You're right; it's not about "faking it". Women can smell fear, and they can smell insincerity.
But part of it is not over-complicating it, and putting too much pressure on things. You can't approach ONE girl with the mindset that you are going to say something quippy, sweep her off her feet, she's going to blow you in the car on the way home, you'll be exclusive by tomorrow, and marry her by St. Patrick's day. That is DESTINED for failure. It's a self-replicating thing.
You need to talk to guys. Talk to ugly girls. Talk to girls there with their boyfriend. Talk to the bartender. Talk to the bouncer. Get into the habit of starting conversations. Part of the trick of that is putting yourself in their position. I don't like Beyoncé any more than anyone else here, but you won't catch me dead telling someone I just met "Oh, Beyoncé sucks; her live show is all backing tapes, and well, you don't know music unless you can recite the lyrics to all four sides of Topographic Oceans, by Yes. Produced by Eddie Offord, released in 1973 on Atlantic Records, and a cover by Roger Dean." Go with the flow. If there's a band, say something to the person next to you. "I like that song". "I like that guitar." "I like that singer's hat." If there's a game on TV, ask how the team did the night before. If they say "I don't know, I never watch sports." you can run with that. "Neither do I!" or "How can you not watch sports ever?" (as a joke). If they say "Oh, they won", run with that. It's all about listening. You'll still fail more often than not, but it's like riding a bike; it gets easier.