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Author Topic: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?  (Read 5811 times)

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Offline The Ugliest Unicorn

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Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« on: June 28, 2011, 05:30:55 PM »
So, I work with a guy that is ''madly in love with me'' though he has never said as in much person, due to cowardice, only over I.M. and from telling other friends/work colleagues of mine and them then relaying it to me in private. I'm beginning to get tired of him since he doesn't seem to want to believe I'm not at all attracted to him, even when I've told him straight that nothing will ever happen between us, period (our personalities aren't compatible and I just don't find him physically attractive).

He's constantly bringing me up in conversation to my friends when I'm not around, telling obvious lies about how great I am in bed (as much as a compliment my hypothetical performance with him may be) when he's called out on this since everyone in our social circle knows I wouldn't sleep with him, he immediately backtracks and admits that no, we haven't slept together, but ''he wishes we would'' and that he taken to ''thinking about me when kissing other guys''.

Unfortunately since we work together, and he's a part of my social circle he invites himself to night outs often makes moves  on me when he thinks I'm inebriated enough to not deny his incompetent advances. Now I just stand still and glare at him till he stops trying to hold my hand/waist. This puts me in a bad mood for the rest of the evening. When other people make advances on me, and we mess around he'll have a hissy fit and ruin it for everyone else (I know this probably makes the situation worse but I'm not going to turn down a fling just because he's around).

He knows exactly when I'll be around as he copies my shift timetable, hell, he probably knows my schedule better than I do.

So, what should I do? I don't want to leave my job since I'm quite good at it, have made lots of good friends, and telling him we won't ever be in a relationship doesn't appear to have any effect. Help?

P.S. not a copy pasta prank
« Last Edit: June 28, 2011, 05:44:46 PM by The Ugliest Unicorn »
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Offline El Barto

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2011, 05:46:30 PM »
Well,  I don't guess "I'm gay" is going to do you much good. 

I'd say that increasing amounts of sternness up to the point of "yours wouldn't be the first body buried under my house."  Failing that, get him fired. 
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Offline XJDenton

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2011, 05:47:41 PM »
It sounds like sexual harassment. Report him to your boss for it.
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Offline The Ugliest Unicorn

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2011, 05:53:58 PM »
Quote from: El Barto on June 28, 2011, 05:46:30 PM
Well,  I don't guess "I'm gay" is going to do you much good.

The opposite might do the trick, but there's no chance I could keep that front up.

Quote
...get him fired. 

He doesn't get opportunity the to try anything physically while at work since we're in different departments and are kept equally busy. He'll talk about me to other staff but since I don't personally hear it, it probably wouldn't be fair to bring up/classify as sexual harassment. 90% of this happens outside of work.

In hindsight I probably shouldn't have put colleague in the thread title,  but I wouldn't classify him as a ''friend.''
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Offline dethklok09

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2011, 05:58:29 PM »
You must be one sexy ugliest unicorn  :hat
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Offline LeeHarveyKennedy

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Re: Maybe get a signature to match?
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2011, 05:58:44 PM »
How about you come up with the best goddamn username ever? Oh wait, you did, and that's still not working? Huh. Damn.
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Offline The Ugliest Unicorn

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2011, 06:03:42 PM »
Quote from: dethklok09 on June 28, 2011, 05:58:29 PM
You must be one sexy ugliest unicorn  :hat

It's the horn. Guys dig the horn.

Quote from: LeeHarveyKennedy on June 28, 2011, 05:58:44 PM
How about you come up with the best goddamn username ever? Oh wait, you did, and that's still not working? Huh. Damn.

 :lol
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Offline GuineaPig

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2011, 06:04:36 PM »
I think the guy has issues if he's comfortable with letting his tongue run loose behind your back but can't talk to you in person.
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Offline dethklok09

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2011, 06:07:00 PM »
Well see if you can get in a relationship with someone else (might be hard considering he messes the attempts up) but if you can maybe he'll back off if your in a relationship. It might work.
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Offline Adami

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2011, 06:08:39 PM »
Do you have a very intimidating large male friend who can claim offense upon such advances and invoke a fear of retaliation from said friend?
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Offline The Ugliest Unicorn

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2011, 06:11:24 PM »
Quote from: GuineaPig on June 28, 2011, 06:04:36 PM
I think the guy has issues if he's comfortable with letting his tongue run loose behind your back but can't talk to you in person.

It's strange. He acts super confident, constantly making unfunny wisecracks about sex, all the guys he's slept with yadda...yadda but he can't seem to ask me out like a normal person, sure I'd turn him down without even giving it a second thought, I figure he knows this, but I'd appreciate him being candid about this shit rather than trying to awkwardly dirty dance.
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Offline ricky

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2011, 06:12:06 PM »
just stick him, brah.







the big nasty has spoken.
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Offline dethklok09

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2011, 06:18:36 PM »
/thread
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Offline sneakyblueberry

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #13 on: June 28, 2011, 06:30:33 PM »
Kudos for handling it as well as you do.  I would of knocked the guy out by now.
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Offline dethklok09

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #14 on: June 28, 2011, 06:37:08 PM »
You'd have to be sneaky about it or you could get arrested






















































:neverusethis:
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Offline sneakyblueberry

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #15 on: June 28, 2011, 06:38:20 PM »
Totally.  Can't believe he hasn't (deth)clocked the guy by now.


eh? eh? ehh?
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Offline The Ugliest Unicorn

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #16 on: June 28, 2011, 06:39:30 PM »
Quote from: dethklok09 on June 28, 2011, 06:37:08 PM
You better be sneaky about it or you could get arrested

99.9%* of Earth's population doesn't believe I exist. I can be sneaky when I need to be. :neverusethis:

*(.1% is made up of crazy people and furries).
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Offline dethklok09

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #17 on: June 28, 2011, 06:41:24 PM »
Well I was directing the joke towards sneakyblueberry

But why am I arguing with a unicorn

Some things will never be answered
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Offline The Ugliest Unicorn

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #18 on: June 28, 2011, 06:44:33 PM »
Quote from: dethklok09 on June 28, 2011, 06:41:24 PM
Well I was directing the joke towards sneakyblueberry

But why am I arguing with a unicorn

Some things will never be answered

Oh. I thought we were still on the ''stick him'' course of action (not applicable for moral reasons btw).
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Offline YtseJam

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #19 on: June 28, 2011, 06:45:56 PM »
Wait are you a guy?  ???
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Offline TheVoxyn

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #20 on: June 28, 2011, 06:46:30 PM »
Quote from: YtseJam on June 28, 2011, 06:45:56 PM
Wait are you a guy?  ???
Ever seen a female unicorn?
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Offline The Ugliest Unicorn

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #21 on: June 28, 2011, 06:47:09 PM »
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Offline YtseJam

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #22 on: June 28, 2011, 06:49:34 PM »
..and straight?
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Offline The Ugliest Unicorn

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #23 on: June 28, 2011, 06:50:55 PM »
Quote from: YtseJam on June 28, 2011, 06:49:34 PM
..and straight?

No. I am gay. ...I probably didn't make that as clear as I should have.
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Offline dethklok09

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #24 on: June 28, 2011, 06:51:03 PM »
you ever see a gay unicorn?






edit: god damnit
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Offline TheVoxyn

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #25 on: June 28, 2011, 06:53:58 PM »
Quote from: The Ugliest Unicorn on June 28, 2011, 06:50:55 PM
Quote from: YtseJam on June 28, 2011, 06:49:34 PM
..and straight?

No. I am gay. ...I probably didn't make that as clear as I should have.
I thought it was pretty clear tbqh. But I guess it's still a controversial/uncommon subject in some places.

Quote from: dethklok09 on June 28, 2011, 06:51:03 PM
you ever see a gay unicorn?
I think that's like every unicorn ever.
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Offline GuineaPig

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #26 on: June 28, 2011, 07:02:47 PM »
Don't people know that there's a gender icon besides everyone's usernames?
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Offline setrataeso

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #27 on: June 28, 2011, 07:04:15 PM »
Quote from: GuineaPig on June 28, 2011, 07:02:47 PM
Don't people know that there's a gender icon besides everyone's usernames?

He probably thought it was a trick.
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Offline YtseJam

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #28 on: June 28, 2011, 07:09:17 PM »
Well I'm not gay but I guess it's flattering to have someone who thinks you're the cats ass but just be direct. Just say listen, I'm not into you so please back off before this gets ugly.
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Offline TheVoxyn

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #29 on: June 28, 2011, 07:12:56 PM »
I'm not sure how the situation would be different if he weren't gay and his co-worker was female. Or of he was female. Or if they both were female and had hot lesbian sex all the time.



hmm, hot lesbian sex :staringintodistancesmiley:
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Offline setrataeso

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #30 on: June 28, 2011, 07:13:16 PM »
This guy just seems more pushy than most. Most guys will back off if you straight-up say "not interested" (this goes for gay and straight guys). With this guy, I feel like you need to be blunt. This guy is not getting it, and there's no sense in letting this make you feel uncomfortable any longer. Next time he makes a move that crosses the line, just bluntly tell him to knock it off.
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Offline ricky

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #31 on: June 28, 2011, 07:13:54 PM »
Quote from: The Ugliest Unicorn on June 28, 2011, 06:39:30 PM
Quote from: dethklok09 on June 28, 2011, 06:37:08 PM
You better be sneaky about it or you could get arrested

99.9%* of Earth's population doesn't believe I exist. I can be sneaky when I need to be. :neverusethis:

*(.1% is made up of crazy people and furries).


that's because while you do exist, unicorns don't.



edit - and you're welcome.

"(not applicable for moral reasons btw)"


is this a foreign language?
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Offline The Ugliest Unicorn

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #32 on: June 28, 2011, 07:14:00 PM »
Quote from: YtseJam on June 28, 2011, 07:09:17 PM
Well I'm not gay but I guess it's flattering to have someone who thinks you're the cats ass but just be direct. Just say listen, I'm not into you so please back off before this gets ugly.


I'm afraid I've done as much,yet he still persists on telling fibs about having had sexual contact with me in various ways. He will admit he's talking bollocks if pressed, but it's still just creepy to think about.

Thanks. 

It's been a while since we've gone out together with friends so if he does try anything I'll pull him aside (hopefully he won't get the wrong impression) and restate my position.
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Offline Adami

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #33 on: June 28, 2011, 07:17:59 PM »
You could tell everyone that he gave you crabs.
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Offline rumborak

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Re: Best way of dealing with colleagues unwanted advances?
« Reply #34 on: June 28, 2011, 07:21:15 PM »
Go to HR, that's what they are for. It's plain sexual harassment, and yes, if it happens outside the work place it still is.

rumborak
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