Author Topic: To Bill Brasky!  (Read 1898 times)

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Offline zepp-head

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To Bill Brasky!
« on: September 21, 2012, 09:10:41 PM »
Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky and I went out for a drink?

He drove us to a vacant lot where we waited for a year and a half until sure enough, someone constructed a bar around us!  P.J. McGinty's.

We ordered a single shot and then burned the place to the ground.  Brasky shouted over the roar of the flames "ALWAYS LEAVE THINGS THE WAY YOU FOUND THEM!"


Best damn salesman in the office.

Offline Adami

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2012, 09:34:08 PM »
BILL BRASKY!

Stands 7"8 340 pounds.
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Offline zepp-head

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2012, 09:46:51 PM »
His family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong.

Offline Adami

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2012, 10:03:10 PM »
Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky forced me to wear a woman's bikini? Well anyway, Brasky tears off my clothes and forces me to wear this skimpy bikini. For the next three months I had to conduct my business wearing only a woman's bathing suit. I would cry from shame and question my manhood daily, but Ill be damned if at the end of the quarter my sales hadn't tripled.
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Offline zepp-head

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2012, 10:22:28 PM »
One time Brasky came over for breakfast and he had a tall glass of liquid LSD with his eggs.  He passed out, and eight months later he woke up, rubbed his eyes and said "all and all I prefer gin".

Offline snapple

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2012, 06:35:37 AM »
Are you guys talking about Bill Brasky?


I KNOW Bill Brasky!

Offline theseoafs

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2012, 09:50:31 PM »
HE ONCE BREASTFED AN INJURED FLAMINGO BACK TO HEALTH

Offline Ultimetalhead

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2012, 08:56:35 AM »
AND I'D LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE!
Orion....that's the one with a bunch of power chords and boringly harsh vocals, isn't it?
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Offline snapple

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2012, 10:59:35 AM »
HE HATED MEXICANS

Offline zepp-head

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #9 on: September 23, 2012, 05:25:39 PM »
And he was half-Mexican!

And he hated irony.

Offline Adami

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #10 on: September 23, 2012, 05:33:34 PM »
All the Yes album covers are Brasky family photos.
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Offline zepp-head

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #11 on: September 23, 2012, 06:04:47 PM »
His poop is considered currency in Argentina.

Offline snapple

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #12 on: September 24, 2012, 05:48:33 AM »
They use his foreskin as a tarp at Yankee Stadium!

Online Zydar

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #13 on: September 24, 2012, 05:53:23 AM »
I once saw him scissor kick Angela Lansbury.
Zydar is my new hero.  I just laughed so hard I nearly shat.

Offline zepp-head

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #14 on: September 24, 2012, 06:49:33 PM »
He had 9 sons, all boys.

Sired a baseball team.  An orchestra if you count the bastards.

Offline Adami

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #15 on: September 24, 2012, 06:51:08 PM »
Brasky got his wife pregnant, and she gave birth to a delicious sixteen ounce steak. The afterbirth was sautéed mushrooms.
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Offline zepp-head

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #16 on: September 24, 2012, 07:31:43 PM »
Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky was in a rendition of The King and I?  Well before the show, Brasky chloroforms the entire cast and slowly devours them in front of the audience for two hours.  The play got pretty good reviews.

Offline hefdaddy42

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #17 on: September 24, 2012, 07:37:23 PM »
Did you know that he once took a bubble bath with Bruce Jenner?
Hef is right on all things. Except for when I disagree with him. In which case he's probably still right.

Offline Adami

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #18 on: September 24, 2012, 07:38:05 PM »
He framed Roger Rabbit.
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Offline hefdaddy42

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #19 on: September 24, 2012, 07:43:37 PM »
Little known fact: I've been mistaken for Bill Brasky while on vacation.

Not once but twice.
Hef is right on all things. Except for when I disagree with him. In which case he's probably still right.

Offline zepp-head

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #20 on: September 24, 2012, 07:55:25 PM »
If you drop a phonograph needle on his left nipple it plays the Beach Boys' "Pet Sounds".

Offline ThatcrazyKISSfan

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #21 on: September 25, 2012, 04:10:31 PM »
I've been to his parties!  He hooks you up with a car-wash!  It's sweet!

Offline snapple

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #22 on: September 25, 2012, 06:55:09 PM »
The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky, except for the part about planting apple trees and not raping men.

Offline Super Dude

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #23 on: September 25, 2012, 07:35:04 PM »
That Bill Brasky is one sonuvabitch!
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As frequently happens, Super Dude nailed it.
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Offline hefdaddy42

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #24 on: September 25, 2012, 08:10:29 PM »
To Brasky!
Hef is right on all things. Except for when I disagree with him. In which case he's probably still right.

Offline zepp-head

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #25 on: September 25, 2012, 08:47:57 PM »
He had a four day heart attack.  A day for each chamber.

During the autopsy they said his heart was like a basketball filled with ricotta cheese.

Offline snapple

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #26 on: September 25, 2012, 08:50:25 PM »
He taught me how to love a woman - and how to scold a child.

Offline zepp-head

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #27 on: September 25, 2012, 09:04:04 PM »
He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Offline snapple

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #28 on: September 26, 2012, 06:43:13 AM »
He made love to all of our wives - and we loved him for it.

Offline zepp-head

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #29 on: September 26, 2012, 07:20:45 AM »
Remember Brasky's bachelor party?  He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper inside.

Offline zepp-head

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Re: To Bill Brasky!
« Reply #30 on: September 27, 2012, 02:02:54 PM »
I ever tell you about the time Brasky and I went camping?  Well me and Brasky are in the back of a truck and he grabs this deer by the antlers and says "My name is Bill Brasky, say it!", and he squeezed the deer in such a way that it made a sound...billbrasky..

Well it wasn't exactly that, but it was pretty good for a deer.