Author Topic: DTF: The Movie  (Read 12892 times)

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Online BlobVanDam

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DTF: The Movie
« on: January 13, 2013, 07:02:27 AM »
Forget about movies about midgets and wizards, the hit movie of 2013 is going to be DTF: The Movie, a US remake of the Japanese movie "ドリーム·シアター·フォーラムは、後であなたを雌雄鑑別とあなたの女性パンティベーコン内部触手モンスターレイプ!", based on the best-selling Japanese erotic thriller novel of the same name.


The cast-


Jim Caviezel stars as bosk1, a firm but fair lawyer by day, but by night he's not afraid to dish out some hard justice to keep the city safe from the trolls who dwell beneath the city.


Michael Chiklis plays hefdaddy42, bosk's most trusted friend, known to his friends as simply "hef", or to his enemies as "God", because he decides who lives and who dies. Infamous for his short and concise one liners, and his secret weapon - his light-up glasses.


Jonah Hill as Nick. He's the youngest member of the team, but he's ready to prove himself, even if it means some (or many) failures along the way.


George Clooney plays lonestar. Think Steve Seagal in Under Siege, except better in the kitchen, and better with a knife.


And of course Al Leong as Orbert (listed in the credits only as "asian man #1). He may or may not have any dialog, but he'll most definitely do something totally badass, such as arrange Christmas music for an odd ensemble, or start an intelligent conversation using only his MIND.



But alas I can't cast the entire movie by myself. Cast someone to play yourself, or to play someone else. And keep it fun, or I'll set Al Leong onto you while you sleep. You'll never hear him coming, you poor bastard.
Only King could mis-spell a LETTER.
Yep. I think the only party in the MP/DT situation that hasn't moved on is DTF.

Offline Orbert

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2013, 07:06:36 AM »
I am lauging out loud.  Out loud, I tell you!

:lol

Offline Super Dude

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2013, 07:09:59 AM »
I reviewed it on my blog. Check it out! :neverusethis:
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Offline Zook

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2013, 07:11:26 AM »
Paul Rudd as Zook: The sarcastic, miserable asshole.

Offline Zydar

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2013, 07:11:51 AM »
haha :lol

Offline PuffyPat

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2013, 07:56:49 AM »
I love all of this.
prog sucks
Even if you're not serious, I'm going to pretend you are and use this as proof that not all heroes wear capes.

Offline lonestar

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2013, 08:10:49 AM »
I'm cool with it. :hat
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So should lonestar and I have babies or something now, is that how this works?
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Offline Lolzeez

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2013, 08:29:26 AM »
Almost fell out of my chair.  :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin
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it's just complicated music ffs, no dong action involved unless you're kinky like that

Offline Sketchy

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2013, 08:34:39 AM »
I would ask that I would be animated by Terry Gilliam and voiced by Steven Wilson. Yeah, he's not an actor, but I have been mistaken for him both in voice and appearence (by Steve Hackett, in fact).

The animated character would be the wierd bastard who spouts inconsequential nonsense and generally confuses everyone.
This is as exciting as superluminal neutrinos. The sexy thing is that this actually exists :D

Offline Lolzeez

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2013, 08:36:43 AM »
I would ask that I would be animated by Terry Gilliam and voiced by Steven Wilson. Yeah, he's not an actor, but I have been mistaken for him both in voice and appearence (by Steve Hackett, in fact).
Woah. So lemme get this straight,you were mistaken for Steven Wilson by Steve Hackett? My brain just exploded.
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it's just complicated music ffs, no dong action involved unless you're kinky like that

Offline snapple

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2013, 08:41:05 AM »
 :rollin
MLB 2014 Thread
DTF Cookbook

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Offline Sketchy

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2013, 08:41:18 AM »
Yeah, he didn't have his glasses on, and I was standing in about the second or third row in this tiny venue in Bath.
This is as exciting as superluminal neutrinos. The sexy thing is that this actually exists :D

Offline MoraWintersoul

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #12 on: January 13, 2013, 09:25:28 AM »
Ivan is clearly more handsome than Steven Wilson.

Quote
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You consistently make so much sense, and express yourself so eloquently, that I've decided you're basically a female version of robwebster.

Offline wasteland

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #13 on: January 13, 2013, 09:27:32 AM »
Featuring: Zydar Plays Zydar
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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #14 on: January 13, 2013, 10:24:55 AM »
Featuring: Zydar Plays Zydar

That's cheating!

I was actually thinking of giving Robert Pattinson a bag of coke, and seeing what happens.

Only King could mis-spell a LETTER.
Yep. I think the only party in the MP/DT situation that hasn't moved on is DTF.

Offline chknptpie

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #15 on: January 13, 2013, 10:27:51 AM »
Holy crap this is fantastic

Offline ?

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #16 on: January 13, 2013, 10:29:25 AM »
Brilliant! :lol
Featuring: Zydar Plays Zydar

That's cheating!

I was actually thinking of giving Robert Pattinson a bag of coke, and seeing what happens.


:clap:

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #17 on: January 13, 2013, 10:38:50 AM »

Christian Bale as DarkLord_Lalinc, a man suspected of being part of a large kidnapping operation, allegedly run by crime boss Zydar.


A young CGI Kurt Russell will play the part of Ravenheart, a wild haired and mysterious character.
Only King could mis-spell a LETTER.
Yep. I think the only party in the MP/DT situation that hasn't moved on is DTF.

Offline wasteland

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #18 on: January 13, 2013, 10:40:44 AM »

Christian Bale as DarkLord_Lalinc, a man suspected of being part of a large kidnapping operation, allegedly run by crime boss Zydar.

Whoa, he's hiding a Sith Lightsaber behind his back  :omg:


But seriously, this is getting increasingly better. Can we cast Kevin Moore to play KevShmev?
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Offline SomeoneLikeHim

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #19 on: January 13, 2013, 10:46:04 AM »
:clap:  :hefdaddy  :lol :rollin :lol  :hefdaddy :clap:
"We can walk our road together, if our goals are all the same
We can run alone and free, if we pursue a different aim"

Offline Zydar

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #20 on: January 13, 2013, 10:51:57 AM »
Featuring: Zydar Plays Zydar

That's cheating!

I was actually thinking of giving Robert Pattinson a bag of coke, and seeing what happens.



:lol

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #21 on: January 13, 2013, 10:52:54 AM »
I got to Orbert's casting, and especially the name of the part, and now I can't stop laughing.  :rollin
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Offline Orbert

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #22 on: January 13, 2013, 11:00:24 AM »
If you look up Al Leong on IMDb, half the roles he's played are "Chinese Thug" or "Asian Guy #2" and stuff like that.  He's the guy you call when you need some nameless Asian badass.  Or Genghis Khan in a Bill and Ted movie, but that's kinda the exception.

Offline MrBoom_shack-a-lack

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #23 on: January 13, 2013, 11:01:31 AM »
...based on the best-selling Japanese erotic thriller novel of the same name.
I suspect alot of sexy-time will occur..... :hat
« Last Edit: January 13, 2013, 11:07:46 AM by MrBoom_shack-a-lack »
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Offline TioJorge

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #24 on: January 13, 2013, 11:03:54 AM »
 :D

DTP says "WOW, LOOK AT THAT GREAT POST"

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #25 on: January 13, 2013, 11:29:48 AM »
Erotic
...based on the best-selling Japanese erotic thriller novel of the same name.
I suspect alot of sexy-time will occur..... :hat

Oh yes, it will. The original Japanese title says it all, really.
Speaking of which, to avoid this cinematic masterpiece turning into a sausage-fest, I'll cast Mary Elizabeth Winstead as nightmare_cinema. She's not looking for love, but she'll find it in all the wrong places...... :zydarscouch:



If you look up Al Leong on IMDb, half the roles he's played are "Chinese Thug" or "Asian Guy #2" and stuff like that.  He's the guy you call when you need some nameless Asian badass.  Or Genghis Khan in a Bill and Ted movie, but that's kinda the exception.

Well I upgraded him right to asian man #1! Only the geeks who will read the prequel comic will know that the character's name is actually Orbert.
Only King could mis-spell a LETTER.
Yep. I think the only party in the MP/DT situation that hasn't moved on is DTF.

Offline MrBoom_shack-a-lack

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #26 on: January 13, 2013, 11:37:04 AM »
Yes no sausage-fest plz but were talking "Japanese sexy-time" that could get a bit kinky! Nevermind just realized it's the american version.  :P
There were times when Rik and I were writing together when we almost died laughing. They were some of the most carefree stupid days I ever had, and I feel privileged to have shared them with him. And now he's died for real. Without me. Selfish bastard.

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Offline SomeoneLikeHim

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #27 on: January 13, 2013, 11:42:03 AM »
This is one for the archives right here :clap:
"We can walk our road together, if our goals are all the same
We can run alone and free, if we pursue a different aim"

Offline Sketchy

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #28 on: January 13, 2013, 11:43:53 AM »
Ivan is clearly more handsome than Steven Wilson.
*flutters eyelashes and flicks the long, green wig*
This is as exciting as superluminal neutrinos. The sexy thing is that this actually exists :D

Offline MoraWintersoul

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #29 on: January 13, 2013, 11:49:35 AM »
Ivan is clearly more handsome than Steven Wilson.
*flutters eyelashes and flicks the long, green wig*
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Quote
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You consistently make so much sense, and express yourself so eloquently, that I've decided you're basically a female version of robwebster.

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #30 on: January 13, 2013, 11:56:40 AM »
Amazing Blob!!!  :hefdaddy

An archive no brainer!
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Offline Scorpion

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #31 on: January 13, 2013, 12:08:17 PM »
Best thread of 2013 so far.

:clap:

Also, Bruce Willis as jingle.boy, a jaded Canadian who finds his only solace in a glass of bourbon (or whatever Chad drinks, I'm not really sure) and submersion into his large music collection, which is his lifeline to a better time long past.

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Hey, the length is fine :azn: Thanks!

Offline Zook

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #32 on: January 13, 2013, 12:09:54 PM »
AND HE'S ALWAYS IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME

Offline Scorpion

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #33 on: January 13, 2013, 12:10:44 PM »
That goes without saying.
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Offline lateralus88

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Re: DTF: The Movie
« Reply #34 on: January 13, 2013, 12:20:14 PM »
3/10

Generic Hollywood trash.
I felt its length in quite a few places.

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