Author Topic: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip  (Read 109964 times)

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Offline bout to crash

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3115 on: October 25, 2017, 08:27:19 AM »
Aww, miss you guys  :heart
I posted in the SS thread first at least!
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Offline TioJorge

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3116 on: October 25, 2017, 11:03:12 AM »
Jackiiieeee!  :heart

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3117 on: October 25, 2017, 05:51:45 PM »
Oh heyyy! I was just thinking about the time we met!
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3118 on: October 25, 2017, 06:25:30 PM »
Jackie! It's nice to see you back out around, maybe not in this thread but still.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3119 on: October 26, 2017, 12:18:52 AM »
Oh heyyy! I was just thinking about the time we met!

That was a lot of fun! Still got your number! I was pondering shooting you a text, it'd been so long since I'd seen you active here.  :D

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3120 on: October 27, 2017, 08:38:27 AM »
That may be my old number (if it ends with a 0) but if not you're always welcome to text.
But yeah, I don't feel super enthusiastic about anybody or dating in general. Such is life.
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Offline TioJorge

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3121 on: October 27, 2017, 09:56:52 AM »
Yeah it's the old number; it's been a good while.  :laugh:

I'm in that camp too and have been mindfully staying out of the dating game for the foreseeable future. I went through a phase on the opposite end of the spectrum for a few months and while it was nice at first, it ended up feeling like a cheap substitution. Sometimes it's necessary to take a step back and out of the whole bullshit of either the dating scene and playing those games for a while.

Because try as I might to not see it as such, I am reminded time and time again that it is in fact one big game. Perhaps song and dance is a more relatable phase but either way it becomes tiresome after a while. For as much as people talk about how any kind of substantial, meaningful (a word whose meaning fizzles out before I even finish saying it) relationship is work, I end up thinking that I do enough fuckin' work in my life and would like some peace and relaxation.  :lol If I have to do that with my right hand, a bag of Swedish Fish and my PC, I can be content with that.  :millahhhh

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3122 on: October 27, 2017, 07:07:17 PM »
I totally hear that. Not only do I do enough work work, but I think dealing with my own bullshit and baggage is hard enough. Like, my relationship with myself is already difficult- why would I want to throw more people into the mix?
I feel a bit bad about it since I am dating people, but I think as long as there aren't super high expectations it's okay. They're all really busy with their own shit too and we don't see each other a ton. Hoping to feel less burnt out soon, though!
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Offline Phoenix87x

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3123 on: October 28, 2017, 02:27:18 PM »
Yeah it's the old number; it's been a good while.  :laugh:

I'm in that camp too and have been mindfully staying out of the dating game for the foreseeable future. I went through a phase on the opposite end of the spectrum for a few months and while it was nice at first, it ended up feeling like a cheap substitution. Sometimes it's necessary to take a step back and out of the whole bullshit of either the dating scene and playing those games for a while.

Because try as I might to not see it as such, I am reminded time and time again that it is in fact one big game. Perhaps song and dance is a more relatable phase but either way it becomes tiresome after a while. For as much as people talk about how any kind of substantial, meaningful (a word whose meaning fizzles out before I even finish saying it) relationship is work, I end up thinking that I do enough fuckin' work in my life and would like some peace and relaxation.  :lol If I have to do that with my right hand, a bag of Swedish Fish and my PC, I can be content with that.  :millahhhh

Amen to all of that.

Being single again has made my life SOOO much less complicated and peaceful. And "game" is such a good way of putting. So much time was wasted wondering: is this parter mad at me and why? Is the relationship still strong, do they still really love me, why are we fighting again, why am I walking on eggshells? All of that daily frustration gets old. I knew I was very unhappy, but terrified to let go at the same time and it was driving me crazy.

Now a days I really am not looking for another relationship. They were all amazing and wonderful in the beginning, but always end up running their course, and the acumulated resentment turns into daily or weekly bickering or fights. I just don't want to deal with that anymore.

And I really don't ever want to get "co-dependant" on another person again. Oh my god, going through the last breakup was like detoxing off drugs, and was extremely painful. I am happy now, just living my life, spending time with my friends and pursuing hobbies. I no longer feel like I need a relationship to feel complete and have a fulfilling life.

If I happen to get into another relationship later down the line then cool. If not, then that's cool too.
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Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3124 on: November 03, 2017, 11:50:25 AM »
New dilemma: My stepsister has this friend. She’s cute, fun, and a cool person. I’m in to her and she’s into me but we always held off on pursuing anything because we didn’t want to fuck up her and my sister’s friendship. Now the two of them aren’t really talking (petty shit). We ended up matching on a dating app, but idk if dating her will upset my sister given the fact that the two of them aren’t on good terms right now. I hate making the people close to me upset. At the same time, I shouldn’t have to live my life based on what other people think and how other people feel. Thoughts?
“People figured out that the white thing that comes out of cows' titties could be drunk, and the relation between sweet desires and women's bellies growing up for 9 months. It can't be THAT hard to figure out how a trumpet works.”

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Online sylvan

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3125 on: November 03, 2017, 12:09:40 PM »
IMO that's an easy one. Go out with this girl, see what happens, and then approach the sister thing if you get to it. If it goes nowhere, no need to even mention it. If it goes well, like more than just good fucking, then tell your sister that it's something real, and not just fucking around. If it gets to that, hopefully she can get over the "petty shit" and realize that two people she cares about also care about each other... her bro and her ho :biggrin:

Offline Stadler

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3126 on: November 06, 2017, 08:43:05 AM »
Just be honest, above all things.

Who knows?  Maybe your relationship with her will be the catalyst for her healing the wound with your sis?  We can't see the future.  You just have to walk into it on as solid and authentic ground as you can.   

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3127 on: November 10, 2017, 12:52:13 AM »
New dilemma: My stepsister has this friend. She’s cute, fun, and a cool person. I’m in to her and she’s into me but we always held off on pursuing anything because we didn’t want to fuck up her and my sister’s friendship. Now the two of them aren’t really talking (petty shit). We ended up matching on a dating app, but idk if dating her will upset my sister given the fact that the two of them aren’t on good terms right now. I hate making the people close to me upset. At the same time, I shouldn’t have to live my life based on what other people think and how other people feel. Thoughts?

I think you answered your own question--I shouldn’t have to live my life based on what other people think and how other people feel. That's pretty important. However, at the same time, I do understand your concern because one of the potential people involved is your sister. But, if it doesn't go beyond one casual date.. what's the harm? I say go for it and see what happens.

Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3128 on: January 04, 2018, 12:35:12 PM »
Still bouncing around different dating sites. I found one called Metalhead Date. It's not that bad really. Obviously I find more things in common with the women there but it's not that popular so there might only be a handful of women in my area.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3129 on: January 04, 2018, 01:13:30 PM »
Been casually dating this really nice Filipina girl. It's basically what I need at the moment. Nothing too serious since I'm moving, but a rather hot girl that is really nice, sweet and great to be around.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3130 on: January 04, 2018, 01:32:06 PM »
It's something, right?

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3131 on: January 04, 2018, 01:48:42 PM »
It's something, right?

It's exactly what I need right now. Like I said, since I'm moving, I don't want a serious thing at all right now. So this is perfect.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3132 on: January 04, 2018, 01:59:09 PM »
I'm glad the pieces fell into place for you.

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3133 on: January 04, 2018, 06:39:56 PM »
Keep having chances to meet up with girls. Keep getting cold feet. Social anxiety is a bitch sometimes.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3134 on: January 05, 2018, 10:23:10 AM »
There is a chance that I may be doing it and finally moving out.

I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3135 on: January 07, 2018, 06:52:25 PM »
Keep having chances to meet up with girls. Keep getting cold feet. Social anxiety is a bitch sometimes.

I empathize with you.

Offline Sycsa

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3136 on: January 09, 2018, 10:57:56 AM »
So, after five years in a seemingly ideal relationship, I'm joining the club.

Just a couple of months ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about an article I read the day before. The author (a 20-something guy) related that he participated in a two-week conference far away from home with his peers. Seminars during the day, drinking and partying through the night, you know the drill. Anyway, the point was that there were 12 girls, all of them in a committed relationship back home, some of them even engaged. Some took a few days of getting hit on continuously, some took more than a week to crack, but in the end, 10 out of the 12 wound up cheating on their respective partner. The article hit home, because I've been going to conferences for years, witnessing the very same thing. One girl even cheated after she proudly flaunted around her diamond engagement ring she just got from her boyfriend the month before. Another one married his boyfriend a few months after the conference where she cheated on him with two guys.

But I digress. I'm not going for any sexist conclusions here, people are people, some cheat, some don't, the reason I told this story is that I was sure that if it came to my girlfriend, she'd be among the two out of ten that didn't cheat, no matter what. That's what I told my friend two months ago as well. Everybody thought that something like that could never happen, even her mother and brother, so it was a huge shock to the system when it turned out that she did, in fact, cheat on me, under some of the worst imaginable circumstances.

It hurts like hell, I have no appetite, I have trouble sleeping, the works. I have plenty of good things in my life, a fantastic family, great friends, lots of hobbies, so I'll cope with it, but it'll take time. Fundamentally, I know that we weren't right for each other to begin with, and if I approach it with logic and reason, we would have ended up apart sooner or later. So, good riddance! But emotions have little to do with logic and reason, and -despite our differences- I really loved her.

Anyway, I found this picture, it's a neat little snapshot of how my life was nearly 5 years ago. We had just gotten together and had a long distance relationship for a few months. We would talk on Skype for hours on end. I was a night owl, and she would go to sleep leaving her camera on, and I'd play Starcraft or whatever, with her live feed in the corner of my screen, and I'd glance at her from time to time. Cute stuff.

Right around that time, I really got into DTF as well. I was so proud that someone had sigged one of my comments, that I took a screenshot. And there she is, on Skype, sleeping like a baby. I don't know why I was searching YouTube for hookers & blow, though. Good times, good times. But seasons change, and now it's time to take something for the pain, and turn the page.

Screenshot: https://i.imgur.com/jLD2Pmq.jpg


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Offline Phoenix87x

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3137 on: January 09, 2018, 09:02:59 PM »
Very sorry to hear that. I remember how much it hurts and its not fun. Interestingly enough, studies have shown that during a breakup, the parts of the brain that light up are the same that light up during drug withdrawal, which is why it hurts so damn bad and definitely how I would describe it. I basically was "addicted" to having my partner around.

"Seemingly Ideal relationship" is how I would have described my last relationship as well, but alas like most it ran its course and fell apart.

And fuck cheating. Its super lame and what ended my engagement to my Ex. I couldn't even look at her, let alone respect or trust her. And thus the relationship was done, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself we could have future. I remember after her admitting to doing it saying "but you don't understand, that's not me, that's not who I am". I couldn't help but laughing and saying "it is who you are, don't try and run away from it", but she tried her best to not take responsibility. Whatever, screw that.

It had to end and it did. It hurt like a mother fucker. And I am dead serious when I say that it was the worst pain I have ever felt in the 30 years I've been alive, but ultimately time healed those wounds, and my single life has been amazing. No stress, no bullshit and I have no desire to go back.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3138 on: January 12, 2018, 01:28:07 PM »

 I remember after her admitting to doing it saying "but you don't understand, that's not me, that's not who I am". I couldn't help but laughing

You were laughing because she made a Count of Tuscany reference.

Wait, are you John Petrucci?
     

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3139 on: February 14, 2018, 08:50:03 PM »
So here’s my new situation: One of my best friends just broke up with her boyfriend a little over a month ago. Now we’ve always had a bit of a connection to the point that even my ex saw it when we were still together. I’ve been starting to see signs of her liking me which may be real or may be me reading too much into things. If she does like me (and I kinda like her too), I feel like that would be opening up a whole new world of complexities, like the fact that my ex (who is one of her best friends) and I are still good friends and bandmates and my best friend used to have a thing for this girl. I know I’m probably thinking way too far ahead and this could amount to precisely nothing, but if there is something there, should I pursue it despite my concerns or is the potential for a complicated situation not worth the risk?
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Offline Stadler

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3140 on: February 15, 2018, 09:37:16 AM »
A wife keeping photos - explicit - of her and another man.  Cheating or not cheating? 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3141 on: February 15, 2018, 10:00:59 AM »
A wife keeping photos - explicit - of her and another man.  Cheating or not cheating?

Depends. Either way, it's something that should be addressed. If it's just an up close picture of the wife sucking a cock with the dude's face nowhere to be found, that's one thing. If someone set up a timer on a camera and got full body shots of both people, faces included, that's a little different. I'd be curious as to the reasons being given as to why she's keeping them in the first place.

I'm not sure how I'd feel about that. V and I have discussed our sex lives in very great detail. If pictures surfaced, I don't think it would bother me too much. Maybe I'm just sick in the head, but I might want to make copies, you know, for science and stuff. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3142 on: February 15, 2018, 10:02:36 AM »
So here’s my new situation: One of my best friends just broke up with her boyfriend a little over a month ago. Now we’ve always had a bit of a connection to the point that even my ex saw it when we were still together. I’ve been starting to see signs of her liking me which may be real or may be me reading too much into things. If she does like me (and I kinda like her too), I feel like that would be opening up a whole new world of complexities, like the fact that my ex (who is one of her best friends) and I are still good friends and bandmates and my best friend used to have a thing for this girl. I know I’m probably thinking way too far ahead and this could amount to precisely nothing, but if there is something there, should I pursue it despite my concerns or is the potential for a complicated situation not worth the risk?

The heart wants what the heart wants. Just be upfront with your friend/bandmate about it. Even if you don't get his blessing, don't let that stop you.

Offline Stadler

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3143 on: February 15, 2018, 11:21:33 AM »
A wife keeping photos - explicit - of her and another man.  Cheating or not cheating?

Depends. Either way, it's something that should be addressed. If it's just an up close picture of the wife sucking a cock with the dude's face nowhere to be found, that's one thing. If someone set up a timer on a camera and got full body shots of both people, faces included, that's a little different. I'd be curious as to the reasons being given as to why she's keeping them in the first place.

I'm not sure how I'd feel about that. V and I have discussed our sex lives in very great detail. If pictures surfaced, I don't think it would bother me too much. Maybe I'm just sick in the head, but I might want to make copies, you know, for science and stuff.

That's part of the problem.  My friend (it's his sitch) and I have talked about this a lot.  I haven't seen the photos (I did ask, though, but I was clearly joking).    From what I understand, there are two shots of one guy's gloryhammer.  One shot of her in a compromising position taken by that guy, and two other pictures - like you described - of her and a second guy en flagrante delicto, but you can't see faces. 

We're both on our second marriage and talked a lot about dealbreakers for round two (the main one:  COMMUNICATION!!!!!).  We've both been plagued by wives that seemed to be reticent to be open.  I don't really know what to tell him.  I know for me, I don't need details ("his cock curved to the left...") but I'm not going to lie: I'm the kind of guy that seeks answers, and will formulate scenarios that fit the facts.  If the facts don't add up to the story she's telling, I have big issues with trust.  In 99% of cases, that makes me an awesome husband/boyfriend/friend/coworker, but it does mean that grey areas are a problem zone in relationships.  I also know that in my case, my wife had a guy before me that she has been less than open about, and seems to want to lie about  him (she claims that it's because she doesn't want to revisit that time, but she never says WHY).   I know he's in the same boat with the "previous guy", but I don't know if the communication on that point is the same.  In my case, he couldn't be faithful and didn't have two quarters to rub together; I don't know why my friend's wife bailed on her previous beau), so in my darkest hours I wonder if I didn't get the gig because I'm reliable and can provide and that he is the "Christian Grey" of her fantansies.  So it's very possible that she carries a torch for that guy in some form or another, and he's not sure; while I'm projecting tremendously, my friend asked for help and I don't know that I can be objective here.


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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3144 on: February 15, 2018, 11:34:07 AM »
I just watched the Black Mirror episode The Entire History of You which was about having recordings of your memories from what you saw, and the plot centered around a guy who suspected his wife was lying about being with a guy and the guy was saying how he watches his memories of girls he bangs.  Which kind of drives the guy nuts.  I won't spoil it, but it's a more futuristic scenario of what you guys are talking about.

And on a side note, I apparently have some nude photos of my ex.  I thought I deleted them, but I found them on my phone which is odd because I didn't get this phone until way after I had last seen her so it was definitely some Verizon synch which I didn't even know happened, the pics were at the bottom of my phone organized by date.  But somehow they showed up there and I freaked out because I noticed it while showing my current girlfriend photos in my phone.  Luckily she wasn't paying attention at the end so she didn't see, which would of required some explaining and honestly a possible story she wouldn't believe as I am telling the truth here but it seems far fetched from a female perspective that nudes of your ex just happened to show up on your newer phone. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3145 on: February 15, 2018, 12:39:50 PM »
So, after five years in a seemingly ideal relationship, I'm joining the club.

Just a couple of months ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about an article I read the day before. The author (a 20-something guy) related that he participated in a two-week conference far away from home with his peers. Seminars during the day, drinking and partying through the night, you know the drill. Anyway, the point was that there were 12 girls, all of them in a committed relationship back home, some of them even engaged. Some took a few days of getting hit on continuously, some took more than a week to crack, but in the end, 10 out of the 12 wound up cheating on their respective partner. The article hit home, because I've been going to conferences for years, witnessing the very same thing. One girl even cheated after she proudly flaunted around her diamond engagement ring she just got from her boyfriend the month before. Another one married his boyfriend a few months after the conference where she cheated on him with two guys.

But I digress. I'm not going for any sexist conclusions here, people are people, some cheat, some don't, the reason I told this story is that I was sure that if it came to my girlfriend, she'd be among the two out of ten that didn't cheat, no matter what. That's what I told my friend two months ago as well. Everybody thought that something like that could never happen, even her mother and brother, so it was a huge shock to the system when it turned out that she did, in fact, cheat on me, under some of the worst imaginable circumstances.

This is similar to my current relationship in that despite any trials and tribulations the one thing I cannot imagine happening is her cheating on me. That's not me being boastful of any way, but without getting down to the lengthy minutia of everything I would be absolutely floored if it did happen. So I really can't imagine the scenario if it did, and I'm sorry you're going through it.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3146 on: February 15, 2018, 01:32:09 PM »
I just watched the Black Mirror episode The Entire History of You which was about having recordings of your memories from what you saw, and the plot centered around a guy who suspected his wife was lying about being with a guy and the guy was saying how he watches his memories of girls he bangs.  Which kind of drives the guy nuts.  I won't spoil it, but it's a more futuristic scenario of what you guys are talking about.

And on a side note, I apparently have some nude photos of my ex.  I thought I deleted them, but I found them on my phone which is odd because I didn't get this phone until way after I had last seen her so it was definitely some Verizon synch which I didn't even know happened, the pics were at the bottom of my phone organized by date.  But somehow they showed up there and I freaked out because I noticed it while showing my current girlfriend photos in my phone.  Luckily she wasn't paying attention at the end so she didn't see, which would of required some explaining and honestly a possible story she wouldn't believe as I am telling the truth here but it seems far fetched from a female perspective that nudes of your ex just happened to show up on your newer phone.

YES!  I actually watched that about a week and a half ago, or so, and mentioned it to my friend.  Though the ending was... I can't ruin it, but it wasn't satisfying in the context of this specific discussion. 

Offline cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3147 on: February 15, 2018, 02:04:50 PM »
No, it wasn't a good ending IMO either, but the context.  I literally watched that episode last night  :lol

Offline Phoenix87x

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3148 on: February 16, 2018, 04:37:15 AM »
A wife keeping photos - explicit - of her and another man.  Cheating or not cheating?

Is it formal cheating? No
Is it a slap in the face and disrespectful?  yes

I would feel pretty hurt by that, and I deliberately don't keep pictures of an ex around because:

A. I don't want to hurt the person I am currently with or make them feel bad/upset
B. To dwell in the past is to die in the present. I do my best to make peace with former relationships and move on with my life.

Don't play with me, cause you're playing with fire


Offline Phoenix87x

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3149 on: February 20, 2018, 05:33:00 AM »
Well,

I was getting too close to this 44 year old RED head mother of 2 at work, and I didn't even realize I was doing it until my buddy pulled me aside and smartened me up. Its so amazing how attraction works. Its started just as joking around, then slipped into teasing and then basically was full on flirting. So my buddy was like "yo, tone that shit down. Remember you're at work, not at the club" and i did. I swear to god I don't know what it is about me that attracts cougars with kids... Last time I was 25. Now at 30, I'm not doing it again, and since its at work, I'm DEFINITELY not doing it. 
Don't play with me, cause you're playing with fire