Author Topic: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip  (Read 279610 times)

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Offline bout to crash

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #490 on: June 03, 2015, 08:53:23 AM »
Yeah, could be great or really awkward if things don't go well! Well? Have you not posted yet because you're still in bed with her??

You're probably right. I don't think it was a sustainable relationship from the beginning. It was supposed to just be fun for a while, and then things got a bit too heavy. There have been a few times over the last few times where I've found myself wanting to text him or invite him to a movie, but mostly I feel relieved and like wanting to do my own thing.

So in the robotic words of Matt Bellamy, it was UN-SU-STAIN-ABLE?

Sorry, I had to do it. :facepalm: :lol :biggrin:

 :lol, it's true.
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #491 on: June 03, 2015, 09:36:47 AM »
Going on a first meet up date in a few minutes.  This girl apparently lives around the corner from me, that could be good or bad.  I guess that depends on how tonight goes.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #492 on: June 03, 2015, 10:10:26 AM »
 :lol

Things went well Monday night.  We had a couple drinks and shared a small pizza at a local bar.  She lives about 10 minutes away so its not as close as I had thought, but still close which is nice.  Well we ended up hanging out again last night, she came over and we just watched TV and talked.  We had a nice make out sesh.  She is really nice and I've enjoyed our two evenings together, but I can already tell she really likes me, and likes me a lot more than I like her.  She's been texting how happy she is and all this good stuff, which makes me feel good and all, but I'm not feeling it as much as she is.  She texted me after she got home saying its been a really long time since she kissed someone and hasn't gone on a date in a long time.  It's the first time that I am the more experienced one and I'm not used to that at all.  She also isnt from the area, or even NJ at all so she has no friends here which I am not holding against her, but it makes for a different dynamic than I am used to.  All in all, I had fun and I plan on seeing her again.  We actually just agreed to hang out again sunday night.  I have my concerns, but they aren't big enough to stop now since I barely even know her and I did enjoy my time with her, but I am already worried about hurting her if it doesn't work out just because of how much she seems to already like me and I would feel really bad knowing that the only person she hangs out with turned her down.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #493 on: June 03, 2015, 10:33:19 AM »
So can't you just tell her that as much as you enjoy hanging out with her you aren't looking for anything serious right now?  It would seem to me that being upfront about how you feel would save a whole lot of misunderstanding down the road.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #494 on: June 03, 2015, 10:46:20 AM »
So can't you just tell her that as much as you enjoy hanging out with her you aren't looking for anything serious right now?  It would seem to me that being upfront about how you feel would save a whole lot of misunderstanding down the road.

That is an option, but we haven't had that conversation yet which will likely be soon, but we only just started talking Saturday so it's all new and I am just going to let it flow for now and by Sunday night when we hang out again, we should have a better understanding of each other I would think. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #495 on: June 03, 2015, 02:46:18 PM »
So can't you just tell her that as much as you enjoy hanging out with her you aren't looking for anything serious right now?  It would seem to me that being upfront about how you feel would save a whole lot of misunderstanding down the road.

That is an option, but we haven't had that conversation yet which will likely be soon, but we only just started talking Saturday so it's all new and I am just going to let it flow for now and by Sunday night when we hang out again, we should have a better understanding of each other I would think.

Just a thought, but... I'm not sure I would assume anything yet.  If you're having fun, continue having fun (assuming that the 'having fun' doesn't mean just boning her and telling her to "get out, I have somewhere to be".)  You're both adults and it's only been two dates.  As long as you both are treating each other as adults, and there's a reasonable level of honesty, I'm not sure there has to be anything more at this point, unless and until it's brought to a head (and I am old fashioned; I think "sleeping together" counts as "brought to a head").   

I can see it now:  "Well, that was a superior date number three, and while after date two, I felt like perhaps you liked me 34% more than I liked you, I may have been premature.  At this point, and pending any fellatio that may be involved in our goodnight make out session, I believe it could be that you like me only about 6% more than I like you."

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #496 on: June 03, 2015, 03:10:44 PM »
 :lol definitely my plan since we are having fun, I was just expressing initial concerns which as I stated arent enough to make me stop or force a conversation just yet about it.  And no, we havent boned so its not like that.  We actually just had a convo about our past relationships.  Apparently we are both similar in that regards in that we were both very close to marriage and extremely unhappy and had to pull the plug.  It's always an awkward convo from my perspective in telling someone I am seeing that because I feel like they will think differently about me because I ended an engagement, but so far not a single woman has held that against me which is awesome  :tup

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #497 on: June 08, 2015, 08:59:16 PM »
I thought I was going to be in this club forever.  I'm still here, but I just had the most astounding first date ever, and she pretty much said the same thing.  She's on par with me intellectually we had an amazing conversation and shared some good beers.  If we had the conversation we had online instead of in person, I'd swear I was being catfished.  If she gets home from work early enough tomorrow, we are going to do something.  And not that I care too much, but if we do end up dating, I will probably have the DTF record for outkicking my coverage (I won't say who I think has that current title, but I will say said person is married and probably doesn't tread in this thread).
     

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #498 on: June 08, 2015, 11:56:27 PM »
Everyday I am reminded more and more of the reasons why my relationship fell into pieces. :sadpanda:
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #499 on: June 09, 2015, 05:57:57 AM »
That's great DTVT, good luck with the second date!

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/terri-trespicio/i-was-blindsided-after-tw_b_7447132.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

I found this article yesterday while browsing and thought maybe it relates to the discussions in this thread. 

Had my third date Sunday and it went really well, just hung out at my place and watched Game of Thrones and some other TV.  We had a lot of fun and she is going to come back over tonight.  The problem I have now is I am about to embark on 3 weeks of traveling (personal and work) and I don't want to be away for so long.  In the past, I always lose the girl one way or another when I travel

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #500 on: June 09, 2015, 06:54:41 AM »
That's great DTVT, good luck with the second date!

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/terri-trespicio/i-was-blindsided-after-tw_b_7447132.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

I found this article yesterday while browsing and thought maybe it relates to the discussions in this thread. 

Had my third date Sunday and it went really well, just hung out at my place and watched Game of Thrones and some other TV.  We had a lot of fun and she is going to come back over tonight.  The problem I have now is I am about to embark on 3 weeks of traveling (personal and work) and I don't want to be away for so long.  In the past, I always lose the girl one way or another when I travel

I hope everyone read the ANSWER as well as the title and the question.   Something I've said here more than once.   "Two dates" does not qualify as "blindsided".   

Anyway, hopefully you can figure out a way to make it work for you this time!  Practice makes perfect!

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #501 on: June 09, 2015, 07:10:24 AM »
Agreed, the comments are also good on that article.  The botom line I took away though is you need to be able to accept rejection to be able to date.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #502 on: June 09, 2015, 12:46:42 PM »
I think I am going to the movies with that one girl from work this weekend.

It's NOT a date of any kind... but still

I am stoked.
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #503 on: June 09, 2015, 12:49:35 PM »
I think I am going to the movies with that one girl from work this weekend.

It's NOT a date of any kind... but still

I am stoked.

I hope something like this doesn't happen.


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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #504 on: June 09, 2015, 12:52:50 PM »
:lol

Luckily we aren't friends on Facebook so.... I doubt it...
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #505 on: June 09, 2015, 01:24:27 PM »
Wow lol well at least she made that known albeit publicly

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #506 on: June 15, 2015, 07:48:22 AM »
Last night was awesome. It was NOT a date .. but it was nice to hang out with a female and not feel as if I needed to walk on eggshells. She (my coworker) and I mesh well. She's the first person I have hung out with (within my age range) in a long time that I felt 99% relaxed with.
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #507 on: June 15, 2015, 08:01:57 AM »
Last night was awesome. It was NOT a date .. but it was nice to hang out with a female and not feel as if I needed to walk on eggshells. She (my coworker) and I mesh well. She's the first person I have hung out with (within my age range) in a long time that I felt 99% relaxed with.

Even if it was a date, you shouldn't feel the need to walk on eggshells.  Regardless, that's cool to make a new friend and have fun.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #508 on: June 15, 2015, 08:26:45 AM »
I'm just used to a certain person who I still love dearly and would like to fix things with, but I have to walk on eggshells (I really can't think of a better term) most of the time when we are together.
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

-BlobVanDam on "Scarred"

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #509 on: June 25, 2015, 10:45:19 AM »
Well tomorrow I get to go home after my euro work trip and it looks like I actually was able to hold onto this girl while away.  We have plans to hang out at my place Saturday night since I think I am likely to just pass out as soon as I get home tomorrow.  She has actually been sending lots of naughty pictures and even videos to me while away which has kept me entertained  :hat

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #510 on: June 25, 2015, 06:21:54 PM »
Rawr :eyebrows:

I have not talked to that guy since my birthday party on the 12th. It ended up being really awkward and he looked like he was about to burst into tears when he left. He wrote me a letter which I still haven't responded to. *sigh*
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #511 on: July 19, 2015, 02:47:38 AM »
Just met this incredible girl a few days ago. She came over to my house with some of my good friends and we all went swimming. Sure enough, we started having some good conversations and a little while after we left, she sent me a friend request on Facebook. We talked on there and then I got her number. We've been texting a bit these past few days and we just got done skyping for about 3 hours . I couldn't sleep and it was nice talking to her about anything. We are hanging out tomorrow. I'm going to pick her up at her house and meet her parents tomorrow, looking forward to that. Probably going to catch a movie and a burger afterwards.

She's just got a wonderful personality. Extremely funny and goofy, weird humor. I can probably talk to her about anything. I'm pretty attracted to her and I know she feels the same. Looking forward to seeing her again !

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #512 on: July 19, 2015, 08:44:54 AM »
Thats awesome, the whole 3 hour convo felt like nothing is always a good sign.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #513 on: July 19, 2015, 09:12:38 AM »
I agree. I noticed talking to my ex it would get kind of boring, most of the stuff we would talk about would get old and repetitive but with the new girl, Rebecca, we could talk about the word pineapple for 15 minutes and make it fun.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #514 on: July 19, 2015, 05:09:12 PM »
Yes but talk about that pinapple for 24 years.  Lol
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #515 on: July 19, 2015, 05:44:58 PM »
Yes but talk about that pinapple for 24 years.  Lol

 :lol

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #516 on: July 20, 2015, 01:35:19 PM »
Haha!

We had a great time yesterday. I met her parents and we went to see a movie and got some pizza for lunch. Very, very laid back and fun to be around. Complete goofball, and I admire it.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #517 on: July 20, 2015, 02:03:46 PM »
Awesome... so I've been seeing the same girl for over a month now, but things have gotten pretty stale from my view.  She's a great girl in many ways and we haven't had any issues at all with getting along... but something is missing.  I just don't feel it.  I took her out for a nice dinner two weekends ago and when we sat at the table our convo was just very blah.  I dont know her well enough that we can't find things to talk about, but it just felt so dead.  So the week and weekend go by and we talk, but I significantly slowed down on texting and didn't offer to hang out at all, she offered but I couldn't that day.  So we ended up going to the 311 concert last Saturday, I had two tickets since like March but none of my friends could make it so back a few weeks ago I had offered for her to come so we went and once again, nothing was wrong with her, but things just seemed dull between us.  The concert was awesome and I had a good time, but when we got back to my place I told her I was tired and probably going to bed so she left, but that was honestly a lie.  I just didn't want to spend the rest of the night feeling like the way I felt at our dinner.  I actually wanted to tell her I thought this was going no where, but her Aunt had died a couple days before the concert and I didn't want to bring it up, she was also saying how she was so excited, so I didn't want to let her down.  Since then, she has posted numerous things on Facebook and IG about how she had so much fun with a great guy and all and it just makes me feel even worse that I don't share those same feelings.  I know what I need to do and I need to do it sooner than later, but it's not going to be easy.  Another factor that makes me feel bad is she is new to the area and doesn't really have friends here. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #518 on: July 20, 2015, 02:09:59 PM »
You just gotta rip it off like a plaster. There's no easy way to do it. But the faster, the better. Plus if it's only been a month or so if she has her wits about her she won't exactly be super invested or heartbroken, sure she'll be bummed and maybe a little upset if she really liked you but it won't have been the first time either she's not felt it with someone after a few weeks or someone has not felt it with her. That's what dating is all about, figuring if you're compatible. And if you're bored talking to her and would rather sleep than spend the night together, chances are even if she's trying to force it, she feels something is a little off herself.

She'll have noticed you slowed down on interest and texting and hanging out already so it probably won't be a huge shock. Honestly after a month if you haven't agreed on exclusivity I would just give her a call. It's not like you're dumping her, just telling her you don't want to take it any further, it doesn't warrant making it a bigger deal than it really is. Just decline her next offer to hang out, give her a call and tell her the old 'you're a great girl but I'm sure you have felt we just don't really have that chemistry we both deserve, best of luck and I'll see you around'. Gives her an out to agree with you to save face. Doesn't make false promises about being 'friends'. If after a month a guy took my time up to meet me just to tell me it wasn't working I'd think it was pretty strange and be more annoyed than if he just did the slow fade or called me up.

If you don't feel it, you don't feel it. Can't force it.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #519 on: July 20, 2015, 02:19:18 PM »
Totally agree, but I dont think I can do the " I'm sure you have felt we just don't really have that chemistry we both deserve" since it seems she seems to be very into me.  She's been using social media to let me know it, constantly posting things that pretty much says she's really into me, which i actually do find very odd.  She has flat out said it to me as well, which I didn't return so I would have thought she'd get it along with the slow down in texting... but it hasnt seemed to be the case.  I was thinking about doing it last night, but she kept texting saying she had so much fun saturday night.  I got to find a good time this week to do it.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #520 on: July 20, 2015, 07:48:47 PM »
Cramx3,

That's such an uncomfortable situation to be in, as I've been in that several times, on both ends of the spectrum. I went to lunch with this girl a few months ago, during school, it was kinda awkward. Hard to really find anything to talk about, as you said, it felt stale. But I wanted to give it more of a chance, maybe we just needed to spend more time to get more comfortable around each other, but I guess she just didn't feel like going through it, so she completely ignored me and I never heard from her again :lol

Like it was said earlier, better to do it early than later, and it sucks to see that she is really into you so soon, when you aren't really feeling it. Definitely not an easy way to go about it, but telling her straight up is the best way. Give her a call and tell her you're just not feeling it. Yeah it may be a little blunt, but  straight honesty is important in a situation like this, IMO. I don't know if you'd still like to be friends with her at the least, or if it would make it too uncomfortable for her, but something should happen soon. Last thing you need is her awaiting a proposal from you :biggrin:

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #521 on: July 29, 2015, 01:00:16 PM »
I ended it over the weekend.  Went well in my opinion, she said she noticed how I was slowly backing off so it wasn't a shock.  Glad to get that off my back so now I don't have that feeling over me. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #522 on: July 29, 2015, 06:46:35 PM »
I ended it over the weekend.  Went well in my opinion, she said she noticed how I was slowly backing off so it wasn't a shock.  Glad to get that off my back so now I don't have that feeling over me. 

Good. Relief is good.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #523 on: July 29, 2015, 07:09:47 PM »
Jesus effing christ, Biscuit. First Todd, and now Nightcrawler.  :rollin :rollin You creepy-ass mofo.  :heart :heart :heart Great movie though.

But yeah, good on you, brohan. I had to do the same thing recently. When I went on my sabbatical, I kind of left things open ended with the girl I was seeing, and when I got back I just kind of told her that nothing changed, which I didn't think it would, but apparently she did. But it's better than getting into something that grows with my own feelings festering and then something even tougher is ahead if I want to be true to myself, which is always a must. It's always tough when feelings aren't reciprocated, on either end; but it's a necessary evil, as they say. I did feel bad about it for a couple weeks and feelings take a while to...even out... But it's better in the long run for everyone involved.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #524 on: July 29, 2015, 07:31:07 PM »
Jesus effing christ, Biscuit. First Todd, and now Nightcrawler.  :rollin :rollin You creepy-ass mofo.  :heart :heart :heart Great movie though.

I like to keep things interesting  :lol