This email sounds so legit v. Troll the scammers

[Elite]

This thread is awesome 
But the first two were really the best I think.
How come I never get this scam?

[Progmetty]

Hello my dear

I humbly write to solicit for your partnership and assistance in the transfer and investment of my inheritance fund (USD 10.5M) Ten Million Five Hundred Thousand U.S Dollars from my late father who died mysteriously last year.

I will like to further introduce myself to you. My name is Miss.Rachael Koffi, I am age of 19 years girl, am only child  of my late parents Mr.and Mrs.Alhaji Amadu Koffi

It was very evident that he was poisoned to death. In my culture, when a man dies, if he does not have a male child, the brothers shares his property leaving both the wife and the daughters empty handed including  the house they live in. This is the exact case with me as I am the only daughter of my father. I lost my mother when I was barely a year old and my father refused to re-marry another wife because he felt solely responsible for my mothers death.

This is so because he concentrated much on his businesses that he rarely pays attention to domestic affairs. He was always travelling taking care of his businesses that he did not notice when my mother took ill. He thought it was a minor illness and was ignorant of this. My mother on her own resorted to self-medication. It was not until the illness degenerated that my father took my mother to  hospital where she was diagnosed to find out that hypatitis had eaten deep into her blood stream. She didn't last long before she died.

This  happened when I was barely a year old. Based on this, my father could not forgive himself easily because of it and said he was responsible for her death as he could have saved her if only he had paid attention to the things at home rather than concentrating much on his businesses.

Despite all entreaties by friends and relatives, he refused to remarry but ensured that I had everything that I wanted. It was as a result of this that he made me the next of kin to his fund deposit with the bank and stated that in the event of any eventuality, I should have a direct access to the fund only when I am 25 years of age otherwise I should have a guardian/partner intercede on my behalf for the release of the funds to me. Unfortunately, he died late last year and I am 19 years of age currently.
This is why I have contacted you to serve as a guardian to me and as my foreign partner for the transfer and investment of the fund overseas, My uncles does not know about the fund because he had already taken my father's houses and other properties because I am a girl and he said I do not have rights for any property.

He have requested to have  my father's bank papers but I simply told him that I do not know where he kept them.he  took the house in the village while the houses in the town were sold out.
Right now i am in the hotel and do sincerely want to travel out of the country. This can only happen when I have secured  the release and transfer of the funds into your bank account.This why it is  important that we have a plan on the type of lucrative business that we can invest the funds on.

I had at various times had discussions with the director of international remittance unit of the bank where my father deposited the funds and I was assured that once, I have someone who would be willing to receive the funds on my behalf, they shall commence all proceedings to effect  the release and transfer of the funds into the person's designated account.

Now, that you have signified your interest to partner with me, it would only be very necessary if you contact the bank and request for  the release and transfer of my inheritance fund into your nominated account for the purpose of investment and to further have me come over to your country to continue with my studies.

I shall be giving you the banks contact details as soon as I hear back from you so that you will go ahead and contact the bank.
Your urgent response will be appreciated.
Talk to you the more.
May God bless you for helping me

Regard
Sincerely
Miss.Rachael Koffi

Received yesterday from racheal@yahoo.com

[chknptpie]

https://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/australian-woman-turns-tables-nigerian-scammers-175755518.html

The Courier-Mail reports that Sarah Jane Cochrane-Ramsey, 23, was employed as an "agent" in March 2010 by the Nigerians, but didn't know they were scam artists. Her "job" was to provide access to an Australian bank account opened in her name where the Nigerians could then transfer money they had received from a phony car sales website. Cochrane-Ramsey was told she could keep eight percent of the transfers.

But, then she decided to steal from the thieves themselves. According to the Courier-Mail, she received two payments, totaling $33,350, but spent most of it on herself.

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

The unfortunate thing there was that she didn't actually steal from the scammers.  She provided an account for the victims to put money into, which would then be given to the Nigerians.  She simply took the money herself.  The victims still lost the money, the scammers just never got any of it.

[TheStinger]

My dad has recently been trying to sell his car and he put an advert up on Gumtree and CarsGuide.  He has received at least two replies that I know of that have been less than, shall we say, above board.  Here is the first one.


thanks for the swift response and do as well advise on the least
>> amount you will like to give it away as i am buying this for Dad and
>> due to the nature of my job and location...i will not be able to come
>> for inspection,am a very busy type as i work long hours everyday,i
>> have gone through your advertisement and i am satisfied with it.As for
>> the payment..i can only pay via the fastest and secure way to pay
>> online(PayPal).I have a private courier agent that will come for the
>> pick up after the payment have been made ...
>>
>> You can now send me your PayPal email so i can pay in right away and
>> also include your address in your reply.If you don't have a paypal
>> account, you can easily set up one...log on to www.paypal.com and sign
>> up its very easy... i would have loved to talk to you on phone but i
>> work mainly offshore, our phone is down on the rig right now due to
>> bad weather,that was why but for now we can only communicate through
>> the same mailing channel.await your reply asap


Suffice it to say that we consigned his offer to the bin.  But this next guy who tried it on, well I think he takes the cake.  Even his attempt at a scam is completely laughable.  Here it is.



Hello,

Thanks for the response to my demand I just finished discussing with my wife .We will appreciate if you will keep this vehicle for us because we have been looking for this type of your particular model for a long time now and i have concluded your vehicle to be our best choice and ordered that payment should be
made out in your name immediately, meaning that payment will get to you in a cashier cheque of USD10000.
 
So you are required to deduct the cost of your vehicle USD1100 when payment gets to you,you will refund the balance of  USD8900 to our shipping agent via western union money transfer for him to be able to offset shipping charges and settle taxes that might occur on the course of shipping the vehicle.
 
After payment has reached you and balance sent back to our shipping agent,the shipping agent will come for the pick up and take to a prepaid shipper to be shipped to us,while other necessary documents will be sent by you via courier service to us.
 
Please Confirm this and provide the following information.
1,Your real name that the cheque will bear.
2,Address where you will receive the payment.
3,Your phone number for easy communication

For cheque payment to be delivered to you via courier service immediately. I will be waiting to get the information's as soon as possible.
 
Best regards,
Stephen.


Well, this one was worthy of my dad replying to him.  And here is my dad's answer.



Hi Stephen
 
I have just finished discussing this with MY wife and we have decided not to accept your demand.   We both think that you need to go and get a REAL job because you are not very good at this one.
 
My son even thinks that you need to see a doctor very soon because your parents must have dropped you on your head when you were a baby and your have very severe brain damage.
 
Your pathetic attempt at extortion has been reported to the police so you should pack a bag and be waiting for them to come and get you very soon.
 
Have a good day.
 
Bye



My dad has heard nothing further from him. 

[Gadough]

Bump.

My mother just burst into my room. Wild-eyed and breathless, she says "Drew, I think...I think I just won a million dollars."

My bullshit detector immediately switches on.

"Uh-huh. Let me see the email."

She hands me her phone, and within seconds, I'm laughing my ass off.

Enjoy.

[Riceball]

We go from 'ingly complicated to 'ingly simple.

Got one in our group mailbox junk today. Simply said, in the subject line:

WE THE FBI HAVE WARRANT TO ARREST YOU GET BACK TO US FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

And had a text file attached.



 

[DebraKadabra]

 

[Gadough]

Here's an email I received at work today.


"We got today a letter from tax depratment they writing that we have not paid all needed taxes.
You must urgent clear this shit other way they are freeze our bank acconuts.

I have scanned the letter for you, you will find it in attach. Clear this situtaion and write me back."


The funny thing? They forgot to include the attachment.

[ishak540m]

the best junk e-mail I've ever received:

 "Maya Look.. its important for you.. Roosevelta Do you like R&X? How about Cheap Xannxae -- Hydrokodan And Xannie ? newliferx.com Cleoa Hildegarde, however, was a princess. She gained her feet leisurely, with Bobbia the king, gravely joining their hands."

WTF?

[carl320]

I got a call in the last week from a financial institution (I'll leave unnamed) claiming that my debit card had been disabled.  (I didn't answer it, but it left an automated voicemail.)  The funny thing is I have no accounts with said financial institution and had heard about this scam earlier in the day from a coworker.

[robwebster]

the best junk e-mail I've ever received:

 "Maya Look.. its important for you.. Roosevelta Do you like R&X? How about Cheap Xannxae -- Hydrokodan And Xannie ? newliferx.com Cleoa Hildegarde, however, was a princess. She gained her feet leisurely, with Bobbia the king, gravely joining their hands."

WTF?

Slap some bongos under that and you could recite it in a smoky bar pretty much as-is.

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

the best junk e-mail I've ever received:

 "Maya Look.. its important for you.. Roosevelta Do you like R&X? How about Cheap Xannxae -- Hydrokodan And Xannie ? newliferx.com Cleoa Hildegarde, however, was a princess. She gained her feet leisurely, with Bobbia the king, gravely joining their hands."

WTF?

It's like reading a Google Translate of Sigur Ros lyrics...