Author Topic: [Movie] Troll 2  (Read 2705 times)

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Offline Space Invader

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[Movie] Troll 2
« on: July 23, 2009, 08:45:35 PM »
Yeah, I know there are a lot of summer blockbusters to see and review but I feel it more important to inform the public as to some other older movies that are worth seeing or avoiding. Also it's much cheaper to rent than see a movie in theaters.

So, here we go with Troll 2, a movie that my friend claimed would "change my life". So did it?

Short answer, yes. Long answer, yes in the way that getting trampled by an elephant changes your life. That is, in the worst possible way.

I wont sugar coat it: Troll 2 is possibly the worst movie off all time. But, believe it or not, it's acctually worth watching.
Here's why:

Troll 2 is the story of a family who goes on vacation to the town of Nilbog for vacation. However, the youngest child has recuring visions of his dead grandfather who warns him against going to the town. Why? Because it's infested with goblins who feed travelers green gloop in order to turn them into plants and eat them.

Idea wise, it aint bad. Everything else however, is. The acting is some of the worst EVER, which isnt helped by a script that seems like it was writen by a room full of chimps on acid. Awkward and cliched lines spout at every turn, and the actor's delivery is just as bad. (Eg. A guy is turned into a tree and the main baddies is going to chop him down. "This might tickle" says the villain. And guess what? When the chopping begins, THE TREE GIGGLES!) Sound, meh. Music, a mix of 80's techno pop and twitchy, edge of your seat style orchestration. However, since Troll 2 tries to be a horror film, the pop clashes horribly and just ends up as laughable.

Makeup is awfull, with some of the worst goblins in film. For a movie made in 1992, it aint acceptable to have your villains looking like a bunch of midgets tied into burlap sacks with halloween costume prostetics glued to their faces.
Special effects are just as bad if not worst. There is stock footage of lightning, that is essentially carboard on a black background. Also, at one point a golbin's eye explodes, and it looked like a baked potato in a microwave.

I could go on, but I'll sum it up in the one major flaw: Troll 2 takes itself too seriously. I don't understand how someone on the cast or crew didn't realise how shitty a film they were making. Troll 2 tries to do everything a horror film should do, but can't. And yet, it keeps trying, throwing cliches and bad SE at our faces right up until the end credits. If Troll 2 had made a mockery of itself (ala Kung-Pow) it might have worked, but as it stands I almost didn't make it to the end alive. The scene involving popcorn (look it up on youtube) nearly destroyed my inner film lover.

Alright, alright. Having now beat Troll 2 into the ground, I'll say this. If you can find it, WATCH IT ANYWAYS. Because you will never see anything so bad, and yet you will never have laughed so hard in your life. It's some of the best comedy EVER, just because it's so bad.

So, as a film Troll 2 is a .5/5
As a way to spend your evening in stitches, Troll 2 is a 5/5

Take your pick.
Everything can, should and will be progressive.

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Offline setrataeso

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2009, 09:12:38 PM »
Very nice.
I wish I was there to watch it with you guys. But it seems as though you had a good time watching it anyways...
NEW REVIEW: Lady Gaga - Born This Way
http://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=25343.0

Setra, I think that is the best statement I have read on this forum.  Very well said.

Offline ZachyDou

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2009, 09:39:33 PM »
i quite enjoyed it

Offline Arcaeus

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2009, 08:58:17 AM »
The scene involving popcorn (look it up on youtube) nearly destroyed my inner film lover.

...OH MY GOD :rollin

Offline Space Invader

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2009, 08:14:52 PM »
The scene involving popcorn (look it up on youtube) nearly destroyed my inner film lover.

...OH MY GOD :rollin

I know right?
Everything can, should and will be progressive.

"The only thing that is certain is that nothing is certain" - Montaigne.

I'm going to need a SWAT team ready to mobilize, street over maps covering all of Florida, a pot of coffee, twelve Jammie Dodgers and a Fez - Eleventh Doctor

Offline Zook

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2009, 06:14:08 PM »
THEY'RE EATING HER!

AND THEN THEY'RE GOING TO EAT ME!

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooood!

Offline Scurvy!Dreams

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2009, 06:26:06 PM »
Have you seen the documentary about the making of Troll 2, Best Worst Movie?

Offline Dimitrius

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2009, 07:37:48 PM »
I guess nobody has noticed the redundancy in the opening paragraph of the film review.
Joe and I in the same squad is basically the virtual equivalent of us plowing a rape van through an elementary school playground at recess.

Offline Ouda

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #8 on: July 29, 2009, 02:10:12 PM »
Popcorn scene = GREATEST SCENE EVER! Man, didn't make sense, had no contribution to the plot, horribly done. But it did teach us that sometimes Corn can be a sweet aphrodisiac.

Offline setrataeso

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #9 on: July 29, 2009, 02:29:30 PM »
I guess nobody has noticed the redundancy in the opening paragraph of the film review.

I'm sure he appreciates that.
NEW REVIEW: Lady Gaga - Born This Way
http://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=25343.0

Setra, I think that is the best statement I have read on this forum.  Very well said.

Offline Dimitrius

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #10 on: July 29, 2009, 03:39:45 PM »
I guess nobody has noticed the redundancy in the opening paragraph of the film review.

I'm sure he appreciates that.
He should. It's a written review, so grammar needs to be use.
Joe and I in the same squad is basically the virtual equivalent of us plowing a rape van through an elementary school playground at recess.

Offline setrataeso

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #11 on: July 29, 2009, 08:26:12 PM »
I guess nobody has noticed the redundancy in the opening paragraph of the film review.

I'm sure he appreciates that.
He should. It's a written review, so grammar needs to be use.

Take a look at what you just wrote.
NEW REVIEW: Lady Gaga - Born This Way
http://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=25343.0

Setra, I think that is the best statement I have read on this forum.  Very well said.

Offline Dimitrius

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #12 on: July 29, 2009, 08:53:22 PM »
But I didn't write a review now, did I? :P
Joe and I in the same squad is basically the virtual equivalent of us plowing a rape van through an elementary school playground at recess.

Offline setrataeso

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #13 on: July 29, 2009, 09:00:44 PM »
So you can drop any sense of grammatical correctness because you aren't posting reviews, but you can still criticize a relatively new member who is just trying to make himself known in the vociferous wasteland that is the DTforums.
Feel proud, my cyber-compatriot, for you have become the very thing I have set out to destroy. Now leave this land, for I shall hunt you down wherever you may roam.
May God have mercy on your soul.
NEW REVIEW: Lady Gaga - Born This Way
http://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=25343.0

Setra, I think that is the best statement I have read on this forum.  Very well said.

Offline Dimitrius

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #14 on: July 29, 2009, 09:01:38 PM »
Will you hunt me down without mercy?





























 :metal :metal :metal :metal
Joe and I in the same squad is basically the virtual equivalent of us plowing a rape van through an elementary school playground at recess.

Offline setrataeso

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #15 on: July 29, 2009, 09:03:07 PM »
Rest assured, I shall hunt you down ALL NIGHTMARE LONG!
All joking aside, you're being as big of a dick as they come without even receiving genetic enhancement.
NEW REVIEW: Lady Gaga - Born This Way
http://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=25343.0

Setra, I think that is the best statement I have read on this forum.  Very well said.

Offline Ouda

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #16 on: July 30, 2009, 10:20:07 AM »
Feel us breath upon your FACE,
Feel us shift, every move we trace!

Offline ZachyDou

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #17 on: July 30, 2009, 10:57:54 AM »
Feel us breath upon your FACE,
Feel us shift, every move we trace!

good call Ouda

Offline Ouda

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #18 on: July 30, 2009, 10:59:17 AM »
So you took the batman I see

Offline ZachyDou

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #19 on: July 30, 2009, 11:21:39 AM »
u know it

still doesnt beat urs though

Offline InstrumentalFiasco

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #20 on: August 02, 2009, 11:55:24 PM »
Classic! seen it about 4 times and with each viewing it gets more awesome and awkward.
Sig removed for being too tall.

Offline Ravenheart

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Re: [Movie] Troll 2
« Reply #21 on: December 12, 2009, 06:33:31 PM »
Hands down, the best movie I've ever seen  :tup