Never trust clowns

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

Alright so my best friends cousin was having a birthday party. She was turning 12, and I don't know why my friend wanted me to come, but I went. Anyways, typical children's birthday party, kids having fun, being loud, etc.

So anyways, there was a female clown there the whole time. She wasn't really doing anything though. Just sitting there conversing with some of the adults, and silent at other times. the adults said that the woman said she was there for training, which was kinda weird. But I guess they thought nothing of it and carried on.

So then the singing of "Happy Birthday" begins. The girl blows out the candles, cake is eaten. It is then time for presents. Only one problem: several presents are gone. Not only that, so is everyone's wallets. And who did it? Well that clown woman was absolutely nowhere to be seen.

Seriously, what is with people? Stealing everyones things at a 12-year-olds birthday? That's messed. I think it is kinda odd that no one questioned her though. Of course I just assumed she was supposed to be there and didn't say a word to her, but the others even said she seemed shady and my friends mom even said that the woman kept going by her purse. Why they didn't ask what's up, I don't know. All I know is that clowns suck and I hope that woman gets caught.

[ClairvoyantCat]

Shit, you don't need to tell me to not trust clowns.  Fucking scariest creatures on earth. 

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

Agreed. They always disturbed me.

Presents and wallets weren't the only things stolen either. So was a little girls iPod, some guys cell phone, and some other stuff I can't remember.

[LeeHarveyKennedy]

Who leaves their wallet and phone unattended, even at a kid's birthday party?

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

Beats me.

[Volk9]

Shit, you don't need to tell me to not trust clowns.  Fucking scariest creatures on earth. 

[Gadough]

Shit, you don't need to tell me to not trust clowns.  Fucking scariest creatures on earth.  

Honestly, I've NEVER understood this. Clowns aren't scary. They're annoying, sure, but they're not scary at all. Why so many people are terrified of something that's supposed to make you happy makes no sense to me. It'd be like if you said "I hate comedians, they make me sad."

[ClairvoyantCat]

Honestly, I've NEVER understood this. Clowns aren't scary. They're annoying, sure, but they're not scary at all. Why so many people are terrified of something that's supposed to make you happy makes no sense to me. It'd be like if you said "I hate comedians, they make me sad."

I'd expect you to defend clowns.




considering you listen to an insane posse of them

[Volk9]

Shit, you don't need to tell me to not trust clowns.  Fucking scariest creatures on earth.  

Honestly, I've NEVER understood this. Clowns aren't scary. They're annoying, sure, but they're not scary at all. Why so many people are terrified of something that's supposed to make you happy makes no sense to me. It'd be like if you said "I hate comedians, they make me sad."

Did you ever watch IT as a child?

[axeman90210]

Shit, you don't need to tell me to not trust clowns.  Fucking scariest creatures on earth. 

Honestly, I've NEVER understood this. Clowns aren't scary. They're annoying, sure, but they're not scary at all. Why so many people are terrified of something that's supposed to make you happy makes no sense to me. It'd be like if you said "I hate comedians, they make me sad."

Did you ever watch IT as a child?

what's a matter Georgie, don't you want a balloon?

[Gadough]

@Seth

 

For real though. Why are you scared of them? What about clowns is so terrifying for you?

@Volk

Yeah, actually I did. It didn't affect me. It was a scary movie, but it didn't give me a lifelong fear of clowns.

[lonestar]

I like female clowns, they honk when you stick it in their poop chute.

[glaurung]

Honestly, I've NEVER understood this. Clowns aren't scary. They're annoying, sure, but they're not scary at all. Why so many people are terrified of something that's supposed to make you happy makes no sense to me. It'd be like if you said "I hate comedians, they make me sad."

I'd expect you to defend clowns.

considering you listen to an insane posse of them

 

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

I like female clowns, they honk when you stick it in their poop chute.

And then steal all your things afterwards.

[rumborak]

Shit, you don't need to tell me to not trust clowns.  Fucking scariest creatures on earth.  

Honestly, I've NEVER understood this. Clowns aren't scary. They're annoying, sure, but they're not scary at all. Why so many people are terrified of something that's supposed to make you happy makes no sense to me. It'd be like if you said "I hate comedians, they make me sad."

You know The Joker from Batman? That's what we see when we look at a clown.

rumborak

[lonestar]

I like female clowns, they honk when you stick it in their poop chute.

And then steal all your things afterwards.

And then you have to wash the shit off your dick, ok, ffemale clowns suck.

[ClairvoyantCat]

[Gadough]

Shit, you don't need to tell me to not trust clowns.  Fucking scariest creatures on earth.  

Honestly, I've NEVER understood this. Clowns aren't scary. They're annoying, sure, but they're not scary at all. Why so many people are terrified of something that's supposed to make you happy makes no sense to me. It'd be like if you said "I hate comedians, they make me sad."

You know The Joker from Batman? That's what we see when we look at a clown.

rumborak

Ok, with Pennywise, The Joker, and ICP, I'm beginning to see a theme here. You guys are scared of clowns because of negative portrayals of them in popular media. Fair enough, I suppose. But still. Whenever a clown is made out to be evil, I just can't take it seriously because....well, because it's a clown. It's essence is silliness and positivity. Attempting to make something inherently positive into something terrifying doesn't come across as authentic to me. When I can't take them seriously, they don't affect me at all, and the result is that I don't find them scary and I can't understand why others do.

[rumborak]

Also, what is exactly funny about a clown who looks as if he's gonna slit his wrists any second?

rumborak

[rumborak]

Ok, with Pennywise, The Joker, and ICP, I'm beginning to see a theme here. You guys are scared of clowns because of negative portrayals of them in popular media. Fair enough, I suppose.

Nope, definitely not for me. I thought clowns were creepy as shit way before I had ever heard of Pennywise, The Joker or whatever. My mom took me to the circus when I was really young, and I would not stop crying every time the clowns came. It's really the other way around; Pennywise and The Joker are clowns because so many people find the creepy to begin with.

rumborak

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

Ok, with Pennywise, The Joker, and ICP, I'm beginning to see a theme here. You guys are scared of clowns because of negative portrayals of them in popular media. Fair enough, I suppose.

Nope, definitely not for me. I thought clowns were creepy as shit way before I had ever heard of Pennywise, The Joker or whatever. My mom took me to the circus when I was really young, and I would not stop crying every time the clowns came. It's really the other way around; Pennywise and The Joker are clowns because so many people find the creepy to begin with.

This.

[axeman90210]

I like female clowns, they honk when you stick it in their poop chute.

And then steal all your things afterwards.

And then you have to wash the shit off your dick, ok, ffemale clowns suck.

I think that's what the flower that squirts water is for

[lonestar]

I like female clowns, they honk when you stick it in their poop chute.

And then steal all your things afterwards.

And then you have to wash the shit off your dick, ok, ffemale clowns suck.

I think that's what the flower that squirts water is for

[LeeHarveyKennedy]

Next question: How (lady-)ballsy do you have to be to rob a bunch of people in broad daylight dressed as a clown? That takes confidence, skill, a talent for putting things in your pants, and a low moral fiber. You're all terrified or outraged, I'm turned on. Pardon me, I've got a giant set of shoes to rent.

[Ravenheart]

Interestingly enough, I'm currently catching up on reading Stephen King's IT.


The book confirms what I've suspected for a long time: clowns can take on various forms.

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

Next question: How (lady-)ballsy do you have to be to rob a bunch of people in broad daylight dressed as a clown? That takes confidence, skill, a talent for putting things in your pants, and a low moral fiber. You're all terrified or outraged, I'm turned on. Pardon me, I've got a giant set of shoes to rent.

[carl320]

Blame the Uncanny Valley.  Clowns are seen as trying to look human (even though they are human... the makeup they wear alters their appearance just enough), and even though they get close, they get caught in the valley, causing people to feel creeped out by them.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley

[rumborak]

I don't know all the details, but I'm not convinced it was the woman. I mean, as mentioned in the OP, she was known to the other clowns. Meaning, she could expect a knock on the door from the cops within a few hours of the event. Banking on the hope that she can get rid of all evidence doesn't seem like a likely scenario.
What about the other guests?

rumborak

[LeeHarveyKennedy]

I don't know all the details, but I'm not convinced it was the woman. I mean, as mentioned in the OP, she was known to the other clowns. Meaning, she could expect a knock on the door from the cops within a few hours of the event. Banking on the hope that she can get rid of all evidence doesn't seem like a likely scenario.
What about the other guests?

rumborak

Hey, yeah. Say, you didn't really belong there, LLTWM. It doesn't sound too far-fetched to believe that you'd go to your friend's cousin's party, steal a few things and blame it on a poor clown. Nobody suspects the friend of the cousin when thar's clowns aboundin'!

[Ravenheart]

Colonel LieLowTheWantedMan in the library with the candlestick.

[AcidLameLTE]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki?search=Pogo+the+clown

[ZBomber]

Wait so... there was a clown there, but no one hired a clown... and no one said anything? WTF 

And clowns never came off as scary to me.

[Dimitrius]

Shit, you don't need to tell me to not trust clowns.  Fucking scariest creatures on earth. 

Honestly, I've NEVER understood this. Clowns aren't scary. They're annoying, sure, but they're not scary at all. Why so many people are terrified of something that's supposed to make you happy makes no sense to me. It'd be like if you said "I hate comedians, they make me sad."

Did you ever watch IT as a child?

what's a matter Georgie, don't you want a balloon?

They all float!

[axeman90210]

Shit, you don't need to tell me to not trust clowns.  Fucking scariest creatures on earth. 

Honestly, I've NEVER understood this. Clowns aren't scary. They're annoying, sure, but they're not scary at all. Why so many people are terrified of something that's supposed to make you happy makes no sense to me. It'd be like if you said "I hate comedians, they make me sad."

Did you ever watch IT as a child?

what's a matter Georgie, don't you want a balloon?

They all float!

And when you're down here with me, YOU'LL FLOAT TOO

[Dr. DTVT]

Wallets belong in one of three places:

1) In your front pocket
2) In your hand
3) In your locked house when only people who live there are home

Phones get a few extra places, like on your desk at work, but not much else.

As for presents...that's terrible.  This is a good time to make a pitch for The Sun Cannon®