Author Topic: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)  (Read 90926 times)

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Offline genome

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #560 on: July 23, 2014, 03:12:13 PM »
JP went to an art gallery, and at the end, walked into the gift shop. He noticed a print of a painting for sale, and loved it. Turning to the shop assistant, he enquired as to where he could see the real version of the painting.

"Oh, it's right here in the art gallery, sir."
JP: "Really? I didn't see it when I walked around."
"Let me grab an assistant for you to show you around the gallery."

The assistant arrives.

"Hello, sir. I understand you wish to see the full-size version of this painting?"
JP: "Yes. Be my guide so I can see the bigger picture."






I don't get it

Offline Grizz

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #561 on: July 23, 2014, 03:39:41 PM »
Turns out he didn't see it because he didn't look behind the veil. After the assistant brought him along for the ride, he saw the beautiful painting of restless angels. Raw dog.
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #562 on: July 23, 2014, 04:12:07 PM »
How many guitar techs does it take to tune JP's guitar every show?

Two:
One tunes the guitar and the other sacrifices a virgin to appease the all mighty JP.
"How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

Online King Postwhore

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #563 on: July 23, 2014, 04:13:23 PM »
Q:  What does JP like in his porn?


A:  Chunk and Balls.
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So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam
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Offline genome

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #564 on: July 23, 2014, 04:27:49 PM »
Q:  What does MP like in his porn?


A:  Ass and Balls.

Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #565 on: July 23, 2014, 04:28:28 PM »
"How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

Online King Postwhore

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #566 on: July 23, 2014, 04:29:58 PM »
Old age boys! :lol

Haven't watched it in a while.  I better brush up. :lol
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.” - Bob Newhart
So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam
"Oh, I am definitely a jackass!" - TAC

Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #567 on: July 23, 2014, 04:32:39 PM »
How many guitar techs does it take to tune JP's guitar every show?

Three:
One tunes the guitar, one sacrifices a virgin to appease the all mighty JP, and the third brings him a pot of honey.

Wait... Fixed it!
"How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

Offline GasparXR

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #568 on: July 24, 2014, 01:23:54 AM »
JP went to an art gallery, and at the end, walked into the gift shop. He noticed a print of a painting for sale, and loved it. Turning to the shop assistant, he enquired as to where he could see the real version of the painting.

"Oh, it's right here in the art gallery, sir."
JP: "Really? I didn't see it when I walked around."
"Let me grab an assistant for you to show you around the gallery."

The assistant arrives.

"Hello, sir. I understand you wish to see the full-size version of this painting?"
JP: "Yes. Be my guide so I can see the bigger picture."






I don't get it

:neverusethis:

Offline Zydar

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #569 on: July 24, 2014, 01:26:54 AM »
:clap:
Zydar is my new hero.  I just laughed so hard I nearly shat.

Offline chaossystem

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #570 on: July 31, 2014, 12:57:07 PM »
I had dream that I was in Japan wearing a Dream theater shirt. The members of Metallica walked by, and I went up to them and said: "I don't really like Metallica that much, but I had a pen and some paper, so what the fuck."
I can't stop the world from turning around, or the pull of the moon on the tide, but I don't believe that we're in this alone, I believe we're along for the ride...

Offline aprilethereal

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #571 on: September 12, 2014, 10:10:56 AM »
I decided to dig up this thread for this pretty bad one I just thought of:

What does John Myung say when he swears? You Basshole.




Hopefully this one hasn't been posted yet, but whatever.

Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #572 on: October 06, 2015, 09:11:27 AM »
James LaBrie is such a pirate that when he first joined the band, he used to sing, "pull me plunder."
"How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

Offline matthewmatt

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #573 on: October 06, 2015, 03:24:17 PM »
After failing Dream Theater audition...

"They want to qualify their boys for jobs in the modern world. You can hardly blame them, can you?"
"Oh yes," said Scott-King. "I can and do." [...]
"If you approve, headmaster, I will stay as I am here as long as any boy wants to read the classics. I think it would be very wicked indeed to do anything to fit a boy for the modern world."

Offline ToT-147

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #574 on: October 06, 2015, 09:12:39 PM »

UTÓPICA 'Symphonic Progressive Metal' band - First album's now out
iTunes goo.gl/z5kl9d Amazon goo.gl/bWTwMF
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRKNqEH1rxo (Videoclip from Second album)

Offline Vandalism

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #575 on: October 16, 2015, 07:24:12 AM »
I am going mad waiting for more news and the title says bad jokes. So...here goes

What would you call a group of people having a ninja, a wizard, a pirate, a genie and Jesus?
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Offline BlobVanDam

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #576 on: October 16, 2015, 07:26:38 AM »
What would you call a group of people having a ninja, a wizard, a pirate, a genie and Jesus?

The Village People v2.0? :neverusethis:
Only King could mis-spell a LETTER.
Yep. I think the only party in the MP/DT situation that hasn't moved on is DTF.

Offline Vandalism

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #577 on: October 16, 2015, 07:28:56 AM »
What would you call a group of people having a ninja, a wizard, a pirate, a genie and Jesus?

The Village People v2.0? :neverusethis:

 :rollin :rollin
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Offline Sacul

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #578 on: October 16, 2015, 01:56:52 PM »
If they wore masks would they be called Slipknot, or Slipflow?

Offline ToT-147

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #579 on: October 16, 2015, 09:39:02 PM »
If they wore masks would they be called Slipknot, or Slipflow?

Impossible not to think of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfoEJEFHNQM ("DREAM THEATER USED MASKS")
UTÓPICA 'Symphonic Progressive Metal' band - First album's now out
iTunes goo.gl/z5kl9d Amazon goo.gl/bWTwMF
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRKNqEH1rxo (Videoclip from Second album)

Offline James Mypetgiress

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #580 on: October 17, 2015, 04:56:51 AM »
If they wore masks would they be called Slipknot, or Slipflow?

Impossible not to think of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfoEJEFHNQM ("DREAM THEATER USED MASKS")
Dream Theater 2015 Halloween dates - Gwar like suits confirmed.

Offline V_R11

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #581 on: October 25, 2015, 11:04:04 AM »
How many guitar techs does it take to tune JP's guitar every show?

Two:
One tunes the guitar and the other sacrifices a virgin to appease the all mighty JP.

Oh my God  :rollin
Seasons change and so can I

Offline Kotowboy

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #582 on: October 25, 2015, 05:01:44 PM »
A Rudess, A Portnoy and a Petrucci walk into a bar.

They have some liquid. There is some tension and then this experiment of a joke.

Offline Viking of the Sagas

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #583 on: November 23, 2015, 05:13:31 AM »
That's really dry for a liquid.

Offline ToT-147

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #584 on: November 23, 2015, 01:04:30 PM »
A Rudess, A Portnoy and a Petrucci walk into a bar.

They have some liquid. There is some tension and then this experiment of a joke.

They didn't like that project that much, but they had a liquid and some tension, so wtf..

That joke is probably the best thing KM did for while he was in DT.. Nah, I'm just joking.. Or am I not?
UTÓPICA 'Symphonic Progressive Metal' band - First album's now out
iTunes goo.gl/z5kl9d Amazon goo.gl/bWTwMF
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRKNqEH1rxo (Videoclip from Second album)

Offline Mastermax0213

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #585 on: November 23, 2015, 10:18:29 PM »

Offline ToT-147

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #586 on: November 23, 2015, 10:42:12 PM »
 :lol :rollin

Also found this one, about ADToE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XX9NapOh4U

UTÓPICA 'Symphonic Progressive Metal' band - First album's now out
iTunes goo.gl/z5kl9d Amazon goo.gl/bWTwMF
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRKNqEH1rxo (Videoclip from Second album)

Offline Orbert

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #587 on: November 24, 2015, 05:16:27 AM »
MP's reaction mirrors my own.

Offline CDrice

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #588 on: November 24, 2015, 10:45:32 AM »
Why Dream Theater chose another guy named Mike to be their new drummer?

Because James needs a Mike to sing.

Offline Orbert

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #589 on: November 24, 2015, 11:07:41 AM »
:omg:

Offline Kotowboy

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #590 on: November 24, 2015, 11:15:40 AM »
Why Dream Theater chose another guy named Mike to be their new drummer?

Because James needs a Mike to sing.

:|

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #591 on: November 24, 2015, 02:40:43 PM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYFsSBs23G8
Absolutely hilarious.

That was pretty much my face when I first heard that solo.
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Offline Pax

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #592 on: November 24, 2015, 02:45:27 PM »
Why did Mike Mangini join the band?



Because he won the audition, duh
!̸̶͚͖͖̩̻̩̗͍̮̙̈͊͛̈͒̍̐ͣͩ̋ͨ̓̊̌̈̊́̚͝͠ͅ ̷̧̢̛͖̤̟̺̫̗͚̗͖ͪ̏̔̔̒́ͥ̓ͫ̀ͤ̇ͥ͝ ̡̊͛̇F.F.Chopin!̸̶͚͖͖̩̻̩̗͍̮̙̈͊͛̈͒̍̐ͣͩ̋ͨ̓̊̌̈̊́̚͝͠ͅ ̷̧̢̛͖̤̟̺̫̗͚̗͖ͪ̏̔̔̒́ͥ̓ͫ̀ͤ̇ͥ͝ ̡̊͛̇

Offline CDrice

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #593 on: November 24, 2015, 05:28:25 PM »
Why Dream Theater chose another guy named Mike to be their new drummer?

Because James needs a Mike to sing.

:|


Offline Nothingface

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #594 on: November 24, 2015, 09:31:19 PM »
I got a pretty bad Dream Theater joke right here:

Condoms? Um, are they like a dream theater souvenir?  Where can I find those condoms? That'd be really nice to havr.