Wrong Numbers (and other adventures)

[Orbert]

Nowadays, with Caller ID and cell phones, you know who's calling before you answer, and if I don't recognize the number, I don't answer it.  It could be a bill collector, telemarketer, or any number of people I simply don't want to talk to.  If they leave a voicemail, it can occassionally be amusing, but usually the voicemail consists of some canned recording, with the beginning cut off because it started while my spiel was still going.  I used to have some fun recording my outgoing message, but these days it's just not worth the effort.

"Hi, this is Bob's voice mail.  Please leave a message."


So today I got a call from a number I didn't recognize, and they left this message:

"Dave?  Dave Bennett?  Um, this is Carl, and this message is for Dave Bennett.  I'm not gonna be able to make it today.  I'll call you later.  Uh, bye.  This is Carl.  Bye."


Carl, you are an idiot.  Were you even listening?  Dave's not here (ha ha).  This is Bob's voice mail.  I hope Dave doesn't get too worried waiting for you to show up.

[Shadow Ninja 2.0]

The important thing to understand is that most people are very stupid.

Or possibly he just wasn't listening.

But I like my first idea better.

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

Sometimes people take forever to get the idea too. I had one guy call my house and it started like:

"OH DID I DIAL THE WRONG NUMBER AGAIN?"

"Yeah I thi-"

"SO HOW'S YOUR DAD BEEN?"

And basically kept going similarly to that for maybe two minutes until he got the idea. I should have just hung up but I'm too polite I guess.

[El Barto]

If they don't identify themselves or ask who I am I'll go along with the conversation for as long as they want. Great times.

My mom's fine. How's yours?
Jesus Christ, man. She died last year!
Oh, sorry.
You were at the funeral!!
No I wasn't.
Who is this? ASSHOLE!

DeVito did it better, though. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVLNs3QsV48

[TAC]

Great OP.

These people are not listening. I realize that I don't have James Earl Jones' pipes, but to still be addressed as Mrs TAC even after saying hello? WTF??

[Orbert]

That scene from Ruthless People is one of my favorites.  The downside of not answering wrong numbers is missing out on the fun I used to have with them.  But these days, most of the numbers I don't recognize, I don't want to talk to.

TAC, your post reminded me of a somewhat reversed situation.  We were having some issue with our phone bill, and when we first moved, my wife had set up all the utilities and stuff, so everything was in her name.  I'm the one who handles the bills, and it's usually not a problem, except apparently with certain idiots.

AT&T: This is AT&T Customer Service, how can I help you?
Me: Hi, my name is Bob -----, and I'm having a problem with our phone bill.  Our phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx.
AT&T: Please wait a moment while I look that up.  (pause)  Is this Ann -----?
Me: Uh, no, this is Bob -----, her husband.
AT&T: I'm sorry, but only the account holder can make changes or inquiries to the account.
Me: But this is her husband, and I'm the one dealing with the bills.
AT&T: I'm sorry, but only the account holder can make changes or inquiries to the account.
Me: Okay, hold on, let me get my wife.

I cover the phone for a second.  Then I start talking again, making absolutely no effort to disguise my voice.

Me: Hello, this is Ann -----.
AT&T: This is Ann -----??
Me: Yes it is.
AT&T: (pauses, has no idea what to do)
Me: Look, we're having this problem with our bill.
AT&T: I'm sorry, did you say that this is Ann -----?
Me: Yes.  My husband said that only the account holder can make changes or inquiries to the account, and I am telling you that I am Ann -----.  My phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx, and I need to speak with you regarding our bill.

She had no choice.  She dealt with me.  Afterwards, I laughed much.

[TAC]

That's funny.

Reminds me of the commercial where the guy is on the phone in the middle of the night with an insurance guy and the wife grabs the phone and says "She sounds hideous".

[rumborak]

I went on a date with a girl a few months back. Before we actually met, she gave me her phone number and told me to call her so we can chat a bit.

First try calling her around 9pm: unsuccessful.
Second try calling her, next day at 8pm: unsuccessful.

So, eventually I send her an online message again, saying "hey, I tried to call you, but haven't been able to get through."
Her reply: "Oh, that was you? I saw the number and didn't pick up, because I don't pick up for numbers I don't know."

[TAC]

Didn't you leave a message? Or did you not have that option?

[rumborak]

That would have been an option, but since this was going to be the first time me talking to her, I didn't want to leave a message. Messages are so impersonal.

[Orbert]

Then she's a flake, telling you to call her, then not answering calls from numbers she doesn't recognize.  How did the date go?

[TAC]

That would have been an option, but since this was going to be the first time me talking to her, I didn't want to leave a message. Messages are so impersonal.

As opposed to..

So, eventually I send her an online message again

 

[rumborak]

Well, the online message is the way you start talking... I see the irony though

I just don't like having an awkward monologue be the first impression of me. "Hey there, XYZ, I tried calling you ... so yeah, I'll try again later."

Then she's a flake, telling you to call her, then not answering calls from numbers she doesn't recognize.  How did the date go?

That's the thing. There's nothing wrong with not picking up unknown number. But if you're expecting a call from an unknown number, you might want to lift that policy for a few days. Especially when the number has a Boston area code.

[MoraWintersoul]

Great OP.

These people are not listening. I realize that I don't have James Earl Jones' pipes, but to still be addressed as Mrs TAC even after saying hello? WTF??

My mom gets mistaken for my brother on the phone a lot and vice versa. She has a regularly feminine voice, he has a regularly masculine voice. Beats me...

[BlobVanDam]

That scene from Ruthless People is one of my favorites.  The downside of not answering wrong numbers is missing out on the fun I used to have with them.  But these days, most of the numbers I don't recognize, I don't want to talk to.

TAC, your post reminded me of a somewhat reversed situation.  We were having some issue with our phone bill, and when we first moved, my wife had set up all the utilities and stuff, so everything was in her name.  I'm the one who handles the bills, and it's usually not a problem, except apparently with certain idiots.

AT&T: This is AT&T Customer Service, how can I help you?
Me: Hi, my name is Bob -----, and I'm having a problem with our phone bill.  Our phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx.
AT&T: Please wait a moment while I look that up.  (pause)  Is this Ann -----?
Me: Uh, no, this is Bob -----, her husband.
AT&T: I'm sorry, but only the account holder can make changes or inquiries to the account.
Me: But this is her husband, and I'm the one dealing with the bills.
AT&T: I'm sorry, but only the account holder can make changes or inquiries to the account.
Me: Okay, hold on, let me get my wife.

I cover the phone for a second.  Then I start talking again, making absolutely no effort to disguise my voice.

Me: Hello, this is Ann -----.
AT&T: This is Ann -----??
Me: Yes it is.
AT&T: (pauses, has no idea what to do)
Me: Look, we're having this problem with our bill.
AT&T: I'm sorry, did you say that this is Ann -----?
Me: Yes.  My husband said that only the account holder can make changes or inquiries to the account, and I am telling you that I am Ann -----.  My phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx, and I need to speak with you regarding our bill.

She had no choice.  She dealt with me.  Afterwards, I laughed much.

That is hilarious.

That's the thing. There's nothing wrong with not picking up unknown number. But if you're expecting a call from an unknown number, you might want to lift that policy for a few days. Especially when the number has a Boston area code.

Sounds like a bit of a flake if she didn't figure out the logic to that.

[bout to crash]

I like this thread 

[?]

AT&T: This is AT&T Customer Service, how can I help you?
Me: Hi, my name is Bob -----, and I'm having a problem with our phone bill.  Our phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx.
AT&T: Please wait a moment while I look that up.  (pause)  Is this Ann -----?
Me: Uh, no, this is Bob -----, her husband.
AT&T: I'm sorry, but only the account holder can make changes or inquiries to the account.
Me: But this is her husband, and I'm the one dealing with the bills.
AT&T: I'm sorry, but only the account holder can make changes or inquiries to the account.
Me: Okay, hold on, let me get my wife.

I cover the phone for a second.  Then I start talking again, making absolutely no effort to disguise my voice.

Me: Hello, this is Ann -----.
AT&T: This is Ann -----??
Me: Yes it is.
AT&T: (pauses, has no idea what to do)
Me: Look, we're having this problem with our bill.
AT&T: I'm sorry, did you say that this is Ann -----?
Me: Yes.  My husband said that only the account holder can make changes or inquiries to the account, and I am telling you that I am Ann -----.  My phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx, and I need to speak with you regarding our bill.

She had no choice.  She dealt with me.  Afterwards, I laughed much.

My phone subscription is in the name of my dad and I sometimes get calls from the magazines he's subscribed to, asking whether his subscription should be continued. I answer calls from unknown numbers just with my last name, so they often start babbling for a minute or so until I finally get to point out that I'm not the person they're looking for.

[rumborak]

For years I would get a monthly call from the Congo. And it wasn't a spam call, those guys spoke zero English. I presume some Congolese in Boston has a similar number, and maybe the bush phone had a busted digit or something.

[puppyonacid]

One of many joys of having young children is the fun you can have with a phone when it comes to sales calls.

It works best with toddlers who are at that point where they are really curious about phones. So anytime I got a sales call I'd answer by saying "yea this isn't who you're looking for but just hold on one moment and I'll get him for you". I'd then hand the phone to one of the kids (usually that 2-3 age works best) and they'd just babble away to some guy trying to sell them insurance or something. The beauty is that as far as I know, they're told never to hang up. The longer they keep you talking the more chance of a sale right?

[MrBoom_shack-a-lack]

 

[Kotowboy]

It's not as satisfying hanging up a mobile as it is slamming down a landline phone.

Especially when it's over zealous sales people.

Or you do the classic play along - say you're going to get your bank details or something -  then just leave the phone off the receiver whilst you go do

something else.

When I was in Kotow - we all lived and jammed in the one house. We thought it would be funny if -

- one of those sales people rang up who aren't allowed to hang up -

- say you're very interested in their double glazing & say you're going to get your bank details . . 

And then go and have band practice in the next room for a few hours

[El Barto]

I used to date a girl who's old man kept an air horn next to the phone for dealing with rude telemarketers. He was as polite to them as they were to him, but if they ever interrupted him he'd blast them in the ear with the air horn. They really hated that shit. 

[rumborak]

Probably the best way of dealing with salesmen is this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTVuSVG9DKA#t=237

[puppyonacid]

Probably the best way of dealing with salesmen is this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTVuSVG9DKA#t=237

HA! The punch is my favourite!

Incidentally - Great Movie!