First off, before I'd even like to say anything, I'd just like to get this important piece of information out of the way first...
*ahem*
Geoff Tate is kind of a cunt
Now that everyone's caught up to speed, let's hear this shit.
Track 1: Choices
"Hmmm... what's the best way I can start this 3-hour concept album trilogy about the economic status of our current society?"
"Hmmm, how about 30 seconds of inaudible sound effects, followed by 3 minutes one repeated line that resolves in a total anticlimax thanks to the over-compressed production."
"Perfect, let's do it!"
^ This was a conversation that I doubt 2 humans have ever had in the history of our known universe. Luckily, I don't think anyone involved with this album legally counts as a human, so here we are.
Track 2: Burn
Woah, watch out Geoff, don't overdo it with the vocal performance, if you do that too much you might actually make your audience give a shit.
Anyway, this is track had potential I guess, but nothing's really done with any sense of passion or enthusiasm so it just sounds dead inside, & if I wanted to hear a song that reflects my constant mental state, I'd probably listen to nirvana or something, not a song that's supposed to be about the economic status of the US.
Track 3: Re-Inventing The Future
Oh hey, it's the single. Again, this honestly had a bit of potential. The chorus is pretty neat & I like the theme of the lyrics, but Geoff can't hold a note in the chorus longer than a nanosecond, so that's kind of a problem. On the plus side though, I hear rap's pretty big now, & a speed like that would be pretty impressive nowadays.
inb4 Geoff Tate's rap career please god don't actually let this happen
Track 4: Ready To Fly
Actually, listening to this album's making me a bit tired. I'm not sure I can do this right now. Maybe if I could justt rset my headfor al ittle whil
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Track 5: Discussion In A Smoke Filled Room
Oh shit I just remembered this album was meant to have a story.
Actually that was a lie, no I didn't
Track 6: Life or Death
Why hello there Mr. Not-Geoff-Tate. Uh, quick question, why are you actually making him look better in comparison? Honestly that's a much bigger accomplishment than most other civilisations can ever dream of. I mean, think about it, it's a natural progression...
The climbing of Mt Everest
The invention of electricity
The splitting of the atom
The discovery of a singer worse than Geoff Tate
??
idk the cure for cancer i guess?
Truly with this discovery we can advance further as a society & better the lives of millions as a result.
Track 7: The Stranger
Oh wait, nevermind, I think this song just gave cancer to everyone who listened to it. Damn, that's gotta be the fastest drop in everyone's faith in humanity since I was given a DTF account.
What's that?
Oh yeah, I had a song to talk about.
"i'm a walkin' genocide"
"make you cry, make you want your mother"
"im the best, fuck the rest"
"let's see if he takes it like a man"
Jesus, when did Geoff become an edgy teenager? At this point I'm waiting for the "psssh...nothin personnel kid"
Oh wait, that's actually in the song
fuck
Yeah, this is abysmal. Probably the worst song that's ever been associated with Queenryche, & that's living in a world where Saved, Hit The Black, One Life, Desert Dance, Home Again, The Voice, Slave, In The Hands Of God & all of DTC exists.
Yeah, it's that bad.
Track 8: Hearing Voices
Like the previous song, only longer, more boring, lazier, & basically worse in every way. I'd honestly be impressed at how fast this album turned to an "all-time worst candidate" if it weren't so sad. At this point I got an ad for a syrian refugee charity & it made me less depressed than being reminded that this album exists. & at that point I just imagine all the money this album made & how many better things it could be used for... like buying gold-plated toilet paper, or using the bills as frisbees for your dog, or throwing pennies at passersby & running away.
I mean hey, this album's supposed to be about economics, right? I think this is the most valid point this album's made thus far.
Track 9: On Queue
"Tell me, remind me" God damnit, stop making me think of better songs.
Anyway, there's not really a lot to talk about with this one. I mean sure, it's long, drawn-out, boring, lazy, dull, uninteresting, fuck I need a thesaurus to find more synonyms for bland.
Calling this elevator music is an insult to elevators. I mean, they work hard to carry hundreds of kilos up & down every day for as long as they operate. If I were an elevator, I'd probably go on strike if I heard that my function was being compared to this song. Hey, maybe that's why they get stuck for ten hours trapping people until they either suffocate or go insane until they can finally get them out.
I mean, if you consider what they're being compared to, I'd have that reaction too.
Track 10: An Ambush Of Sadness
There are a lot of greatthings you can do in 90 seconds:
-Make your bed
-Make a coffee
-Make 90-second noodles
-Spin around in a chair
-Play 3/4 of a game of tetris
-Eat half a candy bar
-Kill yourself
The list goes on
Y'know what's not on that list?
Listening to this song
Track 11: Kicking In The Door
That elevator probably had hopes & dreams just like the rest of us, & yet they're doomed to a life of endless tedium & mundanity to solve only a slight bit of time in our everyday lives. How could we opress them of their hopes & dreams just because of their unfortunate fate?
& by "endless tedium & mundanity" I mean having song associated with you
Track 12: The Fall
& now it's time for the epic closer that'll wrap up this whole first disc on a high note & truly make us feel like we've experienced something grand with the past 47 minutes of our lives.
Okay, I have a lot of opinions on this song in particular, so allow me to express them in the most civil way I can possibly put this so that everyone involved can actually take something from this writeup & take the criticisms to hear to ensure that another mistake like this album can never happen to such a well-established singer ever again.
*ahem*
Geoff Tate is kind of a cunt
So that was the review. God knows I'm not putting myself through 2 more hours of this shit, so that'll be it for now. Hopefully you'll stay tuned to my next review where I'll either successfully finish listening to the second disc or successfully become dead as a result. I'll be fine as long as it isn't the first one.