Which famous author do you write like?

[ZBomber]

WHICH HARRY POTTER CHARACTER ARE YOU?!




I GOT YODA

[Ravenheart]

Things like this are a waste of time. They do not work. To prove my point. I tried at least three paragraphs from my own well known published work. The results were H.P. Lovecraft, J.D. Salinger, and Edgar Allen Poe. I then typed in "Hello dumbassed program. Why won't this work?" and was told I write like Ernest Hemmingway. Really?

The combination of Lovecraft and Poe isn't too far-fetched, since they're not worlds apart from each other, but I guess neither author had an influence on your novel or are favorites of yours. What novel of yours did you lift an excerpt from?

[El Barto]

I fed it excerpts from The Banshee Screams for Buffalo Meat,  The Stand,  and The Andromeda Strain,  and it didn't get any of the authors.  If it can't pick out the actual authors from their own work,  I'd call it worthless.  

edit:  TV beat me to it.

[El Barto]

And the final nail:

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive..." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"

The sporting editors had also given me $300 in cash, most of which was already spent on extremely dangerous drugs. The trunk of the car looked like a mobile police narcotics lab. We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug-collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

You write like:  Edgar Allen Poe

[TempusVox]

 What novel of yours did you lift an excerpt from?

  Nice try. Sorry.

[Ravenheart]

 What novel of yours did you lift an excerpt from?

  Nice try. Sorry.

.......

[AcidLameLTE]

Because I was joking.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhetorical_question 

Yeah but your reply made it sound like you didn't get that it was a joke.

[Jamesman42]

 What novel of yours did you lift an excerpt from?

  Nice try. Sorry.

.......

Everyone wants to know what famous author TV is

[Adami]

 What novel of yours did you lift an excerpt from?

  Nice try. Sorry.

.......

Everyone wants to know what famous author TV is

Not everyone cares.

[Jamesman42]

yes you do Adami, you told me last night

[Adami]

yes you do Adami, you told me last night

You know, try as I might I can't come up with a good sex joke involving either the concept of authors of Tempus. Damn.

[Firetruck]

 What novel of yours did you lift an excerpt from?

  Nice try. Sorry.

.......

Everyone wants to know what famous author TV is

I'm determined to figure it out now.

[Jamesman42]

yes you do Adami, you told me last night

You know, try as I might I can't come up with a good sex joke involving either the concept of authors of Tempus. Damn.

let's just say i whispered "Dan Brown" in your ear last night for a reason

[Ravenheart]

 What novel of yours did you lift an excerpt from?

  Nice try. Sorry.

.......

Everyone wants to know what famous author TV is

So he's a famous author with well-known work, but he refuses to tell anyone on an internet forum who he is.

Got it.

[Adami]

Another "WHO IS TV OMG?!?!?" thread?

Eh. Well I'm out, have fun with that.

[Ravenheart]

Another "WHO IS TV OMG?!?!?" thread?

Eh. Well I'm out, have fun with that.

As much as the condescension is appreciated, I really don't care. I'm just surprised.

[73109]

I've always personally believed TV was bull shitting us all.

[Ħ]

Kevin J Anderson.  It's so obvious.

[LeeHarveyKennedy]

For the record, my money's on that Twilight broad.

[Phoenix87x]

Gave it a paragraph from a term paper and it told me David Foster Wallace. Never heard of him, but now I'm intrigued to know more.

[Fuzzboy]

So I fed it the weirdest thing I could come up with:

"Feces. Feces everywhere. It, surrounds me and loves me, yet it drowns me. I don't know what I would do without you, and yet I don't know what I am doing with you. You are an endless pungent disease that eats away at me, yet you are made of what I've eaten. The irony is astounding, but also marvelous. As I beat off into the endless night, I think of you. I SMELL you. I need to change my trousers."

and it gave me Dan Brown

[Gadough]

 

Fuzz wins.

[73109]

Being the immature teen that I am, I entered this into the system:

I enjoy curse words. Cunt is probably my favorite word. Either that or fuck. I like really cursey curse words. After all, ass is in the bible. Anything that is in the bible is not a curse words. Neither fuck nor cunt is in the bible, which is why I like those words. Don't get me started on cock and arse...

I write like James Joyce. Fuckin' A!

[LeeHarveyKennedy]

Gave it a paragraph from a term paper and it told me David Foster Wallace. Never heard of him, but now I'm intrigued to know more.

If you like personal essays written like term papers, he'll be right up your alley. He did a very interesting essay, entitled Big Red Son, on the AVN Awards, looking into the porn industry from all sorts of angles. I highly recommend that one.

[lonestar]

OK, I put in my explanation of the birds and the bees to Lateralus...

OK, your parents should have told you this, but being a father myself, I'll give it a shot.  Now you know that all people hug each other when they like each other, but when mommies and daddies love each other a lot, and want to have a little boy or girl to share that love with, they have a very, very special hug they use.  For this hug, they must have no clothes on.  Now I know it may seem icky, and something you might get cooties from, but as you get older you will understand better.  Now daddies have a pee-pee, just like your little fella you go potty with, but mommies are different, they have a little hole down there, which we will call The Eternal Pit of Hopeless Despair.  Now when mommy and daddy do this special hug to make a baby, daddy takes his pee-pee and puts it into mommy's Eternal Pit of Hopeless Despair.  Soon, daddy's pee-pee will squirt out baby milk, which is kind of like pee, but in the long run will cost daddy a whole lot more money, especially if mommy keeps having special hugs with her fitness instructor.  Now there are little guys in daddy's baby milk called little troopers, and they are stupid as dirt, because anything in there right mind would swim as fast as they could from mommy's Eternal Pit of Hopeless Despair.  But, as I said, they only have one brain cell, and it says 'wat."  So the little troopers swim up mommy's Eternal Pit of Hopeless Despair, to eventually reach the End of it All.  The little troopers attack the End of it All, and one guy is so fucking retarded, that he actually gets through.  Deep in daddy's mind, a low foghorn sounds, signaling the end of his life as he knows it.  The two form a new life, and it grows in mommy's tummy for nine months, constantly planning devious ways to drive daddy stone cold batshit.  At the end of nine months, the baby is ready to come out of The Eternal Pit of Hopeless despair.  Now some will say that it is a beautiful moment of creation, that this is what life is all about.  They are wrong.  Mommy's Eternal Pit of Hopeless Despair grows to a size inconcievable to even the most wise of men.  Then the baby comes out, not in a shining moment of glory, but in a bloody, tisssue ridden, vomit inducing mess.  Then mommy and daddy look to see what the baby has.  If it has a pee-pee, then it is a boy.  If it has a little Eternal Pit of Hopless Despair, it is a girl, and mommy and daddy give the baby an appropriate name to make sure that gender indentity is firmly established.  Next, mommy and daddy kiss bye-bye to the next twenty or thirty years of their lives, only to re-emerge as feeble, old people who smell and of are no good use to society anymore.
                    I hope that helps you lat.

and it said Stephen King.

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

Used my review for In a Flesh Aquarium that can be found in the review section. Got H.P. Lovecraft. Ha.

[Adami]

I typed in this. yunijkmrfevirfgergremgrepmgerogre. jfjorjfroiwroifrwoeifjeoirfjoierjre. oijeroihegoijregoijgrierg, eojgojegjregeg!

And it said I write like Stephanie Meyer.


This proves that this site is 100% accurate.

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

I typed in this. yunijkmrfevirfgergremgrepmgerogre. jfjorjfroiwroifrwoeifjeoirfjoierjre. oijeroihegoijregoijgrierg, eojgojegjregeg!

And it said I write like Stephanie Meyer.


This proves that this site is 100% accurate.

[obscure]

I typed in this. yunijkmrfevirfgergremgrepmgerogre. jfjorjfroiwroifrwoeifjeoirfjoierjre. oijeroihegoijregoijgrierg, eojgojegjregeg!

And it said I write like Stephanie Meyer.


This proves that this site is 100% accurate.

[bremac]

Any short paragraph consisting solely of repetitions of the word "penis" produces Anne Rice as the result.   Another +1 for accuracy.

[Jarlaxle]

Well I put in a chapter of my fantasty novel in works and it gave me JRR Tolkien. So for that it is mildy accurate, not like I'm a genius such as he, but I feel like I do have a pretty good way with words when I want to.

[lonestar]

I put a picture of my cock in it, and it gave me The Bible.

[Adami]

I put a picture of my cock in it, and it gave me The Bible.

You sure you didn't put the bible in there and it gave you a picture of a penis?


Good idea actually, I'm going to put in sections of the bible.


Apparently Dan Brown wrote Genesis.


HP Lovecraft wrote John.

L. Frank Baum wrote Revelation.



Good stuff.

[Horatio]

Our deadly sins feel his mortal wrath
Remove all obstacles from our path

Asking questions
Search for clues
The answer's been right in front of you

Try to break through
Long to connect
Fall on deaf ears and fails muted breath

Loyalty, trust, faith and desire
Carries love through each darkest fire

Tortured Insanity
A smothering hell
Try to escape but no avail

The calls of admirers
Who claim they adore
Drain all your lifeblood while begging for more

Innocent victims of merciless crimes
Fall prey to some madmen's impulsive designs

Step after step
We try controlling our fate
When we finally start living it has become too late

Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium

John Petrucci writes like Dan Brown.

[Heretic]

Let it analyze two lyrical songs I've written and got Shakespeare and Poe, and then I let it analyze my most recent paper for English and got James Joyce.