Author Topic: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip  (Read 84153 times)

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Offline bout to crash

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3115 on: October 25, 2017, 08:27:19 AM »
Aww, miss you guys  :heart
I posted in the SS thread first at least!
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Offline TioJorge

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3116 on: October 25, 2017, 11:03:12 AM »
Jackiiieeee!  :heart

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3117 on: October 25, 2017, 05:51:45 PM »
Oh heyyy! I was just thinking about the time we met!
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Online ReaperKK

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3118 on: October 25, 2017, 06:25:30 PM »
Jackie! It's nice to see you back out around, maybe not in this thread but still.

Offline TioJorge

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3119 on: October 26, 2017, 12:18:52 AM »
Oh heyyy! I was just thinking about the time we met!

That was a lot of fun! Still got your number! I was pondering shooting you a text, it'd been so long since I'd seen you active here.  :D

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3120 on: October 27, 2017, 08:38:27 AM »
That may be my old number (if it ends with a 0) but if not you're always welcome to text.
But yeah, I don't feel super enthusiastic about anybody or dating in general. Such is life.
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Offline TioJorge

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3121 on: October 27, 2017, 09:56:52 AM »
Yeah it's the old number; it's been a good while.  :laugh:

I'm in that camp too and have been mindfully staying out of the dating game for the foreseeable future. I went through a phase on the opposite end of the spectrum for a few months and while it was nice at first, it ended up feeling like a cheap substitution. Sometimes it's necessary to take a step back and out of the whole bullshit of either the dating scene and playing those games for a while.

Because try as I might to not see it as such, I am reminded time and time again that it is in fact one big game. Perhaps song and dance is a more relatable phase but either way it becomes tiresome after a while. For as much as people talk about how any kind of substantial, meaningful (a word whose meaning fizzles out before I even finish saying it) relationship is work, I end up thinking that I do enough fuckin' work in my life and would like some peace and relaxation.  :lol If I have to do that with my right hand, a bag of Swedish Fish and my PC, I can be content with that.  :millahhhh

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3122 on: October 27, 2017, 07:07:17 PM »
I totally hear that. Not only do I do enough work work, but I think dealing with my own bullshit and baggage is hard enough. Like, my relationship with myself is already difficult- why would I want to throw more people into the mix?
I feel a bit bad about it since I am dating people, but I think as long as there aren't super high expectations it's okay. They're all really busy with their own shit too and we don't see each other a ton. Hoping to feel less burnt out soon, though!
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Online Phoenix87x

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3123 on: October 28, 2017, 02:27:18 PM »
Yeah it's the old number; it's been a good while.  :laugh:

I'm in that camp too and have been mindfully staying out of the dating game for the foreseeable future. I went through a phase on the opposite end of the spectrum for a few months and while it was nice at first, it ended up feeling like a cheap substitution. Sometimes it's necessary to take a step back and out of the whole bullshit of either the dating scene and playing those games for a while.

Because try as I might to not see it as such, I am reminded time and time again that it is in fact one big game. Perhaps song and dance is a more relatable phase but either way it becomes tiresome after a while. For as much as people talk about how any kind of substantial, meaningful (a word whose meaning fizzles out before I even finish saying it) relationship is work, I end up thinking that I do enough fuckin' work in my life and would like some peace and relaxation.  :lol If I have to do that with my right hand, a bag of Swedish Fish and my PC, I can be content with that.  :millahhhh

Amen to all of that.

Being single again has made my life SOOO much less complicated and peaceful. And "game" is such a good way of putting. So much time was wasted wondering: is this parter mad at me and why? Is the relationship still strong, do they still really love me, why are we fighting again, why am I walking on eggshells? All of that daily frustration gets old. I knew I was very unhappy, but terrified to let go at the same time and it was driving me crazy.

Now a days I really am not looking for another relationship. They were all amazing and wonderful in the beginning, but always end up running their course, and the acumulated resentment turns into daily or weekly bickering or fights. I just don't want to deal with that anymore.

And I really don't ever want to get "co-dependant" on another person again. Oh my god, going through the last breakup was like detoxing off drugs, and was extremely painful. I am happy now, just living my life, spending time with my friends and pursuing hobbies. I no longer feel like I need a relationship to feel complete and have a fulfilling life.

If I happen to get into another relationship later down the line then cool. If not, then that's cool too.
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Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3124 on: November 03, 2017, 11:50:25 AM »
New dilemma: My stepsister has this friend. She’s cute, fun, and a cool person. I’m in to her and she’s into me but we always held off on pursuing anything because we didn’t want to fuck up her and my sister’s friendship. Now the two of them aren’t really talking (petty shit). We ended up matching on a dating app, but idk if dating her will upset my sister given the fact that the two of them aren’t on good terms right now. I hate making the people close to me upset. At the same time, I shouldn’t have to live my life based on what other people think and how other people feel. Thoughts?
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Offline sylvan

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3125 on: November 03, 2017, 12:09:40 PM »
IMO that's an easy one. Go out with this girl, see what happens, and then approach the sister thing if you get to it. If it goes nowhere, no need to even mention it. If it goes well, like more than just good fucking, then tell your sister that it's something real, and not just fucking around. If it gets to that, hopefully she can get over the "petty shit" and realize that two people she cares about also care about each other... her bro and her ho :biggrin:

Offline Stadler

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3126 on: November 06, 2017, 08:43:05 AM »
Just be honest, above all things.

Who knows?  Maybe your relationship with her will be the catalyst for her healing the wound with your sis?  We can't see the future.  You just have to walk into it on as solid and authentic ground as you can.   

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3127 on: November 10, 2017, 12:52:13 AM »
New dilemma: My stepsister has this friend. She’s cute, fun, and a cool person. I’m in to her and she’s into me but we always held off on pursuing anything because we didn’t want to fuck up her and my sister’s friendship. Now the two of them aren’t really talking (petty shit). We ended up matching on a dating app, but idk if dating her will upset my sister given the fact that the two of them aren’t on good terms right now. I hate making the people close to me upset. At the same time, I shouldn’t have to live my life based on what other people think and how other people feel. Thoughts?

I think you answered your own question--I shouldn’t have to live my life based on what other people think and how other people feel. That's pretty important. However, at the same time, I do understand your concern because one of the potential people involved is your sister. But, if it doesn't go beyond one casual date.. what's the harm? I say go for it and see what happens.