Author Topic: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)  (Read 90925 times)

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Offline Grizz

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #525 on: April 16, 2014, 08:44:17 AM »
yey i win
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline Sir Walrus Cauliflower

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #526 on: June 02, 2014, 09:14:21 PM »
I'll post these courtesy of my cousin...

How does DT get from concert to concert?
They ride the train of thought.

Why is the DT resturaunt so diverse?
They are known for their frequent Change of Seasonings

Why did DT stay at a crappy hotel?
It was the only one that was vacant.
I feel strangely honored to be following up a post from Sir Walrus Cauliflower.

Offline FlyingBIZKIT

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #527 on: June 03, 2014, 02:00:19 AM »
Why is the DT resturaunt so diverse?
They are known for their frequent Change of Seasonings

This one made me breathe more air out of my nose than usual.

Offline Sir Walrus Cauliflower

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #528 on: June 03, 2014, 08:16:41 AM »
Why is the DT resturaunt so diverse?
They are known for their frequent Change of Seasonings

This one made me breathe more air out of my nose than usual.

As your comment made me.
I feel strangely honored to be following up a post from Sir Walrus Cauliflower.

Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #529 on: June 03, 2014, 04:28:23 PM »
Why did Dream Theater hang out with Sebastian Bach, and then let Richard Chycki into the studio?

Because all former members of Winter Rose look the same to them.
"How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

Offline Jamesman42

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #530 on: June 26, 2014, 11:11:52 AM »
Why did Dream Theater hang out with Sebastian Bach, and then let Richard Chycki into the studio?

Because all former members of Winter Rose look the same to them.


Offline Sycsa

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #531 on: June 26, 2014, 11:49:44 AM »
Nice one! :lol


Sycsa is perhaps the most brilliant and insightful man I have ever encountered.

Offline npiazza91

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #532 on: June 26, 2014, 07:36:27 PM »
Anyone like Chuck Norris jokes?  Just for fun.

Chuck "Octavarium" Norris

The Root of all Chuck Norris (the disc explodes if you try to listen to this one)
The Answer Lies Within Chuck Norris
These Chuck Norrises (Chuck Norris hates this songs because there can only be one Chuck Norris)
Chuck Norris Walks Beside You (this song prevents all suicides to those that listen)
Chuck Norris Attack (this song is just a man screaming in agony...for a millisecond, because Chuck Norris already killed him)
Never Enough Chuck Norris (this song never ends...because there is "Never Enough" Chuck Norris)
Sacrificed Sons of Chuck Norris
Chuck "Octavarium" Norris


So I was talking to my friend and he had this to say to me.  "Man, I was taking this test and it was A Nightmare to Remember.  They made you take A Rite of Passage and it made me Wither in my seat.  I just couldn't take my mind off of The Shattered Fortress from that one movie we saw remember?  Man those were the Best of Times.  Makes you want to become the Count of Tuscany huh?"

So I said this to him.  "You know what, man?  Why don't you just Pull Me Under  Another Day huh?  If you just Take The Time and relax, I'm sure you'll be Surrounded by women before you know it.  Wouldn't that be a Metropolis, huh?  Just don't go sitting outside Under a Glass Moon.  When it comes down to it you just have to Wait For Sleep.  What can I tell you, man?  It's all about Learning to Live."

"You know what, man...that's so true."


haha, I can have fun with these for hours.


Offline Grizz

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #533 on: June 26, 2014, 07:58:24 PM »
Why do I doubt that 91 stands for your birthday?

Different strokes for different folks, but I've always found Chuck Norris jokes to be among the most stupid things I could find on the internet until I found an interview of the man himself.
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #534 on: June 26, 2014, 08:17:27 PM »
Those are more like Chuck Norris puns... But let's see, Chuck Norris/DT Joke... Hmm...

Chuck Norris is the only man to beat Jordan Rudess in a piano playing competition. (You see because it's a joke... And not a good one.)
"How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

Offline Zyzzyva17

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #535 on: June 26, 2014, 10:03:02 PM »
Chuck Norris can cross the crooked step.
D - D/F# - G - D - Bm - Bm/A - E/G# - A

Offline npiazza91

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #536 on: June 26, 2014, 10:55:47 PM »
Why do I doubt that 91 stands for your birthday?

Different strokes for different folks, but I've always found Chuck Norris jokes to be among the most stupid things I could find on the internet until I found an interview of the man himself.

It's all good.  I don't necessarily find them very funny, but they don't bother me either.  They are just so freaking stupid and out there that I get a chuckle out of them every now and again.  Just think realistically about it for a sec.  The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris when he goes to sleep.  First of all, WHY CHUCK NORRIS?  Second, imagine for a second that the boogeyman actually sleeps like a normal, regular human being.  Then, imagine that he must have a room, which means he OWNS A HOUSE.  The boogeyman owns a house.  Not only that, but he's scared to go to sleep because of Chuck Norris.  If you break it down like that, it's actually funny.  I have a Seinfeld type sense of humor, so exaggerated humor is funny to me.

Also, yes I was born in 1991.  It's hard to tell how someone is like on the internet, but I can't stand most of the people my age.  Way too immature.  I go to work full time, come home and...that's it.  I volunteer as a crisis/suicide prevention counselor as well.  I served in the US Army for 4 years as well, got out a few months ago.  I guess the little kid in me comes out for certain things.  I could be reading Stephen King (love his books) one minute, then pop in some Pokemon on my DS.  Not trying to sound defensive, as I could totally tell where you're coming from.  Just thought I'd put it out there.

Offline ?

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #537 on: June 27, 2014, 09:43:35 AM »
Chuck Norris can cross the crooked step.
:rollin

Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #538 on: July 01, 2014, 11:25:35 PM »
What did Dream Theater name their Chinese restaurant?

I Wok Beside You
"How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

Offline Orbert

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #539 on: July 02, 2014, 10:05:11 AM »
:lol Not bad!

Offline puppyonacid

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #540 on: July 02, 2014, 10:20:55 AM »
What did Dream Theater name their bakery?

A Cake
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Offline puppyonacid

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #541 on: July 02, 2014, 10:21:40 AM »
No!

Cream Theater!
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Offline BlobVanDam

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #542 on: July 02, 2014, 10:22:42 AM »
What did Dream Theater name their bakery?

A Cake

No!

Cream Theater!

When Cream and Cake Unite?
Only King could mis-spell a LETTER.
Yep. I think the only party in the MP/DT situation that hasn't moved on is DTF.

Offline puppyonacid

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #543 on: July 02, 2014, 10:29:51 AM »
Cream of Consciousness
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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #544 on: July 02, 2014, 03:20:28 PM »
Bake Away My Pain (Because in French, "pain" means bread)
"How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

Offline GasparXR

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #545 on: July 02, 2014, 07:10:13 PM »
Bake Away My Pain (Because in French, "pain" means bread)

I thought that was a stoner joke for a second there.

Offline kanutaros

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #546 on: July 02, 2014, 08:02:31 PM »
How about we combine DT album names and come up with absurd titles:

- A Dramatic Change of Trains
- Images of Trains
- Black Clouds of Inner Turbulence


I'm out of ideas already. Bonus points for not using 'train' or 'turbulence'.

Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #547 on: July 02, 2014, 08:08:12 PM »
Systematic Turn Of Infinity

Scenes From Images

Dream Awake
"How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

Offline Zyzzyva17

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #548 on: July 02, 2014, 11:29:24 PM »
Six Dramatic Scenes from a Black Theater
D - D/F# - G - D - Bm - Bm/A - E/G# - A

Offline Kotowboy

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #549 on: July 03, 2014, 02:51:15 PM »
What did Dream Theater name their bakery?

A Cake

No!

Cream Theater!

When Cream and Cake Unite?

That used to be my sig.

Offline RoeDent

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #550 on: July 07, 2014, 03:51:45 PM »
James LaBrie gets a new job as a shopkeeper. As each customer gives him money for their purchases, he opens the till and says "I think it's time for your CHAAAYEEAAAAAAAANGE!!!"

Offline rumborak

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #551 on: July 07, 2014, 04:33:41 PM »
What does the British government and DT have in common? Both get rid of their MPs after a while  ;D

What does the camera man from LSFNY and Kristin Shepard have in common? Both shot JR.

Ok, I'm done.
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Offline Grizz

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #552 on: July 07, 2014, 04:49:12 PM »
MM and JP walk into a bar.

JP says "I've waited forever to do that."
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline Kotowboy

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #553 on: July 07, 2014, 07:54:58 PM »
MM and JP walk into a bar.

JP says "I've waited forever to do that."


they didnt wait long to be served. It was only a bar of 3.

Offline Grizz

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #554 on: July 07, 2014, 08:03:56 PM »
Different strokes for different folks. I know Edward likes to get it on in bars of 19 sometimes, other times bars of 1.
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline vbrodrigues95

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #555 on: July 10, 2014, 11:33:38 AM »
DT went to a party to pick up some girls, but the security said that they could only score when they are 20 years old.

Offline Grizz

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #556 on: July 10, 2014, 07:38:54 PM »
It didn't help when JLB kept misrepresenting their age
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #557 on: July 10, 2014, 07:53:39 PM »
Mike Portnoy gathered the band together in September of 2010 and decided to play a prank on them. He jokingly said that he wants the band to take a hiatus, otherwise he quits.

...

The joke backfired in a big way.
"How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

Offline MoraWintersoul

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #558 on: July 11, 2014, 08:43:11 AM »
Kinda like when you go to your wife and say "Taking care of the baby is tiresome, I want a break or I'm out" and she hands you the divorce papers even when you've said you were kidding? Meanwhile she auditions 7 husbands-to-be, but hooks up with the first dude right away? And the baby gets two Grammy nominations?

I'll show myself out.

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #559 on: July 11, 2014, 08:51:21 AM »
DT went to a party to pick up some girls, but the security said that they could only score when they are 20 years old.
It didn't help when JLB kept misrepresenting their age
:lol