I'm starting to think RPG has moved to a definition that I don't fully understand anymore, are role playing games specifically the ones that ask you to shape the looks of your character and chose their name?
Well, aesthetically, Japanese RPGs and Western RPGs (while originally inspired by old school D&D type stuff) have evolved into two completely different genres.
See, I used to consider games where you get to name your characters to be RPGs, which included Legend of Zelda, but there's been a ton of arguments against Zelda being an RPG, because you don't get to level up your character, etc. Meanwhile, games like Final Fantasy, which were the biggest, most popular Japanese RPG franchise, stopped bothering with letting you name your characters.
It seems like as time goes on, Western RPGs are the ones that are more focused on customization, letting you shape your character and the game world based on your own decisions in the way you see fit, with games like Mass Effect, Skyrim, Fallout, etc. Although more action focused games like Deus Ex still count, because of the decision making and the skill customization aspect of it, even though it feels pretty much like a regular First Person Shooter.
Meanwhile, most Japanese RPGs, even the ones that let you choose your name and dialogue choices, like Persona 3, are more focused on just telling an epic, character driven story. And the RPG aspect comes from leveling up, and in best of cases, choosing how you want your character to evolve combat wise, with spells, skills, etc. (In worst cases, each character is assigned his own set of skills and you just have to grind for a bit to learn them. No customization whatsoever.)
Of course, more often than not, that combat building element, where you customize your skills still exists in Western RPGs, but in games like Mass Effect 2, for example, that's extremely limited, only letting you choose a few variations for how your character plays.