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Author Topic: DT Related Jokes  (Read 3667 times)

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Offline Fredo96993

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DT Related Jokes
« on: October 31, 2014, 06:51:17 AM »
I thought we could share some DT jokes since there are so many references and things someone must have come up with. To start off:
Yo momma's so fat, Mike Mangini thought she was his new drum kit.
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Offline adamack

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2014, 10:53:55 AM »
These are based on existing anti-jokes, but I changed them a bit to relate to DT. #4 and #7 I just made up  :facepalm:

1. What's worse than DT canceling a show you had tickets to?
The Holocaust

2. John Myung, James LaBrie, and John Petrucci walk into a bar.
What a fine example of a culturally diverse band.

3. Why did the man drop his DT ticket?
Because he was hit by a truck

4. Man: What's your favorite Dream Theater song?
Dream Theater Fan: You Not Me

5. Who's the best band in the world with an accordion player?
Dream Theater, I lied about the accordion player

6. A dyslexic man walks into a Dearm Tehater concert.

7.
A: Knock Knock.
B: Who's There?
A: Dream Theater.
B: Dream Theater who?
A: I don't know you anymore.

8. John Myung walks into a bar with a karate gi on.
Several people left as they realized the danger in the situation.

9. What did one DT member say to the other DT member?
We are both in Dream Theater

10. What did John Petrucci say to John Myung right before they got into the tour bus?
Get in the tour bus

11. What does a Dream Theater fan and a Winger fan have in common?
They both have great taste in music, except for the Winger fan.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2014, 08:18:53 PM by adamack »
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Offline RoeDent

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2014, 11:00:08 AM »
What do you get when you cross John Petrucci with the Second Amendment?
The right to arm bears.

Another great source of DT humour is misheard lyrics. Some of my favourites:

"Give your cell phone to me" - Forsaken

"If his obsession's Wilson, crushing Daddy fills a standard ho!" - Take the Time

"And you ask me where my hairspray?" - Burning My Soul
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Offline YtseJamittaja

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2014, 11:01:22 AM »
One DT related joke:

Raw Dog
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Offline adamack

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2014, 11:15:40 AM »
Quote from: RoeDent on October 31, 2014, 11:00:08 AM
What do you get when you cross John Petrucci with the Second Amendment?
The right to arm bears.

Lol! Good one.
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Offline DarkLord_Lalinc

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2014, 12:15:01 PM »
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Offline Randaran

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2014, 12:27:47 PM »
Quote from: adamack on October 31, 2014, 10:53:55 AM
6. A dyslexic man walks into a Dream Theatre concert.

FTFY
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Quote from: BlobVanDam on March 27, 2015, 01:21:42 AM
Only a prog fan would try to measure how much they enjoy a song by an equation. :lol
Quote from: Zook on March 26, 2016, 10:26:42 AM
My anime can beat up your anime.

Offline adamack

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2014, 01:12:21 PM »
Quote from: Randaran on October 31, 2014, 12:27:47 PM
Quote from: adamack on October 31, 2014, 10:53:55 AM
6. A dyslexic man walks into a Dream Theatre concert.

FTFY

Haha, yeah that would have been better.
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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2014, 01:22:26 PM »
We have a thread called Post Bad DT Jokes for Fun.... Umm... I can't think of any good DT jokes.
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Offline James Mypetgiress

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2014, 02:16:13 PM »
I got into a fight with John Petucci, and I survived... BEARly
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Offline RodrigoAltaf

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2014, 03:43:41 AM »
 Very few people know that John Petrucci was one of the main investors of Virgin Galactic. But after the accident with SpaceShip Two he consulted his accountant, and his advice was to Space Divest.
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Offline rumborak

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2014, 05:36:38 PM »
My young one once shoved a Brie into his mangina, as a porn toy. He wouldn't fit in any moore than that, he thought it would be rudess.

Petrucci.
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Offline MetropolisxPt1

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #12 on: November 06, 2014, 07:16:01 AM »
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Offline Rodni Demental

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #13 on: November 06, 2014, 07:30:11 AM »
Quote from: MetropolisxPt1 on November 06, 2014, 07:16:01 AM
Quote from: DarkLord_Lalinc on October 31, 2014, 12:15:01 PM
This video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxKKI233rHE
This might be one of the funniest things ive ever seen

Omg, I think I found this earlier in the year but subsequently erased it from my memory banks.  ::)

Some amusing bits in there like the comment he makes just before the 3rd verse "Here's another one, I don't know how to sing it. It's in a time signature that eludes me...". And at the end: "This guy doesn't like me, goodnight!".  :xbones
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Offline nicmos

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #14 on: November 06, 2014, 10:37:39 AM »
What did Mike Portnoy say after he put his polka-dot elf shoe-shaped ornament up on the Christmas tree in his house?

A: "There's the spotted boot in the family tree"
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Offline Chino

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #15 on: November 06, 2014, 12:16:31 PM »
"Knock Knock"

      "Who's There?"

"John Myung"

      "John Myung who?"

.....
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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #16 on: November 07, 2014, 10:27:32 AM »
I've heard a lot of criticism towards DT, but all I can say is Prater's gonna Prate.
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Offline nicmos

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #17 on: November 07, 2014, 12:59:10 PM »
Prater's gonna Prate Prate Prate Prate Prate Prate, Shake it off, Shake it off, hoo hoo hooooooo!
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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #18 on: November 07, 2014, 01:06:57 PM »
Quote from: nicmos on November 07, 2014, 12:59:10 PM
Prater's gonna Prate Prate Prate Prate Prate Prate, Shake it off, Shake it off, hoo hoo hooooooo!

 :rollin

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Offline King Postwhore

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #19 on: November 07, 2014, 01:33:15 PM »
You ever hear the joke about Pull Me U
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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #20 on: November 07, 2014, 01:36:29 PM »
That joke's on you, not me.
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Offline Grizz

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #21 on: November 07, 2014, 03:05:35 PM »
"The only thing longer than Tommy Lee's cock is a Dream Theater song." - Some loser from VH1, Palladium, Worcester, MA, 2010-07-10
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Quote from: Madman Shepherd on May 13, 2014, 05:20:34 PM
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #22 on: November 15, 2014, 09:29:05 AM »
In America, one of it's greatest icons, Superman, watches over the city of Metropolis.

In Soviet Dream Theater, Metropolis watches you!
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Offline TheSilentHam

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #23 on: November 16, 2014, 11:23:03 AM »
Two fans are sitting at a bar discussing Dream Theater, and they agree on absolutely everything.  The bartender, overhearing the conversation, walks up and says "This has got to be a joke, right?"
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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #24 on: November 17, 2014, 10:00:04 AM »
MP: Wow, these remixed versions of Scenes From A Memory songs sound great. Who did this?

JP: Kevin Shirley.

MP: Shirley? You can't be serious!

JP: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
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Offline Grizz

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #25 on: November 17, 2014, 10:10:01 PM »
"Desmond Child? Surely you can't be serious!"
"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley. Call me Kevin."
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Quote from: Madman Shepherd on May 13, 2014, 05:20:34 PM
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #26 on: November 17, 2014, 10:17:33 PM »
Quote from: Grizz on November 17, 2014, 10:10:01 PM
"Desmond Child? Surely you can't be serious!"
"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley. Call me Kevin."

That was another variation I was considering, actually, haha.
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Offline The Letter M

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #27 on: November 18, 2014, 01:16:56 AM »
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The Ones.
The Ones Who?
The Ones Who Help To Set The Sun.

-Marc.
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Online Zydar

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #28 on: November 18, 2014, 01:17:42 AM »
:lol
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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #29 on: November 18, 2014, 07:00:12 AM »
Knock knock.

Don't bother, this door will never be open again.
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Offline nicmos

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #30 on: November 19, 2014, 08:36:24 PM »
How did JLB spend his time after he rescued some of the animals from the closing Sea World park?

A: Bathing his beautiful manatee
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Offline Grizz

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #31 on: November 19, 2014, 08:46:26 PM »
Quote from: TheGreatPretender on November 18, 2014, 07:00:12 AM
Knock knock.

Don't bother, this door will never be open again.
"Kevin, open up! Don't tell me you're wanking to that chick in the Space-Dye Vest again!"
I wonder if that was the inspiration for that line...

JP always affectionately called his children boobs. After a couple of minor choking incidents frightened him, he said "The suffocating mammaries are etched upon my mind."

Once, one began choking while he cooked pasta for dinner. He was forced into leaving the sauce behind to save his child.

JP once ate an uncooked frankfurter on a dare. Between the food poisoning he said that this was far from his most nauseating Raw Dog.

I'm done
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Quote from: Madman Shepherd on May 13, 2014, 05:20:34 PM
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #32 on: November 19, 2014, 08:54:29 PM »
Quote from: nicmos on November 19, 2014, 08:36:24 PM
How did JLB spend his time after he rescued some of the animals from the closing Sea World park?

A: Bathing his beautiful manatee

Yeah, but what did he say when he went to rescue them?

A: Salvation for you, manatees!
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Offline Grizz

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #33 on: November 19, 2014, 09:23:15 PM »
One of the manitees injured a caretaker. They called JLB in, because if anyone can bring redemption for your manitee it's him.
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Quote from: Madman Shepherd on May 13, 2014, 05:20:34 PM
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline nicmos

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Re: DT Related Jokes
« Reply #34 on: November 19, 2014, 10:21:16 PM »
Quote from: TheGreatPretender on November 19, 2014, 08:54:29 PM
Quote from: nicmos on November 19, 2014, 08:36:24 PM
How did JLB spend his time after he rescued some of the animals from the closing Sea World park?

A: Bathing his beautiful manatee

Yeah, but what did he say when he went to rescue them?

A: Salvation for you, manatees!

I dare say your joke is even better! :)  (or did I purposely tee it up that way??)
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