Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?

[Fuzzboy]

Same thing happened to me with a girl I had no interest in at all (although it doesn't happen with the ones I AM interested in, unfortunately) for four straight years. I had to finally just tell her (more than once) that I was not at all interested in her and blah blah. TBH, I feel kind of like an ass for being so direct about it since we've kind of ignored each other recently, but it's better than having someone annoying/harassing you all the time. Worth it, imo.

[sneakyblueberry]

..and straight?

No. I am gay. ...I probably didn't make that as clear as I should have.

It makes heaps more sense now

[KevShmev]

Unfortunately, you are probably gonna have to be harsh and really hurt his feelings for him to get the idea, since your not-so subtle hints are obviously not working.  It would be understandable to feel bad about it, but by being this persistent and annoying about it, he has put you in a position where you are gonna have to be extremely blunt and honest as to why you have no interest in him (which will come off as harsh, but it is what it is) for him to really get the idea.  And don't let him play the "you are so mean" card to you or your friends.  

[El Barto]

get him fired. 

He doesn't get opportunity the to try anything physically while at work since we're in different departments and are kept equally busy. He'll talk about me to other staff but since I don't personally hear it, it probably wouldn't be fair to bring up/classify as sexual harassment. 90% of this happens outside of work.

In hindsight I probably shouldn't have put colleague in the thread title,  but I wouldn't classify him as a ''friend.''

It still certainly qualifies as sexual harassment.  However, I wasn't suggesting squealing to HR to get him fired.  I was thinking more along the lines of framing him for embezzlement/pilfering or something along those lines. 

Of course that approach is not for everybody.  Like I said (and others have echoed),  you're just going to have to be an asshole about it.  It's unfortunate, but it's a situation of his own creation. 

[rumborak]

I don't think one has to be an asshole. I think a firm "This has to stop, now. If it doesn't I will have to engage HR in this." sets a very clear message without involving the outside world (yet).

rumborak

[King Postwhore]

I don't think one has to be an asshole. I think a firm "This has to stop, now. If it doesn't I will have to engage HR in this." sets a very clear message without involving the outside world (yet).

rumborak

I'm with you on this.  This is the way to go.

[secludedmayhem]

I don't think one has to be an asshole. I think a firm "This has to stop, now. If it doesn't I will have to engage HR in this." sets a very clear message without involving the outside world (yet).

rumborak

I'm with you on this.  This is the way to go.

Agreed.  It definitely still qualifies as sexual harassment.  Go to HR - or if you feel bad about that warn him that if it doesn't stop you will go to HR.  Then it's his choice whether you do or not.

[The Ugliest Unicorn]

Got it. Thanks for all your feedback. Much appreciated.

[Dr. DTVT]

Go to HR, that's what they are for. It's plain sexual harassment, and yes, if it happens outside the work place it still is.

rumborak

XJDenton also said this earlier, and I'm agreeing with both of them.  Two things you may want to do: 1) Document the next time it happens.  Save the IM's, get screenshots, whathave you.  Actually, definately do that.  2) You may want to give him an ultimatum to stop or you're going to HR/boss if you think it will get him to stop, especially if you don't want to out yourself to your company or you think getting him in trouble will strain your other friendships.