Things You Would Never Know Without TV

[yeshaberto]

A movie I was just watching reminded me of the one about timers on bombs...
Some of these are classic

During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit
   level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the    
   control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place.  No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel
   to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition
   - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but
   will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through
   it before long.
When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a
   bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the
   exact fare.
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every
   morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat
   it.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give
   him 48 hours to finish the job.
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending
   phone conversations.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to
   turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
   readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are
   visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving
   martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by
   one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption
   or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure
   they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each
   other.
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -
   unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped
   inside.
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you
   personally at that precise moment.

[yeshaberto]

just thought of another one:

anytime you are in a car chase, it is inevitable to break through a construction zone

[BlobVanDam]

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

And don't forget that the wires are always conveniently colour coded for easy defusing. Lucky that they never switch the wire colours, or use their own design without colour coding.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

And of course any person can be knocked out unconscious with only one hit to the head, and will always remain unconscious until you leave, no matter how long that is.

[hefdaddy42]

[Kwyjibo]

As a law enforcer you have to break several laws just to protect the law, otherwise you won't accomplish shit.

Having sex in a horror movie is a sure way to die horribly.

If you run away from a bad guy, monster, alien etc. you HAVE to stumble and fall and you HAVE to crawl afterwards, especially in dark woods. Standing up and running again is clearly forbidden.

[BlobVanDam]

Coughing is always a sign of terminal illness.

Sneaking around causes an uncontrollable urge to sneeze.

[Scorpion]

When you're alone in a house and you hear a noise, you have to shout "Hello?" or "Who's there?", alerting any potential murderer/rapist/sicko/whatever of your position.

[BlobVanDam]

Torches use an immense amount of power, and thus batteries will only last a matter of minutes.

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

No one ever needs a tissue (paper towel, etc) after sex.
In every school, there is at least one nerd or wimp that is shoved into lockers that are big enough to hold them.
Bags of groceries are never heavy.
High-powered female executives always wear miniskirts and five-inch heels to work
A cigarette case/lighter in the shirt pocket will always block the bullet.

[Dream Team]

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

And don't forget that the wires are always conveniently colour coded for easy defusing. Lucky that they never switch the wire colours, or use their own design without colour coding.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

And of course any person can be knocked out unconscious with only one hit to the head, and will always remain unconscious until you leave, no matter how long that is.

Yes Yes Yes. This one has always annoyed me to no end. The person always knows exactly how hard to hit the cranium, and exactly where, to produce the "10 minute knock-out" with no subsequent effects to the victim  .

[Chino]

I have learned that America is mainly made up of just two kinds of people... Those who hoard the fuck out of everything, and those who make their living by buying stuff from hoarders and selling it to other hoarders.

[El Barto]

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

And don't forget that the wires are always conveniently colour coded for easy defusing. Lucky that they never switch the wire colours, or use their own design without colour coding.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

And of course any person can be knocked out unconscious with only one hit to the head, and will always remain unconscious until you leave, no matter how long that is.

Yes Yes Yes. This one has always annoyed me to no end. The person always knows exactly how hard to hit the cranium, and exactly where, to produce the "10 minute knock-out" with no subsequent effects to the victim  .

Dr. McCoy would always use a karate chop to the brachial plexus.  Much more believable, for which I always thought better of the ST people. 

[ehra]

This thread reminded me of Peter's Evil Overlord List, which is sort of related to the topic.

https://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

[Cedar redaC]

The bad guy always gives a monologue when he has the good guys tied up. Even if he has the chance to kill them and he knows that the police are on the way, there will always be a speech of some kind. He will always end just before the police get there, unless he's about to divulge some secret information. In this case, he will be shot or otherwise incapacitated by another bad guy first. This bad guy then escapes, even though the police have the place surrounded.

[BlobVanDam]

Oh that reminds me-

Your enemy will always try to kill you while pursuing you, until they finally have the clear shot, at which point they will decide they only want to capture you.

[yeshaberto]

The bad guy always gives a monologue when he has the good guys tied up. Even if he has the chance to kill them and he knows that the police are on the way, there will always be a speech of some kind. He will always end just before the police get there, unless he's about to divulge some secret information. In this case, he will be shot or otherwise incapacitated by another bad guy first. This bad guy then escapes, even though the police have the place surrounded.

so true!

[CrimsonSunrise]

And don't forget that the wires are always conveniently colour coded for easy defusing. Lucky that they never switch the wire colours, or use their own design without colour coding.

So true... EXCEPT, and I realize it's a motion picture and not TV, The Abyss.   When He's defusing the nuke underwater with a green glowstick....he can't tell the colors of the wires 

[hefdaddy42]

When the protagonist falls in love, it is always with someone who doesn't know they exist.

[kirksnosehair]

Punching people in the mouth repeatedly does almost no physical damage of any kind to the hands of the person doing the punching and almost never results in the person who is getting punched ending up losing any teeth. 

[Adami]

Apparently it's very easy to go through a wall without suffering any back damage in the least.

[DebraKadabra]

And don't forget that the wires are always conveniently colour coded for easy defusing. Lucky that they never switch the wire colours, or use their own design without colour coding.

So true... EXCEPT, and I realize it's a motion picture and not TV, The Abyss.   When He's defusing the nuke underwater with a green glowstick....he can't tell the colors of the wires 

I thought of that scene, but kept it to myself.

[Super Dude]

America is the only country in the world. At least the only one that matters.

[rogerdil]

When a fugitive (etc.) places a phone call, he has one minute to talk before his location is traced.

When there's an asshole character in a horror movie, he will take one for the team later on.

[Ħ]

Foreign women will always betray you.


If you get a call from Jason Bourne, don't immediately say your full name when you pick up.

[Adami]

Foreign women will always betray you.

Well that one's just true.

[Ħ]

It is advisable to wait for a near-death situation to kiss a girl. If you don't, she will reject you.


Beware bald men. They will try to beat you up. Don't bother reasoning with them - they can't talk.

[Scorpion]

It is advisable to wait for a near-death situation to kiss a girl. If you don't, she will reject you.

That's your chance, Hayden! Should I get my gun?

I'm sorry, that was just mean, but I couldn't resist.

[Super Dude]

The only real point of working anywhere is to bone your co-workers.

[Ħ]

It is advisable to wait for a near-death situation to kiss a girl. If you don't, she will reject you.

That's your chance, Hayden! Should I get my gun?

I'm sorry, that was just mean, but I couldn't resist.

Sound good man.

[Ħ]

If you're a diagnostician and you don't know what you're dealing with, the best thing to do is prescribe steroids and see if the patient slips into a coma.

[Adami]

Okay now the list seems to be getting a bit less right.

[MetalJunkie]

You have to kill vampires by cutting their heads off.
Kill ghosts by finding their body and salting then burning the remains. For some reason, salting is not alwas required.
Demons can't enter doors/windows lined with salt.
Rock salt loaded into shotgun shells is effective against ghosts.
A Latin speech will exorcise a demon and send it back to hell.
Reapers are hot. Nurses are hot. Hell, everyone is hot.
Classic Impalas magically heal themselves on a weekly basis.

...so I've been on a Supernatural kick. Sue me.

[yeshaberto]

all cases are solved in exactly 45 minutes

the criminal will always give a speech explaining the entire plot as he waits to kill his pursuer, but will be captured by police right as he finishes the explanation

[Adami]

Every romantic relationship follows these steps once the relationship starts.

1. Everything is amazing.
2. Guy messes up.
3. Guy can easily get out of the mess up if he just explains the truth but never does under any circumstance.
4. Girl leaves, lots of montages about missing each other.
6. 6 or so weeks later the guy gets the girl back by making a very intimate speech in front of a crap load of strangers in a situation that he ruins by making said speech.
7. Credits roll.

[Pols Voice]

America is the only country in the world. At least the only one that matters.

And New York is the only city in America.