Thanks. There are a few things which are likely fuelling it, but I seem to feel anxious/depressed about everything.
I am home educated and never really go out and meet friends. The only friends I have are ones I met online. Talking to someone online is not the same as in person.
And I keep getting ill and throwing up. Probably because of sleep deprivation. I hate it.
And, well, the fact I can't enjoy anything doesn't help either...
Certainly, risk factors here make it worse. Couple that with this time of your life being a transitory one, it can suck bad at times I am guessing. Another day gone is another day you made it through.
My girlfriend's previous relationship was an abusive one and he wore her down mentally and physically. He has a lot to answer for. They have been separated for nearly two years and we've been together properly for about a year (but we met about 18 months ago). She is very down on herself, has this belief that she is fat and ugly (when the truth is she's beautiful and a perfectly 'normal' size), believes that no one actually likes here and that she will never amount to anything. Partly this comes from her ex, who made her believe a lot of this stuff. She has mentioned feeling suicidal and that she struggles to find joy in anything. It's really difficult because she's a naturally bubbly person, everyone likes her, she's life and soul of any gathering but on the inside she's very insecure. She has been attending counselling which helped but she wanted to get over the issues caused by her ex and be 'cured'. When this didn't happen she piled more pressure on herself, 'what's wrong with me, I should be over this by now' and that sort of thing. In fact it's gotten worse and she's struggling more than ever.
Depression and anxiety, and often I feel they are intertwined for people, can be bears. Depression feeds itself, the whole misery loves company concept. Until I started selling coping mechanisms daily in my present setting, I never fully bought into the "think positive" thing. But it is very true. At the same time, it's making it through distress for your girlfriend. Bad days, meh days, good days- they all come, and it's knowing that the storm will pass sometimes. Acknowledging the positive factors in one's life is the start, and re-build on those.
The hardest part about MH is that there is no cure, in that one takes 30 pills and the disorder goes away. That then leads to it being a daily struggle to get through symptoms at times for many disorders. My personal stuff is just that too. Somedays is autopilot, some days it's stay in bed all day if I could. I parallel addictions here, because the behaviors are not too far apart. Clearly someone addicted knows not to take stuff, much like someone who is depressed knows being lethargic won't work. But both still do it. So with your girlfriend, having stuff reinforced again is what it is about. I use this with resistant people, who say "that stuff (coping) doesn't work." Of course it doesn't with half measures. I frame it with AA/NA too, in that many people go daily for long stretches of time. They know the better way for them, but hearing it reinforces the resolve. And I'm not trying to imply your girlfriend is using half measures, just that at times we get led astray.
She was on anti anxiety medication but stopped taking it earlier this year, I supported her through this as she wanted to be 'better' and not rely on medication.
Psychiatric medication IMO is only required for two and half specific spectrum of disorders, which are generally the most debilitating ones. They are a useful tool, but just take the edge off when used as prescribed. They do bring physical long term damage, as over a long period of time; Elavil causes the heart to break down, some mood stabilizers take out kidneys, and anti-psychotic medications slowly dull the brain. In your girlfriend's case, I would say down the road active therapy and usage of thecniques should be enough. But, I am not a medical doctor or advance practice nurse, so take that as you see fit.
There's a lot going on with her and it's difficult to explain it all but I guess I'm asking what you guys generally feel is the best thing a loved one can do to help you? I'm very patient with her, explain that I love her for who she is regardless of her issues. I make it clear that I don't want to see her going through this all her life but at the same time I would love her if she did feel this way for the rest of her life.
Keep doing what your doing. Stay away from any judgements in front of her, and of course don't say cheer up or something.
Encourage her to keep at it, and do things that she enjoys. Gently try to egg her on to go back to therapy.
As one last thing I just want to say how I feel that modern life and technology exacerbates things like depression and anxiety. I've seen it loads and even feel it myself. In the modern world of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc, we are constantly living a life without less and less human contact and we are bombarded with images of people living life and doing all these amazing things we want to be doing. We all end up comparing ourselves to others and it ultimately can make us feel quite inadequate. My girlfriend has a love/hate relationship with things like Instagram, she gets inspired by certain things but also compares herself to a multitude of beautiful women which makes her feel fat and ugly.
One other thing about my girlfriend, she works as a senior support worker (as do I) supporting adults with learning disabilities. This can be a rewarding but VERY tiring job. She feels constantly exhausted because she works long hours and on top of that her mind is always working overtime overthinking everything about her life. We are in the process of saving to go travelling (another area she puts insane pressure on herself if she's not saving as much as she wants each month), we've both travelled before about 5 years ago. When we can both finally quit our jobs and experience life for a year or so I expect to see a massive change in her as we will escaped (for a while) the pressures of modern life and gotten away (somewhat) from technology.
Yup, technology will eventually be classified as an addiction. Virtual Reality, if it gets adopted fully by consumers, will add a whole new layer.
It seems like you guys have high burn-out type jobs. Working in the care field is basically like this across the board, so just saying this could certainly enhance her negative emotions. She has to be on top of it for her job, so then her personal life can easily crumble.
Topic: The Mental Health Thread - Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar, etc. (Read 4208 times)