer, and thought it looked kinda cheesy, but I get it.  Sometimes you're just amazed by the people you're playing with, and it's awesome.  Just an amazing gig.

I'll probably jinx us for life by saying this, but I don't believe in that shit so I'll say it.  We may have found our niche.  ♫♫

[Indiscipline]

Genuinely happy for you! Wineries, nice people, and a rewarding musical partnership are great places to be.

[Orbert]

Thanks!

[Orbert]

A few weeks back, Patty messaged me asking if I wanted to do the backyard neighborhood party we've done the past two years.  A 45-minute set for $50, which we split.  For me that translates to $25 to haul my gear about half an hour away, and two trips of maybe 200 yards each carrying gear from the street out to where the "stage" is, playing the set itself, and hauling everything out again.  Two years ago we took it because a gig's a gig and we were just getting started.  Last year it was the "comeback" gig after three open mics and 20 new songs led to precisely zip, and I'd suggested a break.  Since then we did two funerals and two winery gigs, and are booked for a third gig at the winery, so we're not exactly swamped with gigs, but I kinda feel like that's a lot of effort for $25.  So I asked Patty to find out if they'd pay us more.  Like, ask for $100, maybe settle for $75.

She messaged me today saying that they'll pay us $100 for an hour set.  Deal.  Also, Bob T ("the other Bob" -- friend of Patty's, one of the organizers, and the guy who got us the gig in the first place) would like to sit in a few songs.  He plays guitar/bass and also sings.  Sure, why not?  I told her to go over the song list with Bob T and pick a few that they think will work.  I'd like to rehearse once with him, but we talked about him joining us last year for a few tunes and our schedules never worked out.  I don't really care that much; I'm willing to wing it.  I'm assuming he's not going to take a piece of the action so I'll make my $50 either way, and playing with other folks is fun.  So now we have two gigs in June, the neighborhood party and the winery again.

I also told Patty that we need some new songs to work on.  I've given up on suggesting songs, since they go nowhere, and I've mentioned a few times (over the past couple of months) that I was messing around with this song or that song, hoping maybe she'd jump on one that she likes, but she won't bite.  So I'm gonna stop doing that.  Since apparently she wants to be the one to pick the songs and also the one to book the gigs, I'm just gonna enjoy the ride and let her do all that, and the act will make or break based on how much effort she wants to put into it.  At this point, I'm okay just playing the winery every couple of months, but we need to keep rotating new songs in.  Also, I get bored really quickly just playing the same songs over and over.  She said she'll try to come up with a few, maybe some more recent stuff.  We shall see.

[Orbert]

Interesting.  Back in 2018, after John's cancer scare and Jess' miscarriage, the band was taking a break and I auditioned for another band.  I was sure that I'd posted about it here, in this thread, but apparently I didn't because I can't find it.  I wasn't looking to join another start-up, but I was contacted via the band hook-up site to audition for an established band looking to add keyboards.  Classic rock, rehearsal at a house about 20 minutes from me.  Sounded good, so I went.  It was bad.  I went out there with six songs ready to go, and spent most of the time listening to this "established band" discuss chord changes and arrangements.  We'd arranged the audition weeks earlier, but some of them hadn't even listened to the songs until the day before or day of.  Fucking waste of time.  They were "established" in that they had a song list and a rehearsal space.  It was intentionally misleading.  Also, the rehearsal space is this woman's basement, and the stairs are immediately inside the back door, and very steep.  It was challenging getting my gear down there, and then back up again afterwards.  I got a message yesterday from the band hookup site, established band, classic rock, looking to replace keyboard player who had to leave for health reasons.  So far, so good.  So I read more about this "established band" and under gigs, it says "hoping to gig soon".  And then I notice the name and the picture.  It's the same woman who suckered me into auditioning for their "established band".  Five years later, they're still not gigging, or maybe they did but had to restructure or something.  Either way, they're not gigging now, and I already know I'm not hauling my gear up and down those stairs.  I didn't bother answering.

In other news, Patty messaged me, asking if I was available on July 14.  That's the day I was planning on driving over to Michigan to spend my week with the guys ("Mancation" they call it -- I think it's a stupid word, though I'm a big fan of the event itself).  It's a Sunday afternoon, and the winery needs someone, and apparently they love us.  We're there June 23 already, and they wanted us the following week, but Patty thought that that might be a bit too soon, so they offerred her July 14.  Sure.  I can hit the road Monday morning, get there that evening, and only miss one day of Mancation.

Patty asked me (again via text) what I thought about "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon & Garfunkel.  Great song, but really mellow.  We'd have to use it sparingly, as a breather between upbeat songs (we do keep a few mellow ones in the list for just that purpose) or maybe for mellower gigs like restaurants (subtle reminder that she's theoretically working on finding us other gigs).  She said yeah, don't start working on it yet, she's still knocking around some ideas.  I told her that it's a beautiful song and I'd love to hear her sing it, even if we don't end up playing it.  Which is true.  So she said Let's give it a shot.

No real drama lately, or ever, actually.  When it's just two people and we get along pretty well, there's not much opportunity for drama.  Just the boring business of working on songs and working on getting gigs.

[hefdaddy42]

Patty asked me (again via text) what I thought about "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon & Garfunkel.  Great song, but really mellow. 

Check out Jacob Collier's version.  It also features Tori Kelly and John Legend.  He uses a million tracks of his own voice as the background music instead of instruments, but it could stir your imagination for ways to un-mellow Bridge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AheurAZ-4kQ

[Orbert]

Wow.  Sorry, Hef, but I had to stop that after about ten seconds.  I hate melisma, especially completely unnecessary and unwarranted melisma.  It makes me want to hurt small animals.

Thanks for the suggestion, though.

[Stadler]

Wow.  Sorry, Hef, but I had to stop that after about ten seconds.  I hate melisma, especially completely unnecessary and unwarranted melisma.  It makes me want to hurt small animals.

Thanks for the suggestion, though.

I blame American Idol.  Ever since AmId, everyone thinks that maniacal melisma is "great singing".  Flick that.

Nothing against you, Hef, I didn't click the link yet, I'm just making a comment in general.  I think of the better singers in rock - Mercury, Bono, Sting... rarely if ever use that technique.   

[hefdaddy42]

Well, rock is only one genre. 

But if you don't like it, you don't like it.

[Orbert]

It's okay, you didn't know. 


Seriously though, it's a vocal style, and like anything else, it has its fans and its detractors.  I detract.  To me, a large part of the beauty of that song is in its delivery.  Art's voice is simple, pure.  Singing 17 pitches for each note doesn't embellish anything for me.  Some people like it, I'm sure.

[hefdaddy42]

I guess you are talking about the vocalists singing the lyrics?

Ignore them.  They aren't the story.  The background is the story.

[Orbert]

We're a duo playing songs adapted for voice-and-piano arrangements, but we're still basically a cover band.  I'm not looking to change up what I consider a near-perfect song.  I'm gonna play it the way Larry played it on the original, and presumably Patty will nail Art's vocals.  We're gonna try it tomorrow at rehearsal.

Again, I thank you for the suggestion, and I'm sure they've done something reasonably interesting with the arrangement, but I may or may not get around to checking it out, knowing already that those vocals will be distracting me the whole time.

[hefdaddy42]

OK, I don't blame you. 

[Stadler]

We're a duo playing songs adapted for voice-and-piano arrangements, but we're still basically a cover band.  I'm not looking to change up what I consider a near-perfect song.  I'm gonna play it the way Larry played it on the original, and presumably Patty will nail Art's vocals.  We're gonna try it tomorrow at rehearsal.

Again, I thank you for the suggestion, and I'm sure they've done something reasonably interesting with the arrangement, but I may or may not get around to checking it out, knowing already that those vocals will be distracting me the whole time.

Neal Morse does a killer version!