Still talking back and forth with Snow. I'm still not sure what inspired this messaging out of the blue. She said she isn't in the right frame of mind for a relationship, and obviously neither am I. I enjoy talking to her and we did agree to meet for coffee or a drink soon. Maybe this common ground will give us both some comfort and things will slowly fall into place. We'll see. I'm not pushing anything.
This is great! Sometimes the relationship doesn't need to start out romantically, just a casual relationship where you can find common ground (as you mentioned). Often times, that's what a person needs: a companion to just relate to. If something comes from it, then that's a bonus.
Okay, let's have that conversation now.
I think there is something to be said for the "friend zone", but I think that "something" is that men and women DO think differently. I have this "argument" with my wife regularly. She is very attractive (legit beauty contestant winner) and she's one of those that says "Oh, most of my friends are men; women are too catty.". And while I'm secure and don't let it affect our relationship, we do have the philosophical conversation that I think it is rarer than she would believe.
And what I mean is, they MAY be friends, but while she may have no interest in moving from the friend zone, I guarantee she would be surprised at how many of her "male friends" would evolve that relationship if given the opportunity. And I'm not at all just assuming "they'd f--- her because she's hot". I mean that we evaluate things differently. I have friends that are female, but I'd be lying to you if there wasn't at some point - and with some, more than literally "one point" - that moment of consideration of "is this someone I'd take things to the next level with". And some the answer is "no" - for various reasons, including respecting a relationship she is in - but it was still a consideration.
You're absolutely on point with this and I completely agree with you. There is a different perspective among males & females of the so-called (and sometimes dreaded) "Friend Zone". I definitely can relate to your wife in that I probably have more male than female friends but the reason for that is, I have such different interests than a lot of females so it's sometimes easier for me to relate to males. Now, this doesn't go to say that I am naive to the idea that some of these male friends are interested in evolving our friendship into something more or just a quick 1-nighter. BUT, I make it a point to keep my attitude, "flirting", and all other "signs" (for lack of a better word) in check when I'm around a male friend that I truly am wanting as just a friend. Is it probably super aggregating for him if he's wanting more? Yeah. But I've set my boundaries and it comes down to respect.
In the same breath, I will say that it's tough as a female to be put in the "Friend Zone" but still be led on. I think when you start a relationship (just in general, not romantic) with someone of the opposite sex, it set's the tone and sometimes expectation of what path you're going down. Example: If you start out screwing on the first night then expect to go to the "Friend Zone", someone is not going to be a happy camper. However, if you start out truly as just friends, nothing physical and not going out on dates, then the tone of the relationship is (I think) set for friendship. Nothing more, nothing less. Thoughts?