Author Topic: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip  (Read 60890 times)

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Offline sylvan

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3010 on: March 15, 2017, 08:56:33 AM »
It sucks to live in the past, for whatever reason. I think the only thing I can say is an opinion, but DO NOT let what someone else did change the way you feel about this person. It's up to you to decide if she's different or not. Two things: Imagine it turned around, and her not giving you a chance because she's afraid to get burned. It sucks to be on that side of things, thinking that there could be something special if only he/she could see that you're not the same person that burned them before. And then there's the "what if" feelings. Are you prepared to reach a point in the future where you'll question what could have been? And the opportunity has passed. Most people don't get second chances when it comes to that stuff.

If it doesn't subside, I'd recommend finding a counselor or therapist where you can just unload all of those feelings and let it out to a third party, who may be able to give you advice.  Counseling may be covered by your health insurance as well.

Fuck that, save your money! Just read through the last 86 pages and that will be all the therapy you need! And that's only a half-joke (if you have real issues, a mental health professional is a good start), because you'll find all sorts of insecurities and questions that persist in OUR heads. And that OUR is pretty damn collective. I think you'll find that a decently large cross-section of inter-personal relationship issues exists right here.  Just read, and I can almost guarantee you'll find some perspective, and maybe some clarity.

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3011 on: March 15, 2017, 10:07:02 PM »
Im not really that active on this forum anymore, but I just need to get something out.

So..
I've been dating this girl for 3-4 months now, and she is fantastic in so many ways. We share many interests, and we get along really well. When we first started dating I fell in love with her pretty quickly, and she fell in love with me as well.
The problem is..three years ago my ex-wife cheated on me. We broke up a couple of months later, and since then I've been single. I've been on a couple of dates since then, but every time it starts to get somewhat serious, I back out. Im really scared that my next relationship will end up the same way. Im not necessarily scared that this girl will cheat on me in the future, but Im scared that things will end up badly in some way or another. I know that these feelings arent rational, but it's starting to happen again. The strong feelings I have for this girl is starting to evolve into panic, and I feel a desperate need to back out of this as well. I've been open to her about it, but now it's starting to get really bad. Everything have been really awesome between us, but I just can't help it.
Have anybody else experienced this? It's driving me insane!

You can't live in the past or be scared of the future. Just enjoy the present. If you're having a good time with this girl, then be happy. Life is too short to not take a leap of faith from time to time.

Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3012 on: April 03, 2017, 05:09:28 AM »
It has been a while but I have two girls that I'm speaking to at the moment. They're both exactly the kind I would want to be with. I am not going to settle for anything less, even if it takes longer, so I'm being exceedingly picky. One lives in Queens and the other in Eatontown, NJ. One of them is very spiritual and into yoga, Reiki, Paganism, and the like. She tried ayahuasca during her travels last year. The other girl is quirky but intelligent. She has three kids and is a fire-kissed goddess.


Offline Adami

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3013 on: April 03, 2017, 10:18:09 PM »
the other in Eatontown, NJ.

TURN BACK NOW!


For the first time in way too long, I actually have a crush on someone.

Unfortunately that someone is a co-worker.

More unfortunately that person will be leaving the state around July or something.

Hung out with her yesterday for a bit and had a great time but I'll have to keep it all in check.

So Thursday night I invited her over to study and crash and my place so we could carpool to work. I was pretty nervous but eventually made my move.

Success! We're taking things slowly, especially since we're both busy, but now we're talking every day, and making/cuddling when we see each other. Going to try to pick things up soon. Yay.

Only sad part is she's moving to Arizona at the end of June. :(
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Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3014 on: April 03, 2017, 10:27:31 PM »
Moving? That sucks. You might have to accelerate the charm and get her to stay.

Offline Adami

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3015 on: April 03, 2017, 10:34:32 PM »
Moving? That sucks. You might have to accelerate the charm and get her to stay.

Well it's an internship necessary for our school so she's going. However it's only a year and we both want to end up in New York. I'd be cool with long distance since it's doable between LA and Arizona. Just not sure if she'd be down. We'll see.
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Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3016 on: April 03, 2017, 10:37:08 PM »
For how long is it?

Offline Adami

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3017 on: April 03, 2017, 10:40:57 PM »
For how long is it?

Just a year. Unless she falls in love with Tucson and decides to stay.
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Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3018 on: April 03, 2017, 10:45:51 PM »
There's always that. I suppose it's too soon to make any drastic career changes for a woman.

Offline Adami

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3019 on: April 03, 2017, 10:48:34 PM »
Oh I don't plan on it. We both go to the same school, but she's a year ahead of me (though younger) and in a PhD program while I'm in the PsyD.

So her next academic year will be spent in internship, while I'm still stuck in LA for that year. Then when she's done with internship, I start mine. Ideally, at that point, I'd get an internship in NY and she'd move there anyway since she's a New Yorker and wants to go back.

I'm going to do what I need to do, it would just be nice if that could involve her.
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Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3020 on: April 03, 2017, 11:07:31 PM »
See what happens. Maybe she'll be on-board for making the long distance thing work.

Online Stadler

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3021 on: April 04, 2017, 07:25:01 AM »
Oh I don't plan on it. We both go to the same school, but she's a year ahead of me (though younger) and in a PhD program while I'm in the PsyD.

So her next academic year will be spent in internship, while I'm still stuck in LA for that year. Then when she's done with internship, I start mine. Ideally, at that point, I'd get an internship in NY and she'd move there anyway since she's a New Yorker and wants to go back.

I'm going to do what I need to do, it would just be nice if that could involve her.

Man plans, and God laughs.   If it's worth figuring out, you'll figure it out.   Ride the wave and make no decisions until you have to.  That's my advice. 

Offline Adami

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3022 on: April 04, 2017, 08:14:17 AM »
Oh I don't plan on it. We both go to the same school, but she's a year ahead of me (though younger) and in a PhD program while I'm in the PsyD.

So her next academic year will be spent in internship, while I'm still stuck in LA for that year. Then when she's done with internship, I start mine. Ideally, at that point, I'd get an internship in NY and she'd move there anyway since she's a New Yorker and wants to go back.

I'm going to do what I need to do, it would just be nice if that could involve her.

Man plans, and God laughs.   If it's worth figuring out, you'll figure it out.   Ride the wave and make no decisions until you have to.  That's my advice. 

....why is Hef laughing at me?  :'(
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Online Stadler

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3023 on: April 04, 2017, 09:46:16 AM »
Hey, uh, I don't who to ask in PM, but... is Jackie ok?  Haven't seen her around.

Offline Adami

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3024 on: April 04, 2017, 09:47:04 AM »
Hey, uh, I don't who to ask in PM, but... is Jackie ok?  Haven't seen her around.

She's cool. Just not posting here as much. I'll let her know you were worried.
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Offline Adami

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3025 on: April 06, 2017, 10:08:37 AM »
So the good news: She's coming over tonight after class, have planned a sushi dinner out, then a movie at my place with some wine (for her) that I bought, before I just go nuts. She's staying the night and we got tomorrow together too.

Bad news: Hit both of my legs really hard yesterday on my car door and now anything that involves moving my legs is really painful.
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Offline sylvan

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3026 on: April 06, 2017, 10:23:10 AM »
Bad news: Hit both of my legs really hard yesterday on my car door and now anything that involves moving my legs is really painful.

I just recently found out that I tore the labrum in my right hip. Well, I hooked up with this chick a few weeks ago, and my hips were a little sore afterwards. I woke up the next day and couldn't walk right for 3 days :rollin. Proceed at your own risk lol.

Offline cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3027 on: April 06, 2017, 11:00:12 AM »
 :lol

And awesome Adami, sounds like a nice romantic evening  :corn

Offline Adami

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3028 on: April 06, 2017, 11:17:43 AM »
:lol

And awesome Adami, sounds like a nice romantic evening  :corn

It's a good thing I'm a straight male, because god damn my knees would go out quickly right now.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3029 on: April 06, 2017, 01:18:12 PM »
Bad news: Hit both of my legs really hard yesterday on my car door and now anything that involves moving my legs is really painful.

I just recently found out that I tore the labrum in my right hip. Well, I hooked up with this chick a few weeks ago, and my hips were a little sore afterwards. I woke up the next day and couldn't walk right for 3 days :rollin. Proceed at your own risk lol.
So the good news: She's coming over tonight after class, have planned a sushi dinner out, then a movie at my place with some wine (for her) that I bought, before I just go nuts. She's staying the night and we got tomorrow together too.

Bad news: Hit both of my legs really hard yesterday on my car door and now anything that involves moving my legs is really painful.

I'm no Doctor Ruth, but I saw in a movie once where the guy was lying on his back and basically wasn't moving a whole lot (except for the parts that mattered).   Just a tip in case you old men have another crack at the apple and you're still in physical therapy.

:)

Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3030 on: April 06, 2017, 01:34:53 PM »
It has been a while but I have two girls that I'm speaking to at the moment. They're both exactly the kind I would want to be with. I am not going to settle for anything less, even if it takes longer, so I'm being exceedingly picky. One lives in Queens and the other in Eatontown, NJ. One of them is very spiritual and into yoga, Reiki, Paganism, and the like. She tried ayahuasca during her travels last year. The other girl is quirky but intelligent. She has three kids and is a fire-kissed goddess.

And just like that they're both out of the picture.

Offline JayOctavarium

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3031 on: April 09, 2017, 10:32:35 AM »
So my relationship is getting better.. at least at the moment we are on a high.

Its funny.. so remember that chick I met at my office job, whom I got kinda close to, who had a hint of crazy about her?

Well I guess she became... obsessed with me. She actually came by 2x since I came back to my security job and walked with me and chit chatted... But it became obvious what her motives were. I made it very clear that my relationship wasn't going anywhere and I've been working on it, but she didn't want just a friendship. She basically gave me an ultimatum back in Jan to dump my gf or she wouldn't talk to me.


So what did I do?

I politely told her to go fuck herself.


She made it seem like talking to her, as platonic as it was, was cheating.

A month later, she starts texting me... and sending me screencaps of all the stupid messages dudes send her on whatever dating website she's on. She can't stand people who talk like they're gangsta, and would fuck with them (grammar nazi type shit). I made a comment on how I was on a dating site a few years ago (when my relationship was... basically not a thing for a while).. and had never done anything with  it after creating it. She called me a disgusting cheater, and stopped talking to me.

Whatever. Fuck her.

2 weeks ago, she sends me a message on Snapchat. Calling me a dirty liar. I guess she had looked up that old dormant dating profile (which literally hadn't been touched in years). She caught me off guard, so I asked what she meant. No Answer. So I blocked her. I hope that's the last I hear from her.

The shitty thing though, is the fact that 2 of my close friends work in the same building as she does, which is right down the street from my house. I've been wanting to go meet up with them for lunch... but I KNOW I will run into her.

I don't want nor need that drama anymore. lol
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

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Offline Ħ

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3032 on: April 22, 2017, 02:01:46 PM »
Anyone familiar with Corey Wayne? I've been reading his book "How to be a 3% man" on Audible, as well as watching his youtube videos. His stuff has really helped me understand women, understanding what they want in a man, and understanding how to treat them. I've been applying his advice to a tee in my latest relationship with a girl and damn, this is the best relationship I've ever been in. I highly recommend checking out Corey Wayne's stuff if you struggle in this area.
"All great works are prepared in the desert, including the redemption of the world. The precursors, the followers, the Master Himself, all obeyed or have to obey one and the same law. Prophets, apostles, preachers, martyrs, pioneers of knowledge, inspired artists in every art, ordinary men and the Man-God, all pay tribute to loneliness, to the life of silence, to the night." - A. G. Sertillanges

Offline Phoenix87x

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3033 on: April 22, 2017, 02:31:10 PM »
I like corey wayne's stuff. He presents a lot of great points, and I had him like on 24/7 repeat after my last (extremely painful) break up. A friend of mine told me to watch some MGTOW videos, so I might check that out as well.
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Online Skeever

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3034 on: April 22, 2017, 07:05:06 PM »
Anyone familiar with Corey Wayne? I've been reading his book "How to be a 3% man" on Audible, as well as watching his youtube videos. His stuff has really helped me understand women, understanding what they want in a man, and understanding how to treat them. I've been applying his advice to a tee in my latest relationship with a girl and damn, this is the best relationship I've ever been in. I highly recommend checking out Corey Wayne's stuff if you struggle in this area.

These guys are pretty much snake oil salesmen, but what's worse is the mentality revealed by the comments on the videos. Lots of resentment and open wounds on full display.

You don't need a book about how to "be more alpha" to get a girlfriend. Unfortunately I think a lot of these types of books are targeted to a very insecure demographic of men who are almost scared of women and treat them like paintings, or an ivory box.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3035 on: April 22, 2017, 07:35:01 PM »
women and treat them like paintings, or an ivory box.

"But I love you"
     

Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3036 on: April 22, 2017, 07:58:58 PM »
Books on how to understand women...I feel like I'm in the middle of a bad HBO sitcom plot.  :lol

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3037 on: April 24, 2017, 07:18:49 AM »
Anyone familiar with Corey Wayne? I've been reading his book "How to be a 3% man" on Audible, as well as watching his youtube videos. His stuff has really helped me understand women, understanding what they want in a man, and understanding how to treat them. I've been applying his advice to a tee in my latest relationship with a girl and damn, this is the best relationship I've ever been in. I highly recommend checking out Corey Wayne's stuff if you struggle in this area.

These guys are pretty much snake oil salesmen, but what's worse is the mentality revealed by the comments on the videos. Lots of resentment and open wounds on full display.

You don't need a book about how to "be more alpha" to get a girlfriend. Unfortunately I think a lot of these types of books are targeted to a very insecure demographic of men who are almost scared of women and treat them like paintings, or an ivory box.

I don't know Corey Wayne from a bag of potato chips, but there's nothing worse than that stereotypical guy who thinks all women are predatory whores who get their kicks trampling emotionally sensitive men's hearts for sport, all because they fixated on ONE woman - out of the 3.5 BILLION that live on the planet, and they didn't return the affection when he gave her a locket and a mix tape (likely of Opeth or something similarly romantic) back in 10th grade.   

Look, women are not a different species, and they're not from another planet.  Just like not everyone likes every band, or every food, or every pair of pants, so people don't like everyone.  That ONE GIRL - or even two or three - rejected you, doesn't mean anything other than that wasn't the person for you.   Move on.   As someone smarter than me once said, "there's a seat for every ass".     

Offline cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3038 on: April 24, 2017, 08:24:29 AM »
Look, women are not a different species, and they're not from another planet.

I learn something new every day  :biggrin:

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3039 on: April 24, 2017, 08:26:43 AM »
Anyone familiar with Corey Wayne? I've been reading his book "How to be a 3% man" on Audible, as well as watching his youtube videos. His stuff has really helped me understand women, understanding what they want in a man, and understanding how to treat them. I've been applying his advice to a tee in my latest relationship with a girl and damn, this is the best relationship I've ever been in. I highly recommend checking out Corey Wayne's stuff if you struggle in this area.

These guys are pretty much snake oil salesmen, but what's worse is the mentality revealed by the comments on the videos. Lots of resentment and open wounds on full display.

You don't need a book about how to "be more alpha" to get a girlfriend. Unfortunately I think a lot of these types of books are targeted to a very insecure demographic of men who are almost scared of women and treat them like paintings, or an ivory box.

I don't know Corey Wayne from a bag of potato chips, but there's nothing worse than that stereotypical guy who thinks all women are predatory whores who get their kicks trampling emotionally sensitive men's hearts for sport, all because they fixated on ONE woman - out of the 3.5 BILLION that live on the planet, and they didn't return the affection when he gave her a locket and a mix tape (likely of Opeth or something similarly romantic) back in 10th grade.   

Look, women are not a different species, and they're not from another planet.  Just like not everyone likes every band, or every food, or every pair of pants, so people don't like everyone.  That ONE GIRL - or even two or three - rejected you, doesn't mean anything other than that wasn't the person for you.   Move on.   As someone smarter than me once said, "there's a seat for every ass".   

My old roommate used to say something like "Even if only one out of a hundred girls will hook up with you, all you have to do is talk to two hundred girls at a club and you're going home to a threesome".

Offline orcus116

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3040 on: April 24, 2017, 08:28:50 AM »
Your old roommate should write fortune cookies.