Author Topic: Can Anyone Identify This Spider?  (Read 725 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Zook

  • Evil Incarnate
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 14160
  • Gender: Male
  • Take My Hand
Can Anyone Identify This Spider?
« on: May 25, 2014, 06:29:16 PM »
This horrible piece of shit looks pretty cool.

Last seen at Circle K doing a beer run:


Offline wolfking

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 46822
  • Gender: Male
Re: Can Anyone Identify This Spider?
« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2014, 06:30:48 PM »
That's one mofo you definitely don't want to mess with by the looks of him.
Everyone else, except Wolfking is wrong.

Offline JayOctavarium

  • I used to be a whorejerk
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 10055
  • Gender: Male
  • But then I took a Hef to the knee...
Re: Can Anyone Identify This Spider?
« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2014, 06:34:39 PM »
What's with the spider threads?
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

-BlobVanDam on "Scarred"

Offline TioJorge

  • Constantly Contorting
  • Posts: 7082
  • Gender: Male
  • Ashes to ashes, fun to funky.
Re: Can Anyone Identify This Spider?
« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2014, 06:38:07 PM »
Hm...looks like a brown widow. Which, as the notorious name implies...you don't want to be bitten by. If it is, and given your location, I'm betting it is.

What's with the spider threads?

Tis the season. There'll be more....so many more.....MUUUUUUUUUAHAHAHAAMUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA I LIVE TO SERVE THE QUEEN!

I recommend putting your penis into the cup.
« Last Edit: May 25, 2014, 06:46:30 PM by TioJorge »

DTP says "WOW, LOOK AT THAT GREAT POST"
RIP DTP.

Offline Zook

  • Evil Incarnate
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 14160
  • Gender: Male
  • Take My Hand
Re: Can Anyone Identify This Spider?
« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2014, 06:48:49 PM »
Well I guess I should have just done further research. I only looked it up on my phone after my girlfriend showed me the pic as she was leaving her work.

Apparently it is a Widow, brown or black, "immature", not sure. Here's another pic I found:

 

That one is actually pretty scary.

Offline TioJorge

  • Constantly Contorting
  • Posts: 7082
  • Gender: Male
  • Ashes to ashes, fun to funky.
Re: Can Anyone Identify This Spider?
« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2014, 06:51:41 PM »
I have a far too intimate knowledge of spiders (well, of spiders in Texas) after being bitten by a brown recluse twice and a brown widow once. Fucking Texas. The inflamed, sweaty, humid asshole of America. I abhor it's existence. But not as much as these insanely paranoid-inducing motherfuckers.

Yeah, they're pretty creepy. I don't have arachnophobia or anything, but after the third bite (second near-fatal)...I'm pretty paranoid when I see anything moving in my room.

Also, I had a snake crawl up my toilet and onto my bathroom floor; it should be noted that when this happened, I was on the second floor of a house. Crazy thrill-seeking bastard. Luckily I wasn't on it, but I didn't shit on that thing for a good few months after that. Although after hearing some of Blob's stories over the years I don't think I really have anything to complain about. Australia is the real deal. Texas is like it's annoying younger brother.

Ed: Definitely brown, even the younger black widow's have the unmistakable hourglass mark and while they can be brown, no young'n is gonna be that large. Then again, it's not like that's much better...browns can kill you just as fast, just with a bit less...agony. Browns and blacks, watch out for 'em!










...






« Last Edit: May 25, 2014, 07:00:19 PM by TioJorge »

DTP says "WOW, LOOK AT THAT GREAT POST"
RIP DTP.

Offline Zook

  • Evil Incarnate
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 14160
  • Gender: Male
  • Take My Hand
Re: Can Anyone Identify This Spider?
« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2014, 07:00:04 PM »
I don't think I actually developed such a nasty fear of spiders until I saw a documentary on brown recluses. And although I am afraid of them (used to get picked on by wolf spiders in Florida, seriously, they loved tormenting me), I can't help but be fascinated by them.

Offline MetalJunkie

  • EZBoard Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6971
  • Gender: Male
Re: Can Anyone Identify This Spider?
« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2014, 11:18:58 PM »
Oh yeah, I know that one. It's a "NOPE spider."
Listen! Do you smell something?