Author Topic: The DTF Old As Mold Club v. 40 IS The New 30! Kids Stay Out!  (Read 324699 times)

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Offline Orbert

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #875 on: February 27, 2011, 09:22:14 PM »
For a long time, I was against texting in principle, just because it's faster (for me) and more personal to just call the person and talk.  But I've since come to realize that texting has its advantages.  You don't have to reply immediately, but the information gets passed along.  My wife will shoot me a text at work once in a while with information that I'll need later, but isn't enough to interrupt me if I might be in a meeting or something.  And I can confirm later that I received it.

Offline lonestar

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #876 on: February 27, 2011, 09:33:37 PM »
Most of my friends are in their early 30's, so I was kind of forced into texting to maintain communication with them.

Offline AndyDT

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #877 on: March 04, 2011, 06:36:16 AM »
I said at the end of the last date for her to phone me up if she wanted. She said she would and I offered to make her a meal not wanting to suggest doing the same thing again. Now I've got to wait potentially for no reply.

Offline Tick

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #878 on: March 04, 2011, 07:46:39 AM »
I have never sent a text. I'm thinking when my daughter becomes a teen that may change.
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Offline AndyDT

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #879 on: March 25, 2011, 04:47:22 AM »
I'm wondering if I could talk more on dates. What do you say?

- I don't want to quiz here about things she doesn't want to speak about ie. if I ask a couple of questions and she's not forthcoming then I take it as a sign that she's not interested in talking about that more.

- observational things. These are good whether they're a hook to something shared or something you know abuot her or just interest

- comments and questions - keeping an existing topic going

- disclosures - not generally good unless part of follow-up comments as they can make you seem self-absorbed

Am I missing something else?

Offline Orbert

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #880 on: March 25, 2011, 07:40:29 AM »
Yes, the trivial stuff.  The small details that tell her something about you, which are kinda pointless later but possibly important now.

"I read this article the other day about <something>.  I guess they've come up with some new methods of <something> that are more efficient and less expensive now.  I thought that was pretty cool."

It could be a magazine or online article, something you saw on the news, or even something you just heard about.  Something you found interesting.  Bring it up.  If it's something she also heard about, or something she finds interesting, then you have something to talk about.  If she's interested but hadn't heard, you have an opportunity to demonstrate your mad skills by telling her about it.  At the very least, she has found out something new about you, your interests, and how you feel about a certain topic.

Offline YtseBitsySpider

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #881 on: March 25, 2011, 11:29:37 AM »
I find alot of good talk comes from feeding off her stuff...her answers.
Where do you work, what do you do.
THEN

Even if you know the answers already about company x, and business y.....ask her about it anyhow....AND BE INTERESTED....AND LISTEN.......feed off that.....lead it to more questions....life experience stories.

Don't one up her stories..or try not to either.
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Offline AndyDT

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #882 on: March 25, 2011, 04:27:56 PM »
I find alot of good talk comes from feeding off her stuff...her answers.
Where do you work, what do you do.
THEN

Even if you know the answers already about company x, and business y.....ask her about it anyhow....AND BE INTERESTED....AND LISTEN.......feed off that.....lead it to more questions....life experience stories.

Don't one up her stories..or try not to either.

Yes thanks that's great advice. I find that some people need to warm up a bit before they'll get into a flow but then it leads onto all this great stuff you mention. So you've got to watch you're not too sensitive to them not apparently being interested if you see what I mean?

Yes, the trivial stuff.  The small details that tell her something about you, which are kinda pointless later but possibly important now.

"I read this article the other day about <something>.  I guess they've come up with some new methods of <something> that are more efficient and less expensive now.  I thought that was pretty cool."

It could be a magazine or online article, something you saw on the news, or even something you just heard about.  Something you found interesting.  Bring it up.  If it's something she also heard about, or something she finds interesting, then you have something to talk about.  If she's interested but hadn't heard, you have an opportunity to demonstrate your mad skills by telling her about it.  At the very least, she has found out something new about you, your interests, and how you feel about a certain topic.
Thanks for the suggestions.

Offline chknptpie

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #883 on: March 26, 2011, 09:36:07 AM »
Okay oldies... I need to buy health insurance on my own and need to know where to start. I'm working through a temp agency and their health insurance doesn't seem too great. Help please.

Offline Orbert

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #884 on: March 26, 2011, 11:02:56 PM »
Find out what they offer through your temp agency anyway.  Anything paid for by the company is better than nothing.  Even if they don't pay for part of your premiums, you almost certainly will qualify for a better rate through them than on your own, because they're getting a group rate.  You're right, though; it's probably not great, but it'll be better than nothing.  If you're young and healthy, you probably want to opt for a higher deductible in exchange for lower premiums.  Catastrophic situations will max out your deductible anyway and that's all you'll pay.

Offline chknptpie

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #885 on: March 27, 2011, 10:39:31 AM »
Find out what they offer through your temp agency anyway.  Anything paid for by the company is better than nothing.  Even if they don't pay for part of your premiums, you almost certainly will qualify for a better rate through them than on your own, because they're getting a group rate.  You're right, though; it's probably not great, but it'll be better than nothing.  If you're young and healthy, you probably want to opt for a higher deductible in exchange for lower premiums.  Catastrophic situations will max out your deductible anyway and that's all you'll pay.

Oh my gosh the last two sentences are like a foreign language haha. Higher deductible means I pay lower per month correct? Yet, also means that I have to pay more anytime I need to see a doctor right?

Offline carl320

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #886 on: March 27, 2011, 11:12:13 AM »
Find out what they offer through your temp agency anyway.  Anything paid for by the company is better than nothing.  Even if they don't pay for part of your premiums, you almost certainly will qualify for a better rate through them than on your own, because they're getting a group rate.  You're right, though; it's probably not great, but it'll be better than nothing.  If you're young and healthy, you probably want to opt for a higher deductible in exchange for lower premiums.  Catastrophic situations will max out your deductible anyway and that's all you'll pay.

Oh my gosh the last two sentences are like a foreign language haha. Higher deductible means I pay lower per month correct? Yet, also means that I have to pay more anytime I need to see a doctor right?

Yeah the higher deductibles will lower your monthly premium.  I'm not sure what the higher deductible will do to your copay (what you pay the doctor at the time of your visit).
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Offline Orbert

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #887 on: March 27, 2011, 10:47:50 PM »
Insurance 101

Insurance companies collect payments from customers in advance; these payments are known as premiums.  When customers get injured or sick, or for any other reason need to see a medical professional or hospital, the insurance company pays for part or even all of the bill, depending on the arrangement they have with the customer.  The process of getting the insurance company to pay the medical professional or hospital is called a claim.  Sometimes the professional or hospital will file the claim on behalf of the customer; sometimes the customer files the claim.

Obviously for the insurance company to make money, the amount they collect in premiums has to be more than what they pay in claims.  There are two main ways that insurance policies can be set up in order to reduce how much the insurance company pays: (1) there is a deductible amount, or (2) there is a co-pay amount.  These are similar but not exactly the same, and sometimes both can apply to the same claim.

A co-pay amount is a fixed amount that the patient pays each time.  For example, if your co-pay is $25, then every time you go to the doctor, be it for a regular checkup, because you're sick, whatever, you pay $25 and the insurance company pays the rest.  In exchange, the premiums you pay monthly are lower.  Lower, that is, compared to what you'd pay if you want the insurance to pay the entire bill.

A deductible amount is a fixed amount, much higher than a co-pay, that is your total responsibility to pay over a certain period of time (usually one year, but sometimes lifetime).  For major things like a stay in the hospital, the insurance company will cover 80% of the bill, up to a certain amount.  That sounds pretty good until your realize that even a few days in the hospital costs thousands of dollars. A serious injury or operation can cost tens or hundreds of thousands, so you're still on the hook for thousands, up to your deductible amount.  If your total deductible is $10,000, then that's all you pay, period.  No matter how high the bills go, the insurance company picks up the rest of the bill.  This is to prevent people from getting completely wiped out financially by a single catastrophic illness.  Yeah, $10,000 is still a lot of money, but you or your parents or hopefully somebody will be able to raise or borrow that much.  A total hospital bill for half a million dollars would destroy a lot of people.

So... if your employer offers more than one insurance plan, then there's going to be a plan where you pay higher premiums but have a lower (or non-existant) co-pay.  There will be a plan where the premiums are lower, but in return you pay more out-of-pocket each time you see the doctor.  There can be any number of plans in between.  There can also be plans with a higher deductible in exchange for lower premiums (think about it; it makes sense) and vice versa.

The company I work for offers I think seven different plans underwritten by three different insurance companies.  I pick the one that makes the most sense for my family and our situation.  You need to do the same thing.

If they only offer one plan, there's no deciding.  It will almost certainly be a better deal than you can find through an independent agent.  This is because the company is getting a group rate from the insurer, and possibly subsidizing it as well.  Otherwise you have to weigh the difference in premiums you pay each month/year/whatever against how often you visit the doctor and what you'll pay out-of-pocket each time, and how well you want to be protected against catastrophic illness.  Also, if you're still a full-time student and/or under a certain age, you may still be covered by your parent's insurance, so you should check with them.  You may not need to get your own insurance at all.  My son is 18, but as long as he's a full-time student, he's covered on my policy until he's 25.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2011, 10:53:10 PM by Orbert »

Offline chknptpie

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #888 on: March 28, 2011, 08:43:35 AM »
Wow thank you very much! Care to explain auto insurance too? HAHAHA

Offline Orbert

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #889 on: March 28, 2011, 11:13:17 AM »
It's actually very similar.  And I realize now that I titled my little essay "Insurance 101" when it only focused on Health Insurance.

But Auto Insurance is similar in that they'll offer lower premiums in exchange for a higher deductible.  The difference is that the deductible is more important than the co-pay, and there may not even be a co-pay.  With Auto Insurance, your primary concern is getting your car fixed (and possibly the other person's car if the accident was your fault and you live in a state where that means you have to pay), which is always in the thousands of dollars.  There isn't an analagous situation with co-pays and doctor visits because regular check-ups are oil changes and tune-ups and new tires and stuff.  You don't pay for those via insurance unless you're an idiot; you pay for those out of pocket.

The plans I've seen usually have Zero deductible, $250, or $500.  I'm sure you could go higher.  Same concept, though.  The total repairs might be $5000, but you only pay the deductible amount.  Therefore you look at how much the difference will be for premiums compared to how much you'll have to pay out-of-pocket should you get into an accident.

Offline chknptpie

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #890 on: March 28, 2011, 07:16:55 PM »
I guess the whole liability thing confuses me... sorry I've hijacked this thread lol

Offline Orbert

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #891 on: March 28, 2011, 09:43:41 PM »
That's okay.  Old people get off on imparting their knowledge to younger folks.  It makes them feel important or smart or something.

Liability simply means "Whose fault was it?"/"Who must pay?"  Or nowadays, "Whose insurance company must pay?"  The simplest case is an accident between two cars, and a police officer gives a ticket to one or the other party.  Someone ran a red light, or turned without signalling, or something.  If somebody gets a ticket, then it's clearly that person's fault, which means that they have to pay to fix both cars.  Or nowadays, their insurance company has to pay.

Some states are "no-fault" states, which means that unless there are extenuating circumstances, it doesn't matter whose fault it is; you pay for your car and the other person pays for theirs.  In a no-fault state, you pretty much have to have insurance, because you can be the safest driver in the world and if someone hits you, you still have to pay.  Also, if you finance a car (you're making payments on it), it must be insured.  No bank is going to lend you money for a car that might get totalled.  If your car gets toasted before you've finished paying for it, it severely jeopardizes their chances of getting their money, and they want their money, so they don't finance a car that's not insured.

If it's a single-car accident (you hit some ice and crash into a tree or something), then it's pretty obvious that you're paying for it.

Offline AndyDT

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #892 on: March 29, 2011, 02:46:39 PM »
I've been seeing this woman for around 5-6 weeks. Had some good dates, got on quite well. Got hard a couple of times. Then on Saturday we talk about past experience and it turns out she's still speaking to her ex who is about to emigrate and has been for months. Then she calls it off tonight saying she's not ready (which is exactly what the last woman I was with said - doesn't want a relationship yet). Am I missing some message here or should I just move on?

Offline lonestar

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #893 on: March 29, 2011, 02:53:42 PM »
If you try to force anything on her, you will only drive her further away.  Give it time, the thing with her ex may pass and she might come calling on you again.  And keep an open mind to other options, one of the best parts I have gotten out of dating is some solid friends.  If you are bugged about the mood switch, ask her about it.  If she doesn't want to talk, it might not be worth it. 

Offline Orbert

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #894 on: March 29, 2011, 03:04:35 PM »
I've been seeing this woman for around 5-6 weeks. Had some good dates, got on quite well. Got hard a couple of times. Then on Saturday we talk about past experience and it turns out she's still speaking to her ex who is about to emigrate and has been for months. Then she calls it off tonight saying she's not ready (which is exactly what the last woman I was with said - doesn't want a relationship yet). Am I missing some message here or should I just move on?

This is just my opinion and interpretation of events, but I think it's bad news, Andy.  If you've been dating for five or six weeks and suddenly her ex is in the picture in any way, shape or form, and just as suddenly, she's "not ready for a relationship" then she's trying to let you down easily.  She does not want a relationship with you.  After a month and a half, she feels that she knows you well enough to make this decision, but rather than risk hurting your feelings, she's blaming it on herself not being ready.  You don't date someone for a month and a half and then figure out that you're not ready for a relationship.  You just don't like the one you're in or currently developing.

Offline lonestar

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #895 on: March 29, 2011, 03:08:32 PM »
Orbert, I gotta give you some props, you got some serious wisdom in you, from one old fart to another.

Offline AndyDT

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #896 on: March 29, 2011, 03:17:30 PM »
I've been seeing this woman for around 5-6 weeks. Had some good dates, got on quite well. Got hard a couple of times. Then on Saturday we talk about past experience and it turns out she's still speaking to her ex who is about to emigrate and has been for months. Then she calls it off tonight saying she's not ready (which is exactly what the last woman I was with said - doesn't want a relationship yet). Am I missing some message here or should I just move on?

This is just my opinion and interpretation of events, but I think it's bad news, Andy.  If you've been dating for five or six weeks and suddenly her ex is in the picture in any way, shape or form, and just as suddenly, she's "not ready for a relationship" then she's trying to let you down easily.  She does not want a relationship with you.  After a month and a half, she feels that she knows you well enough to make this decision, but rather than risk hurting your feelings, she's blaming it on herself not being ready.  You don't date someone for a month and a half and then figure out that you're not ready for a relationship.  You just don't like the one you're in or currently developing.
We were getting affectionate that night, she was doing the leading, and she starts talking about how her ex is still in the picture.

If you try to force anything on her, you will only drive her further away.  Give it time, the thing with her ex may pass and she might come calling on you again.  And keep an open mind to other options, one of the best parts I have gotten out of dating is some solid friends.  If you are bugged about the mood switch, ask her about it.  If she doesn't want to talk, it might not be worth it. 
Thanks. I didn't try to force a thing. You mean become friends with your ex? I don't get the friends thing. They dump you and then say "if you ever need to speak to a friend call me".


Offline Ryzee

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #897 on: March 29, 2011, 03:18:28 PM »
Hey guys, so I'm turning 31 this year, I'm married and have a son who's almost 2.  Do I qualify for this club?  I don't need love advice or anything, just wanted to say "what up."  Sometimes I feel a little left out from the other age groups on here because I'm not in high school or college, and I have no idea what Pokemon is all about other than natural pop culture osmosis.

Offline lonestar

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #898 on: March 29, 2011, 03:23:07 PM »
By age alone, you qualify.  Welcome.  The cut line is 30 and over, but most of the regulars(myself, king, Orbert, wikml, etc) are in their forties.  I think there are seven of us really old fogies.  Then there is andy, who comes to us for our sage advice on issues of the heart.

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #899 on: March 29, 2011, 03:28:11 PM »
This is the Logan's Run forum. :laugh:
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.” - Bob Newhart
So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam
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Offline lonestar

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #900 on: March 29, 2011, 03:31:46 PM »
Never insult Logan's Run. Never.

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #901 on: March 29, 2011, 03:34:21 PM »
Dude(trying to act young) That's an homage to this thread.  My red light is flashing as I type!
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.” - Bob Newhart
So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam
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Offline Ryzee

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #902 on: March 29, 2011, 03:34:58 PM »
Right on, I'll be sure to pop in here from time to time then!  :tup  It seems like my age group is the least represented, or at least the least vocal group on this forum.  From what I see it's mostly late teens/early-mid twenties high school and college kids, then you have your few fortysomethings running around making references to things from the '70s that go over my head!  For example: I've never seen Logan's Run  ??? 

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #903 on: March 29, 2011, 03:36:16 PM »
There is a nugget of wisdom there.  Rent it!
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.” - Bob Newhart
So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam
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Offline Orbert

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #904 on: March 29, 2011, 03:38:24 PM »
We were getting affectionate that night, she was doing the leading, and she starts talking about how her ex is still in the picture.

Okay then that's weird.  My revised interpretation is that he was always around, somewhere, but she thought she'd moved on and was ready to start something up with you.  But something has happened recently and now she needs a break to sort things out.  Stuff she thought she had sorted out.  Maybe he called her, they talked, she realized that she still has some feelings for him, I don't know.

But if she was doing the leading, and then decided to tell you that she's not ready, you're definitely getting mixed signals.  No heterosexual male can correctly interpret mixed signals from a female.  We've been working on it for 2 million years, so I don't think it's gonna happen in our lifetime.

Offline lonestar

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #905 on: March 29, 2011, 03:43:07 PM »
Dude(trying to act young) That's an homage to this thread.  My red light is flashing as I type!
:rollin

Offline El Barto

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #906 on: March 29, 2011, 04:48:10 PM »

We were getting affectionate that night, she was doing the leading, and she starts talking about how her ex is still in the picture.
That's about 2 levels beyond a red flag.  The girl seems to have issues, and you'd be well advised to let her deal with them on her own.  Don't be the guy to discover she's a basket case. 
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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #907 on: March 30, 2011, 03:19:40 PM »

We were getting affectionate that night, she was doing the leading, and she starts talking about how her ex is still in the picture.
That's about 2 levels beyond a red flag.  The girl seems to have issues, and you'd be well advised to let her deal with them on her own.  Don't be the guy to discover she's a basket case. 

Oh yea.  Amen El Barto.
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.” - Bob Newhart
So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam
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Offline YtseBitsySpider

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #908 on: March 31, 2011, 05:32:15 AM »
Hey guys, so I'm turning 31 this year, I'm married and have a son who's almost 2.  Do I qualify for this club?  I don't need love advice or anything, just wanted to say "what up."  Sometimes I feel a little left out from the other age groups on here because I'm not in high school or college, and I have no idea what Pokemon is all about other than natural pop culture osmosis.

Im 36, and started playing Pokemon last year.
It's an addictive little cock.
Start now.
or
When your son gets older maybe. Mine is 8 and we're hip deap in pokemon.
Take care everyone - Bet you all didn't even notice I was gone.

Happy Lives to you all.

Offline Orbert

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Re: The DTF Old As Mold Club 30&Over/A.K.A. Andy's Love Advice Forum
« Reply #909 on: March 31, 2011, 09:46:45 AM »
My son was 7 when we got him Pokémon Blue, so I was 37 at the time, and we both got kinda hooked on it.  I was able to shake it off because I was still addicted to Diablo II at the time.

In retrospect, I should've gone with Pokémon.  It would've been something to do together.