RESULTS – ROUND 4: So Bad it’s GoodWow, you guys are all insane.
Firstly, everyone wagered double points. Secondly, there’s a hilarious array of bad music in here, although some much more so than others. The songs that scored highest are those that are genuinely awful but try to be good, because this is what’s so funny about it. Songs that weren’t hideous enough, or were deliberately bad as a joke, have generally scored lower.
Although I was hoping the wager system would turn the tables a bit, it seems to have just gone the other way and made the gaps even bigger, except for one guy who really climbed up! But, just some advance warning – all is not lost, as I will be repeating the wager system for my final round.
Raven
4 points – wagered double – 8 points
Brokencyde – FreaxxxGood god. This song. I can’t believe this actually exists. I have nothing else to say.
Ytse
3 points – wagered double – 6 points
Holy Grail – My Last AttackTHESE VOCALS IN THE VERSES – URGH! Right, that’s that said. As many people will know, I dislike using words such as “generic” to describe why I dislike something, because it’s usually used unfairly and just a lazy get-out from just saying that you happen not to like it. However, in this case, it’s the perfect description. The song isn’t even that terrible – the chorus is quite enjoyable and there’s a decent solo – the problem is that this is the very definition of mediocre power metal that, I can only assume, is meant to be serious. And that is what is so dire about it.
Gorille
2 points – wagered double – 4 points
Gunther – Ding Dong SongOH YOU TOUCH MY TRA LA LA.
OH MY DING DING DONG.
This guy sounds like a legend, I’m going to have to check him out.
LLTWM
1 points – wagered double – 2 points
Black Out Band – Video GamesWtf was that. I didn’t score it higher because I simply don’t believe it’s trying to be serious, but this is absolutely ghastly. Even as a joke it should never have existed. Brb going to play video games.
DTVT
0 points – wagered double – 0 points
WDVE – DeathtrainOH MY GOD MY EARS. I feel like this was cheating slightly as the song was deliberately written to be bad. That said, I still put it mid-table because it really is absolutely horrible to listen to. And yes, I forced myself to listen through the whole thing. Twice. Not in a row though, I think that might have resulted in suicide.
King
-1 points – wagered double – -2 points
Sweatpants Boners – Number 2So, a song about poo. Nice. Again I think it’s kinda cheating as, based on the name of the band, I don’t think these guys are meant to be taken seriously.
Sigz
-2 points – wagered double – -4 points
Hammerhead – Everybody Gets Laid TonightSorry dude but this just wasn’t awful enough. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t at all good, but I just found it boring. Although the lyrics are quite laughable!
Jingle
-3 points – wagered double – -6 points
Bob & Doug Mckenzie – Take OffThis is an unusual submission as it didn’t really strike me as bad – I mean the fictional group is a comedy sketch and the song is actually quite funny and enjoyable. Plus Geddy Lee’s cameos are kinda cool. I mean it’s not great, and it is funny to listen to, but those two facts aren’t actually related!
The ScoresRaven: 6 + 3 + 5 + 8 = 22
Gorille: 5 + 6 + 4 + 4 = 19
LLTWM: 3 + 4 + 6 + 2 = 15
Ytse: 4 + 1 + 3 + 6 = 14
Sigz: 2 + 5 + 5 – 4 = 8
DTVT: 4 + 2 + 2 + 0 = 8
King: 3 + 4 + 2 – 2 = 7
Jingle: 2 + 3 + 3 – 6 = 2
Oh dear, Chad.
Ytse is right up there now though!
ROUND 5: So energy! – Back to normal themes, completely open in terms of genre, but send me something energetic, something that’ll get my blood pumping!