Author Topic: When I was a kid... (Read 15504 times)

Volk9 · « **on:** June 01, 2011, 09:03:19 AM »

1. ...I used to think a condominium was plural for condoms

2. Whenever I had to go through a dark area, I ran past and told the imaginary monsters "Im not racing you!"

3. Rape was taking a rake and scratching someone

4. I use to take action figures and have them battle my penis when I was in the tub. I thought this was "playing with yourself".

The Degenerate · « **Reply #1 on:** June 01, 2011, 09:07:23 AM »

HOLY FUCKING LOL

kári · « **Reply #2 on:** June 01, 2011, 09:10:12 AM »

Can't top those sorry.

Global Laziness · « **Reply #3 on:** June 01, 2011, 09:14:20 AM »

Quote from: Volk9 on June 01, 2011, 09:03:19 AM

I use to take action figures and have them battle my penis when I was in the tub. I thought this was "playing with yourself".

Sig'd.

TheMadgician · « **Reply #4 on:** June 01, 2011, 09:15:18 AM »

I cant even form a proper response to that. Just. Fuck.

King Postwhore · « **Reply #5 on:** June 01, 2011, 09:16:45 AM »

Even in the summer time I'd wrap a blanket around my neck in fear of vampires. Because we all know blankets can stop vampires.

Global Laziness · « **Reply #6 on:** June 01, 2011, 09:17:11 AM »

Oh I've got one.

When I was a kid, I didn't know what the actual name for "bras" was so I called them booby-protectors.

Volk9 · « **Reply #7 on:** June 01, 2011, 09:34:20 AM »

Quote from: Global Laziness on June 01, 2011, 09:17:11 AM

Oh I've got one.

When I was a kid, I didn't know what the actual name for "bras" was so I called them booby-protectors.

My grandma calls them "titty-keep uppas"

tri.ad · « **Reply #8 on:** June 01, 2011, 09:35:45 AM »

... I am speechless.

TheMadgician · « **Reply #9 on:** June 01, 2011, 09:46:04 AM »

Is it bad I'm tempted to bust out some action figures to fight my one eyed sausage beast now?

Gadough · « **Reply #10 on:** June 01, 2011, 09:55:55 AM »

Why is this list only 4 items long? Want moar.

YtseBitsySpider · « **Reply #11 on:** June 01, 2011, 09:57:09 AM »

I used to suck air up my ass and fart all through gym class, so I'd get kicked out because I was "sucky" at basketball and didn't want to play.

kári · « **Reply #12 on:** June 01, 2011, 10:47:17 AM »

.... How?

TheVoxyn · « **Reply #13 on:** June 01, 2011, 10:50:30 AM »

Ravenheart · « **Reply #14 on:** June 01, 2011, 10:53:57 AM »

Chino · « **Reply #15 on:** June 01, 2011, 10:55:01 AM »

Dime bags cost a dime.

ZBomber · « **Reply #16 on:** June 01, 2011, 11:05:40 AM »

I always thought "chimney" was pronounced "chinny" up until I was like... 8.

Dimitrius · « **Reply #17 on:** June 01, 2011, 11:06:13 AM »

Quote from: Volk9 on June 01, 2011, 09:03:19 AM

4. I use to take action figures and have them battle my penis when I was in the tub. I thought this was "playing with yourself".

By far my favorite.

Volk9 · « **Reply #18 on:** June 01, 2011, 11:15:17 AM »

Quote from: YtseBitsySpider on June 01, 2011, 09:57:09 AM

I used to suck air up my ass and fart all through gym class, so I'd get kicked out because I was "sucky" at basketball and didn't want to play.

I did this too.

Quote from: Gadough on June 01, 2011, 09:55:55 AM

Why is this list only 4 items long? Want moar.

I'll think of a few more, but those were the best

black_biff_stadler · « **Reply #19 on:** June 01, 2011, 11:29:40 AM »

1) I thought cartoons were real.

2) I'd wait up during the midnight hour for this "13 o'clock" I knew existed(I live in America so no 24-hr clock)

3) I thought a commercial was a thick mustachemaybe that was Sonata216 :/

toro · « **Reply #20 on:** June 01, 2011, 11:35:48 AM »

I thought that in the past, everything was on Black and white because Old movies were like that.

JosephAOI · « **Reply #21 on:** June 01, 2011, 11:41:38 AM »

When I was in Kindergarten, I was afraid of going into Grade School because I thought my mom was saying 'Grey School' and that everything would be grey

Gadough · « **Reply #22 on:** June 01, 2011, 11:46:19 AM »

Quote from: toro on June 01, 2011, 11:35:48 AM

I thought that in the past, everything was on Black and white because Old movies were like that.

Wait...

the past WASN'T in black and white???

YtseBitsySpider · « **Reply #23 on:** June 01, 2011, 11:56:42 AM »

Im 36.
I still have a phobia of public toilets, flushing them with my foot, with the door open after a deuce.
I do this, because at age 3 in a pre-school that used to soak their cloth diapers in the toilets....I decided that one of the toilets with the shitty diaper should be flushed. I flooded out the entire pre-school and one of the women screamed at me.(a lesson for you new parents at the board about yelling at your kids)

When I was a teenager working at Pizza Hut, we were informed a Health Inspector would be coming in a weeks time. I organized an "everyone pee in this jug beside the toilet and see if the Inspector finds it" campaign with the boys of the store. Two full jugs of piss in plain sight of the toilets were not found.

YtseBitsySpider · « **Reply #24 on:** June 01, 2011, 12:01:26 PM »

...I've got lots.
How many pages will this thread get to?

I've witnessed 2 circle jerks.
but participated in 0.

Zydar · « **Reply #25 on:** June 01, 2011, 12:02:02 PM »

Quote from: toro on June 01, 2011, 11:35:48 AM

I thought that in the past, everything was on Black and white because Old movies were like that.

I thought so too, I remember asking my dad about this when I was flipping through his old photo albums.

ScioPath · « **Reply #26 on:** June 01, 2011, 12:03:41 PM »

Quote from: toro on June 01, 2011, 11:35:48 AM

I thought that in the past, everything was on Black and white because Old movies were like that.

Volk9 · « **Reply #27 on:** June 01, 2011, 12:14:43 PM »

Quote from: black_floyd on June 01, 2011, 11:29:40 AM

3) I thought a commercial was a thick mustachemaybe that was Sonata216 :/

That was mine you goose head!

Orbert · « **Reply #28 on:** June 01, 2011, 01:14:51 PM »

Quote from: Volk9 on June 01, 2011, 09:03:19 AM

1. ...I used to think a condominium was plural for condoms

I knew what a condominium was because my grandpa lived in one. My parents taught us the word and how it's different from an apartment. But I thought "condom" was just an abbreviation for "condominium".

black_biff_stadler · « **Reply #29 on:** June 01, 2011, 01:15:06 PM »

Quote from: Volk9 on June 01, 2011, 12:14:43 PM

Quote from: black_floyd on June 01, 2011, 11:29:40 AM
3) I thought a commercial was a thick mustachemaybe that was Sonata216 :/

That was mine you goose head!

A) Read the microfont in that post

B) Did I mistake you for someone else?

JosephAOI · « **Reply #30 on:** June 01, 2011, 01:23:45 PM »

Quote from: Orbert on June 01, 2011, 01:14:51 PM

Quote from: Volk9 on June 01, 2011, 09:03:19 AM
1. ...I used to think a condominium was plural for condoms

I knew what a condominium was because my grandpa lived in one. My parents taught us the word and how it's different from an apartment. But I thought "condom" was just an abbreviation for "condominium".

I thought it had something to do with condiments

Nighthawkwill7 · « **Reply #31 on:** June 01, 2011, 01:31:13 PM »

When I was little, I used to think God rented the Earth to the Greek Pantheon while he went on vacation to the other side of the universe.

King Postwhore · « **Reply #32 on:** June 01, 2011, 01:31:52 PM »

Wwhen I was a kid I thought my dad knew it all. He could pick who would win every wrestling match watching the WWF. As I grew older I figured out that Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka always wrestled Al. A 350 pound, ghost white, balding, one strapped leotard wearing oaf. Man did he pull the wool over my eyes.

Silver Tears · « **Reply #33 on:** June 01, 2011, 01:46:38 PM »

EEEE calvin and hobbes

also volk:

Volk9 · « **Reply #34 on:** June 01, 2011, 02:20:16 PM »

Quote from: black_floyd on June 01, 2011, 01:15:06 PM

Quote from: Volk9 on June 01, 2011, 12:14:43 PM
Quote from: black_floyd on June 01, 2011, 11:29:40 AM
3) I thought a commercial was a thick mustachemaybe that was Sonata216 :/

That was mine you goose head!

A) Read the microfont in that post

B) Did I mistake you for someone else?

Ready for the twist?

I am Sonata216

News: The Gift of Music official video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fae4FQ4McSY

Author Topic: When I was a kid... (Read 15504 times)