Author Topic: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip  (Read 57429 times)

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Offline sylvan

  • Alter Bridge Disciple
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3010 on: March 15, 2017, 08:56:33 AM »
It sucks to live in the past, for whatever reason. I think the only thing I can say is an opinion, but DO NOT let what someone else did change the way you feel about this person. It's up to you to decide if she's different or not. Two things: Imagine it turned around, and her not giving you a chance because she's afraid to get burned. It sucks to be on that side of things, thinking that there could be something special if only he/she could see that you're not the same person that burned them before. And then there's the "what if" feelings. Are you prepared to reach a point in the future where you'll question what could have been? And the opportunity has passed. Most people don't get second chances when it comes to that stuff.

If it doesn't subside, I'd recommend finding a counselor or therapist where you can just unload all of those feelings and let it out to a third party, who may be able to give you advice.  Counseling may be covered by your health insurance as well.

Fuck that, save your money! Just read through the last 86 pages and that will be all the therapy you need! And that's only a half-joke (if you have real issues, a mental health professional is a good start), because you'll find all sorts of insecurities and questions that persist in OUR heads. And that OUR is pretty damn collective. I think you'll find that a decently large cross-section of inter-personal relationship issues exists right here.  Just read, and I can almost guarantee you'll find some perspective, and maybe some clarity.

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3011 on: March 15, 2017, 10:07:02 PM »
Im not really that active on this forum anymore, but I just need to get something out.

So..
I've been dating this girl for 3-4 months now, and she is fantastic in so many ways. We share many interests, and we get along really well. When we first started dating I fell in love with her pretty quickly, and she fell in love with me as well.
The problem is..three years ago my ex-wife cheated on me. We broke up a couple of months later, and since then I've been single. I've been on a couple of dates since then, but every time it starts to get somewhat serious, I back out. Im really scared that my next relationship will end up the same way. Im not necessarily scared that this girl will cheat on me in the future, but Im scared that things will end up badly in some way or another. I know that these feelings arent rational, but it's starting to happen again. The strong feelings I have for this girl is starting to evolve into panic, and I feel a desperate need to back out of this as well. I've been open to her about it, but now it's starting to get really bad. Everything have been really awesome between us, but I just can't help it.
Have anybody else experienced this? It's driving me insane!

You can't live in the past or be scared of the future. Just enjoy the present. If you're having a good time with this girl, then be happy. Life is too short to not take a leap of faith from time to time.