Author Topic: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD  (Read 13767 times)

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Offline Kotowboy

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #140 on: February 28, 2016, 03:24:09 PM »
Thought of a terrible joke today....



What's a a sex addict's favourite pen ?

The Felt Tip.

Offline chaossystem

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #141 on: February 29, 2016, 02:44:54 AM »
Where do you find a legless dog?

Same place you left him!
I can't stop the world from turning around, or the pull of the moon on the tide, but I don't believe that we're in this alone, I believe we're along for the ride...

Offline Hyperplex

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #142 on: February 29, 2016, 06:59:43 AM »
What's the worst part about eating vegetables?


Getting them out of the wheelchair first.
"My melancholy wants to rest in the hiding places and abysses of perfection. This is why I need music." –Friedrich Nietzsche

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #143 on: March 05, 2016, 10:44:41 PM »
I made my daughter cry today.

I guess I misunderstood her when she said she wanted stuffed animals for her birthday.
People figured out that the white thing that comes out of cows' titties could be drunk, and the relation between sweet desires and women's bellies growing up for 9 months. It can't be THAT hard to figure out how a trumpet works.”

-MirrorMask

Offline IDontNotDoThings

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #144 on: February 16, 2017, 04:38:28 AM »
ドリームシアターはあまり好きではありませんが、ペンと紙を持っていたので、なんてこった。

Offline JayOctavarium

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #145 on: February 20, 2017, 05:40:21 PM »
I :heart this thread
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

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Offline soupytwist

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #146 on: February 21, 2017, 08:00:57 AM »
A man went to the zoo, they only had 1 dog.   

It was a shih tzu.

Offline Kotowboy

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #147 on: February 21, 2017, 08:54:47 AM »
A man went to the zoo, they only had 1 dog.   

It was a shih tzu.

I prefer my version of this joke.

*ahem*


" I went to the Zoo yesterday and all they had was 1 dog...


...needless to say I was very disappointed and shall not be returning ! :angry: "

Offline JLa

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #148 on: February 22, 2017, 01:31:15 AM »
When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, says he can stop any time.

Offline MetalJunkie

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #149 on: March 03, 2017, 12:44:13 AM »
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with three legs?
Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Your mom.
Listen! Do you smell something?

Offline Kotowboy

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #150 on: March 03, 2017, 01:10:21 AM »
What do you call a deer with no eyes ?

No Idea...

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs ?

Still No Idea...

Offline RoeDent

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #151 on: March 03, 2017, 02:38:28 PM »
Alternative dictionary:

Idea (1) - Conceal yourself in this place.
Idea (2) - Digital stag.

Pokemon - The red Teletubby should hurry up.


Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #152 on: June 04, 2017, 02:43:29 AM »
What would happen if Rick Moranis got lasik eye surgery?

He'll Suddenly Seymour.
People figured out that the white thing that comes out of cows' titties could be drunk, and the relation between sweet desires and women's bellies growing up for 9 months. It can't be THAT hard to figure out how a trumpet works.”

-MirrorMask

Offline IDontNotDoThings

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #153 on: June 04, 2017, 03:00:12 AM »
ドリームシアターはあまり好きではありませんが、ペンと紙を持っていたので、なんてこった。

Offline Orbert

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #154 on: June 04, 2017, 07:45:57 AM »
Middle of the night, a couple of rednecks are driving a U-haul out in the middle of nowhere.  They come to an underpass with a sign saying:

Warning: No Trucks over 11 Feet Tall

Redneck in the passenger seat says "Why are we stoppin'?"
Driver says "Guy at the U-haul place said this truck is 11 foot 2."
Passenger just grins and says "I don't see no cops around, do you?"

Online jingle.boy

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #155 on: June 06, 2017, 11:50:51 AM »
mrs.jingle has got us on one of these tropical fruit diets. It's enough to make a mango crazy
That's a word salad - and take it from me, I know word salad
I fear for the day when something happens on the right that is SO nuts that even Stadler says "That's crazy".
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Offline Kotowboy

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #156 on: June 06, 2017, 04:13:17 PM »
mrs.jingle has got us on one of these tropical fruit diets. It's enough to make a mango crazy

:neverusethis: O nO yoU di'nT !!!!

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #157 on: June 06, 2017, 06:32:29 PM »
What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
People figured out that the white thing that comes out of cows' titties could be drunk, and the relation between sweet desires and women's bellies growing up for 9 months. It can't be THAT hard to figure out how a trumpet works.”

-MirrorMask

Offline Orbert

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #158 on: June 06, 2017, 08:46:50 PM »
But Stevie Wonder's wife is a total babe.  Have you seen her?



Either has he.

Offline MetalJunkie

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #159 on: June 06, 2017, 11:40:59 PM »
C, E flat and G walk into a bar. Barman says "Sorry, we don't serve minors here."
Then G turns to E flat and says "I told you to act natural!"
Listen! Do you smell something?

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #160 on: June 07, 2017, 01:44:24 AM »
C, E flat and G walk into a bar. Barman says "Sorry, we don't serve minors here."
Then G turns to E flat and says "I told you to act natural!"

I found the whole joke on Reddit

"So a C, an E-flat and a G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
A D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar."
People figured out that the white thing that comes out of cows' titties could be drunk, and the relation between sweet desires and women's bellies growing up for 9 months. It can't be THAT hard to figure out how a trumpet works.”

-MirrorMask

Offline Kotowboy

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #161 on: June 07, 2017, 04:24:13 AM »
I liked it until the final sentence then it was too much :p

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #162 on: July 22, 2017, 09:24:01 PM »
"I would like to own a second basketball team in Miami so that when the announcers ask what my team's name is I can say 'well it's not the Heat, it's the Humidity'."

-Brian Regan
« Last Edit: July 22, 2017, 10:20:31 PM by TheCountOfNYC »
People figured out that the white thing that comes out of cows' titties could be drunk, and the relation between sweet desires and women's bellies growing up for 9 months. It can't be THAT hard to figure out how a trumpet works.”

-MirrorMask

Offline Orbert

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #163 on: July 22, 2017, 09:43:46 PM »
That would be amazing.

Offline IDontNotDoThings

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #164 on: July 25, 2017, 12:45:51 AM »
What gender is Siri?

Non-binary
ドリームシアターはあまり好きではありませんが、ペンと紙を持っていたので、なんてこった。

Online Ben_Jamin

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #165 on: July 25, 2017, 02:11:51 AM »
I don't know how they can be so proud of winning with them odds. - Little Big Man
Follow my Spotify:BjamminD

Online Chino

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #166 on: July 25, 2017, 06:28:08 AM »
Where's Kotowboy been?

Offline JayOctavarium

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #167 on: July 27, 2017, 09:16:09 PM »
Where's Kotowboy been?

:lol

That's a good one!


Oh... wait...
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

-BlobVanDam on "Scarred"

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #168 on: July 27, 2017, 09:19:37 PM »
Where's Kotowboy been?

Rumor is he accidentally smiled and was quickly removed from our reality.

:(
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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #169 on: July 28, 2017, 03:58:11 AM »
Where's Kotowboy been?

:lol

That's a good one!


Oh... wait...

I'm completely serious. Did he get banned or something?

Offline JayOctavarium

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #170 on: July 28, 2017, 09:35:43 AM »
Where's Kotowboy been?

:lol

That's a good one!


Oh... wait...

I'm completely serious. Did he get banned or something?

I don't know. He is alive, as he's active on Instagram. I'll shoot him a message and see wtf is going on.
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

-BlobVanDam on "Scarred"

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #171 on: September 20, 2017, 07:18:13 AM »
What's Pennywise's favorite spice?

Curry
People figured out that the white thing that comes out of cows' titties could be drunk, and the relation between sweet desires and women's bellies growing up for 9 months. It can't be THAT hard to figure out how a trumpet works.”

-MirrorMask

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #172 on: September 20, 2017, 08:07:12 AM »
What is red and bad for your teeth?



A brick.
     

Offline MirrorMask

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #173 on: September 20, 2017, 09:37:36 AM »
What's Pennywise's favorite spice?

Curry

Try and guess which one is Joey Tempest's instead.

 :D
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Offline Orbert

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Re: KOTOWBOY PRESENTS : THE BAD JOKE THREAD
« Reply #174 on: September 21, 2017, 01:17:43 PM »
Car's in the shop, so I rode my bike to the liquor store.  I was gonna put the bottle in the basket on the front of the bike, but then I thought if I fell off or something, the bottle would fall out and break.  So I drank the whole bottle right there.

Good thing, too, 'cause I fell off the bike six times on the way home.